puts up a little lighter in the air, sways back and forth
[Image: A picture of a quote from a newspaper that reads “ No woman and a burka (or a hijab or burkini) has ever done me any harm but I was sacked without explanation by man in suit. Men in suits missold me pensions and endowments costing me thousands of pounds. A man in a suit lead us on a disastrous and illegal war. Men in suits lead the banks and crashes the world economy. Other men in suits increased the misery to millions though austerity. If we are telling people what to wear maybe we should ban suits. Henry Stewart, London. End image.]
im sorry mutual i cant reblog the original but they were right
calling it “military time” gives away that this person is american. 24h time is the norm in europe and asia, and a ton of countries happily mix both. japan even sometimes does this amazing thing where they’ll sometimes *extend past 24h* to indicate when something continues from the previous day, like a broadcast being advertised as finishing at 25:30.
meanwhile, 12AM and 12PM make no bloody sense and are confusing as hell. why aren’t those called 0AM and 0PM instead?
this user cant even discern the difference between 12 in the afternoon and 12 at night lmao
this user can’t count past 12
Americans, just call it 24 hour time. I fucking hate the military and I always read in “military” time because it’s easier.
hello im americans. i decree its called burger time now
no thanks I don’t wanna change what I’ve called this thing my entire life to appease you thanks for the offer tho
im being so serious and genuine when i say everything in this entire thread. my word is law
its true all americans are so serious when they say shit like it should be called burger time
Burger time just rolls off the tongue better like how my hand glides all smooth on a shark in all directions
i love tags like this its so fucking funny. everyone taking me seriously is perfect and should never change
IM LOSING IT YOU GUYS JUST MAKE UP A GUY TO GET MAD AT JAHGJSFHGSF
punkitt, most sincerely, fuck you and fuck your time system. there is no point to it. justs say the goddamn number already.
someone’s getting heated about Burger Time and Hot Dog time
this is my finest work and I didn’t even make the start of it
i told my anarchist roommates at one point about my trans friend visiting china and they were like extremely shocked she wasnt arrested or killed. deeply unserious behavior. dont listen to THE MAN unless the man of course is talking about scary asian countries :((( then believe everything you’re told
Man are they fucking microwaving these porn bots before they let them send messages now?? The fuck is this??
nothing but hits in the notes
oboes are a realistic and attainable goal 👍
Something tells me these are run by AI and something has fried their algorithms. I noticed a week back some of the words were swapped on some of these… now it’s.. hmmm…
Ngl one of my thoughts was that whatever machine learning algorithm is cranking these things out is going through some serious dataset poisoning. Some people are suggesting it’s intentional to stop the usual spam filters from picking them up but if so they have overcorrected bcs these messages are way too fucked for a real person to ever consider clicking on that link. Really makes me think whatever they are training their program on is degrading or something and they just haven’t noticed yet. Tho either way it’s weird and hilarious.
Why does it feel weird and intimate to mention that someone was in even the most innocuous of your dreams? Sorry my subconscious decided to think about you for a second. You were a curator at an ice cream museum that was also my second grade classroom. If you even care.
are you whiny bitches seriously acting like faster and more affordable and more accessible translation is bad? it’s a bad thing? it’s a thing we should be against now? is that seriously where we’ve arrived? can you people think for ten fucking seconds just ONCE?
machine translation is really good for many languages - esp the romance ones - and while its not perfect or anything, like.. i don’t know how to tell you it’s a good thing we’re able to instantly speak to people, 80% accurately, from anywhere in the world
I went through the notes on this post specifically to find this reply - or one like it. Because it has a point, and it’s a decent point for you, the person. But it’s also missing the info of the larger scale problem.
(Or it isn’t; as you rightly point out in the tags, it’s a capitalism problem. But I’ll expand on this point of “capitalism”. I need to rant. I need to scream.)
I’m a professional translator. I work in video games and software, with an occasional dash of literary translation. I’ve worked in translation proper, I’ve worked on editing other people’s work, I’ve led a couple of translator teams. I’ve worked the occasional miracle, working around some Really Dumb Choices the developers made.
