December 2024

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

piplup grain entrapment

piplup cares a lot about his work

piplup reports on the company’s finances. layoffs are inevitable.

piplup takes a sick day

piplup considers some jorts

piplup forgives his father.

piplup goes grocery shopping

piplup jumps your battery

piplup lights the menorah

piplup sees the pale blue dot

piplup catsits

piplup hides a zombie bite from you

piplup studies plein air

piplup goes overboard at shopping therapy

piplup tells you it’s a fiction. we made it up.

unixtmdev:

your-fav-got-an-abortion:

MINECRAFT STEVE from MINECRAFT got an abortion!

Minecraft joke

the-real-gmail:

the-actual-ocean:

The Entirety of Tumblr from Tumblr has been Chucked in to the ocean! You’re all wet now.

Hehe >:)

tboy-chloe-price:

“Oh, so should I care about not hurting men’s feelings?” You should care about not hurting anyone’s feelings. That’s like pre-k shit. You’re an adult, you should know that

huellitaa:

“match my freak!” match my sweetness. match my benevolence. match my empathy. match my ability to feel emotions so deeply it tears me apart from the inside out

orphelia4:

Angel in the darkness

iftye:

spotify unwrapped where they give you top 5 songs you skipped upon hearing the first note

cannibalchicken:

shadythetortie:

sergeant-angels-trashcan:

404-son-of-a-shepherd-not-found:

keyhollow:

lirisa:

vampiregirl2345:

Vegans of tumblr, listen up. Harvesting agave in the quantities required so you dont have to eat honey is killing mexican long-nosed bats. They feed off the nectar and pollinate the plants. They need the agave. You want to help the environment? Go back to honey. Your liver and thyroid will thank you, as well. Agave is 90% fructose, which can cause a host of issues. Bye.

So let me get this straight ,vegans should stop eating the food of the Mexcian long-nosed bats, because the bats need it, and instead vegans should instead eat honey, the food of bees, that their larvae need, even though the bee populations are facing ecological issues as it stands. 

10/10 post, dude.

Did you forget the whole part where only excess is taken and all their needs are met and then some orrrr?

Like, did you read it orrrrr?

Anyway, BUY HONEY SAVE BEES

It is a 10/10 post. Because OP is right.

Bees do not suffer when beekeepers take their honey, because experienced beekeepers do not take all of their honey, in fact, they leave plenty of honey left for the bees to consume over the winter. If we do not collect their honey, 1 of two things will happen.

1. they will leave for a bigger home. Which at first seems fine until you remember that bees are dying very quickly out in the wild.

or

2. They will start using the areas that they reserve for their young as a place to make more honey. This is bad because if no more young are being produced, then the hive will start to die out because no new workers are coming into the world, and the average live only 150 days, so it would also mean the loss of more bees.

So yeah, eating honey isn’t inhumane at all. In fact, you’re helping the bees by eating what they produce and giving money to the bee keepers who are the ones making sure that the hive will keep being healthy.

LOUDER FOR THE VEGANS IN THE BACK: use honey, not agave! Bees need your support and other animals need agave! Using honey means more bees!!

Other animal products that are absolutely fine to use because they produce it in excess:

- Wool. Sheep need to be sheared or their wool will get excessively large, matted and gross. Its legit just a haircut. Calm down and use wool instead of whatever fake acrylic microplastic shit they have in stores now. Wool is super warm, insulating, and guess what! It grows back! Its a renewable resource and all the sheep want in return is some good pasture and protection from predators.

- Eggs. I’m not talking about storebought eggs. Go to your local farmer’s market. Find someone around with chickens/ducks. These birds produce eggs literally every day and will not stop unless they are molting, brooding, or kept in the dark for most of the day. Like I am not joking when I say you can very easily find someone with poultry and they will beg you to take some eggs. Theres so many. Please. Take some duck eggs. I dont want them. I had 8 laying ducks last year. Thats 8 eggs every day. Thats 2 dozen eggs every THREE DAYS. Thats SO MANY EGGS PLEASE TAKE SOME EGGS

Reducing animal cruelty does not mean abolish the use of animal products. Go eat honey. Go use wool. Go find a friend with birds and eat eggs, or get your own. Just because it comes from an animal does not make it cruel.

shadythetortie:

sergeant-angels-trashcan:

404-son-of-a-shepherd-not-found:

keyhollow:

lirisa:

vampiregirl2345:

Vegans of tumblr, listen up. Harvesting agave in the quantities required so you dont have to eat honey is killing mexican long-nosed bats. They feed off the nectar and pollinate the plants. They need the agave. You want to help the environment? Go back to honey. Your liver and thyroid will thank you, as well. Agave is 90% fructose, which can cause a host of issues. Bye.

