the way men think eating meat feeds into their masculinity is so fucking funny like miss thing you didn’t wrestle that shit with your bare hands you took your dumpy ass to costco in your wife’s pt cruiser you might as well be a drag queen at this point
being someone who’s passionate about their interests when you’re a horror fan really is a special layer of hell because every interaction you have with another person where the conversation turns to your hobbies and personal entertainments is a trial where if you show too much unrepentant glee at getting an opportunity to talk about your preferred subject you get to watch them mentally move you onto their list of untrustworthy individuals to avoid in the future in real time
you’ll be like i enjoy horror because it articulates things that i’ve experienced and understood for a long time but never been able to put into words, and tackles ideas and themes normally seen as too taboo to express, and people will hear “i’m a sick fuck who enjoys watching people suffer and die”
I will miss you if they finally realize about you, Tumblr the website and app Twitter account. You shined bright, you magnificent being.
And some of you may not have heard this peak of human culture, but… just after Twitter purchase by Elon Musk got confirmed, a bunch of (serious) journalist put together a Twitter Space (a live audio streaming where any of the attendees can ask to participate) about what was going to happen next, and … @tumblr joined. And… they invited tumblr to speak. I can’t describe how much joy this moment brought me and how fucking proud made me of being part of our little entropy generator here:
Last twitter space
canon Tumblr voice
I DONT KNOW WHAT I EXPECTED BUT MY EXPECTATIOBS WERE BY FUCKING FAR EXCEEDED
update: two new draculas have been added to the novel available only on new read plus. red dracula and blue dracula are functionally the same as normal dracula, but they have a bit more health and drop some badass loot that’s sure to supercharge your favourite characters. dive back into the stokerverse today
professor van helsing’s height has been decreased in a way that should not noticeably impact gameplay
My theory is that ghosts get their energy by sucking the oil out of door hinges. That’s how you know a place is haunted. Because the doors creak, even if you’ve just oiled them. The ghosts suck the oil out.
Yesterday I had been feeling so horribly depressed furious and irritable all day that I saw no possible relief for the bottomless pit of existential agony within me. Then I went into the kitchen, poured all that remained of a one pound box of pasta into a pot (over half, around five servings) cooked it, dumped mozzarella cheese over it, and sitting at my desk ate nearly all of it in the span of 15 minutes, finishing what was left a short half-hour later. I felt almost immediately restored and so sleepy that I dozed off at 9:45 pm before getting up around 10:30 to brush my teeth
I think potentially there is something to be understood from this
New York police officer fires his .38 service revolver at almost point-blank range into a piece of bulletproof glass, with a very brave test subject behind it, 1931.
What experimental value does a whole living guy add to this
Cops don’t shoot their guns if there’s no potential for civilian harm. It’s a motivator.
there were a group of girls from spain in the shop and they were all dressed really nice and i was ringing up the only one who spoke english and said “all of your outfits are so cute :)” and she got all blushy and giggly and said thank you and all the girls were looking at her waiting to know what i said so she translated it and immediately all of their faces turned red and they got all giggly and smiley and she was trying to rapid fire translate all of their different thank yous and comments about their outfits
I like my prose to sound good when you read it out loud which leads to people giving me feedback being like “why did you use this word so many times it’s redundant” like have you tried reading it out loud though it sounds pretty cool
Sometimes I need to hear that I’ve been repeating myself too much but sometimes people seem to want me to just tell them who the murderer is like no why are you reading literary fiction if you just want things in simple sentences I’ll start describing the Paris sewer system in detail just to spite you if you keep doing that
I was so excited to see a copy of this in real life bc it’s something I studied in art history. this is a book that was typeset and printed by hand using wooden blocks but every one of the characters was invented for the sake of the piece and does not correspond to any word in the Chinese language
yes. he invented and hand carved 4000 characters. it is a CRAZY project that resulted in an intentionally unreadable book. I love it
if you grow mushrooms over a toxic waste site, chemical spill, or other polluted growing medium, they will suck up the toxins into their fruiting bodies with such effectiveness that they are being studied for their ability to clean up tainted industrial sites. it’s called mycoremediation.
if you do this with edible mushrooms, they are no longer technically edible, but on the other hand they make a great way to poison your enemies. this is called murder and it’s usually frowned upon, but they won’t see it coming and you get bragging rights afterwards about your ability to kill people with a pizza topping.
Sorry this was not precisely most people’s idea of “nice.” Let me add that you are a glow of comforting absurdity in an ever-more-fucked-up world.
I love everything about mycoremediation, but also
Slightly on the topic of removing toxic waste:
A hairdresser noticed that with oil spills, one of the biggest issues was the impact on wildlife because oil loves clinging to fur and feathers.
They used felting methods to create like a mat of hair & used it on a small scale test & it worked really well, the hair mainly stayed on top of the water like the oil & absorbed it like a sponge while leaving creatures & plants alone.
NASA is now working on large scale uses with the help of donated clippings from hair dressers and pet groomers.
And the hair can then be composted with the help of mushrooms.
im really in a bad place i hope the sun doesnt start setting crazy early at like 4pm. i said i hope the sun doesnt set early at like 4pm that would be bad for me
This rat doesn’t know anything, but it knows that sometimes snacks fall into its cage, and sometimes the floor shocks its feet. It likes the snacks, and it hates the shocks. It will tell you to do things that produce snacks, and it will tell you not to do things that produce shocks.
This little rat is not the only power inside your head, and it might not be the strongest, but it’s there and it has influence.
So pay attention to how you’re treating the little rat.
If every time you learn something new, you say to yourself “ugh, I’m so ignorant for not already knowing this,” you’re shocking the rat. You’re teaching it to be afraid of learning new things, to associate it with embarrassment and self-criticism.
