oh this collar? no no it’s not a sex thing, yeah it’s not really for fashion either. yeah no it keeps my head attached. yeah my head? it’s detached? yeah no it falls right off if i don’t wear the collar, huge pain in the ass. the jingle bell is a sex thing though.
i personally think that luigi mangione is innocent and so anyway i hope he becomes the first person to become a millionaire solely through legal payouts from all of this Actual Libel
it fucks me up that tolkien only died in 1973. dude has the vibe of a victorian scholar who wrote all his manuscripts by candlelight but then you look him up and realise that he knew what color tv was. what the fuck.
“Shouldn’t the man who invented the iPhone own his own creation?”
An explanation by anti-capitalist brad pitt.
“Mazzucato lists twelve crucial technologies that make smartphones “smart”: (1) microprocessors;(2) memory chips; (3) solid state hard drives; (4) liquid crystal displays; (5) lithium-based batteries;(6) fast Fourier transform algorithms; (7) the internet; (8) HTTP and HTML protocols; (9) cellular networks; (10) Global Positioning Systems (GPS); (11) touchscreens; and (12) voice recognition. Every last one was supported by the public sector at key stages of development.”
Leigh Phillips and Michal Rozworski, The People’s Republic of Walmart
“A critical history of technology would show how little any of the inventions [..] are the work of a single individual.”
–Karl Marx, Capital
[Video caption for original post: screenshot of a comment that reads “So you’re saying the man who created the iPhone and made the whole thing possible, shouldn’t own his creation?”
The response by Cody Taffet (@thetranscending) on TikTok, spoken, is as follows.]
I’m not trying to ridicule anybody; I think life is hard enough as it is. But I really want to use this comment as a reference, because this type of ‘great man’ sort of Ayn-Randian idea is really pervasive and insidious.
Y'all - “a man” did not “invent” the iPhone, okay? Smartphone technology is the result of teams of people working together over many decades: liquid crystal technology; transistor technology… all of these technologies that we associate with capitalism and innovation - they were developed in the public sector, mainly by underpaid and overworked researchers funded by public grants.
Lots of these cool technologies that we enjoy are just the result of human beings working together and making cool shit - not “great” ingenious white men who, like, then deserve all the money, or something. So yeah, food for thought.
let’s hear it for the people who have been denied autonomy so long they are now incapable of exercising it. do any beautiful women want to literally own me like a dog.
it turns out if you spend your entire childhood shepherded from one task to another by adults, then you’ll be entirely lost once they stop doing that one day, and making online purchases will fill you with a dread usually felt only by soldiers in trench warfare
me: hehe…. so do they. you know. do…. what do they.. do they use it…. ohh… do they… is it…….. do you think they…. hehe…. well, uh….. hehe…. so.. so.. so when they………… when they…. uh…. heh…… when they, uh…. when they……….. sometimes, do they……. with their…… with their robotic hand, do they.. use it to…. to…. ahehehe… do OH god do they fucking…. have they tried…… maybe….. have they tried, y’know…. you know……… have they, like…. uh…………. like, have they……………….. have they…………………………. well………………………………………………………………… you know…………………………………. have they used it to……………………………………………………………. you know…………………..
I had never considered this as a possibility. I always thought the machine had to be a separate entity, solely built for jerking. You’ve given me something significant to think about here, thank you.
Had the crazy liberal socialist left gone too far this time?
It seems that some people just can’t accept the reality.
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, a self described “militant communist”, believed that she could take the law into her own hands. Using a loophole leftover from the fine print of the Affordable Care Act, she was able to turn the Death Panels into hit squads.
Her target? Honest, hardworking men with their pleasure bots.
The economy was surging, the Impeachment Hoax completely backfired, and they were heading into what would be another decisive electoral victory for the party of Lincoln.
Their message failed to resonate with the majority of voters, and their “old-boys-club” mentality meant that their presidential nominee was a complete dud.
It didn’t help that Joe Biden followed the Democratic principle of not receiving hand relief on a regular basis. As a result, his mental speed was very slow, and he often had difficulty putting together coherent sentences.
Joe was so backed up and foggy-brained going into the final debate, that when he saw his opponent’s hand, he immediately grew erect. The thought of a hand on his member made him silently salivate.
For the rest of the election cycle, Joe couldn’t get it out of his head. Every interview he did found him bumbling through muddled points. He needed an outlet, but was unable to find one.
