“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.
People who give pets a bit of chocolate when they know it’s their pets last day are a bit of a funny concept. Imagine being old and friends with an alien who will live ten times your lifespan and they’re like “ah shit he’s dying, well since you’re dying anyway haven’t you always wanted to know what uranium tastes like?”
In this scenario have you been asking to share the alien’s uranium desserts for your entire friendship?
Well to be fair if I was friends with a heavy metal-eating alien and he LOVED uranium and loved to put it in various forms in his alien desserts or ate it on its own sometimes and his species had a guy who made intrictate edible uranium scuptures that everyone on Krunglr (Saturnian tumblr) lost their shit over then yeah I’d be quite curious too
Okay but if I knew 100% it was my last day and there was a Buffet of Things That Would Kill Me like. Why wouldn’t I nibble a little uranium. For science.
HOW THE HELL DO I WUNGLE A TEXT I GOT THE PLUGIN BUT I DONT SEE ANYTHING . IS THIS A LIBREWOLF ISSUE
it shouldn’t have problems… Wait a sec
i'm trying to use your extension and i'm running into a very strange bug where the class you're trying to pick up posts from (".zAlrA") doesn't seem to actually exist on my dashboard..? like i tried searcing for it in inspect element and there's no elements with it
Whst???
I have no idea what that class actually represents, I just saw it always appeared on the thing I needed
hmmmmmmm
Can you open a GitHub issue and upload a zipped Ctrl+S of your Tumblr dashboard on there
We need to bring back the bait fish because sometimes it feels like yall can’t tell when someone is trolling you
Look at him! He’s so cute and he knows that someone posting stupid, brain dead or offensive comments is just trying to get you mad, and you should make fun of them for that.
You must read between the lines.
I don’t know how many boys follow me, but I gotta bet there’s some. I just wanna tell y’all to be careful.
Abusive girls exist and what they’re doing is seen as like “badass tough don’t take no shit” but your girl should not hit you. Ever.
She should not demand for you to hand over your phone to look through.
She should not yell at you and humiliate you either alone or in front of people.
She shouldn’t make you distance yourself from your friends or family.
She shouldn’t scratch you or twist your arms.
She should not call you names.
She shouldn’t tell you ‘she’ll kill herself if you break up’
These are just a few examples of abuse and it’s just seen as okay when girls do it and god knows I’ve fallen victim to it a few times, but you shouldn’t have to.
Never worry about not being in a relationship. If they’re worth it, they won’t hurt you.
No one has the right to hurt you.
I wish someone had told me that these things are actually abuse. I would have been able to escape my ex so much sooner. Reblogging to help other people in similar situations
🚨PSA🚨
My stepmom was extremely abusive to my dad, using these tactics
It was dismissed by others as her “being a strong and independent woman”
For the love of God don’t take this shit. Break it off immediately
For the love of God
don’t take this shit. Break it off
immediately
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
God please please PLEASE do it it would be so funny. 1 week without brazilian beef and usamericans will no longer be able to Imagine A Hamburger
2 weeks without Saudi oil and half the states will secede
Me when I’m very smart and a good politician: “I should impose tariffs on every country in blue. Surely this will not backfire horribly”
I always thought rushing the dedollarization process would be risky but now I see that we could topple the US government overnight if we do it. Thank you comrade Trump
Now I see why liberals think Trump is a Russian asset. By being so aggressive towards BRICS, he’s willing to sink his own country. Truly the first third-worldist US president
Leelah Alcorn was a trans girl, a teenager, who sadly committed suicide nearly 10 years ago. I’m happy that her comic touches the hearts of so many people, years after her death.
I saved screenshots of her blog and last message to the world. Her parents had a lot of control over how she was perceived after her death, but it was also to prevent deletion by Tumblr itself. Even back then, Tumblr has been shadow banning trans women on this platform.
My heart goes out to all trans women who are struggling with society’s expectations of who they are supposed to be and who they are allowed to be. May you find peace, growth, and respite from whatever you’re going through. You deserve happiness, most of all. Thank you for living, thank you for being here with us.
