@probablyautism thnx for remembering the weirdest tumblrina on the planet. also can u explain to ur local grandma what she has to do(apologies are afoot)
So tap on the link above my character and simply make your own it could be an OC or you or your sona, anything.
Wild how I keep returning to this goddamn post. @queermarzipan ball’s in your court babe.
It may still need help getting to 200,000.
Here’s Aziraphale in disguise:
And here’s a backstage shot of the Gentlemen in 1941 suits:
@tothechaos will you print and eat the entire post? If so, here is a long joke. Don’t choke:
A man obsessed with trains finally steals one and immediately crashes it, killing several people.
At the trial, the man is found guilty of multiple murders and sentenced to death.
Before he faces his sentence, he’s offered a last meal, and asks for a single banana, which is given to him.
The next day, he’s led to the electric chair. They strap him in, pull the switch, and… nothing happens.
There’s never been a failure before. But because you cannot punish a person twice for the same crime, the court is forced to let him go free.
Within a week’s time, naturally, the man, who is obsessed with trains, goes and steals another one.
He doesn’t care that he can’t drive it or that he failed catastrophically before; he is obsessed with trains and his only desire is to operate one. As before, he crashes it, and kills several people.
Again, he stands trial, and again, he is sentenced to death, showing no remorse, only delight that he got to operate the train.
His last meal request is a single banana. When he goes to the chair, the executioner pulls the switch, but nothing happens. He goes free again.
The train-obsessed maniac, once more on the loose, wastes no time in hijacking a train and crashing it.
His trial is speedy, because this has already happened twice, and he is sentenced to death.
They ask him what he’d like for his last meal. “A single banana,” he says.
“Oh, no you don’t, you son of a bitch. We’re on to you, now. We know all about your little banana trick, and you’re not escaping this time!”
The guards refuse his request, and instead serve him a standard last meal of steak, potatoes, and berry cobbler.
The next morning they strap him into the electric chair, pull the switch, and… nothing happens.
“Did you give him the banana?” demands the head guard.
“No, sir! He asked for the banana but we didn’t give it to him, we swear!” says one of the guards.
Turns out the banana had nothing to do with anything. He was just a really bad conductor.
Quick! Gordon Ramsey has tasked you to come up with a new recipe with a rather special ingredient: ‘this trainwreck of a Tumblr post printed out on paper’. You don’t have much time as the exquisite guest will enter the doors of your fancy establishment the moment this post hits 200k notes. Come up with a recipe. Please provide detailed instructions.
Chaos Course Set Meal
Bespoke 9 course meal meant to be enjoyed by @tothechaos
Foreword:
As tasked by the prolific Gordan Ramsey, this 9 Course endeavour will feature the post in its entirety segmented into 9 delightfully ornate, unreasonably complex yet delectably unparalleled dishes. In the following, we’ll see how to prepare each of these dishes.
Course One
Dish name: 10k notes of Hubris
10k Notes of Hubris is a simple risotto with saffron infusion and forest mushrooms, topped with shavings of the top 9th piece of this post, printed in full colour, regular stock. Due to the nature of a 9 course setting, it is wise to start with a simpler dish.
Ingredients (serves four people):
1 teaspoon of saffron
300g carnaroli rice
50g extra virgin olive oil
20g butter
5g shallots
1l vegetable broth
parsley (to taste)
100g porcini mushrooms
80g portobello mushrooms
100g brown mushrooms
5g truffle oil
5g lemon peel and lemon juice
30g parmesan cheese
thyme (a dash)
5g garlic
A pinch of salt and pepper
The first 9th of this post, printed in full colour with regular stock.
Method:
In a saucepan, pour the oil and the chopped shallot(s), then add the rice and saffron and toast
Pour the broth a little at a time and cook slowly. Allow to cook before adding salt and black pepper. Stir in butter, grated parmesan cheese, chopped parsley, truffle oil, lemon juice and peel.
In a separate saucepan, cook the mushrooms with oil, garlic, thyme, salt and black pepper.
Presentation:
At the base of the dish pour the risotto, complete with forest mushrooms and basil leaves. Shave the printed top 9th of the post and sprinkle on top. Drizzle a dash of olive oil before serving.
The next dish and recipe of this 9 course meal, complete with the next 9th of the post printed and incorporated, will be presented by another chef.
i don’t what’s more wild to me, how much we are all working on giving someone ink poisoning or learning that @writing-prompt-s has @one-time-i-dreamt ’s phone number
I have been summoned many, many times
This post is already one of the most epic I have ever seen. Keep going!
