December 2024

funny-tik-toks:

laughterkey:

professorfangirl:

ultimateventist:

charlesoberonn:

If something is ‘old as fuck’ then it’s about 1.2 billion years old because that’s when life evolved sexual reproduction.

 

However, if something is “old as balls” it’s only about 65 million years old, when placental mammals began to evolve proper testicles.

Thanks, science side of Tumblr. Or is it the historical side?

eversoslightlybitter:

moniquill:

I recommend following up “That sounds like some weird Nazi shit” with “Do you think that’s a normal thing to say?”

Really makes people reevaluate their behavior

syakesan:

syakesan:

syakesan:

America be like “you cant have free healthcare or easy access to disability but you can have a gun”

no healing, no living, go KILL

This post was really fucking funny in hindsight

connorconfinement-deactivated20:

whatever you call this pngs (pt 1)

miyoriia:

theconcealedweapon:

she transitioned

skarabrae-stone:

winged-mammal:

The tool, called Locate X and made by a company called Babel Street, then narrows down to the movements of a specific device which had visited the clinic. This phone started at a residence in Alabama in mid-June. It then went by a Lowe’s Home Improvement store, traveled along a highway, went past a gas station, visited a church, crossed over into Florida, and then stopped at the abortion clinic for approximately two hours. They had only been to the clinic once, according to the data. ALT
In other words, someone had traveled from Alabama, where abortion is illegal after the June 2022 overturning of Roe v. Wade, to an abortion clinic in Florida, where abortion is limited but still available early in a pregnancy. Based on the data alone, it is unclear who exactly this person is or what they were doing, whether they were receiving an abortion themselves, assisting someone seeking one, or going to the clinic for another reason. But it would be trivial for U.S. authorities, some of which already have access to this tool, to go one step further and unmask this or other abortion clinic visitors. ALT
This sort of surveillance is only possible because of the mobile advertising ecosystem. Location data is sometimes used to build profiles on device users and better target advertisements to them. Much of that advertising relies on a MAID, the unique advertising ID, on a phone. The MAID acts as the digital glue between a device and its associated data.ALT

anyway yeah DELETE YOUR FUCKING ADVERTISING IDS

Android:

Settings ➡️ Google ➡️ all services ➡️ Ads ➡️ Delete advertising ID

(may differ slightly depending on android version and manufacturer firmware. you can’t just search settings for “advertising ID” of course 🔪)

iOS:

Settings ➡️ privacy ➡️ tracking ➡️ toggle “allow apps to request to track” to OFF

and ALSO settings ➡️ privacy ➡️ Apple advertising ➡️ toggle “personalized ads” to OFF


more details about the process here via the EFF

Okay, but also, don’t bring your phone with you if you’re doing something that could get you in legal trouble. You can get a burner phone (such a tracfone) and prepay for minutes using cash if you need to. But if you don’t want to be tracked, the most foolproof plan is to not bring a device that can track you. (Don’t bring your laptop, either.)

sizeabletoblerone:

vegetavegetason:

correctopinionhaver:

a-sentient-cup:

covid-safer-hotties:

@official-megumin

theconcealedweapon:

roach-works:

the-haiku-bot:

something-lemonade:

velveteenbxnny:

kerosene–angel:

sea-anon:

I don’t know how many boys follow me, but I gotta bet there’s some. I just wanna tell y’all to be careful.

Abusive girls exist and what they’re doing is seen as like “badass tough don’t take no shit” but your girl should not hit you. Ever.

She should not demand for you to hand over your phone to look through.

She should not yell at you and humiliate you either alone or in front of people.

She shouldn’t make you distance yourself from your friends or family.

She shouldn’t scratch you or twist your arms.

She should not call you names.

She shouldn’t tell you ‘she’ll kill herself if you break up’

These are just a few examples of abuse and it’s just seen as okay when girls do it and god knows I’ve fallen victim to it a few times, but you shouldn’t have to.

Never worry about not being in a relationship. If they’re worth it, they won’t hurt you.

No one has the right to hurt you.