(Spoiler alert: other languages have different syntax and grammar, if you give me a list of nouns to translate, and then give me the plural “s” to translate separately, this is not good. Even in English, woman -> womans is dumb.)
I am a fan of making things affordable and accessible. I am really happy that Google Translate and similar things can tell me the gist of what people are saying in conversations I only half care about. As the poster above says, it’s great! Not perfect, but ok!
Do you know what’s not great? Do you know what the OP in the original image means?
The client the original image is talking about isn’t you. It’s not some person on the internet trying to find out what someone said in a Post. The client they’re talking about is, essentially, the corporation: the translation agency, the publishing house, the IT giant.
You, the individual, do not have the power to demand how I do my job. If you come to me and say, “Sarshi, I want you to take this 300-word post, run it through Google Translate, and then charge me half of what you usually do for translating it”, I can take it or leave it.
But I get contacted by agencies - half of them want this. “We have a game, Sarshi! Just post-edit the results of a machine translation!” “We have support articles, Sarshi! We’re paying you a lot less to post-edit the results of machine translation!”
You say it’s ok to have 80% accuracy, and I feel you! Yes, sometimes it is! But companies are like “lol, this works”, too!
It’s happening over and over. And these aren’t… they’re not people, you know? They’re not Auntie May trying to figure out what the dough recipe she got from her niece in Indonesia says. They’re agencies, trying to increase their earnings by promising top quality to companies, then going, “gosh, we said we’d do it for cheap, how can we manage that?”
Or they can even be large companies themselves. Oh, you’ve spent a bajillion trillion dollars trying to create the CryptoNFTVirtualRealityAI hybrid that everybody knew wouldn’t work and now you panic because your earnings are lower than usual? Oh, and you want to “cut costs” by screwing over every contractor you have? Great. Just great.
This is going to screw you over - you, the individual. Not my client, not the translator’s client in general - the company’s client. The corporation is too big to really care about how you feel about their product - the employees individually might, but the company’s only metric is if you buy it or not. And the company makes decisions based on what brings the most money for the least cost.
So your hardware manuals might be crap and you might be in tears because you have no idea how to make your new appliance do the thing. You’ll go on YouTube and you’ll find a solution, and you’ll eventually figure it out. And maybe you’ll forget about the crap manual in time. So next time, they still won’t get a good translator, because they already have a cheaper solution that seems to work.
So your game looks like it was translated by a bunch of rats in a bunker and you can barely understand what anyone’s saying? Well, maybe they got a bottom-feeding agency overpromise that they totally have legit translators working for $1/hour. Pinky swear! Did you buy the game? You did. So… the system worked! They’ll hire the same agency again!
It’s like the clothing industry all over again. We could have better clothes, but it’s cheaper not to. They’re doing us a service by selling us shoes that won’t last a season, and T-shirts that will look like crap after washing them twice - they’re cheap, aren’t they? They’re affordable. Anyone can get clothes. (So you pay more in time are are more frustrated? Who’s counting!)
And meanwhile, it’s easy to forget things might be different. That we have the ability to create good things, pleasant things. That manuals can be easily readable, that games can sound great, that books can be awesome to read. It becomes harder to trust the market, harder to believe in quality, easier to say that this is normal, this is how things just are.
And if you speak English natively, well… You’re at a huge advantage. A lot of stuff is created by your people, for you. For countries like mine, that are small enough to import a lot, nearly everything is translated. I want you to imagine almost all movies subbed, every appliance made elsewhere (with menus needing translated and all), every app in a foreign language. And everybody who can cut costs will try to.
@spanish-blog I have an even better illustration of why machine translation sucks:
Here I asked google to translate 跌倒, a Chinese verb meaning “to tumble or fall down” into French. The translation google provides is “automne,” a noun meaning “fall, the season of the year between spring and winter.”
English is the only language where the word for “fall” (to tumble) is the same as the word “fall” (the season of the year). Neither Chinese nor French use the same word to express these very different concepts.
Google isn’t doing a bad Chinese-to-French translation here. In fact, it’s not doing a Chinese-to-French translation at all. What’s happening instead is google is doing a bad Chinese to English translation, followed by an even worse English to French translation. It’s playing a secret game of telephone, wherein requests to translate between two non-English languages are getting translated into English first, and then into the target language.