The tumblr post equivalent of the fall of ceasar. Well can’t miss my turn with the knife.
biologists will be like this is a very simplified diagram of a mammalian cell
chemists will be like this is a molecule
okay but this is what the best render of a human cell looks like
They are not kidding
We are full of so many fuckign guys
This is actually a full on interactive map! You can put your cursor over any structure to focus on it and see its name, you can focus on all the structures that are part of a specific pathway and, when you click on proteins, you open it up on PhosphoSitePlus, which is a curated database of proteins and their post-translational modifications. It has a helpful description and summary for each protein!
This is a HUGE complementary resource for learning molecular biology! It really helps to make sense of each individual pathway and it puts everything into perspective. It only focuses on human, rat and certain other animal cells, so it won’t have all the pathways one would wish to see… But for the pathways it does include, consider opening the image and accompanying it as you learn or revise them!
oh wow, thank you for the additional information, i had no idea, that’s so much cooler than just the flat picture.
biologists will be like this is a very simplified diagram of a mammalian cell
chemists will be like this is a molecule
okay but this is what the best render of a human cell looks like
They are not kidding
We are full of so many fuckign guys
This is actually a full on interactive map! You can put your cursor over any structure to focus on it and see its name, you can focus on all the structures that are part of a specific pathway and, when you click on proteins, you open it up on PhosphoSitePlus, which is a curated database of proteins and their post-translational modifications. It has a helpful description and summary for each protein!
This is a HUGE complementary resource for learning molecular biology! It really helps to make sense of each individual pathway and it puts everything into perspective. It only focuses on human, rat and certain other animal cells, so it won’t have all the pathways one would wish to see… But for the pathways it does include, consider opening the image and accompanying it as you learn or revise them!
oh wow, thank you for the additional information, i had no idea, that’s so much cooler than just the flat picture.
the amongus crewmate really was a gift to humanity. the world had enough crudely drawn dicks on bathroom stall doors we needed another shape to instantly strike annoyance and discomfort in the viewer
My favorite part of the PJO TV series casting announcements is that there’s always a tweet of the new actor and Walker Scobell as Percy saying “their beef is about to be insane”. No matter what. Ares actor? Beef is gonna be insane. Hades and Zeus actors? Beef is gonna be insane. Thalia? Beef is gonna be insane/he’s gonna make fun of her accent and she’ll electrocute him. Now, Athena? Again, the beef is about to be crazy.
And it’s always right. That kid had beef with everyone and their mom.
if someone is say 15 it's a lot easier to say hey kid just hang in there three years and you can do whatever the fuck you want, it'll be fine
medical transition is one of the very few things in the world this is not true for—there’s a pretty narrow window to dodge the wrong puberty and 18 is well past it
people will say it’s not the end of the world as cope or whatever but you only get a few years to act to avoid lifelong dysphoria
Really looking forward to future etymologists writing papers on 21st century slang in which they discuss the origin of the term “based”, thus forcing them to explain in academic language who Lil B is
I just discovered foodtimeline.org, which is exactly what it sounds like: centuries worth of information about FOOD. If you are writing something historical and you want a starting point for figuring out what people should be eating, this might be a good place?
CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY
this is awesome but the original link just turned into a redirect loop for me, here it is again (x)
OH HELLO
No more potatoes in medieval novels!
BREAD and SOUP have been around longer than alcohol and milk and domesticated chickens and tea and marshmallows (2000BC!!) and coffee and the Neolithic and the UK being islands and ancient Egypt and ancient Greece and Rome and Jesus… love for BREAD and SOUP is as old as time
Audio transcript : Hamster balls are like so dangerous for small animals. You know why? Because like, they can’t extend their back properly, so their back is like thi– (cuts off abruptly as the creature in the hamster ball is revealed to be a crab; pauses. The following is said with an affectionate tone like one uses when speaking of a cute animal:) Well, he can’t break his spine ‘cause he don’t have a spine.
Just occurred to me that some of you may have never seen this music video. They had absolutely no reason to make it the way it is but damn they went hard.
One of the backstreet boys in 1997 : no I’m TELLING you, monster fuckers are the future.
This is why I hate the like, casual ha ha aren’t men awful jokes that people like to casually throw around.