I wish someone had told me that these things are actually abuse. I would have been able to escape my ex so much sooner. Reblogging to help other people in similar situations

🚨PSA🚨

My stepmom was extremely abusive to my dad, using these tactics


It was dismissed by others as her “being a strong and independent woman”

For the love of God don’t take this shit. Break it off immediately

For the love of God

don’t take this shit. Break it off

immediately

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

oh yeah this is a big one i hear of a lot: women should not destroy your things to punish you. if a woman breaks your cell phone, your game console, even (and especially) your toys, THIS IS THE MOTHER OF ALL RED FLAGS and you’re in danger. real actual serious no shit danger. little children break things out of anger! when a grown ass woman breaks your stuff, she is asserting her (nonexistent) right to hurt you whenever and however she wants when she does this, and most people won’t take it seriously for what it is. don’t rely on outward support or validation here, just get out and don’t look back.

your partner does not have a right to destroy your property. period.

estonia-officially:

estonia-officially:

callese:

refseek.com

www.worldcat.org/

link.springer.com

http://bioline.org.br/

repec.org

science.gov

pdfdrive.com

holy fuck

also https://bloomlibrary.org/

hollowboobtheory:

ppl are saying the United ceo was “visited by the ghost of Christmas future” but honestly if I was a ghost trying to scare someone straight I can’t think of a single thing I’d change. yeah you’re gonna get gunned down in the street like a dog. no the meeting isn’t getting canceled. yeah your colleagues are going to step over your body. people will cheer. everybody on the internet is going to have a crush on your killer. the cops are gonna compliment his form. the reward for your killer is only $10k. stocks will go up.

noellevanious:

anthropicscholar:

noellevanious:

hospitals are a scam because they dont even give your blood back after taking it to do tests. like come on

the testing process is uh… extremely destructive

you really don’t want the results of it back

in fact, if anyone offers to put it back, that’s a threat.

i literally see the red around your mouth you drank it you fucking dracula. you cant fool me

larval-tear:

larval-tear:

if you are ever set upon by elven assassins in the cursed forest you can easily disable your attackers by gently rubbing or nibbling their soft, sensitive ears

but be wary as they may react to this maneuver by trying to have sex with you. you can turn this vile trick on its head by having sex with them

uss-edsall:

uss-edsall:

if we draw lines that link every single berlin in the US to every single other berlin in the US we will find the true location of Berlin
the Berlin superposition as it were

True Berlin is in only one place that is closest to all of the other intersecting lines, and it is in fact in Ohio, next to Ohio’s Decoy Berlin

beezusjones:

joffyworld:

spiderin-space:

Pre-Banishment and Post-Game

Aauuehehehehe AHHHHHHHHHHHH

toskarin:

steve harvey: what’s the worst thing a man can hear from his friend?

<buzz!>

contestant: demon sword technique, quickening of the soul?

steve harvey, face settling into a bitter smirk: it’s been so long… but I could never forget. to do so would be to lose him all over again.

<board turns over to reveal the top answer, sound system playing only the cries of distant carrion crows and the low roar of winter>

thearcaneuniversity:

ok, this is amazing. I found a great site with short stories in 34 languages!

WorldStories is a growing collection of stories from around the world. The collection includes retold traditional tales and new short stories in the languages most spoken by UK children.

We are adding new stories, translations, pictures and sound recordings every week. So keep coming back to enjoy new content!

i-am-a-fish:

man.

planefood:

I got a new fursuit! Twos a party, huh? Introducing: Safari! The Savannah cat

The suit was a pre-made made by the lovely RAWRBARKS their suits are so comfy and cute

planefood:

googiekitsch-deactivated2024071:

my friend @planefood got sent to the hospital because he laughed too hard at this picture of opilia bird dressed as superman that i sent repeatedly to him, so to honor his memory i composed this memorialsong for him because he has died from laughing at thebird. please like and stream it is what he wouldve wanted, we willalso be playing this at his funeral on repeat

Opilia Bird, Garten Of BanBan (Hospital Mix)Kaz (Ft. Opilia Bird Superman)

its true i got inflamed soft tissue damage from laughing too much and they thought i was having a cardiac arrest

planefood:

It’s starting to be that time of year where me and all the other white people have to brawl for any spots of shade like a hoard of minecraft skeletons in a desert or the ultra violet rays of the sun will blast us all to Hell

planefood:

Furrys often instigate all sorts of very stupid drama, but my least favourite of the bunch is drama surrounding artists selling their art for “too much” when often the artists they target are making minimum wage or less. Even going as far to harass artists and their clients over it. Yeah, real accepting of independent artists you guys. I can smell jealousy from a mile away

violetsoup:

planefood:

I think the idea of art style regression is typically very ableist or just puts unnecessary pressure on artists. But also I think some people are often too stupid to realise that artists use different styles for different things

the concept of art style is so dumb anyway. just draw however you feel like, and there’s really no need to box yourself into a distinctive visual style just to appeal to the masses, or make yourself feel all fancy or whatever

kadekuro:

roadrunnerposting:

reallyreallyreallytrying:

an ice cold beer topped with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. lying on top of the ice cream foam is a salted peanut. this is the angel. around him are sprinkles (his tears). this is “the angel’s lament”, my new cocktail

