i sometimes like characters that fucking suck. when a character is a shit head in just the right way it can be so funny and/or compelling. like this is my beloved character, Asshole The Hater. they suck and i love them. someone dropped them into a ditch on the side of the road and i picked them out of the ditch and put them in my pocket
Starting to think we told children that The Fair Folk were out there to trap you in twisted words and doublespeak and clever traps that take what you say and turn it against you for cruel and mischievous purposes just to drive home the importance of critical thinking and analytical skills
If we don’t start putting funding back into the education system I’m gonna invent a creepy pasta that steals your face if you can’t recognize media bias
I was gonna make a guy for the bit but I just realized “guy who kills people who can’t interpret elaborate or figurative language” is just The Riddler
long distance mutuals <- used to be in the same fandom together and have both moved on to other fandoms but stay mutuals and wave at each other when passing by (scrolling on dash) and catch up when we can (liking each others posts)
crazy to me that I’ve been on tumblr long enough to see the vast majority of posts i see on a daily basis evolve from superwholock and fandom shit to this
Is your refrigerator running? Then you better go catch it. Sure sounded like a good idea (“they’ll deliver themselves,”) but now it’s a huge pain in my ass. I’m a Fridge Runner.
Nobody thought of the consequences of mixing internet-of-things garbage with self-ambulatory refrigerators, until suddenly they came downstairs for breakfast and found that Belorussian crypto kings had stolen the eggs in the fridge – along with the fridge. Cops busted a warehouse yesterday that was just thousands of Maytags wandering around in a circle, beeping as their batteries ran low. Sent me out there to put them all down and bring them home.
People ask me what they can do to keep their fridge from getting jog-jacked. Really, the best thing you can do is to go find your own fridge when it decides to run an unexpected half-marathon. If you just now noticed it’s gone, it probably hasn’t gotten far. Ramming through the nearest exterior wall or window slows them down quite a bit, and they lack hands to operate fence gates. Stairs? Not great at those either, if I’m honest. Calling the technical support people to send someone like me out after it is going to take a couple extra days, minimum, and by then your entire vegetable crisper will be a write-off, even if I can catch it before it crosses the state border and becomes a legal voting citizen.
We’ve got it barely handled for now, and there is some good news. Ovens and microwaves are pretty light, so they haven’t added legs to those suckers yet. I can only imagine how many people would be having a bad morning if their gas range decided to go walkabout. They will add legs one day, though. They always do.
That’s actually a brilliant idea, even from a strict effectiveness standpoint.
Pity they got shut down.
Some examples:
Just goes to show how much data facebook/insta collect about you that gets sent to advertisers. Also facebook responded by effectively saying ‘yes we collect the data but we dont allow advertisers to say that they’re using this data’ after trying to accuse Signal of pulling a ‘PR stunt’. Facebook is so scummy.
I’m inexperienced at DIY, it’s good if the wood catches fire when you’re cutting it right
How do you even achieve that? Are u using an electric saw? The only thing I can think of is getting caught on a knot or bit of metal and doing a whole bunch of friction
I hat to trim off a bit that wasn’t worth disassembling the whole thing and using the circular saw for so I used this dinky little electric thing that I bought to cut holes in drywall. It was friction yeah.
Tooth size was probably way too small for wood, I’m assuming it was some kind of reciprocating saw? The fine-tooth blade is for metal and the coarse-tooth blade is for wood and drywall. Drywall has the handy property of not being particularly flammable so all that will happen if you use the wrong blade is that it will cut slower, but wood is both more dense and likes to be on fire more so using the wrong blade will do that.
I don’t care enough about this window I cludged together out of roofing plastic and cheap pine to go digging through the piles and piles of random shit covering the floor of my shed trying to find the other saw blades. It’ll trim down with the blade that happened to be installed and it’ll like it.
It was this thing
Dude that’s a multi tool it’s for stupid thin material and also metal. Works the same way as a cast cutter iirc
No it’s for everything because it’s the power tool that was within reach without me having to dig through piles of junk in the shed full of spiders with no functioning lights.
