i-am-the-egg-to-rule-all-eggs:

utopians:

utopians:

utopians:

The fact that humans can be killed through physical means is so ridiculous to me

Like this sounds wild but like. hear me out. a person is such a ridiculously infinitely complicated web of thoughts and feelings and beliefs and such an unbelievably huge amount of knowledge and the idea that you can destroy that by holding a pillow over someone’s face for three minutes is absolutely surreal. The idea that you can remove knowledge and emotion and memory from the world with a physical object is literally unbelievable. people are literally infinitely huge and complex and the fact that you can kill the person by killing the body is wild. I’m sure this is incoherent but I hope you get it

It’s like. Imagine you threw a fist-sized rock at the empire state building and the entire thing and everything inside it collapsed into dust. That’s what the existence of human death feels like

We live in a wild universe. Stars explode, black holes exist, and id be willing to bet every living thing is just as complex

scentedparadisekryptonite:

staffs-secret-blog:

world-heritage-posts:

milcsmorales:

spidersverse:

juliesdahlias:

melodramaticsoprano:

swordsoprano:

enjorlas:

jacobtheloofah:

aquacycle:

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu:

sheogayrath:

rslashrats:

hotvampireadjacent:

velvetys:

girlfriendluvr:

demo:

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aliquam nisi lorem, pulvinar id, commodo feugiat, vehicula et, mauris. Aliquam mattis porta urna. Maecenas dui neque, rhoncus sed, vehicula vitae, auctor at, nisi. Aenean id massa ut lacus molestie porta. Curabitur sit amet quam id libero suscipit venenatis.

this is the oldest post on all of tumblr, posted in october 2006 before the website even launched publicly in 2007.

world heritage post

oliviawebsite:

job interviewer: ok thats all for me do you have any questions before we move on?

me: what if a dracula show up 😰

interviewer: omg fuck😖 no. just no.

tree-of-blue-squirrel:

diskette:

diskette:

1percentcharge:

If the gore in a gore/body horror movie is mainly cg then what’s even the point

Ma’am what do you want them to do murdwr the actors???

Ohhhh I forgot about practical effects

bogleech:

a-book-of-creatures:

homunculus-argument:

ladydragonlet:

homunculus-argument:

If zombies were real, you wouldn’t first be warned by the approaching horde by their smell, by their groans, not even a cloud of smoke of the dust they raise coming closer from the horizon. It would be the flies. Hordes and hordes of insects, corpse-flies laying eggs on the carcasses of people who still walk, eating the eyeballs from their sockets, climbing across their unfeeling leathery skin. And the buzzing. The inescapable, deafening buzzing. Everywhere. Like you did not just kick a hornet’s nest, but the very ground you walk on was a hornet nest, and each step caused another explosion of insects.

Insects, corpse flies, the buzzing. Their swarms blacken the skies, more horrifying than their migrating meals. The deafening cacophony of constant buzzing, the horrid noise of the living who feast on the dead who feast on the living. The buzzing.

The endless, inescapable buzzing.

Hey OP, thanks for the visceral horror with my breakfast. Really pairs well with the sense of impending doom.

Thanks. I was out in the woods picking blueberries today. There were bugs.

Every so often someone reinvents the plaguebearers of Nurgle.

I’ve said this before but this is also why animate corpses wouldn’t actually last long enough to cause an apocalypse. Maggots strip a corpse of most soft tissue in only a few days.

In any scenario where zombies are actually made mostly of rotten dead tissue, rather than virus mutants or anything like that, maggots just immediately save humanity.

sesamie-moving:

eating pastries is so humiliating cause you’ll be having the time of your life having it and then when you’re finished you look down and you’re covered in flakes and sugardust like fuuuck now everyone is going to know i’m a messy pastry whore

charlesoberonn:

catrinecat:

charlesoberonn:

Anyone else reminded of those tweets where it’s like “being homophobic is wrong” and someone replies “how dare you attack Christians” like bro no one said anything about Christians but you.

