I don’t care about Dungeon Meshi otherwise but “Tallmen” is SUCH an elegant solution to placing humans in a fantasy setting that it’s still blowing my mind. Just the term itself is enough to instantly recontextualize humans. They’re no longer the default race. They’re those big goobers with long legs, striding about all the time. I can so easily envision much more interesting relationships between humans and non-humans because of it. Like perhaps “tallmen” are stereotyped as shepherds by other races because they can watch over their flocks better, or as vagabonds because they are better suited to long travel on foot. And of course, they don’t *literally* have to be taller than everybody else, they were just the tallest around whenever the label became the norm, or something like that. I just feel like it’s so much better than what I’ve seen in settings like D&D that go “and humans are the… adaptable, generalist people :)!”
[Image ID: Tumblr tags reading: #for my own worldbuilding projects I always love associating humans with fire #I kind of hate the generic mcBlandRace thing humans always got going on while elves are nature incarnate and dwarves are stone and metal #I conceptualize it thus. a race’s elemental affinity is tied to the first friend of that race #dwarves mad their homes and hid from predators in stone caverns and mines #elves lived in harmony and attunement with nature and the forests #and were affected by their element dwarves are craggy and tough like stone and age like rocks. #elves age like the trees and take it slow #but like humans? we are the beings of fire. it was not the caves that protected us nor the trees of the forest #fire was our first friend. in the primordial darkness it burned and cast away the shadows and frightened beasts of the night #we use it to cook our every meal and need it in a way that influences every aspect of our culture #as civilization began it was used to forge our tools and weapons. it heated our homes. the energy we take for granted was all fire #even today electricity is still predominantly made by fire #and we are as fire. swift-lived but terrible. a hungering devouring forces which seeks to consume all the resources around it to expand #a human will never have the longevity of an elf or a dwarf. but the flame burns bright #much like the shifting lights and shadows of a bonfire the empires of mankind rise and fall with a terrible dramatic swiftness #compared to the relative placidity of elves and dwarves /end ID]
God you’re so fucking stupid I’m flying to the midwest as we speak to kiss you
Wait, but no, seriously. Is that not the implication? Do they just use the pointy teeth to open a wound, and then lick at the blood that comes out like some kind of dumbass psychotic cat?
I always assumed it was something along the lines of snake fangs, where there were channels in the teeth like little straws to enable the suckage.
ultimately it depends on the vampire fiction, but yeah normally they poke holes and then use their mouths to suck the blood out.
That just sounds… Unsanitary. What if the person’s got a sweaty-ass neck? Vampires don’t want to be sucking on nasty neck-sweat.
but the blood is fine?
Wait - you expect a vampire to drain someone dry just from sort of…what…pressing their lips to an open wound? Are they sucking at it like a baby sucking its thumb? Do people genuinely interpret vampires as just kind of standing there, suckling at some maiden’s neck while relying on her own rapidly falling blood pressure to get it enough food??? Obviously a vampire’s teeth have holes in them, like snake fangs, and obviously they’re used to actively pump blood into the vampire. Duh.
Ok, but now… Do they habe double channels? Cause most vampires give their victim an ecstasy fugue state thingy. So they have to have some kind of venom.
That, I assume, would be salivary. The vampire would make the incision, and saliva would flow into the wound, delivering an assortment of intoxicants and relaxants and - depending on the interpretation of the vampire - an anaesthetic, so that the process is darkly fascinating instead of just agonizingly painful. Then the vampire begins to inflate its stomach, physically drawing blood down into it. There’s a lot more blood in a human body than there is room in a humanoid stomach, so the vampire will have to either bloat itself like a tick or leave the person dizzy and half-drained to drink from again another day - depending on which works better for the current story.
I have no idea how feasible it is biologically, but given that most depictions of vampire feeding has them stay latched on, teeth still in the wound, until done feeding, and then only leave the two pinprick wounds behind, I was also assuming there was some suction going on through the teeth, because otherwise wouldn’t the teeth plug the tiny wounds and prevent much blood from coming out? So yeah. I was picturing hollow fangs with some manner of suction behind them as well. If not, I’d expect the wounds to be significantly bigger and messier. Like full rip-the-throat-out sort of wounds. Otherwise how are they going to get the volume-at-speed?
The ecstasy thing I always assumed was a hypnotic effect, not a narcotic one. I’m fairly sure that’s explicit in at least several version of the mythology. But everyone does their vampires differently these days, so it probably depends on the version.
The straw fangs were the assumption when I was a kid, then the “cooler and edgier” vampires started doing that thing around the late 90s where they’re just guzzling blood from a wound, and I think it was mainly just to make vampire movies messier and gorier; so you could show them snarl at the camera with faces all covered in red, instead of a stealthy dual mosquito bite.
