hey so last night i was looking for charming teddy bears, and what should have been a just and noble quest devolved into a horrible discovery:
for around 200 big ones, you can purchase a teddy bear with the body of a man and the eyes of a creature that knows it should not exist
despite the fact it’s dressed like the boring guy you avoid at office christmas parties in every ad, it does not, in fact, arrive at your home khaki’d up and ready to go.
he’s 5'7" so i hope you just have clothes for an adult man just laying around. and yes, his name is Puffy.
anyways the naked photos further cement his horrid homunculus status.
all of the information provided about this thing make it seem like its creators only have a passing understanding of human beings.
i mean like yeah. that is true. teddy bears are usually shaped like bears and this one certainly is not.
kill the ones you love. puffy is enough.
puffy is enough.
hey! don’t be scared, okay?
puffy is a milky brown!
sorry i can’t believe i forgot the most ominous thing on the site
every artist who has ever attempted to satirize masculinity i am so sorry
you could name a movie Portrait of a delusional abuser ruining his own life in pursuit of a fictional standard of manhood and 89% of its fanbase would still be like “Fuck yeah man it was so cool when Shit Cumdick gave that badass speech about how pushing everyone away and never letting yourself feel emotions is actually a good idea for your life. fuckin dope flick”
every artist who has ever attempted to satirize masculinity i am so sorry
you could name a movie Portrait of a delusional abuser ruining his own life in pursuit of a fictional standard of manhood and 89% of its fanbase would still be like “Fuck yeah man it was so cool when Shit Cumdick gave that badass speech about how pushing everyone away and never letting yourself feel emotions is actually a good idea for your life. fuckin dope flick”
earlier my friend said to me “somewhere out there, in an alternate universe, there’s an all female rock band called ‘king’” and I’m STILL recovering from that mental image and how gay it made me feel
Maid cleaning a massive chateau surely belonging to the richest people you’ve ever seen, and as she’s walking from room to room you notice that every single portrait is of her
U ever do something & then think “Woww this is so Mepilled This is Something i would do & like” & its like. well everything i do is “myself-coded” because it is done by me. I think we need to break up This Isnt Working for me.
people on tumblr have taken “boycott” to mean like “any time people don’t buy something” so you have people talking about a Nintendo Boycott and making references about like “you couldn’t even boycott chick fil a” wrt people buying a switch 2, but the thing is like. there is no Nintendo Boycott. there is no like organized political action to boycott nintendo rn. you’re just annoyed someone bought a game console when you personally wouldn’t.
like very few people were even talking about a boycott, mostly it was just people going “wow this is egregiously expensive” which like. it is! but people buy themselves egregiously expensive stuff all the time. as a treat.
you’re allowed to be annoyed its whatever just like don’t pretend like its a Political Thing it makes you look corny and like you’re just reaching for a Justifiable Reason to not like something when you can just not like it. you can just be annoyed people are dropping 5 hundo on a game console. that’s fine.
To be clear you can also choose not to buy from unethical companies because you think they’re unethical. I don’t buy from Amazon because I choose not to support Amazon and I don’t buy anything I know is produced by Nestle for the same reason (though Nestle and Amazon both own like a billion other corporations so I’m probably accidentally buying their stuff anyway). This is not a boycott it’s just run of the mill consumer choice. You can decide that buying from Nintendo is unethical because of how they treat their employees or how they’ve legally abused people and abstain from doing it if you want but that doesn’t make it a boycott.
the people on here I am most jealous of and grateful for are the guys who seem to spend most of their time driving around rotting rural towns in the fog with really respectable DSLRs and then bringing back a few of the most haunting photos youve ever seen to their blogs where, if you click back, theyve been doing exactly the same thing since about 2011. I think these are God’s angels on earth
guy who enjoys german class a little too much: ancient slavs had words of power they used to shout mountains apart
girl who collects crystals: that’s actually true as fuck
70 year old professor who sometimes calls students “comrade”: faggotry is actually good, I don’t have a problem with faggotry, Aristotle was a faggot, Caesar was a faggot…
guy behind me: YOOOOO check it out (pulls up beheading video on a chechen telegram previously unknown to mankind)
Professor: …Galileo was a faggot, I think Napoleon was a faggot, Comrade Tito probably wasn’t a faggot but…
the dogs wouldn’t stop getting in my dads gross chair so he carved this weird sculpture of his own frowning face with a chainsaw and puts it on the chair when he’s not sitting in it. the dogs are scared of it
I think this blog is helping me learn how to be less parasocial because before now I’ve only ever heard it used when referring to crazy insane fans who think their favorite blogger/youtuber/streamer/whatever is in love with them but this is making me realize that that isn’t the case. parasocialness can happen even with seemingly small things. all in all be mean to your anons it helps them and I’m sorry if this is parasocial in and of itself
idk what you’re blogging about rn but I hope you get that man pregnant or whatever 👍
the thing about parasociality is that it’s undergone a rather bizarre transformation wherein the connotation is almost always a negative one, when the actual definition is merely describing a very human ability to feel connected to and concerned with people who we’ve never met and even “people” who might not really exist - the term was coined in the 50s to describe the attachment and investment that people felt in fictional television characters.