This one?

charlesoberonn:

catrinecat:

charlesoberonn:

Anyone else reminded of those tweets where it’s like “being homophobic is wrong” and someone replies “how dare you attack Christians” like bro no one said anything about Christians but you.

This one?

this-is-a-podcast-fanblog:

“Kamala Harris raised 50+ million dollars after Biden dropped out!” you fools…. that’s the money she got from selling Biden to One Direction :(

i-am-a-fish:

sleepy-cone:

kittynugg:

i-am-a-fish:

not to brag but I just made a big financial purchase (one month of rent)

EVERYONE MOVE BIG FINANCIAL PURCHASE MAKER COMING THROUGH

NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY

FISH! OVER HERE! FISH!

After a successful exchange of funds, what moves can the people hope to see in the future?

ALT

i unfortunately will be doing it again next month

pigeocore:

railroadreverie:

👏 how 👏 many 👏 shrimps 👏 do 👏 you 👏 hgave 👏 to 👏 eat

👏 before 👏 you 👏 srimps 👏 flimp 👏 geep

👏 eeb 👏 ko 👏 freeg 👏 nan 👏 zo 👏 big 👏 zig

👏 shrimps 👏 are 👏 made 👏 of 👏 shrimp

Me when I start transforming into a sim mid song before snapping out of it last second

freackthejester:

I had a dream that a bunch of people were making jokes about how the economy was so bad that gay people couldn’t afford closets and were just “in the corner”

ectonurites:

ectonurites:

9desw8ghb2wq3

^ wisdom from my cat who just stepped across my keyboard while i was trying to make a post

^ the future face of cyber security

lilacblossoms:

headspace-hotel:

headspace-hotel:

also “ough life-saving essential medical equipment uses so much plastic” in this country you can purchase an artificial ballsack for your pickup truck

“ough watching a show uses so much electricity” on road sides there are giant electrified billboards that do nothing but show you ads

Thank you for the perspective check

lucy-is-bored:

certifiedgirlthing:

crowsent:

marisatomay:

anyway

updated version

Tiktok is the British museum of the internet (very derogatory ofc)

floople-doople:

str8aura-no-not-that-one:

never getting over how genuinely distressed tai lung looks when po does his shuffling trick. mid fight this man stops and panics because he cant figure out a childrens magic trick

i-am-the-egg-to-rule-all-eggs:

apas-95:

apas-95:

what if I squished my subcritical mass of fissile material against your subcritical mass of fissile material uncontrolled in the reactor

o-oh. i see. uh huh.

scentedparadisekryptonite:

pidipes:

scentedparadisekryptonite:

aloisjirasekbignaturals:

scentedparadisekryptonite:

aloisjirasekbignaturals:

My sentiments toward some Slavic languages as a Slavic Studies postgrad

Czech: I know I’m biased, but I think this one has the neatest orthography
Polish: … as opposed to this one. I like Ę and Ą, OCS ass sounds

Slovak: why are some of your consonants long. also where did your vocative go

Slovene: dual? in this economy?

Croatian: what happened to your accent system

Serbian: same as the above, and can you please stop dropping the L in sol and sokol

Bosnian / Montenegrin: no opinion

Bulgarian: when they ask me what Slavic languages are like I can’t answer “uh so they don’t have articles but they have declension” because of you

Macedonian: idk much about you but what’s up with that letter which looks like S?

Russian: I have too much to complain but (1) can you please refrain from moving the accent with a free, creative mind? (2) I think е/ё is crazy. I had an Артём in my Czech class and each teacher personally decided if he’s Artem or Artjom (3) that number thing (½-4/5+) repeating from 21, 31, 41… etc terribly bugs me

Belarusian: it deserves better

Ukrainian: united with Czech by changing G to H

OCS: I actively avoid this one. Ѭ looks like a Martian with a spear in his hand

I’m sorry idk jack shit about languages but what do you mean by long consonants in Slovak? Genuine question.