If only he had invested in a pleasure bot, he could have had it all. The smooth, cool plastic hands would have brought him to the edge over and over, and the biometric feedback scanners would have custom tailored a jerk for him each time. With long-life lithium-ion batteries, he could have been getting jerked so right, all night long.
Random fact: They did a study on courtship and mating behavior of American alligators at the St. Augustine Alligator Farm in the early 1980’s. This study revealed that, among other things, the majority of alligator sex is gay
Male/male 1 is when the larger male gator topped, male/male 2 is when the smaller male topped
Random fact: They did a study on courtship and mating behavior of American alligators at the St. Augustine Alligator Farm in the early 1980’s. This study revealed that, among other things, the majority of alligator sex is gay
Male/male 1 is when the larger male gator topped, male/male 2 is when the smaller male topped
the fact that pro-monarchy arguments have degenerated, over the past few centuries, from “the king rules by divine right and is accountable to nobody but god”, to “uhm the royals generate a lot of income from tourism” will never stop being extremely funny to me
the monarchs… bad. but the castles? oh, the castles are positively lush with rats… 👅
A drawing showing how Jim Henson Performed Kermit in The Muppet Movie’s swamp scene.
This is the best picture I could find of how they customized the Studebaker so Fozzie could appear to drive the car. They crammed the real driver in the trunk. I think he was driving from a video monitor.
all goofing aside I genuinely don’t understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene™ is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you’re willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I’m not even saying you can’t enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.
Isn’t Lady Gaga bisexual?
yes that is indeed why she’s on the list of famous women who like women
why have multiple people reblogged this with some horse-assed “um actually most of these people are bi or pan” did I fucking stutter I said they like girls. what is your point. I’m going to kill you.
POV: you make a good post and then encounter tumblr reading comprehension
btw to just clarify for anyone who sees this reblog of this post
op is basically saying something along the lines of “yea ik taylor swift is bi but like. why is she y'all’s only lgbtq+ pop icon when there are all these other lgbtq+ people in the pop scene???”
i might have worded this badly but hopefully i got the main point across
hi op here I certainly did not fucking say Taylor Swift is bi
Op is saying that liking Taylor for being QUEER or Lgbtqia+ is not a bad thing, but to also know she is not the only one.
He did not call anyone in the original post lesbian bi or pan.
op: carrots are not fruits. raspberries and apples and blueberries and pears and lingonberries are fruits. i’m not saying you can’t enjoy carrots but why would you hang all your fruitsalad hopes on it
idiot 1: aren’t raspberries berries?
op: yes that is indeed why it’s on the list of fruit
op: why have multiple people reblogged this with “umm actually most of these are berries”. did i fucking stutter i said they’re fruits. i’m going to kill you
idiot 2: btw just to clarify op is saying “yeah i know carrots are a fruit but there are other fruits too”
op: where in the sweet mary mother of cunt did i say that carrots were a fruit
idiot 3: op is saying that liking carrots for being fruits isn’t a bad thing, but to also know they are not the only fruit
op:
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ga a t a a ga
t: : cat a t t. a a a a a a a g a t. ’ t ag ca’t cat t ag a taa t t : a’t a ? : tat t’ t t t : a t gg t t “ acta t t a ”. cg ttt a t’ t. ’ gg t t : t t t ca ag “a cat a a t t t a t t t” : t t a t ct a tat cat a t t : ag tat g cat g t ’t a a tg, t t a t a t t t :
Closest match: Pyrausta purpuralis genome assembly, chromosome: 22 Common name: Common Purple & Gold
just once I want to see a good post critiquing makeup culture that doesn’t turn out to be made by some janky radfem blog
oh hey!! I’m not a janky radfem I can do it myself!
makeup culture is wack and normalizes a ludicrously high bar as the bare minimum women can do. I saw a “lazy"makeup tutorial the other day that listed 22 separate goddamn products. you’re supposed to buy and know how to use 22 different things on your face just for the privilege of being considered lazy and that’s uuuuuuh what’s the word? bullshit.
Really, five products could work, even 3. Just frame the face, eyes, lips, and you’re done.
0 products also works great
because I’m gonna be real here, the idea that 22 products is a minimum sucks but it’s really upsetting that any amount of makeup is the bare minimum at all
I would really just suggest some powder foundation, concealer, mascara and lipgloss/lipstick, or tbh just mascara works too, but that’s up to you
I’m sorry if I didn’t express this clearly enough in the original post but I’m not really looking for more concise makeup regiments. my intention was to point out how it’s Bad that makeup is considered a bare minimum at all, regardless of individual feelings on the matter
no face should be “required” to have “a minimum” of makeup. makeup has no health benefits and does nothing but fill the pockets of companies that prey on women and our insecurities.
makeup should not be seen as hygiene because it isnt. get that shit out of your head.
this post: makeup culture is ridiculous and 22 products should not be considered a minimum requirement for someones face. no one should have to do that
the notes: so like……. what youre saying is……. we need to make the minimum about 5 or 6 instead… i gotcha
Really the only makeup you need is eyeliner but that’s just my personal opinion
This is making the rounds on BlueSky, but I haven’t seen it here yet.