Yikes. 📞📱 🤙 💀
philip k dick wrote a novel called Galactic Pot Healer in 1969 and in it, some of the characters play a game where they run book titles recursively through machine translators and back again and the game is to guess the original title - our favourite one being “the cliché is inexperienced” which was originally “the corn is green” - and this is based on a genuine game using machine translation, the classic example from back then being
hydraulic ram -> water sheep
we mention this to make a point that in a lot of ways machine translation is barely better than it was half a century ago and that’s depressing
Today, I passed by a house that was targeted by an airstrike on its residents. Sadly, everyone inside martyred and they are still under the rubble till now. except for one person survived , who wrote the following on the rubble of his house:
A call for help for abood and Maria in Gaza!!! All thanks and gratitude for your humanitarian stances with us, and we
assistance in this difficult time. Tenth months of displacement and famine have exacerbated our suffering and difficulties beyond belief. We used all the words of sadness and sorrow to describe the situation we had reached, but such words were not enough. The scale of the tragedy and suffering is much greater than what you may have seen or seen on several social media
Dear Friends You can support my family by either donating or sharing my campaign link with others so that the goal is reached sooner Please help us. We are very tired and no one is looking at us. Please help
us. If you canno .donate, publish the account
help us , we need you to spread our story to the world
Another ask donation. This one is not yet vetted But according to the tags found here
Reverse image search did not turn up anything suspicious.
Use discretion, and donate if you feel comfortable doing so. If you are unable to donate but still want to help. Please share.
Additional evidence: @/mohiy-gaza (vetted) has confirmed that Abood is his brother along with @/ahmadresh. Proof below cut. Please share this message!
why did you add this to my post about wanting to have sex with women
The post that almost went to horny jail, then landed in wholesome territory
Oh, shut the fuck up. Why is it “horny jail” for a woman to want to kiss another woman? Why do women who like other women require a “wholesome” edit to fix their “horny” comic that was about nothing more than an expression of attraction? Because we’re gross for our desires? Because we’re unpalatable unless we’re ~chaste~ and ~wholesome~ and ~unpolluted by sexual attraction~? People view all lesbian attraction as predatory and it SHOWS. I hope you’re ashamed of this, genuinely.
Tumblr users never think critically about the religious views they were indoctrinated with as children and up creating cathowlwicism
fixed it
we need to tear down the horny jail like it’s the bastille
i was gonna try to give them all more interesting shape language but that Scared Me so i’m chickening out and just changing very minor parts about their outfits here’s bozzy with armwarmers
the blog killing axolotl is one of my favorite things that has ever happened on this website because talking about it afterwards sounds like an inside joke or perhaps a prank. like always be on the lookout for the blog killing axolotl. he can kill your blog. it happened to me once trust me.
there’s this very specific image of an axolotl plushie with the phrase ‘i am at my limit’ that i’m not posting for obvious reasons (even though i’m inoculated because i tried to post it before) that if you try to post it tumblr will immediately delete your blog. like completely. your blog is just gone if you try to post the image. you can get it reinstated but you have to go to staff and be like ‘hi my blog was killed by a picture of an axolotl can you please give me it back.’ we found this out completely accidentally when brianna brucespringsteendotcom made the image and then posted it and then her blog was just gone, at which point we started to experiment. anyway, a while later we found that if someone submits the image and you don’t know what it is and you try to post it it will also nuke your blog. this obviously all sounds like an incredibly stupid internet hoax so when you try to warn people about the blog killing axolotl you just sound like you’re trolling but i promise you, from the bottom of my heart, that we are not.
people in the tags are like ‘i don’t know if this is true but it sounds wild’ i feel like the old man you meet in the first five minutes of a horror movie that tells the teenagers on spring break not to visit the creepy old house at the end of the road
FAQs:
1. Is this the image of the axolotl plushie with the fire behind it?
NO! that is a different, more well known axolotl image that does not delete your blog.
3. hey, i remember this! it was over a year ago. does this still delete your blog?
someone in my askbox has informed me, under certain circumstances, yes. and that image is live, so be careful with it.