In other news I’m officially retiring from joking about French people they have too much on their plate already what with the fascism
I think we might all have to collectively set nationalist joking on the high shelf til we figure out if anyone is making it through the whole worldwide fascism uptick tbh.
things you need to read 100000 times per day when you’re working
It’s so funny I’m doing this because it’s not my tweet even but like. For all the clever lawyers in the comments this tweet is clearly not talking about the police. In such situations it’s not even called being in trouble it is called “being arrested” or the like. It’s about like, you can’t be in trouble for putting your elbows on the table, making a mess, dropping a glass, being unsociable at an event you don’t want to go to. Because that’s for kids, and you’re an adult. This is quite evident to anyone who can understand the intended and obvious meaning of words
And for everyone being like “but your boss!!!!” I am self employed I posted this tweet while thinking about how I felt guilty for charging market rate for my work instead of discounting. Happy for you or sorry that happened though.
contrary to popular belief not everyone has an innate sense of internal gender or care to have one or seek a name for it, some people go their whole lives without questioning their occupation in one of two gender roles, but for some people, if pressed, they don’t feel that internal sense of ‘i am a woman’ or ‘i am a man’, and in that case i feel the switch over to transgender vs cisgender relies on active identification of a gender other than the one they were assigned. if someone’s like ‘idk dude I just work here’ then that’s valid
A portion of people in the notes are like ‘but that makes you trans. That’s called being agender’ and another portion of people are going ‘this is how the majority of cis ppl feel and it’s NOT agender’ and personally I feel like both of them are missing the point here. Yes a lot of people identify as agender because of this feeling. Yes a lot of people with this same feeling still identify as cis. These are not mutually exclusive experiences and it doesn’t mean the agender people are secretly cis or the cis people are secretly agender. It just means they have very similar experiences of gender that they choose to conceptualize and label differently, and neither of them are mistaken or wrong to do so.
Titanium not only is crazy durable, but it noo magnet! Thas wy Dock chok jjiun spi; surgyr ad pater noster, qui es in cœlis; sanctificetur nomen tuum: Adveniat regnum tuum; fiat voluntas tua, sicut in cœlo, et in terra. Panem nostrum cotidianum da nobis hodie: Et dimitte nobis debita nostra, sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris: et ne nos inducas in tentationem: sed libera nos a malo.
dude got hit with the ol’ Lorum Ipsem beam😞
Fun fact! Titanium is often used for medical implants because it’s *dodges lorem ipsum beam* because it’s strong, nontoxic, won’t corrode inside the body, and best of all, *dodges* bone will directly grow onto it! This is called “osseointegration” and it means that your titanium artificial hip, dental implant, or whatever will have greater *dodges* greater mechanical stability and will ARRRGGH! aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit!
i get that people are more comfortable with defined rules and structure but i also think queer people lost when they started resorting to dictionary definitions for what labels mean
the queer umbrella is meant to deviate from the norm of rigid boxes and definitions and to decide that lesbian means Only this, bi means Only this, etc, is directly contradicting what queer means. each and every label is going to have a unique meaning to the person using it and that is how it’s supposed to be. if you’re not comfortable with that…sorry?
basically if someone tries to tell you you’re using a label wrong:
no you’re not
eat them
[image description: a set of tumblr tags from @/elinaline, reading: “#there is a way to use a label wrong actually; #its when you force it on someone else”. end image description.]
this is the only answer i’ll accept thank u everyone for your participation <3
I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don’t want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they’re heading to the funeral, but usually they just don’t want to talk about it and that’s fine. But I always treat the flight like it’s a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that’s never enough, that’s whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a “Seriously??” And that’s my in! Now I can say “Why, what’s your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let’s see it.” And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it’s always super funny, so I laugh, and that’s where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I’m like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you’re going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.
Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said “What did the ghost say to the other ghost?” And I said “What?” “Nothing. Ghosts aren’t real.”
I’m literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job
Ah, but yes you can! Ordinary Sausage on youtube has spent years providing content for anyone who’d like to see just what would happen if you made a sausage out of whatever you can think of:
Recently Mr. Sausage has also been putting more time into his non-sausage videos, including stuff like Chicken Boiled in Nuclear Green Kool-Aid and Carbonated Eggs. Check it all out if you aren’t prone to being easily grossed out.
anytime a woman starts talking about the “bonds of sisterhood that inherently exist between all women” you just know they bullied the weird girls in high school
of course the TERFs found this and of course theyre pissed cuz they are exactly the kind of woman this post is about
why does viva la vida by coldplay always go so hard. i hear those opening strings and instantly im a cynical and mournful king walking through his overthrown kingdom like oh shit I totally did used to rule the world!!! I used to roll the dice and feel the fear in my enemies’ eyes but now im literally sweeping the streets I used to own!!!! idk what it is about this song but for some reason i can’t explain
