ok i cant take not knowing. what the hell even is dragon age. ive never seen it mentioned anywhere outside of this blog and the monstrous productions server. i feel like a scholar going mad with a thirst for arcane knowledge
omg I love that you’ve been sitting there for however many weeks like, “Wow what an infinitely googleable conundrum. Guess I’ll never know!”
Dragon Age is a series of fantasy adventure RPGs (and some books and spin-off things but mostly the games) by Bioware that has made many people insane for many reasons.
Veilguard is the 4th game in the series, it came out this Hallowe'en just gone. The 3rd game came out ten years ago. As you can imagine, the people who have been insane about Dragon Age for over a decade have generally all gone a little more insane with this new release.
Trying to be as objective as I can, I think the reason DA makes people insane is that the games tend to fall into that sweet spot of “good enough to make you love it, bad enough to make you want to fix it”. The combat is pretty universally terrible, the writing is uneven and occasionally appalling, but each game has a set of companions for you to obsess over and a lot of people feel very strongly about the player characters they’ve created for each game.
I also think DA does a really good job of pretending that your choices really matter from game to game, even though we all know it’s just set dressing. You’re never going to get a profoundly different game than anyone else, but you still get to feel attached to the decisions you do make. In a lot of ways, the game you’re enjoying as you play a Dragon Age game is at least 50% made up in your own head and has to do with how you’re projecting onto the world and the roleplaying choices you’re making. And I love it very very very very much 💖💖💖💖💖💖
he had promised to fully deregulate and privatize food safety inspections in his second term. this is to favor massive producers and reduce their costs at the expense of public health and safety. the reason why I make immediate mention of this is because anything that can be construed as “culture war” makes the news and everyone finds out about. these things, however, happen quietly because they aren’t sensational stories for the media to profit off of clicks with. the recent numerous recalls can be tied back to these first term rollbacks, which went over so quietly and discreetly no one demanded reinstatement during the Biden admin.
The republicans have the senate but not a supermajority so as usual nothing is going to happen
Filibuster. Why does it exist? To stop things from happening. Things will continue to not happen.
Also republicans hate government. They don’t want the government to be doing things. Mitch McConnell will not bring bills to the floor. That’s what he did last time. He physically hoarded them in his office.
I wouldn’t be surprised if we get a government shutdown or two in the next couple of years. The margins are close enough that the democrats will be able to raise a stink about the budget. That could cause some problems. It seems like the republicans hold everything but not by an insane amount. Predict a lot of gridlock coming up. Even less happening than usual and the things that do happen either being not very fun or purely utilitarian required to keep stuff going level stuff
Also I will say that if your local congressperson is a Republican, still write them letters about bills you care about and tell your family and friends to do so as well. Especially if they’re a moderate. Especially if it’s an issue relevant to people in your region.
Don’t tell them in your letters or calls that you’re not a Republican. Don’t tell them what your party affiliation is. Emphasize how much you love your region and your country and gosh darn it would be so important to me if this or that didn’t happen sir. Similar rules apply if you get the opportunity to meet them in person. No matter what you’re an everyday person totally relatable to a conservative and gosh darn sir you’re just so concerned about what it’ll do to this great city of ours so what are you planning to do about it
And again, get all your family and friends to do the same if you can.
