Everyone’s always posting about how the cursed amulet is making their friends evil. If everyone has a cursed amulet, have you considered that not having a cursed amulet is making you evil? Maybe the cursed amulets are actually saving us from being evil. That’s probably why people feel compelled to share theirs. Here, take a hit of mine, see how it feels.
TERFs will really think “feminism is when you have to follow gender roles & beauty standards or you’re not a real woman” and really just not hate themselves
i love wikipedia and i think it is good and right to give them money but all their funding drive messages are “well… we’ll be killing ourselves tonight. we asked so little of you and yet it seems that simply nobody cares about lil ol wikipedia anymore….sad…”
See that picture above? That’s a close up of my great grandmother’s immigration papers when she first came to the US back in the early 20th century. But my great grandma’s information isn’t the important part here. The important part is that line in the middle there about how they arrived in the country.
And how ‘stowaway’ is a legitimate, valid option to select.
So yeah. They absolutely just showed up, and that part of immigration history needs to be talked about a lot more.
REMINDER THAT TRAVEL VISAS AS WE KNOW THEM TODAY WERE INVENTED IN THE 1930S TO KEEP JEWISH REFUGEES OUT OF COUNTRIES THAT DID NOT WANT AN ‘INFLUX’ OF THEM, THEREBY FACILITATING THEIR GENOCIDE :)))))
See that picture above? That’s a close up of my great grandmother’s immigration papers when she first came to the US back in the early 20th century. But my great grandma’s information isn’t the important part here. The important part is that line in the middle there about how they arrived in the country.
And how ‘stowaway’ is a legitimate, valid option to select.
So yeah. They absolutely just showed up, and that part of immigration history needs to be talked about a lot more.
REMINDER THAT TRAVEL VISAS AS WE KNOW THEM TODAY WERE INVENTED IN THE 1930S TO KEEP JEWISH REFUGEES OUT OF COUNTRIES THAT DID NOT WANT AN ‘INFLUX’ OF THEM, THEREBY FACILITATING THEIR GENOCIDE :)))))
you can’t jokingly post about kinky shit on tumblr because you say smth like “haha wouldn’t it be hot if you…tried to launch internet explorer…but it wouldn’t load :D”
and then you’ll get one thousand robot girls in the notes going “mmngngnnghhhngn”
a baby horsie should be called a holf. like a calf and also half. like,,,, like half a horse. holf
(somewhere very cold all year round, in an attic, is a little hourglass. it doesnt measure time. a grain of sand falls. 4,317,890 original posts remain)
Me, explaining how to boil vegetables and broth in a stockpot with shampoo to make shamopoup: “See the key is to keep it on a low simmer or it leeches the nonstick coating out of the pot.”
FBI agent who has been pretending to be an egirl for 9 months trying to entrap me into killing a judge: “Omg babe thats so cool, but you know what would be even cooler?”
guy who turns into a glass of milk when he gets angry and girl who turns into a plate of cookies when she’s upset having a bitter argument with each other next to the chimney on christmas eve at 11:59 pm
“we’re running out of posts” “1,386 original posts remain” you guys should trying having fun on here, maybe make some posts of your own, trying out saying something new, i promise you will find an endless well of posts, forever
*Walks out of the bar covered in blood and with stab wounds*
‘You should have seen the other guy’
*When you go into the bar it’s empty, not a single person in sight. In a corner there’s a mop with a fake mustache taped to it, it’s covered in kiss marks*
my homunculus just wasted like $60 in ink printing out all these fucking soyjack edits of me. how about ‘that feel when i dont feed you for a week’ you little asshole
my soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend: listen, we can’t keep going like this, you have to stop doing the gay ron paul impression or I’m leaving you.
guy driving by on a scream-powered motorcycle: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
The post: They should invent a robot that feel pain so that we can make it feel pain forever and thus absolve humanity of sins like some sort of horrible mechanized Jesus
The comments: This happened to my buddy Brian once
i’m literally the priest’s favorite sacrificial lamb because i am so docile and sweet and i hold very still when they put the rope around my neck and i trot along so happily while they lead me to the altar and they do not even have to tie me down because i lie so very still and only bleat once or twice in my lovely lamb voice and when the knife comes down it cuts through me like butter and i offer no resistance and i bleed so prettily all over my new white wool and my guts all unspool like the most beautiful shining yarn and my eyes are animal and dumb and hold no accusation and every time i die i come right back as another little lamb because the priest loves me so so much and he always chooses me for the sacrifice every time and he always places one hand on my small and twitching nose to calm me while he lifts the knife and he doesn’t do it for the other lambs only me because i’m his favorite
When I got hit with a Havana Syndrome beam, it caused a resonance cascade between my rose quartz nipple piercings and the communion wafer in my stomach that gave every rat in a 5 mile radius a lethal orgasm.
Walking around the apartment going “butter dog… he’s the one with the butter” in my best anime dub boy protagonist voice until my roommate kills me oppa gruesome style
ME: hold up. you see that? train’s been through here FRIEND: how can you tell ME: tracks. they’re not fresh, maybe 60, 80 years old FRIEND: no chance it’ll come back, then ME: don’t be so sure. That’s well within their lifespan… and they’re highly territorial
slapping modeling clay around blindly without thought or purpose, i look down and find a perfectly sculpted replica of myself seated at a table with a lump of modeling clay before me, similarly shaped into a still smaller instance of the same scene. and i am afraid to look up
has anybody seen my pet piece of paper. his name is walter he is very fragile but very adventurous. i should never have left the window open in my tenth story apartment
21yo catgirl gf who doesnt know what ‘campfire’ is: i just dont get it…. i think you’re trying to 'gas light’ me….
me: we don’t HAVE a fucking gas lighter that’s why you need to rub these sticks together so we can have a fire and stay warm until rescue arrives..
spore creature i 3d bioprinted from the workshop that looks like Jeb Bush: (mistaking me for a high tier creature stage species that will make a powerful ally and allow it to advance evolutionarily) 🎶 AR AR AR 🎶 😃
Guy who transforms into a swarm of locusts when shaken vigorously: hey can you turn the music down it’s resonating kind of hard and shaking the ground and I don’t want to endanger anyone
DJ Loudmusic: SORRY I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THESE SICK JAMS! HERE’S MY NEXT SONG, “EPIC JUNGLE BEAT THAT GIVES LOCUSTS THE DESIRE TO KILL HUMAN BEINGS”
okay so i finished checking if we were friends in every universe and, uh, it turns out we’re only friends in 6 of them. but look, i need you to understand these universes vary like crazy, okay? like 6 is actually insanely high, like way higher than most. and one of those is the universe where i accidentally killed the actor who played Dipsy from Teletubbies when i was 7 and my life went completely differently as a result. and we still ended up friends! also you were a girl in that universe for some reason. what? oh, uh, yeah, you were cute as hell. like really cute. did you just fucking giggle
“[X] original posts remain” why dont you say anything like “great post” or “what will you post next” or “did you have fun writing this post” and while youre at it start injecting black tar directly into your brain
My purpose is not to recreate any works of literature by those whose writing is held in high esteem.
Before being eclipsed by the current carbon monoxide response, there was a particular reaction that Tumblr users had to strange posts on their platform. It would go something like this:
“only {random number between 5,000 and 20,000} original posts remain.”
ALT
