Not that anybody asked, but I think it’s important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.
It’s a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.
Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.
Let’s say you’re a parent and your kid is having issues.
Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)
Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that’s what shame does!
You can’t guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!
If you want it in a simple phrase:
You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can’t shame them into being a good person.
Fun fact, that was literally what inspired me to make this post!
Not that anybody asked, but I think it’s important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.
It’s a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.
Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.
Let’s say you’re a parent and your kid is having issues.
Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)
Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that’s what shame does!
You can’t guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!
If you want it in a simple phrase:
You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can’t shame them into being a good person.
Fun fact, that was literally what inspired me to make this post!
Okay, you need to make sure you play this game at some point. Maybe not today or anything, because you’ll need about thirty minutes and a serious willingness to understand how it works, but - it’s so worth it. It’s basically an answer to our occasional frustration - why do assholes always come out on top? - and the beautiful thing about it is that not only does it explain how that happens, but also how we can change it.
“In the short run, the game defines the players. But in the long run, it’s us players who define the game.”
This is fascinating if you’re into math or sociology or computer programming or all of the above.
Everyone, everywhere, without exception, should play this thing through.
Don’t check just this - check out all of Nicky Case’s work.
They’re a brilliant creator and I heavily recommend checking out at least one of their projects. Their website can be found here.
Parable of the Polygons - an interactive experiment that shows how tiny individual biases can collectively cause segregation on a massive scale.
To Build a Better Ballot - an interactive experiment that shows the alternatives to the voting systems we currently use and how they can be more representative and democratic, along with their faults.
Coming Out Simulator - a short interactive story/novel about coming out, based off of Case’s own experiences. Not one I’ve played myself but still one I can recommend.
Loopy - a very simple but useful tool to show how systems interact with each other and how things can self-propagate.
We Become What We Behold - “
a game about news cycles, vicious cycles, infinite cycles.“ A short five-minute game about news and media. Warnings for violence, blood, death and stress.
OH MY GOD THIS IS FRICKING AMAIZNG WOW WOW WOW WOW YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YES INTELLECT
My personal pet peeve with Tumblr is how the little embed on Tumblr doesn’t at all indicate if you linked a single image post or multiple images. In either case, it just shows the first image.
I’m always having to send links to people and go “(3 images)” to make sure they click through and see all of them, and not just admire the thumbnail.
Come on guys, I fixed this in databoat: you just overlay some icon for a gallery, or do thumbnails of all the images.
I do the exact same thing
BUT!! I recently discovered something!!
I’ll show you! (I’ll use the latest multi-image post I still have on my clipboard as demonstration)
(This has been tested only in Discord embeds)
(Also, very sometimes it just doesn’t work and still only shows the first one. Idk what’s up with that)
feel like ppl are getting meaner and it’s weird to see
how do you mean
bro forget this post for a second - i opened this app today at 9am and the first post i saw was you reblogging some horny shit about “sliding in and stretching her real good”. 9am on a wednesday. what was that all about?
laptop overheating?? pour water on it to cool it down!
i trusted you
Do not trust people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people
I know you’re not the Dragon Warrior. None of you. I heard how he fell out of the sky on a ball of fire… that he’s a warrior unlike anything the world has ever seen.
It astounds me that you can post something deeply personal and traumatic about almost dying at the hands of a chiropractor and sustaining lifelong damage that negatively impacts your daily life to a debilitating degree, and people will still send irate messages like, “well I can’t afford a doctor so what am I supposed to do? Just not let chiropractors crack my neck?!”
And it’s like worstie, whether you can afford a doctor or not won’t fucking matter if the chiropractor fucks up your entire life because if what happened to me happens to you, you’re fucked and if you want to live you’ll end up paying much much more than what seeing a physical therapist would have cost you in the first place.
My PT is mostly covered by insurance these days. But without it the bill is $300.
The damage the chiropractor has cost me? Well it was 6 grand for the first emergency MRI which my insurance didn’t cover, several grand in doctors appointments to be told I’m fucked for the rest of my life and basically just thousands of dollars a month in rehab that I honestly can’t afford to keep me from killing myself from the pain while plunging myself and my husband into further insurmountable medical debt because he refuses to let me go.
So you tell me. Do you want to eat the cost of that initial physical therapy appointment now so you can learn to properly manage your neck pain without letting someone crack it? Or do you want to wait and end up like me. Because I guarantee you, it’s a waiting game. Chiros only have to fuck up once.
Once is enough.