I want to say in response to a certain kind of sentiment that no I’m not asking you to “appeal to the morality of your oppressors”. I’m saying pretend to be one of them for just long enough that they’ll listen to you. Bring up something they’ll like. If you’re a person of faith, maybe bring that up. They don’t need to know which faith. If you have a traditionally blue collar job, bring that up. If you have kids, bring that up. If you’re a law student, bring that up. If you were born and raised in your district, if you or your family own a business, if you hunt for your food, if it’s relevant and a conservative would trust you more if you brought it up, bring it up. They don’t need to know you’re queer, they don’t need to know your race, they don’t need to know your political party. You can however heavily imply that you might be the sort of person who would vote for them and wouldn’t it be a shame if they pissed that kind of person off
I don’t fuck w nerds, the moment I can smell lore correction coming I’m like “Oh Neptune” and I gotta call my mom and ask her to pick me up
If I’m like “I really liked the scene where Gandalf learns the truth about the Ring in the first movie” and someone’s like “Oh you mean when he was in Minas Tirith, originally known as Minas Anor when it was first built in the Third Age?” I am pulling the nearest fire alarm
Them: Pelargir prospered further under the reign of the the Ship-kings, and Tarannon Falastur, 12th king of Gondor, built a home there, though Berúthiel, his wife, didn’t care for it
Me, sweating: D. Did you know that. That Viggo Mortensen really broke his toe. In that one scene
hey quick question, probably not important - how did you know all that stuff to put in the hypotheticals
[Throws smoke bomb down on the floor] [When the smoke clears I am still in the room with you but lying facedown, possibly dead but more likely unconscious. There is a visible dent in the nearest door.]
I hate correcting customers who call me ma'am and miss and honey over the phone, because only about 30 percent of the time do they apologize and start calling me sir, while 70 percent of the time they double down assuming I was trans and continue misgendering me on purpose to show how little respect they have for me as a human being. “Thank you, MISS.”
I’m a cis man, for the record.
Whenever I correct someone and they keep it up, I simply refuse service. “Oh, I’m sorry, we’re completeley booked up the day you wanted. Yeah, no, we’re booked up on your backup dates too. Looks like our next opening isn’t until, hmm, mid-November. Oh, but it doesn’t have enough beds for your party. We could probably fit you in around New Years, but you’d have to change rooms every day. You might wanna try [more expensive motel] a few blocks north of us, they might have vacancies. Have a good day.”
I’ve been able to dodge what few complaints we’ve gotten so far because they all tell my boss that they just spoke to a very nasty woman, and she has no idea who they’re talking about. “You must have dialed the wrong number, because I’m the only woman here, and I didn’t talk to you.” That PISSES THEM OFF, and she doesn’t understand why they respond with “well we’ve been staying there for years, but we’re never coming back.” They think she’s protecting me, an afab trans man, and are disgusted by it, but from her perspective they’re just crazy people who are complaining about made up bullshit; it doesn’t even cross her mind that they’re talking about me. Why would it?
My boss is like 70 or 75, and was a Republican until 2016. It’s never come up in conversation, but something tells me she wouldn’t exactly be a trans ally. I’m in a weird position here, and it’s hilarious.
pro tip: if a friend is a self hate spiral telling them they’re good or loved won’t help cause they won’t believe it. talk to them about things they like or random funny stuff, distract them ya know?
this is good advice but i wanna add that if ur friend is in a doom spiral now is probably the best chance youll get to attack them while they’re guard is down 👍
i want to take the time to talk about a series of disabilities that no one takes seriously or even recognizes as a disability, which is food intolerances, and allergies. if a person can get sick if they eat the wrong foods, they are disabled, as this illness will make them unable to function all because they ate the wrong food. it’s not okay to guilt someone for seeking foods that won’t injure them.
in 2022, i began to lose my ability to digest land meats (pork, chicken, cow, etc.), animal milks, and eggs. it started slowly but quickly progressed to every type of land meat. i am only able to digest seafood, plants, nuts, seeds safely without becoming horribly sick. i tried to buy cow’s milk because it is cheaper recently and became so ill it was genuinely traumatic. i have never been that sick in my life before. i cannot safely ingest cow’s milk, the cheaper option, because it will injure me for several days or even weeks at a time. this happens to me with all land meats as well.
i cannot eat eggs. i cannot fried rice that has egg, i cannot eat most sauces like mayo or ranch dressing because of their high egg content. i cannot eat anything dressed in mayo as a sauce. anything that is baked or brushed or washed with egg is a risk. my digestive system really hates eggs in particular and they are inescapable.
people who can’t digest or process lactose, gluten, meats, seafood, eggs, nuts, seeds, beans, fiber, certain fats, proteins or sugars don’t have their needs considered very often, nor taken seriously, especially when that person is poor. people with digestive issues need to be able to eat foods that don’t hurt us- it’s not our faults that alternative milks, breads, pizzas, snacks, sauces, dips, spreads, meats and more are significantly more expensive. we still need to be able to eat foods that don’t harm us regardless of how much money we make.
