If you’ve committed a crime and a detective gathers everyone involved in the room, especially if he’s not actually a detective and is instead a novelist, puzzle-setter, psychic, fake psychic, dog, chess grandmaster, etc. …
YOU SHOULD NOT CONFESS.
Every year, hundreds of people are put away by non-traditional “detectives” who have either inserted themselves into the case or are working with the police in a dubiously legal capacity as advisor. In 99% of these cases, the murderer gives a full confession even though the evidence against them is circumstantial at best and often requires a long just-so story which can only guess at motive.
If this happens to you, stay quiet, do not attempt to defend yourself or talk your way out of it, only say “I want a lawyer”.
Now if you find yourself being investigated by a boy genius, magician’s assistant, anthropologist, classics scholar, or philosopher, it’s likely that refusing to talk to the police (or investigator with no legal authority) is merely the end of the second act, and by the end of the third act they will have you dead to rights.
YOU SHOULD STILL NOT CONFESS.
Make them take it to court. Force the eccentric detective and his straight-laced police partner to take the stand and explain their methods to a jury of your peers. Have your lawyer look at the chain of custody on the evidence, especially if you believe it to have been handled by someone who has only bumbled into detective work through their natural charm and/or unique set of skills and outsider perspective that come in handy more often than they should.
Know your rights. Don’t let eccentric detectives put you away.
You order a package off Amazon. When the Amazon delivery guy shows up to your door, instead of giving you the package you bought, he beats the shit out of you. Then, when he sees that you are not dead yet, he calls all of the Amazon delivery people in the area and they all proceed to beat the shit out of you. Miraculously, you survive. Another miracle: a friend in your neighborhood caught the assault on video. After a month of recovery and extensive hospital bills that you have no idea what to do with, the video has gone viral. You read the comments below. “This is what happens to people who fuck with Amazon!!!” Someone says. “I’ve never been beaten up by Amazon employees, and I’ve been using them all my life!” Someone else comments. Later, you start to see articles popping up about your story. They all mention that when you were 17, your license was revoked for reckless driving. In a Facebook post on your mom’s feed, someone is going on a rant about how not all Amazon delivery guys are bad, and that if you look really close, the “bad” ones are just stressed out. Your name is trending on Twitter. Jeff Bezos films a response to your attack, denouncing the video of you getting beaten to within an inch of your life by his employees as becoming “a symbol of hate towards Amazon.” The people who attacked you still deliver packages around your neighborhood. You saw one of them just yesterday as you were watering your plants. You still can’t pay your hospital bills. Your phone dings- Twitter again. “Maybe if you didn’t order from Amazon,” someone pipes up, “this wouldn’t have happened!”
Hi guys, Gaming Peter here to explain the joke. Boy, at first when I saw this meme about a 3 day no gaming challenge I was freakin’ angry! No gaming for 3 days!? But then I remembered, and this is freakin’ hilarious by the way, February only has 28 days! I can keep gaming. Freakin’ sweet!
i feel like a big part of the “two nickels” joke that most people don’t appreciate (as it has sort of become lost in translation since becoming a meme) is the fact that we have absolutely zero knowledge of how doofenshmirtz was doomed by a puppet the first time. the original punchline was about making us think “how the hell has that happened to him before”
Toddlers are so pure. She doesn’t understand that we help her with certain things because she’s little. She thinks that everyone just helps each other like that. So she tries to blow on my food and cut it up for me and tries to help me put on my shoes.
i was giving little wagon rides to a baby around the backyard one day and all of a sudden she hops off and slaps the seat of the wagon telling me to get on because it was my turn and i was like no it’s ok im too heavy and she was like NO ITS UR TURN and kept tugging on my hand so i would sit down. eventually i got on and it was just a little 2 year old trying so hard to push me around on a wagon not understanding why it wouldn’t budge but still so determined to let me have my turn lol
I don’t think I’d realised how many casual compliments we pay to our toddler until she started casually complimenting us back, because experience has taught her that’s How Social Interaction Is Done, and there’s nothing quite like a very earnest three-year-old solemnly and sincerely informing you that you look wonderful and smell nice to make you feel really good about yourself
I tell her she’s my best girl. She tells me I’m her best auntie. Then we both feel good about the world!
Teach them kindness.
my little cousin is 3 and she stands there and goes “you’re doing it!” whenever i’m like, making food for us, or doing the laundry, or pushing her in a stroller up a hill. she is the most encouraging sweetheart.