Remember to feed the rat instead. Tell it “now I know, and that is good,” and let it eat its snack in peace.
If every time you take care of yourself and your home, you say to yourself “ugh, I never do this enough, and I’ll never get it right,” you’re shocking the rat. You’re teaching the rat that it was safer when you didn’t try to take care of things.
Feed the rat instead. Praise what you have done, forgive what you haven’t, so the rat can feel safe.
When the rat takes a step in the right direction, even if the step is too small or slow or not in quite the right direction, feed it. Don’t shock it for being imperfect; it’ll only learn not to take any steps at all. Feed it, and let it get bolder, and take bigger steps, and give it bigger rewards for those bigger steps.
Somebody has learned I was keeping the paper towels on top of the fridge and then taught herself to jump on top of my cabinets so my paper towels are no longer safe
imagine if people still took last names from their trade like fisher, smith and fletcher. imagine some guy introducing himself to you as jonathan podcaster
He put them together at the kids table that doesn’t exist I’m fucking crying
its easy to make fun of this (and i think we should) but its also important to note the description of this new department that trump has given
[transcript: “together, these two wonderful americans will pave the way for my administration to dismantle government bureaucracy, slash excess regulations, cut wasteful expenditures, and restructure federal agencies - essential to the ‘save america’ movement,” trump wrote. “i look forward to elon and vivek making changes to the federal bureaucracy with an eye on efficiency and, at the same time, making life better for all americans.”]
to be clear: trump is planning to create a new department whose purpose is literally to deregulate and defund government oversight. this will lead to corporations having greater freedom to fuck over consumers while making more money, and he is putting two billionaires in charge of it.
sure, maybe this is just a ploy to keep them quiet. giving them the illusion of power in exchange for backing him. but lets not forget all the regulations trump cut during his last term
which has directly led to the constant recalls of consumer goods and foodstuffs over the past several years. the recent e coli outbreak at mcdonalds? the boars head listeria recall? these are the products of deregulation. getting rid of laws and standards that protect consumers by making sure money hungry corporations dont cut corners.
the funny name is a smokescreen. keep your eye on these fuckers.
Heartwarming story: Little girl doesn’t have to do anything to fund her dad’s surgery because his expenses are covered by his country’s universal healthcare.
Human determination: Man bikes 18 miles to work every morning because he wants to and not because he can’t afford a car and would be fired if he’s late.
Spirit of Brotherhood: Neighbors host housewarming party for elderly resident who doesn’t need help in paying rent because his pension is more than enough.
Y'all have,,, NO idea how much I want a pizza rn. It is taking all of my willpower to save my money and not order one this instant to celebrate getting stuff done today
late-stage capitalism is i want pizza but congress won’t buy me one
wait I haven’t tried
I’m gonna call my congressman and see
Hmm… Ted Cruz isn’t answering. Still a coward, I see,
I’m gonna ask my governor now and tell him Cruz said it was out of his jurisdiction so he’ll feel all important. dude sued the city and is richer than god he can afford a pizza
HDGJDFHGJ SOMEONE PICKED UP,,, this is how it went:
Me: Hello, I would like to request an audience with Governor Abbott
Secretary: I’m sorry. I can relay a message and have him get back to you in a call or email.
Me: Okay, thanks! Due to some recent changes and current economic disparity in Texas, I’ve calculated that Gov. Abbott makes enough a year to buy over 10,000 pizzas, for example. As a display of his claims to make efforts towards rebuilding the middle class, all I ask is that he buy me one single pizza.
Secretary: *incredulous laugh/scoff noise*
Me: That’s less than 0.0001% of his salary, not even taking his enormous wealth into consideration, and will affect my voting decision next election cycle. My paypal is https://www.paypal.me/quinintheclouds
Secretary: …I’ll let him know.
Secretary: *Hangs up*
None of them bought me a pizza. Guess you could say they crust my dreams :((
pLOT TWIST THE SECRETARY SENT ME $15 FOR MAKING HER LAUGH AND CAUSE SHE HATES WORKING THERE,,, THE SUBJECT LINE SAID POLITICAL PIZZA
I scrolled away but had to come back and reblog.
This is amazing
As a person who freaks out about talking to my own family members, I am in awe of the fact that you actually did this
me too, but consider: I was really hungry
“Hmm… Ted Cruz isn’t answering. Still a coward, I see,” is the most powerful thing I’ve ever read.
I hate that I wasn’t the first person to think of something like this.
werewolf who runs you down in the woods and pins you down and does a whole monologue about how weak and pathetic you humans are and what delicious, succulent prey you make, then lays her head in your lap and politely asks you for scritches with her big wet eyes
Peter Molyneux’s 22cans studio have sold around £40 million of NFTs for their “blockchain business simulator” Legacy,
before it’s been released. The town management game has its own
cryptocurrency, of course, and this weekend they sold NFTs of virtual
land for real money. The hope for crypto land barons is that they would
be able to earn money back from other players through in-game business
partnerships.
Oh hey he still exists
and my god could you imagine a more on brand project for him
The problem with line of thinking is that it assumes that Michael Caine wasn’t trying to be funny. He absolutely was. It’s just that the funniest thing he could have done is to play it straight.
The movie would be less funny if he was being a jokester! He’s playing the straight man for all the Muppets. All of them.
And that’s the funniest thing he could have done. And he could do it because he IS that actor, who could do it for real and it’d be very serious and people would clap and say it’s the best since blah blah blah.
But doing that, being Sir Serious Dramatic Actor in a room full of Muppets? Hilarious.
It’s why Leslie Nielsen was such a great comedy actor. He started as the serious dramatic actor but when he shifted into comedy he kept the “Taking everything seriously” attitude and that’s how he sold his comedy.
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