being sexually attracted to a people without the romantic attraction (eg. aroallos, bisexual hetero/homo roms, etc) will make so many people think it warrants the worst purity culture ass shit i stg. like no that bisexual homoromantic man is not misogynstic for not romantically liking women. no that aroallo is not just a whore that sleeps around and breaks hearts. you all need to unlearn this shit. being lgbt is not some cutesy clean thing. there are going to be ‘unsavoury’ identities. there is going to be identities that you think are 'too weird’. my advice? get over yourself.
Also good on these people for taking the aggressively petty route instead of falsely registering their pets as service animals
I love how everyone intentionally interpreted this not as “your dog must be small” but “your dog must be in a bag”
“aww cute!! big doggies in ba-”
*cry-laughing as i hit the reblog button*
I’m going to point out that this sounds like the system working as intended bc if your dog is actually currently in a bag its not going to like, run off and bother other passengers or piss/shit where is not supposed to.
Like, yep. This works. If your dog’s well behaved enough to stay in a bag, THAT’s when it’s allowed on the subway.
That last comment was my EXACT thought.
This is actually one of the most effective kinds of laws, because it tricks people into complying with the spirit of the law by making them think theyre rebelling against the letter of the law.
It’s okay to be scraping by. Even if you would rather be doing better, even if you technically could be doing better. Sometimes the weight of things just pushes us down. Keep moving forward, even if is slow. In time you will be back where you want to be.
You know the Grimm version of Snow White makes more sense than most versions if only because in that version Snow White was like 7 years old.
Like imagine you find a 7 year old in the woods and she’s like my mom is gonna kill me because I’m prettier than her and she’s not kidding. You know this queen is that sort of person. So you and your roommates adopt the kid and tell her don’t talk to strangers. And she keeps talking to strangers and getting poison combs stuck in her hair and whatnot.
Like yeah that’s kinda stupid but also she’s seven. She likes apples.
Also imagine it from the hunter’s perspective. The queen tells you this bitch is prettier than me I need you to take her out in the woods and kill her. And then you see who you’re supposed to kill and it’s a 2nd grader. Like how are you supposed to react to that sort of situation? Kill a human child? No. Because you’re not a brainless evil minion you’re just some guy dealing with a cartoonishly evil monarch. Of course you let her go.
Bad look for the Prince of course. Even if she did age while she was in that glass case. He saw a dead woman and just decided to keep her. And once she stopped being dead he was like we’re married now
He did cause the evil queen to dance to death in red hot shoes though. That was kinda cool.
With the acknowledgement that I’m grasping at straws, is it ever directly confirmed that the Prince wasn’t also 7?
See, I think that still works.
You are the guardsman assigned to protect the eight-year-old Prince. You are currently in the middle of the forest because he absolutely had his heart set on “going hunting”, and the royal second-grader should definitely not be traipsing around the woods on his own. You let him go a little on ahead and he comes running back talking about how there’s a dead girl in the clearing and there’s no-one else around and he wants to take her home because she’s really pretty, Hans, and she’s all alone!
You let him drag you to said clearing and okay, that is one angelic-looking dead child alright, and on the one hand the quality of her clothes and the craftsmanship on the coffin (who builds a see-through coffin?) speak to potential Consequences if you simply carry her off, but also for the amount of vines that have grown on the coffin she looks extraordinarily un-decayed, so you should probably get the court alchemist’s opinion on that, and there’s no way he’s going to come all the way out here in his embroidered velvet curly-shoes. And also this kid is technically assigned by God as your natural superior, or something.
So fine. You hoist the coffin onto your shoulder (it’s not like the Prince can do it. He’s eight.) and head back toward the castle, Prince chattering blithely all the way. And then you turn your ankle on a rock and suddenly there’s a thump and a cough and a lot of shouting from inside the coffin and you have now become a key player in a tense political incident with the next kingdom over.
You should probably ask for a raise.
We are in favor of just about any fairy tale ending with “you should probably ask for a raise.”
[Image ID: Tumblr reply from avatarvyakara reading: …this being said, my vote is for the Prince to be around eight. Kissing someone to wake her up becomes a lot more innocent when it’s the typical thing one does to members of a happy family
Reply from OP what-even-is-thiss reading: @/ avatarvyakara In the Grimm version he just sees her dead in her glass coffin and wants to keep her and she wakes up because of the servants carrying her trips and knocks the apple out of her throat. /End ID]
wroughtwheat:
I think it went unsaid Snow White was mistaken for a saint. thus why the prince took her coffin#this was old times of pious ideology#if a body never decayed. thats a top mark the person was a saint and such deities HAD to be housed in a church#to the prince saw this perfect girl in a clear coffin of unknown origin. makes sense he’d think she was divine somehow and be properly house
You know the Grimm version of Snow White makes more sense than most versions if only because in that version Snow White was like 7 years old.
Like imagine you find a 7 year old in the woods and she’s like my mom is gonna kill me because I’m prettier than her and she’s not kidding. You know this queen is that sort of person. So you and your roommates adopt the kid and tell her don’t talk to strangers. And she keeps talking to strangers and getting poison combs stuck in her hair and whatnot.
