January 2025

charlottan:

why dknt we let the girl who sucks and is bad at everything have a try

hortensius-deactivated20240909:

through autism and necromancy everything is possible

angelslant:

when i have a crush i dont kick my feet or twirl my hair instead i am in my kitchen at 3am pacing in circles with my hands clasped behind my back like a middle-aged divorced detective haunted by a cold case he just cant crack

buddwyer:

“debit or credit?” personality :) (walks out of the store without paying)

notrealnothereneverwas:

my forever favorite character dynamic of all time

horse-head-farms:

🪼slime-kisser Follow

all these posts like “don’t shop at boatem they support cannibalism” “the evil empire is a crypto scam” “don’t buy at octagon they’re trying to destroy the fabric of the universe” where the FUCK else am I supposed to shop????

🐠xbcrafted Follow

may i recommend horse head farms? we sell a variety items for agreeable prices and have alternate payment plans which mean you don’t have to spend a single diamond! you can find us via the nether hub <3

🪲yeswingsforlife Follow

do NOT shop at Horse Head Farms! Their items are incredibly overpriced (you can find grass, logs, etc for better prices) and this “alternative payment scheme” is actually signing an IOU. If you don’t know what that is, IOU stands for “I Owe You” and is a legal document that, when possessed, someone can force you to do anything. Literally anything. LegalKnight does a great video going into detail about it. According to this article, Horse Head Farms have just invested in building an auction house, possibly to sell off the IOUs they’ve acquired, so scummy CEOs could force you to work at their companies. Not to mention, their owners are incredibly sketchy, xBCrafted regularly tweets conspiracy theories and Hypnotizd invests in crypto

😵‍💫hypnotizd Follow

youre wrong actually, i have had nothing but brilliant service at Horse Head Farms. IOUs arent sketchy theyre normal pieces of paper. #shoptoday

🪲yeswingsforlife Follow

… you’re literally one of the owners

🐸cottagecoreliving Follow

to answer the original question, here’s a list of more reputable businesses that you can support instead!

🥚dragon-tegg Follow

hey not to derail this post or anything but is anyone going to mention how OP literally fetishises slime hybrids???

( 7,067 notes )

🌃elytramoments Follow

hate when i crashland in the lava biome

🐶renrobert Follow

you mean the nether

🌃elytramoments Follow

A minecraft screenshot, showcasing Cub’s biome in Hermitcraft Season 8. A billboard reads “Cub’s canyon”.ALT

i do not

#i think it’s a national park or something #idk its like this for miles #its near boatem

( 15.4k notes )

👁️big-eyes Follow

This weekend at Big Eyes we are having a #SALE of up to 99% OFF! EVERY item has a discount! Don’t waste your diamonds, shop at Big Eyes!

😍sexy-papa-k Follow

sweetfaces! we are going into debt! please buy ❤️❤️💕❤️🍆😭😭😭❤️
-papa k

👁️big-eyes Follow

kerlais why woudl you reblog on that account

😍sexy-papa-k Follow

we need all the reach we can get bubbles! ❤️😝❤️❤️🍆💕
-papa k

( 14 notes )

crimson-firecat:

superkarissa64:

slimmerboo:

marcelinedrawsooo:

I stumbled upon a website that allows you to blend any colors evenly no matter how opposite on the spectrum they are.

sharing the knowledge

image

very helpful art resource

WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE???

SHRIEK

selfship-quotes:

making a collection

kippwire:

i give you more of whatever these things are. they dont like me

detectivehole:

the classic trope of “what if you went to a town and it was weird” never fails

jesticutioner:

ncsasp:

venort:

reallybadblackoutpoems:

imagination (1963) - harold ordway rugg

“chekhovs cat / schrödingers razor / occams gun”

Chekov’s Cat: if you see a cat in the first act, it will probably be relevant later. (example: Alien)

Shrodinger’s razor: an unopened box may or may not contain the solution to the story; there’s no way to know without opening it. (example: Monk)

Occam’s gun: the simplest way to kill off a character is to shoot them. (example: Bambi)

i have been cracking up at this for the past 3 minutes

Chekov’s Box: If there is a container introduced in the opening act, it will be opened later.


Schrodinger’s Gun: Treat every gun as if it’s loaded unless you’ve checked it yourself.


Occam’s Cat: If you hear strange noises at night, it’s probably a cat.

sedgewick-gayble:

1920s tumblr simulator

🎞 noirsuatoir Follow

Private detectives useless as hell all I do is sit behind a desk dramatically lit in black and white stripes by my half open blinds and smoke cigars. Living the dream

#privatedetective #detectivelife #i have 19 unsolved cases

( 10,552 notes )

🎷 aceofspades Follow

prohibition hitting hard…making some bathtup gin tonight. DM for recipe

🎷aceofspades Follow

hopital

( 65 notes )

🔘 deactivated-341925 Follow

Clara Bow is 20??!!!

