Watching my toddler figure out how to language is fascinating. Yesterday we were stumped when he kept insisting there was a “Lego winner” behind his bookshelf - it turned out to be a little Lego trophy cup. Not knowing the word for “trophy”, he’d extrapolated a word for “thing you can win”. And then, just now, he held up his empty milk container and said, “Mummy? It’s not rubbish. It’s allowed to be a bottle.” - meaning, effectively, “I want this. Don’t throw it away.” But to an adult ear, there’s something quite lovely about “it’s allowed to be a bottle,” as if we’re acknowledging that the object is entitled to keep its title even in the absence of the original function.
Another good post to read for those writing small human characters.
My son was about three when he came to me in the middle of the day and said, “Mommy, there’s a knight behind the bush.” I thought he meant a toy knight or something. So I follow him outside and he goes, “Listen. Do you hear it? It’s night behind the bush.” It was a cricket. A cricket was standing in the little patch of shade under the bush, chirping. So, my son saw this dark area with accompanying nighttime sounds and decided, okay, well, that is a night right there. Their brains are incredible.
My little bean knows she’s two, constantly saying proudly ‘I’m two!’ And the other day she saw this very frail old lady who looked one foot in the grave, pulled a face and said ‘oh shiiiit. She’s three.’ I almost screamed.
I live in Korea and have a lot of international friends, and the same is true with language barriers in adults.
*Looking at a bowl of pears* “Can you please pass me the… apple’s friend?”
There WAS a sit-in in a different bathroom in the Capitol on the literal same day, two of them happening simultaneously actually, one of men (mostly trans men) outside the women’s bathroom and one of trans women inside the bathroom.
We can do multiple things, y'know? One of which isn’t trying to “shoot up” one of the most secure places on the planet. Also you’re hiding shit in the tags, you’re significantly more of a coward than any of the people in this video.
How is this protest any less valid than an “actual” sit-in? Because there is joy? Because there is dancing? Because the oppressed are expressing anything but dour resignation?
Invention of a Feminist Sound Bite
by Alix Kates Shulman
December 24, 2001
“IF I CAN’T DANCE I DON’T want to be in your revolution,” said Emma Goldman.
Or did she? Perhaps she said, “If 1 can’t dance I don’t want to be part of your revolution,” as my purple T-shirt claims under a picture of Emma looking demure in a widebrimmed hat. Or was it rather, “If I can’t dance to it, it’s not my revolution,” as the quote appears in a 1983 Passover Haggadah?
In fact, though the sentiment is indeed Emma Goldman’s, she wrote none of the above, notwithstanding that each of these versions and more have been attributed to her on buttons, posters, banners, T-shirts, bumper stickers, and in books and articles, for nearly twenty years. Here, rather, is what she did say, in her 1931 autobiography Living My Life:
To quote Emma Goldman in her 1931 autobiography:
“At the dances I was one of the most untiring and gayest. One evening a cousin of Sasha, a young boy, took me aside. With a grave face, as if he were about to announce the death of a dear comrade, he whispered to me that it did not behoove an agitator to dance… My frivolity would only hurl the Cause. I grew furious at the impudent interference of the boy. I told him to mind his own business, I was tired of having the Cause constantly thrown into my face. I did not believe that a Cause which stood for a beautiful ideal, for anarchism, for release and freedom from conventions and prejudice, .should demand the denial of life and joy… If it meant that, I did not want it.”
i know. i know it’s been terrible forever and i’ve known that forever but i can’t stop thinking now about how every form of insurance is just like. it’s just paying taxes to a private corporation. like oh let’s all pay a little bit of money to these people so that if we need a lot of money later they can pay for it. and contribute to the public good by ensuring other people have enough money to pay for injuries/fix their car/house/get healthcare
it’s literally just
it’s just taxes it should just be taxes
Taxes are bad and evil so instead I pay money to a private corporation whose best interest is to resist giving me a payout at all costs and also a portion of that money goes to a CEO being paid millions of dollars. This is a better system. /sarcasm
Grian having black widow symbolism for always getting his friends killed and then calling his base where both of his teammates died “the spider’s nest” is insane actually
much better footage of the haka that shut down parliament today
this is on my blog at least 5 times already but i had to reblog it again, because i was catching up on local news from this morning (mostly following the hīkoi which i sadly couldn’t attend bc disability)
and maipi-clarke (the girl starting the haka) spoke briefly on this going viral
but instead they handed the bill to her. and this is speculation on my part, but given how our current right wing government has been pulling out a lot of dirty tricks lately to avoid māori protests, i wouldn’t be surprised if they gave it to the youngest member of parliament (she’s only 22), because they figured she would be the least likely to be brave and step up
so i just wanna congratulate her again for sticking to it, they tried to use her inexperience to shut her up and she just went okay, i’m leading this now, and good for her
i can’t stop thinking about this. this kind of shit is not like milsim plane nerds with their own super-expensive desktop cockpit recreations. that kind of hardware makes sense to exist.
