[Video Description: extended tiktok/video by fettuccinefettuqueen. Multiple camera views and qualities are shown. Gabbi Bolt, a feminine musical comedian wearing a bright floral shirt, earrings, and bandana, plays a keyboard and sings under pink and blue lights on a small stage. She sings and plays a song (lyrics below). It begins slowly. Every time the Aus police are mentioned, the song gets faster and goes up a key. By the end, she is singing and playing very quickly. It ends with a flourish and applause.
Lyrics: A kindergarten teacher would only have up to F. When they looked at their curriculum to teach the alphabet. A surgeon would not yet have even touch a surgery. But 6 months, Yep, that’s all it takes to join the Aus police. A lawyer would be juggling 4 subjects on their feet, when on average there are 38 - right? - subjects to complete. They cannot yet defend, object or bargain for a plea, but meanwhile you can make arrests when you’re the Aus police. Seem fair! A first time mum is still too busy cooking up a kid. A first time architect is still drawing up a blueprint. A first time taxidermist is still fucking creepy so is the fact that in 6 months you can join the Aus police. A retail worker would still have a skerrick of their soul. The West Coast Eagles still would not have scored a single goal. Michelle has not been introduced as Child of Destiny but you can lock up kids when you work for Aus Police. The age of criminal responsibility in this country is 10. When I was 10, I couldn’t even spell criminal. A politician would’ve only fucked up 40 times and for every fuck up made, they would have told bout 40 lies. A Telstra support worker still has not got back to me but I would not have this problem if I worked for Aus police. Hands up Tesltra! It’s a raid! Fa La La La La La La La La La Firearms Mililililili Military Complex Li li li li li li li li little tiny boots! Haha! ay ay ay ay ay. All the people I know that went into this career were annoying at best … and horrifying at worst. A learner driver would still be making their mum go *pffftt*. An office worker still has not worked up two weeks in lieu. A musical comedian just has this melody. But 6 months, Yep, that’s all it takes to own a gun and make arrests and join the Aus police.
ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by Bae Guevara [communist symbol emoji] @ Kaimandante with text reading: “Why is the military "fighting for our freedoms” in Iraq & Afghanistan? How tf did our freedoms get over there?“
Below the text is an image of a Black person wearing grey sweats and a sweatshirt staring straight into the camera, hands on hips, looking unimpressed.
Below that is a screenshot of two comments from Tiktok. The first comment is by userpmdezfeo with text reading: "My dad was actually killed in the line of duty last year” with a reply below by sixthreecjj reading: “ratio”
Below that is a Twitter post by Based Savage @ BasedSavage_ with text reading: “I’ll serve crack before I serve this country” The tweet is dated 2/7/19.
ID 2: A screenshot of a Tumblr reblog by originalzipperalmondrebel with text reading: “That’s a super light story huh? My great grandfather got killed in action from a land mine to protect this country. If you don’t wanna respect the history or stand for a national anthem [grinning emoji] then leave to your peaceful home and fuck right off”
peteseeger reblogged that with text reading: “How did your great grandpa stepping on a landmine protect this country”
Now what would happen if a homeless quilt was made by someone who actually cared about homeless people?
Meet former ad designer Willie Baronet.
Baronet is an artist who talks to homeless people and buys their signs from them for $20 a pop, if they’re willing to sell. He uses the signs in art exhibits to educate the privileged and point them to ways they can help, and to humanize homeless people and tell them they matter.
One sign at a time, Baronet makes a statement to help people with $20 in their hand and a voice that rings across the nation saying “I’m here.”
So not only did they take the small, hand-made signs away from homeless people but instead of just tossing them, they kept them. Not only did they keep them as some kind of homeless trophy, they actually went through the time, energy, and effort (funded by tax dollars) to tape them together, pose for a picture, and post it during the holiday season.
This is why people say that there are no good cops. Because there aren’t.
ID 1: Two cops holding up a patchwork sign made of pieces of cardboard. They are smiling, looking proud. Someone has edited text onto the cardboard that says, “we do not serve or protect you. we are very blatantly a private military carrying out only the will of your capitalist ruling class. fuck you and fuck poor people.”
ID 2: The came picture in an uncropped Facebook screenshot. The text of the Facebook post says, “Wanna wish everybody in 4th precinct a Merry Christmas, especially our captain . Hope you enjoy our homeless quilt! Sincerely, Panhandler patrol.” The state that the Panhandler police force is in, and the officer names, have been redacted from the screenshot. The signs, fully visible in this version of the photo, say things like “will work”, “in need of help”, and “trying to make it, anything helps, god bless you”.
