hi every trans girl in the world if you see this I want you to know you’re so pretty and I love you and I’m glad you’re alive I hope you have a good day
Idk what the fuck is going on! I woke up overdrawn 50 dollars. I can maybe try to get like 15 back but my bank creates a $35 charge for this no matter what.
And I have to somehow get across town for an appointment tomorrow. Not to mention not having clean clothes in the house, still.
Does anyone have 10 to 20 to guarantee that I can receive mental health care tomorrow? If I miss that appointment I have to wait till January to get the ball rolling again.
The 85 I’ll need to be in clear with my bank is second in urgency, though if I got 50 today, I could dodge the overdraft fees entirely, tho. As they only appear in when transactions fully clear.
my friends held an intervention for me to “stop asking intimidately specific questions”. i tried to explain that i am just a good listener but there is apparently “a line between follow-up questions during small talk and interrogation tactics that gets crossed sometimes”. turns out my curious nature is “scaring the hoes”
when i asked for examples i was told that “do you think your tendency to show appreciation through restoration is part of a greater life philosophy or is that coincidental?” and “is your communication with allied forces satellite or radar based and is it vurnerable to cyber attacks?” are apparently “inappropriate questions to ask someone you just met at a club”. but i disagree. as if you wouldn’t be a little bit curious about the answer? yeah that’s what i thought
[ID: question by anonymous: did they answer the question though ///end ID]
the navy officer i asked about cyber attacks did answer my question very thoroughly. he also answered other questions such as “when refueling on sea, which boat is the primary course holder?” and “would switching to another government branch affect your retirement benefits?” and generally provided a lot of information over the course of a fascinating hour that as a former government employee myself i am pretty sure he should not have told me. but i also think he would have told me his social security number if i asked nicely (i didn’t, I was busy learning about the tactical advantages of speedboats).
the guy obsessed with boat refurbishment that i asked about his tendency towards preservation gave me a really haunted look, said “holy fuck” and then after a moment of consideration “i think i am too drunk. i’m going home” and proceeded to leave. in my defense, it was well and truly meant as genuine curiosity and not as the attempt at psychological warfare it turned out to be. he unfortunately did not answer my question.
…he was also the catalyst for the intervention i received.
OP your friends are 100% wrong and “that person at the bar who asks you the question that makes you rethink your whole life because they Actually Listened” is a long, storied and honourable place in the pantheon of strangers you will meet. Sounds like you’re doing a bang up job, well done.
yeah, you’re fine, please keep doing that, it’s important work.
just had to take a fucking second and close my eyes because i remembered that on the night of november 5th tumblr had convinced me, an outsider, that this was an actual gif of Castiel Supernatural being sent to mega fruit hell
We all learnin’ today ig…
Its from the 1997 movie ‘Spawn’ if anyone was curious
btw this is the actual footage of castiel getting dragged to super hell
Parts of the country where self-service gas pumping is illegal.
I didn’t know about New Jersey’s law so imagine my shock when a pump jockey sprinted at my car and kicked my door shut when I tried to get out to get gas. I rolled down my window and asked him “Is there a law against pumping your own gas or something?” And he looked at me like I’M nuts and just said “…yes?”
okay but imagine this in the reverse. when i left new jersey as a driver for the first time and sat in my car for about ten minutes wondering where the attendant was until a nice man tapped on my window and just said the words “New Jersey?” and when I nodded he told me to get out of the car so he could teach me how to pump gas (and nicely didn’t laugh at me when I shot gas out of the nozzle across the side of my car).
me and the boys (all from new jersey) went on a road trip out of state and had to get gas and it ended up being sort of a Group Puzzle for the gang as we huddled around the gas pump and nozzle and tank and whatnot. just picture five people standing around the gas tank opening like its part of an escape room. it was very silly.