So let me get this straight ,vegans should stop eating the food of the Mexcian long-nosed bats, because the bats need it, and instead vegans should instead eat honey, the food of bees, that their larvae need, even though the bee populations are facing ecological issues as it stands. 

10/10 post, dude.

Did you forget the whole part where only excess is taken and all their needs are met and then some orrrr?

Like, did you read it orrrrr?

Anyway, BUY HONEY SAVE BEES

It is a 10/10 post. Because OP is right.

Bees do not suffer when beekeepers take their honey, because experienced beekeepers do not take all of their honey, in fact, they leave plenty of honey left for the bees to consume over the winter. If we do not collect their honey, 1 of two things will happen.

1. they will leave for a bigger home. Which at first seems fine until you remember that bees are dying very quickly out in the wild.

or

2. They will start using the areas that they reserve for their young as a place to make more honey. This is bad because if no more young are being produced, then the hive will start to die out because no new workers are coming into the world, and the average live only 150 days, so it would also mean the loss of more bees.

So yeah, eating honey isn’t inhumane at all. In fact, you’re helping the bees by eating what they produce and giving money to the bee keepers who are the ones making sure that the hive will keep being healthy.

LOUDER FOR THE VEGANS IN THE BACK: use honey, not agave! Bees need your support and other animals need agave! Using honey means more bees!!

Other animal products that are absolutely fine to use because they produce it in excess:

- Wool. Sheep need to be sheared or their wool will get excessively large, matted and gross. Its legit just a haircut. Calm down and use wool instead of whatever fake acrylic microplastic shit they have in stores now. Wool is super warm, insulating, and guess what! It grows back! Its a renewable resource and all the sheep want in return is some good pasture and protection from predators.

- Eggs. I’m not talking about storebought eggs. Go to your local farmer’s market. Find someone around with chickens/ducks. These birds produce eggs literally every day and will not stop unless they are molting, brooding, or kept in the dark for most of the day. Like I am not joking when I say you can very easily find someone with poultry and they will beg you to take some eggs. Theres so many. Please. Take some duck eggs. I dont want them. I had 8 laying ducks last year. Thats 8 eggs every day. Thats 2 dozen eggs every THREE DAYS. Thats SO MANY EGGS PLEASE TAKE SOME EGGS

Reducing animal cruelty does not mean abolish the use of animal products. Go eat honey. Go use wool. Go find a friend with birds and eat eggs, or get your own. Just because it comes from an animal does not make it cruel.

thecolorsfucked:

thecolorsfucked:

thecolorsfucked:

thecolorsfucked:

thecolorsfucked:

thecolorsfucked:

cashapp: $unfriendlyblackwitch venmo: @unfriendlyblackwitch paypal.me/cispiciousALT
bank account screenshot balance is -$105.90ALT

hiiiii so someone blessed me last round of poverty and i paid some bills got some groceries even consistently ate lunch 🥲

but then my overdraft rules stopped applying(system change over last month prolly? idfk) and some extremely small charges FUCKED my account all the way up

i have 4 days off bcuz i took off for a concert i cant even go to anymore annnnnd i am


NOT DOING GREAT 😂 so if anyone feels like

throwing some help towards my servant class queer mixed every other traumacore pimpdump i got like help? im starting school next month im doing my best which isnt great and itd be nice if this was easier idfk

nothing yet 🥲

25/105.90

im crying about my orphan(usa version) life and holidays are coming up and everything hurts this time of year a lil extra

i have a ko-fi too i just forgot

can someone just send $20 so i can get catfood and litter for the boy

the boy that was mentioned, a long haired fat tabby licking his noseALT

charl0ttan:

my constant stream of thank yous and sorrys will save me from the ass beating i have coming for the crime of having needs

seldnei:

This feels relevant, somehow.

