me: today is going really well and i don’t trust it some shit: *starts happening* me: ah there it is. the Fuckening™
just wanted to shout out this ancient post i made like 23 years ago & since then has been grasped firmly by the internet but repackaged in memes divorced utterly from its painfully 2016 tumblr origins.
frauds and heretics have stolen this definition from its ecosystem. it came from here it lives here it is of this earth and should have never been removed. i love u fuckening post. i am sorry they shaved all of the cringe off u and made a simulacrum of u in their shame. but i remember. i know from whence u came.
Just made up a cocktail and it’s uh, well it isn’t bad but I certainly won’t be making it again. It’s shrek green, it smells like deodorant, and it tastes like nothing while still being a flavour of some description
If you want to make it for yourself:
1 oz frangelico ½ oz vodka ½ oz midori ½ oz lemon juice ½ oz lime juice
Wishing all undiagnosed/partially diagnosed people a very doctors listening to you and providing you with more testing than a blood draw and even possibly providing treatment 2024
from what i can tell this guy got in a serious accident while tryna clean his teeth
im not very tuned into the indie gaming scene so when i saw a bunch of posts of what appeared to be a skinless man in bandages tagged “mouthwashing” i was like. damn. you know how it is with dental hygiene.
Imagine hearing this behind the bush and you thought its a cat 💀💀
You could probably pet it tho! Cheetahs are so endangered that the only reason they’re not extinct yet is because of extensive human efforts, and cheetahs aren’t blind. Pretty much every cheetah alive is habituated to humans, to the point that even the ‘wildest’ cheethas that have had the least possible amount of human contact are still going to walk up to their wildlife reservation guard with their cubs and make him their babysitter for the day. Researchers studying cheethas have quite literally slept cuddled up to them. While they still couldn’t be considered domesticated, humans have never really been their prey, and have become habituated (out of necessity, mind you) to the point you’d have to do something EXTREMELY stupid to get killed by a cheetah. And yo’d probably have to do most of the work.
And the cheethas that have been socialized with helper dogs? If they see you petting their dog brother, there is a very good chance they will allow you to pet them as well. If you’re good and the zookeeper lets you, ofc.
Imagine hearing this behind the bush and you thought its a cat 💀💀
You could probably pet it tho! Cheetahs are so endangered that the only reason they’re not extinct yet is because of extensive human efforts, and cheetahs aren’t blind. Pretty much every cheetah alive is habituated to humans, to the point that even the ‘wildest’ cheethas that have had the least possible amount of human contact are still going to walk up to their wildlife reservation guard with their cubs and make him their babysitter for the day. Researchers studying cheethas have quite literally slept cuddled up to them. While they still couldn’t be considered domesticated, humans have never really been their prey, and have become habituated (out of necessity, mind you) to the point you’d have to do something EXTREMELY stupid to get killed by a cheetah. And yo’d probably have to do most of the work.
And the cheethas that have been socialized with helper dogs? If they see you petting their dog brother, there is a very good chance they will allow you to pet them as well. If you’re good and the zookeeper lets you, ofc.
character misses their shot and the villain goes “ha! you missed.” and the main character goes “did i?” and then shoots the villain again while they’re frantically looking around the room for what the hero could possibly have aiming for instead
i hate the notes on this so much so many people are saying shit like “and then the hero shoots the villain while they’re looking around!! XD” THAT’S WHAT THE POST ALREADY SAID. THAT’S THE ENTIRE JOKE.
There’s a Pukicho post like this I need to find it
maybe… they DIDN’T miss part of the post…! (starts frantically looking around)
(i shoot you while youre looking around)
and then while i’m frantically looking around you shoot me for real this time XD
Omg you missed part of the post
did i? 😏
(frantically looks around)
(i raise my gun to shoot you while you’re distracted but the bullet i already fired ricochets all around the room and hits me in the back of the head, killing me instantly)
character misses their shot and the villain goes “ha! you missed.” and the main character goes “did i?” and then shoots the villain again while they’re frantically looking around the room for what the hero could possibly have aiming for instead
i hate the notes on this so much so many people are saying shit like “and then the hero shoots the villain while they’re looking around!! XD” THAT’S WHAT THE POST ALREADY SAID. THAT’S THE ENTIRE JOKE.