I haven’t studied Slovak properly and would love to be peer-reviewed by a Slovak person

There’re vowels that can be made longer and that can’t be. L and R belong to the first group. Like, you can say LLLLLLL or RRRRRR but you can’t say TTTTTT, it’d be more like T’T’T’T’T’T’ when you try.

My understanding is that Slovaks have letters that represents these long LLLLLLs and RRRRRRs, and they’re Ĺ and Ŕ.

Not a linguist, but Slovak and yea, we have ĺ (stĺp) and ŕ (mŕtvy (which no one actually reads as mŕtvy but rather mrtvý))

@scentedparadisekryptonite I’m really bewildered by your ‘mŕtvy’ pronunciation, why would you read it like mrtvý, what are you, Czech? Everyone I know says mŕtvy

90% ktorých poznám ignorujú dĺžeň na r, možno nie priamo mrtvý ale mŕtvy to tiež nie je. (also nie Česko ale východ, to mozno niečo vysvetľuje)

Aren’t the Serbian ijekavica and Croatian the same thing save for a few word changes?

bongjoonheaux:

bongjoonheaux:

Americans seeing people doing anything in unison: What a tremendous display of discipline and training :)

Americans seeing Chinese people doing anything in unison: My God they’re operating as a hive mind… no free will detected at all… they’re like a Yellow Borg…

Next time I see some kind of marching band performance I’m gonna start handwringing about the dangers of collectivist culture and how the University of Whatever is raising an army of human automatons for nefarious purposes

bongjoonheaux:

bongjoonheaux:

Americans seeing people doing anything in unison: What a tremendous display of discipline and training :)

Americans seeing Chinese people doing anything in unison: My God they’re operating as a hive mind… no free will detected at all… they’re like a Yellow Borg…

Next time I see some kind of marching band performance I’m gonna start handwringing about the dangers of collectivist culture and how the University of Whatever is raising an army of human automatons for nefarious purposes

bongjoonheaux:

bongjoonheaux:

Americans seeing people doing anything in unison: What a tremendous display of discipline and training :)

Americans seeing Chinese people doing anything in unison: My God they’re operating as a hive mind… no free will detected at all… they’re like a Yellow Borg…

Next time I see some kind of marching band performance I’m gonna start handwringing about the dangers of collectivist culture and how the University of Whatever is raising an army of human automatons for nefarious purposes

bongjoonheaux:

bongjoonheaux:

Americans seeing people doing anything in unison: What a tremendous display of discipline and training :)

Americans seeing Chinese people doing anything in unison: My God they’re operating as a hive mind… no free will detected at all… they’re like a Yellow Borg…

Next time I see some kind of marching band performance I’m gonna start handwringing about the dangers of collectivist culture and how the University of Whatever is raising an army of human automatons for nefarious purposes

musicforteenagers:

i am not going to add a comment

vizthedatum:

An apparently unpopular opinion: disabled people can have and do their hobbies. They deserve to have fun. They deserve to live their lives.

Their inability to do some things (like work, for example) does not mean they should be judged for… idk hanging out with their friends or to going outside. After all, having interests outside of work is often essential to our mental and physical health OUTSIDE of our disability.

And also *you might want to sit down for this* disabled people know what’s disabling for them (unless they people-please or push through due to necessity or survival of some sort). Disabilities don’t have to be visible or persistent to be disabling.

