*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free
invasive species encroach on lesbian territory
This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.
A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.
Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.
As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.
Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.
This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.
A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.
Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.
One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.
Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.
Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.
Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.
Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.
As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.
now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!
question where does the “art student” or “DIYer” “crafter” or “soap maker” or “miniaturist“ etc. who has ventured into the store for supplies fall into the ecosystem/what is their impact of said ecosystem?
Most of the above are native to craft and hobby stores (art students, historically, are native to museums, but having been introduced to hobby stores, have found a niche for themselves and thrived), but all can be seen in hardware stores on occasion due to territorial overlap. They are generally low-impact, as they tend to stick to specific small areas and primarily utilize different resources. While a large group of any of them can be disruptive (art students, in particular, are known to travel in packs), in general, they are more likely to have territorial disputes with one another than with the local fauna.
A point of clarity -“crafter” is a bit misleading; while it conjures a specific image, much like ‘fish’ or ‘reptile’ it actually covers a broad array of wildly disparate species, and in general, more descriptive nomenclature is preferred. Fiber artists in particular are a genus to watch out for, particularly in groups. Beware a roving pack of domesticated quilters. They fear nothing, will go anywhere, and due to their social nature, will often seek interaction from other species that thrive best in solitude. They are quite friendly, and will happily adopt members of other species; the concern is that their adoptees do not always wish to be adopted.
I do wonder how lesbian/bisexual lumberjack-mimickry fits into this
I can say as a former craft store worker that if you wish to see true fear, look into the eyes of a Dad who must venture into a craft store. Despite the overlap of familiar beings known to him from his native hardware store habitat, Dads are instinctively aware that craft stores are not for them; they contain unfamiliar perils and even the seemingly familiar may have strange variances and unnerving secrets. (”Why is this airbrush so small? What do you mean nails, why would you… WUT!!”)
Only experienced silverbacks or the boldest young Dads dare venture into a craft store for long without his mate or offspring to keep roving Craft Ladies at bay and guide him in this strange ecosystem. If a Dad enters with his mate and is
separated from her, he will often scuttle for the seeming familiarity of Woodcrafts,
Models, or
Paints (the latter not to be confused with Fine Arts, unquestioned territory of art students), but he eyes Scrapbooking and Jewelry with trepidation and will usually venture into those exotic areas only in the company of females of his pack.
Lumberjacks are rarely spotted entering craft stores of their own volition, for while
they do not fear it as Dads do, they know it is an environment unsuited
for megafauna such as themselves.
Hardware store Lesbians generally adapt more easily to craft stores, although they may enlist another Lesbian of a subspecies more adapted to that environment to guide them until they find their niche. Lesbians have even been known to seek the aid of a Craft Lady, a native fauna that share similarities with Lesbians but are usually smaller and nimbler to suit their chosen habitat. Dads who witness this are often awed by the Lesbians’ temerity, for although larger, Dads are generally wary of the cunning and dexterous Craft Ladies and may mistake their enthusiastic pack greetings as predatory swarming.
Craft Ladies, secure in their ecological niche, have no fear of interlopers and take the presence of non-native beings in stride, although they may become territorial about scarcer resources.
The only truly invasive species that threaten craft stores are Brides-to-Be, who are mere annoyances individually, but
like locusts
may descend in hordes and lay waste, leaving swathes of destruction in their wake. Fortunately
for the Craft Ladies,
Brides-to-Be are seasonal and usually
only a threat in the spring and early summer.
It Got Better
Is anybody going to address the newly invasive species of BuJo enthusiasts into the craft store/art supply store environment? Why aren’t we talking about the dangerous proliferation of Leuchtturm 1917s and the growing threat of Dotted Moleskins? I had to liberate a Dad from a tangle of washi tape in the art supply store the other day and it wasn’t pretty.
The natural habitat of journalers was stationary stores, which have been replaced by office supplies stores, not the same. Journalers invade the craft stores and art supplies stores to get the markers and washi tape and Sakura pens they require for survival.
The idea of something being classy and fancy is such bullshit. Consider charcuterie boards. Random cold meats, cheese, crackers, olives and pickles served straight off a cutting board is the kind of goblin dinner I would eat laying in bed in my underwear too hung over to move. But since it’s french then suddenly it’s all refined and sophisticated.