This is the standard winged nightjar and it has one singular stupidly big feather on each wing… if you even care.
Love this guy
That’s standard as in “pennant” or “banner”, not standard as in “normal”.
But it’s not a pennant-winged nightjar. THIS is a pennant-winged nightjar… if you even care.
can’t forget the Lyre-tailed Nightjar! there’s actually a number of these ridiculous guys, and they’re partly why caprimulgiforms are some of my favorite birds
also the Sickle-winged Nightjar, which is. come on, that’s just a weird moth
(Whispers) talk about their mouths now
ok
and if we’re going to make this onto a full-on nightjar weirdness appreciation post, I feel like I’ve got to mention their pectinate claws:
comb-shaped claws on the middle toe have evolved multiple times among a diverse variety of birds, found in nightjars, barn owls, herons, frigatebirds, and a few other groups. and despite looking exactly like they’re used for preening out feather parasites, they might have other uses for keeping birds clean that we haven’t yet identified:
One of those “we’re going to be weird about burial practices we regard as strange or exotic” horror movies, except instead of killer mummies or whatever it’s an evil smoke monster made of all the people whose ashes have been illicitly scattered at Disney World.
there is something soo real and soft about sleeping next to someone. waking up in the night and being able to snuggle closer. arms touching. it’s just so GOOD
I am on my knees begging people to understand that séxual dimorphism between what we consider girls vs boys isn’t really that different at all. A clítorís is just a mini pénís.
also I got a tattoo partially re-coloured today and they bandaged me in veterinary wrap like I’m a sick horse
Not gonna lie, that made me do a double take.
Not because of the vet wrap, it’s great stuff and I keep some at home myself for first aid purposes.
But because that colour is considered euthanasia green in a lot of vet clinics here including mine and we ONLY use it for animals we are euthanising. We will literally continue restraining a squirming dog or cat while someone restocks the drawer if we open it to find only the euthanasia green vet wrap than use this because we consider using it for a healthy patient to be a bad omen…
also I got a tattoo partially re-coloured today and they bandaged me in veterinary wrap like I’m a sick horse
Not gonna lie, that made me do a double take.
Not because of the vet wrap, it’s great stuff and I keep some at home myself for first aid purposes.
But because that colour is considered euthanasia green in a lot of vet clinics here including mine and we ONLY use it for animals we are euthanising. We will literally continue restraining a squirming dog or cat while someone restocks the drawer if we open it to find only the euthanasia green vet wrap than use this because we consider using it for a healthy patient to be a bad omen…
evening everyone. does anyone want to explain to me why i keep clocking hannah montana references in the year of our lord 2025 when i have never seen a single episode of the show? i know what it is as an abstract concept: girl with brown hair (miley cyrus) puts on blonde wig to become cool singer hannah montana which is a Secret Identity that No One Can Know About except probably her dad who’s played by her real dad and like idk perhaps her best friend? that seems like a disney thing. and i think there’s probably at least one boy is there. and the climb is involved. somehow. but that knowledge does not justify clocking a barely there reference to the song you can always find your way back home. what is wrong with me.
no but that would have added a level of spice to the show that i don’t think disney was ready for
platonic third base: when you get to know someone well enough that they start making mortifyingly specific observations about you
yesterday i was chilling with my friend and there was an ice cream van outside and every time the jingle played i’d look out the window and after the third time i did this my friend said, accurately, ‘i think you want to get ice cream but you’re scared of the ice cream man.’ devastating
USA people! Buy NOTHING Feb 28 2025. Not anything. 24 hours. No spending. Buy the day before or after but nothing. NOTHING. February 28 2025. Not gas. Not milk. Not something on a gaming app. Not a penny spent. (Only option in a crisis is local small mom and pop. Nothing. Else.) Promise me. Commit. 1 day. 1 day to scare the shit out of them that they don’t get to follow the bullshit executive orders. They don’t get to be cowards. If they do, it costs. It costs.
