retroactivebakeries:

btc-official:

gostaks:

on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport the first person on the moon went there by accident and promptly died. The next dozen or so people also went by accident, and also died. Number 14 figured out that people who go to the moon die and very cleverly brought a sword and six weeks of travel rations. This did not help.

No one on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport ever figured out why people die in space because they don’t need airplanes and never found it particularly interesting to climb tall mountains. Astronomers use telescopes to take pictures of the ever-growing pile of corpses on the moon.

“why don’t they teleport back” because they’re not on the planet where everyone can teleport anymore. try to keep up dumbass

#this feels like a fable that would have some kind of moral but I’m not quite sure what#something about like hard work/effort/the need to be curious idk

the moral of the story is that a breathable atmosphere is important to one’s general well-being

american-auror-story:

thememedaddy:

televisionenjoyer:

:

I’ve realized recently that every time I’m asked for socials my response is sorta “oh i don’t have twitter” “I’m not on Instagram much” “i uninstalled TikTok a few months ago” and this has led people into believing I’m just someone who doesn’t do social media but in reality you can find me in here lets get it on cunts monday through shawty like a melody sunday, 9am to 12am, posting blorbo.

I was going to be like “well that certainly was not true cause you deactivated” and then I looked at the blog and. that’s literally my old blog.

relelvance:

nutongzhi:

relelvance:

nutongzhi:

wtf how is it midnight

It’s not midnight

i’m running a misinfo campaign

Okay sorry

elizabitchtaylor-deactivated202:

simply the fact that different body types for women go in and out of style throughout the decades should be enough to tell you that women’s bodies are considered consumable goods under capitalism

juststoleyourcat:

Trans Visibility Day activities

(image id in alt, i hope!)

nicostiel:

reblog this if your blog is a safe space on april fools and won’t have any jumpers, screamers, or anything scary or anxiety inducing

tainbocuailnge:

the original got flagged with no way to appeal it when every contributor is deactivated but I will never let this post die. it’s monday and we are getting on it cunts

theconcealedweapon:

Autistic people sometimes struggle with apologizing, because they’re never taught how to do it the right way.

When autistic people are taught how to apologize, they’re often taught that the sincerity of the apology is determined by how well they can hide their disability.

Not enough eye contact = insincere apology

Struggling to phrase it = insincere apology

Wrong tone = insincere apology

Asking questions to figure out how to prevent doing it again = insincere apology (and “arguing” or “making excuses”)

Meanwhile, neurotypical people can continue their patterns while still being considered sincere by these standards.

guardianspirits13:

@oh-tobeafrog thank you for inspiring me with this galaxy brain take on my two favorite marvel heroes :)

original post here

catnippackets:

I see way too many posts about being really affectionate with your friends and if you aren’t hugging and kissing your friends then you don’t really have friends and you should be in love with your friends a little bit and it annoys me so here’s a post that shouts out non-affectionate friends. shoutout to the people who don’t like affection or hugging or being super gushy with each other but still love and appreciate their friends dearly. shoutout to the people who find it really hard to be emotionally vulnerable and sweet but are still always there for you in a crisis. shoutout to people who don’t have to be hugging you constantly to prove that they care about you

stumbleinethevampirequeen:

knyareth:

tamamita:

tamamita:

What is the funniest pokemon move

Obsessed with the description for this move

losing my mind at the animation as well

mikkaeus:

wolfertinger666:

wolfertinger666:

wolfertinger666:

treat black queers kindly and love us. that’s all.

and don’t add any stupid shit derailing this, this is about black queers only. make your own damn post.

please if you’re going to reblog this, please reblog this addition so people get the memo along with:

listen to our voices and make us feel safe and comforted.

hateforest:

bloggoth:

bloggoth:

bloggoth:

bloggoth:

poor old granny scorpion-shoes. no one ever saw her death coming

it was pneumonia.

yes, her pet scorpion pneumonia, who lived in her shoe. tragic.

