July 2024

pissvortex:

This is crazy. I wonder if there’s some sort of historical basis for the rural landowners in America being wealthy reactionaries who just make other people do their work for them

chaogongoozles:

spongebobssquarepants:

Sharing this for everyone who stumbles on this post!! Please be safe y'all, def use gloves, mask, and make sure to have good ventilation! Always check the ingredients of your cleaning products before using them together! Please share this so more folks are aware, they literally don’t be teaching us important stuff like this to prepare for the Adult World™

thefloralmenace:

@astronomazed This is the flier. :)

42ds:

dowereallyneedthis:

queeranarchism:

rayvenreayes:

great-tweets:

Beware!

Avoid sci-hub too👀

From Ask for PDFs from People with Institutional Access

If you want to read an academic article that’s behind a paywall just email the author and ask politely if they will send you the article. Most academics will be thrilled that you want to read their work and will gladly send it to you.

PSA

moonsfavoritedaughter:

aropride:

shirt that says “i’m not high i just love saying insane sentences that don’t make sense”

ill need one of those

bish0ps:

bish0ps:

crocslederg:

crocslederg:

I sentence you to thinking about dragons for 10 billion year

crplpunkklavier:

a long tweet thread from the mountain goats twitter account, from january 1, 2022. transcript:
so I was washing potatoes last night when I got excited
it was just one of those moments, you know. I was getting dinner together and I looked at the ingredients coming together on the counter
and I thought to myself, and said aloud, “Hell yes, I have three potatoes”
living with me means having to develop a robust tolerance for hearing a guy occasionally cry out aloud: saying, for example, “Hell yes, I have three potatoes”
but over and above my everyday state of excitement about the ten trillion small things that ease the path a little – colors, shades, sounds, flavors, sensations, moods, fleeting thoughts, moments of transcendence when you’re very lucky –ALT
I had one of those moments of gratitude to have food. and not just the food but a counter to prep it on and a stove for cooking
but it wasn’t just the food and the kitchen and the comforts of home, either
it was me standing at the stove in a house where I’m safe. got here on my own two feet. had a lot of help. plenty of points where I wouldn’t have bet on the outcome. now I have three potatoes, you know?
here’s the thing
some of you reading this are in houses where you’re not safe all the time, and I know itALT
some of you are day-to-day with any of a thousand different troubles and on any given day you feel like you might buckle
maybe you’ve felt like that a lot of times over the past couple years. A lot of people have. some people have felt that way who’d had some preparation, and some people have found themselves navigating scary, unfamiliar straits
but if you’re reading this right now you managed to make it work. maybe it doesn’t feel lik eit worked all that well, maybe you feel like you’re coasting across the goal line with no fuel at all left in the tank,
but here you are
here you are.ALT
having found some way to nourish yourself through it.
look at the calendar, look at the clock. you sustained yourself through this. maybe you got sick, maybe it was real bad. maybe some things got better and maybe they got worse. but give yourself the gift of a long look in the mirror
look at the person [words unintentionally left out] hard, uncertain times, in days of sickness everywhere, will see another year
that’s the person who will do it again, and to that person, over and over, I say, loud enough for the neighbors to hear,
Hell yes, hell yes, hell yes, hell yes, hell yesALT
from all of us here at Mountain Goats Central Command a thank you for seeing us through 2021. it was so good to see you in the flesh again. stay safe. trust yourselves. we will see one another through to safer times
this year’s New Year’s Eve thread is dedicated to that one guy who’s mad about people wishing one another happy new year: may he never know why people actually do it
and may the rest of us, collectively, defiantly, never forget it /threadALT

from 2 years ago, still hits. happy new year kids

i-am-a-fish:

danshi175:

i-am-a-fish:

I like being lesbian. women

you are so real for that fish


free affirmations for anyone who would like them

bogcreacher:

bullies him

troythecatfish:

radioactive-yuri:

when i say that there’s a disparity in how aromantics and asexuals are treated, what i mean is that romantic asexuality is allowed to exist, but sexual aromanticism is not. what i mean is that all sexual content is expected to be tagged appropriately, and sex-repulsed people can block those tags, but romantic content is almost never tagged as romantic, and romance-repulsed people are just expected to be alright with that. what i mean is that you cannot make a single post about aromanticism without someone tagging it as “ace” or “aroace” (even if you specifically make a banner that says not to do so). what i mean is that i have gotten several hate anons from other aspecs just because i talk openly about being a non-ace aro. what i mean is that all aromantic representation is aroace. what i mean is that the aspec community is incredibly sex-negative. what i mean is that popular aspec media openly spouts alloarophobia and still gets praised as good aspec representation. what i mean is that non-ace aros are expected to seperate our sexuality from our aromanticism entirely because it might make some aroace uncomfortable to acknowledge that sexual aromanticism can and does exist.

there is a fucking disparity, you’re just not listening to us.

virtualgirladvance:

lost-my-soup:

virtualgirladvance:

Is soup in a bread bowl still a thing? Haven’t seen it around in forever and that would really fix me right now

A what?