this does not. they’re playing world of tanks which is like the “call of duty” of tank games (casual, players only slightly bad-smelling). it also doesn’t have support for tank peripherals. no game does. no trainers do afaik. which means that (assuming this isn’t just a video editing) all of that shit they are fucking with translates into mouse/keyboard inputs that the game understands. that’s weird/hard and perplexing, uh, and considering that “tank peripherals” aren’t a thing that exist i can only guess they built them theirselves
which is fucking hilarious because why are they so good. why does the fucking cannon breech have a little dry ice smoke effect when the breech opens like they just shot a shell. what. manual turret traverse crank?? did they build a fucking ready rack!! they’re even using the correct phraseology which means one of these mofos read a PDF file
kinda wish hrt was instant but also very in love with the joy over time of gradually becoming. and not knowing where it will end. if ever
I wanna start HRT at some point, but the thing about my relationship to gender is that I don’t really know where to end goal is here, and feel like I really wouldn’t be able to know until I start messing with things and figure out my boundaries. The journey is the whole point and process here. Unfortunately though, I highly doubt most doctors will accept “fuck around and find out” as a reason to prescribe
“We chose the term “asexual” to describe ourselves because both “celibate” and “anti-sexual” have connotations we wished to avoid: the first implies that one has sacrificed sexuality for some higher good, the second that sexuality is degrading or somehow inherently bad. “Asexual”, as we use it, does not mean “without sex” but “relating sexually to no one”. This does not, of course, exclude masturbation but implies that if one has sexual feelings they do not require another person for their expression. Asexuality is, simply, self-contained sexuality.”
And that’s only the date that Manifesto was written, so asexuals as members of a community must have existed at least some time before that.
So, no: we are not just Tumblr trenders. Get out of here with that.
supporting my asexual friends and foes by rebbloging this
It’s 50 years this month since the first version of the Asexual Manifesto was written. Aces have been writing about our experiences under this name for at least half a century. We are not an internet fad.
the concept and idea of “you can always start trying to be a better person” is extremely important to me both in media and irl and i continue to be deeply deeply disturbed by the trend on this site pushing that these ideas in media are bad writing or even morally reprehensible
because theyd rather someone stay terrible or just straight up die than become a better person
from a compassionate point of view it’s deeply distressing and from a pragmatic point of view it’s outright frustrating
it’s fucked up.
What is the most important step a man can take?
The next.
I think part of the pushback about this is the idea that, to “redeem” bad people, their victims must first forgive them for unforgivable acts.
This is false. No one is obligated to forgive you. You can learn from your mistakes and become the best, kindest person on earth, and the
people you’ve hurt still won’t forgive you, and you’ll have to accept that. And that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to grow. Because we aren’t just “pure” or “sinful”, we’re complex.
the concept and idea of “you can always start trying to be a better person” is extremely important to me both in media and irl and i continue to be deeply deeply disturbed by the trend on this site pushing that these ideas in media are bad writing or even morally reprehensible
because theyd rather someone stay terrible or just straight up die than become a better person
from a compassionate point of view it’s deeply distressing and from a pragmatic point of view it’s outright frustrating
it’s fucked up.
What is the most important step a man can take?
The next.
I think part of the pushback about this is the idea that, to “redeem” bad people, their victims must first forgive them for unforgivable acts.
This is false. No one is obligated to forgive you. You can learn from your mistakes and become the best, kindest person on earth, and the
people you’ve hurt still won’t forgive you, and you’ll have to accept that. And that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to grow. Because we aren’t just “pure” or “sinful”, we’re complex.
Ok so my kid had an ear infection, right? As kids often do.
The doctor scraped out a bit of earwax to have a better look inside.
I was sent a bill for $200 PER EAR for this 5 second procedure which I did not give permission for them to do.