There’s a Pukicho post like this I need to find it
maybe… they DIDN’T miss part of the post…! (starts frantically looking around)
(i shoot you while youre looking around)
and then while i’m frantically looking around you shoot me for real this time XD
Omg you missed part of the post
did i? 😏
(frantically looks around)
(i raise my gun to shoot you while you’re distracted but the bullet i already fired ricochets all around the room and hits me in the back of the head, killing me instantly)
(THE ENORMOUS WASP PERCHED UPON MY WALL, A SHADOW IN THE CORNER OF MY EYE) It’s best that you wake up, darling. Keep sleepin’ and you’ll end up like my sisters. Dead and dreaming at the bottom of a cup of artificial sweet syrup. Bubbly cola fillin’ their hollow corpses up to the brim.
That’s not the way you want to go, is it? A sweet drink ain’t always it. The easy way out isn’t always the best.
(THE ENORMOUS WASP PERCHED UPON MY WALL, A SHADOW IN THE CORNER OF MY EYE) It’s best that you wake up, darling. Keep sleepin’ and you’ll end up like my sisters. Dead and dreaming at the bottom of a cup of artificial sweet syrup. Bubbly cola fillin’ their hollow corpses up to the brim.
That’s not the way you want to go, is it? A sweet drink ain’t always it. The easy way out isn’t always the best.
(THE ENORMOUS WASP PERCHED UPON MY WALL, A SHADOW IN THE CORNER OF MY EYE) It’s best that you wake up, darling. Keep sleepin’ and you’ll end up like my sisters. Dead and dreaming at the bottom of a cup of artificial sweet syrup. Bubbly cola fillin’ their hollow corpses up to the brim.
That’s not the way you want to go, is it? A sweet drink ain’t always it. The easy way out isn’t always the best.
(THE ENORMOUS WASP PERCHED UPON MY WALL, A SHADOW IN THE CORNER OF MY EYE) It’s best that you wake up, darling. Keep sleepin’ and you’ll end up like my sisters. Dead and dreaming at the bottom of a cup of artificial sweet syrup. Bubbly cola fillin’ their hollow corpses up to the brim.
That’s not the way you want to go, is it? A sweet drink ain’t always it. The easy way out isn’t always the best.
I don’t fuck w nerds, the moment I can smell lore correction coming I’m like “Oh Neptune” and I gotta call my mom and ask her to pick me up
If I’m like “I really liked the scene where Gandalf learns the truth about the Ring in the first movie” and someone’s like “Oh you mean when he was in Minas Tirith, originally known as Minas Anor when it was first built in the Third Age?” I am pulling the nearest fire alarm
Them: Pelargir prospered further under the reign of the the Ship-kings, and Tarannon Falastur, 12th king of Gondor, built a home there, though Berúthiel, his wife, didn’t care for it
Me, sweating: D. Did you know that. That Viggo Mortensen really broke his toe. In that one scene
hey quick question, probably not important - how did you know all that stuff to put in the hypotheticals
[Throws smoke bomb down on the floor] [When the smoke clears I am still in the room with you but lying facedown, possibly dead but more likely unconscious. There is a visible dent in the nearest door.]
ALT
‘The sad thing is that I just wanted to talk about your poor smoke-bomb techniques.’
The number of people in the notes of this being like “lol i’m the motorist” with 0 sense of shame or self awareness is crazy. You should all get your licenses taken away
If you are a USAmerican in a relationship that might be affected by legislation that dissolves same-sex marriages, who may no longer be recognized as next-of-kin, especially if you have children, get your rights in writing!
Your marriage certificate may not be enough to prove you have rights to make medical decisions for non-biological children or for a same-sex spouse or partner.
Go to a lawyer, get it spelled out as clearly as possible that you have a voice in emergency medical and legal situations.
For those of us who aren’t lawyers or well-versed in law generally, can someone clarify what kind of document, by name, people should be drafting with their lawyers? Is it a type of letter, or is there a name for this classification of document? I’m aware that it probably varies by US state, but a lot of people are likely feeling extremely lost right now and don’t know where to start on this. I definitely don’t. I live in a state that isn’t likely to nullify existing marriages or prevent new ones from taking place, but who knows what they’re going to try at the national level and enforce from the top down.
Power of Attorney should cover most partners and spouses to ensure that they will be making each other’s health care decisions in cases of serious illness. LGBTQ+ spouses and domestic partners must execute proper Health Care Power of Attorney documents listing each other as the highest priority agents for making each other’s health care decisions in case of incapacity.
ALT