4. have you figured out what causes it?
same person in my askbox said this
which was my first theory before i went down the source code rabbit hole, although there must be a certain threshold for editing it since in the past people have posted censored versions where it still deletes your blog.
5. can i use it as my icon/can i send it to someone in dms/can i upload it if it’s not in a post/can i post an edited version of the picture?
back when this first happened if you did any of the above it deleted your blog, unless it was pretty heavily edited (someone in my discord put him behind bars - you know like he was caged - and i think when we uploaded that it didn’t delete the person’s blog? i could be wrong though). see the above ask for the most recent information. someone in the notes earlier (don’t remember who, sorry) also said that you can upload the original via mobile and it kills your blog, but if you try to post it on desktop it blocks it from being uploaded, so that’s also another route you could go if you want to experiment.
6. why have i never heard about this before?
spnblr is more complex and layered than you can possibly imagine it’s not my fault you can’t see it for the majesty it is.
7.this still sounds fake.
hey man, weird thing to lie about. but the picture and all the information you need to test it out is right here. post it to your blog. go on. prove me wrong. 🙂
8. didn’t people try to remotely delete neil gaiman’s blog by submitting that image to him?
we did do that yeah.
I’m here because a text to speech with subway surfers tiktok stole this post with no credit.
Perhaps remembering their family, the things they couldn’t do, things they should have done, all the things they must do now and will have to do in the future. Everything in a small moment. It’s too much.
Once a little boy went to school. One morning The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. He liked to make all kinds; Lions and tigers, Chickens and cows, Trains and boats; And he took out his box of crayons And began to draw.
But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make flowers.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make beautiful ones With his pink and orange and blue crayons. But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And it was red, with a green stem. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”
The little boy looked at his teacher’s flower Then he looked at his own flower. He liked his flower better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just turned his paper over, And made a flower like the teacher’s. It was red, with a green stem.
On another day The teacher said: “Today we are going to make something with clay.” “Good!” thought the little boy; He liked clay. He could make all kinds of things with clay: Snakes and snowmen, Elephants and mice, Cars and trucks And he began to pull and pinch His ball of clay.
But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make a dish.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make dishes. And he began to make some That were all shapes and sizes.
But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And she showed everyone how to make One deep dish. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”
The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish; Then he looked at his own. He liked his better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just rolled his clay into a big ball again And made a dish like the teacher’s. It was a deep dish.
And pretty soon The little boy learned to wait, And to watch And to make things just like the teacher. And pretty soon He didn’t make things of his own anymore.
Then it happened That the little boy and his family Moved to another house, In another city, And the little boy Had to go to another school.
The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. And he waited for the teacher To tell what to do. But the teacher didn’t say anything. She just walked around the room.
When she came to the little boy She asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?” “Yes,” said the little boy. “What are we going to make?” “I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher. “How shall I make it?” asked the little boy. “Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher. “And any color?” asked the little boy. “Any color,” said the teacher. And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.
~Helen Buckley, The Little Boy
…
I hate that I hesitated to reblog this just because I expect people to think it’s pretentious or melodramatic when it’s seriously real as fuck and I’ve witnessed it
Fuck man
My mom likes to refrence a story she read
About a guy who escaped North Korea
He said living there was like living in a pot
And he grew up there, so he grew into the shape of the pot
But once he was out
And the pot was gone
He was still in the shape of the pot
And he had to work really hard to grow outside that shape
You forget what made you happy in favor of what kept you alive.
You forget what made
you happy in favor of
what kept you alive.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
there aren’t enough words in the english language to describe how much i hate the way that most schools kill creativity and originality because they think conformity will make you better suited to society
Once a little boy went to school. One morning The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. He liked to make all kinds; Lions and tigers, Chickens and cows, Trains and boats; And he took out his box of crayons And began to draw.
But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make flowers.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make beautiful ones With his pink and orange and blue crayons. But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And it was red, with a green stem. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”
The little boy looked at his teacher’s flower Then he looked at his own flower. He liked his flower better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just turned his paper over, And made a flower like the teacher’s. It was red, with a green stem.
