JESUS CHRIST CAN’T YOU TELL THEY’RE–oh, oh wait a minute, hold on. Phone’s ringing.
Yeah? What’s up? No, I was just about to tell these guys about the–yeah I know, but I was telling these people that the picture is of–ooh, for dinner? Hmm, maybe. Okay, see you then.
…What was I saying?
Oh, you sweet summer children, they’re–
SHIT FUCK HOLD ON THE CAT’S ON FIRE
Well, see, what they are is – *thunderous noises from construction project nearby*
Your birth certificate is a record you should be able to change and this certainly violates every Texan’s right to self-identification.
I was born in Texas. And I only lived in that state for four months. I tried changing my birth certificate a few years ago and ran into some utterly asinine roadblocks. I had been trying to find a option to resubmit my request. Only for this. Now. Now I can’t change it at all. A state I never lived in now holds my birth certificate hostage. This is horrific.
Oh woah hey there 🐱 I think that was a funny little accident just now. 🐱 You see I was just licking this plate of food left on the counter and you 🐱 pushed my face right out of the way. I think you just did not notice 🐱 my face was there so no worries, I’ll just go back to 🐱 OH you’ve pushed my face away again? Sorry I don’t mean to embarrass 🐱 you but I am in the middle of something here so I will simply just 🐱 You have pushed my face away again?????? 🐱🐱🐱
if we’re pitching our own minecraft movie ideas heres mine:
keep it an isekai, make it animated, the main characters are siblings of different age groups (youngest hasnt played the game because her brother tells her videogames are for boys, middle kid is a bratty 13 year old obsessed with roblox and minecraft and fortnite, oldest kid is teen/college age and thinks minecraft is a lame game for babies)
start with all the obvious minecraft stuff, reacting to floating trees, trying to go in a cave and getting scared off by a creeper, etc. they find their way out onto an online server, play minigames and meet mcyt cameos and players with specific niches. throw in a 2b2t reference, make a mob vote joke, whatever. at some point it turns out that the oldest kid actually does have a history with minecraft and just didnt want to admit it because she grew out of it and theres a bonding moment.
they run into another player who yes fine can be voiced by jack black and hes like. a dude who was also isekai’d into minecraft years ago but lost his way out. he thinks if the kids beat the ender dragon they’ll be allowed back into the real world so they assemble a team and convince them they wanna beat the game because their little sister has never done it before.
yada yada the rest of the movie is just the normal progression of beating minecraft. eventually its whittled down to just the kids and jack blacks character. he sacrifices himself to give the kids a chance, they land the final hit, they wake up in the real world. epilogue is the older two kids introducing their little sister to gaming.
idk i just think you could make a movie thats 80% references to minecraft community jokes and 20% a story about a videogame bridging generations and it’d be fun. its a simple formula.
You do not owe your partner(s) sex. I mostly see this passed around in the asexual community, and it absolutely needs emphasis there, but this applies to anyone of any orientation. You never owe your partner(s) sex under any circumstance.
If your sex drive or libido is lower than your partner’s, you may feel obligated to “keep up” with them to make them happy. But you have a right to say no, or not be in the mood, or be too tired, or just not want to right now. Your partner(s) should respect your right to say no and your bodily autonomy.
If your partner(s) try to harass, manipulate, or coerce you into having sex when you say no, they’re an asshole. Having said yes in the past does not mean you can never say no. It is not your responsibility or obligation to provide sex. You do not need to violate your own boundaries to make someone else happy. Your partner(s) should respect your right to say no, and if they don’t, they don’t deserve you.
Your body belongs to you, and you decide what’s best for your sexual health. Happy Pride
[ID: A tatreez piece in shades of jade green, with orange accents. A central line of Pasha’s tents is surrounded by clove, chicken’s teeth, sword, and heart motifs; a star of Bethlehem fills the top square, and a row of cypress trees is at the bottom. The first photo shows the piece with a large painting and a pair of slippers to show scale; the others are close-ups. End ID]
Tatreez raffle to benefit a Palestinian family
You know the drill! This tatreez piece is stitched in cotton embroidery thread on sage green linen, and is suitable as wall art, or to be repurposed as a cover for a cushion, tote bag, &c. A winner will be randomly selected in October, 2024.