So yeah - my declaration: if an activity you want to do feels good and you’re able to do it, then do it. REGARDLESS OF YOUR DISABILITY WITH OTHER THINGS.

xxxdragonfucker69xxx:

sabertoothwalrus:

sabertoothwalrus:

glad we’re all on the same page

reallycoolsoup:

bewbin:

in World War 1 around 8 million horses died but in World War 2 it was under a million which can only mean horses started to evolve bullet resistance

I could convince Joe Rogan that this is real

criticallyaddictedtomilk:

gendersnaps:

keepongaming:

last year i was eating in a fancy, large restaurant when i began to hear a rumble and the distant sound of people chanting ‘potassium, potassium’ and suddenly hundreds of people dressed as bananas flood this restaurant chanting potassium over and over and we were trapped there for a very long time because the bananas would not leave and they were everywhere

i wasn’t joking

this post has haunted me for like 3 years. every time i start to think i imagined it, it shows up on my dash again and then immediately disappears into the ether for another 17 months

I think I would get along well with the potassium crowd

thatboreddrake:

winterbyn:

setepenre-set:

setepenre-set:

deathishauntedbyhumans:

squided:

whumf:

we’reくコ:彡 entering squid territory

 くコ:彡
                                                                      くコ:彡 

                            くコ:彡 
くコ:彡


                                                       くコ:彡

                          くコ:彡
くコ:彡

I know I’m following the right people when I see this kinda stuff on my dash

@setepenre-set

now C:≡ approaching octopus territory

C:≡                                                           C:≡ 
                             C:≡
     C:≡                         
                    C:≡                         C:≡

C:≡                                 C:≡      

onwards C{≡ to jellyfish territory

C{≡             C{≡

                                          C{≡
              C{≡                        
                            C{≡                         C{≡
C{≡                                 C{≡

oh! you’ve found some isopods! look at them go!

                                          }([[[[)

              }([[[[)                        

                            }([[[[)                         }([[[[)

}([[[[)                                 }([[[[)

@bimbomcgee

theygender:

mothgirlballs:

fursonas:

an erotic poem:

leg so hot

hot hot leg

leg so hot u fry an eg

A relic…

*touches ground*

I haven’t seen you in years,,,

vergak:

GAME IDEA REBLOG THIS AND TRY TYPING YOUR URL EYES CLOSED

scentedparadisekryptonite:

banhamm3r-r3al:

supermilkshakebanana:

thecrazyalchemist:

bleep-bloop-boo:

homocidalpotat:

bleep-bloop-boo:

homocidalpotat:

onceinalifetimexperiencebuttwice:

homocidalpotat:

klondyke-the-bear:

im-a-skeleton-in-your-closet:

ang3lic-t3ars:

the-martyrfication-of-the-matron:

localcryptidinthewoods:

xerith-42:

fruitcakebro:

bd-doughnut-boi:

VD&diydgbyt-buh

frjltfbtcameblj

wow

Xerith , ee

localgruptidinthewoods

i got it for the most part lmao

the-martyrfication-if-tge-mnatron

i mean i got it pretty close haha

ang3lic-rats

what the fuck did i merge both of my blogs

im a skelyon in you closet

dang thats really good considering ive never been tought how to type

op0jd7pe

somehow i opened settings halfway thru and didn’t get to finish typing 💀

not that it was close anyway

homocidalpotT

close

Ojceujwougrtikeguyyeuvf

Ehhh.. close enough

basically the same tbh

bkeeo-bloop=booo

that was so close!!!

hehehe thank you :DD


YOU TRYYY

ThecrZhalchemist

Almost!

Supermolkkshakebaebeb

Right…. I can’t type yay

banhamm4r’=÷@)

scentedparadisekruptojite

honestly not bad

Lukadjo

What??? How did I do that????? WTF

scentedparadisekryptonite:

bramblefrump:

trashboat:

strawberrycinema:

ig-braving:

ig-braving:

the most brutal exchange between the british and italians since WW2

fuck yea white on white crime

None of these people are on TV anymore and I like to think it’s cause of this

What do you mean he’s not on TV he just did a food Grand Tour with Ramsay and the other guy.

catboybiologist:

grandmacookie69:

slopmaster9000:

slopmaster9000:

goodypowderandacocola:

slopmaster9000:

meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you.