So I guess the answer to “How many Jersey Boys does it take to figure out a gas pump?” is “At least 4”
favorite part of art school is if you’re like crap i forgot (extremely miscelaneous tool) someone will be like. oh yeah you can borrow mine and just pull it out their pocket. no explanation why they just have an uncovered and very sharp awl in their skinny jeans. they just do
Concept I’ve been stewing on for a while here. I’ve got a name for it now and I’m calling it the Shot Dog Factor. It’s a numerical value, assignable to any internet post, which represents the average number of engagements it needs to reach before someone comes along acting like this post shot their dog.
And for the sake of High Number = More Danger, which feels like the intuitive and sensible read, let’s call it the inverse. As in the chance that any given interaction results in a Shot Dog response.
“Hee hee haa haa” type of silly shitpost? Low Shot Dog Factor. Largely safe. A genuine political opinion? Critically high Shot Dog Factor. Guaranteed to elicit such a response if it breaks containment.
As a result of this phenomenon, you see phrasings and circumventions added specifically to lower the Shot Dog factor. Every “now I know this doesn’t apply to EVERYONE’S specific situation, but I just think–” about something where the non-specificity was obvious, but OP needed to add that disclaimer to avoid the Shot Dog from someone who thinks it needs to apply to them.
And another–perhaps the most–critical thing to understand about the Shot Dog factor is that 0 is not a valid value. There’s a discontinuation at 0. And as such, the Shot Dog limit, as engagement goes to infinity is, in fact, 100%. Any and every post you have ever made, given enough containment breaching, WILL piss someone off in wild ways. You can lower the Shot Dog factor but it is never 0. Sometimes when a post of yours escapes containment, you must simply sit back and accept this reality.
“i’m too old to trick-or-treat” what the HELL are u talking about. that is FREE candy. in this economy. “i’m too old to make responsible financial decisions” you sound like a goddamn lunatic
Is this enough candy for you
forget shein hauls this is what we’re doing now
my haul from this year :)
the time-honored primal need to sort & quantify brightly colored sugary items, im so autistic right now
[ID: a screenshot of a comic speech bubble. The black text inside of it reads “No matter how open-minded, socially conscious, anti-racist I think I am, I still have old learned hidden biases that I need to examine. It is my responsibility to check myself daily for my stereotypes, prejudices and, ultimately, discrimination.” /ID end]
watching death note with my family and after the college entrance episode my mom asked offhandedly if anyone had ever pictured L and light as a couple before. it felt like one single white dove had landed on a crystalline lake in a beautiful pure clearing. no i dont think anyones ever thought of that before
may be important to note that she also asked jokingly if the tennis scene served as an inspiration for Challengers (2024). this woman is tapped into modes of fujoshism i didnt even know were possible
Customer: *Squilliam voice*On your lunch break, Squiddy? Employee: *Squidward voice* Squilliam Fancyson from band class?! Customer: Still playing the cash register, are we? *Squilliam laugh*
My sibling is alt-right and extremely hateful about his beliefs. He goes on tirades about liberal agendas and screams and insults me and our other family members when we attempt to debate with him. I live with him and being around him negatively impacts my mental health, especially with me being part of some of the groups he hates so much. I don’t know what to do. I feel so much hatred for him, but he’s my brother and we used to be close.
Members of the so-called “alt right” or “manosphere” actually bear very strong similarities to cult members - they become increasingly rigid in their beliefs, they have decreasing tolerance for ambiguity (everything starts to become either right or wrong, with no room for grey areas), they become increasingly preoccupied with “purity” of thought, their beliefs start to become the core of their personal identity, they accept the word of thought leaders without question or critical thinking, their relationships with family and friends deteriorate, and they often experience negative consequences at work or school as a direct result of their beliefs.