Then, if you can join me for Phase 2. March 7 2025 thtough March 14 2025? No Amazon. None. 1 week. No orders. Not a single item. Not one ebook. Nothing. 1 week. Just 1.
If you live outside the USA boycott US products on February 28 2025 and stand in solidarity with us and also join us for the week of no Amazon.
‘This won’t work, this isn’t widespread, nobody knows, we’re in a bubble, blah blah blah’ my mom, a 64 year old lady with no social media whose first language is spanish, told me about this before tumblr did, and said we are going to participate.
also while im waiting for my tea to steep, since im petty, and they cant fire me any more than they already have i can tell you about the Button That Makes You Lie To People because i CANNOT stop thinking about it and its driving me fucking nuts
i worked at a fancy gourmet coffee shop, but not everyone who came in knew that or cared, so we’d occasionally get ppl who got all their coffee knowledge from starbuckses. starbuckae? starbukakke
anyway sbux has this thing where they’re literally just wrong about what they call some drinks. for example, a cappuccino is traditionally a double shot of espresso with milk foam, like a few sips of drink, but at starbucks the smallest possible “cappuccino” is 8oz and espresso with that much milk? is really just a bastard latte.
but to explain that to someone who doesnt know better takes time, and there a line forming, and a latte… is close enough to what someone who thinks of a cappuccino as a 16oz drink is expecting.
so if someone asked for a “large cappuccino” we were instructed to go “okay :)”, plug in a large latte, and then, before they could see, scroll down to the secret buttons, the forbidden buttons, the deceit buttons, and press the one called “cappuccino”, in “quotes”, which would not only put a cappuccino on their receipt, but would send a message to the barista, across the room, who would then make a latte, see the pink “cappuccino” indicator, and go
“large cappuccino? :)”
and i just, like, that’s just, i love how, food is made up and not real
human goes to very hot inhabited planet to visit alien friend . heatstroke. is sent to alien hospital. they wake up to alien friend clutching their hand going “oh my god I’m so sorry I should have known better than to invite you over I forgot humans can’t tolerate such high temperatures” and the human is like “my home country on earth is hotter. this one’s on my dumb ass.” and that’s how the alien learns what South America is
alien friend is disheartened to find out that carpinchos, while friendly and well-liked, aren’t domesticated
i feel like a lot of discourse around identities could just be boiled down to “you could not pay me to care about this”
therians? this doesn’t affect me in the slightest. weird transgenders? okay who cares. contradictory labels? none of my business. neopronouns? it takes 5 seconds of my time to google how to use a pronoun set this is like minimal brain work. bi lesbians? i don’t get how that works but the world will keep spinning. normalize minding your own business
maybe i just dont have roommates but showers have never just been about the washing to me. showers to me are when you go to water world and meet the water people and have a 2 hour long adventure
thinking about how for 15 months we watch people collect fragments of their loved ones in plastic bags because of israeli bombing shredding and vaporizing human beings, and only because one of those fragments ended up being an israeli hostage is all of israel up in arms and threatening more genocide. they never faced the ugliness of their own actions, the reality of carpet bombing indiscriminately, until it was one of their own returned in fragments mixed with other people, although she was given the dignity of a coffin instead of plastic bags divided into 70kg of viscera to define a person.
i agree that collecting people in fragments is enraging. i thank israel for reminding me precisely how angry i ought to be. every human life is equal so i will make sure to remain ten orders of magnitude angrier.