ID 3: Willie Baronet with his homeless quilt. It is similarly made of signs with pleas for help written on them, but covers most of an entire wall.
History wants so badly for Cleopatra to be beautiful. Like they can’t conceive of Rome being intimidated by anything less
because being a linguist, fleet commander, and powerful ruler doesn’t matter, only her looks
Reblogging the version without any terfs on it
here’s the picture of her face so theres no reason to reblog the terf version, esp since it talks about her lack of beauty being tied to her curly hair and hooked nose, yikes
You say “history wants to bad for Cleopatra to be beautiful” as if she isn’t already beautiful
But she is beautiful was my first reaction.
A more accurate complaint would be “modern amateur historians want so badly for Cleopatra to be conventionally beautiful by western European standards, and they want this to be the only thing about her that is remembered, and not her sharp wit and general academic prowess”
a party of adventurers that are all equally convinced that they are in completely different forms of media
the mage keeps giving smug glances in the direction they assume a camera is in. the fighter keeps getting indignant about missing attacks because of “bad dice rolls.” the rogue is doubtful that a villain is gone for good because “nobody ever stays dead in comics.” the paladin attributes fortune to “good rng.” none of them have even considered that “tumblr post” was an option
luigi mangione, the SUSPECTED (innocent until proven guilty) united healthcare shooter, has been charged with terrorism. that’s right. a man who supposedly shot ONE SINGLE PERSON is being charged with terrorism. because in america, billionaires lives matter enough that a SINGLE rich man’s death is considered a terrorist act against this country. think about that.
Did the guy who was paid to photograph Luigi Mangione perp-walking with a police escort bigger than Superman’s in the James Gunn teaser trailer intend to make him look like Jesus being hauled to the cross? During Christmas week?
Why does every pic of this man make him look like the protagonist of a new Netflix series? Are they trying to start a cult?
Did the guy who was paid to photograph Luigi Mangione perp-walking with a police escort bigger than Superman’s in the James Gunn teaser trailer intend to make him look like Jesus being hauled to the cross? During Christmas week?
Why does every pic of this man make him look like the protagonist of a new Netflix series? Are they trying to start a cult?
shoutout to the woman from my high school martial arts class who liked to get me in joint locks and then joke about how I was easy to catch. you cannot comprehend how psychosexually formative that was for me
imagine, if you will, having an adolescent half-crush on someone way older than you, which is also confusingly blurred up with admiration of them as a role model. now imagine that you and that person are in a social environment where it is acceptable to (platonically, consensually) choke someone. I think I was very normal about it considering the circumstances
she would demonstrate takedowns on her husband (also in the class, and who was not a small man) before we got to try them and the first time I saw her twist him around and down onto the floor like it was easy my entire abdomen clenched
I cannot stress enough how eager this guy was to be manhandled (womanhandled?) and flipped around by his wife. he was her de facto guinea pig whenever she got to teach and I never saw him unenthusiastic about it. he’d set himself up for a joint lock fully smiling. the other adults in the class occasionally teased him about it (being so quick to let your wife put you in a submission hold tends to raise a few eyebrows), and I always kind of wanted to defend him but what would I have said? like, don’t worry. I won’t judge you. I also like being pinned down by your wife
That last sentance really hits ya like a psychosexually formative takedown
shoutout to the woman from my high school martial arts class who liked to get me in joint locks and then joke about how I was easy to catch. you cannot comprehend how psychosexually formative that was for me
imagine, if you will, having an adolescent half-crush on someone way older than you, which is also confusingly blurred up with admiration of them as a role model. now imagine that you and that person are in a social environment where it is acceptable to (platonically, consensually) choke someone. I think I was very normal about it considering the circumstances
she would demonstrate takedowns on her husband (also in the class, and who was not a small man) before we got to try them and the first time I saw her twist him around and down onto the floor like it was easy my entire abdomen clenched
I cannot stress enough how eager this guy was to be manhandled (womanhandled?) and flipped around by his wife. he was her de facto guinea pig whenever she got to teach and I never saw him unenthusiastic about it. he’d set himself up for a joint lock fully smiling. the other adults in the class occasionally teased him about it (being so quick to let your wife put you in a submission hold tends to raise a few eyebrows), and I always kind of wanted to defend him but what would I have said? like, don’t worry. I won’t judge you. I also like being pinned down by your wife
That last sentance really hits ya like a psychosexually formative takedown
every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt
he stole christmas, kayla! stop with your #notallgrinches propaganda!
you know what if someone told me i was a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce i’d probably be bitter enough to steal christmas too
Interestingly, though The Grinch Who Stole Christmas is narrated by Boris Karloff, the big musical number is sung by the late Thurl Ravenscroft - an American voice actor better known as the voice of Tony the Tiger.