Oh, look what came up as I searched for that tweet. Huh. Interesting.

toskarin:

toskarin:

to me, the funniest recurring beat in journey to the west is someone seeding the idea that maybe they shouldn’t trust sun wukong and it works every single time because, given literally everything he says and does, it makes a lot of sense not to trust sun wukong

sun wukong when someone distrusts him because of the things he says and does with some regularity:

platycryptus:

whatever. Go my scarab

thegryffe:

droct0:

wait I reblogged this yesterday but I only now realized it’s not just a png but a non repeating gif

depsidase:

dougwt:

depsidase:

This looks like it is based on data from 2009, so imagine what the chart would look like updated to include the additional wealth funneled to the top during the events of the past 15 years.

omg. i didn’t even check the dates. that’s my bad. ya it’s much worse now.

depsidase:

dougwt:

depsidase:

This looks like it is based on data from 2009, so imagine what the chart would look like updated to include the additional wealth funneled to the top during the events of the past 15 years.

omg. i didn’t even check the dates. that’s my bad. ya it’s much worse now.

derinthescarletpescatarian:

gonzos-humansona:

Yesterday my little brother told me something very sweet and touching, that when he was a kid and had nightmares about monsters chasing him or whatever he would be able to end the nightmare by finding me in the dream and I would protect him by fighting off the zombies, or carrying him away. This is adorable, and makes me feel like the greatest older sibling in the world, but the hilarious thing is that when I was a kid I had nightmares of needing to save him from zombies and such. so many dreams where he was in trouble and I needed to save him. Like my nightmares began where his ended. Low key I think he mastered the ability to psychically transfer his nightmare to me as a child and I’m kind of annoyed with him.

You two were having an ongoing portal fantasy adventure together in your dreams and wrote the whole thing off as nightmares

official-megumin:

mousegirlheart:

mutuals please do this to me

@a-sentient-cup

sealsdaily:

Today’s Seal Is: The Warmth Of A Sealy Hug

astroaurastuff:

*bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk*

specialagentartemis:

Saw a post pointing out that the idea of a Saturday-Sunday weekend is in itself cultural Christianity being applied to the whole “secular” world, that in Israel the weekend is Friday-Saturday and in some Muslim-majority countries the weekend is Thursday-Friday or only Friday (in others it’s Friday-Saturday as well.)

Anyway to make a truly secular and inclusive world I propose a Monday-Wednesday work-week and a Thursday-Sunday weekend. I think anyone of any or no religion could all get behind this.

fantasticbreaddragon:

Just your imagination.

dr-john09:

Ass

Atleast he knows that spider butt’s aren’t just butt’s.

caats:

growlingven:

growlingven:

growlingven:

Scary dom girls deserve to be the little spoon

They also get to wiggle their ass against you and sigh comfortably and tell you to hold them tighter

You have to hold them tighter when they ask. Not because they’re ordering you to. But because even scary dom girls get chilly and want you to warm them up. Because scary dom girls want to feel safe. Because you can make them feel safe. So you gotta. You gotta hold your scary dom girl and kiss their neck a bit and say that you’re so glad you get to hold them like this. And that they can always ask you for anything. Not just because they’re always so good to you or because you’re always going to obey them but because you love eachother okay?

shopwitchvamp:

westiec:

lesbianredpanda:

kvothes:

so true

Official Wednesday post

It’s Tuesday

Happy “Not Only Is It Not Friday, It’s Not Even Thursday, Official Wednesday, It’s Tuesday” Monday, everyone

bewilclerment:

when the fic is so good you need to exit out of the browser app and scroll on tumblr for a few minutes to process what you’re reading

al0m:

al0m:

al0m:

I made a new tomodachi life save on my nintendo 3ds today and oh my god please tell me why it didn’t even take a DAY for Narinder and Lamb to become a couple LMAO

It’s like the cotl marry narinder speedruns

they’re simply obsessed with each other

Also: they didn’t even ask each other out. My mii lookalike set up a date for them rekdsmd shipping at its prime

guys… bad news. also hilariously funny news

Narinder dumped Lamb for @captainluu LMAO???? AND I CRASHED INTO HER PROPOSAL AND WANTED TO GET WITH NARI AS WELL????? AND NARINDER JUST SAID YES TO LUU????

lamb is devastated

daydreaming about “their good days” like they were together for more than two days

NOW GOAT IS IN LOVE WIT LAMB WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON I’M CRYING VRKDVDKDBDKDK

ur-daily-inspiration:

unixtmdev:

dr-john09:

Even more of these doodles of Herobrine being shocked and whatnot.

Steve is the Combine

what-even-is-thiss:

Watching videos about French phonology. Have come to the conclusion that French people don’t breathe.

heartseeker:

squidpunch:

heartseeker:

heartseeker:

do you guys wanna see the most perfectest png of my cat

polite bubby.png

*unpngs your cat*

Fuck you

wondersmith-and-sons:

wondersmith-and-sons:

foreman. babe. we’re at the bottom end of season 8. you have worked here for almost a decade. why are you still surprised there’s medical malpractice going on at the medical malpractice department that you, personally, used to do medical malpractice at

some of my fave tags on this post

god this show is truly bonkers isn’t it.

hungwy:

this really changed me

the-beard-of-edward-teach:

the-beard-of-edward-teach:

“god is a woman”

“god is a man”

god is a subway rat in a trench coat

send carrier pigeon

Thought process behind it (all happening while i was just staring in a mirror):

“god is a trans man”

“well, there isnt just one. however, no, god is a woman”

“AHA, GOD TRANSITIONED FTM!”

