one time this nondescript guy came into my dunkin donuts and ordered a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot, and for some reason that peculiar order stuck with me so much that when, seven months later, i saw him in the parking lot walking towards the door, i quickly made a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot. he ordered it and i was already holding it.
i would describe his demeanor that second time as “incredulous”
What the fuck who drinks that
it’s such a perfectly bonkers order because like, most unusual orders are maximalist and sugary but this one just combines the most basic drink with the most incongruous little add-on. it’s the order of a simple, regular man who has something wrong with him
this post always makes me laugh. this guy has the weirdest drink order and he probably never goes to this dunkin’ if it took seven months for the barista to see him again. so think about a coffee shop you go to so little you’re not even sure if you’ve gone there before and you walk in and the barista hands you the drink you were about to order before you even ordered it. he will remember that for the rest of his life
“it’s the order of a simple, regular man who has something wrong with him” gets me every time.
capsaicin tricks your tongue into feeling heat. menthol tricks it into feelign cold. so what would happen if yuo ate them together? would you just die?
wherever this is y'all should just start saying random words like they were slang. Every time they ban some of your made up words, make up a few more. Let them ban ten words at once and come in using ten more the very next day. Really make a game out of driving them nuts
Just walk around saying shit like “That’s so blizzy. I dig the dharma. Get sippy with it, homeswizzle.”
Literally make the slang you want be “insert random word” so that any random word can be the term and you pick it up from context. “Holy shine-button, that flicks bee-butts my grizbaby. Very dealt of you.” Make them ban the entire dictionary.
I hope somebody from there saw this and is doing it. My whole family excels in this kind of rebellion, btw.
I spent one single year in a private high school, and they had a dress code, and the dress code said t-shirts must be a solid color and have a pocket.
Now i didn’t mind solid color t-shirts, but i hated how the shirts with a pocket looked. So after failing to get away with wearing pocketless shirts… I borrowed a sewing machine and made a solid colored t-shirt with a pocket over the belly button like a silly little kangaroo. Facing the principle the next day, i pointed out that the student handbook clearly stated that all t-shirts must have a pocket. I asked him if my shirt had a pocket. I asked him to show me where the rules detailed the location on the shirt that a pocket must be. It was a private school so they simply suspended me for a day (which went on my record) and when i got back the student handbooks had all been reprinted with a sentence added to it specifying that t-shirts must have a breast pocket on the left side of the chest. Being the cause of a whole new student handbook edition gained me a small amount of notoriety, but i was so low on the social totem pole at that school that it didn’t do much for me.
The next Monday, i showed up with a t-shirt entirely covered in pockets, front and back. In the principle’s office again, I asked him if my shirt had a pocket on the left side of the chest. I asked him to show me where the rules said there must only be one pocket. I was suspended for a day and the next day there was ANOTHER student handbook reprint, and the school threatened to bill my parents the cost of reprinting all the student handbooks if they didn’t get me in line. My parents basically laughed at them but asked me to not make them have to fight my school as they were already short on time and money. So i gave up on that and began amusing myself finding neck ties that met the letter of the dress code but pissed off the administration.
I could tell you a couple more things i’ve done, but i’d rather tell you what my brother did.
To promote recreational reading in The Youth, my younger brother’s public high school instituted a 25 minute “free reading period” in the day. Every student had to spend that time reading. You could read anything, you could even read a magazine, but you had to be reading.
My brother thought the whole thing was a stupid way for the school to spend their time, and especially stupid to be applied to him. Our whole family reads excessively – when i was in high school i was reading, on average, one entire book every day. My brother was more well adjusted than i, so i’d guess he was only reading 3 or four books a week, tho, while i was reading a lot of fiction with a little philosophy and history, he was reading a lot of, like, theoretical physics.
ANYway, he was like, this is stupid for many reasons, i’m going to sit quietly and use this time to catch up on some of my homework. But the teacher he had during that time period didn’t like that and made a big deal out of insisting he actually spend the time reading. He was sent to the principles office, where he explained that he did not need extra reading time, cited studies that indicated the “free reading” time would accomplish nothing and was a waste of time for both the administration and the student body, and ended with a reminder that what he WANTED to do was sit quietly and do school work, which any school should be happy about.
The principle said he understood my brother’s position, but that he couldn’t make exceptions for a single student. As per the instructions to the whole school, it didn’t matter what he read, it could even be unpublished writing, but he had to be reading. My brother, already veteran gamer both on a computer and around a table, immediately saw an exploit and seized this mistake (gods, my family really can be the worst lmao).
He asked the principle to put in writing the rules as stated AND that he would not make an exception for a single student. The principle, not understanding the kind of people we are, gave it to him in writing. At which point his fate was sealed.
So the next day my brother came in with a packet of paper he had printed at home. When the time came for “free reading” he took out his packet and began reading. When the teacher came over to make sure he was reading, she was enraged to discover he had a packet of about 25 pages completely full of the repeated letter “a”.
“I’m reading it tho” was his response. “This meets the definition of reading” “No it’s just a letter, you can’t be reading it unless it’s words.”
The next day he showed up with pages completely filled with “words words words words.” He was sent to the principles office “See, those are words,” my brother said, “so i must be reading.”
“no that’s not reading, there’s not a single sentence on these pages” The principle must have been stupid, anyone who ever met someone from our family could have seen what would happen the next day, when he showed up with pages full of “These are words in a sentence.” over and over
He was again sent to the principles office. The principle discovered that, like a man with a monkey’s paw, he could not define reading in a way that met the rules as stated but would prevent my brother’s shenanigans. He tried to insist my brother read from a recognized publisher, but my brother pointed out that this was not the rules as given to the rest of the student body, and the principle could not make an exception for a single student. The principle tried to tell him that he was making an exception for him anyway, and my brother told him that unless he was given an exemption from “free reading” time entirely, he would not recognize any rules that violated the written agreement they had. The principle implied my brother would face consequences for this behavior, and my brother implied he would talk to the local paper about being repeatedly harassed for *checked actual notes* following the rules he had been given, all in an effort to prevent my brother from sitting quietly and doing actual schoolwork.
