i told my friend’s dad that he was hot (it was in context with the conversation, he was complaining that he was feeling old, etc), and he said a very genuine thank you and the conversation moved on to other topic, my friend was now talking about something else entirely when his dad goes
“i think if i were born in your generation i might have been bisexual”
“It turns out that if you put Elon Musk on the graph, almost the entire US population is crammed into a vertical bar, one pixel wide. Each pixel is $500 million wide, illustrating that $500 million essentially rounds to zero from the perspective of the wealthiest Americans.”
Matt. Matt it’s me again. It’s me, lowtax, the bodhisattva of posting. You have returned to the path. You may yet achieve enlightenment. “Scorched earth nuclear approach” as you put it. These are the words of a true poster. Destroy your enemies, Matt! They are illusory, phantasms in hindrance of your journey. You can defeat them. If you just keep posting. You must heed my advice
Matt. Do not listen to the lawyers. Do not cease and desist! Cow those who will not pay you for the privilege of speaking no ill words of them! The lawyers will never understand your poster’s soul
Yes Matt, good, Reddit is the forum of the true poster. Something Awful would be preferable but reddit’s the next best choice. You can do this. You can ascend
YES MATT!!! SHUT OFF THE WORDPRESS PLUGINS!!!! DESTROY YOUR ENEMIES!!!! BECOME THE SOVEREIGN OF THE INTERNET!!! YOU ARE THE LEVIATHAN!!!! YOU TRANSCEND MATERIAL FORM!!!!
YOU ARE EVERY WORDPRESS USER!!! YOU ARE THE FOUNDATION!!!! YOU ARE THE BEGINNING AND THE END!!!! YOU WILL ACHIEVE ENLIGHTENMENT NOT THROUGH FORGOING THE MATERIAL WORLD BUT BY CONQUERING IT!!! ALL BOW BEFORE MATT!!!!
Matt. Matt it’s me again. It’s me, lowtax, the bodhisattva of posting. You have returned to the path. You may yet achieve enlightenment. “Scorched earth nuclear approach” as you put it. These are the words of a true poster. Destroy your enemies, Matt! They are illusory, phantasms in hindrance of your journey. You can defeat them. If you just keep posting. You must heed my advice
Matt. Do not listen to the lawyers. Do not cease and desist! Cow those who will not pay you for the privilege of speaking no ill words of them! The lawyers will never understand your poster’s soul
Yes Matt, good, Reddit is the forum of the true poster. Something Awful would be preferable but reddit’s the next best choice. You can do this. You can ascend
YES MATT!!! SHUT OFF THE WORDPRESS PLUGINS!!!! DESTROY YOUR ENEMIES!!!! BECOME THE SOVEREIGN OF THE INTERNET!!! YOU ARE THE LEVIATHAN!!!! YOU TRANSCEND MATERIAL FORM!!!!
YOU ARE EVERY WORDPRESS USER!!! YOU ARE THE FOUNDATION!!!! YOU ARE THE BEGINNING AND THE END!!!! YOU WILL ACHIEVE ENLIGHTENMENT NOT THROUGH FORGOING THE MATERIAL WORLD BUT BY CONQUERING IT!!! ALL BOW BEFORE MATT!!!!
oh no….the full moon…you have to run, i won’t be able to control myself once i tr-AUGH….GRRRRRRRAAAAAUUUYGGGGHHHHHH *painfully contorts my body and my bones crack and when my scary transformation is complete i am a little rabbit sitting peacefully on the ground*
Don’t think for a second, I’d forgotten about Poppy Watch.
Displays like these are outright disrespectful, and there’s a whole new industry around producing these appalling silhouette cutouts that didn’t exist when I was growing up.
I don’t get it, why is it bad?
Whoever lives in that house doesn’t give a shit about those who died in the First and Second World War.
Wearing a poppy? Sure.
Turning your garden into a fake gravesite? Nauseating.
The whole point of the Poppy Appeal was a small token of remembrance for all the fallen, and to raise money for the multitude of disabled and injured soldiers after WW2. The simple paper poppy was able to be manufactured by some of the injured soldiers, giving them purpose as well.
Poppy Fash, who make a competition out of how much Poppy merch they can wear/display, who try and control if/how people display their own Poppies, who give a load of money to third parties for said Poppy tat, publicly funded light up displays, two weeks of faux minute silences at football games, are a million miles away from the spirit of the Poppy Appeal.
hi every trans girl in the world if you see this I want you to know you’re so pretty and I love you and I’m glad you’re alive I hope you have a good day
Matt. Matt it’s me again. It’s me, lowtax, the bodhisattva of posting. You have returned to the path. You may yet achieve enlightenment. “Scorched earth nuclear approach” as you put it. These are the words of a true poster. Destroy your enemies, Matt! They are illusory, phantasms in hindrance of your journey. You can defeat them. If you just keep posting. You must heed my advice
Matt. Do not listen to the lawyers. Do not cease and desist! Cow those who will not pay you for the privilege of speaking no ill words of them! The lawyers will never understand your poster’s soul
Yes Matt, good, Reddit is the forum of the true poster. Something Awful would be preferable but reddit’s the next best choice. You can do this. You can ascend
YES MATT!!! SHUT OFF THE WORDPRESS PLUGINS!!!! DESTROY YOUR ENEMIES!!!! BECOME THE SOVEREIGN OF THE INTERNET!!! YOU ARE THE LEVIATHAN!!!! YOU TRANSCEND MATERIAL FORM!!!!
