January 2025

leolaroot:

ivanoyva:

leolaroot:

“dont smoke around your pets” okay well i dont even smoke im asthmatic. my dog smokes bc she needs to fucking chill sometimes and Yeah i light them for her Obviously bc she cant use a lighter. i dont get anyrhing out of this arrangment and i resent the implication. in fact shes giving ME secondhand smoke. so my question is why are you so hateful and jugemental and acting like an asshole to me making presumptions and shit about my life.

What. What. What. What.

im gonna pop some.tag

google-searchhistory-official:

cherryfleischer:

google how to reach salvation no god no religion in 5 minutes

get wizard high

cherryfleischer:

google how to reach salvation no god no religion in 5 minutes

so-many-ocs:

[on the verge of having a complete breakdown] i need to make some kind of list or perhaps sort things into categories

miscbones:

snapcracklepop-myjoints:

ailurinae:

aimasup:

guooey:

this guy suuuucksss he can’t catch anythingggg

prev tags

They only showed two hunts, and said one in three is successful. So he’s probably on par. That said, 1 in 3 is pretty good numbers for a lot of predators. Hunting is really hard it turns out.

Leave him alooooone his legs are too short and his paws are cold😭

excellent faces on this guy

miscbones:

snapcracklepop-myjoints:

ailurinae:

aimasup:

guooey:

this guy suuuucksss he can’t catch anythingggg

prev tags

They only showed two hunts, and said one in three is successful. So he’s probably on par. That said, 1 in 3 is pretty good numbers for a lot of predators. Hunting is really hard it turns out.

Leave him alooooone his legs are too short and his paws are cold😭

excellent faces on this guy

not-terezi-pyrope:

I feel like there’s this idea that if you are autistic then you will be able to ignore social/communication difficulties if you join communities composed of other autistic people, and unfortunately based on what I’ve seen this is absolutely not reliably the case.

Sure, a group of autistic people will probably be better at proactively navigating communication difficulties, and many people might have certain baselines in common, but everyone’s brain works differently, and there is just as much room for autistic people to misunderstand or misinterpret each other in ways in that neurodivergence makes one more prone to as there are with allistic people. Especially given that many of the intuitive social subtexts that will ease things between allistic people are not present on either side of the conversation.

In fact, diverse communication needs can sometimes cause social fallouts between autistic people to be even more catastrophic when they occur.

gigizetz:

gigizetz:

a lot of people have said this already but

warrior!penelope with ares as her mentor

also she’s very in love

status-quo-hater:

I think some of you forgot that autistic people sometimes act strange and say things that are poorly worded and speak with incorrect tone and misunderstand or miss social cues because they are autistic

promise me you'll stay on this site for 10 more years okay?

strange-aeons:

fishmech:

OK now what

ANOTHER 20

zooarchaeologyatdinner:

amayikes:

art-of-mathematics:

If you know you know.

… Extrapolating from incomplete data be like…

This reply deserves to be in its own reblog lmao

I own a shirt that says exactly what the comment above says. And you would not -believe- the number of truly awkward interactions I’ve had that start with someone saying “so what’s the second type?”

raspberrysorbetart:

ballgame:

ballgame:

oh hell yes

But wait, there’s more!!!

ive been thinking about this addition a lot

emergency-broadcast-system:

NO

huffylemon:

whitepeopletwitter:

woolfrost:

yummy pomegranate

cantnotknope:

joanws:

jennytrout:

legit-writing-tips:

fozmeadows:

Watching my toddler figure out how to language is fascinating. Yesterday we were stumped when he kept insisting there was a “Lego winner” behind his bookshelf - it turned out to be a little Lego trophy cup. Not knowing the word for “trophy”, he’d extrapolated a word for “thing you can win”. And then, just now, he held up his empty milk container and said, “Mummy? It’s not rubbish. It’s allowed to be a bottle.” - meaning, effectively, “I want this. Don’t throw it away.” But to an adult ear, there’s something quite lovely about “it’s allowed to be a bottle,” as if we’re acknowledging that the object is entitled to keep its title even in the absence of the original function.

Another good post to read for those writing small human characters. 

My son was about three when he came to me in the middle of the day and said, “Mommy, there’s a knight behind the bush.” I thought he meant a toy knight or something. So I follow him outside and he goes, “Listen. Do you hear it? It’s night behind the bush.” It was a cricket. A cricket was standing in the little patch of shade under the bush, chirping. So, my son saw this dark area with accompanying nighttime sounds and decided, okay, well, that is a night right there. Their brains are incredible.

My little bean knows she’s two, constantly saying proudly ‘I’m two!’ And the other day she saw this very frail old lady who looked one foot in the grave, pulled a face and said ‘oh shiiiit. She’s three.’ I almost screamed.

I live in Korea and have a lot of international friends, and the same is true with language barriers in adults. 