🔘 deactivated-341925 Follow

SHE SHOULD BE AT THE SPEAKEASY

( 979 notes )

🎙 fancy-nancyboy Follow

Smuggling some moonshine in my coat oh boy I sure do hope no big scary prohibition officer comes andbpins me and handcuffs me hahha oh nooo that would suck

#wink wink

( 4,208 notes )

🍸 gladragz Follow

my thirsty ass could NEVER be a bootlegger!!!!

( 7 notes )

🚬 runrummer Follow

Anyone else think some of those jc leyendecker drawings are kind of yaoi ….

#those arrow collar advertisments got me feelin smthn #jc leyendecker #jcleyendecker #jcl

( 962 notes )

📻 flapperfanny-fan973 Follow

she speak on my easy till I jazz

( 12 notes )

divorce-quartet-memes:

ur honour. the blorbos.

hotroadkill:

collection

m0thmancore:

m0thmancore:

suck, and i cannot stress this enough, my cock to the fucking base

oh no! i dropped this screenshot that explains how to bypass this with a free adblocker! you shouldn’t reblog this or anything; it’d be terrible if people used this advice to watch ad-free youtube!!

gayboygaming:

comfymoth:

comfymoth:

what if they were just sluttin it up under that cloak? huh? how would we know?

hearing you out…………..

Once i have boobs i need a top with a boobie window

thisdastampdoesnotexist:

elllapa:

Merry yaoimas

madlori:

sonatine:

onion-souls:

lordturkeyfist:

kryptonians:

lesbianbritneyspears:

perrisbueller:

donnasweettttttttt:

when people are like “the hunger games just stole the plot of battle royale” like listen everything steals from the plot of everything the lion king is just furry hamlet westworld is jurassic park but sexier lost is edgy gilligan’s island there are no original stories and the only good piece of media is jennifer’s body

Michael crichton wrote westworld and jurassic park tho so he just pirated himself

michael crichton keeps TRYING to tell y’all about the evils of capitalism impeding on the progress of science when will y’all LISTEN

Maybe he just doesn’t like theme parks

michael crichton in line for a roller coaster at six flags: fuck this

Jesus Christ, that’s the height at which every rollercoaster and dark ride is a decapitation threat

how am I ever supposed to leave tumblr when it takes me on journeys like this

murderofsomeone:

typenull:

Collab with @animalinvestigator

everythingfox:

Admiring himself

(via)

things-that-are-not-true:

you always fucking try to pull my arms and legs off by tying them to horses and having tge horses all run away in different directions and to be quite honest i’m fucking sick of it

dysphoria-things:

dysphoria-things:

dysphoria-things:

everything gender criticals whine about being taken away from women ever since the transes took over is hard to take seriously because none of this has ever applied to butches

“bathrooms used to be a safe space!” butches have never been allowed that luxury. “people now have to ask if we’re women, as if it wasn’t obvious!” butches have never been allowed that luxury. “now im second guessing every woman i talk to! what if she’s a man?” yeah butches have dealt with that for a while now. “we used to be respected as women, now we’re people who menstruate or whatever dumb shit” do you think butch women have ever been respected as women

this paranoia about having to share a space with anyone they see as “not woman enough” is insane. they’re longing for the good old days when THEY didn’t deal with that, they weren’t just female separatists they were cis white monosexual gender conforming separatists.

pangeasoftware:

things-that-are-not-true:

if everybody in the club works together we can all lay the biggest egg the world has ever seen

things-that-are-not-true:

all those cats that are going missing in the alps are doing warriors shit. beating the fuck out of each other and pissing all over the place. honestly disgraceful

things-that-are-not-true:

despite the english alphabet having thousands of known letters, only 5 meet the criteria of “true” letters

pieklo:

Reblog daily for health and prosperity

rneliflua:

This Video Essay Could Have Been A One Paragraph Rant On Tumblr

shleemies:

shleemies:

I like how teens are too young to figure out their sexuality unless its heterosexual

Idk how people find this old post like once a week but I will say as a closeted 15 year old nothing can describe how much confidence it gave me that everyone agreed with me. That it’s all bullshit. I was so angry and frustrated at the world not taking me seriously, and the thousands and thousands of people reblogging showed me that I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t crazy and heteronormativity is all bullshit. Being queer is as natural as breathing air.

neversmartcourtmage:

neversmartcourtmage:

poptartcatz40:

THE CHILDREN YEARN FOR THE MINES

WHY DO THE YEARN FOR THE MINES?

RCOK AND STONE!!!

ROCK AND STONE!!!