YOU ARE EVERY WORDPRESS USER!!! YOU ARE THE FOUNDATION!!!! YOU ARE THE BEGINNING AND THE END!!!! YOU WILL ACHIEVE ENLIGHTENMENT NOT THROUGH FORGOING THE MATERIAL WORLD BUT BY CONQUERING IT!!! ALL BOW BEFORE MATT!!!!
Idk what the fuck is going on! I woke up overdrawn 50 dollars. I can maybe try to get like 15 back but my bank creates a $35 charge for this no matter what.
And I have to somehow get across town for an appointment tomorrow. Not to mention not having clean clothes in the house, still.
Does anyone have 10 to 20 to guarantee that I can receive mental health care tomorrow? If I miss that appointment I have to wait till January to get the ball rolling again.
The 85 I’ll need to be in clear with my bank is second in urgency, though if I got 50 today, I could dodge the overdraft fees entirely, tho. As they only appear in when transactions fully clear.
Matt. Matt it’s me again. It’s me, lowtax, the bodhisattva of posting. You have returned to the path. You may yet achieve enlightenment. “Scorched earth nuclear approach” as you put it. These are the words of a true poster. Destroy your enemies, Matt! They are illusory, phantasms in hindrance of your journey. You can defeat them. If you just keep posting. You must heed my advice
Matt. Do not listen to the lawyers. Do not cease and desist! Cow those who will not pay you for the privilege of speaking no ill words of them! The lawyers will never understand your poster’s soul
Yes Matt, good, Reddit is the forum of the true poster. Something Awful would be preferable but reddit’s the next best choice. You can do this. You can ascend
YES MATT!!! SHUT OFF THE WORDPRESS PLUGINS!!!! DESTROY YOUR ENEMIES!!!! BECOME THE SOVEREIGN OF THE INTERNET!!! YOU ARE THE LEVIATHAN!!!! YOU TRANSCEND MATERIAL FORM!!!!
YOU ARE EVERY WORDPRESS USER!!! YOU ARE THE FOUNDATION!!!! YOU ARE THE BEGINNING AND THE END!!!! YOU WILL ACHIEVE ENLIGHTENMENT NOT THROUGH FORGOING THE MATERIAL WORLD BUT BY CONQUERING IT!!! ALL BOW BEFORE MATT!!!!
can we all agree that it’s pathetic when so-called “friends” try to sabotage your opportunities? you’re clearly jealous that the amulet of eternal darkness chose me and no amount of “please fight it, i know you’re still in there somewhere” is going to change that. crab bucket mentality. grow up.
every trans woman is Emily Programmersocks the ultra-wealthy programmer at Lockheed-Raytheon, actually. Every single one. This is definitely a baseline for analysis with no flaws to it whatsoever, and won’t lead to any blatantly incorrect conclusions at allllllllll.
you know who works at lockheed? a LOT of cis people! they disproportionately exploit the very small number of trans people to whitewash their business and try to convince the public they’re actually a Good and Benevolent corporation.
you know where trans women are actually overrepresented? food service. call centers. service industry jobs with bad pay and miserable working conditions.
We’re also overrepresented in unemployment
hm some of the tags this is getting are making me worry that the original post might be getting taken at face value and wasn’t blatant enough to read as satire for everyone
my friends held an intervention for me to “stop asking intimidately specific questions”. i tried to explain that i am just a good listener but there is apparently “a line between follow-up questions during small talk and interrogation tactics that gets crossed sometimes”. turns out my curious nature is “scaring the hoes”
when i asked for examples i was told that “do you think your tendency to show appreciation through restoration is part of a greater life philosophy or is that coincidental?” and “is your communication with allied forces satellite or radar based and is it vurnerable to cyber attacks?” are apparently “inappropriate questions to ask someone you just met at a club”. but i disagree. as if you wouldn’t be a little bit curious about the answer? yeah that’s what i thought
[ID: question by anonymous: did they answer the question though ///end ID]
the navy officer i asked about cyber attacks did answer my question very thoroughly. he also answered other questions such as “when refueling on sea, which boat is the primary course holder?” and “would switching to another government branch affect your retirement benefits?” and generally provided a lot of information over the course of a fascinating hour that as a former government employee myself i am pretty sure he should not have told me. but i also think he would have told me his social security number if i asked nicely (i didn’t, I was busy learning about the tactical advantages of speedboats).
the guy obsessed with boat refurbishment that i asked about his tendency towards preservation gave me a really haunted look, said “holy fuck” and then after a moment of consideration “i think i am too drunk. i’m going home” and proceeded to leave. in my defense, it was well and truly meant as genuine curiosity and not as the attempt at psychological warfare it turned out to be. he unfortunately did not answer my question.