My headcanon is that the Grinch and Tony the Tiger had a bad breakup, and “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” is the resulting breakup song.
Did this really HAVE to be the first thing I see when I opened up Tumblr?
ive been avoiding reblogging this honestly but just. What the fuck. What the fuck tumblr
I apologize to all my followers for this
if i had to read this you do too
I have a hate-hate relationship with this
………
Good grief… I’m sorry, but I can’t not reblog this…
Tis the season bitches
DAMN IT WHY WOULD YOU BRING THIS BACK YOU HEATHEN
Why is this on my dash?
…..I’m.. Bothered? by the fact that I’mnot bothered by this.
You’re not bothered?? I’m not only not bothered, I’m freaking invested. I’m having actual empathetic sadness for The Grinch. I want them to go into couple’s counseling. I want the “ten years later” when Tony visits Whoville on business and meets the reformed Grinch whose heart has grown 3 times its usual size. I want them to reminisce over a shared dinner of roast beast and wine, then spend a drunken night together, then realize that maybe things are different and people really do change. I want a 3-act story where there’s a long dark night of soul searching and the realization that maybe we’ve all got a little bit of bad banana with greasy black peel inside us, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make a damned fine banana bread if someone will give us a chance.
“maybe we’ve all got a little bit of bad banana with greasy black peel inside us, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make a damned fine banana bread if someone will give us a chance” is an incredibly profound quote and I did NOT expect to get it from a Grinch x Tony the Tiger post
every fucking year i have to see this on my dash please just let me fucking r e s t
Green eyes shouldn’t actually be considered an eye color. It’s just not common enough, it’s a VERY SMALL percentage of the population, 1-2%. Green eyes are also caused by an irregular mutation. Most people have blue or brown eyes, so those are the two eye colors.
All the “green eyes” positivity is actually a bad thing, by the way. Having green eyes is linked to higher rates of retinal melanoma. You’re celebrating something dangerous that can cause suffering.
And besides, most people with “green eyes” lean closer to blue or brown anyways. They should just make up their minds and be brown eyed or green eyed. And if it’s too hard to tell, they should get corrective surgery (because green eyes are dangerous, and associated with more difficult medical care!) or at the least wear contacts so they don’t confuse people. But also they should be required to
I hate to sound like this, but green eyes are a far more recent development than blue eyes in the mutagenic history of humans. So humans weren’t created to have green eyes.
And hazel eyes? Those are just a variant of brown eyes—come on, they’re far closer to brown than green. They just have a couple greenish traits. And there’s no way there’s that many green eyed people, or a wide variety of eye colors… It’s just not natural.
I don’t have a problem with green eyed people, they didn’t ask to be born that way—but there’s just too few of them for it to be an actual eye color. We don’t need all this “green eye positivity” or putting green eyes in media. The internet is making people delude themselves into thinking it’s more common than it really is.
Shoutout to the green eyed people reblogging this and the intersex people reblogging this and the green eyed intersex people reblogging this. I am at least one of those things but I’m too busy to find out right now and I don’t actually know how
Yep. It also correlates extremely strongly with an increasing decrease of violent crime. One of the symptoms of low level constant lead exposure is increased aggression and volatility.
Gas companies are still so mad at him he’s “unknown scientist”, know his name
Daily reminder that health and safety standards like these are what politicians mean when they talk about “deregulation.”
Patterson died 5 December 1995.
