okay so i work in the deli of a grocery store, yeah? and today i got this guy who came up with his two twin children, around five years old. he walks up to the counter, carrying one kid in each arm, and loudly goes “oh, no, i forgot what i wanted!” and turns to the boy in his left arm and, in a perfect blues clues style voice, goes “caleb, do you remember what i wanted?” and the boy goes “half pound of yellow cheese!”
i, obviously, say “you’ve got it little sir!” and slice up half a pound of yellow american cheese, handing it to the little boy, who looks it over, nods, and tucks it in his lap.
then the man goes “well, we can’t just have cheese on our sandwiches. but what else can we put on there?” and the little gurl in his other arm goes “half pound of ham!” so i nod and say “yes ma'am! what kind?” and she points at a random cut of turkey, so her father nods and says “like she said, honey ham!” i cut half a pound of honey ham, hand it to the little lady, she looks it over, nods and puts it in her lap.
then the man goes “now, what should we have for the side?” and the kids both simultaneously start cheering “macking cheese!!!” and the man spins on his heel and marches off, presumably to find the macking cheese.
later, the little boy comes wandering back to the counter while his father looks on and loudly and proudly proclaims that he wants to know where the mustard is. i point him to the correct aisle, he nods, says “thank you mister deli woman” and walks away.
I’ll have you know I’m still nursing a 22 year old grudge against Wallace and Gromit for denying the original Courage the Cowardly Dog short the Oscar for Best Animated Short in 1995, thank you very much.
It’s literally my love for stop-motion that keeps me from outright hating W&G.
nah my bones are mine because they’re going in a box with my name on it when I die
my bones are mine because i have bound my soul to them using a forbidden dark ritual. my bones will be more temporary than I, for even after some accursed paladin smites these bones down i will rise again from a tomb well-hidden, and grow new bones.
Yeah well, l doodled on my bones with a pink permanent marker, but they are not mine. So in a couple of centuries a cow is going to be born with horns with spots of pink permanent marker and she won’t be able to get rid of it
sometimes you find a reusable tupperwear in the back of your fridge that. well. you could wash but. goodbye. Remember the real problem is Taylor swift .
sorry to hijack your joke op but if the container is plastic and the food has more than a few little spots - ie, you forgot this container a month ago rather than a few days - you should throw it away anyway as the mold in question could still linger in the tiny scratches and dents in your container. your health is more important than reusing one tupperware. if you find yourself consistently forgetting (hello my beautiful angels with adhd), consider investing in some glass storage containers! they have a non-porous and smooth surface that makes them much easier and safer to clean. I got a bunch of pyrex for Christmas a few years ago and it’s very nice to not have to worry about mold, smells, stains, etc.
Please don’t use the Patreon app on any iPhone. Apple is charging Patreon users an additional 30% fee.
Patreon is the main source of income for many creators and not everyone can afford an extra 30% on top of what they’re already paying.
This is 100% corporate greed and it hurts all of us. If you can avoid using the iPhone Patreon please do so.
Hank Green made a video about this kind of thing! But yes, the TL;DW is subscribe to stuff using a browser if at all possible! Otherwise either you or the creator/company you’re subscribing to is getting screwed over.
Guys the situation in Khan Younis is so scary that I don’t even know how to put it into words anymore. All it takes is looking up the city and seeing headlines like “over 100 of bodies ripped to pieces in Khan Younis!” “An Israeli airstrike decimates a house in Khan Younis belonging to x family!” “Even in the midst of ceasefire talks, Israeli forces continue pushing into Khan Younis” for all-consuming anxiety to seize me for all the families that have yet to evacuate. It’s getting so so bad there & yet so many people are still unable to evacuate.
To any Europeans reading, please consider sharingthis fundraiser with your friends and family.
It’s for @bilal-salah0, a 22 year old Palestinian refugee who, while trying to raise funds for his family in Gaza, is facing the possibility of an imminent deportationfrom Germany. It might happen as early as next week, which is why his fundraiser is so urgent.
I of course encourage everyone who can to share and donate, but I especially think us Europeans, with the current and terrifying uptick in anti-immigration rhetoric and violence, have an extra responsibility of helping Bilal.
To any Europeans reading, please consider sharingthis fundraiser with your friends and family.