he shot her point blank

wolfentwined:

this is who youre asking to work 40hrs per week btw

amvs:

amvs:

amvs:

amvs:

amvs:

what are you guys’ most “tumblr is a website” moments

off to a great start everyone

i’ve been reading the tags all day i truly cannot pick a favorite so here’s more

hollowedskin:

creatures-in-posts:

jaycethetherian:

caats:

@creatures-in-posts

This creature is a sopping wet beast

Boy why are you so paws??

hollowedskin:

creatures-in-posts:

jaycethetherian:

caats:

@creatures-in-posts

This creature is a sopping wet beast

Boy why are you so paws??

hollowedskin:

creatures-in-posts:

jaycethetherian:

caats:

@creatures-in-posts

This creature is a sopping wet beast

Boy why are you so paws??

littleguysdaily:

Dude, get a new profession

what-even-is-thiss:

what-even-is-thiss:

what-even-is-thiss:

cheddar-baby:

The US having an entire city in the middle of the desert dedicated entirely to gambling sounds like a thing other countries would make up about the US as a joke but its real and no one bats an eye at it

They also do divorce

You know I held myself back from going off on an infodump about the history of divorce in Las Vegas for the sake of this joke but the amount of people reblogging this version from me and not getting my history based joke about how divorce was important in shaping the economy is Las Vegas is driving me a little bit crazy

The people want an explanation so an explanation I shall give.

Basically Nevada used to be like. Nowhere. Even more nowhere than it is now. They broke several rules when they made it a state actually because the population wasn’t big enough to justify it but they wanted Lincoln to get more electoral college votes or something. I dunno.

Point is, there’s not much in Nevada. Sure, there’s silver mines. There’s local tribes who are pretty cool. There’s wildlife. There’s some neat mountains. Not much water though and water is needed for most industries and large scale civilization.

This vast emptiness ended up making Nevada what it is today though mostly because of crime. It’s hard for the feds to stop your crime when you’re surrounded by a whole lot of nothing. Is the state and federal government gonna trek through the Nevada desert to scold you? I don’t think so.

Local governments today in Nevada can often trace themselves directly back to criminal organizations and corrupt groups of politicians, including the city of Las Vegas and the very large unincorporated community of Paradise which is actually where the Las Vegas strip is. Why is Paradise, Nevada still an unincorporated community despite having over 180,000 residents? Because if there’s no city government that’s one less government entity your casino has to pay taxes to. Duh.

And these crime people and casino owners and easily bribable politicians despite their many problems did figure something out. Tourists like doing things that are illegal in other places. Californian tourists in particular. And one of the illegal things that all Americans really but especially Californians wanted to do was get divorced.

Around 1930 Nevada became one of the first states to make no-fault divorce legal. Not only that but the required waiting period became six weeks. Not only that but only one spouse had to live in Nevada for those six weeks. To this day, the waiting period for divorce in California is still six months. This was huge.

This becomes a whole industry. Not only is gambling legal in Nevada but now divorce is too. When a couple decide mutually that they want a divorce but there’s no legal reason for it where they live, one of them, usually the woman, goes to live in a resort in Las Vegas or Reno for six weeks (often called a divorce ranch) and then they can get divorced.

And while one or both spouses are there, they can gamble, get pampered, see entertainment, meet other people. Then they go home after their divorce and tell their friends all about it. Now all their friends know that there’s gambling and entertainment in Vegas. And now they know about the divorce ranches. More money in the Nevadan economy.

Las Vegas is a bright shining tax evasion island in the middle of the desert built on entertainment, gambling, crime, and divorce. God bless Nevada and god bless no-fault divorce.

sealsdaily:

charlottan:

charlottan:

love it when a nondog baby animal is called a pup anyway

hi dogys

wuppies ☝️

byjove:

byjove:

I love r/malelivingspaces. You’ll go from something that looks like the interior of a prebuilt house in TS4 base game to something that looks like Oscar Wilde decorated it to something that looks like a wall to wall white jail cell.

