The local vampire coven has become convinced that you are an elder vampire, due to your immunity to sunlight and garlic, and have made you the leader of their coven. There’s just one problem; you’re not a vampire. You’re a were-bat.
i’m so glad goncharov happened when it did, right before prolific public use of AI. that was pure honest gaslighting straight from the heart. real human whimsicality and trickery thru blood sweat and tears. we were a family. and we all gonched, together. you cant replicate that with any machine.
Gibberish mistakes like the original source arent even going to be funny anymore. Half the magic was that somehow this nonexistent movie was proposed by a SHOE.
Now that kind of nonsense can be so easily chalked up to poorly trained AI, it’s never going to be a funny surprise ever again. It will just be banal. Goncharov was the last one.
I love William but man, he’s not very good at being a villain. He is evil, but he’s not skilled at it. Let me explain. Functionally, he’s an ever-present background character up until he’s Springtrapping about, so you know he’s up to something, but it’s mostly kept in the dark. But the more I think about it, the less confident I am in his ability to actually like. Be a proper villain. He’s got the guts to murder, but can he follow through on any of his plans? “Oh, I will put you back together, let’s revive my dead son.” That didn’t exactly work out. I don’t think he’s very good at (intentionally) reviving the dead. As we can see, he did not put that kid back together. At all. “I’m going to sacrifice children for my evil experiments.” And now your own animatronics are trying to destroy you because you gave them vengeful souls. That didn’t go great. “Let’s immortalize my family!” They’re all dead. “Let’s immortalize myself!” Congrats! You’ve been consumed by the Mold. He is a fascinating character and I could unpack him for days, but part of why I like him so much is that despite the harm he causes purposefully, the harm he causes accidentallyalways seems so much worse. Yes, he intended to kill Cassidy, that’s a violent deed of his decision. But he didn’t have a good plan for if she turned into a vengeful spirit, because I don’t think he thought that far ahead. He wanted to make himself immortal, but then he conveniently forgot that in order to live forever in this world, first, you must die— and then he died as grossly as he could, and got his soul stuck in the gnarliest immortal state. They don’t go into the details of what he wanted to do to bring his family back, but if the implications say anything, yeah, maybe we don’t want to see William try to put his son back together, literally. That probably got really bloody. William wants to be an evil mastermind so bad, but every time I picture him realizing the consequences of his actions, I can almost hear him going “oops. You know, I didn’t think we’d get this far.” He is a threat— there’s no ignoring that. But he’s almost incompetent when you realize he’s not very good at taking lives or restoring them. He just shows up, causes carnage, and springlocks himself. And honestly? That’s iconic. He’s one of the most memorable antagonists simply because he screws up so much as quickly as possible, kills everyone, dies, comes back, and does it again. I love him for that.
i would like to formally offer yoshitada minami full and sole ownership of my orifices thank u for inventing the rice cooker it can only do one thing but it does it so well i have never been happier with a purchase if i had to choose between a rice cooker and literally any other appliance i would always choose the rice cooker lifting the lid and finding a perfect bowl of fluffy basmati is nothing short of magical it actually makes me want to live another day if rice cooker has million number of fans i am one of them if rice cooker has ten fans i am one of them if rice cooker have only one fan and that is me if rice cooker has no fans that means i am no more on the earth if world against the rice cooker i am against the world i love #rice cooker till my last breath die hard fan of rice cooker hit like if you think rice cooker best appliance & smart in the world im rice cooker’s right hand arm man im rice cooker everything im his confidant his best friend his silly rabbit his what his silly rabbit his silly rabbit yes is that what he calls you no
i would like to formally offer yoshitada minami full and sole ownership of my orifices thank u for inventing the rice cooker it can only do one thing but it does it so well i have never been happier with a purchase if i had to choose between a rice cooker and literally any other appliance i would always choose the rice cooker lifting the lid and finding a perfect bowl of fluffy basmati is nothing short of magical it actually makes me want to live another day if rice cooker has million number of fans i am one of them if rice cooker has ten fans i am one of them if rice cooker have only one fan and that is me if rice cooker has no fans that means i am no more on the earth if world against the rice cooker i am against the world i love #rice cooker till my last breath die hard fan of rice cooker hit like if you think rice cooker best appliance & smart in the world im rice cooker’s right hand arm man im rice cooker everything im his confidant his best friend his silly rabbit his what his silly rabbit his silly rabbit yes is that what he calls you no
being inside a slime or some kind of ooze is actually really enriching for adventurers and lets them explore new avenues of self expression so if you want to make an adventurer really happy you can throw them into one of us
okay I know that this was supposed to just be a funny haha whatever thing. but dear god this annoys me so much.
children aren’t seen as human.
when you go to school, you get put in a tight room with 15-35 other emotionally volatile children who you might have known for years. you have to ask to go to the bathroom and sometimes you get told no. you’re taught that the one size fits all system that will always, inexplicably, not work for your brain, is the only way education is. you literally eat prison food (I’m serious, the same people who make prison food make school food in the US.)
and, of course, if your american, (which it seems like op is) you run the risk of getting killed.
adults always act like children are completely unaffected by capitalism but the truth is we aren’t. the education system has been hijacked to glorified prison to make good workers and not actually reach anything to empower children. ‘oh children don’t have to work’ fuck all the way off.