“Wait! god is genderfluid!”

“god is me”

“god is us”

“Im genderfluid”

“i am forty-two rats in a trench coat”

“god is a rat”

“god is a rat in a trench coat”

“god is a *subway* rat in a trench coat”

animusrox:

stream:

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)dir Chris Columbus  

unixtmdev:

3000s:

im pregnant in the snow shivering wearing rags balding with no money, can you solve my puzzle?

the puzzle is you live in the US

segamascott:

unixtmdev:

hornpoint:

hornpoint:

go go gadget disappointing masturbation session

hey it wasnt that bad i thought it was funny

findingfeather:

thebibliosphere:

stjohnstarling:

stjohnstarling:

a-kind-of-merry-war:

earhartsease:

thebibliosphere:

cookieoppressor:

thebibliosphere:

thebibliosphere:

It never fails to amuse me when I get “hello influencer” emails wanting me to push questionable products to my followers.

Like worstie, I can barely promote my own published book without wanting to curl up and die.

The fuck makes you think I’ll shill your discount wish shit?

Also, it’s Tumblr. If I try to tell anyone about your knock-off Wish-quality sex toy there’s going to be a horde of Autistic lesbians doing a power point presentation in the notes about safe sex toy material and correct battery storage.

Which I am 100% down for, but it will not get you any sales.

I was trying to figure out if you were someone important on a other platform, because there’s no way in hell anyone actually thinks you can be classified as “Influencer” if you have a big Tumblr blog.

And then also think advertising to this mob would be a good idea

There are actually lots of people who sell stuff successfully on here, usually drop ship stuff.

They’re just not disclosing it as ads, which they are supposed to do, and instead it’s marketed in a very Tumblr-esque way which can be summed up as “omg guys look how CUTE this is” followed by a different account underneath going “omg found it!!” and it links to a drop ship site with the item(s).

And the link usually has an affiliate tracker in it, which you may or may not be able to spot unless you’re familiar with them, which is also something you are legally supposed to disclose.

I used to get a lot of offers from around 2016-2020 to sell “moon lamps” on here, y’know those orb lights that look like a moon? Yeah. I was offered a higher kickback to make it look like I wasnt posting an add because these sellers know Tumblrites don’t like ads.

They wanted it to look as organic and hyped up as possible and then I’d just so happen to be like “omg you guys it’s on sale” and post a link. Which is skeevy as shit and also illegal af in the US.

It’s like the insta/tiktok girlies saying “link in bio” to get around saying “here’s a product I make money on if you buy it” because they want to sound like your friend because people are more likely to impulse buy stuff if a “friend” is recommending something.

They’re also trusting that everyone knows “link in bio” means “affiliate link” which is technically not enough of a disclosure but whatever.

This is why I tag all my own book promos with “affiliate links” because depending on which storefront you buy Hunger Pangs from, I may get a kickback from the vender which I do to help mediate the fees I lose from distribution. It’s not much—literal pennies in some cases—but I’m still legally required to state it.

It’s also why when I do post products I use or like, I make a point of letting people know I’m not an affiliate and not sponsored because despite the legal ramifications these people are flirting with by not disclosing their affiliate status, I want to be fully transparent with my followers when it comes to me trying to sell them things.

Y’all keep my lights on by reading my work and through my ko-fi and patreon. I am not about to risk that trust for the sake of some shitty vibrator sales from a sketch-ass drop shipper who wants me to pretend I’m not selling you things.

So, yeah. People do successfully sell stuff on here. A lot of us small indie creators sell our own work all the time.

But there are also drop-ship sellers on here who get enough of a kick-back from affiliate links to make selling cutesy kitsch stuff worth their time on here. They’re just making sure you don’t know you’re being marketed to.

those product posts thinly disguised as “omfg look at this cool thing!/I found it online!” seem to come in waves and once you’ve noticed the pattern they’re just annoying - unless they’re marine biology/dinosaur plushies of course in which case it’s just an opportunity to gawp

The most recent one I can think of is that jellyfish light. That’s 100% an ad, just hidden in tumblr-speak.