I generally love the atmosphere of that subreddit. Update post from the wall to wall white jail cell guy to show us he got a single greige couch and everyone is like “yayyyy good job buddy, maybe a rug too? or a bookcase?”

dorkichiban:

triviallytrue:

ALT

View on Twitter

people who don’t follow chess I promise this post is really funny

Karpov had cemented his position as the world’s best player and world champion by the time Garry Kasparov arrived on the scene. In their first match, the World Chess Championship 1984 in Moscow, the first player to win six games would win the match. Karpov built a 4–0 lead after nine games. The next 17 games were drawn, setting a record for world title matches, and it took Karpov until game 27 to gain his fifth win. In game 31, Karpov had a winning position but failed to take advantage and settled for a draw. He lost the next game, after which 14 more draws ensued. Karpov held a solidly winning position in Game 41, but again blundered and had to settle for a draw. After Kasparov won games 47 and 48, FIDE President Florencio Campomanes unilaterally terminated the match, citing the players’ health. Karpov is said to have lost 10 kg over the course of the match. The match had lasted an unprecedented five months, with five wins for Karpov, three for Kasparov, and 40 draws.

okay, yeah this is pretty funny

mayorgearsolid:

dangerous-acid-heritage-posts:

mayorgearsolid:

thatsoup:

mayorgearsolid:

mayorgearsolid:

thecornmans:

tsunglasses:

mayorgearsolid:

mayorgearsolid:

It’s hydrofluoric acid friday!

Give it up for hydrofluoric acid!!!!!!!

No cheering for this dangerous cunt. Pour it on the floor for fireworks.

isnt hydrofluoric the shit that seeps into your skin and melts your bones from the inside?

Yes!

Hydrofluoric acid is a major health risk. Contact exposure at 1% concentration can put you in the hospital.

Low concentrations of hydrofluoric acid can permeate the skin easily and is lipophilic. The fluorine ions will react rapidly with the calcium in your bones and blood causing huge amounts of problems.

If you are exposed to hydrofluoric acid immediately rinse the area with clean water for at least 15 minutes. After you must apply calcium gluconate gel to the area until such time that you arrive at a hospital.

Yes! On the morning of June 21st 2019 at 4 AM a pipe carrying hydrocarbon gas and hydrofluoric acid burst in the alkylation unit of the Philadelphia Energy Solutions refinery. The leak began to evaporate filling the room area with a flammable and corrossive fog. The ground hugging vapor was about 10 feet high. Within minutes on site staff activated the Rapid Acid Deinventory system which safely isolated 339,000 pounds of hydrofluoric acid. However, when the staff attempted to activate fire suppression systems they failed to activate. An operator attempted to start the water pumps manually but deemed it too hot and hazardous to attempt. At 4:15 AM the first explosion occurred, and two more explosions followed at 4:19 and 4:23 AM. Fragments of the refinery systems were launched into the air including a 38,000 pound fragment that flew all the way across the Schuylkill river. Five people were injured and nobody was killed.

The resulting fire took a full 24 hours to put out. The oil refining capacity of the United States dropped by 2% and PES filed for bankruptcy a month later.

Signal Word: Danger

Hazard Statements: H280, H300, H310, H314, H330

Precautionary Statements: P260, P262, P264, P270, P271, P280, P284, P301+P310, P301+P330+P331, P302+P350, P303+P361+P353, P304+P340, P305+P351+P338, P310, P320, P321, P322, P330, P361, P363, P403+P233, P405, P410+P403, P501

Dangerous Acid Heritage Post!

Hydrofluoric acid update!

Reddit - Dive into anything

You cannot neutralize hydrofluoric acid with drain cleaner!!! Do not even think of using drain cleaner for anything other than its intended use.