That was key- they did not ASK me if they could do this “procedure”. And, as I OWN a medical practice (it’s me. The medical practice is me, sitting in my house on video calls) I knew to call them when this bill came in to be like “You did not obtain informed consent for this procedure, and it was not en emergency procedure. You had full ability to gain my consent and didn’t. I’m not paying.”
And the massive hospital who owned the bill said “yuh-huh you do have to pay.”
And I said “I own a practice. I know these laws. I do not owe you money for this.”
And they conducted an “internal review” and SURPRISE! Decided I totally owed them money and they had never done anything wrong ever.
And so I called my state’s Attorney General office, and explained the situation because, as I mentioned, I know the law. The AG got in touch within a couple days to say they were taking the case and would send the massive hospital conglomerate a knock it off, guys letter.
Lo and Behold, today I have a letter where said hospital graciously has agreed to forfeit the payment.
“How not to get screwed over by companies” should be part of civics class.
Know your rights and know who to call when they’re infringed on. This whole process cost me $0 and honestly less effort than I would have expected.
May this knowledge find its way to someone else who can use it.
This post is super cute and all but like…. This isn’t practical advice. I called the AG???? And they got involved over a $200 bill. Maybe because you yourself are a medical practitioner. Not just your knowledge but also your status.
Civics class wouldn’t help most people in this case because the AG will not take on all these cases and most people cannot afford an attorney in this instance or more importantly, the hit to their credit.
The issue is not education over the system, it is the system
I agree the system is a mess but I think education does matter because people seem not to know that this is actually perfectly routine AG office stuff. I’m not the only person who’s done this- this is just what they do?
Were they going to get into a lawsuit over my $400 bill? No obviously not. But they printed up a letter on fancy letterhead to say to stop and it worked. They followed up with me the next day to be sure, and so ask how much money they had saved me.
They use dinky cases like mine to track habitual misbehavior of large scale companies to build cases they could actually go to court over.
And because people are shocked- I never spoke to the AG of my state directly. He operates mainly by overseeing a whole crew of people. And this is what those people do.
This didn’t happen because I’m special because of my tiny therapy practice.
This happened because this is what the AG office is for.
“The problem is systemic” doesn’t mean “and there’s nothing you can do”.
This is a systemic problem but that doesn’t mean there are no resources to help.
Thank you for clapping back on this. I’m here to reinforce. Yes, you CAN call your state Attorney General office when an entity is doing something illegal, even if it’s “only” for $400. You think they don’t care a hospital is doing a crime because it’s not a big enough crime?
Then you’ve been trained well by “The System”.
Yes, that System you say can’t be fought? Where did you get that idea, huh? Who taught you that “small” acts of illegality don’t matter? Who made you think that there’s no point in fighting back because it will all come to nothing?
Might it be the same entities that benefit if you believe all that?
Gonna pause and let you ponder.
Never. Ever. EVER.
EVER.
Let companies or corporations or hospitals or organizations or any business big or small get away with screwing you over without a fight. Maybe you personally don’t win every fight, but you lose 100% of the time you don’t try. You’ll win more often than you think you will. I know cuz I’ve done it.
So have others. Attorneys General offices bring lawsuits against businesses all the time. They do so because citizens contacted them to say “someone is doing a crime” and the crime doers did not stop when told and got into way more trouble than if they’d just stopped. FAFO. The Find Out can’t happen if you don’t even bother to report the Fucking Around.
On that note, as OP said, please know your rights! And, in a situation where you don’t but suspect something is hinky, ask! The people of the internet can help! So can librarians! So can many others. Find out what is and is not okay for them to do. If it’s not okay, report them! See something, say something.
Don’t let the System win by default.
Fight, damnit!
Additionally, pay attention to State Attorney elections! Here in Minnesota, our AG Keith Ellison has made it a POINT to go after slumlords, has created an entire UNIT in the AG office dedicated to wage theft, and gone after debt relief for people who were conned by those scummy fake universities. And despite MN being a blue state, one of his elections was a fucking NAIL-BITER.
Absolutely fight the system, absolutely go to your AG office if you’re being screwed over, and also pay attention to the people running for AG in the first place.
Government of the people, by the people, and for the people only works if the people make it work. That’s you! You’re the people.