Believe me or not I’m not going to go all out and say that Donald Trump cheated, things look incredibly suspicious RN and I won’t deny that but there doesn’t seem to be a lot of sources to help verify this information. What I will urge you to do is go to this website, click on the first option and request a recount of all votes.
We need to stay calm and not let fear mongering get the best of us. The FBI is already investigating Russian interference and fear mongering is a supremely good tactic that Russia is known to use. I know Trump has reportedly worked with Russia a lot, so he may be involved in this. But do not point fingers yet, please for the love of God err on the side of caution, request a recount, and tell your friends and family to request a recount as well.
AND JESUS CHRIST PLEASE LOOK UP YOUR OWN INFORMATION. Don’t trust random Twitter posts or Tumblr posts for the love of God. Go to news websites, look at the FBIs briefing on the subject. Before you trust what any one says I want you to ask yourself “what motive could this person have for telling me this?” “How does this information make me feel?” “How is this information trying to make me feel?” Always analyze and question the motivation of anyone giving you advice.
this single post is more useful to me then four years of art school
We did it in color study class on my college and it’s incredible the difference between using red/blue/yellow than cyan/magenta/yellow.
The purple was colored like shit, so as the greens. Than we tried the actuall primary colors and it FELT SO GOOD!
I JUST TESTED IT IN MY ART PROGRAM AND HOLY SHIT
IT WORKED REALLY WELL
On the left we have dissapoinment; on the right, love.
Then why do they teach us that RBY are primary colours in Pre-KG????
To mess with our heads….
Or because they think that cyan and magenta are too difficult for kids to learn? Lame either way
Reshare to save lives
Okay, no. No no no no no no no no NO.
Listen up you fucks because I’m not wasting thousands of dollars on an art degree to watch y’all fuck up basic color theory.
Red, yellow, and blue are the primary colors
If you’re using p i g m e n t.
Do you hear me? When you’re using traditional media, fucking actual goddamn paint, Bob Ross style, your primary colors are!
When you use paint, your primary colors are red yellow and blue and don’t forget it.
NOW THAT CHANGES COMPLETELY WHEN YOU GO FUCKING DIGITAL.
THE DIGITAL PRIMARY COLORS ARE RED BLUE AND GREEN IF AND ONLY IF YOUR WORK IS GOING TO STAY DIGITAL, ON THE SCREEN, AND NEVER LEAVE THE SCREEN, AND OF COURSE IF YOUR WORK IS GOING TO BE PRINTED. ON A PRINTER. WITH INK. THEN. AND O N L Y T H E N.
ARE YOUR PRIMARY COLORS.
CYAN.
MAGENTA.
AND YELLOW.
So say it with me folks!
Red yellow and blue, are the primary colors for traditional pigment that’s mostly used in paints and shit. You use red yellow and blue when you’re painting traditionally, Bob Ross style.
Red blue and green is light, which is what you’re painting with when you pick up your tablet and go digital.
CMYK is ink, and ink only. You could use cyan, magenta, and yellow as your primary colors in paint if you wanted to be a complete dick, but they’re not your primary colors unless your work is going to be printed using. i n k. The only time they could be considered the primary colors in a traditional medium is if you’re using ink.
Good day.
Also thatswhiskytoyou’s color mixing is bullshit because THIS:
Is my icon. I painted this using RED. GREEN. AND BLUE. AS MY PRIMARY COLORS and they turned out fine. Of course, I used the finger smudge tool first and then the color mixing tool and then the blur tool, but hey what do I know.