Twitter is rolling out a “Recreat this with Grok” button directly on images now when you open them. Also, some people have experience their artwork getting labeled as ‘made with Grok’
I understand why some people have tried to stay but, please at the very least start transitioning your work to other places so at the very least you have a exit without hurting your finances too much.
Twitter is only going to become more hostile towards artists. It’s full of poison and it’s only a matter of time before it fully erodes.
i heard some people claimed their art was by grok to get around this
i think the secret to asking Smart Person questions is to take a dumb question and keep making it dumber until you can’t anymore
Interesting theory. Do you have an example?
Okay but if it doesn’t work you cant make fun of me
Step one: Get stupid
Which foot does my left shoe go on?
Which shoe is the left shoe?
Which side is left?
What is “Left”?
Does “Left” exist?
Step two: Double down (Concepts get too simple for normal words so longer words are needed)
Who decides whether something is on the left or on the right?
If I say something is on my left and six people facing me say it’s actually on the right, is it left or right?
Can the objective value of two subjective realities outweigh one?
Can one subjective experience with no objective value become more reliable than another if it gains prominence?
Does believing in a subjective truth make it real?
If a single subjective reality becomes accepted among the majority, should I align my perspective to that reality to facilitate the mechanics of the universally subjective experience?
Step three: Apply it to real life
If we agree as a society to adhere to a system of universal subjectivity in pursuit of productivity, prioritizing function over experience, are we admitting that we value efficiency of labour over comprehension?
Step four: (Optional)
Put left shoe on right foot as a public demonstration against capitalist greed
jesse. bi lesbians are problematic jesse. i saw it in a carrd jesse.
yo mr white i think you’re spending too much time on twitter bitch
jesse. im gonna need you to dni jesse.
yo mr white i thought you were supportive of all identities bitch
jesse. i am supportive of all identities jesse. i love queer people jesse. i just dont understand bi lesbians jesse
yo mr white i think you’re being an exclustionist right now bitch
jesse. my twitter moot says bi lesbians dni. jesse that means you’re identitty isnt valid jesse
yo mr white. saying you support all queer labels and identities while also setting specific labels aside that you deem problematic isn’t supportive whatsoever and all that you’re doing is allying yourself with conservatives bitch
still mad about smart TVs. that shit should be in a separate box like you can literally buy one of them androidtv boxes for £30. it doesn’t need its own ip address it doesn’t need its own app store it doesn’t need to replicate the functionality every device plugged into it already has
Smart TVs are one of the great evils of the modern era tbh. If I wanted spyware on my TV I should have to download it myself
i keep promising myself i won’t become another technophobe yelling about those “dang newfangled machines” or whatever. that i won’t Get Worse until going back to punchcards unironically seems like a good idea. that i’ll enjoy new things as they come out.
but so much is actively evil, hostile or otherwise enshittified. i don’t want to track my greebles with splorp i don’t want to pay a teehee subscription to get round cacophany’s file limits i don’t need 17 ways to skrimple my scronk 7 of which secretly activate scrungly plus ultimate i don’t need to link it to my flowolf account i don’t want to manage it with the flowby mowby i don’t care if poob does or does not has it for me. i don[’t care
i want a big screen whose ENTIRE job is to show me whatever device i plug into it. and also audio. i want to save my documents. on the computer. that i’m using. i want to own the media i buy. i want tech that is fat, properly cooled, simpler, serviceable by a normal person, and not forcing me to constantly select the “onlly spy on me a little bit” box every couple weeks.