Sure, why not. ‘Angels lament’

jenny-dreadful:

frot-cember-deactivated20241214:

dorothylarouge:

Oh they’re never finding this guy

their next plan will be assembling a team of top phrenologists to determine who in Manhattan has the skull structure of an assassin

frot-cember-deactivated20241214:

dorothylarouge:

Oh they’re never finding this guy

their next plan will be assembling a team of top phrenologists to determine who in Manhattan has the skull structure of an assassin

cockyroaches:

jomarston:

[based on this]

In case the original pic is ever lost to time

pileofknives:

mousettte-deactivated20241119:

henpillled-deactivated20241123:

i make a mean soup

Now make one that is beautiful and true

charl0ttan:

“you are one of gods strongest soldiers” i say, not even believing in either of those institutions

Y-you can’t touch me, it’s against the law for you to touch me!!! This is racism!!! You can’t grab me I’m calling the police!!!

(Person who just got caught stealing a 10 inch dildo and doesn’t know how the laws work)

fuck-customers:

Posted by admin Rodney

girlballs:

girlballs:

it’s kinda awesome how there’s beautiful women

whoa. chat is this true

memeuplift:

homofied:

geminibullshit:

sindri42:

impaled:

trashboat:

theshittyfoodblog:

The stuffed chicken breasts did not go as planned

Make sure to follow me on Instagram @theshittyfoodblog: http://bit.ly/2Bk7pUa

were you cooking this in the sewer

Chernobyl fleshlight

Guys I found it. The two worst words to put together.

Arguably the worst post on this site

Arguably the worst post on any legal site

burningfudge:

shamebats:

I think we owe an apology to the Americans, looks like at least some of the issues with their healthcare system can be addressed with guns

american problems require american solutions

switchkick:

everythingfox:

In his habitat

officialdragonslayr:

wooudln’t midn havign soemthign to eat todya

please

busty-shackleford:

radiofreederry:

I am both of these people mentally

Modern Au Narinder to lamb on text:

"you up?"

(featuring my cat , Murrit)

strawdool:

u are absolutely right also ur cat is the cutest <3

hobo-rg:

feelboss:

lmfao theyre trying to erase EVERYTHING huh.

fun fact: the identities of the “beneficial owners” of all publicly traded companies incorporated in the USA are considered public records and you can look them up on the Securities and Exchange Commission’s website

it takes a little digging but if you put the company’s name into the “search filings” box and then restrict to “insider equity awards, transactions, and ownership” and then go through all the forms you can put together a complete list

rain-droplet:

polenball:

teaboot:

academicblorbo:

willpressleverfordopamine:

Me too

I am losing it with the idea that crows hold a grudge for their entire life and even beyond

I also like the idea of a 17-20 year old crow grandpa thinking “hmmmm… may be it is now time to fogive”

The audacity of potential forgiveness is what actually kills them

jokes aside here crows in captivity can live up to 30 years so really they forgive a lot sooner than a lot of us

Seda was DEFINITELY an ugly ass baby

bogor-o:

correct

accelldraws:

she made some to share! 🐶🍪

jakud:

Page from the comic Modern Carapace: "O Bounty Of Thy Ribs" featuring the giant blue mecha Tarantula Hawk, her orange banner blowing in the wind behind her back. She is walking through the Ribs, an arid canyon. There is a trail of footprints left by a juvenile but nonetheless gargantuan creature.ALT

After a few years’ worth of work I finished my first comic, Modern Carapace: O Bounty Of Thy Ribs, and I haven’t shut up about it since. If you like kaiju or mecha, I think you’d get something out of it!

I’ve been donating half of my proceeds to different charitable organizations, and wanted to share I’m now raising funds for Sanctuary Supply Depot, a mutual aid organization providing supplies and apparel to our unhoused neighbors in the Twin Cities area. Their work is increasingly crucial as winter arrives, and making sure the unhoused can endure the season can be a matter of life and death.

I post about this book a lot because I’m proud of it (and don’t have a lot going on other than very slowly working on follow-ups), but if you’re incentivized to also do some good for people in our present, increasingly awful circumstances, that’s all the better. Thanks!

wizardlyghost:

wizardlyghost:

itsagifnotagif:

There is a parallel universe where Tumblr is actually a great functioning site

its exactly as shitty but every other social media site is worse by comparison