Clearly using the blur tool only doesn’t cut it.
“Oh but Leo!” You say. “You used cyan and magenta in that color wheel!”
Well bitch guess what.
this is the digital color wheel. I’d say I mimicked that pretty well, don’t you think?
Oh and one other thing, notice how Blue and Yellow are directly opposite each other on this color wheel? That’s because we’re dealing with light, and with light, yellow and blue are complimentary colors.
Which is why when you mix them, it looks like this:
Which is a pretty neutral gray tone: They cancel each other out on the rgb color wheel when you mix them together.
BUT WITH PIGMENT THE PLACEMENT IS DIFFERENT
If you’ll notice, yellow and violet are now opposite each other, meaning they’re complimentary colors and if you mix them, they’ll make a neutral gray.
But if you mix yellow and blue, same colors as before, YOU GET THIS:
Now keep in mind that the person in the video uses a darker blue, so they get a darker green, but the point is that it doesn’t make that neutral gray.
Now what happens when we mix yellow and violet paint?
Ah yes, you get a bunch of muted colors the more evenly you mix them.
What happens when you mix yellow light and purple light?
I see, I see.
OH AND ONE MORE THING.
They didn’t teach you about red blue green and cmyk in pre-k because when most of us were in pre-k digital art was still in its early stages and what fucking seven year old knows how to use a printer.
GUESS WHO’S NOT FUCKING DONE YET:
The reason the primary colors for light are so dramatically different from the primary colors for paint and ink is because your eye only receives combinations of red light, blue light, and green light. Our eyes do not have a sensor (cone cell) for yellow light. So when we paint with light, red green and blue are our primary colors. Because of our eyes.
Furthermore, paint primary colors are colors that cannot be created by mixing other colors together. For paint, they are red yellow and blue, because you cannot mix orange and green to get yellow. Mixing orange and purple paint does not make red. And mixing green and purple paint does not make blue.
Mixing blue and green paints will make cyan. Mixing red and blue paints will make magenta.
That’s why cyan and magenta aren’t primary paint colors.
However, you can’t mix yellow and blue ink and get cyan. You can’t mix red and blue ink to get magenta.
And that’s why cyan and magenta are the primary ink colors.
Brighter and stronger paints are created through tints and shades, through a thorough understanding of color theory and a few quality paint recipes. Not by bullshit posts on tumblr designed to mislead you.
Litt my face as a traditional artist when digital artists try to tell me that I don’t know shit about colour theory because of the primaries I use… No buddy, it’s not me. It you.
so many twists and turns
I’m tryna imagine my friend’s reaction to this post (she didn’t know that primary colours were a thing until I told her)
posted a month ago on my Patreon, original text by @pigswithwings can be found here 💗 I started this one last December and then couldn’t touch it for many months until finally it just kind of happened. it means a lot to me to this day 💗
✅ you are welcome to: crop the images for banners/pfps (with credit); create voice overs w/o AI
❌ you may not: repost to other platforms w/o permission; create voice overs with AI; create NFTs
IM GONNA DDIEEEEEEE. okay this is fucking awesome the beginning is exactly how i imagined it. when i started writing my long ass post thread it fully imagined theseus/the hero as like. just some kid and you got that energy PERFECTLY from them kicking rocks around to the little expressions this is so fucking cool. oh my god. THE CUTAWAYS TOO !!! YES ! THE JUXTAPOSITION OF EMOTION IS EXACTLY ON POINT. ohh my god the paneling. the paneling. theseus/the hero getting scared by the minotaur is so correct. the THREAD LEADING TO LIGHT!!! the way you broke up some of my words for better effect such as “like. like.” and “or send someone else in” YES!!! i am pumping my fist in the air so hard. THIS IS GORGEOUS!! thank you so much
They’re so cute, I love them a lot. Leshy was making a weapon to try and kill Lamb, but the cat thought that it was a tool to draw (like, you know, lit it up a little bit, making a coal on the tip, and then you draw on walls).
whenever i see a noir detective in the rain i’m like yeah man… that’s exactly where you’re supposed to be
Noir detectives are actually meant to be stressed, it’s their natural state. A Noir detective with nothing to be stressed about, will quickly revert to a more highly stressed state than normal.