Like yeah that’s kinda stupid but also she’s seven. She likes apples.
Also imagine it from the hunter’s perspective. The queen tells you this bitch is prettier than me I need you to take her out in the woods and kill her. And then you see who you’re supposed to kill and it’s a 2nd grader. Like how are you supposed to react to that sort of situation? Kill a human child? No. Because you’re not a brainless evil minion you’re just some guy dealing with a cartoonishly evil monarch. Of course you let her go.
Bad look for the Prince of course. Even if she did age while she was in that glass case. He saw a dead woman and just decided to keep her. And once she stopped being dead he was like we’re married now
He did cause the evil queen to dance to death in red hot shoes though. That was kinda cool.
With the acknowledgement that I’m grasping at straws, is it ever directly confirmed that the Prince wasn’t also 7?
See, I think that still works.
You are the guardsman assigned to protect the eight-year-old Prince. You are currently in the middle of the forest because he absolutely had his heart set on “going hunting”, and the royal second-grader should definitely not be traipsing around the woods on his own. You let him go a little on ahead and he comes running back talking about how there’s a dead girl in the clearing and there’s no-one else around and he wants to take her home because she’s really pretty, Hans, and she’s all alone!
You let him drag you to said clearing and okay, that is one angelic-looking dead child alright, and on the one hand the quality of her clothes and the craftsmanship on the coffin (who builds a see-through coffin?) speak to potential Consequences if you simply carry her off, but also for the amount of vines that have grown on the coffin she looks extraordinarily un-decayed, so you should probably get the court alchemist’s opinion on that, and there’s no way he’s going to come all the way out here in his embroidered velvet curly-shoes. And also this kid is technically assigned by God as your natural superior, or something.
So fine. You hoist the coffin onto your shoulder (it’s not like the Prince can do it. He’s eight.) and head back toward the castle, Prince chattering blithely all the way. And then you turn your ankle on a rock and suddenly there’s a thump and a cough and a lot of shouting from inside the coffin and you have now become a key player in a tense political incident with the next kingdom over.
I really hate a lot of the advice on the Internet about taming birds.
So much of it is literally “isolate your birds so they bond to you instead of each other” or “clip your bird’s wings so it can’t get away from you when it feels nervous.” I’m no expert, but that’s fucked up, man.
My advice for winning over untamed birds:
Include the bird in your daily routine. Eat, read, and do activities in their presence.
Figure out a treat the bird enjoys.
Spend time with the bird while offering them this treat, directly from your hand if possible.
Go up to but not over the limit of the bird’s comfort with you. When the bird is nervous, back off.
Accept that you cannot force anyone or anything to love you.
Love the bird anyway.
ALT
I’m other news, my housemates and I are redoubling our efforts in Operation: Teach Cheese to Love.
I can verify that you are absolutely correct because that’s pretty much exactly how two of my great-grandmothers tamed a shitload of wild-wild songbirds and a condor, respectively.
Gallus, hang on: a condor??? Please elaborate.
It was like 1910, the migratory bird act didn’t exist and neither did much modern conventional wisdom re: not messing with the wildlife.
Great-grandma Agatha lived in Big Sur, where condors are endemic and weren’t remotely endangered at the time
One of the local birds had decided her garden shed roof made a good sunning perch and then started following her around while she did the garden because they’re curious birds.
California Condors are like three and a half feet tall standing up and Agatha was 4'10" so she didn’t exactly intimidate the creature, and she liked “having a dog I don’t have to bend over to pet”.
Condors, being intelligent and curious animals, clocked immediately that this woman wasn’t going to be a problem and would sometimes give him fun snacks or play games (she taught him tricks), so he hung about the place, roosting on the shed and getting very protective of her and the property in general.
He also brought his wife and children to hang around the place but was apparently kind of a jealous boy who would get nippy if she paid more attention to another bird than him.
Which was good, because there was an unfortunate amount of anti-irish sentiment in the area, and against her house, my other great-grandma Florence and their four children. So a flock of birds with wingbeats hard enough to knock a man out and the ability to projectile vommit acid was a handy thing to have about.
I think his name was Gregory, but I’m not sure.
“Tamed A Condor For Fun” is one of the less insane things Agatha did.
it makes it 100% better that i can’t understand her, i feel like i’m hearing what cats hear
Heh, she’s speaking Portuguese! Here’s what she’s saying:
*baby voice* “… and if you have any questions, just ask me! And now… yeah. And now you draw the roots. You draw them all twisted up! Got it? A flower? Now draw it. Did you get it, Luis Roberto? Did you get it, Jurandir? Look. Did you get it? That’s how you draw a flower.”
Luis Roberto and Jurandir are people names (Jurandir is especially a name associated with older men) so it’s extra funny that the cats are named that, heh.
Black Friday is such a joke nowadays. “Don’t miss out on 30% off” don’t piss me the fuck off. People used to hit each other over the head for a microwave that’s how low the prices were. People literally died. We used to be a country
that’s kind of a funny thought tbh. imagine having to try like eighty people for having killed one person even though the footage clearly shows one guy firing the gun
Best part of non-American twitter is that sometimes Trending In [Country] will just be a set of loose words that people from your country happen to be using a lot today.