*Looking at a bowl of pears* “Can you please pass me the… apple’s friend?” 

narramin:

this should have been me

tyltalp:

he discovered pvc pipes :)

tyltalp:

he discovered pvc pipes :)

radiation:

was digging through my grandma’s attic and found this SCARY video on her old 1922 iphone…

socialistexan:

socialistexan:

There WAS a sit-in in a different bathroom in the Capitol on the literal same day, two of them happening simultaneously actually, one of men (mostly trans men) outside the women’s bathroom and one of trans women inside the bathroom.

We can do multiple things, y'know? One of which isn’t trying to “shoot up” one of the most secure places on the planet. Also you’re hiding shit in the tags, you’re significantly more of a coward than any of the people in this video.

How is this protest any less valid than an “actual” sit-in? Because there is joy? Because there is dancing? Because the oppressed are expressing anything but dour resignation?

Invention of a Feminist Sound Bite

by Alix Kates Shulman

December 24, 2001

“IF I CAN’T DANCE I DON’T want to be in your revolution,” said Emma Goldman.


Or did she? Perhaps she said, “If 1 can’t dance I don’t want to be part of your revolution,” as my purple T-shirt claims under a picture of Emma looking demure in a widebrimmed hat. Or was it rather, “If I can’t dance to it, it’s not my revolution,” as the quote appears in a 1983 Passover Haggadah?


In fact, though the sentiment is indeed Emma Goldman’s, she wrote none of the above, notwithstanding that each of these versions and more have been attributed to her on buttons, posters, banners, T-shirts, bumper stickers, and in books and articles, for nearly twenty years. Here, rather, is what she did say, in her 1931 autobiography Living My Life:

To quote Emma Goldman in her 1931 autobiography:

“At the dances I was one of the most untiring and gayest. One evening a cousin of Sasha, a young boy, took me aside. With a grave face, as if he were about to announce the death of a dear comrade, he whispered to me that it did not behoove an agitator to dance… My frivolity would only hurl the Cause. I grew furious at the impudent interference of the boy. I told him to mind his own business, I was tired of having the Cause constantly thrown into my face. I did not believe that a Cause which stood for a beautiful ideal, for anarchism, for release and freedom from conventions and prejudice, .should demand the denial of life and joy… If it meant that, I did not want it.”

3000s:

3000s:

if heart had burger

if blood had gift

birdandmoon:

A comic titled "What is a City Pigeon? By Rosemary Mosco." There's a small pigeon shouting through a megaphone. Panel 1: A banner says "It's a Dinosaur. Like all birds, pigeons descended from dinos." A pigeon roars "coooo" over the silhouette of a dinosaur yelling RARR. Panel 2: The banner says "It's a Dove. A city pigeon or Rock Dove is a member of the pigeon and dove family." A pigeon stands in glorious rays of sparkling light, with a halo over its head. Panel 3: The banner says "It's a Domestic Animal. Pigeons were domesticated millennia ago for meat and fertilizer (poop)." A cow stands in a farmer's field, saying "moo." A pigeon looks up at it and says "coo." Both have just pooped. Panel 4: The banner says "It's a Purebred Pet. Like dogs & cats, pigeons come in fancy breeds." There are three fancy pigeons: A Birmingham Roller, with rusty feathers and splotches of white. A Fantail, with its head pushed back and a huge fanned out tail. A Saxon Fairy Swallow, with a crest and huge fans of feathers on its feet. Panel 5: "It's a Feral Animal. Fancy pigeons escaped, blended breeds, and became multicolored city birds." There are four feral pigeons, one with grey streaks over white feathers, one a mix of white and checkered red with a pale red head, one typically colored but with blotches of white, and one all dark grey, standing against a city backdrop. Panel 6: The banner says "It's a Lover. Pigeons mate for life (usually)." There are two pigeons meeting beaks against a trash can and other bits of trash in an urban setting. A label says "trash can date night". Panel 7: The banner says "It's an Indicator of Inequality. Where pigeons have high levels of lead in their blood, people do, too." And there's a footnote to a link to a study. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0045653516308864 There's an image of lead pointing to a pigeon on one side and people on the other. Panel 8: The banner says "It's a Lot of Things packed into a small, familiar form." A proud pigeon stands against an urban background, saying "I contain multitudes."ALT

Because folks liked my latest pigeon comic so much, here’s another pigeon piece!

I made this a couple years ago for a sadly now defunct publication called Pipe Wrench. I hope this piece helps spread more pigeon love.

minnowfishes:

eternally-sugary:

wholeheartedsuggestions:

3l1zzy:

wholeheartedsuggestions:

alternatives to “i want to die”:

  • i want things to change
  • i want a different life
  • today was a shitty day/week
  • i don’t want to live like this
  • i want to be somewhere else in life
  • i’m not where i want to be yet
  • + much more

Here’s a few that I started to say because I thought they were funny so I was more likely to use them!