Where are my fellow touch-starved “I want to be kissed and held but only by one specific person that I haven’t met yet and that likely doesn’t even exist and if anyone else touches me I will bite their head off” aroaces?
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this is the oldest post on all of tumblr, posted in october 2006 before the website even launched publicly in 2007.
Going on the poor people website and telling everyone they should wallow in boredom if they can’t afford entertainment is less effective than you might think
A thread on Twitter this morning. Guys, don’t pirate comics. Please. Comics is a very small (mostly) creator run industry, so when you scan or torrent a comic, you’re directly hurting the creators. Even if you pirate comics from major publishers, you’re really only denying the creators of their income.
Artists/writers who work on comics make next to nothing. It’s commonplace in the comics industry for the people that make them to be constantly struggling to make ends meet. Just buy a book here and there. Support a Patreon. If you like the work, support it. We work very long hours to make the content you’re enjoying. We would like to not have to worry about how we’re going to buy food while we do it.
Today I cried a little bit because I remembered that when Beethoven conducted his ninth symphony for the first time he got a standing ovation and one of the sopranos had to turn him around to see the audience.
I have never recovered from this illustration by Scott Cameron for Barbara Nichol’s “Beethoven Lives Upstairs.”
South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol’s attempt to impose martial law collapsed after 190 Members of Parliament barricaded themselves into the National Assembly chamber and voted to end martial law while the military tried to break in to stop them before they could vote. Many members had to climb a fence at the back of the building to break in to get a majority of the 300 member body in the room to vote.
Can you imagine trying to explain this to a 3rd century crisis Roman general?
Maximinus: “So the… ‘president’ had the army surrounding the legislature? So he gets to be emperor now, right?”
“Well, almost, but then the lawmakers got into the building and voted that the army had to go away.”
Maximinus: “So the army went in and killed them, right? The lawmakers didn’t have any swords.”
“Well, no. Because they voted the army couldn’t do that.”
Maximinus: “But couldn’t they just do it anyways?”
“Sort of? But then everyone would be really mad and it would get even worse for the president.”
I feel like Maximinus would actually get this perfectly? He might think that these are unusually law-abiding soldiers, who exhibit rather a lot of the old Republican virtue; but nonetheless “willing to prevent the Senate from getting a quorum, but not to defy the edict of that quorum” actually feels kind of Roman to me.
Person with a mullet wearing a muscle shirt in a garage: You might think these are some normal cowboy boots, they ain’t. These are boot scooters. [Takes wheels out of dusty boots and stomps them on the ground] If you ain’t bootin’…You ain’t scootin’. [wheels away and runs into a fridge]
It’s very important to know that when he runs into the fridge, the ceiling light turns on
we should just do each others dishes more. there is no punchline at the end of this text post. dishes suck and they’re often the first thing that falls to the wayside when someone is depressed, or having a bad time, or just plain busy. i cannot tell you how many times i have just had my glass of wine or a joint standing at the kitchen sink - sure, we could sit on your couch, but if we’re just going to talk and vibe anyway, i might as well do these for you. it’s an act of simple love. i never feel more grateful than for the people who come into my home and share domesticity as friendship. it’s neither a burden nor a chore to help; theyre not my dishes. they’re yours. and we can do them together.
i came home from work last night at 1am to see my former housemate sitting on my couch playing my xbox, and she had done all my dishes. love really can be simple, and love is domesticity for us. try a little tenderness. you’ll be amazed at what will grow
we should just do each others dishes more. there is no punchline at the end of this text post. dishes suck and they’re often the first thing that falls to the wayside when someone is depressed, or having a bad time, or just plain busy. i cannot tell you how many times i have just had my glass of wine or a joint standing at the kitchen sink - sure, we could sit on your couch, but if we’re just going to talk and vibe anyway, i might as well do these for you. it’s an act of simple love. i never feel more grateful than for the people who come into my home and share domesticity as friendship. it’s neither a burden nor a chore to help; theyre not my dishes. they’re yours. and we can do them together.
i came home from work last night at 1am to see my former housemate sitting on my couch playing my xbox, and she had done all my dishes. love really can be simple, and love is domesticity for us. try a little tenderness. you’ll be amazed at what will grow
Everyone look at the cat blanket I made like .. 3 years ago
Btw don’t believe any Etsy ad or things trying to sell this pattern to you. It’s been free since the 90s. It’s very simple, just double crochet and color changes. Be sure to weave in ends as you go unlike me
its always so funny to me how these people think the world works–where lithium et. al being mined by slaves for neocolonialist corporations to enrich the global north at the expense of the global south is not a result of historically or socially contingent relations of production which can be transformed but instead an immutable property of Lithium, the Slavery Mineral, like its atomic mass or melting point.
adhd paralysis sucks bcuz im just sitting there and my brain is like
YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME
no work done no rest gained. literally no point of this at all
just wanted to share these executive dysfunction comics i am so sorry to whoever drew them these have been saved on my phone for like 6 years
bad news, euclid fans! i just disproved his assertation that parallel lines don’t intersect for their entire infinite length. i walked along them for approximately 8.6 x 10⁸ km and you know what i found? that’s right, a tangle.
they don’t touch for the rest of their infinite length though, i did check. in both directions.
i’m sorry that’s my fault i was walking along that stretch earlier and accidentally tripped and tangled them up and i couldn’t get them untangled and i thought no one would notice i’m so sorry
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