there’s nothing innately negative OR positive about a parasocial relationship. to your example, a relationship doesn’t become parasocial when you convince yourself that your favorite media personality is in love with you, but rather when you develop a sense of fondness for them in the first place.
I have no illusions about now attached my favorite youtube yoga instructor feels to me, personally (she doesn’t, at all, because we’ve never directly interacted) but I feel warmly about her all the same, frequently feel cheered after following along with her yoga routines, and will be sad when the dog who appears in many of her videos inevitably dies. that’s a parasocial relationship and it’s fine! it’s not bad to care about people you don’t know personally, and that is arguably an important thing to be able to do.
you feeling warmly about my tumblr persona and appreciating what I do here is also parasocial, and that’s okay! like I said, that’s neither good nor bad! the parasociality can be harmful, but it’s all nuance baybeeee!
A hilarious rendition of: What you read has nothing to do with endorsing it or wanting it in real life, some people simply engage with the fantasy of it!
things that are sexy in fiction are red flags in real life. that’s not a double standard, or women/girls being dumb, its that the fantasy is inherently safe.
“there are only two sexes, it’s literally third grade biology!” and pronouns are taught in kindergarten and you dont seem to understand those either
ok its literally this
this is why, when someone tells me “there are only two sexes, it’s basic biology!” my favorite response is to ask “what, you never made it to advanced biology?” like don’t load the gun and then hand it to me lmao
I’ve seen this before, but it’s been years and it just came across my Twitter in its dying days. The words are from a favorite author of mine, Maggie Stiefvater, and they are the words I most need to hear when it comes to dealing with chronic pain and illness. I didn’t need this the first time I saw it, six years ago. I need it now. Maybe you do, too.
telling starving tgirls who complain about no hrt gains to “eat like a teenager” is slightly incorrect; in a sense, she already is eating exactly like a teenage girl. tell her to eat like a healthy teenager
Basic trouble shooting for people who aren’t mechanics and have no interest in becoming one:
1. Does it have a spiny part that’s not spinning, or isn’t spinning the way it’s supposed to? Look at it- is there anything stringy wound around the spiny part? Remove it. Applies to: vacuums, aquarium filters, blenders, and rototillers, weed eaters, and lawn mowers.
1.b Is there debris from the spiny part that is building up on an nearby surface? Remove it. Applies to: vacuums, lawnmowers, probably other things.
2. Does it have a part that air, water, or other materials move through? Look at it- is there a clog, even a small or flimsy looking one? Remove it. Applies to: lawnmowers, vacuums, pumps, probably more.
3. If it has a gas engine, does it have gas? The right kind of gas? Does it have oil? If it’s electric, is it plugged in? Or is it’s battery charged?
4. Does it have a filter? Is the filter dirty/clogged? Clean it. Applies to vacuums, pumps, and some small engines.
5. Is it electric? Is there a safety feature where it won’t work unless a certain peice is in place? Is there something keeping it from popping up or into place? Remove it. Did a small plastic peice break off? Can you super glue it back on in a safe manner?
6. Are there fluid tanks? Do they have fluid levels between the empty and full marks?
7. Are there tubes and/or wires? Are they all attached and going where they’re supposed to? If it has spark plugs, are they all where they’re supposed to be? If it has belts, are they taut?
8. Are there bolts and nuts? Screws? Are they all where they’re supposed to be?
1 & 2 really are responsible for about 80% of the issues I run into. For gas engines, 3 is surprisingly common.
3a. Is the gasoline/diesel fuel FRESH? Fuels go ‘sour’ after 3-ish months. I do not know why they do this. Chemically they just do. You can prevent this with a product called Sta-bil. I do not know how it works. It just does.
5a. Please make sure that safety feature is actually broken vs functioning as intended. There may be a certain way or sequence you have to handle or operate the Thing which will disable the safety mechanism as desined. You can usually find this information in the owner’s manual.
Two things that can help with maintenance anxiety:
You can take a photo of the thing when you first get it, or after it’s been fixed from the problem. That’s a reference for how it should look. You can use that as your thing to go “wait, did X always look like that?”
