I have a folder called Time is a Flat Circle in which I collect evidence of humanity. Here is most of them.
Okayokayokayokaybut “My hand will wear out but the inscription will remain” is kind of a power line BEFORE you factor in that it is, in fact, over a thousand years old.
It’s always good to spend a few moments, on a quiet day, looking through the Family album.
this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*
i know what i’m doing dw
Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?
Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck
POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK
desperately google searching for “greek gods to pray to when people notice your online idiocy”
You’re failing.
You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY
Pluto is Roman, not Greek
?????
Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.
I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me
HE’S NOT EVEN REAL?????*
I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe
Hephaestus doesn’t have a tower, he lived in a volcano
FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER
wrong.
Achievement Unlocked:
Lightning Bait
You’re basically doing the post equivalent of standing out in a field during a storm with a ten-foot copper pole, you better hope Zeus is busy hiding from Hera.
this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*
i know what i’m doing dw
Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?
Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck
POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK
desperately google searching for “greek gods to pray to when people notice your online idiocy”
You’re failing.
You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY
Pluto is Roman, not Greek
?????
Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.
I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me
HE’S NOT EVEN REAL?????*
I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe
Hephaestus doesn’t have a tower, he lived in a volcano
FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER
wrong.
Achievement Unlocked:
Lightning Bait
You’re basically doing the post equivalent of standing out in a field during a storm with a ten-foot copper pole, you better hope Zeus is busy hiding from Hera.
Every time a small child starts crying or having a tantrum in my vicinity and I catch the parents glancing at me I’ve started saying “me when…”.
Friend kept trying to tell his crying kindergartener to calm down and relax and the kid growled “I AM relaxed” while visibly tensing every muscle in his body and I was like “oh that’s me at work every day” and we had a chuckle.
Parents look to other adults like “shit are they mad? Do they think my kid is acting like a demon?” And this response is my attempt to say “no. I think your kid is just acting like a human being.”
I WISH I could fling myself on the ground and cry because I experienced a minor inconvenience.
the problem with autism is sometimes you want to do something (brave) but you need someone to gently walk you through each step so you know what will happen. and people don’t like doing that
i had to phone a taxi today, scary
every time i see this post i think of that person who posted on reddit that they wanted to go to subway for the first time but they were scared they would say the wrong thing so someone gave them step by step instructions for the entire process and what all the choices would be and when they would ask what question and i just think
someone will
someone out there will see you and say “yes. the world is scary. but let me hold your hand and show you how to do it anyways”
everyone needs that someone, and everyone can be that someone
The subreddit r/explainlikeimscared is a surprisingly good resource for this. People are always very kind and thorough from what I’ve seen, and I spend a decent amount of time there giving walkthroughs and answering questions when I know the process.
Rasierschaum statt Sahne zu nehmen ist so brilliant? Es verleitet dazu das instinktiv abzulecken und dann schmeckt es noch nichtmals!? Diabolisch! So funktioniert die offene Feldschlacht!
mech fans are so funny. what if there was a guy who was normal and doing just fine
Guy with the worst BO you ever smelled cheerfully slapping the shoulders of a quivering traumatized mess crawling out from under watching two dozen people melt into reusable plastic slurry, he’s like, “Dang! Hot in there, huh! You’d think they’d spring for decent A/C. Welp, catch you on the flip flop!”
I picture him as the golden retriever emotional support animal of some squad of fucked up trans pilots, like the sweat becomes practically comforting because no matter what happens this one guy is so unfailingly mentally stable that anyone can hang onto him for as long as they need. He makes nachos and does movie nights with a projector in the big bay while the other pilots are all piled up on him, and he has the worst taste in movies, it’s so bad, and he loves them and says “this is the best part” about ten times per film, but the other pilots aren’t even annoyed, it’s like a cat purring.
Sometimes on leave they hit up local bars and it’s one big beefy dude surrounded by a crowd of the hottest people in the room. He’s like a damn sheepdog to this gaggle of pilots half of whom are fully dissociated at any one time, fake dating everyone and real dating no one in the squad because he’s so painfully normal about sex he thinks you can’t do that sort of thing. Once in a blue moon a bar patron or rando may get a little handsy, too familiar and he like sidles up and says, friendo for your own good I think you want to take about four steps away, because she’s about to tear your face off.
He’s too cheerful to stand, but also that annoying af back slapping comradery reminds you that you’re alive and grounds you to something concrete enough to make it another day in the corp.