On another day The teacher said: “Today we are going to make something with clay.” “Good!” thought the little boy; He liked clay. He could make all kinds of things with clay: Snakes and snowmen, Elephants and mice, Cars and trucks And he began to pull and pinch His ball of clay.
But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make a dish.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make dishes. And he began to make some That were all shapes and sizes.
But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And she showed everyone how to make One deep dish. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”
The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish; Then he looked at his own. He liked his better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just rolled his clay into a big ball again And made a dish like the teacher’s. It was a deep dish.
And pretty soon The little boy learned to wait, And to watch And to make things just like the teacher. And pretty soon He didn’t make things of his own anymore.
Then it happened That the little boy and his family Moved to another house, In another city, And the little boy Had to go to another school.
The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. And he waited for the teacher To tell what to do. But the teacher didn’t say anything. She just walked around the room.
When she came to the little boy She asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?” “Yes,” said the little boy. “What are we going to make?” “I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher. “How shall I make it?” asked the little boy. “Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher. “And any color?” asked the little boy. “Any color,” said the teacher. And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.
~Helen Buckley, The Little Boy
…
I hate that I hesitated to reblog this just because I expect people to think it’s pretentious or melodramatic when it’s seriously real as fuck and I’ve witnessed it
Fuck man
My mom likes to refrence a story she read
About a guy who escaped North Korea
He said living there was like living in a pot
And he grew up there, so he grew into the shape of the pot
But once he was out
And the pot was gone
He was still in the shape of the pot
And he had to work really hard to grow outside that shape
You forget what made you happy in favor of what kept you alive.
You forget what made
you happy in favor of
what kept you alive.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
there aren’t enough words in the english language to describe how much i hate the way that most schools kill creativity and originality because they think conformity will make you better suited to society
oh my goodness, one of dian fossey’s first close up observations with gorillas happened when she was trying to climb a tree to see them better, but so badly that by the time she’d gotten up the entire group had come out of hiding to look at her: “Nearly all members of the group had totally exposed themselves, forgetting about hiding coyly behind foliage screens because it was obvious to them that the observer had been distracted by tree-climbing problems, an activity they could understand.”
hello, fellow apes
The lead up to that sentence is gold:
[Image transcript: porch. The group had been day-nesting and sunbathing when I contacted them, but upon my approach they nervously retreated to obscure themselves behind thick foliage. Frustrated but determined to see them better, I decided to climb a tree, not one of my better talents. The tree was particularly slithery and, try as I might, no amount of puffing, pulling, gripping, or clawing succeeded in getting me more than a few feet aboveground. Disgustedly, I was about to give up when Sanwekwe came to my aid by giving one mighty boost to my protruding rump; tears were running from his eyes as he was convulsed in silent laughter. I felt as inept as a baby taking its first step. Finally able to grab on to a conveniently placed branch, I hauled myself up into a respectful semislouch position in the tree about twenty feet from the ground. By this time I naturally assumed that the combined noises of panting, cursing, and branch-breaking made during the initial climbing attempts must have frightened the group on to the next mountain. I was amazed to look around and find that the entire group had returned and were sitting like front row spectators at a sideshow. All that was needed to make the image complete were a few gorilla-sized bags of popcorn and some cotton candy! This was the first live audience I had ever had in my life and certainly the least expected.]
imagine some freakish not-a-human alien THING has shown up out of nowhere and is trying to get into your office building to study you. but it has no idea how to get past a revolving door. it tries for three hours. by the time it finally understands the concept of a revolving door and squeeze into the building everyone in the office is crowded into the lobby to watch and call helpful suggestions. it’s conclusively determined that the alien is definitely not a threat, except maybe to itself.
clean water is such a luxury that we tend to take for granted.
i found out that wild animals can drink dirty water only because they’ve been acclimated to its contaminants since birth. because of this, any changes in the water can cause outbreaks of severe illness. animals raised on clean water would have just as much trouble with wild water as we would.
anyway, unrelated but Fuck Nestle
Nestle has done so much to the water it’s actually hard for me to find specific sources because there’s so many. when you google ‘nestle water’ the first autocomplete suggestion is 'nestle water scandal’ and you’ll get articles dating back to 2016 just on the first page.