OKAY.

obsessed with this person who thinks that im monopolizing the notes industry and taking them away from “real artists.” like. hello

spot the tiktok intruder class 101

Oh, but you don’t understand, me papa put me in the notes mine, and I see it drying up every day. Do not reblog this post lest we run out of precious and limited notes to give

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

hellabifurious:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

queen bees are generally too heavy to fly due to their enormous ovaries and i think that’s fantastic

gym teacher: why can’t you run laps???

me, handing over my doctor’s note: check this shit out

the-one-who-lambs:

“is it okay if I draw fanart for your fic? do you mind if–” come. take my hand. we will waltz through the lavender fields and let the sunshine spill over our windblown hair until the twilight calls us home. we are bound to each other in creative harmony and I will keep it as close to me as I keep the beat of my heart

wizardshark:

yokowan:

FUCK I’M SORRY

i-am-the-egg-to-rule-all-eggs:

maxwellkattermann:

wingdingle:

shutthedirk:

attention to all dashcon attendees

someone urinated into the ballpit while it was empty and posted it in the tag

stay out of the ballpit

there are people who think this is a joke

this is not a joke

please stay out of the ballpit for the safety of your health

Ancient scribes detailing horrible events

Hey guys you know what you should do at dashcon 2

consuelodoodles:

blooming-conifers:

I was eating alone at a mexican restaurant once and a group of college kids were chatting over tortilla chips. There was some jabber and then..

“ ..we had to climb over the bob wire!”

“Dude, did you just say ‘bob wire’?”

“Yea man, that spiky shit!”

“You actually think it’s called bob wire? Like fucking Robert wire? You think it’s called Robert wire?”

“Well what the hell do you think it’s called?”

“It’s BARB wire you idiot! Like Barbara wire!”

*the third guy* “Oh my god. You guys. BARBED wire. Because the wire has barbs, it is BARBED.”

“Oohhhhh!”

“Fucking Robert and Barbara wire. Fuck you guys.”

skywitchmaja:

when you’re out at a restaurant or a coffee shop or a target or whatever with your friends and you overhear/eavesdrop the same snippet of some stranger’s conversation, and you look at each other for a second to check that you both heard this stranger say the same weird/funny/baffling thing and just break out in knowing grins and quiet laughter… that’s a love language

I hope Robert and Barbara Wire are in a happy and committed relationship.

shower-thoughts-last-responder:

mammalidentifier:

mammalidentifier:

fleshdyke:

fleshdyke:

i love how hyenas still have the winter coat gene

like if you keep hyenas in cold climates they just do this. its so silly

So do lions!

Oh yeah. Spotted hyena (Crocuta crocuta) and Asiatic lion (Panthera leo leo).

I refuse to believe these are real animals and not some kind of ice age caveman fantasy creature

zoethesportsblog:

zoethesportsblog:

has anyone asked why hunter biden insists on smoking crack when he can afford that primo uncut snow??

there’s a lot of answers here

studentofetherium:

brucebocchi:

brucebocchi:

this motherfucker actually just tweeted this in the middle of his own championship match at wrestlemania

just in case you’re doubting me

he lost, btw

transgirlsgetswords-deactivated:

ballofstress9:

the-astro-ambassadors:

geocaprican:

adamsmasher:

duncebento:

weaver-z:

This is the most powerful call to ratio I’ve ever seen. It’s like she’s performing an incantation.

“NO!….RATIO!!!”

Honestly obsessed with her

Absolutely based

always reblog bonnie

mod2amaryllis:

mod2amaryllis:

mod2amaryllis:

parts 1-2

part 3

and this is the true story of my monday afternoon

it frew up :’(

pointless-achievements:

setheverman:

setheverman:

you: suck my dick
me, an intellectual: inhale my richard

here it is! the post that started a “me, an intellectual” hell frenzy, and is officially ⭐ the worst post of 2016 ⭐

Rare Achievement Unlocked:

Irrevocable Linguistic Harm

Create a memetic phrase that still sees use for almost a decade afterward