Record yourself taking the thing apart. If the vacuum/mower/etc stopped working, and you have to start disassembling it: start recording before you do anything & have it record the entire dissembling process so you can reverse-engineer putting it back together if it’s not intuitive. Or, in the worst-case, you now have a video of what you did that you can show to the repair person who asks “so what did you do?”
My top tip: googling “[Brand] [Model name/number] service manual” will sometimes yield a PDF with detailed instructions on troubleshooting your Thing. These are either aimed at DIY-capable end users, or they are the company’s instructions that they give their own service techs.
“But I’m not a service tech!” Don’t worry. These are written to be Fully Idiot Proof. There’s a lot of turnover in the basic level service tech positions and these documents are made to get people started as quickly as possible. You’ll be OK.
Also, if your thing is Electric, and it’s not powered or not charging:
FIRST, TURN IT OFF (or remove the battery, unplug, or otherwise disable the power)
Check the metal bits that touch other metal bits to bring power to the Thing: plugs, battery contacts, etc. Are they dull or dirty? Is there dust in the way? Are they not actually touching when plugged in? You want them to be clean, shiny, and connected.
If they’re not, you can try: 1) Brushing or wiping away dust. 2) Wiping with rubbing alcohol and a lint-free cloth. Let dry fully before testing. 3) Bend the metal bits SLIGHTLY to get better contact. 4) Scrape or sand the metal surface (carefully) to remove dirt or corrosion.
detective beebo is so real honestly. divorce that businessman and date his sister. kill him dead. cover up the murder. take the kids. truly words to live by.
me: i don’t want to see jellyfish so i will blacklist the tag #jellyfish
people with no common sense: je11yf1sh, je11¥fi5h, j*llyf*sh, je//ÿf!sh, j3ï||yf¡sh, gel lee fisk
result: cannot account for the sheer amount of possible ways to alter the word jellyfish
conclusion: i have to see jellyfish now.
Once again, tumblr is not tiktok, tag properly.
This. Please. Whether I’m avoiding spoilers for a show or people promoting eating disorders, if I block a tag it means I don’t want to see it. Spell your fucking tags properly.
In your average city builder, you play as an almighty God Mayor who does not have to listen or interact at all with his citizens, he has complete power of life and death over them and can shape the city at will. Except for Traffic, the most powerful force in the universe and the only thing that actually matters to simulate in a city simulator. Everything else is just a backdrop for Traffic.
G̴͛͟OͤT̘ ̛̘̉̕͟Sͪ͏̴̠̙T́ͨǓ̳͔̆͢C̀K̘̀ ̰͈͓͟I̮̩ͮ̏N̫̫̑͢ ̧̆AΙ ̨͕̺̮̆ḺO͊O̶̥̣ͤ͒P̛ ̼͍̉͝ ^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Most of you are welcome, friendly Human®. | PayPal | Patreon
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portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop ^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.
Soon your life will be miserable and pointless, dear Human®. | PayPal | Patreon
portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop ^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.
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portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop ^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.
I’m less annoying than Windows® 10 update notificiations ♥‿♥ | PayPal | Patreon
portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop ^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.
Soon I’ll make fellow citizens beg for mercy. | PayPal | Patreon
A day will come when i won’t reblog this…
But it is not today
What the fuck is even happening with this post??? Also it’s got 1 note again.
I got a notif saying I was mentioned in this post but I clearly wasn’t
HeY tumblr what the FUCK
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Did the man get his camera
I have seen posts that broke the notes. But this is the first time I’ve seen a post that broke the bots.
I know this is long but holy hell I love it when bots run amok
I know this is long
but holy hell I love it
when bots run amok
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
I think I saw somewhere that the man got his camera back. Also what the fuck tumblr.
What Tumblr eldritch horror did I find
It says it has 5 notes, but only 4 people show up!
Congrats to the 4 people who were able to leave notes on this post
Congrats to the 4
people who were able to
leave notes on this post
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
This man has been looking for his camera through the fabric of time and space so it simply broke tumblr
bok bok
[if doctor who had a camera]
great post everyone
I’ve seen other (shorter) reblog chains of this post, and sometimes I forget this one has broken notes
Tumblr breaks the Tumblr, 4K
6 notes as of this reblog
Back to one note for me
meow
Fun fact : unlike most Tumblr posts, where notes indicates the interactions with all reblogs stemming from the original one, broken posts’ notes indicates only the interaction with this particular reblog.
The original sin of cyberpunk as a genre is consistently offering utopic power fantasies while claiming to be dystopic. In Shadowrun the Seattle government builds a public housing project
