taking the porn off tumblr just made us all hornier. it used to be that we’d only sexualize basic things, like human bodies. but now?? you wouldn’t believe the things my mutuals are getting off to
2016 tumblr porn: straight up just a gif of penis in vagina
2025 tumblr porn: video of someone slowly bringing a magnet to a CRT tv screen while static is playing
I got too excited while playing chess and told my opponent that I was going to slit his throat and slaughter him like a hog. something to work on for next time
in retrospect, this actually got me laid so maybe take notes
hate when people are like “trust your gut! listen to your intuition!” like okay well my gut is telling me every person i lay eyes on is hunting me for sport and my intuition is saying i should find a secluded cave and live there forever so what do you suggest i do with that information
“oh boy I sure wish there were a fast, free and private alternative to google chrome”
the humble mozilla firefox:
forgot Firefox was a web browser and thought OP meant the actual fox and was fully ready to say ‘yes I would much rather have a fox friend than Google’
Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority”
and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person”
and they think they’re being fair but they aren’t, and it’s not okay.
I just love that multiple people not only though “the black one is a princess and those are her bodyguards” but also came to the conclusion “they’re also, obviously, samurai.”
I was in a shop where someone was clearly watching the two towers in the background and I recognised it by sound alone after 2 seconds which makes me sound insane to an average person. and I could actually explain it very easily but of course trying to explain it with “well I only recognised it so fast because this specific version of the lorien theme only plays during the battle at helm’s deep” does nothing to make me sound less insane
all those terms for when you dont really like something but someone else does and you respect that… youve heard of “not my cup of tea” and “whatever floats your boat” and now its time for this phrase to shine
lars all due respect but no the fuck it isn’t
sounds like this one just isnt your fav hentai of pennywise and that’s okay
Terminal child syndrome lol sorry you’ll be infantilized forever and never get any basic respect we have the right to not treat you like an adult and make life worse for you in the name of helping, or shun you completely :)
Just stop doing that you useless cunt go the fuck outside and stop being a burden to society get the fuck up and stop having this illness. Have this list of pop psychology bullshit and get your shit together. We can still romanticize your struggle if you’re hot and manage it just well enough to not be a useless cunt
Irredeemable piece of shit disorder uh sorry but your vibe is off and you should go to jail for it I fucking hate you and you deserve nothing you vile piece of human garbage you need to be avoided at all costs everyone should cut you off immediately no one should have to put up with you you manipulative asshole
To everybody in the notes saying something along the lines of any specific disorder could be any of these three depending on how someone wants to justify mistreating the individual, you are correct. I was thinking of autism, depression and npd respectively but you’re actually right
apparently there is a YouTube shorts channel that finds funny Tumblr posts and paraphrases them/Waters them down a bit to be more advertiser friendly,
the really crazy part is the accounts shown are weirdly censored with fake names or random pfps, which one of those pfps was MY CURRENT ONE 😭!?&_
and I had to sit here and figure out if I even said that shit because of my bad memory and constant yapping.
I would not say this because there is no mention of fat furry boy boobs
I think there is something inherently funny about a YouTube shorts slop channel with an AI PFP that doesn’t even bother showing original funny posts from the original source/blogger and has given people multiple random usernames and my mutuals profiles pictures along with tweaking the original post a bit more to be “family friendly”
totally not weird or confusing that you’re profiting off of random queers who have to reblog their Kofi page every other week 💀
Conspiracy theories about “sissy hypno” are so funny to me like. Just imagine the world presented here.
It is possible to be mind controlled into completely derailing your life by videos of pink spirals on the internet.
This is the primary source of trans people.
For some reason, this is only used to make trans people.
Nobody, not one person, is exploiting this for any other end, for some reason.
Like. If this was a genuine way to influence people, literally all porn available anywhere would be telling you who to vote for in american elections and buy products.
I do like the implication that if provably successful behavior modification via subliminal pornographic messaging existed it would primarily be used for brand loyalty.
Because that’s actually 100% true, that is pretty much what most US evil boils down to and is structured around.