@kaboomi the big three of European colonialism: The british, the spanish, and the french. You kind of grow up assuming that they know what they’re doing, even if you absolutely do not approve of it, and then you visit there and go “how the fuck did these cavemen take over 1/3rd of an entire planet, they can barely even function.”
PLEASE CYBERBROS DRIVE YOUR TRUCK INTO THE NEAREST LAKE. DONT WORRY ITS A FEATURE
if you willingly drive your car into a lake, expecting it to float, knowing it was built by elon musk its just natural selection at that point
I mean… a woman already drowned in her Tesla bc she couldn’t get the doors to open due to them being built incredibly stupid. But… she did have time to call her family and let them know that she was definitely going to drown and nobody could do anything about it.
So yeah, if especially after that you drive your Cyber truck into the water, expecting it to become a boat…
You can either drown or you can die in unquenchable fire depending on how soon the water gets into the battery I guess
…and you can die by smacking face first into the solid slab of marble dashboard. now all that’s left is an air-themed death.
I love that the pandemic actually definitively proved a lot of those “hard” questions for us. Masking up reduced cases of the flu to almost nonexistent numbers and we had zero flu deaths for a time. The welfare and social service and unemployment programs helped keep people living paycheck to paycheck out of poverty, and those stimulus checks some folks keep complaining about actually massively benefitted the common man and the economy. Individual personal travel was so extremely restricted on a global scale that we basically have concrete proof that individual restraint in terms of driving cars or travelling means absolutely nothing by comparison because the mass pollution is coming from the fisheries and the corporations with private jets and container ships. Working from home actually has massive benefits for a company like productivity boosts and better mental health of employees while also saving gas
and we’re just. Willingly going back to how everything was before. We were shown how to do things better and the people in charge said “that’s nice but we just want to get everything ‘back to normal’ :)”
we’re not willingly going back to how everything was before. we are being forced back into it by members of the ruling class who found out that making things better for almost everyone else made them feel bad.
Let’s not forget about any of these things. Let’s reblog and schedule this post to pop in in the future to remind us of what we may have forgotten a little.
It’s fascinating how a lot of Evangelical Christian anxiety about Satanism seems to be rooted in the unspoken idea that if the Devil gathers enough worship he’ll depose God and become the new God, because that’s not the party line in any major religion, but it is how it works in Dungeons & Dragons.
Ended up taking a bit to make all the little shading and drawing details, and left the bg that way but I’m very happy with the results Not perfect but I hope it looks good enough to you all ! Really like how I managed the lo-fi part of it
Thanks to River Boy for such an amazing soundtrack, this animation is my tribute for him as well. Rest in Peace.
*grabs your hands and speaks to you in a tone that is so gentle* they/them pronouns stop being universal once you learn a person’s pronouns. Sometimes that person’s pronouns will include they/them and in that specific case you are allowed to keep using those pronouns for that person. In any case where you learn a persons pronouns and that person doesn’t use they/them, you should no longer use those pronouns for that person. If you continue to use they/them pronouns knowing that person doesn’t use them, you are now misgendering that person. Kindly stop doing that please. Thank you, I love you.
“what were you born yesterday” i was actually and shame on you for tricking a little baby i hope they slice open the flesh all across your body and rub dirt and salt into the wounds
rpg setting with multiple competing units of damage/resilience used in different regions. you gotta worry about the conversion between hp celsius and hp fahrenheit
“1 hp is the amount of damage dealt by a one gram sphere of pure iron traveling at one meter per second against a 1x1x1 meter cube of graphite at standard temperature and pressure” versus “it’s so intuitive, 100 hp of damage hurts a lot and 0 hp of damage doesn’t hurt at all so you can just think of it as ‘percent pain’”
it actually makes a lot of sense if you look into the history of it, see back in the first age Fantasy Dan Fahrenheit was a skilled artificer who designed high-precision health bars that were way more reliable and consistent than anything else that existed at the time. yes, the calibration points might seem archaic now, but at the time it was the most practical system realistically possible to reproduce at scale. and also it’s like so intuitive because if an attack does 100 hp of damage it hurts a lot so it’s l
well technically originally* the international wizard council defined 0 hp to be equal to the “KO point”, and yes for most practical applications when someone has 0 hp remaining they fall unconscious and need immediate medical attention (which we can all agree makes way more sense than how it works in hpF), but our understanding of health and damage has grown a lot in the centuries since then, and we now understand that the “KO point” isn’t a true constant. so these days it’s incorporated into the rest of the Fantasy Metric System by defining the Gargamel Constant precisely in terms of hp/mp*s², which is much more rigorous and exact.