“Don’t bother doing anything because nothing will happen” confused cause with effect: it’s really “Nothing will happen if you don’t bother doing anything.” Yeah, I know, it’s a travesty that they don’t hand you psychic powers when you take your oath as a civil servant, but until we fix that clear defect in our democracy: you’re serving the public, too, when you report fuckers like this.
Not gonna leave this in the tags:
ALT
Suspicion of The System™️ is one of the ways The System™️ perpetuates itself.
If you believe The System™️ is only for Them™️ and not you, it will only ever be so.
Know the rules so you can make them work for you. Or better, how to break them in ways that hurt The System™️ and help you.
Climate change is real, even if your government denies it. You know that the summers and winters of your childhood are gone, even if your leaders say otherwise. Keep fighting even when things seem hopeless.
At the end, if the rich choose to let the Earth grow too hot to sustain us and the oceans swallow the coastlines, we can take peace in knowing they have only delayed the inevitable for themselves. The Earth does not care if you came from money.
There are solutions to climate change.
I know we probably all know that, but the tone here is very doomsayer and I want people to know we’re not out the game just yet.
I genuinely think that climate deniers’ main strategy has been “they gave us a deadline, so if we run out the clock people will think it’s hopeless and just give up”.
Fuck the deadline. Do it anyway.
You can get the biggest bang for your buck by donating to lobby groups who push policy. If you find one you like, maybe they even need volunteers.
In America, I highly recommend giving to Trees, Water & People. TWP is an indigenous charity that funds indigenous-led projects for protection, conservation, and cleanup of natural resources.
You can still contact your representatives. But if you’re frustrated by the federal or state level, start local. My city has projects to increase use of solar and public transportation. There are citizen led projects, ballot measures, city council meetings. Work small if you have to, but there are things you can do.
And of course, continue to push hard for an end to wars and US weapons sales, as these are some of the biggest contributors to climate change.
there is something so crazy and powerful about having art of your oc that was made by anyone other than yourself. like oh my god you actually exist outside of my own brain that’s WILD
The only way into my building is through the front door which locks itself when closed. There’s a back entrance but it’s deadbolted from the inside. This means the only people who can get into the building are me, my cat sitter with the spare keys, and the people living in the other two units.
The door to MY unit now… has no doorknob. Impossible to get in.
There is a shared BACK hallway that leads to the shared basement/back entrance. My back door into this hall is always deadbolted. EXCEPT, fortuitously, right now, since neighbor (Molly) in unit 2 had heard Patches meowing when alone and offered to spend some time with her, so I had the cat sitter unlock the bolt.
This, LUCKILY, means there is A Way into my unit. But it requires getting into the building, then going THROUGH my neighbors’ unit into the back hall, then up to my unit.
Cat sitter is effectively locked out from Patches, and won’t be able to get in if not fixed by the next day.
Text neighbor about predicament. They’re willing to look at my door bUT (it’s Christmas) they’re not home and not getting home until the next day.
Next day, text for an update but hear nothing. (Neighbors aren’t attached to their phones much). Communicate with catsitter saying “okay if I don’t hear back from neighbors, maybe you go over and I contact a locksmith who you can let in?” (since cat sitter has the keys to the building)
Catsitter is very not keen on the idea
Patches is unaware she’s a prisoner.
Hear back from neighbors. Say they should be home around 5pm.
Okay… Good Enough… (Patches graze-feeds so Luckily she hasn’t missed any meals but we’re going on 24 hours of house arrest Patches).
6pm comes. 7pm comes. 7:40pm I text asking for an update. Nothing.
8:30pm I’m figuring out what friends I can call to break into my own house. Text neighbor again and notice this text doesn’t go through.
Text neighbor’s partner being like “hey sorry, can’t seem to reach Molly–”. Get a text back “Sorry this is Molly on David’s phone! My phone died.” Family Christmas plans ran late but they’re on their way back and will be home soon. Thank goodness.
9pm-ish, they get back, give Patches attention and top up her food. I get a text “David fixed your door!” Woo!
Friday 5pm I finally get home
Lugging my suitcase up three flights of stairs while I hear Patches meowing like a dying Victorian child
Shoes off coat off suitcase down fish out keys unlock door grab doorknob
…Doorknob falls off
Falls off right into my hands
Staring at doorknob. Staring at door. Patches meowing. Shove doorknob against door like an idiot and no it does not go back on.