“You want to suck A NICE COLD COCA-COLA WITH ICE THROUGH A STRAW.”
i took my friend to Hocking Hills state park yesterday and on our hike I talked all about the (now retired) park naturalist who mentored me years ago, along with the professor who also mentored me and how they got me my first job in my field after college, like I went on and on about my memories of them and the time I spent with them in the park, and then we got to a cave and they were both inside. I hadn’t seen either of then since I moved away seven years ago and then I went back to the state park for the first time since and they were just there. in a cave. they went to the cave together. one of them saw me and said “oh hi! what are you doing here?” like hey fancy us all being here in this cave together huh.
i can’t express how much this felt like a video game cutscene encounter. i established the lore for two hours about these specific two Guys and then they appeared, like, in their map.
Have fun in the war dumbass I’ll be at home fucking military wives
Damn. Good way to get your fucking windows kicked in
shut the fuck up and raise my son bootlicker
All fun and games until someone with 3 confirmed kills shows up at your doorstep with a baseball bat
im not at my house tho, im at yours with your wife
But he’s got shooters all over the world 🌎 even when he’s away
just shot a load in his wife
You ungrateful asshole. My bf might be fighting for your freedom and you’re here mocking him for keeping your pathetic ass safe from the threats of the world. If a war comes to our country, we’re not saving you, you dumbass ungrateful fuck up of a human being.
Your bf is fighting for oil and killing civilians and probably cheating on you he’s a scumbag, which is why I just fucked his mom to make a better son
The fool taunts the hungry dogs but the dogs have their day and the fool becomes a feast
your girl boutta be the feast soon as you get deployed boot boy
World Heritage Post
Who ever was the first person to post this is the biggest piece of shit in the world. You’re an amoral ASSHOLE!!!!!
Hotmeat89 you are a disgrace you don’t deserve to be called an American! You don’t even have the right to call yourself a MAN!
I don’t call myself a man but your wife still calls me to fuck
if you have “cishet men dni” in your bio i, a trans man, will not touch you with a 10 foot pole. i should not be forced to out myself as a trans man just to interact with you. on top of that, cishet men are not inherently evil. stop trying to reinvent bioessentialism with your “girl good, boy bad!” mentality.
gryffindor - in your continued endorsement of a media franchise created by the most affluent transmisogynist of all time, you are promoting transmisogynist ideals and furthering transphobic legislation.
ravenclaw - in your continued endorsement of a media franchise created by the most affluent transmisogynist of all time, you are promoting transmisogynist ideals and furthering transphobic legislation.
hufflepuff - in your continued endorsement of a media franchise created by the most affluent transmisogynist of all time, you are promoting transmisogynist ideals and furthering transphobic legislation.
slytherin - in your continued endorsement of a media franchise created by the most affluent transmisogynist of all time, you are promoting transmisogynist ideals and furthering transphobic legislation. and you’re also a white supremacist i guess.
officially-cool youtuber Tech Tangents was working on an old Tandy machine and discovered the most hilarious quit menu in all of software, buried in an obscure astrology program for DOS:
THE “MAYBE QUIT” OPTION!
For too long, computer programs have been asking if we’re sure we want to quit, and only giving us a binary yes/no option. Finally we can leave whether we quit or not up to fate.
And yeah. When he tried it out, it failed to quit a few times and then quit. It seems it just flips a coin when you select it and either quits/does nothing based on it.
I had to get a couple of ultrasounds last year and I haven’t gotten over how this is indicated in my test results as, among other things, “cervix: unremarkable”
Yes. Unremarkable is an incredibly good thing for a medical examination to be. Nothing out of the ordinary. Everything is fine. This is good news.
But I literally CANNOT STOP laughing at “pussy: basic” being in my medical records.
donating my heavily annotated copy of house of leaves to the local library so that the person reading it gets a 5th layer of narrative to be confused by
this is problematic of me (joke) but i really enjoy the splashing of french into english speech or writing. just adds a pizzazz
*adds a certain je ne sais quoi
see the problem is that despite around 8 years of french schooling the french language has utterly escaped my brain so even the most obvious set up i had created for myself by accident was missed by me. such is life.
ALT