  • Wack
  • Unfortunate (can be shortened to unforch)
  • Sub-par execution
  • I would prefer the opposite of this, actually
  • Not a fan of this approach
  • Not very cash-money

unforch :)

@beart3a

Instead of calling myself or the things I do dumb or stupid or an idiot/idiotic I started saying I’m being:

It’s helped a lot more than I ever expected it to

therottenkingsreckoning:

charl0ttan:

kinda wish hrt was instant but also very in love with the joy over time of gradually becoming. and not knowing where it will end. if ever

I wanna start HRT at some point, but the thing about my relationship to gender is that I don’t really know where to end goal is here, and feel like I really wouldn’t be able to know until I start messing with things and figure out my boundaries. The journey is the whole point and process here. Unfortunately though, I highly doubt most doctors will accept “fuck around and find out” as a reason to prescribe

freyjawriter24:

queer-human-being:

aegipan-omnicorn:

tenitchyfingers:

“We chose the term “asexual” to describe ourselves because both “celibate” and “anti-sexual” have connotations we wished to avoid: the first implies that one has sacrificed sexuality for some higher good, the second that sexuality is degrading or somehow inherently bad. “Asexual”, as we use it, does not mean “without sex” but “relating sexually to no one”. This does not, of course, exclude masturbation but implies that if one has sexual feelings they do not require another person for their expression. Asexuality is, simply, self-contained sexuality.”

The Asexual Manifesto, Lisa Orlando and Barbara Getz, 1972

Note the date, people:

That’s 1972

29 years before AVEN was started online,

and 47 years before the present.

And that’s only the date that Manifesto was written, so asexuals as members of a community must have existed at least some time before that.

So, no: we are not just Tumblr trenders. Get out of here with that.

supporting my asexual friends and foes by rebbloging this

It’s 50 years this month since the first version of the Asexual Manifesto was written. Aces have been writing about our experiences under this name for at least half a century. We are not an internet fad.

nyancrimew:

reblog this rat until staff gets involved

a rat getting a boop on the noseALT

new-nintendo-2ds-xl:

new-nintendo-2ds-xl:

happy new year! reminder that as of January 1st, 2025, the 1929 animated Disney short “The Skeleton Dance” is now public domain!

I’d like to say “this will find its audience” but the truth is I just didn’t know how to tag this

so either it’ll find its audience or it’ll get like 0 notes

nasty faggotses........

cannibalcaprine:

WHYY IS HOMOPHOBIC SMEAGOL IN MY INBOX

byjove:

t-shirt that says ‘I LOVE BEING ALONE IN QUIET DARK PLACES.’ on the front and ‘I AM NOT A FUNGUS.’ on the back.

babblingfishes:

inklesspen:

falliblefabrial:

acreaturecalledgreed:

the concept and idea of “you can always start trying to be a better person” is extremely important to me both in media and irl and i continue to be deeply deeply disturbed by the trend on this site pushing that these ideas in media are bad writing or even morally reprehensible

because theyd rather someone stay terrible or just straight up die than become a better person 

from a compassionate point of view it’s deeply distressing
and from a pragmatic point of view it’s outright frustrating

it’s fucked up. 

What is the most important step a man can take?

The next.

I think part of the pushback about this is the idea that, to “redeem” bad people, their victims must first forgive them for unforgivable acts.

This is false. No one is obligated to forgive you. You can learn from your mistakes and become the best, kindest person on earth, and the people you’ve hurt still won’t forgive you, and you’ll have to accept that. And that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to grow. Because we aren’t just “pure” or “sinful”, we’re complex.

babblingfishes:

inklesspen:

falliblefabrial:

acreaturecalledgreed:

the concept and idea of “you can always start trying to be a better person” is extremely important to me both in media and irl and i continue to be deeply deeply disturbed by the trend on this site pushing that these ideas in media are bad writing or even morally reprehensible

because theyd rather someone stay terrible or just straight up die than become a better person 

from a compassionate point of view it’s deeply distressing
and from a pragmatic point of view it’s outright frustrating

it’s fucked up. 

What is the most important step a man can take?

The next.

I think part of the pushback about this is the idea that, to “redeem” bad people, their victims must first forgive them for unforgivable acts.

This is false. No one is obligated to forgive you. You can learn from your mistakes and become the best, kindest person on earth, and the people you’ve hurt still won’t forgive you, and you’ll have to accept that. And that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to grow. Because we aren’t just “pure” or “sinful”, we’re complex.

mxlabradorite:

ktempestbradford:

sabra-n:

themardia:

ktempestbradford:

leebrontide:

musefortheages:

leebrontide:

Ok so my kid had an ear infection, right? As kids often do.

The doctor scraped out a bit of earwax to have a better look inside.

I was sent a bill for $200 PER EAR for this 5 second procedure which I did not give permission for them to do.

That was key- they did not ASK me if they could do this “procedure”. And, as I OWN a medical practice (it’s me. The medical practice is me, sitting in my house on video calls) I knew to call them when this bill came in to be like “You did not obtain informed consent for this procedure, and it was not en emergency procedure. You had full ability to gain my consent and didn’t. I’m not paying.”

And the massive hospital who owned the bill said “yuh-huh you do have to pay.”

And I said “I own a practice. I know these laws. I do not owe you money for this.”

And they conducted an “internal review” and SURPRISE! Decided I totally owed them money and they had never done anything wrong ever.