Fucking
Go down flight of stairs, knock on Molly and David’s door. David is luckily home. “My doorknob fell off again can I go home”
David lets me in. I scoot past their dogs and apparently I startled the more nervous one since she apparently tried to nip at me but I didn’t even notice because I’m like my cat.
Get in through the back hall.
Patches comes bounding over.
My cat.
Doesn’t even know she was a prisoner.
Doesn’t even know what a doorknob is.
Later that night receive a text from neighbor apologizing for the dog and I’m like “I Did Not Even Notice.”
Any attempt to leave my house now is perilous until I fix the doorknob.
Can’t even leave my door cracked open because I know Patches is gonna shove her stupid little face through it and become the opposite of a prisoner.
I wanna go buy a reeces peanut butter cup but by god it’s not worth the risk
I’m gonna try to fix the doorknob
Or… buy? a new doorknob?
On Amazon searching “doorknob”.
Merry Christmas
You are completely right because I have now investigated the knob and can confirm the screw holding the knob to bar was loose. I have tightened the screw and it SEEMS fixed but I’m very Fool Me Once on this since my neighbor also thought they’d fixed it.
There is a Home Depot trip in my future. Or maybe an online purchase if Patches would get off my laptop
Merry Christmas I hope I know how to install a doorknob
Complication. Doorknob is here and I tried to install it, but because my door is older than God, the latch-majig (technical term) is offset like an inch higher than the knob. Modern doorknob has the latch LEVEL with the knob.
To swap in the new knob I’d need to cut a new knob-hole an inch higher in the door which
With what tools
That would leave an unused gaping doorknob-sized hole in my door which any robber the size of a weasel or smaller will use to rob my home. I don’t need fucking Redwall in my home.
Probably bad for the integrity of the door
I don’t wanna.
I think what I really want is just the knob like above tags said. Like the knob and the rectangular bar, which I can substitute in for my stripped-bare knob and rectangle bar. I WOULD do this with the new knob, but it’s got two welded-on spokes poking out from the knob.
I can maybe drill two holes for the spokes in my door…?
(Squinting at shitty amazon listings trying to see if any knobs don’t have the two spokes)
(I think the two spokes might be standard.)
Developing new respect for Jesus (carpenter).
In the meantime, because I’d already unscrewed a lot of things I DID take the genius action of flipping my current doorknob around.
This way the side that causes problems is on the INSIDE.
Doorknob fall of while INSIDE house significantly better than doorknob fall off while OUTSIDE.
I’m retightening all the screws.
Patches has offered no solutions.
ALT
So it does!
Never heard the term “spindle doorknob” before so I never would have found this on my own.
They’re also all labeled “vintage” which extra feels right since my door predates the Cambrian Explosion.
Crowdsourcing my door fix on Tumblr dot com! Doorknob 2.0 is ordered.
ALT
At least 4,000 but we still got time
New doorknob should get here tomorrow, but in the meantime things in the notes of this post:
Several dozen stories of other people getting locked in/out of bathrooms/basements/classrooms/bedrooms/buildings. Extra shout out to the person whose classmate managed to do this twice, in rapid4reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesdweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Patches is on my keyboard
whose classmate managed to do this twice, in rapid succession, to both sides of a classroom door after being saved the first time.
Several people taking this as a sign to go tighten their doorknob screws, including someone whose knob fell off in their hands while doing this
10 or so people reading the “can’t have shit in Detroit” meme to mean I live in Detroit. Sorry to confess I’m a fake Detroitite. Doxxing myself by 0.00001% more by informing the world I live in not-Detroit.
Many many people wondering why I’m not pestering my landlord about this. Truth is my landlord is way too sexy, cool, fashionable, smart, pretty, funny, and popular on Tumblr to it’s me. It’s me. I’m me I’m my landlord. It’s my condo. Including, with immense regret, every single doorknob inside.
3 separate professional locksmiths who have reached out offering advice, which is very cool. I have burst into a virtual hardware store clutching my shit doorknob and fainted, only to be caught by three very strong and cool locksmiths rushing to my aid.
Person with a story of dogsitting a friend’s Tibetan Mastiff who managed to knock the entire backdoor down. Taking inspiration from this to train Patches in battering-ram techniques, should she ever get locked inside again.
DOORKNOB
ALSO MY PAPER TOWELS
(Ran out of paper towels)
Old knob coming off.
Wretched thing. Accursed knob of woe.