I find I can generally tell when it’s an ad posted by a corp/dropshipper vs someone extremely passionate selling something they made and love, but there’s a lot of the former floating around

God, thank you for saying something. I seriously considered making this same post back in July when I started noticing more and more posts of this kind with thousands of notes. Some of them were getting pushed onto my dashboard from a few of the most popular tags I track (like “artists on tumblr”) but a few were getting shared by actual people who I follow (omg these ethereal dragon hair clips are perfect for cosplays… 😒)

(Screenshots I took at the time - this particular blog has been thoroughly scrubbed from existence in the meantime.)

There is an extensive interconnected network of blogs with URLs like haha-lol-cute-funny, daily-meme-inspiration, omg-wow-tiktoks, etc. that bulk post vast quantities of stolen memes with broad appeal, spam them in a million popular tags, and then reblog them back and forth from each other. Once any given meme takes off, the OP is edited and the meme replaced with one of these stealth ads. Then, because of the inflated note count, the ad version of the post will get pushed to the dashboards of anyone tracking those tags.

If you go into the notes of any of these, half the reblogs will still be of the original meme. Here’s an example: Original meme / the ad it turned into.

(The OP of this one has already been taken down - screenshots because the images in this post are also liable to get scrubbed.)

The note count has the added benefit of making it look like thousands of real people are excited about the item in the post, and, for better or worse, people are strongly motivated by things they think others in their community are doing.

I see all the linked posts have already been deleted lmao.

lol they’re deleting things so fast tonight.

They really don’t like being called out.

Also if these show up in the tags of something they’re not actually related to/supposed to be in, you can report them as spam. Because they are.

findingfeather:

thebibliosphere:

stjohnstarling:

stjohnstarling:

a-kind-of-merry-war:

earhartsease:

thebibliosphere:

cookieoppressor:

thebibliosphere:

thebibliosphere:

It never fails to amuse me when I get “hello influencer” emails wanting me to push questionable products to my followers.

Like worstie, I can barely promote my own published book without wanting to curl up and die.

The fuck makes you think I’ll shill your discount wish shit?

Also, it’s Tumblr. If I try to tell anyone about your knock-off Wish-quality sex toy there’s going to be a horde of Autistic lesbians doing a power point presentation in the notes about safe sex toy material and correct battery storage.

Which I am 100% down for, but it will not get you any sales.

I was trying to figure out if you were someone important on a other platform, because there’s no way in hell anyone actually thinks you can be classified as “Influencer” if you have a big Tumblr blog.

And then also think advertising to this mob would be a good idea

There are actually lots of people who sell stuff successfully on here, usually drop ship stuff.

They’re just not disclosing it as ads, which they are supposed to do, and instead it’s marketed in a very Tumblr-esque way which can be summed up as “omg guys look how CUTE this is” followed by a different account underneath going “omg found it!!” and it links to a drop ship site with the item(s).

And the link usually has an affiliate tracker in it, which you may or may not be able to spot unless you’re familiar with them, which is also something you are legally supposed to disclose.

I used to get a lot of offers from around 2016-2020 to sell “moon lamps” on here, y’know those orb lights that look like a moon? Yeah. I was offered a higher kickback to make it look like I wasnt posting an add because these sellers know Tumblrites don’t like ads.

They wanted it to look as organic and hyped up as possible and then I’d just so happen to be like “omg you guys it’s on sale” and post a link. Which is skeevy as shit and also illegal af in the US.

It’s like the insta/tiktok girlies saying “link in bio” to get around saying “here’s a product I make money on if you buy it” because they want to sound like your friend because people are more likely to impulse buy stuff if a “friend” is recommending something.

They’re also trusting that everyone knows “link in bio” means “affiliate link” which is technically not enough of a disclosure but whatever.

This is why I tag all my own book promos with “affiliate links” because depending on which storefront you buy Hunger Pangs from, I may get a kickback from the vender which I do to help mediate the fees I lose from distribution. It’s not much—literal pennies in some cases—but I’m still legally required to state it.

It’s also why when I do post products I use or like, I make a point of letting people know I’m not an affiliate and not sponsored because despite the legal ramifications these people are flirting with by not disclosing their affiliate status, I want to be fully transparent with my followers when it comes to me trying to sell them things.

Y’all keep my lights on by reading my work and through my ko-fi and patreon. I am not about to risk that trust for the sake of some shitty vibrator sales from a sketch-ass drop shipper who wants me to pretend I’m not selling you things.

So, yeah. People do successfully sell stuff on here. A lot of us small indie creators sell our own work all the time.