Petition to make his date of death a Tumblr holiday celebrated by talking about cool shit the gas and petroleum industries don’t want us to know about, and fighting to continue his work.
a person online: i hate it when adults act like childish little freaks in public, smh. you’re an adult, you should be able to order your own food without help. get over yourself. also, why are some people, like, waaaaaaay too into the stuff that they like? omg, and the people who CLEARLY can’t even have one (1) normal conversation without acting Weird??? it’s embarrassing, u guys are embarrassing, get help
the same person five seconds later: we gotta remember to love and support the autistic community u guys <3
you know, in hindsight this reminds me of something
when i’m at work, people get mad at me for not hearing them the first few times. like, openly agitated. they’ll assume that i’m stupid, or rude, or careless. sometimes they will indirectly chastise me for ‘not paying attention.’ at which point i say “i’m sorry, i’m hard of hearing. you were on my right side and i’m severely deaf in that ear,” and they go “oh my god i’m so sorry i didn’t know.”
yeah. you didn’t, did you? the only available information you had about me was… that i didn’t hear you say something. the thing you hated enough to comment on was that i couldn’t hear you. you don’t get to backpedal once you find out that i have can’t-hear-well disease. i shouldn’t need to present a diagnosis to expect decency from you
if you attach negative characteristics to “didn’t hear what you said,” that will affect how you treat d/Deaf and hard of hearing people. if you attach negative characteristics like “weird and childish” to utterly harmless and well established autistic traits like “doesn’t make eye contact,” that will affect how you treat autistic people. it’s not rocket science
Also as someone who’s Actually Autistic you shouldn’t be a prick to people who are just “Weird and Childish” Neurotypical people are allowed to have fun too. If you treat anyone like that for any reason the only embarassing one is you
me (visibly sweating): ah, yes, of course! a perfectly reasonable price for a grilled cheese and a small smoothie! that was exactly the price i expected you to say when i ordered a single grilled cheese and a smoothie and my vision is NOT getting blurry as we speak! i am a perfectly normal temperature and my speech patterns are natural and even because this is the countenance of an individual who expected to pay 20 american dollars for a single grilled cheese and a smoothie!
As one of the few people who think fleas are among the most aesthetically fascinating of all animals, show me a flea from media and I will rate it.
Example of a 10/10: Teen Titans Go
Simplified and cartoonish but precisely the correct shape and face. Has the scaly body with little hairs, the small forelegs, the face spines and beady eyes. Purple tinge is unrealistic but nice in my opinion. Beast Boy knows this flea by name. He is Jerry.
Example of a 0/10: Tiny Toon Adventures
Putrid. Foul. The first bug to make me feel violence in my heart.
unsure what i would rate these because i suck at rating things but all of them make me sad
the first one would get a lower rating for establishing flea gender roles
First fleas: 1/10 look like cartoon insects but thats it
Yellow stock art flea: 3/10 the jagged teeth kinda save it but looks equally like a cartoon termite or louse
Brown flea: 3/10 I would at least guess this was a flea at a glance kinda
Uncle Grandpa Flea: actually willing to give this a 5/10, it at least looks like a weird scuzzy bug creature and doesn’t add wings or antennas. The polka dotted abdomen thing and the head blob are all that really distract from a recognizable flea inspired creature
Oh for real?? Jerry is an even more thoughtful design then, I was almost second guessing my initial 10/10 but that really seals the deal I gotta say
PT Flea: 10/10 immediately recognizable, funny scuzzy goblin eyeballs, funny flea circus joke, honestly best character in that film and should’ve been a constant little bastard presence
Yugioh flea: 9/10 I was around when this came out! I was impressed then and impressed now. However I’m not just rating for accuracy, it’s a good solid flea but so straightforward there’s little else that can be said of it.
Spongebob flea: 8/10 it is definitely a flea and I like it, though the sinister alien monster look by necessity loses some actual flea cuteness. That was the goal, but it’s not quite perfectly my jam
Pierre from kipo:
11/10
Mostly lifted straight but with a creative face design that’s still darling, body shape is stylized in a cool way, gorgeous gorgeous color palette and lovable role as the “noble steed” of a giant mutant lumberjack cat (first image for those wondering is on a kaiju sized dog thats just treated as Pierre’s house basically, hilarious) God this was a cool cartoon that the world really slept on.
why are yall not talking about the information yall don’t know? yall fake
Watch the people who haven’t seen this yet not reblog it
WHY DOESN’T THIS RELATIVELY NEW POST HAVE MORE NOTES, POSTS ABOUT A VERY POPULAR MOVIE THAT CAME OUT LAST YEAR HAVE MILLIONS OF NOTES
if you don’t reblog this negative, guilt-tripping, un-fact-checked post about something you don’t have the emotional energy to deal with, just unfollow me.
i can’t believe that people aren’t reblogging this version that you either need to dig through thousand of reblogs to find or be lucky enough that the reblog chain you saw contains it :/