You can get your hands on this piece in one of two ways:
Send me proof of a donation of at least $500 USD (I know, but this took a lot of hours!) and I will stitch another one, or something similar, just for you.
Send proof of a donation of at least $7 USD for a link to the pattern.
This is a physical product and you will need to be willing to give me a shipping address.
Design is 7.5" x 16" (19 x 41cm)
Cotton on linen
Stitched 2 over 2 on 32 count linen evenweave (16 stitches per inch)
When @noor-alanqar shared her fundraiser with me, I wanted to help her Gofundme spread by drawing her three beautiful children. She, her husband, and their three children Rajaa (5 years old), Youssef (10 months old), and Hussein (6 years old) all need to rebuild and stay safe.
Here is Nour’s campaign, she is halfway to her goal, with €20,558 raised of €40,000!!
Rebuilding Live: A Mother’s Plea for Hope and Safety in Gaza🇵🇸🕊️
•Rajaa : My daughter Rajaa is a radiant beam of sunshine, bringing boundless joy, warmth, and love to everyone she meets.
•Youssef : My baby Youssef, whom I clung to throughout the war, running with him through the rubble of shattered homes to escape.
•Hussein : At an age when Hussein should have been enjoying his childhood, all his rights were taken away from him.
I kindly ask for your help for me and my children, as the war has destroyed everything we had, leaving us without the basic necessities of life. We have nothing left but hope in your compassionate hearts.🙏
I would like to express my deepest gratitude to everyone who stood by my side and supported me through this challenging journey. To all who shared my story, offered their support, and showed compassion for my cause, you have been the source of strength from which I drew patience and hope. Your kind hearts and encouraging words were the light that guided me through the darkness. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Between the lines of my story, there lies suffering, patience, and a strength that has shattered against the harsh rocks of life. I write to you with a weary soul searching for hope and compassionate hearts to embrace it. I ask for your support and help in sharing this story, hoping it will reach those who can feel its depth and offer the warmth it desperately needs. In a world full of challenges, I believe that there are still those who carry the light of compassion in their hearts. Through you, my story may find its way to those hearts. Let’s turn this story into a message that reaches those who may be in dire need of it.
Colorful Dreams Amid Destruction:The Children of Gaza and Their Stories of Life 🇵🇸🕊️♥️🍉🌷
Children of Gaza, despite the pain and siege, plant seeds of hope in every corner. They paint colorful dreams on the walls of destruction and weave stories of life from the ruins of war. In their eyes, there is an undying sparkle, and in their hearts, a pulse that never ceases, for they understand that life is worth living, and that every child has the right to dream, laugh, and play, even in the harshest of circumstances.
Pictures like this are so important! I wish I would have seen more of this when I was younger. I’d have been more receptive to my body’s need for mobility aids if I had seen it in a positive light like this.
WHY SRIRACHA WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND AND NOW TASTES BAD
If you like hot sauces and the like you probably have been a big fan of sriracha… specifically the sriracha made by Huy Fong Foods. But, you may have noticed that since 2020 there have been noticeable times where it was sold out for months and months. Even worse - now that it is back on shelves it tastes like crap.
I did some digging.
All of the peppers for Huy Fong Foods Sriracha were grown on Underwood Ranches in Ventura County, CA. Family-owned farm (since the 1800s) that grew along with Huy Fong Foods. Starting at 400 acres and growing to almost 4000 to support the popularity of sriracha. This was when it tasted good. In the late 20-teens Huy Fong decided to demand money back from the farm for… no one really fully understands why. They then severed the contract leaving Underwood with 4000 acres of hot peppers and no one to buy them.
Meanwhile Huy Fong approached a number of other farms scattered across southern California and had them quickly spin up pepper concerns. This put a massive dip in their supply and they lost a year of sauce-making basically. Then bad weather knocked out a lot of these farms and they lost another season or two. Also the quality and flavor across multiple farms was inconsistent.
Meanwhile Underwood sued Huy Fong, won, received 23 million dollars, hired back their workers, and got back to growing. Additionally they were able to mitigate a lot of the weather issues the last few years through better technique and had bumper crops.
So they made their own sauce - Underwood Dragon Sriracha…
and lord strike me down if it doesn’t taste much more like the older sriracha than whatever Huy Fong Foods is making now. Anyways, they don’t seem to sell to stores but you can buy directly from their website. I did and I’ve been putting it on everything.