*well if you want to go all the way back, when it was originally proposed the standard Health Point Celsius Scale was the opposite of what it is now, so someone’s hp total represented the amount of damage they’ve taken instead of the amount of damage they could still take before reaching the KO point. this was extremely hard to use so it didn’t last very long
i love the idea that health bars are physical objects
The international prototype health bar is kept inside a nested bell jar at the Archives Nationales in Paris.
Is this like an organ in a jar or measurement instrument
Bc like we put both in museums
in this “what if hp is like temperature” analogy a health bar is like a thermometer. I imagine in this world when you go to the doctor they stick a health bar in your mouth to check your hp. but of course adventurers would just carry their health bars around with them
So is there also a watts vs horsepower debate for mp?
* (Oh, my precious parentheses… (I don’t ever want to close them!
a lot of people in the notes are saying stuff like “this sounds like undertale dialogue” as if there aren’t asterisks before every line, my username isn’t abandoned-quiche, and my profile picture isn’t kris deltarune
1,762, you say? oh and two more. So that’s 1,764 then. Well don’t mind if I do.
happy to report that gen α is using ‘Elon Musk’ as a derogative as of recent
this came about because we were playing mario party last night and I used boo to steal a star and our son called me “elon musk” and when I asked why he said “because you didn’t earn that”
trans boys, trans men, transmascs, nonbinary people, intersex people, trans people of color, nonbinary people of color, and intersex people of color are NOT TRANSPHOBIC for talking about our/their lived experiences and oppression, point blank period.
to paint us/them as “transphobic” for this is, in itself, harmful and dangerous transphobia, and is only contributing to the division in the trans community when we NEED to be fighting our increasingly fascistic governments right now.
i need to invest in a punching bag or something cuz this shit got me feeling violently angry
oh good oh boy oh golly gee my city police dept has robot dogs now. that’s so fun. hey siri where is the weak point of a boston dynamics quadroped located
We need her now
Did u find out where it is btw because i think it should be basic knowledge for the public for safety reasons
On the 28th of April, 2011, Ed Balls got a Twitter account. He decided (as most people under the spotlight do) to attempted to look up his own name. However, all he did was tweet “Ed Balls”. This, for some reason, got retweeted by THOUSANDS of people. On a global scale. And because he didn’t know you could delete a tweet it stayed. Every year since then,the 28th of April is Ed Balls day.
This is the infamous tweet
and here are some gems to celebrate that have followed the years, including last year where they framed the tweet and got him to sign it for charity
There are also LOADS MORE in this article from the Telegraph
I MISSED ED BALLS DAY AND IM MAD ABOUT IT SO THIS IS GOING INTO MY QUEUE FOR ED BALLS DAY 2023
HAPPY ED BALLS DAY FROM THE PAST MOTHERFUCKERS
Happy Ed Balls day 2024!
[ID: 1. A picture of Ed Balls on a london underground ad. Text below reads, “Never forget. 28th April #EdBallsDay.”
2. A tweet from edballs, written on 28th april 2011. it reads, “ed balls.”
3. A tweet from nick_clegg: “Ed Balls.” this was followed by a tweet from edballs: “I agree with Nick… RT @nick_clegg: Ed Balls.”
4. Ed Balls’ Wikipedia page edited to have every single word replaced with the phrase, “Ed Balls.”
5. A photo of a selection of birthday cards marked as celebrating the event, “Ed Balls Day.” A tweet from Carousel_Lights remarks: “#EdBallsDay has become so commercialised. Shame really.”
6. A series of Coke bottles. The label on each reads, “Share a Coke with Ed Balls.”
7. A framed and signed version of the original Ed Balls tweet.
8. A photo of two Tesco’s Scotch eggs. A tweet from Tesco describes them as, “Egg Balls.”
9. A tweet from edballs, which reads: “Ed Balls #10LongYears.” Attached is a photo of Ed Balls holding a birthday cake with a “10” candle. /end ID]
On the 28th of April, 2011, Ed Balls got a Twitter account. He decided (as most people under the spotlight do) to attempted to look up his own name. However, all he did was tweet “Ed Balls”. This, for some reason, got retweeted by THOUSANDS of people. On a global scale. And because he didn’t know you could delete a tweet it stayed. Every year since then,the 28th of April is Ed Balls day.