But there are also drop-ship sellers on here who get enough of a kick-back from affiliate links to make selling cutesy kitsch stuff worth their time on here. They’re just making sure you don’t know you’re being marketed to.

those product posts thinly disguised as “omfg look at this cool thing!/I found it online!” seem to come in waves and once you’ve noticed the pattern they’re just annoying - unless they’re marine biology/dinosaur plushies of course in which case it’s just an opportunity to gawp

The most recent one I can think of is that jellyfish light. That’s 100% an ad, just hidden in tumblr-speak.

I find I can generally tell when it’s an ad posted by a corp/dropshipper vs someone extremely passionate selling something they made and love, but there’s a lot of the former floating around

God, thank you for saying something. I seriously considered making this same post back in July when I started noticing more and more posts of this kind with thousands of notes. Some of them were getting pushed onto my dashboard from a few of the most popular tags I track (like “artists on tumblr”) but a few were getting shared by actual people who I follow (omg these ethereal dragon hair clips are perfect for cosplays… 😒)

(Screenshots I took at the time - this particular blog has been thoroughly scrubbed from existence in the meantime.)

There is an extensive interconnected network of blogs with URLs like haha-lol-cute-funny, daily-meme-inspiration, omg-wow-tiktoks, etc. that bulk post vast quantities of stolen memes with broad appeal, spam them in a million popular tags, and then reblog them back and forth from each other. Once any given meme takes off, the OP is edited and the meme replaced with one of these stealth ads. Then, because of the inflated note count, the ad version of the post will get pushed to the dashboards of anyone tracking those tags.

If you go into the notes of any of these, half the reblogs will still be of the original meme. Here’s an example: Original meme / the ad it turned into.

(The OP of this one has already been taken down - screenshots because the images in this post are also liable to get scrubbed.)

The note count has the added benefit of making it look like thousands of real people are excited about the item in the post, and, for better or worse, people are strongly motivated by things they think others in their community are doing.

I see all the linked posts have already been deleted lmao.

lol they’re deleting things so fast tonight.

They really don’t like being called out.

Also if these show up in the tags of something they’re not actually related to/supposed to be in, you can report them as spam. Because they are.

findingfeather:

thebibliosphere:

stjohnstarling:

stjohnstarling:

a-kind-of-merry-war:

earhartsease:

thebibliosphere:

cookieoppressor:

thebibliosphere:

thebibliosphere:

It never fails to amuse me when I get “hello influencer” emails wanting me to push questionable products to my followers.

Like worstie, I can barely promote my own published book without wanting to curl up and die.

The fuck makes you think I’ll shill your discount wish shit?

Also, it’s Tumblr. If I try to tell anyone about your knock-off Wish-quality sex toy there’s going to be a horde of Autistic lesbians doing a power point presentation in the notes about safe sex toy material and correct battery storage.

Which I am 100% down for, but it will not get you any sales.

I was trying to figure out if you were someone important on a other platform, because there’s no way in hell anyone actually thinks you can be classified as “Influencer” if you have a big Tumblr blog.

And then also think advertising to this mob would be a good idea

There are actually lots of people who sell stuff successfully on here, usually drop ship stuff.

They’re just not disclosing it as ads, which they are supposed to do, and instead it’s marketed in a very Tumblr-esque way which can be summed up as “omg guys look how CUTE this is” followed by a different account underneath going “omg found it!!” and it links to a drop ship site with the item(s).

And the link usually has an affiliate tracker in it, which you may or may not be able to spot unless you’re familiar with them, which is also something you are legally supposed to disclose.

I used to get a lot of offers from around 2016-2020 to sell “moon lamps” on here, y’know those orb lights that look like a moon? Yeah. I was offered a higher kickback to make it look like I wasnt posting an add because these sellers know Tumblrites don’t like ads.

They wanted it to look as organic and hyped up as possible and then I’d just so happen to be like “omg you guys it’s on sale” and post a link. Which is skeevy as shit and also illegal af in the US.

It’s like the insta/tiktok girlies saying “link in bio” to get around saying “here’s a product I make money on if you buy it” because they want to sound like your friend because people are more likely to impulse buy stuff if a “friend” is recommending something.

They’re also trusting that everyone knows “link in bio” means “affiliate link” which is technically not enough of a disclosure but whatever.

This is why I tag all my own book promos with “affiliate links” because depending on which storefront you buy Hunger Pangs from, I may get a kickback from the vender which I do to help mediate the fees I lose from distribution. It’s not much—literal pennies in some cases—but I’m still legally required to state it.