Most parasites don’t want to be noticed and cause as little damage as possible.
y'know how some spiders liquify the insides, to suck em out
I truly believe that if you give my handmade mandalas a chance, you will find uses for it that you probably didn’t know existed. (Use code TUMBLR at checkout) I had one customer share with me how she brought one of these to an in-person therapy session and it helped her tremendously with focusing her thoughts, while discreetly stimming. The therapist counsellor appreciated how quiet it was, and pointed out that the different “hand movements” required to flow through each of its shapes actually engages the brain more effectively than a fidget spinner, or keycap fidget toy which involves one singular movement.
Thank you in advance for checking out my handmade classic wire mandalas. These were my favourite toys back in the 90s, and I was obsessed with them!
Let me know how you might see yourself using this if it were in your hands right now! I’m curious to know. :)
I truly believe that if you give my handmade mandalas a chance, you will find uses for it that you probably didn’t know existed. (Use code TUMBLR at checkout) I had one customer share with me how she brought one of these to an in-person therapy session and it helped her tremendously with focusing her thoughts, while discreetly stimming. The therapist counsellor appreciated how quiet it was, and pointed out that the different “hand movements” required to flow through each of its shapes actually engages the brain more effectively than a fidget spinner, or keycap fidget toy which involves one singular movement.
Thank you in advance for checking out my handmade classic wire mandalas. These were my favourite toys back in the 90s, and I was obsessed with them!
Let me know how you might see yourself using this if it were in your hands right now! I’m curious to know. :)
toddler started playing a game a while ago where he points at dad and says “you’re [toddler]. I’m Dada” and then they roleplay being each other. I gotta say. the schadenfreude, the absolute satisfaction, when toddler says “eat your hot dog” and dad says “no! I want a lot!!” (imitating what the toddler does when he refuses to eat unless he is given a GIANT PILE of food, which he will eat approximately 5% of) and toddler says “you can have this” (exactly what we say to him in this situation) and dad says “I WANT A LOT!!” and the toddler tries to think of a way to convince him and says “EAT IT!!” with visible frustration. exquisite. incredible
really cannot emphasise enough that “All Men Bad” and “masculinity is inherently violent, dangerous, and evil” are load-bearing pillars of radfeminism and these ideas cannot have a place in any truly progressive queer theorising.
i have genuinely one of the weirdest skills to be able to brag about
i’ve caught five mice with my bare hands so far. like i’ve just frozen and pounced on them arms first like a cat. i dropped several of them immediately after my brain kicked in and realised i don’t enjoy being bitten by mice but twice now i’ve just caught and successfully dispatched them after a prolonged moment of losing my shit while holding a mouse. like i joke privately about my beloved pet cat and family member kremen (rip) raising me better than my parents ever did but dude what the fuck. i just go into Predator Mode and pounce on these fucking mice. what the hell
this makes it funnier that when i was a kid i used to do co-op mouse hunting with our current (now old) cat snowbell. like he’d corner a mouse and i’d corner it too and wait until he moved into a good spot and i’d chase it out and he’d catch it. you guys fucking wish you were on the same level of warrior cats roleplay i was on. there is nothing wrong with me
I really think you should have a self. Selves are great. Selfhood is one of the best kind of hoods there is and you can absolutely wrap yourself up in it. That said, you should have self-awareness to go with your self.
this passes peer review harder than anything has ever passed peer review in the history of peer review
when my littlest brother was a toddler he was apparently under the impression that you could get meat out of an animal without killing it in the same way you could get milk or eggs.
he expressed this as “the farmer milks the cow and then he porks the pig”
he expressed this as
“the farmer milks the cow and
then he porks the pig”
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
you call this place “wall greens” yet its walls… are not green? how very pecuilar…
ah i see now. so “walgreen” was a clan of bandits who conquered various, smaller apothecaries in order to acquire the vast empire they now sit upon. how very cruel, this “america”. you are ruled by warlords and do nothing to usurp them?
every single person who uses “nonbinary” as a stand-in for “people i consider to be women” needs to do some work on themselves, no matter their gender, sexuality, or any other marginalization
Jose and I are going to start a “Non-binary club for people who are not welcome in other non-binary clubs” and we’re going to be nice out of spite.
Yeah this is what happens when masculinity in queer spaces is so demonized that anyone who looks “too masculine” is assumed to be a cis man and therefore automatically dangerous, instead of judging by actions rather than looks. And idk people in the reblogs are acting horrified, but that’s exactly what it’s like on tumblr :/. I have a friend who is very tall and looks androgynous and on the masculine side, and has told me multiple times about how disillusioned they’ve gotten with queer spaces. We’ve actually bonded over discussions of anti-masculinity/anti-transmasculinity because it’s such an issue. There should be some sort of hang-out for people who are considered “too masculine” (and therefore predatory and dangerous) for queer spaces, and we can all have a lovely time.