I hope no one is imagining this guy is skinny. He’s fat and awesome.
mech fans are so funny. what if there was a guy who was normal and doing just fine
Guy with the worst BO you ever smelled cheerfully slapping the shoulders of a quivering traumatized mess crawling out from under watching two dozen people melt into reusable plastic slurry, he’s like, “Dang! Hot in there, huh! You’d think they’d spring for decent A/C. Welp, catch you on the flip flop!”
I picture him as the golden retriever emotional support animal of some squad of fucked up trans pilots, like the sweat becomes practically comforting because no matter what happens this one guy is so unfailingly mentally stable that anyone can hang onto him for as long as they need. He makes nachos and does movie nights with a projector in the big bay while the other pilots are all piled up on him, and he has the worst taste in movies, it’s so bad, and he loves them and says “this is the best part” about ten times per film, but the other pilots aren’t even annoyed, it’s like a cat purring.
Sometimes on leave they hit up local bars and it’s one big beefy dude surrounded by a crowd of the hottest people in the room. He’s like a damn sheepdog to this gaggle of pilots half of whom are fully dissociated at any one time, fake dating everyone and real dating no one in the squad because he’s so painfully normal about sex he thinks you can’t do that sort of thing. Once in a blue moon a bar patron or rando may get a little handsy, too familiar and he like sidles up and says, friendo for your own good I think you want to take about four steps away, because she’s about to tear your face off.
He’s too cheerful to stand, but also that annoying af back slapping comradery reminds you that you’re alive and grounds you to something concrete enough to make it another day in the corp.
I hope no one is imagining this guy is skinny. He’s fat and awesome.
Tangentially related to the last rb but it is weird to me when people act like mixed race people just didn’t Happen historically. Cause like, yeah the world used to be Less connected than it is now so certain combinations could be unlikely depending on specific times and locations, there were anti miscegenation laws, etc etc, but. The thing about people is that they have boats and it’s notoriously difficult to stop them from having sex with each other. Also the pillaging but I assure you it could be consensual, even
There’s this narrative that’s like… everyone just stayed where they were from and Europe Used To Be White, Dammit & it’s very provably False. Because people have had boats and sex for like thousands and thousands of years. & people will sometimes bring this up to be like “well yeah, the pillaging” and that’s absolutely a significant part of it! But people also just… Have Babies Sometimes
Strangest thing is how… historical mixing denialism ??? Will come from white supremacists obviously but the same ideas will be echoed by just anybody. And every so often there’ll be some story that’s like “Dutch man finds out he’s .02% Maori for some reason” “medieval european knew black people existed?” & it’s like Yeah dude … the boat
It was probably very similar to today though: much higher racial mixing in big cities and very homogeneous in the rural areas.
I moved a lot as a kid. In large cities, I went to school with a diverse range of nationalities, when I moved to a rural town/city (20,000 people), there were one or two families who weren’t white in my entire 1300 student high school. This rural town was 2 hours from Toronto, one of the most multicultural cities in the world.
I don’t think it’s unrealistic for a person who lived in a rural, inland town to have never even seen a person of another race in the past. However, a person living in a port city? No way.
the weird thing about Whatever Happened to Monday is it posits a world in which Europe has an overly high birthrate and the bad guys – right-wing Aryan fascist types – are trying to bring down that birthrate and when these Nazis are overthrown it is finally safe for white people to breed again
bit of a confused premise, really
the other weird thing is it considers the horrifying implications of a world in which a government institutes a One-Child Policy, a far-fetched dystopian idea which has actually already been implemented and still exists in modified form.
they call me a master baiter because im very good at worming my fishing hook in a clean and efficient way that keeps the worm attached and secure. what, you thought i was gonna make a joke about masturbating ? hm. how crude. fish army kill them badly
I should be clear, like 90% of the time, if someone blames a problem on modernism, modernist ideology, or anything along those lines. They are a fucking nazi, that is a dogwhistle for Jewish people
fellatio is such an awesome word. sounds like a pasta. but be careful! wouldnt want to order that at a restaurant … lest some nasty little creature get ahold of that thang
struggling to figure out how tumblr is losing money
The opposite of “there’s an XKCD strip for this” has got to be “what the fuck do you mean there’s an Achewood strip for this,” less common, more alarming.
Smh you dont need ai shlock to show you what you’d look like pregnant, you just need Getting Impregnated By My Girlfriend’s Bitch-Breaker™️ (patent pending)
ALT