Noir detectives require stress to be healthy, that’s why it’s a good idea to make sure that an Inside Detective has access to regular difficult and alarming cases to solve and also a shower they can stand in (fully clothed or not) to agonize, since they can’t go out in the rain. Don’t be alarmed if they bang their little fists on the tile and howl, that’s a normal part of the display. If they sit on the floor and cry, though, they may be overstimulated and need some hard alcohol and a nap to help them settle down.
It can be difficult, but if you have a friend with a Femme Fatale, arranging a (supervised) playdate can be enriching to both of them.
it’s important to allow your Noir Detective to bundle your Femme Fatale into an airplane at night at least once a year, as it provides them both with a rare excuse to let themselves openly cry for emotional catharsis and clear out vestigial tear ducts, which are dangerous to clean at home. in particularly difficult cases where neither has cried for years, artificial rain may be required to provide some cover (and will also provide a humidity boost, an underlooked but important part of trenchcoat health). Be sure to provide your Noir Detective with additional replacement trenchcoats after airplane enrichment, as the Femme Fatale will probably steal his to line her nest.
Reading Moby Dick and the whole opening is wild. “I’m Ishmael. Sometimes being a person makes me want to scream, so whenever I feel I can’t hold it in anymore I run to the nearest shipyard and sign up for some hard manual labour on a random ass boat where nobody cares who I am. After a few months I’ll settle down and get back to business. Everyone does this sometimes, it’s probably normal. Anyhow, I’m at the pier.”
I’m gonna do this differently, for me, and by memory, because my favorite bits are missing.
“Hey, my birth name doesn’t matter call me Ish. So a while back (and don’t pry about when thanks) I realized I needed to get away for a bit. You have to do this sometimes, and I do. The bullshit involved in everything puts me in a mood, and I find my fingers idly going through the motions necessary to tie a hempen half-windsor, or twitching at a steering wheel and tempting me to swerve into oncoming traffic. When musing threatens to turn to maiming or murder I channel it into movement, and spend a month or many riding rails or sleeping on busses and getting far away from everything. This keeps the house of cards from toppling. So anyway, yeah, I ended up doing warehouse work near Tulsa.”
I am begging you on my knees to rewrite the classics
guess i’ll put this here too, even though its past the day in my timezone lol
This is exactly why you dont gatekeep, period. This is why you dont force a person to admit they’re gay to enter a gay bar. This is why respectability politics are pointless. This is why you let others be and dont force your expectations and assumptions on others.
was Mulan’s tactical masterstroke on the mountain actually a strategic miscalculation? she fires the cannon and deliberately misses Shan-Yu in order to trigger an avalanche that wipes out his army, but he actually survives the disaster along with enough soldiers to mount a covert attack on the imperial city that almost succeeded in decapitating the emperor and hence the empire.
and that’s just it: why defeat the army if you can just defeat the leader? if Mulan had taken out Shan-Yu with the rocket, the Hun/Mongol/Xiongnu army still presented a formidable threat, but leaderless they would likely not have proceeded to attack the capital, and might have even collapsed into infighting or retreated to their home territory to elect a new leader.