My brother returned to class shortly thereafter with a note from the principle explaining to the teacher that my brother was exempt from “free reading”
anyway, the moral of this story is, when a rule is ridiculous, you can often find a way to make the authority figures look ridiculous for trying to enforce it.
so again, i hope these kids just start using any and all words in a way that sounds like slang. Start using school-related words as slang “what’s up, my exponent? You ready to get absolutely conjugated this weekend? it’s gonna be sooo decimal!” Let them ban THAT. Make them pull their hair out trying to avoid admitting the rule they want to make is “don’t be cooler than we can understand”
Once in college, at 3 AM, I couldnt get my printer to print out my assignment that was due at 9 AM, so I emailed my professor with “i am sleeping beauty and some day my prints will come. In the mean time here is an electronic copy”
And she emailed me back in like 5 minutes telling me she’d laughed so hard she startled her dog awake
i looooove seeing artists & writers proud of their work!!!!! i looooove captions & authors notes that say things like “i’m quite happy with this” “i love how this turned out” “i had so much fun making this”!!!!!! i loooooove when the act of creation is joyful & we take pride in what we make!!!!!!!!!!
if YOU die because I poisoned you…how is that MY fault like I’m sorry you aren’t immune to my poisons I think that’s genuinely something you need to work on. Fix yourself before blaming others.
Had a dream that tumblr came up with a new creature called Greachur and it looked like this
brother of the alot
upon further research:
i had a dream a while ago of a very tall, long-legged creature with a thin, grey fur coat. it didn’t have any horns and it was like double the height of a semi, but this post reminded me of that
Maybe it was. Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe you’re doing the cha cha cha in your head right now. Maybe you’re actually here but we were actually playing something else the whole time. Maybe the living embodiment of the cha cha cha is actually within you right now.
I can’t believe tumblr has failed me and my dash showed me NO fanarts of the sexyman looking DJ from transcendental cha cha cha. do i have to do everything myself around here?
stop talking/whining about how the transcendental cha cha cha dj Would Have Been A Tumblr Sexyman on TUMBLR. bring it to life. do your part. allow him to enter the reality of tags. make an ask blog. i want to see him posing like a sexy badass. seducing the human AND the void dancer guy. on my desk by the end of the fucking day
Ok so a lotta the shit for the transcendental cha cha cha has been about the yaoi potential and I think that’s entirely valid and i love it I also have the feral need for the characters to kiss but ALSO.
THIS.
OH MY GOD.
TOM.
THAT FUCKING NOTE. HELD. NO PAUSING FOR BREATHS. FOR LEGIT LIKE 15 SECONDS.
“how can m/f ships be good-” first of all through the power of bisexuality anything is possible so write that down. second of all if we start othering ships based on gender and nothing else we’re no better than the opposition. third of all you need to watch more addams family
this, this exactly. i am begging people (especially in fandom spaces) that gender doesn’t and shouldn’t define a relationship. believe me i am a big fan of yaoi and yuri — i’ll eat that shit up any day — but just because a relationship is m/f does not mean it’s inherently boring or “bad”
bi people exist, trans people, pansexuals, those on the ace spectrum — just because a relationship is m/f doesn’t mean it’s cis
not only that, but believe it or not there are good cishet relationships! both in reality and fiction (which is the focus here) there are plenty of wholesome and interesting dynamics to work with, it’s just that most mainstream media now just seems to pump out the exact same stories over and over again with these flat cishet characters so that’s all anyone ever sees. m/f is not inherently bad, the narrative is
Everyone say thank you american indigenous people for cultivating corn, potatoes, peppers, tomatoes, cacao, pumpkin, squash, and anything i missed. Makes life more meaningful globally
the lack of knowledge ppl have abt animals is astounding to me. which is what the ungulate poll is teaching me. probably just bc i was always an insane animal kid and knew what a saiga was by age 7 but like what do you MEAN you think a dolphin is a fish HELLO???? is that not common knowledge?????????
what is a fish
i mean if we’re being technical about it they’re not WRONG you know like all mammals are fish if you try to define “fish” taxonomically. like im talking abt ppl not knowing dolphins are mammals but thats besides the point. fish is just a body plan, really, generally accepted as fully or semi aquatic animals with gills, digitless limbs, and a spinal cord. there’s two extant infraphyla of what we would consider “fish” which just so happens to also encompass every vertebrate as well. gnathostomata includes the class chondrichthyes (cartiliginous fish such as sharks and rays) and superclass osteichthyes (bony fish, which is the majority of extant fish, and every tetrapod, which means every mammal, bird, reptile, and amphibian). so like there’s no way to classify “fish” without 1. leaving out huge chunks of what we would consider fish or 2. including every tetrapod ever as well. so like yeah “fish” is just a body plan pretty much bc there’s absolutely no way to classify them taxonomically
ok but like. what IS a fish
all fish fall under infraphyla agnatha (jawless fish like lampreys) or gnathostomata (jawed fish). there’s a lot more than fish in those groups but all animals considered fish fall into these two infraphyla
one of the more upsetting things you notice if you look back at older european weapons is that nobody fucking named any of the types of flail so you’ve gotta describe them by appearance every single time
me: this is so clearly a distinctive and recurring type of flail that would have to be used in an entirely different way than a normal flail. people fought with and against this hundreds of times. people died to this. they had to have a name for this. it CANNOT just be called a flail again
ALT