“Get a rat and put it in a cage and give it two water bottles. One is just water, and one is water laced with either heroin or cocaine. If you do that, the rat will almost always prefer the drugged water and almost always kill itself very quickly, right, within a couple of weeks. So there you go. It’s our theory of addiction. Bruce comes along in the ‘70s and said, “Well, hang on a minute. We’re putting the rat in an empty cage. It’s got nothing to do. Let’s try this a little bit differently.” So Bruce built Rat Park, and Rat Park is like heaven for rats. Everything your rat about town could want, it’s got in Rat Park. It’s got lovely food. It’s got sex. It’s got loads of other rats to be friends with. It’s got loads of colored balls. Everything your rat could want. And they’ve got both the water bottles. They’ve got the drugged water and the normal water. But here’s the fascinating thing. In Rat Park, they don’t like the drugged water. They hardly use any of it. None of them ever overdose. None of them ever use in a way that looks like compulsion or addiction. There’s a really interesting human example I’ll tell you about in a minute, but what Bruce says is that shows that both the right-wing and left-wing theories of addiction are wrong. So the right-wing theory is it’s a moral failing, you’re a hedonist, you party too hard. The left-wing theory is it takes you over, your brain is hijacked. Bruce says it’s not your morality, it’s not your brain; it’s your cage. Addiction is largely an adaptation to your environment. […] We’ve created a society where significant numbers of our fellow citizens cannot bear to be present in their lives without being drugged, right? We’ve created a hyperconsumerist, hyperindividualist, isolated world that is, for a lot of people, much more like that first cage than it is like the bonded, connected cages that we need. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection. And our whole society, the engine of our society, is geared towards making us connect with things. If you are not a good consumer capitalist citizen, if you’re spending your time bonding with the people around you and not buying stuff—in fact, we are trained from a very young age to focus our hopes and our dreams and our ambitions on things we can buy and consume. And drug addiction is really a subset of that.”
“Get a rat and put it in a cage and give it two water bottles. One is just water, and one is water laced with either heroin or cocaine. If you do that, the rat will almost always prefer the drugged water and almost always kill itself very quickly, right, within a couple of weeks. So there you go. It’s our theory of addiction. Bruce comes along in the ‘70s and said, “Well, hang on a minute. We’re putting the rat in an empty cage. It’s got nothing to do. Let’s try this a little bit differently.” So Bruce built Rat Park, and Rat Park is like heaven for rats. Everything your rat about town could want, it’s got in Rat Park. It’s got lovely food. It’s got sex. It’s got loads of other rats to be friends with. It’s got loads of colored balls. Everything your rat could want. And they’ve got both the water bottles. They’ve got the drugged water and the normal water. But here’s the fascinating thing. In Rat Park, they don’t like the drugged water. They hardly use any of it. None of them ever overdose. None of them ever use in a way that looks like compulsion or addiction. There’s a really interesting human example I’ll tell you about in a minute, but what Bruce says is that shows that both the right-wing and left-wing theories of addiction are wrong. So the right-wing theory is it’s a moral failing, you’re a hedonist, you party too hard. The left-wing theory is it takes you over, your brain is hijacked. Bruce says it’s not your morality, it’s not your brain; it’s your cage. Addiction is largely an adaptation to your environment. […] We’ve created a society where significant numbers of our fellow citizens cannot bear to be present in their lives without being drugged, right? We’ve created a hyperconsumerist, hyperindividualist, isolated world that is, for a lot of people, much more like that first cage than it is like the bonded, connected cages that we need. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection. And our whole society, the engine of our society, is geared towards making us connect with things. If you are not a good consumer capitalist citizen, if you’re spending your time bonding with the people around you and not buying stuff—in fact, we are trained from a very young age to focus our hopes and our dreams and our ambitions on things we can buy and consume. And drug addiction is really a subset of that.”
every time i look for clothing it gets more depressing. you mean to tell me they don’t make booty shorts in my size? at all? even the most basic kind with a common design? really? they don’t make this? they don’t have this for me? i’m not allowed? really?
sorry to yap but holy shit this is real:
when you are fat and or pick up weight you really start to remember that the world is NOT made to consider fat people. the most fat friendly clothes are all corporate bland shit you’d throw on to go to the corner store. i realized plus sized people are never really allowed to be involved in having cutesy or alt clothing because companies and the world in general think we don’t belong here.
all the cute and fashionable stuff for fat people is mostly made by other fat people because that’s how dire it is out there. I didn’t want to hijack but it’s something I noticed too.
ALT