My fellow American hobby bakers, demoralized by egg prices and scarcity and how you will make the American apple pie or the chocolate chip cookie, fear not. I have spent many years turning regular baking recipes vegan for my corrupt and traitorous sister who last week ate a salmon cream cheesed roll. There are many, many substitutes for eggs including but not limited to:
Mashed banana: best added to compliment flavors of whatever it is you’re baking (peanut butter, chocolate) make sure it’s MUSHY and ripe
Apple sauce: again, best with complimentary flavors (cinnamon, brown sugar) use unsweetened and have the rest as a snack
The big boy champ, ground flaxseed: flavorless, though it does darken your batter/ dough a bit. Bags found next to cornstarch and almond meal, etc. Instructions on how to use right on the bag! Make sure to let the flaxseed water combo sit in a separate bowl until it has the consistency of mucus 👍
Now with all of these you MUST add a bit more leavener, they don’t have the lil bit of lift eggs give, so make sure you add a touch more baking powder. Sort of ok for brownies and cookies if you want them a bit more dense but KEY for cakes, quick breads, muffins and other things like that or she is gonna be SQUIDGY 🫡
I’ve got one that works very well in most cookies, cakes, muffins, quickbreads, and similar. It came out of the Student’s Vegetarian Cookbook circa 2004,and I’ve been using it when baking for friends who are vegan, have egg allergies, or just when I’ve run out of eggs ever since.
Ingredients (per egg you’re replacing)
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
2 tbs flour (gluten free flour blends work just fine)
3 tbs water
Combine dry ingredients in small bowl. Add water. Stir well and not be alarmed when it fizzes up. Add it to the thing you are baking immediately – do not make in advance.
there’s an extremely niche plot in romance fiction wherein our invariably heterosexual leads fall in love after a night of passion leads to an unplanned pregnancy and they’re now bound together by an impending child. I cast no judgment on anyone who enjoys this, but since I’m an evil gay and this is my personal nightmare scenario I want to see a zany romance novel premised on the opposite resolution: a couple falls in love while on a whirlwind roadtrip to obtain a legal abortion
“oh but along the way they realize they actually do want to raise the child together and ultimately keep the baby” no actually they successfully get the abortion and then they get chili dogs or something
neither of them want kids and it’s not because they’re immature or selfish or afraid of commitment or irresponsible or whatever, they just don’t want to be parents and that’s not a flaw they overcome. obviously they have other issues because there has to be some kind of arc to this story but deciding to keep a pregnancy that was unplanned and unwanted isn’t the solution.
some of you are very determined for this to not be a romance, to which I politely say shut the fuck up and get out of my sandbox. these idiots are going on an abortion roadtrip and they are falling in love on the way so help me god.
I genuinely am floored by how hard of a time people are having with the very simple premise “two characters go on a roadtrip to get an abortion and fall in love with each other”
each other. each other each other each other. a person who is pregnant and the person who got them pregnant fall in love with each other on the way to terminate the pregnancy.
there’s something about all the “okay, but what about this unexpected twist!” replies that is pinging weirdly on my brain and I think it’s like…
the point of the ‘twist’ in storytelling is that you’re maintaining interest or raising the states by subverting a baseline state. taking something expected and doing the unexpected with it.
but the scenario as OP describes it, where two people enter in a romance but don’t want and take steps not to have kids, is… not a baseline. this doesn’t happen in media. in all standard instances it’s either they aren’t in love OR they are in love and decide to have the kid. the notion of people wanting to be romantically involved but not wanting kids, the notion of seeing abortion as desirable/necessary healthcare, that already IS the subversion.
the original premise doesn’t need to be spiced up with an Unexpected Twist because it is the unexpected twist. and it’s not going to be boring or played our or cliched until there’s a dozen stories like it and the idea of un-dramatically going to get a healthcare procedure done with someone who loves you is normalized.
i hate to go ummmm, actually - but, ummmm, actually, the movie you’re looking for is Obvious Child with Jenny Slate.
SPOILERS AHEAD
She’s a comedian, he is a good boy, they have a one night stand, she gets pregnant but she doesn’t want the baby. They start spending time together and are really into each other. She realizes that he is a great guy and that they want to be with each other. She gets her abortion on Valentine’s Day, and even though he is not happy at first, they both realize it’s for the best and he accompanies her on the day. By the end, they are together (maybe for now, maybe forever).
It’s a great comedy and the two leads have great chemistry.
where’s the road trip
In a just world with good health care, the road trip isn’t necessary
Like “going on a road trip to a pharmacy” shouldn’t be a thing. If they have time to fall in love on the way to the abortion provider, medical treatment is too far away
(Though i concede roadtrip tropes are fun)
okay, in a just world that’s true. in the world and country where I actually live, many people do not have easy access to abortion services. in the US there are in fact many people who would have to drive pretty far to get an abortion. hence the plot I’m pitching here.
Where’s the OP of the “no make up” post. We have found someone who has suffered as they suffered.
ALT
ALT
ALT