And so I called my state’s Attorney General office, and explained the situation because, as I mentioned, I know the law. The AG got in touch within a couple days to say they were taking the case and would send the massive hospital conglomerate a knock it off, guys letter.

Lo and Behold, today I have a letter where said hospital graciously has agreed to forfeit the payment.

“How not to get screwed over by companies” should be part of civics class.

Know your rights and know who to call when they’re infringed on. This whole process cost me $0 and honestly less effort than I would have expected.

May this knowledge find its way to someone else who can use it.

This post is super cute and all but like…. This isn’t practical advice. I called the AG???? And they got involved over a $200 bill. Maybe because you yourself are a medical practitioner. Not just your knowledge but also your status.

Civics class wouldn’t help most people in this case because the AG will not take on all these cases and most people cannot afford an attorney in this instance or more importantly, the hit to their credit.

The issue is not education over the system, it is the system

I agree the system is a mess but I think education does matter because people seem not to know that this is actually perfectly routine AG office stuff. I’m not the only person who’s done this- this is just what they do?

Were they going to get into a lawsuit over my $400 bill? No obviously not. But they printed up a letter on fancy letterhead to say to stop and it worked. They followed up with me the next day to be sure, and so ask how much money they had saved me.

They use dinky cases like mine to track habitual misbehavior of large scale companies to build cases they could actually go to court over.

And because people are shocked- I never spoke to the AG of my state directly. He operates mainly by overseeing a whole crew of people. And this is what those people do.

This didn’t happen because I’m special because of my tiny therapy practice.

This happened because this is what the AG office is for.

“The problem is systemic” doesn’t mean “and there’s nothing you can do”.

This is a systemic problem but that doesn’t mean there are no resources to help.

Thank you for clapping back on this. I’m here to reinforce. Yes, you CAN call your state Attorney General office when an entity is doing something illegal, even if it’s “only” for $400. You think they don’t care a hospital is doing a crime because it’s not a big enough crime?

Then you’ve been trained well by “The System”.

Yes, that System you say can’t be fought? Where did you get that idea, huh? Who taught you that “small” acts of illegality don’t matter? Who made you think that there’s no point in fighting back because it will all come to nothing?

Might it be the same entities that benefit if you believe all that?

Gonna pause and let you ponder.

Never. Ever. EVER.

EVER.

Let companies or corporations or hospitals or organizations or any business big or small get away with screwing you over without a fight. Maybe you personally don’t win every fight, but you lose 100% of the time you don’t try. You’ll win more often than you think you will. I know cuz I’ve done it.

So have others. Attorneys General offices bring lawsuits against businesses all the time. They do so because citizens contacted them to say “someone is doing a crime” and the crime doers did not stop when told and got into way more trouble than if they’d just stopped. FAFO. The Find Out can’t happen if you don’t even bother to report the Fucking Around.

On that note, as OP said, please know your rights! And, in a situation where you don’t but suspect something is hinky, ask! The people of the internet can help! So can librarians! So can many others. Find out what is and is not okay for them to do. If it’s not okay, report them! See something, say something.

Don’t let the System win by default.

Fight, damnit!

Additionally, pay attention to State Attorney elections! Here in Minnesota, our AG Keith Ellison has made it a POINT to go after slumlords, has created an entire UNIT in the AG office dedicated to wage theft, and gone after debt relief for people who were conned by those scummy fake universities. And despite MN being a blue state, one of his elections was a fucking NAIL-BITER.

Absolutely fight the system, absolutely go to your AG office if you’re being screwed over, and also pay attention to the people running for AG in the first place.

Government of the people, by the people, and for the people only works if the people make it work. That’s you! You’re the people.

“Don’t bother doing anything because nothing will happen” confused cause with effect: it’s really “Nothing will happen if you don’t bother doing anything.” Yeah, I know, it’s a travesty that they don’t hand you psychic powers when you take your oath as a civil servant, but until we fix that clear defect in our democracy: you’re serving the public, too, when you report fuckers like this.

Not gonna leave this in the tags:

hashtag: lazy cynicism is the bane of democracyALT

Suspicion of The System™️ is one of the ways The System™️ perpetuates itself.

If you believe The System™️ is only for Them™️ and not you, it will only ever be so.

Know the rules so you can make them work for you. Or better, how to break them in ways that hurt The System™️ and help you.

conzoop:

gutmunchies:

conzoop:

What’s a little bit of butter smuggling between friends?

what does this MEAN

it means Europe is in turmoil and if it keeps declining we’ll be cheese smuggling by 2028

sorkincel:

sorkincel:

HELP

chaser:

Headline reading "Tupperware somehow even wetter after 8 hours in drying up rack" ALT

Is this relatable fellow youths?

cameleonvermillon:

sometimes your favorite fanfic isn’t a fanfic at all but the insane DM’s between you and your equally freaky mutual

ravioliet:

retquits:

there is something so crazy and powerful about having art of your oc that was made by anyone other than yourself. like oh my god you actually exist outside of my own brain that’s WILD

therottenkingsreckoning:

daily-spooky:

I’m sorry that the rot in your soul has spread so far that you cannot find value in anything not spoken in numbers

thylacines-toybox:

The tiger

He destroyed his cage

Yes

YES

The tiger is out

luminescentmoffgirl:

spoonbenders-archive:

i feel like this is exactly how i sound when i post on here

ROBOTNIK: BEHOLD! 1000 cereals! I collect cereals! It took me NINE yeareals to collect the cereals! yæM yuM Cereals. Goooooood.