“What is it that the child has to teach? The child naively believes that everything should be fair and everyone should be honest, that only good should prevail, that everybody should have what they want and there should be no pain or sadness. The child believes the world should be perfect and is outraged to discover it is not. And the child is right.” - Rabbi Tzvi Freeman
do something nice for yourself today, ideally MORE than one thing, but at least one.
it can be as small as making a cup of tea with a flavor you like or taking a second to sip on your coffee, really pay attention to how it tastes and the feeling of the warm cup in your hands.
take an extra break at work. take it in the bathroom if you have to, but give yourself that extra time. deep breaths.
get a little snack. something that you might not normally allow yourself.
If it makes any of you feel better, Donald Trump will have an uphill battle to change the constitution. He will need:
-2/3 of Senators (60)
-2/3 of the House of Representatives (290)
-¾ of the states (38)
In 2026, 33 senate seats will be up for grabs, and we’ll be able to vote for people who are against Trump and his ideals.
Breathe and remain hopeful because it’s not over. We can still fight and make Trump’s last four years hell.
This is so important. Also pay attention to local elections. Now more than ever it’s important to have staunch anti Trump democrats at every level of government - from school boards to senate seats. Apathy and not voting helped Trump win. Now is the time to wake up and get serious and hold on to the freedoms we have left. We have got to fight for every inch of territory. Do not give up. Do not give him any more power than he already has.
To all those who don’t know I posted a Fiverr gig for anyone who wants a narrative designer for their project. Whether if it’s for a comic, video game, it does not matter, I promise to write and make it an engaging story. But also recently I was made aware that people may commission for fanfic or fan game writing in stead. For people looking for that these are the anime’s I am well aware and familiar with if you want a fanfic or fan game about them: Dragon Ball Z, Fairy Tail, Little Witch Academia, RWBY, Final Fantasy, The Legend of Zelda, Danganronpa, BNA, Gundam: The Witch of Mercury, Sonic the Hedgehog, Amphibia, the Owl House, Undertale, Deltarune, Nasuverse, Disgaea, and Omori. If you want a fanfic written about these works please contact me, this will be updated on the Fiverr gig too along with some other important information. That is all and have a good day ❤️
“Third party traitors deserve to be mocked and punished like the fascists” you should know that you sound exactly like a fascist right now and might want to look into how and why if you don’t want to be one.
I think a healthy thing to do after a United States election is to publicly describe visions of impending scenarios from your young adult dystopia novel of choice with ironclad certainty
im seeing a lot of “queer people dont kill yourselves” posts and yes, i agree but also poc folks dont kill yourselves. you’re needed in this space just as much as the white folks are. we will get through this hand in hand together
Never mention a possible pregnancy/abortion to anyone, especially not through a social media app messaging service such as messenger, WhatsApp, Instagram DMs, Snapchat, etc.
Delete all period tracking apps and to start tracking using a planner or physical calendar
Book appointments for a form of birth control if possible, or to always carry condoms for yourself and other
Look into sterilization options if that is the route you want to go down (here is a list of 1000 doctors willing to sterilize you without a fight)
Protect your fellow person, protect the women in your life, the queer people, the disabled people, everyone will be affected by this
Form communities. Tell your people that you love them. Protect one another. Check in on one another. None of us are alone.
i find it so interesting how people act like “critically examining a piece of media” is the opposite of “enjoying that piece of media.” rip to you but i actually find it really enjoyable and compelling to dissect and think through the art i engage with
i find it so interesting how people act like “critically examining a piece of media” is the opposite of “enjoying that piece of media.” rip to you but i actually find it really enjoyable and compelling to dissect and think through the art i engage with
lying down for 50 minutes to imagine in real time the experience of walking to trader joes and buying a single pea and walking back home and getting out a cutting board and a knife and skinning and chopping one pea and sprinkling it into a tank with one fish in it
Can’t reply so I’ll reblog but guys please don’t give your betta fish peas. They are carnivores it’ll fuck them up lmao. Giving your fish peas is helpful for fish like goldfish. NOT BETTAS
(there’s a lot of people asking about this, but the legal age to use social media is 13, except in few countries. so yes, there are people here under 15)
at the end of the day i think commies here do get too stressed about whether people agree with them or not. this is not a revolutionary party it is a blogging website we’re not practicing democratic centralism innit. obviously not that i think its bad to see a post and say ‘i think this is wrong, for these reasons’, i do that all the time–just that not everything has to be prosecuted with the force and vitriol of a life-or-death ideological struggle. i like that there’s people on this website who think i am wrong and my ideas are facile and i just feel like getting mad at them about that would be kind of disproportionate and silly of me innit
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