I wasn’t paid to write this… I just like doing exhaustive research about things I enjoy.
(EDIT to adjust Underwood Farms to Underwood Ranches, and change location from Ventura to Ventura County)
[ID: lineless, digitally illustrated, brightly coloured comic featuring anthropomorphic animals in domestic settings. The two children, a green dog and an orange dog, peer around the corner of a door frame at their grandfather, a grey dog, who is sitting in a chair. Text reads “We don’t do that around grandpa. A kids book about traumas and triggers. By Athen O.E.” The children are playing with pop caps. Text “Me and Lilly like sparkly things. They go Pop, Pop, Pop, and Crack, Crack, Crack.” The grandfather looks distressed. Text “We like them because they’re Luod [sic, Loud] but Gandpa [sic, Grandpa] doesn’t. It remind him of things made him scared and angry.” The pop caps in the bin. Text “So we don’t do that around grandpa.” Auntie May, a yellow cat with a green dress and a pink awareness ribbon, looks worried. Text “Auntie May is sad. Something scary happened to her. Hearing about uncle Dave makes her even more sad.” The children give Auntie May flowers. In the background is a photo of two cats, Auntie May and a purple cat, both with green clothes and pink ribbons, and a love heart above their heads. Text “So we don’t talk about him around Auntie May.” The children play video games while Jay, a light purple cat, stands nervously to the side. Text “Cousin Jay is quiet. They don’t like to talk to people anymore. We used to play zombie games together. But then cousin Jay saw something scary at school.” The children are playing a tennis video game together, with Jay watching. Text “It made them afraid of things like zombie game. So we don’t play those with them anymore.” The orange dog stands in front of Ruby, a red rabbit. Ruby is crying and has a bandage around her leg. The orange dog is defending her from a vocal regular dog. Text reads “My best friend Ruby is afraid of dogs. She said a big mean one bit her leg. Ruby gets scared and cries when she sees one, the bite hurt a lot.” The orange dog and Ruby are inside, Ruby runs to hug a larger pink rabbit, presumably an adult family member, while the orange dog closes the door. Text “We don’t bring dogs around her anymore.” The four characters, Grandpa, Auntie May, Cousin Jay, and Ruby, having emotional reactions. Text reads “And every time one of them is scared…” A white paw and a grey paw overlapping with colourful emphasis triangles around them. Text “We hold their hand and tell them it’ll be OK. Because that’s what we do around people we care about.” /end ID]
A similar
guide geared towards trans women/ transfeminine people (though not really sexual orientation specific) is “BRAZEN: Trans Women’s Safer Sex Guide.”
note that I’m not a trans woman and haven’t actually read this but I’ve also heard good things about fucking trans women - it’s a zine. link is to an interview about it with autostraddle, which links to where to buy the zine itself
Hey, so I could really really use some help this month. My boyfriend just lost his job and I am disabled. We’re not gonna make rent this month without some sort of help. We really really need help. Our court date is the 21st of September. We need help. I don’t want to lose my home. I don’t want to lose my support animal but I’m not gonna make her live out of a truck. Because that’s the only place we have to go. Please help if you can, a few dollars to a share, anything. Please. We’re desperate.
Remember: The average person is not aware of how many botnets rely on all the crappy unsecured Internet of Things devices that every smart home is filled with
every year around christmas me and my grandma play this fun family game called “maybe you want to put jesus in your room instead, sweetie? :)”. now, it’s important to note that the jesus referred to in our game is not actually the real jesus christ, but instead a wooden figure i made in 2011 that has an uncanny resemblance to the lord and savior himself
so what happens is that i place jesus in our living room, and my grandma smiles and asks me if i don’t want to decorate my room with him instead. i ask her in return if she thinks my jesus figure is ugly (which he is), but she reassures me that this is not the case. however, a couple of days later jesus mysteriously disappears from our living room, and appear in my room instead
now, the real jesus christ might have been able to perform a miracle like this, but please remember that the jesus in our story is only a figure made out of wood. he can not move on his own, so i think we can safely say that my grandma is the prime suspect here
the first year i would often confront my grandma about this, but she would always make up an excuse and never straight up tell me she moved him because he’s so ugly it’s an embarrassment to the family
eventually i grew tired of her lies, so now we only move jesus around in silence. one second he’s in the living room, the next he’s back in my room. in a way i think this adds an extra element of excitement to the holiday season, because you never know for sure when jesus is going to be moved again
and so it begins..
i was not fucking ready for this photograph
I’m NEVER ready for the fucking photograph, holy shit.