SCRATCH: CONGRATULATIONS!

ROBOTNIK: SHUT. UUUUUUP! €€€€€€€£ Ph Ph Ph Pbodhbodhddddd Acsuus Acsuus! FfffUCK STEven universe!

fish-identifier:

i-give-you-a-fish:

toastyglow:

“it’s inscrutable” maybe to you it is. I scrute it all the time

You get a Milkfish

Chanos chanos

i scrute the milkfish

luminescentmoffgirl:

spoonbenders-archive:

i feel like this is exactly how i sound when i post on here

ROBOTNIK: BEHOLD! 1000 cereals! I collect cereals! It took me NINE yeareals to collect the cereals! yæM yuM Cereals. Goooooood.

SCRATCH: CONGRATULATIONS!

ROBOTNIK: SHUT. UUUUUUP! €€€€€€€£ Ph Ph Ph Pbodhbodhddddd Acsuus Acsuus! FfffUCK STEven universe!

certified-door-posts:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

Cant have fucking shit in Detroit

Cant have shit

Okay so door saga

  • The only way into my building is through the front door which locks itself when closed. There’s a back entrance but it’s deadbolted from the inside. This means the only people who can get into the building are me, my cat sitter with the spare keys, and the people living in the other two units.
  • The door to MY unit now… has no doorknob. Impossible to get in.
  • There is a shared BACK hallway that leads to the shared basement/back entrance. My back door into this hall is always deadbolted. EXCEPT, fortuitously, right now, since neighbor (Molly) in unit 2 had heard Patches meowing when alone and offered to spend some time with her, so I had the cat sitter unlock the bolt.
  • This, LUCKILY, means there is A Way into my unit. But it requires getting into the building, then going THROUGH my neighbors’ unit into the back hall, then up to my unit.
  • Cat sitter is effectively locked out from Patches, and won’t be able to get in if not fixed by the next day.
  • Text neighbor about predicament. They’re willing to look at my door bUT (it’s Christmas) they’re not home and not getting home until the next day.
  • Next day, text for an update but hear nothing. (Neighbors aren’t attached to their phones much). Communicate with catsitter saying “okay if I don’t hear back from neighbors, maybe you go over and I contact a locksmith who you can let in?” (since cat sitter has the keys to the building)
  • Catsitter is very not keen on the idea
  • Patches is unaware she’s a prisoner.
  • Hear back from neighbors. Say they should be home around 5pm.
  • Okay… Good Enough… (Patches graze-feeds so Luckily she hasn’t missed any meals but we’re going on 24 hours of house arrest Patches).
  • 6pm comes. 7pm comes. 7:40pm I text asking for an update. Nothing.
  • 8:30pm I’m figuring out what friends I can call to break into my own house. Text neighbor again and notice this text doesn’t go through.
  • Text neighbor’s partner being like “hey sorry, can’t seem to reach Molly–”. Get a text back “Sorry this is Molly on David’s phone! My phone died.” Family Christmas plans ran late but they’re on their way back and will be home soon. Thank goodness.
  • 9pm-ish, they get back, give Patches attention and top up her food. I get a text “David fixed your door!” Woo!
  • Friday 5pm I finally get home
  • Lugging my suitcase up three flights of stairs while I hear Patches meowing like a dying Victorian child
  • Shoes off coat off suitcase down fish out keys unlock door grab doorknob
  • …Doorknob falls off
  • Falls off right into my hands
  • Staring at doorknob. Staring at door. Patches meowing. Shove doorknob against door like an idiot and no it does not go back on.
  • Fucking
  • Go down flight of stairs, knock on Molly and David’s door. David is luckily home. “My doorknob fell off again can I go home”
  • David lets me in. I scoot past their dogs and apparently I startled the more nervous one since she apparently tried to nip at me but I didn’t even notice because I’m like my cat.
  • Get in through the back hall.
  • Patches comes bounding over.
  • My cat.
  • Doesn’t even know she was a prisoner.
  • Doesn’t even know what a doorknob is.
  • Later that night receive a text from neighbor apologizing for the dog and I’m like “I Did Not Even Notice.”
  • Any attempt to leave my house now is perilous until I fix the doorknob.
  • Can’t even leave my door cracked open because I know Patches is gonna shove her stupid little face through it and become the opposite of a prisoner.
  • I wanna go buy a reeces peanut butter cup but by god it’s not worth the risk
  • I’m gonna try to fix the doorknob
  • Or… buy? a new doorknob?
  • On Amazon searching “doorknob”.
  • Merry Christmas

You are completely right because I have now investigated the knob and can confirm the screw holding the knob to bar was loose. I have tightened the screw and it SEEMS fixed but I’m very Fool Me Once on this since my neighbor also thought they’d fixed it.