Like, men are victims of the patriarchy too, and loneliness and isolation is what brings out the worst in people.
I’m not saying you have to be nice to or defend wretched men, but don’t treat them as wretched just because they are men. Treat them as wretched because they are wretched.
The interactions I watch my boyfriend have now that he passes have really changed my perception of what it is like for men, and frankly, it’s bleak in some fundamental ways I didn’t understand.
Friendliness is taken differently. Women interact very differently, there’s not as much casual small talk like women in my part of the country will make between each other, that becomes a sudden gap, a lack of daily friendliness that is so, so wonderful. People make small talk differently. Showing happy interest in a child like waving at a toddler in a shopping cart, a NORMAL THING TO DO that is good for a small child’s development and sense of security, is kind of sus suddenly. Men speak differently to one another and it can get weird, you hear people say the quiet stuff out loud, or hear people say things they wouldn’t say to a woman (not all of it bad as in gross, some of it bad as in oh man you have trauma my guy, this is not how it should be).
It’s not, like, REALLY bad for him, but we are adults with partners and an existing friends group. It would be such a different scene if he were younger, dating age, cis, surrounded by cis men, raised cis…the emotional landscape is…not great.
This is toxic masculinity, and it is not a reason for pity or making excuses, but a reason for sympathy.
“Plenty of people go through bad shit and don’t become assholes.” Yeah but some of us DO. I did. Not with masculinity stuff, it was other stuff, but I was a fucking asshole. I had to work on that and recover from it. And the environment a lot of men find themselves in is not super conducive to doing that.
“I want better for you too” is better than “your problems are your own fault”. You have to give a fuck about other people. You just do. You cannot hate or dismiss entire groups of people because of characteristics that are beyond their control, even when those characteristics bestow significant privilege.
“This is a good thing you’re trying to do” is better than “don’t expect praise for being a decent human”. Actually, I’m the kind of person who thinks it is very very important to thank people for doing things like chores and other stuff they should be doing. I think praising people for the slightest fucking thing is important, because I have lived without that and it was so very hurtful. And I think pointing out when a man is being a decent guy in an area where men are often not so decent is a good thing to do.
This isn’t even about being nice to men because their help is needed. It’s about being nice to people when people need help, and there’s some kinds of help that men don’t get as much of. And as we see above, that is just so very, very sad.
Toxic masculinity can make men behave in some pretty unempathetic ways. But our own sexist* ideas about how men are/should be can make us be pretty unsympathetic as well. I think that we need to work on that.
* “All women have an innate mothering urge and their connection to their children is always stronger than men’s” is a sexist idea. The idea that men need less support for child loss is derived from that. It’s a sexist idea too.
Treating all men as aweful or unfeeling doesn’t weaken patriarchy. Most of those kinds of ideas honestly strengthen it, are completely in line with patriarchy. Letting men be soft and vulnerable, helping them with grief and shit, that’s how we do it. Men are humans too. So are women. Were all human.
it does still make me insane specifically how many queer people lovingly embrace astrology. I went to a poetry workshop yesterday that was genuinely quite good but also included an option to disclose astrology designations during introductions and so many people broke out some variation of “I’m a [x] sum but I have a [y] placement and it SHOWS” girl no it doesn’t. that’s meaningless correlation you completely invented the causation
I’d say that rejecting biological determinism in favor of space gas determinism isn’t the slay the astrology queers think it is but if I’m being completely honest I fear that many members of our community haven’t even really rejected biological determinism so much as sprinkled a layer of glitter on it
I would peg you as an Aquarius bc the “tryna be deep” vibe, but I look into the intent and it’s more of an “I’m better than you” vibe and not a “oh if only humanity”, so I say Leo.
what the FUCK are you talking about
As a Virgo I approve that assessment
sorry to be clear you’re approving the assessment where as a bisexual I have a lesser understanding of queerness? you’re signing off on that?
The lady is a succubus, which in this setting is mostly human but with superpowered pheromones that passively make humans aroused just by being in the same room and essentially drug people out of their minds if she touches them directly. [The effect is so strong that there’s an entire government agency devoted to observing (from a long distance) all known succubi to make sure they aren’t starting suicide cults or going on murder-rape binges or whatever.] This causes her a variety of problems in life; she has to get up extremely early and stay at work late to take mostly-empty trains in order to avoid being in a crowded metal box full of humans, for example. But worst is her nonexistent love life, because how can you ever be confident that somebody has genuine romantic feelings for you if you’re supernaturally attractive to everybody? Is it ever morally acceptable to have sex if holding hands is effectively a date-rape drug?