Dealing with a friend or family member who has joined the alt-right is very different from dealing with a family member who is dabbling with the idea of voting Conservative for economic reasons, or dealing with a family member who erroneously believes that Game of Thrones isn’t very good. Reasoned discussion and laying out your point of view will not work here. The tactics that you need to use with him are actually the tactics used to deprogram cult members, which includes things like:
Do not debate him. Never debate a cult member under any circumstances. It’s a complete waste of time for everybody involved, and it only serves to further entrench him in his toxic beliefs. Cult members do not approach debates in good faith - they are not open to having their minds changed, and they have no intention of ever listening to the other side. Cult members use debate as a tool to recruit people with possibly like-minded beliefs, or as a tool to gather evidence that the “other side” is delusional. The more you debate, the harder he will fight to come up with justifications for his beliefs, and the more satisfaction he will get from feeling like he is defending his “side” from attack. Shut down all debate with him. If he tries to start a debate, redirect immediately. If he makes an inflammatory statement at the dinner table, respond with something non-committal ( “hmmmmm”, “is that so?”, “okay” ) and immediately change the subject. Don’t get sucked in. No matter how hard he tries to open up a debate, deflect, shut him down, or walk away.
Treat him with detached politeness. I know that it is very difficult not to get visibly upset when someone is insulting the very core of who you are as a person and what you believe, but but you have to stay calm and detached here. Do not let him see that he is upsetting you. When he is going on rants about his beliefs, treat him like a child who is explaining the rules to a video game that you don’t particularly care about - have an air of detached boredom, and no matter how hostile he gets, respond only with politeness. Remember, part of the core beliefs he’s being fed is that people outside of the alt-right are “emotional”, and that his beliefs are “triggering” to those people. Give him no evidence to suggest that is true. Stonewall him. Give him nothing but bored stoicism in response to his outbursts. No matter how much he escalates or how horrifying his beliefs get, always act as though you are having a polite conversation about the weather with a stranger at Starbucks. If he tells you that women should should be property and gays should be killed, respond only with a polite “Well, I suppose that’s one perspective”, or “Yes, I believe you have mentioned this before”. Nothing takes the wind out of a cult member’s sails faster than being treated with calm politeness when they are expecting a fight.
Do not insult him or the people who share his beliefs. The glue that holds cults together is a persecution complex. Cults absolutely thrive on being persecuted for their beliefs, and they depend on it to keep members from leaving. “People outside this group hate you and they will treat you much worse than we will” is the message that keeps people from leaving hateful cults, all the way up until the Kool-Aid is served. He is being fed the message by his fellow cult members that he is hated for who he is - a, presumably, straight white man - and that “Liberals” hate him so much that they want to take away the things he is “owed” (money, power, security, etc) and give it away to undeserving minorities who haven’t really “earned” it. Give him no evidence to suggest that this is true. Refrain from insulting him, or insulting the people he views as thought leaders or role models. You can definitely express your political opinions and make it clear that you are not buying into your brother’s worldview, but keep things direct and refrain from personal attacks. If he is gloating about the president to intentionally get a rise out of you, a simple “I disagree with his policies” is all you have to say - launching into attacks about the president’s looks, family, mannerisms or intelligence is fuel for your brother’s hateful beliefs. Remember that when it comes to your brother, you are not acting in the role of a left-wing activist facing off against a dangerous right-wing activist with a platform. You are a concerned family member dealing with a family member who has gotten involved in a cult.
Ask polite questions, but do not engage directly with his beliefs. Do not read any of the reading material he recommends, listen to any of the podcasts he puts forward or view any of the videos he asks you to watch; it might be tempting to do so just to prove that you are engaging with him in “good faith” and that you have given his views an “honest try”, but this is a mistake. There is no such thing as “good faith” or intellectual honesty when it comes to cults, and there is nothing to gain from engaging in their propaganda. Do not treat anything produced or recommended by a cult as if it has value, because it does not. When he provides you with something he wants to you read, behave as though a young child has just handed you a live earthworm - thank him for the gesture, but decline to accept. Engaging with propaganda just legitimizes it, and gives him more ammunition to hunker down in his beliefs. When you do ask questions of his beliefs, be detached and polite. If he is ranting that all women are whores, ask him what the basis is for that belief. You are not looking to debate him or get a rise out of him - don’t fire back with counter-points, but make a polite, disinterested noise of acknowledgement, or ask for further clarification. You are merely looking for holes in his reasoning, or gaps where he doesn’t have evidence to back up what he says. You don’t need to point these holes out to him - there will be many. When he is unable to be specific, once again, make a polite acknowledgement ( “Interesting.” ) and move on.