Is Shan-Yu’s army an army that belongs to Shan-Yu, which is bound together and led by him, or is it an army that he happens to be in command of and which has an established chain of command with fallbacks and a coherent strategy? A mob led by a charismatic leader may lose cohesion and splash against the rocks of the imperial moat, but a well-trained army, having lost its head, will grow a new head to overcome the imperial strategy.
difficult to say as the story never clearly establishes the time period or the nature of Shan-Yu’s rule. I was thinking of the tension following the death of Genghis Khan and more significantly his son:
The empire began to split due to wars over succession, as the grandchildren of Genghis Khan disputed whether the royal line should follow from his son and initial heir Ögedei or from one of his other sons, such as Tolui, Chagatai, or Jochi. The Toluids prevailed after a bloody purge of Ögedeid and Chagataid factions, but disputes continued among the descendants of Tolui. A key reason for the split was the dispute over whether the Mongol Empire would become a sedentary, cosmopolitan empire, or would stay true to the Mongol nomadic and steppe-based lifestyle. After Möngke Khan died (1259), rival kurultai councils simultaneously elected different successors, the brothers Ariq Böke and Kublai Khan, who fought each other in the Toluid Civil War (1260–1264) and also dealt with challenges from the descendants of other sons of Genghis. Kublai successfully took power, but civil war ensued as he sought unsuccessfully to regain control of the Chagatayid and Ögedeid families.
what the fuck are you even talking about
well it’s a nerd thing innit, to take a flimsy premise and discuss it with unnecessary seriousness as if it was an important event in the real world and not merely fiction written for maximum drama; much like the cliched question of whether the Millennium Falcon from Star Wars could defeat/escape the Enterprise from Star Trek, it’s less about the actual issue under debate and more about giving people an opportunity to pontificate and grandstand and demonstrate their command of the subject matter and the ability to drag in seemingly unrelated facts from other fields in a form of friendly yet competitive nerd peacocking japery.
i don’t know. i’m barely a person. i just want to be kind and hold someone’s hand. eat an ice cream cone. stare at the lake. feel the sun on my skin. lay in the grass. run through a sprinkler. it’s so easy to forget life is supposed to feel like a deep breath and not a gasp
ok last thing. but what people fundamentally need to get through their heads is the significance of gaza fundraisers not being the same as like mutual aid when you’re helping someone get groceries, because it is a genocide. there is insane deliberate scarcity and prices are unmanageable, because there is nowhere nearly enough for everyone, so only people who can pay can eat. and what positioning individual fundraisers as the only course of action does is quite simply give a tiny percentage of random people whose fundraisers take off the ability to pay those prices while thousands of others can’t. and every one of those thousands of people without a fundraiser is suffering through the same inconceivably horrific reality. it is giving a few completely desperate people out of hundreds of thousands a slightly more favorable position in a horrific war economy of imposed scarcity. and what grassroots community kitchens do is try to mitigate in some small way that inconceivable hierarchy of who can pay and who can’t, by stretching ingredients as far as they can last to cook meals at large scale and give them out at no cost. and obviously people are still going to send money to their friends and families because this is hell what else are we supposed to do but please just think about that before promoting endless individual fundraisers as somehow the most ethical way to help
Operation Olive Branch has a spreadsheet dedicated to mutual aid, local distro, community kitchens, etc. in Gaza.
This is a good place to start if seeking to donate to a community resilience action. Just contact the group(s) directly to make sure they are still active. Life in Gaza and Palestine is full of uncertainty.
I say it more like mell-burn. Is that how it’s supposed to be pronounced?
just a minute ago this reblog read “i do say it like that” so whats the truth there you little trickster. did someone just learn how to google cause if so im proud of you
Sorry lol I had to say it out loud a few times lol. I was like “ah yeah I do say “mell-born” then I’m like “wait a minute, no I don’t”
sorry i was just being a cunt and yet youve responded in such a legitimate and good faith way that i cant help but respect it . anyway yeah americans say melbourne as in “jesus christ its jason mel-bourne” when really australians do not really put much emphasis on that second half of the word it really is more like “MEL-bn” . like people argue is it like melbun or melbin or melburn but like really in the average everyday conversation there arent even any vowels there just melbn
nobody understands what you are saying !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am watching a mouse make a series of what I can only describe as Fuck Around Choices, and the Find Out is VERY excited to continue this little experiment.
I’m watching my parent’s dog Arwen up at their house.