There is a Home Depot trip in my future. Or maybe an online purchase if Patches would get off my laptop

Merry Christmas I hope I know how to install a doorknob

Complication. Doorknob is here and I tried to install it, but because my door is older than God, the latch-majig (technical term) is offset like an inch higher than the knob. Modern doorknob has the latch LEVEL with the knob.

To swap in the new knob I’d need to cut a new knob-hole an inch higher in the door which

  1. With what tools
  2. That would leave an unused gaping doorknob-sized hole in my door which any robber the size of a weasel or smaller will use to rob my home. I don’t need fucking Redwall in my home.
  3. Probably bad for the integrity of the door
  4. I don’t wanna.

I think what I really want is just the knob like above tags said. Like the knob and the rectangular bar, which I can substitute in for my stripped-bare knob and rectangle bar. I WOULD do this with the new knob, but it’s got two welded-on spokes poking out from the knob.

I can maybe drill two holes for the spokes in my door…?

(Squinting at shitty amazon listings trying to see if any knobs don’t have the two spokes)

(I think the two spokes might be standard.)

Developing new respect for Jesus (carpenter).

In the meantime, because I’d already unscrewed a lot of things I DID take the genius action of flipping my current doorknob around.

This way the side that causes problems is on the INSIDE.

Doorknob fall of while INSIDE house significantly better than doorknob fall off while OUTSIDE.

I’m retightening all the screws.

Patches has offered no solutions.

reply from eak1mouse which reads
If you are looking for the rectangular bit and doorknobs searching for spindle doorknobs brings up a lot of options on amazonALT

So it does!

Never heard the term “spindle doorknob” before so I never would have found this on my own.

They’re also all labeled “vintage” which extra feels right since my door predates the Cambrian Explosion.

Crowdsourcing my door fix on Tumblr dot com! Doorknob 2.0 is ordered.

a reply from zillychu
how many Tumblr users does it take to screw in a doorknobALT

At least 4,000 but we still got time

New doorknob should get here tomorrow, but in the meantime things in the notes of this post:

  • Several dozen stories of other people getting locked in/out of bathrooms/basements/classrooms/bedrooms/buildings. Extra shout out to the person whose classmate managed to do this twice, in rapid4reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesdweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
  • Patches is on my keyboard
  • whose classmate managed to do this twice, in rapid succession, to both sides of a classroom door after being saved the first time.
  • Several people taking this as a sign to go tighten their doorknob screws, including someone whose knob fell off in their hands while doing this
  • 10 or so people reading the “can’t have shit in Detroit” meme to mean I live in Detroit. Sorry to confess I’m a fake Detroitite. Doxxing myself by 0.00001% more by informing the world I live in not-Detroit.
  • Many many people wondering why I’m not pestering my landlord about this. Truth is my landlord is way too sexy, cool, fashionable, smart, pretty, funny, and popular on Tumblr to it’s me. It’s me. I’m me I’m my landlord. It’s my condo. Including, with immense regret, every single doorknob inside.
  • 3 separate professional locksmiths who have reached out offering advice, which is very cool. I have burst into a virtual hardware store clutching my shit doorknob and fainted, only to be caught by three very strong and cool locksmiths rushing to my aid.
  • Person with a story of dogsitting a friend’s Tibetan Mastiff who managed to knock the entire backdoor down. Taking inspiration from this to train Patches in battering-ram techniques, should she ever get locked inside again.

DOORKNOB

ALSO MY PAPER TOWELS

(Ran out of paper towels)

Old knob coming off.

Wretched thing. Accursed knob of woe.

Get undid

New knob reign by forceful coup. Went to great pains to PRECISELY wait Patches is escaping

Patches retrieved

Anyway GREAT care was taken to ensure both knobs are ALIGNED, EVEN, SCREWED ON, with the wait hang on

Patches retrieved again.

Anyway

DOORKNOB SCREWED ON

KNOB

Still gonna keep the emergency screwdriver in the hall for probably the next month.

In conclusion look at my cat

certified door post

certified-door-posts:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

phantomrose96:

Cant have fucking shit in Detroit

Cant have shit

Okay so door saga

  • The only way into my building is through the front door which locks itself when closed. There’s a back entrance but it’s deadbolted from the inside. This means the only people who can get into the building are me, my cat sitter with the spare keys, and the people living in the other two units.
  • The door to MY unit now… has no doorknob. Impossible to get in.
  • There is a shared BACK hallway that leads to the shared basement/back entrance. My back door into this hall is always deadbolted. EXCEPT, fortuitously, right now, since neighbor (Molly) in unit 2 had heard Patches meowing when alone and offered to spend some time with her, so I had the cat sitter unlock the bolt.
  • This, LUCKILY, means there is A Way into my unit. But it requires getting into the building, then going THROUGH my neighbors’ unit into the back hall, then up to my unit.
  • Cat sitter is effectively locked out from Patches, and won’t be able to get in if not fixed by the next day.
  • Text neighbor about predicament. They’re willing to look at my door bUT (it’s Christmas) they’re not home and not getting home until the next day.
  • Next day, text for an update but hear nothing. (Neighbors aren’t attached to their phones much). Communicate with catsitter saying “okay if I don’t hear back from neighbors, maybe you go over and I contact a locksmith who you can let in?” (since cat sitter has the keys to the building)
  • Catsitter is very not keen on the idea
  • Patches is unaware she’s a prisoner.
  • Hear back from neighbors. Say they should be home around 5pm.
  • Okay… Good Enough… (Patches graze-feeds so Luckily she hasn’t missed any meals but we’re going on 24 hours of house arrest Patches).
  • 6pm comes. 7pm comes. 7:40pm I text asking for an update. Nothing.
  • 8:30pm I’m figuring out what friends I can call to break into my own house. Text neighbor again and notice this text doesn’t go through.
  • Text neighbor’s partner being like “hey sorry, can’t seem to reach Molly–”. Get a text back “Sorry this is Molly on David’s phone! My phone died.” Family Christmas plans ran late but they’re on their way back and will be home soon. Thank goodness.
  • 9pm-ish, they get back, give Patches attention and top up her food. I get a text “David fixed your door!” Woo!
  • Friday 5pm I finally get home
  • Lugging my suitcase up three flights of stairs while I hear Patches meowing like a dying Victorian child
  • Shoes off coat off suitcase down fish out keys unlock door grab doorknob
  • …Doorknob falls off
  • Falls off right into my hands
  • Staring at doorknob. Staring at door. Patches meowing. Shove doorknob against door like an idiot and no it does not go back on.
  • Fucking
  • Go down flight of stairs, knock on Molly and David’s door. David is luckily home. “My doorknob fell off again can I go home”
  • David lets me in. I scoot past their dogs and apparently I startled the more nervous one since she apparently tried to nip at me but I didn’t even notice because I’m like my cat.
  • Get in through the back hall.
  • Patches comes bounding over.
  • My cat.
  • Doesn’t even know she was a prisoner.
  • Doesn’t even know what a doorknob is.
  • Later that night receive a text from neighbor apologizing for the dog and I’m like “I Did Not Even Notice.”
  • Any attempt to leave my house now is perilous until I fix the doorknob.
  • Can’t even leave my door cracked open because I know Patches is gonna shove her stupid little face through it and become the opposite of a prisoner.
  • I wanna go buy a reeces peanut butter cup but by god it’s not worth the risk
  • I’m gonna try to fix the doorknob
  • Or… buy? a new doorknob?
  • On Amazon searching “doorknob”.
  • Merry Christmas

You are completely right because I have now investigated the knob and can confirm the screw holding the knob to bar was loose. I have tightened the screw and it SEEMS fixed but I’m very Fool Me Once on this since my neighbor also thought they’d fixed it.

There is a Home Depot trip in my future. Or maybe an online purchase if Patches would get off my laptop

Merry Christmas I hope I know how to install a doorknob

Complication. Doorknob is here and I tried to install it, but because my door is older than God, the latch-majig (technical term) is offset like an inch higher than the knob. Modern doorknob has the latch LEVEL with the knob.

To swap in the new knob I’d need to cut a new knob-hole an inch higher in the door which

  1. With what tools
  2. That would leave an unused gaping doorknob-sized hole in my door which any robber the size of a weasel or smaller will use to rob my home. I don’t need fucking Redwall in my home.
  3. Probably bad for the integrity of the door
  4. I don’t wanna.

I think what I really want is just the knob like above tags said. Like the knob and the rectangular bar, which I can substitute in for my stripped-bare knob and rectangle bar. I WOULD do this with the new knob, but it’s got two welded-on spokes poking out from the knob.

I can maybe drill two holes for the spokes in my door…?

(Squinting at shitty amazon listings trying to see if any knobs don’t have the two spokes)

(I think the two spokes might be standard.)

Developing new respect for Jesus (carpenter).

In the meantime, because I’d already unscrewed a lot of things I DID take the genius action of flipping my current doorknob around.

This way the side that causes problems is on the INSIDE.

Doorknob fall of while INSIDE house significantly better than doorknob fall off while OUTSIDE.

I’m retightening all the screws.

Patches has offered no solutions.

reply from eak1mouse which reads
If you are looking for the rectangular bit and doorknobs searching for spindle doorknobs brings up a lot of options on amazonALT

So it does!

Never heard the term “spindle doorknob” before so I never would have found this on my own.

They’re also all labeled “vintage” which extra feels right since my door predates the Cambrian Explosion.