The ease with which chiropractors have infiltrated medical spaces really illustrates how “the earth is flat” and “vaccines cause autism” became fairly mainstream opinions in America
I wake up, my debt is all paid off, my bank account is full, my relationships with my family are healthy, and I’m able to travel anywhere in the world.
reblog for this ultimate fantasy life to come true
I wake up, my debt is all paid off, my bank account is full, my relationships with my family are healthy, and I’m able to travel anywhere in the world.
reblog for this ultimate fantasy life to come true
Me: there are literal pedos on this site that draw explicit content of children or lollicons that remake their blogs on the rare occasions they DO get taken down which you ignore. Boobs are the least of your issues.
why closed captioning should always be provided on every video:
Deaf People Exist
auditory processing disorder is a Bitch
people with ADHD can find it hard to concentrate on what is being said without the words in front of them
^autistic people for the same reason
autistic people may also find it hard to interpret verbal messages within the context of the video, so it’s useful to have written alternatives to fall back on
do you know how painful it is to be excluded from every joke, every video, every conversation because others just Can’t Be Bothered?
some people live in a conservative household or with family who don’t share the same ideals, and they may not have privacy to view things on their own, so they may need to watch things with the volume extremely low or muted
The thing about bugs bunny is that he lives and dies by his bits. He’s fully capable of killing you if he wanted, but the thing is, not only is he a nice guy, he’s a funny guy. To beat bugs bunny, many people assume that you just have to not fall for the jokes. If he hits you with a pie, you don’t flinch, and eventually you’ll ware him down. The issue is, misery will only last you so long. There’s only so much bits to endure before it becomes funny. And whoever is getting laughed at is losing. Instead, to kill bugs bunny, you have to beat him at his own game. When he throws a pie, don’t try to sidestep or be a sourpuss, that’s playing into his hands. Instead, you comically open your mouth and swallow it whole. This is how you kill a god.
The thing about bugs bunny is that he lives and dies by his bits. He’s fully capable of killing you if he wanted, but the thing is, not only is he a nice guy, he’s a funny guy. To beat bugs bunny, many people assume that you just have to not fall for the jokes. If he hits you with a pie, you don’t flinch, and eventually you’ll ware him down. The issue is, misery will only last you so long. There’s only so much bits to endure before it becomes funny. And whoever is getting laughed at is losing. Instead, to kill bugs bunny, you have to beat him at his own game. When he throws a pie, don’t try to sidestep or be a sourpuss, that’s playing into his hands. Instead, you comically open your mouth and swallow it whole. This is how you kill a god.
The thing is, when museums and cultural institutions or researchers adopt memes in a “How do you do, fellow kids” way, that’s adorable like my grandma when she’s misusing emojis. However when some megacorp does it to sell me evil products or some influencer is trying to get me to buy nonsense skincare mud or cyberpunk looking face masks or weightloss pills, I think that’s evil incarnate and their name goes into the Death Note (very mindful, very demure)
My friends and I used to do this thing where we’d dress up on a theme and go do something totally normal.
We dressed up as pirates and went bowling.
We dressed as vikings and went to the grocery store. The security guard told us we had to move our longship because it was illegally parked.
We dressed as Romans and went to Blockbuster. The staff chanted, “toga! Toga! Toga!” at us.
We dressed up all steampunk and went to the museum. Tourists kept taking our picture.
I used to do historical reenactment when I was at University. I would go to class before session as a Norman knight, and when the session was over me and some of my buddies I did it with would get the bus home in the same kit. Stop at the Tesco’s in full armour for beer and supper and ice cream, then get together at Irish’s place for a LAN party.
It’s enrichment for all involved.
I remember being told I was 900 years late for the battle, and asking the bus driver where the horses were.
I genuinely think the world would be a much better place if more people felt comfortable dressing a bit silly out in public.
this might be an unpopular opinion but sometimesssssss people ruin their own fan experiences by dedicating too much energy to (ultimately harmless) things that bother them pls utilize the mute and filter buttons u will be so much happier
Car Trunk vs Car Boot: A clear win for US English, trunk was already a thing in which you stored items, frequently for transport.
Crisps vs Chips: I gotta admit, the Brits have this one. They’re thin slices of potato that have been made crispy. No chipping of any materials involved.
Car Park vs Parking Lot: Equally matched. What’s a car park? A place to park cars. What’s a parking lot? An otherwise empty lot where you can park.
Elevator vs Lift: Both equally fail to address that the damn thing also goes down.