Emphasize how much you miss your former relationship with him. Tell your brother that you miss him. Be specific - talk about the things that you used to do together, and the ways that he used to be involved in your life. If he tries to deflect and start talking about his beliefs again, or how he can’t be involved with you anymore because of your own beliefs or identity, don’t engage. Go back to talking about how you miss the relationship you used to have with him. If he insults you, pretend you didn’t hear him and remind him of a happy memory or a fun thing that you used to do together. It can take a really long time to have success with this tactic, but your brother does remember the relationship he used to have with you, and it is possible to remind him of what he is missing out on by continuing with his hateful beliefs. The idea is to take his beliefs out of the equation as much as possible - make him miss the relationship that he used to have. Any attempt at mending the relationship on his end will necessarily require that he get less extreme in his beliefs - it’s difficult to pursue a close relationship with someone and still insult them.
Remind him of normal life outside the cult. People in the alt-right - and other cults - tend to become hyper-focused only on issues that concern the cult, and begin to forget about normal life. Your brother is likely spending a lot of time and focus on things like the “sexual marketplace”, abortion rights, refugees, gay rights, female superhero movies etc. Bring him back to earth as often as you can with reminders of things that are outside the scope of the alt-right, and are minimally politically charged. Start a conversation about a new restaurant that is opening up in your town. Show him a funny cat video. Ask him if he’s seen a minimally controversial movie. Constant reminds of normalcy can gradually help him realize how hyper-focused he has become on a few small issues, and remind him that his worldview and priorities are incredibly skewed.
Protect your own mental health. Living with a cult member is exhausting. The combination of fending off the insults, being bombarded with hate rhetoric and missing the person they used to be is exhausting. Make sure you are protecting your own mental health. Take breaks. Leave the house and spend time with other people. Lean on friends and other family members for support. Take care of yourself. Getting someone out of a cult is a marathon, not a sprint, and it’s important to conserve your energy. It can take up to five years to get someone to fully leave cult beliefs behind. Be patient.
One of the hard parts about dealing with alt-right family members is that people make the mistake of approaching them as a political movement, when it is more appropriate to address them as a cult. The way that they operate is much more similar to the dynamics of a cult than the dynamics of a mainstream political movement, and deprogramming techniques are your best bet for getting your family member back. I highly recommend that you and your family read up on cults and the tactics used to get people out of them. It is especially helpful to read testimony from people who have escaped cults or successfully been persuaded to leave them - if possible, look for materials from people who have left the alt-right, and try to present this material to your brother. This is an incredibly difficult thing for a family to go through, and I highly recommend that you seek out other families who are dealing with similar situations - you are far from alone here.
Best of luck to all of you.
There’s a reason we call Qanon followers Qultists.
The subreddit r/QanonCasualties is also a good resource, or at least a place to find people who have experienced having their loved ones radicalized by the alt-right and having discussions on the topic.
Kelpie was just strolling along in the yard with me the other day without a care in the world when she saw this dandelion puff and suddenly stopped short like “WHOA, what the fuck is that??”
Not much fazes her like this so I don’t know what it was about the dandelion puff that alarmed my normally confident puppy but she puzzled it out and it was very cute! xD
Did you name your dog after a different breed of dog
kelpies are mythical creatures.
They are also a breed of dog
I am aware of the breed of dog by the same name… But she is not named after the breed of dog lol
Her name is a combo meaning, coming from kelp as in seaweed, and kelpies as in the mythical creatures. I wanted a nautical themed name for her and thought it would be a good one for the additional reference to the water horse monsters given that Dalmatians have history of working alongside horses! :)
kelpies also are not dogs - they are ‘horse like"
Grims are dogs.
the reading comprehension and general common sense on this website is piss poor.
ALT
ALT
![zubat: [dog voice] oof](../media/c4aeaf6f287bbbdc8938b3a6a8130fd8445d7104.gif)