For reference I’m not even a dwarf I just VERY enthusiastically love the Mines

neversmartcourtmage:

shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey:

penny-anna:

if you’ve ever used the London Underground you might have noticed that it often gets uncomfortably hot. the reason for this is actually that its builders dug too greedily & too deep and as a result the trains are very close to the fires of hell. hope that helps.

hey @catsarehumanstoo, how dare you leave incredible addition this in the notes:

That’s so much better actually

neversmartcourtmage:

dungeonmeshiheritageposts:

grimeclown:

anernymerus:

Little victories every day

dungeon meshi heritage post

He deserves it *affectionate*

neversmartcourtmage:

charl0ttan:

charl0ttan:

playing poisoned chalice with my #underlings

so they fucking cjeated ,

Fucking hate it when that happens

neversmartcourtmage:

despin-convert-deactivated20250:

despin-convert-deactivated20250:

when aliens make contact will the catholic church…

send missionaries to spread the gospel

denounce their blasphemous cults

claim they have no knowledge of good and evil and therefore cannot sin

crusade

deny their existence a la dinosaurs

See Results

there is no official position within the vatican on aliens but according to this guy, either aliens had no original sin or there’s a martian jesus. so take that as you will.

This makes me happy because reasons

neversmartcourtmage:

thefleetingflashofa-sword623:

Would you hate me if i went wraith form in front of your mom

Naw we chillin

elodieunderglass:

kyrosion:

bisonrimant:

Woodcarved humanoid goose wearing plate armour. She's holding a shield and a flanged mace. On the handle of the mace, a red robin landed. The eyes of the goose are made of glass. The feet and the beak are painted in burnt yellow, as the breast of the red robin. The upper part of the robin is painted in brown/grey  and its eyes and beak in black.ALT
another point of view ALT
another point of view ALT
another point of view ALT
another point of view ALT

Honk and Bonk

@elodieunderglass

Oh I love them thank you

neversmartcourtmage:

derinthescarletpescatarian:

fatsexybitch:

irlactualhuman:

panoramaaa-deactivated20250601:

They should get a baby to eat. As a treat.

What is their crime? Trying to eat a baby? A succulent human baby?

They know the safety wall is there but they go for it anyway, they want to eat them so so bad

IM SORRY BUT

“What is their crime? Eating a baby? A succulent human baby?

KILLS ME EVERY TIME I READ IT

neversmartcourtmage:

spiribia:

I do think it’s ultimately the potion seller’s right to not sell the knight potions that would explode the knight and that it’s out of hubris that the knight keeps insisting on only the strongest potions but I also think it’s a situation born on clashing egos because the potion seller is clearly proud of how strong he can make his potions and here comes a common bloke insinuating that he can handle the best of what the potion seller is capable of offering, and instead of offering more suitable alternatives from his own stock the potion seller completely shutters down on this initial gaffe out of pride - note how he says “you’d better go to a seller that sells weaker potions” instead of recommending his own weaker potions, suggesting that he is still stuck on the knight’s request as an insult to his abilities as a seller above anything else, and reasserting himself as a high quality seller relative to other sellers. ultimately this unfortunate interaction happens because neither party is willing to cede an inch out of the initial affront to their self image

A key analysis

neversmartcourtmage:

wizardofthepit:

YOU need an ancient tome to tell you how to cast. I simply convene with the arcane and pour my intentions into the ocean on power and get what I ask for :3

Have fun with the Mana Whale.

neversmartcourtmage:

sourcreammachine:

bisthefairy:

proartspb:

Stealing prev tags uwu

^mental gymnastics of the forcefield denier

May we cherish the force field forevermore

*holiday ghost sound*

neversmartcourtmage:

evilwizard:

oh shit. two more of those and im gonna have to start Changing My Ways

NOOOOOOOOOOO

I got my dick stuck in a trap in your dungeon, please help.

neversmartcourtmage:

ymfingsteadilyon:

evilwizard:

psychuan:

evilwizard:

motherfucker why was your dick out mid-adventure

did you forget to put up the “no monsterfuckers” sign

i did put up the sign but it turned out to be a mimic and ran away

with a monsterfucker.

I’LL KILL THAT BARD!!! YOU CAN’T STOP ME

jellynotbees:

The moment he realized he was doomed (read: falling in love)

Plus bonus aftermath:

callizinc:

mutuals i am. placing a very small very friendly baby dragon . in your hand :]

a-violent-chewtoy:

kittykatninja321:

they match each other’s freak to a degree that is dangerous to the public

me and @saintblooddrinker, that’s why they keep an ocean between us

dimetrodone:

dimetrodone:

Thing Thing and Thing cartoon cinematic universe

Knew I was forgetting one.

bamsara:

POV: you are a spy, and this Lamb can no longer read minds…but they don’t need to when the Devil can, whispering in their ear

bamsara:

Twitch chat voted for ‘jealous Lamb’ in last night’s art stream thus this comic