Get undid
New knob reign by forceful coup. Went to great pains to PRECISELY wait Patches is escaping
Patches retrieved
Anyway GREAT care was taken to ensure both knobs are ALIGNED, EVEN, SCREWED ON, with the wait hang on
Patches retrieved again.
Anyway
DOORKNOB SCREWED ON
KNOB
Still gonna keep the emergency screwdriver in the hall for probably the next month.
The only way into my building is through the front door which locks itself when closed. There’s a back entrance but it’s deadbolted from the inside. This means the only people who can get into the building are me, my cat sitter with the spare keys, and the people living in the other two units.
The door to MY unit now… has no doorknob. Impossible to get in.
There is a shared BACK hallway that leads to the shared basement/back entrance. My back door into this hall is always deadbolted. EXCEPT, fortuitously, right now, since neighbor (Molly) in unit 2 had heard Patches meowing when alone and offered to spend some time with her, so I had the cat sitter unlock the bolt.
This, LUCKILY, means there is A Way into my unit. But it requires getting into the building, then going THROUGH my neighbors’ unit into the back hall, then up to my unit.
Cat sitter is effectively locked out from Patches, and won’t be able to get in if not fixed by the next day.
Text neighbor about predicament. They’re willing to look at my door bUT (it’s Christmas) they’re not home and not getting home until the next day.
Next day, text for an update but hear nothing. (Neighbors aren’t attached to their phones much). Communicate with catsitter saying “okay if I don’t hear back from neighbors, maybe you go over and I contact a locksmith who you can let in?” (since cat sitter has the keys to the building)
Catsitter is very not keen on the idea
Patches is unaware she’s a prisoner.
Hear back from neighbors. Say they should be home around 5pm.
Okay… Good Enough… (Patches graze-feeds so Luckily she hasn’t missed any meals but we’re going on 24 hours of house arrest Patches).
6pm comes. 7pm comes. 7:40pm I text asking for an update. Nothing.
8:30pm I’m figuring out what friends I can call to break into my own house. Text neighbor again and notice this text doesn’t go through.
Text neighbor’s partner being like “hey sorry, can’t seem to reach Molly–”. Get a text back “Sorry this is Molly on David’s phone! My phone died.” Family Christmas plans ran late but they’re on their way back and will be home soon. Thank goodness.
9pm-ish, they get back, give Patches attention and top up her food. I get a text “David fixed your door!” Woo!
Friday 5pm I finally get home
Lugging my suitcase up three flights of stairs while I hear Patches meowing like a dying Victorian child
Shoes off coat off suitcase down fish out keys unlock door grab doorknob
…Doorknob falls off
Falls off right into my hands
Staring at doorknob. Staring at door. Patches meowing. Shove doorknob against door like an idiot and no it does not go back on.
Fucking
Go down flight of stairs, knock on Molly and David’s door. David is luckily home. “My doorknob fell off again can I go home”
David lets me in. I scoot past their dogs and apparently I startled the more nervous one since she apparently tried to nip at me but I didn’t even notice because I’m like my cat.
Get in through the back hall.
Patches comes bounding over.
My cat.
Doesn’t even know she was a prisoner.
Doesn’t even know what a doorknob is.
Later that night receive a text from neighbor apologizing for the dog and I’m like “I Did Not Even Notice.”
Any attempt to leave my house now is perilous until I fix the doorknob.
Can’t even leave my door cracked open because I know Patches is gonna shove her stupid little face through it and become the opposite of a prisoner.
I wanna go buy a reeces peanut butter cup but by god it’s not worth the risk
I’m gonna try to fix the doorknob
Or… buy? a new doorknob?
On Amazon searching “doorknob”.
Merry Christmas
You are completely right because I have now investigated the knob and can confirm the screw holding the knob to bar was loose. I have tightened the screw and it SEEMS fixed but I’m very Fool Me Once on this since my neighbor also thought they’d fixed it.
There is a Home Depot trip in my future. Or maybe an online purchase if Patches would get off my laptop
Merry Christmas I hope I know how to install a doorknob
Complication. Doorknob is here and I tried to install it, but because my door is older than God, the latch-majig (technical term) is offset like an inch higher than the knob. Modern doorknob has the latch LEVEL with the knob.
To swap in the new knob I’d need to cut a new knob-hole an inch higher in the door which
With what tools
That would leave an unused gaping doorknob-sized hole in my door which any robber the size of a weasel or smaller will use to rob my home. I don’t need fucking Redwall in my home.