Arwen (Kelpie, 60lbs) is 15(ish?) now and while she has a high prey drive and history of successful hunts, she’s also 15 and doesn’t give many fucks. I also have my dogs. Charleston (Sighthound/pointer mix, 50lbs) is 10 and another proactive carnivore, but he’s also JUST finished making his Perfect Couch Nest and doesn’t want to get up.
…Herschel (Corgi, 40lbs and extremely tube-shaped) is 5 and has no Prey Drive, but he does have a PLAY Drive, which i found out last time I was up here and found him, having cornered a baby bunny, play-bowing and shaking his ass at it because he just had a Great Time chasing it, now it was the bunny’s turn to chase HIM! Even though all three of these assholes spent all day dragging me hither and yon through the rockies, he still has the endurance of an athenian messenger and still looking for a reason to careen around the house at Mach Fuck.
The reason I am allowing this to happen is that The Mouse is unlikely to come to any harm beyond some environmentally-adaptive trauma, and I am Hoping it hauls ass back to the compost bin where most of them live and tells the colony that there’s a very large fucked up little man in the house, fuck that shit, let’s stay out here.
I don’t know if Psyops work on mice but I feel like it’s worth a shot.
After a few minutes of waiting for the mouse to come out, Herschel was getting concerned (bored) and stood up all the way, little paw raised, ready to smack the fun back into this poor creature.
“Ah!” I told him.
As much crime Herschel commits, he’s actually quite biddable, and stopped, little paw raised, staring at me before slowly lowering it.
“Good job!” I tell him, and he wiggles with joy. “Figure it out!”
Herschel returns his attention to the wobble, circling and sniffing it with small boofs of excitement, looking bac at me for approval eery so often, before giving the bottom of Wobble the smallest, gentlest push with his nose, which doesn’t make it rock, but does scoot it along the carpet.
“Okay!” I tell him, and for the last few minutes he has been slowly scooting the mouse inside the wobble across the living room floor an inch at a time.
This has, however, made charlie actually sit up and watch, so I may need to intervene soon.
Arwen is still snore-farting.
Ok so I may have a broken ankle but not because of this, updates when I get back from the urgent care.
FUNNY STORY-
I mean my whole life is a funny story but in this particular case, it’s funny because while I do not have a broken ankle, I do have a pretty severe sprain, and a new appreciation for the horrors of Wordle.
I’ll get there.
Anyway, when we last left off, Herschel was doing the Canine equivalent of Playing Cars with the wobble, scooting it around the living room with his nose, which was enough to wake up both Charlie and Arwen, who were squinting at him with matching expressions of “What is the Ginger Idiot up to now?”
So I had to go back and get the Wobble so Herschel could have breakfast, and while poking around in the grass, my sister texted me.
Sister: So I saw the mouse story???
Me: oh god don’t tell mom.
Sister: oh no, they’d worry too much.
Sister: ok but if I tell you something you can’t tell them, okay?
Me: now what
Sister: were you up at North Shields Pond? The one with the turtle sign?
Me: yeah?
Sister: okay that’s just spooky.
Sister: so you know that huge dent in the back of Beyond? (my car, formerly her car)
Me: Yes, it’s how I find it in parking lots?
Sister: never tell mom but I didn’t back into a Ballard.
Me: oh my God.
Sister: I think it was like 2019, but Arwen had cornered a mouse that climbed into her old puzzle ball so I took it out to the meadow there to release it, and it was suuuuper late at night so I didn’t see the moose either…
Me: what the fuck
Sister: I mean I didn’t eat shit and fuck up my ankle but that thing hit the car harder than that time I got hit by that pickup.
Me: what the fuck kind of Bethesda-ass glitchy specific trigger videogame cutscene bullshit is this?
Sister: I DON’T KNOW???? MAYBE THE MICE ALL HAVE A TELEPATHIC LINK TO THAT MOOSE SPECIFICALLY??
ALT
ALT