If you find a product in your home containing hydrofluoric acid call your local environmental protection agency. Make it their problem!

heystephen:

heystephen:

someone referred to my puppy as a ‘little blob of whipped cream with caramel drizzle’ and now i cant see him as anything else

no difference

hychlorions:

generally you shouldn’t write run-on sentences because they get confusing and it doesn’t give the reader a break. that doesn’t apply to me though my run-on sentences are fun and understandable and they have a rhythm to it that makes you want to keep reading

awaggaa:

talesfromtreatment:

wimpud:

talesfromtreatment:

I… I don’t think the patient’s weight got entered correctly. Just a hunch

please, my dog, he is sick

Every single note and comment is comedy gold and I’m wheezing from laughing so hard

magical-bear-dubin:

what-even-is-thiss:

heartseeker:

“kill them with kindness” Wrong. CURSE OF RA 𓀀 𓀁 𓀂 𓀃 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀇 𓀈 𓀉 𓀊 𓀋 𓀌 𓀍 𓀎 𓀏 𓀐 𓀑 𓀒 𓀓 𓀔 𓀕 𓀖 𓀗 𓀘 𓀙 𓀚 𓀛 𓀜 𓀝 𓀞 𓀟 𓀠 𓀡 𓀢 𓀣 𓀤 𓀥 𓀦 𓀧 𓀨 𓀩 𓀪 𓀫 𓀬 𓀭 𓀮 𓀯 𓀰 𓀱 𓀲 𓀳 𓀴 𓀵 𓀶 𓀷 𓀸 𓀹 𓀺 𓀻 𓀼 𓀽 𓀾 𓀿 𓁀 𓁁 𓁂 𓁃 𓁄 𓁅 𓁆 𓁇 𓁈 𓁉 𓁊 𓁋 𓁌 𓁍 𓁎 𓁏 𓁐 𓁑 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆

This is just Gardiner’s sign list of Egyptian Hieroglyphics A1-B2 with a couple of repeats thrown in at the end. You’ve thrown a vocabulary list at us.

“Kill them with kindness” Wrong. CURSE OF CEASAR

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z S P Q R

depsidase:

the1handsomeboy:

oneheadtoanother:

Listening and learning

mrsterlingeverything:

akashicrecord:

This is cheaper than journaling when you think about it

We pay in other ways

guooey:

New bunny just dropped (prairie chicken)

tempered-grace:

hellsitegenetics:

a curious new kind of scam

OH I GOT THESE GUYS TOO

they’re definitely after personal info, and it goes pretty deep as far as i i can tell. like telegram channel, multiple people/accounts involved, and they pull from other people they have scammed. I played along for a little while, then noped out when they wanted a video of me swearing a pledge and talked about in-person meetings.

Truly a wild scam

effemimaniac:

oliviawebsite:

would you hit the blunt if it had christian baby ashes in it?

I wouldn’t hit it otherwise #DarkWoke

gattmammon:

spaceafrx:

siezureinabag:

themutantgene:

out-there-on-the-maroon:

adios-toreadork:

glumshoe:

cipherface:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

Art forgery is the best crime tbh. It requires absolutely incredible artistic talent, technical skill, and attention to detail to make convincing fakes. Does anyone get hurt from it? No! The only people who suffer for it are the extremely wealthy who want the prestige of having original paintings in their own homes. It’s full of international intrigue and mystery. Perfect.

Also… art forgers like van Meegeren sometimes become a kind of folk hero. A swindler, sure, but a gentleman’s swindler.

I liked this guy’s story, Mark Landis, who conned several dozen museums into displaying his forgeries, but when the FBI came after him they couldn’t do anything because he had always given them away as donations. They said if they could have found that he’d ever taken anything in exchange they would have prosecuted him, but all he wanted was get to out of the house and meet people.

“The first painting Landis “donated” was a copy of a work by Maynard Dixon, an artist well-known for his paintings of cowboys and Indians. It started as impulse, Landis says, but then “everybody was just so nice and treated me with respect and deference and friendship, things I was very unused to — I mean, actually not used to at all. And I got addicted to it.”” And it looks like all his forgeries are done with cheap materials, like markers and Hobby Lobby frames.