It’s for @bilal-salah0, a 22 year old Palestinian refugee who, while trying to raise funds for his family in Gaza, is facing the possibility of an imminent deportationfrom Germany. It might happen as early as next week, which is why his fundraiser is so urgent.
I of course encourage everyone who can to share and donate, but I especially think us Europeans, with the current and terrifying uptick in anti-immigration rhetoric and violence, have an extra responsibility of helping Bilal.
ngl sometimes the way white queer people talk sounds like you guys think you own the monopoly on being othered by society when that is very much not how the world works
I saw a post this week saying that straight people never had to worry about holding their partner’s hand in public and I thought about how interracial relationships were only made legal in 1967 and my own mother was disowned by her father for marrying a black man in ‘92
me: did you know the narrative that school shooters in the US are all bullying victims is false and originates from inaccurate coverage of one of the most infamous school shootings, the columbine shooting? in reality the columbine shooters were reactionaries who isolated themselves deliberately and followed an ideology that positioned them “above” the rest. so, a lot of school shooters are actually ideologically motivated rather than revenge motivated. no one knows this and the media paints these murderers as victims. do you want to know what the columbine effect is? also I have a lot to say about “stranger danger” as a conservative fear campaign to promote the isolated nuclear family
me: did you know the narrative that school shooters in the US are all bullying victims is false and originates from inaccurate coverage of one of the most infamous school shootings, the columbine shooting? in reality the columbine shooters were reactionaries who isolated themselves deliberately and followed an ideology that positioned them “above” the rest. so, a lot of school shooters are actually ideologically motivated rather than revenge motivated. no one knows this and the media paints these murderers as victims. do you want to know what the columbine effect is? also I have a lot to say about “stranger danger” as a conservative fear campaign to promote the isolated nuclear family
me: did you know the narrative that school shooters in the US are all bullying victims is false and originates from inaccurate coverage of one of the most infamous school shootings, the columbine shooting? in reality the columbine shooters were reactionaries who isolated themselves deliberately and followed an ideology that positioned them “above” the rest. so, a lot of school shooters are actually ideologically motivated rather than revenge motivated. no one knows this and the media paints these murderers as victims. do you want to know what the columbine effect is? also I have a lot to say about “stranger danger” as a conservative fear campaign to promote the isolated nuclear family
me: did you know the narrative that school shooters in the US are all bullying victims is false and originates from inaccurate coverage of one of the most infamous school shootings, the columbine shooting? in reality the columbine shooters were reactionaries who isolated themselves deliberately and followed an ideology that positioned them “above” the rest. so, a lot of school shooters are actually ideologically motivated rather than revenge motivated. no one knows this and the media paints these murderers as victims. do you want to know what the columbine effect is? also I have a lot to say about “stranger danger” as a conservative fear campaign to promote the isolated nuclear family
In any tomato based sauce, vodka, or any strong alcohol doesn’t make the dish taste more like alcohol, it releases alcohol soluble elements from the tomato itself, making it taste sweeter, richer and more tomato than even just tomatoes themselves, this adds acidity, which is often tempered by the addition of dairy (usually heavy cream) a la vodka is not a delicate sauce, but any means, it’s made with a full intention of every major ingredient hitting well above it’s weight. And if you want it even better, try using a good botanical gin or a pepper vodka for even more intensity.
When an archer is shooting for fun He has all his skill. If he shoots for a brass buckle He is already nervous. If he shoots for a prize of gold He goes blind Or sees two targets – He is out of his mind.
His skill has not changed, But the prize divides him. He cares He thinks more of winning Than of shooting – And the need to win Drains him of power.
How is bnha anime of the decade…… they aren’t even anime of the hour of the minute of the second
The notes on this post were so toxic that staff just axed em
1969………
Yes, when the original post is deleted from the server (not just the blog, but the Tumblr servers), there is no root post for notes to be added onto, and also no root post for time to be counted from, so it starts from zero. Most computer operating systems use Unix, which was launched in 1971 with the epoch date of midnight on January 1, 1970 as 1. Therefore zero is one second behind that date: December 31, 1969. Also, very unfortunately, this also means nobody except you and anyone you reblog it to will see this explanation, as you cannot open the notes to see comments when there are no notes.
I’m so glad to draw Forneus, I never get to draw characters this big. When playing the og demo, i had to stop the stream to squeal over the chonker kitty.
ALT