The guy is a perfectly ordinary biology teacher, who crashed into her in the halls on his first day and got a huge dose of aphrodisiac. But she is a Respected Colleague so it would be Highly Unprofessional to think of her that way, not to mention how Inappropriate it would be for a high school teacher to do or say anything while there might be students around, and wait a minute wouldn’t treating her differently just because of her biology be Super Racist? so obviously it is his Duty to act Perfectly Normal and pretend that he Feels Nothing.
She sees that he seems to have no reaction, and this sparks her interest. Is he immune to her powers? Clearly this requires further investigation! For entirely scientific purposes, not because if he falls for her he’d be the first guy she could trust to do so for legitimate non-chemical reasons (and totally not because she might be able to bone him without feeling bad about it).
So you’ve got the world’s dorkiest succubus clumsily trying to seduce this guy and he’s trying very hard to drink enough Respect Women juice to make up for over half his blood travelling south every time he sees her. Then for added fun several of their students catch on to these shenanigans and they ship it so they decide to “help”.
you know I can respect that premise.
I really love the anime this is from, too! Interviews with monster girls. It deals with monsters in every day life, in a realistic way where they have physical challenges living in a world that isn’t designed for them, and face a lot of discrimination and misunderstanding socially. A few monsters find each other in a high school and become great friends who have different challenges (different types of monsters), but understand and support each other. The Biology teacher is interested in what their life is like and is trying to learn more about them by talking to them.
mr beast being sued for labor violations then having his food brand discontinued for mold then being reported to the FBI and now being investigated for roughly $23M in crypto-related insider trading feels like the ultimate don’t stop the party
although no matter how happy i am about his downfall i know i will never feel anywhere near the pure euphoria rosanna pansino must be experiencing right now
mr beast being sued for labor violations then having his food brand discontinued for mold then being reported to the FBI and now being investigated for roughly $23M in crypto-related insider trading feels like the ultimate don’t stop the party
although no matter how happy i am about his downfall i know i will never feel anywhere near the pure euphoria rosanna pansino must be experiencing right now
Lately I’ve been really into being honest to people about my positive feelings towards them. I told my classmate that I’ve admired her creativity from the start and named a project of hers that I loved, and her face lit up! I took the train with a project partner the other day and told her that I always have so much fun with her, and it prompted an entire conversation about the difficulties of graduating from ‘classmates’ to ‘friends’ and both of our insecurities in this regard (and how we’re definitely getting coffee later). I express my gratitude honestly. I say what I feel if I’d be happy hearing it, myself. I remember details so that I can refer to them later. Once you realize how great you can make someone feel, all of those mundane moments become so special. It will maybe even create some lasting connections, something I think we could all use more of.
It’s always fun to be reminded how recent European national identities are. Peasants in 1860’s Sicily had never heard the term “Italy” before, the majority of people in France didn’t speak French at the time of the French Revolution, etc.
from the observations of a british diplomat in the ukraine in 1912, quoted in Bini Adamczacks Beziehungsweise Revolution
[when one asks the avarage peasant farmer in the ukraine about his nationality, he will answer, he is “greek-orthodox”; when one pushes him to say whether he is a russian, a pole, or a ukranian, he will answer, he is a farmer; and when one demands demands to find out which language he speeks, he will say that he speaks “the language from around here”. … i.e. when one wants to find out which state he would like to belong to – whether he would rather be governed by an pan-russian or a specifically ukranian government – one will find out, that in his opinion, all governments are a plague on the land, and it would be best, if the “christian peasantfolk” were left to themselves.]
I have a folder called Time is a Flat Circle in which I collect evidence of humanity. Here is most of them.
Okayokayokayokaybut “My hand will wear out but the inscription will remain” is kind of a power line BEFORE you factor in that it is, in fact, over a thousand years old.
It’s always good to spend a few moments, on a quiet day, looking through the Family album.
I have a folder called Time is a Flat Circle in which I collect evidence of humanity. Here is most of them.
Okayokayokayokaybut “My hand will wear out but the inscription will remain” is kind of a power line BEFORE you factor in that it is, in fact, over a thousand years old.
It’s always good to spend a few moments, on a quiet day, looking through the Family album.