It’s also why when I do post products I use or like, I make a point of letting people know I’m not an affiliate and not sponsored because despite the legal ramifications these people are flirting with by not disclosing their affiliate status, I want to be fully transparent with my followers when it comes to me trying to sell them things.

Y’all keep my lights on by reading my work and through my ko-fi and patreon. I am not about to risk that trust for the sake of some shitty vibrator sales from a sketch-ass drop shipper who wants me to pretend I’m not selling you things.

So, yeah. People do successfully sell stuff on here. A lot of us small indie creators sell our own work all the time.

But there are also drop-ship sellers on here who get enough of a kick-back from affiliate links to make selling cutesy kitsch stuff worth their time on here. They’re just making sure you don’t know you’re being marketed to.

those product posts thinly disguised as “omfg look at this cool thing!/I found it online!” seem to come in waves and once you’ve noticed the pattern they’re just annoying - unless they’re marine biology/dinosaur plushies of course in which case it’s just an opportunity to gawp

The most recent one I can think of is that jellyfish light. That’s 100% an ad, just hidden in tumblr-speak.

I find I can generally tell when it’s an ad posted by a corp/dropshipper vs someone extremely passionate selling something they made and love, but there’s a lot of the former floating around

God, thank you for saying something. I seriously considered making this same post back in July when I started noticing more and more posts of this kind with thousands of notes. Some of them were getting pushed onto my dashboard from a few of the most popular tags I track (like “artists on tumblr”) but a few were getting shared by actual people who I follow (omg these ethereal dragon hair clips are perfect for cosplays… 😒)

(Screenshots I took at the time - this particular blog has been thoroughly scrubbed from existence in the meantime.)

There is an extensive interconnected network of blogs with URLs like haha-lol-cute-funny, daily-meme-inspiration, omg-wow-tiktoks, etc. that bulk post vast quantities of stolen memes with broad appeal, spam them in a million popular tags, and then reblog them back and forth from each other. Once any given meme takes off, the OP is edited and the meme replaced with one of these stealth ads. Then, because of the inflated note count, the ad version of the post will get pushed to the dashboards of anyone tracking those tags.

If you go into the notes of any of these, half the reblogs will still be of the original meme. Here’s an example: Original meme / the ad it turned into.

(The OP of this one has already been taken down - screenshots because the images in this post are also liable to get scrubbed.)

The note count has the added benefit of making it look like thousands of real people are excited about the item in the post, and, for better or worse, people are strongly motivated by things they think others in their community are doing.

I see all the linked posts have already been deleted lmao.

lol they’re deleting things so fast tonight.

They really don’t like being called out.

Also if these show up in the tags of something they’re not actually related to/supposed to be in, you can report them as spam. Because they are.

findingfeather:

thebibliosphere:

stjohnstarling:

stjohnstarling:

a-kind-of-merry-war:

earhartsease:

thebibliosphere:

cookieoppressor:

thebibliosphere:

thebibliosphere:

It never fails to amuse me when I get “hello influencer” emails wanting me to push questionable products to my followers.

Like worstie, I can barely promote my own published book without wanting to curl up and die.

The fuck makes you think I’ll shill your discount wish shit?

Also, it’s Tumblr. If I try to tell anyone about your knock-off Wish-quality sex toy there’s going to be a horde of Autistic lesbians doing a power point presentation in the notes about safe sex toy material and correct battery storage.

Which I am 100% down for, but it will not get you any sales.

I was trying to figure out if you were someone important on a other platform, because there’s no way in hell anyone actually thinks you can be classified as “Influencer” if you have a big Tumblr blog.

And then also think advertising to this mob would be a good idea

There are actually lots of people who sell stuff successfully on here, usually drop ship stuff.

They’re just not disclosing it as ads, which they are supposed to do, and instead it’s marketed in a very Tumblr-esque way which can be summed up as “omg guys look how CUTE this is” followed by a different account underneath going “omg found it!!” and it links to a drop ship site with the item(s).

And the link usually has an affiliate tracker in it, which you may or may not be able to spot unless you’re familiar with them, which is also something you are legally supposed to disclose.

I used to get a lot of offers from around 2016-2020 to sell “moon lamps” on here, y’know those orb lights that look like a moon? Yeah. I was offered a higher kickback to make it look like I wasnt posting an add because these sellers know Tumblrites don’t like ads.

They wanted it to look as organic and hyped up as possible and then I’d just so happen to be like “omg you guys it’s on sale” and post a link. Which is skeevy as shit and also illegal af in the US.