…he was also the catalyst for the intervention i received.
OP your friends are 100% wrong and “that person at the bar who asks you the question that makes you rethink your whole life because they Actually Listened” is a long, storied and honourable place in the pantheon of strangers you will meet. Sounds like you’re doing a bang up job, well done.
yeah, you’re fine, please keep doing that, it’s important work.
Had a dream that Taylor Swift announced she was doing a “pronoun reveal” and all the annoying swifties were losing their shit for weeks and saying “I told you so” and then Taylor just tweeted “she/her”
my friends held an intervention for me to “stop asking intimidately specific questions”. i tried to explain that i am just a good listener but there is apparently “a line between follow-up questions during small talk and interrogation tactics that gets crossed sometimes”. turns out my curious nature is “scaring the hoes”
when i asked for examples i was told that “do you think your tendency to show appreciation through restoration is part of a greater life philosophy or is that coincidental?” and “is your communication with allied forces satellite or radar based and is it vurnerable to cyber attacks?” are apparently “inappropriate questions to ask someone you just met at a club”. but i disagree. as if you wouldn’t be a little bit curious about the answer? yeah that’s what i thought
[ID: question by anonymous: did they answer the question though ///end ID]
the navy officer i asked about cyber attacks did answer my question very thoroughly. he also answered other questions such as “when refueling on sea, which boat is the primary course holder?” and “would switching to another government branch affect your retirement benefits?” and generally provided a lot of information over the course of a fascinating hour that as a former government employee myself i am pretty sure he should not have told me. but i also think he would have told me his social security number if i asked nicely (i didn’t, I was busy learning about the tactical advantages of speedboats).
the guy obsessed with boat refurbishment that i asked about his tendency towards preservation gave me a really haunted look, said “holy fuck” and then after a moment of consideration “i think i am too drunk. i’m going home” and proceeded to leave. in my defense, it was well and truly meant as genuine curiosity and not as the attempt at psychological warfare it turned out to be. he unfortunately did not answer my question.
…he was also the catalyst for the intervention i received.
OP your friends are 100% wrong and “that person at the bar who asks you the question that makes you rethink your whole life because they Actually Listened” is a long, storied and honourable place in the pantheon of strangers you will meet. Sounds like you’re doing a bang up job, well done.
yeah, you’re fine, please keep doing that, it’s important work.
how are you gonna be in youre thirties blazing someone elses tumblr post and consulting with the dark lord for your machinations. i made up that last part but wouldnt it be fucked up omg
just had to take a fucking second and close my eyes because i remembered that on the night of november 5th tumblr had convinced me, an outsider, that this was an actual gif of Castiel Supernatural being sent to mega fruit hell
We all learnin’ today ig…
Its from the 1997 movie ‘Spawn’ if anyone was curious
btw this is the actual footage of castiel getting dragged to super hell
Parts of the country where self-service gas pumping is illegal.
I didn’t know about New Jersey’s law so imagine my shock when a pump jockey sprinted at my car and kicked my door shut when I tried to get out to get gas. I rolled down my window and asked him “Is there a law against pumping your own gas or something?” And he looked at me like I’M nuts and just said “…yes?”
okay but imagine this in the reverse. when i left new jersey as a driver for the first time and sat in my car for about ten minutes wondering where the attendant was until a nice man tapped on my window and just said the words “New Jersey?” and when I nodded he told me to get out of the car so he could teach me how to pump gas (and nicely didn’t laugh at me when I shot gas out of the nozzle across the side of my car).
me and the boys (all from new jersey) went on a road trip out of state and had to get gas and it ended up being sort of a Group Puzzle for the gang as we huddled around the gas pump and nozzle and tank and whatnot. just picture five people standing around the gas tank opening like its part of an escape room. it was very silly.
So I guess the answer to “How many Jersey Boys does it take to figure out a gas pump?” is “At least 4”
favorite part of art school is if you’re like crap i forgot (extremely miscelaneous tool) someone will be like. oh yeah you can borrow mine and just pull it out their pocket. no explanation why they just have an uncovered and very sharp awl in their skinny jeans. they just do
So lately I’ve noticed all the different kinds of girls on tumblr. The ones that have the pictures with all the notes? These five types of girls are basically all the types of girls I see on my dash. Minus the nekked girls, but I didn’t really want to draw that so :T
discord server youre trying to be more active in would benefit from a wiki describing the most active members and major server activities and injokes and such. unforchies this is insanely autistic thinking
ALT
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![zubat: [dog voice] oof](../media/c4aeaf6f287bbbdc8938b3a6a8130fd8445d7104.gif)