Disclaimer: I’m not an official vetter. I personally believe this campaign is legitimate given the evidence and encourage you to share and donate if you feel comfortable.
A girl’s life goes from good to worse in a matter of months. Life is really strange,
In moments, all your conditions go from good to worse than bad. I think that what I regret most is that I did not photograph every corner of my house, I did not photograph every detail in the house, I did not photograph every joy we lived in this house. I was under the illusion that there was no need to photograph it because it would remain and nothing would happen to it. All we imagined was our life in it until death. It never occurred to us for a moment that it might disappear and become a pile of rubble. These are some of the pictures I took in my house and my family’s beautiful house.
This is all that remains of our house, and they are memories, some of which are beautiful and some of which are sad, but they are just memories. After living in this house for 25 years, I grew up and was raised in this house and lived in it every moment of my life. I was happy when I got married and when my family was in the most beautiful pictures of love and friendship, and I was sad when I left my parents’ house for my husband’s house. The house lived in my heart, but unfortunately, in this war, nothing remained of it and they demolished it in an instant and presented my husband’s and my house as if there was nothing here. They erased my house and my parents’ house and all the beautiful memories in it and it became just rubble on the ground. We go to it every now and then because even though it is rubble, I am still attached to it.
Then comes a strange feeling after this. You are in your city (Khan Yunis) and you cannot return to your home. You cannot return to your place because you cannot live inside the rubble. We settled in the summer in a small, exhausting tent that you cannot enter except to sleep. It was not originally ours. Our friends gave us this place to sit in temporarily after they saw that we did not have a place and that we had unfortunately become like homeless people.
We always thank God that there is something surrounding me and my family, even if it is a tent, from a beautiful and spacious house to a small tent that can barely accommodate us. The war did not only destroy our homes and dreams, but it also destroyed our youth. When I look at my old photos on my phone, I cry for myself, my family, my people, and everything we have achieved here.
These are some old photos that I love and that are really me away from the war, the sun, carrying water and living in tents. I put more than one photo because I miss myself before the war and I love these photos very much and I wanted to share them with you. Because of the tent life, most of the time all that surrounds you is the sun and because of the lack of water, I go to a far place to carry water here under the sun, so my face and body become like someone who is 60 years old and not a young woman in her twenties.
I wrote this simple little story about how my family’s life and mine in particular changed between before and after, without details, so who can donate and help me and my family so that we can get back a part of our beautiful life? Trust me, you are in the right place and I will always appreciate it
“Oh you’re alloromantic? But what if you meet someone one day who puts you off romance forever? I think you should put your life on hold just in case that happens.”
“Allosexual? Don’t say that. You just haven’t had bad sex yet.”
One of my favorite thing I’ve learned about animals studies is that you should avoid using colorful leg bands when you’re banding birds because you can accidentally completely skew the data because female birds prefer males with colorful bands
Apparently if you put a red band on a male red wing blackbird his harem size can double
So like you can completely frick up the natural reproduction of a group of birds by giving a guy a bracelet so stylish that females CANNOT resist him
Me, putting a red bracelet on the leg of a male red wing blackbird: ON GOD we gonna get u some pussy bro
I remember reading a study where researchers realized that female birds of a certain species preferred males with a darker breast. So they created what they literally called a “Super-Sexy Male” by catching a male and coloring his chest with a marker. They then ran dna tests on the eggs in the area.
Previously when the researchers had run these tests, they found a certain amount of infidelity was common for these birds. Somewhere around 10% of eggs were fathered by males who were not the primary mates of females.
After the advent of the Super Sexy Male, however, stuff got crazy in bird world. Infidelity skyrocketed, with upwards of 25% of ALL EGGS in the area being fathered by this specific male. Furthermore, his mate’s eggs were 100% his.
This is just insane to me. Just imagine you’re living your bird life when suddenly somebody scribbles on Dave’s chest and the ladies can’t stop throwing themselves at them. It’s stupid that we theoretically can wreck this kind of havoc on an ecosystem.