It’s like the insta/tiktok girlies saying “link in bio” to get around saying “here’s a product I make money on if you buy it” because they want to sound like your friend because people are more likely to impulse buy stuff if a “friend” is recommending something.

They’re also trusting that everyone knows “link in bio” means “affiliate link” which is technically not enough of a disclosure but whatever.

This is why I tag all my own book promos with “affiliate links” because depending on which storefront you buy Hunger Pangs from, I may get a kickback from the vender which I do to help mediate the fees I lose from distribution. It’s not much—literal pennies in some cases—but I’m still legally required to state it.

It’s also why when I do post products I use or like, I make a point of letting people know I’m not an affiliate and not sponsored because despite the legal ramifications these people are flirting with by not disclosing their affiliate status, I want to be fully transparent with my followers when it comes to me trying to sell them things.

Y’all keep my lights on by reading my work and through my ko-fi and patreon. I am not about to risk that trust for the sake of some shitty vibrator sales from a sketch-ass drop shipper who wants me to pretend I’m not selling you things.

So, yeah. People do successfully sell stuff on here. A lot of us small indie creators sell our own work all the time.

But there are also drop-ship sellers on here who get enough of a kick-back from affiliate links to make selling cutesy kitsch stuff worth their time on here. They’re just making sure you don’t know you’re being marketed to.

those product posts thinly disguised as “omfg look at this cool thing!/I found it online!” seem to come in waves and once you’ve noticed the pattern they’re just annoying - unless they’re marine biology/dinosaur plushies of course in which case it’s just an opportunity to gawp

The most recent one I can think of is that jellyfish light. That’s 100% an ad, just hidden in tumblr-speak.

I find I can generally tell when it’s an ad posted by a corp/dropshipper vs someone extremely passionate selling something they made and love, but there’s a lot of the former floating around

God, thank you for saying something. I seriously considered making this same post back in July when I started noticing more and more posts of this kind with thousands of notes. Some of them were getting pushed onto my dashboard from a few of the most popular tags I track (like “artists on tumblr”) but a few were getting shared by actual people who I follow (omg these ethereal dragon hair clips are perfect for cosplays… 😒)

(Screenshots I took at the time - this particular blog has been thoroughly scrubbed from existence in the meantime.)

There is an extensive interconnected network of blogs with URLs like haha-lol-cute-funny, daily-meme-inspiration, omg-wow-tiktoks, etc. that bulk post vast quantities of stolen memes with broad appeal, spam them in a million popular tags, and then reblog them back and forth from each other. Once any given meme takes off, the OP is edited and the meme replaced with one of these stealth ads. Then, because of the inflated note count, the ad version of the post will get pushed to the dashboards of anyone tracking those tags.

If you go into the notes of any of these, half the reblogs will still be of the original meme. Here’s an example: Original meme / the ad it turned into.

(The OP of this one has already been taken down - screenshots because the images in this post are also liable to get scrubbed.)

The note count has the added benefit of making it look like thousands of real people are excited about the item in the post, and, for better or worse, people are strongly motivated by things they think others in their community are doing.

I see all the linked posts have already been deleted lmao.

lol they’re deleting things so fast tonight.

They really don’t like being called out.

Also if these show up in the tags of something they’re not actually related to/supposed to be in, you can report them as spam. Because they are.

weardgirl:

talking to mutuals guide

dming a mutual tricks and cheat codes

basic techniques for reaching out to mutuals

recent advances in talking with mutuals

talking to mutuals okay?

will my mutuals think im weird for talking to them

messaging mutuals in a mutual-honoring way

enki2:

batbetbitbotbut:

rosslynpaladin:

mathew:

This stops being quite as “zany shitpost” and becomes “Accidental Performance art commentary on Accessibility” when you consider the vast number of people unable to sit upright or leave a bed, most or all the time. No you don’t see us, we’re in bed either all the time or when our conditions flare up and put us there regularly.

When i first saw this I thought, “HAH- too bad that’s not a feasible thing, then I could go so many public places while still safely cushioned and laying down!”

…only then did I realize how many people would never see it that way.

(via @linguisticparadox)

canineentity:

“Why’d you do that?” Please remember that I am using what I’ve seen in humans to mimic them

exhuastedpigeon:

Having “a lot” of followers on tumblr is funny because probably 80% of them are ghost blogs who haven’t been on here in like a decade.

It’s like, no no, those aren’t my followers, that’s a graveyard! I’m the caretaker of a thousands of tombs. I love them, but they’ve been dead for seven years.