the gist is that Nestle is a mega conglomerate and essentially a water monopoly. they’ve been known to buy land containing natural water springs and restrict access to that water from the locals, only to sell it back to them at an inflated price.
in the 1970s, nestle was exposed for causing the deaths of many infants in third world countries due to their baby formula marketing practices. they would offer free two week trials of their formula to struggling mothers, who of course would take the offers for some relief and convenience. unfortunately, two weeks is just long enough for a mother to stop producing milk if she isn’t breastfeeding, which would force them into buying more formula once the trial was over. on top of buying the formula, they would also be forced to buy nestle’s overpriced water or risk using contaminated water to mix the formula with.
nestle also owns almost all the local brands of water in the united states. they also own companies like loreal and purina. it’s incredibly difficult to boycott them for this reason. purina is also said to be causing illness and death in many pets, and has recalled one of their dry dog food options at least once
here’s a list of the companies and brands nestle owns. they are large and wealthy enough to afford their own private militia and form a sovereign country if they wanted to. the article also lists some more of their controversies.
clean water is such a luxury that we tend to take for granted.
i found out that wild animals can drink dirty water only because they’ve been acclimated to its contaminants since birth. because of this, any changes in the water can cause outbreaks of severe illness. animals raised on clean water would have just as much trouble with wild water as we would.
anyway, unrelated but Fuck Nestle
Nestle has done so much to the water it’s actually hard for me to find specific sources because there’s so many. when you google ‘nestle water’ the first autocomplete suggestion is 'nestle water scandal’ and you’ll get articles dating back to 2016 just on the first page.
the gist is that Nestle is a mega conglomerate and essentially a water monopoly. they’ve been known to buy land containing natural water springs and restrict access to that water from the locals, only to sell it back to them at an inflated price.
in the 1970s, nestle was exposed for causing the deaths of many infants in third world countries due to their baby formula marketing practices. they would offer free two week trials of their formula to struggling mothers, who of course would take the offers for some relief and convenience. unfortunately, two weeks is just long enough for a mother to stop producing milk if she isn’t breastfeeding, which would force them into buying more formula once the trial was over. on top of buying the formula, they would also be forced to buy nestle’s overpriced water or risk using contaminated water to mix the formula with.
nestle also owns almost all the local brands of water in the united states. they also own companies like loreal and purina. it’s incredibly difficult to boycott them for this reason. purina is also said to be causing illness and death in many pets, and has recalled one of their dry dog food options at least once
here’s a list of the companies and brands nestle owns. they are large and wealthy enough to afford their own private militia and form a sovereign country if they wanted to. the article also lists some more of their controversies.
why r some american tumblr users like the us education system didnt teach me that i have five toes on each foot so i didn’t learn it until my twenties 😞
Concept: Depressing dystopian factory where everything is gray and samey and the workers are called by their employee numbers by an ominous deep voice.
But it’s a really great place to work with high salaries, excellent benefits, and a flexible working schedule with plenty of paid leave. They just like the dystopian aesthetic.
PA system: Worker 72094. Leave your working station and report to the Supervisor immediately.
Supervisor: Worker 72094. You failed to meet your quota for 3 weeks in a row now.
Worker 72094: I can explain!
Supervisor:You’re clearly burned out. I heard you moved recently. Take a mandatory two weeks paid vacation to readjust and report to me then.
Worker 72094: I… thank you?
Shadowy Board Member: Worker 11335. Do you know why you were summoned?
Worker 11335: Is it because I badmouthed the company during lunch?
Shadowy Board Member: That is correct. We are very displeased, Worker 11335…
Shadowy Board Member: …with ourselves, that is. We hold ourselves to high standards of excellence which we clearly failed to meet. We were hoping you could advise us on necessary improvements. You will receive appropriate compensation, of course.
Job Interviewer: *wearing a featureless mask and speaking through a voice changer* Welcome to Hopeless Inc., Worker 100100.
Worker 100100: What’s with the mask?
Job Interviewer: I’m shy 🤭
Of course. All Hopeless Inc. employees are due-paying members of Mindless Drones United.
It’s a very responsive union that cares about its members on an individual level. They just love the dystopian hivemind aesthetic.
