the original got flagged with no way to appeal it when every contributor is deactivated but I will never let this post die. it’s monday and we are getting on it cunts
youve been fooled………………by the april fools beeper……………..it was a fully grown bird the entire time…..no egg………………it tells u it hopes u hav a good april 1st
Once on IMDB I saw a “goof” which was that during a scene set in India(?), the light flicker was at the wrong frequency (in hertz). I wish I knew what movie it was to show you guys, I want to say it was some Marvel shit.
I always wondered how this person knew that. Was there an amazing Indian electrician who just instinctively felt the flicker rate was off? Did they go frame by frame and count the flickers per second?
Reminder: you can always just stop hating and being an asshole. You’ll probably even feel better about yourself.
I am 100% there for people who stop being an asshole.
To be honest they usually make the best allies because they’ve fucking learned how to unlearn toxic beliefs and behaviors. And they’re usually good at a) nonviolent conflict resolution and b) other means of conflict resolution.
For a groundbreaking investigation, retired navy commander Joseph Dituri was required to submerge himself for more than three months. Researchers sought to understand the impact of submerged life in a pressurised environment on the human body. And guess what? After spending more than three months submerged in the Atlantic Ocean, scientists were astounded to discover that Dituri had become “ten years younger” when he emerged from his little pod.
Following diagnostic evaluations, it was discovered that Dituri’s telomeres—the DNA caps at the ends of chromosomes that normally shorten with age—had grown 20% longer than they had three months prior.
In addition, his stem cell count had increased and his general health had undergone a dramatic metamorphosis. Dituri also reported better-quality sleep. His inflammatory indicators decreased by half, and his cholesterol plummeted by 72 points. According to medical professionals, the underwater pressure—which is recognized to have several health benefits—caused these alterations. Dituri subsequently discussed the need for these kinds of encounters.
“One of these locations that are isolated from outside activities is what you need. The British newspaper Daily Mirror cited him as stating, “Send people down here for a two-week vacation, where they can get their feet scrubbed, relax, and experience the benefit of hyperbaric medicine.” He said that his metabolism had also significantly improved.
Work vacuum died. This is the fifth one since I started working here five years ago.
The first one died because my coworker vacuumed up rocks.
The second one died because my coworker vacuumed up rocks.
The third one died because my coworker vacuumed up rocks.
The fourth one died for unknown reasons that involved my coworker vacuuming up rocks.
The fifth one died a few minutes ago and it was a big mystery and my coworker was like “oh I don’t know what happened it just overtaxed for some reason” so I looked inside the hose and—get this—it was jammed with rocks.
He keeps buying bigger and more expensive vacuums and complaining about how shitty and faulty the last ones were and every time I suggest something like “what if you didn’t vacuum up rocks” he’s like oh no it is the vacuums who are wrong.
My one friend group can’t stop saying, “See you in hell!” in a cheerful voice instead of, “Talk to you later!” and my other friend group can’t stop calling things “penis” instead of “cool” or “good”, so I just unironically uttered the phrase, “Sounds penis, see you in hell,” as I got off the phone.
I think everyone should be doing this btw. Maybe, “Sounds penis, see you in hell,” could be our, “Always.”
I tried to quote this post to my housemate the other day but botched it so said “nice cock, kill yourself” and now it’s turned into a call and response so instead of saying goodbye one of us says nice cock and the other tells you to kill yourself
Technically they’re using it for bandages. For now.
Quote from the article
The resulting “nanopasta” can then be spun into a tiny mat about 2 centimetres across. While it isn’t intended as food, Clancy says that it should be safe to eat, but is reticent to talk about having tried it. “It’s an ethical quandary to talk about scientific self-experimentation,” he says. “But, hypothetically, one might expect it to be chewier than you’d expect.”
Oh he’s definitely eating it
scientists are in labs right now creating the thinnest and worst material known to mankind so they can surreptitiously eat it
love it when you look up a word’s pronunciation and only get the formal Linguist zalgotext-style version. like damn i guess i’m not using that word.
once you work out IPA you can experience this feeling with the second, weirder layer of IPA where people try to describe not the sounds people believe they’re making but the ones that they “actually” make
We know that Facebook is brainscorching your parents and tiktok is brainscorching your cousins, but some of you refuse to admit that you got your brain scorched here. However unlike those sites there isn’t an algorithm here you just make bad choices.
That’s all we ever wanted. To arrive at Hell as a result of our own dubious navigation skills instead of as the result of Satan owning all the road sign companies.
why do people listen to so much music how do you have the attention span for that
like when i listen to music and i like a song i need to immerse myself in that song. i listen to it so many times until i get enough out of it. i consume the song. i put it in a blender and then drink it.
“I wish movies weren’t so bad anymore.” Stop supporting bad movies. Stop going to see bad movies. Stop giving money to bad movies, stop “hate watching” just let them die a slow death of sheer disinterest and fade out from the cultural psyche. We cannot keep letting this shit happen it’s literally killing the industry. Be the change you want to see.
i can’t say what i want to say because my tumblr blog is important to me.
yes this is a real tweet
dream rolls worst april fools tweet, asked to leave the general online sphere and find a job at walmart and drop off the face of the earth. and if possible throw that misogynist with the personality of a soggy expired milk carton that he calls a best friend into a river while hes at it
chat i understand expecting the worst after years of dsmp but if you ever worry about this potentially being real i want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that, if no one else, tommy tubbo and quackity would not rather kill themselves than participate in anything orchestrated by dream again
would like to add my favorite reply to the original tweet
you say “weeds” I say “widespread non-native edible plant and early-blooming pollinator resource that is not considered invasive because it behaves politely and does not cause deleterious ecological consequences”
The dandelions aren’t gonna fuck you bro
they have and they will
dandelions deserve more respect than they get you say “weeds” I say “widespread non-native edible plant and early-blooming pollinator resource that is not considered invasive because it behaves politely and does not cause deleterious ecological consequences”
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