Probably bad for the integrity of the door
I don’t wanna.
I think what I really want is just the knob like above tags said. Like the knob and the rectangular bar, which I can substitute in for my stripped-bare knob and rectangle bar. I WOULD do this with the new knob, but it’s got two welded-on spokes poking out from the knob.
I can maybe drill two holes for the spokes in my door…?
(Squinting at shitty amazon listings trying to see if any knobs don’t have the two spokes)
(I think the two spokes might be standard.)
Developing new respect for Jesus (carpenter).
In the meantime, because I’d already unscrewed a lot of things I DID take the genius action of flipping my current doorknob around.
This way the side that causes problems is on the INSIDE.
Doorknob fall of while INSIDE house significantly better than doorknob fall off while OUTSIDE.
I’m retightening all the screws.
Patches has offered no solutions.
ALT
So it does!
Never heard the term “spindle doorknob” before so I never would have found this on my own.
They’re also all labeled “vintage” which extra feels right since my door predates the Cambrian Explosion.
Crowdsourcing my door fix on Tumblr dot com! Doorknob 2.0 is ordered.
ALT
At least 4,000 but we still got time
New doorknob should get here tomorrow, but in the meantime things in the notes of this post:
Several dozen stories of other people getting locked in/out of bathrooms/basements/classrooms/bedrooms/buildings. Extra shout out to the person whose classmate managed to do this twice, in rapid4reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesdweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Patches is on my keyboard
whose classmate managed to do this twice, in rapid succession, to both sides of a classroom door after being saved the first time.
Several people taking this as a sign to go tighten their doorknob screws, including someone whose knob fell off in their hands while doing this
10 or so people reading the “can’t have shit in Detroit” meme to mean I live in Detroit. Sorry to confess I’m a fake Detroitite. Doxxing myself by 0.00001% more by informing the world I live in not-Detroit.
Many many people wondering why I’m not pestering my landlord about this. Truth is my landlord is way too sexy, cool, fashionable, smart, pretty, funny, and popular on Tumblr to it’s me. It’s me. I’m me I’m my landlord. It’s my condo. Including, with immense regret, every single doorknob inside.
3 separate professional locksmiths who have reached out offering advice, which is very cool. I have burst into a virtual hardware store clutching my shit doorknob and fainted, only to be caught by three very strong and cool locksmiths rushing to my aid.
Person with a story of dogsitting a friend’s Tibetan Mastiff who managed to knock the entire backdoor down. Taking inspiration from this to train Patches in battering-ram techniques, should she ever get locked inside again.
DOORKNOB
ALSO MY PAPER TOWELS
(Ran out of paper towels)
Old knob coming off.
Wretched thing. Accursed knob of woe.
Get undid
New knob reign by forceful coup. Went to great pains to PRECISELY wait Patches is escaping
Patches retrieved
Anyway GREAT care was taken to ensure both knobs are ALIGNED, EVEN, SCREWED ON, with the wait hang on
Patches retrieved again.
Anyway
DOORKNOB SCREWED ON
KNOB
Still gonna keep the emergency screwdriver in the hall for probably the next month.
and while we’re on the subject of luigi mangione, FREE NATHAN MAHONEY (who stabbed his company’s CEO during a meeting)! the reason you may not have heard this name is because the police clearly do not want to make the same mistake they did with Mangione by allowing him to become a symbol. let’s show our support for Nathan Mahoney, who looks exactly how he should in his mugshot— proud of himself
Nathan Mahoney ALLEGEDLY stabbed the CEO of Anderson Express Inc, a manufacturing company that produces parts for military vehicles, 1 week after being hired by the company. (Unfortunately the ceo has not died)
Want to materially support indigenous rights within 10 minutes?
Make a submission against the New Zealand’s government’s proposed bill that will take away Māori rights. You don’t need to be from Aotearoa New Zealand to submit.
I feel like we need a massive public education campaign to inform people that “natural” and “healthy” are two completely different words with separate meanings
hate when i make a joke on a post and then look at the tags and everyone else is making the same joke it feels like op is a retail employee and im a customer. im sorry. you should kill me
Because if you don’t restrain a rabbit correctly it will break its own spine while struggling, and they can easily panic themselves to death and their favorite hobby under anesthesia is dying.
Professor at my vet tech program: “often the first sign you have a sick sheep is that you have a dead sheep.”
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