when i have a crush i dont kick my feet or twirl my hair instead i am in my kitchen at 3am pacing in circles with my hands clasped behind my back like a middle-aged divorced detective haunted by a cold case he just cant crack
all these posts like “don’t shop at boatem they support cannibalism” “the evil empire is a crypto scam” “don’t buy at octagon they’re trying to destroy the fabric of the universe” where the FUCK else am I supposed to shop????
🐠xbcrafted Follow
may i recommend horse head farms? we sell a variety items for agreeable prices and have alternate payment plans which mean you don’t have to spend a single diamond! you can find us via the nether hub <3
🪲yeswingsforlife Follow
do NOT shop at Horse Head Farms! Their items are incredibly overpriced (you can find grass, logs, etc for better prices) and this “alternative payment scheme” is actually signing an IOU. If you don’t know what that is, IOU stands for “I Owe You” and is a legal document that, when possessed, someone can force you to do anything. Literally anything. LegalKnight does a great video going into detail about it. According to this article, Horse Head Farms have just invested in building an auction house, possibly to sell off the IOUs they’ve acquired, so scummy CEOs could force you to work at their companies. Not to mention, their owners are incredibly sketchy, xBCrafted regularly tweets conspiracy theories and Hypnotizd invests in crypto
😵💫hypnotizd Follow
youre wrong actually, i have had nothing but brilliant service at Horse Head Farms. IOUs arent sketchy theyre normal pieces of paper. #shoptoday
🪲yeswingsforlife Follow
… you’re literally one of the owners
🐸cottagecoreliving Follow
to answer the original question, here’s a list of more reputable businesses that you can support instead!
Private detectives useless as hell all I do is sit behind a desk dramatically lit in black and white stripes by my half open blinds and smoke cigars. Living the dream
#privatedetective #detectivelife #i have 19 unsolved cases
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🎷 aceofspades Follow
prohibition hitting hard…making some bathtup gin tonight. DM for recipe
🎷aceofspades Follow
hopital
( 65 notes )
🔘 deactivated-341925 Follow
Clara Bow is 20??!!!
🔘 deactivated-341925 Follow
SHE SHOULD BE AT THE SPEAKEASY
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🎙 fancy-nancyboy Follow
Smuggling some moonshine in my coat oh boy I sure do hope no big scary prohibition officer comes andbpins me and handcuffs me hahha oh nooo that would suck
#wink wink
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🍸 gladragz Follow
my thirsty ass could NEVER be a bootlegger!!!!
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🚬 runrummer Follow
Anyone else think some of those jc leyendecker drawings are kind of yaoi ….
suck, and i cannot stress this enough, my cock to the fucking base
oh no! i dropped this screenshot that explains how to bypass this with a free adblocker! you shouldn’t reblog this or anything; it’d be terrible if people used this advice to watch ad-free youtube!!
when people are like “the hunger games just stole the plot of battle royale” like listen everything steals from the plot of everything the lion king is just furry hamlet westworld is jurassic park but sexier lost is edgy gilligan’s island there are no original stories and the only good piece of media is jennifer’s body
Michael crichton wrote westworld and jurassic park tho so he just pirated himself
michael crichton keeps TRYING to tell y’all about the evils of capitalism impeding on the progress of science when will y’all LISTEN
Maybe he just doesn’t like theme parks
michael crichton in line for a roller coaster at six flags: fuck this
Jesus Christ, that’s the height at which every rollercoaster and dark ride is a decapitation threat
how am I ever supposed to leave tumblr when it takes me on journeys like this
you always fucking try to pull my arms and legs off by tying them to horses and having tge horses all run away in different directions and to be quite honest i’m fucking sick of it
everything gender criticals whine about being taken away from women ever since the transes took over is hard to take seriously because none of this has ever applied to butches
“bathrooms used to be a safe space!” butches have never been allowed that luxury. “people now have to ask if we’re women, as if it wasn’t obvious!” butches have never been allowed that luxury. “now im second guessing every woman i talk to! what if she’s a man?” yeah butches have dealt with that for a while now. “we used to be respected as women, now we’re people who menstruate or whatever dumb shit” do you think butch women have ever been respected as women
this paranoia about having to share a space with anyone they see as “not woman enough” is insane. they’re longing for the good old days when THEY didn’t deal with that, they weren’t just female separatists they were cis white monosexual gender conforming separatists.
all those cats that are going missing in the alps are doing warriors shit. beating the fuck out of each other and pissing all over the place. honestly disgraceful
I like how teens are too young to figure out their sexuality unless its heterosexual
Idk how people find this old post like once a week but I will say as a closeted 15 year old nothing can describe how much confidence it gave me that everyone agreed with me. That it’s all bullshit. I was so angry and frustrated at the world not taking me seriously, and the thousands and thousands of people reblogging showed me that I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t crazy and heteronormativity is all bullshit. Being queer is as natural as breathing air.
if you’ve ever used the London Underground you might have noticed that it often gets uncomfortably hot. the reason for this is actually that its builders dug too greedily & too deep and as a result the trains are very close to the fires of hell. hope that helps.
hey @catsarehumanstoo, how dare you leave incredible addition this in the notes:
there is no official position within the vatican on aliens but according to this guy, either aliens had no original sin or there’s a martian jesus. so take that as you will.
I do think it’s ultimately the potion seller’s right to not sell the knight potions that would explode the knight and that it’s out of hubris that the knight keeps insisting on only the strongest potions but I also think it’s a situation born on clashing egos because the potion seller is clearly proud of how strong he can make his potions and here comes a common bloke insinuating that he can handle the best of what the potion seller is capable of offering, and instead of offering more suitable alternatives from his own stock the potion seller completely shutters down on this initial gaffe out of pride - note how he says “you’d better go to a seller that sells weaker potions” instead of recommending his own weaker potions, suggesting that he is still stuck on the knight’s request as an insult to his abilities as a seller above anything else, and reasserting himself as a high quality seller relative to other sellers. ultimately this unfortunate interaction happens because neither party is willing to cede an inch out of the initial affront to their self image
YOU need an ancient tome to tell you how to cast. I simply convene with the arcane and pour my intentions into the ocean on power and get what I ask for :3