Ok, but Wolfgang Beltracchi is probably one of the best Fraud Artists in the world.

His career brought him millions upon millions of dollars and lasted almost 40 years. He finally admitted to painting fraudulent art after the white paint he used came under scrutiny. 

“ Bob Simon: What do you think this Max Ernst would be worth?
Wolfgang Beltracchi: This one?
Simon: Yeah.
Beltracchi: $5 million, I think.
Simon: $5 million.  And you can do it in three days?
Beltracchi: Yeah, oh yes, yes, sure, or quicker”

-From a 60 minutes interview with Bob Simon

In The interview with Beltracchi, he said that none of his forgeries are copies, they’re all original works that the famous artists could have painted.

“Beltracchi estimates he has done 25 Max Ernsts. He is not copying an existing work. He’s painting something he thinks Ernst might have done if he’d had the time or felt like it.”
 -  The Con Artist: A multi-million dollar art scam

His wife was also in on the scam, she would dress up in old clothing and take pictures holding the paintings with old cameras to fake proof of the paintings’ ages.

At the end of the interview with Wolfgang Beltracchi he was asked if he felt he had done anything wrong, his answer was “ Yeah, I used the wrong kind of paint”

Just … the levels of con there, the fake photos and … wow. That’s incredible. 

Heroes

Also fun fact we learned in class today: Michelangelo carved a sculpture of a Roman god, broke off the arm, and then buried it. The sculpture was dug up and was considered to be an authentic Roman artefact, until Michelangelo came along with the missing arm and called shenanigans on himself, just to prove he was as skilled a sculptor as the ancient Romans.

honestly mike? chill.

One of the fathers of art history as we know him today is Winckelmann. He was obsessed with ancient classic Greek and Roman art, and one of his biggest regrets was that while they had a lot of sculpture, authentic classical paintings were almost impossible to find (keep in mind this is the 18th century. We have barely started in Pompeii and archeology as a whole is in its infancy, so the examples were indeed very few and far between).

So he was incredibly happy when a friend of his, Anton Raphael Mengs, a respected painter in his own right, recovered an almost perfectly conserved ancient Roman painting depicting Jupiter and Ganymede. He praised the painting in the first edition of his seminal work on the art of the ancients, altho he later eliminated it due to the suspicious behaviour of one of Mengs’ collaborators, Giovanni Casanova (brother of the more famous playboy Casanova). Still, nothing really came out of those suspicions and the painting remained to be widely believed an authentic Roman painting until Anton Raphael Mengs himself, on his deathbed, revealed the truth to his sister: he had painted it then simulated finding it during an archaeological dig. Apparently he had meant it as good-natured prank but he wasn’t expecting Winckelmann to fall for it. He kept the secret as long as he could, to preserve his friend’s image as a flawless art coinnesseur, but the guilt was eating at him so much and Winckelmann was dead now so he decided he needed to unburden his soul before he left this earth.

I love this story because it reveals the very fundamental truth that no matter how much of an expert you are, you can still make mistakes.

honestloverboy:

teleportzz:

fake dating trope but they don’t become a real couple at the end. character is just like “wow thanks so much buddy that was a really nice and helpful thing of you to do for me and i really feel like our friendship has grown through this experience” and thats the end of it. godbless

boycritter:

the idea that people have romantic attraction to people who aren’t their friends is so weird to me. i dont even know if i like you as like a person why would i want to play boyfriends with you

hoodedjelly:

caught up on this series again

a-kind-of-medicine:

Watching polycules form in real time is like watching an earthquake and a tsunami strike at the same location

unpeeled-human:

tickles me pink when you get a quest to kill ghosts in an rpg. like yeah this massive broadsword is gonna do just fine against these things.no rites no helping them move on just fucking cleaving them in twain

roskvawinther:

tekkenjournalist:

This is how 16 year old tumblr users take criticism

supreme-leader-stoat:

Gameplay Tip: You can use the right-hand lever attached to your steering wheel to signal before you turn or change lanes, helping you avoid damage.