This is the infamous tweet
and here are some gems to celebrate that have followed the years, including last year where they framed the tweet and got him to sign it for charity
There are also LOADS MORE in this article from the Telegraph
I MISSED ED BALLS DAY AND IM MAD ABOUT IT SO THIS IS GOING INTO MY QUEUE FOR ED BALLS DAY 2023
HAPPY ED BALLS DAY FROM THE PAST MOTHERFUCKERS
Happy Ed Balls day 2024!
[ID: 1. A picture of Ed Balls on a london underground ad. Text below reads, “Never forget. 28th April #EdBallsDay.”
2. A tweet from edballs, written on 28th april 2011. it reads, “ed balls.”
3. A tweet from nick_clegg: “Ed Balls.” this was followed by a tweet from edballs: “I agree with Nick… RT @nick_clegg: Ed Balls.”
4. Ed Balls’ Wikipedia page edited to have every single word replaced with the phrase, “Ed Balls.”
5. A photo of a selection of birthday cards marked as celebrating the event, “Ed Balls Day.” A tweet from Carousel_Lights remarks: “#EdBallsDay has become so commercialised. Shame really.”
6. A series of Coke bottles. The label on each reads, “Share a Coke with Ed Balls.”
7. A framed and signed version of the original Ed Balls tweet.
8. A photo of two Tesco’s Scotch eggs. A tweet from Tesco describes them as, “Egg Balls.”
9. A tweet from edballs, which reads: “Ed Balls #10LongYears.” Attached is a photo of Ed Balls holding a birthday cake with a “10” candle. /end ID]
I just discovered foodtimeline.org, which is exactly what it sounds like: centuries worth of information about FOOD. If you are writing something historical and you want a starting point for figuring out what people should be eating, this might be a good place?
CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY
this is awesome but the original link just turned into a redirect loop for me, here it is again (x)
OH HELLO
No more potatoes in medieval novels!
BREAD and SOUP have been around longer than alcohol and milk and domesticated chickens and tea and marshmallows (2000BC!!) and coffee and the Neolithic and the UK being islands and ancient Egypt and ancient Greece and Rome and Jesus… love for BREAD and SOUP is as old as time
I’d say that’s why they’re my favorite foods, but brocoli is my favorite and it was invented in 1993
I just discovered foodtimeline.org, which is exactly what it sounds like: centuries worth of information about FOOD. If you are writing something historical and you want a starting point for figuring out what people should be eating, this might be a good place?
CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY
this is awesome but the original link just turned into a redirect loop for me, here it is again (x)
OH HELLO
No more potatoes in medieval novels!
BREAD and SOUP have been around longer than alcohol and milk and domesticated chickens and tea and marshmallows (2000BC!!) and coffee and the Neolithic and the UK being islands and ancient Egypt and ancient Greece and Rome and Jesus… love for BREAD and SOUP is as old as time
I’d say that’s why they’re my favorite foods, but brocoli is my favorite and it was invented in 1993
no but you can FORCE it away. use ublock origin and copy paste the blacklist i made into the filters to be able to remove the bullshit AI overview that google forces. it also removes youtube’s forced ads (at least until they fix it)
HE GRABS THE CUP BUT THEN HE DROPS THE PEN 0.0003 SECONDS LATER
AND HE LOOKS UP AT THE CEILING INSTEAD OF AT THE GROUND WHEN HE CAN’T FIND THEM
I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING HE JUST DROPS IT
IT’S NOT FUNNY IT’S VERY LOGICAL THAT HE WOULD HAVE ADJUSTED TO LIVING LIFE WHILE HE WAS IN SPACE BECAUSE IT’S DIFFERENT FROM EARTH BUT I CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE
*THUNK*
i love it so much every time i see it
“ugh stupid gravity”
IM FUXKING CSHAKING
I haven’t seen this post on my dash in *years* bless this
Bless, this is absolutely amazing
I love this. It’s so gestural and he’s so exasperated about gravity.
ALT
ALT