Crowdsourcing my door fix on Tumblr dot com! Doorknob 2.0 is ordered.

a reply from zillychu
how many Tumblr users does it take to screw in a doorknobALT

At least 4,000 but we still got time

New doorknob should get here tomorrow, but in the meantime things in the notes of this post:

  • Several dozen stories of other people getting locked in/out of bathrooms/basements/classrooms/bedrooms/buildings. Extra shout out to the person whose classmate managed to do this twice, in rapid4reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesdweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
  • Patches is on my keyboard
  • whose classmate managed to do this twice, in rapid succession, to both sides of a classroom door after being saved the first time.
  • Several people taking this as a sign to go tighten their doorknob screws, including someone whose knob fell off in their hands while doing this
  • 10 or so people reading the “can’t have shit in Detroit” meme to mean I live in Detroit. Sorry to confess I’m a fake Detroitite. Doxxing myself by 0.00001% more by informing the world I live in not-Detroit.
  • Many many people wondering why I’m not pestering my landlord about this. Truth is my landlord is way too sexy, cool, fashionable, smart, pretty, funny, and popular on Tumblr to it’s me. It’s me. I’m me I’m my landlord. It’s my condo. Including, with immense regret, every single doorknob inside.
  • 3 separate professional locksmiths who have reached out offering advice, which is very cool. I have burst into a virtual hardware store clutching my shit doorknob and fainted, only to be caught by three very strong and cool locksmiths rushing to my aid.
  • Person with a story of dogsitting a friend’s Tibetan Mastiff who managed to knock the entire backdoor down. Taking inspiration from this to train Patches in battering-ram techniques, should she ever get locked inside again.

DOORKNOB

ALSO MY PAPER TOWELS

(Ran out of paper towels)

Old knob coming off.

Wretched thing. Accursed knob of woe.

Get undid

New knob reign by forceful coup. Went to great pains to PRECISELY wait Patches is escaping

Patches retrieved

Anyway GREAT care was taken to ensure both knobs are ALIGNED, EVEN, SCREWED ON, with the wait hang on

Patches retrieved again.

Anyway

DOORKNOB SCREWED ON

KNOB

Still gonna keep the emergency screwdriver in the hall for probably the next month.

In conclusion look at my cat

certified door post

iatrophilosophos:

melanchovy:

and while we’re on the subject of luigi mangione, FREE NATHAN MAHONEY (who stabbed his company’s CEO during a meeting)! the reason you may not have heard this name is because the police clearly do not want to make the same mistake they did with Mangione by allowing him to become a symbol. let’s show our support for Nathan Mahoney, who looks exactly how he should in his mugshot— proud of himself

https://www.woodtv.com/news/muskegon-county/docs-employee-who-stabbed-company-president-wore-mask-led-police-on-chase/

Nathan Mahoney ALLEGEDLY stabbed the CEO of Anderson Express Inc, a manufacturing company that produces parts for military vehicles, 1 week after being hired by the company. (Unfortunately the ceo has not died)

takataapui:

Want to materially support indigenous rights within 10 minutes?

Make a submission against the New Zealand’s government’s proposed bill that will take away Māori rights. You don’t need to be from Aotearoa New Zealand to submit.

You have until 7th January New Zealand time.

FAQ about the bill here, from a trustworthy organisation.

Guide to writing a submission here. (It’s more aimed at people based in Aotearoa, but is still valuable.)

Submit here.

Examples of international submissions. Please make it your own, as repeated submissions will not be counted.

In 2025, we should all strive to support indigenous rights, and here’s an easy way to do that.

The submission page on the New Zealand government website. Under 'I/We with to make the following comments' is 'I oppose this bill. Indigenous rights are connected everywhere. The New Zealand government has a moral responsibility to comply with Article 37 of the United Nations Declaration for the Rights of Indigenous Peoples which says: Indigenous peoples have the right to the recognition, observance and enforcement of treaties concluded with States or their successors and to have States honour and respect such treaties.

Under 'I/We wish to make the following recommendations' is 'I call upon the New Zealand government to reject this bill, honour Te Tirit o Waitangi and implement the Declaration for the Rights of Indigenous Peoples.'ALT
The submission page on the New Zealand government website. Under 'I/We with to make the following comments' is 'I oppose this bill. Aotearoa-New Zealand is an island nation, in charge of a large oceanic zone and considerable influence over the Pacific region as a whole. The Pacific Ocean plays a significant role in our climate stability as a planet and is best protected when the Indigenous peoples of the Pacific are also protected. As an Indigenous nation who is severely impacted by climate change, I call upon you to lead with climate justice and Indigenous justice at the forefront of your decisions.'

Under 'I/We wish to make the following recommendations' is 'I call upon you to abandon this bill.'ALT
The submission page on the New Zealand government website. Under 'I/We with to make the following comments' is 'I oppose this bill. Honouring Indigenous treaties improves human rights everywhere including Indigenous human rights in Palestine, Kanaky, West Papua and elsewhere around the world.'

Under 'I/We wish to make the following recommendations' is 'I call upon the New Zealand government to reject this bill.'ALT
The submission page on the New Zealand government website. Under 'I/We with to make the following comments' is 'I oppose this bill. Honouring Indigenous treaties leads to better trade policy, better climate policy, better ocean policy and better global human rights policies, which impacts all people on this planet. 

Under 'I/We wish to make the following recommendations' is 'Abandon this bill.'ALT

afloweroutofstone:

I feel like we need a massive public education campaign to inform people that “natural” and “healthy” are two completely different words with separate meanings