Soup

In bread bowl

Round loaf of bread with the top cut off and hollowed out. it is filled with soupALT

Target audience reached in record time

eleilinnrallin:

This is a reminder for those who handmake Christmas presents that now is not too early to start. It may in fact be a good time to start if you have a lot to make/your craft takes a long time. You should maybe start it now, whether that’s brainstorming or actually doing the crafts!

verbnounadjective:

lukadjo:

miscellaneous-marios:

What the fuck

no

tagswoman:

annotated-catastrophe:

ladydei:

nebulations:

dinoswordsb:

This is in no way the best way to post it but it is the only way I could get the format to stay

[ID: A poem titled “A Detailed Step by Step Guide on How to Hunt”. It is formatted as a numbered list with indented sub-points.

1. Grab a rifle

2. Make sure it’s Dad’s. Not to make him proud, but to show someone else: Look. You can do it too.
2b. (You can do it better.)

3. Dirty your hands.
3b. (Cleanliness is wasted where you’re going.)

4. Pick a night when the sky is clear. When the moon is bright and full, resting like a hibernating beast.

5. Make sure the stars aren’t looking.
5b. (This is not for them to see.)

6. Aim.
6b. (Make sure it’s good.)

7. Admire her one last time as she is.

6b. ( Make sure it’s good.)

9. Shoot the moon down.
9b. (Watch it fall. Feel pride swell in your chest. Let it overwhelm you.)
2b. (You can do it better.)

10. The weight of her body crashing to the earth will shake the ground. It will knock you off your feet. It will be heard for miles.
10a. (Her skin splinters and the grass is suddenly powder white. A thousand whisker ghosts wailing before you, reaching for the hole she left in the sky. The trees are skeletons before the grave.)
10b. (You may grow afraid. Let your pride protect you.)

11. Approach your trophy.
11a. (Show no reverence for it. The reverence is yours, and yours alone.)
11b. (The ground will look like it is covered in snow. Your boots will be warmed by the blood.)
2b. (You can do it better.)

12. Gut it until it’s hollow. Scrape the bones clean with your nails, if you must.

13. Craft a rifle from the bone. 6b. (Make sure it’s good.) 13c. (Make sure it’s better.)

14. Marvel at your creation.
14a. (You did it better.)

15. The stars will notice it is gone. They will start to scream.
15b. (They will sound like cicadas from destruction itself. Some will sing, wherein their voices will never escape your head. I cannot tell you what they will sound like.)
15c. (They’re falling. They’re soaring through a dark sky that will stay dark without her.)
15d. (People will be making wishes on their bodies. Try to tell yourself this is beneficial. Their grief has made them beautiful.)
15e. (Try to let your pride protect you.) 15f. (You will fail.)

16. Regret it.

16. Regret it.
16a. (Regret it.)
16b. (Regret it. Regret it.)

16. Regret it.
16c. (There is nothing left to do.)
14a. (You did it better.)

17. Grieve until 16c. (There is nothing left to do.)

18. Find something to replace it.
18a. (Like a seed, a hope, a silver lining.)
18b. (Anything to fix your mistake.)
13c. (You can make it better.)

19. Bury it in the corpse.

20. Wait for something to happen.
20a. (Nothing will.)
20b. (Death has already run too deep into the ground.)
20c. (The stars have almost completely fallen away. You can still hear their cries. You’re starting to worry your ears might bleed. You can’t be certain silence will ever be a part of your life ever again.)
16c. (There is nothing left to do.)

21. Wonder what he would think. What either of them would think.
21a. (He was always so soft. He would start weeping.)
21b. (The idea of this will hurt more than any of the stars.)
5b. (This is not for them to see.)

22. Give up.

23. It’s getting cold.

24. Is it because of what you did?

25. Something has to replace it.

26. Crawl inside the body you massacred. Leave your new rifle behind,

27. Curl up. Become as small as you can in the carnage of your achievement. Let it overwhelm you.
26a. (It’s still warm. You wonder what its pulse sounded like.)
26b. (Was it human?)
23. It’s getting cold,

28. Realize how pathetic you really are.

29. Think of how the sun will feel.

30. Try not to think about how the sun will feel

31. Tell yourself the truth
31a. (Your pride can’t protect you.)
31b. (It never could.)
5b. (This is not for them to see.)
3b. (Cleanliness is wasted where you’re going.)
26b. (Was it human?)
13c. (You can make it better.)
15f. (You will fail.)
16c. (There is nothing left to do.)

32. Realize this is where you were always meant to be. End ID]

this has the sound of something Jennifer Egan would’ve written

Oh good grief that was heavy.

hiveswap:

grubl0af:

huggingstuffiesandcrying:

screamingnoodl:

Remember kids, Nazis don’t deserve their kneecaps.


Also if any of these are incorrect pls lemme know

i didnt see anyone saying any of this is wrong in the notes so im gonna reblog-

additional helpful resource:

this is the anti-defamation league’s hate symbol database. it’s massive and includes details about what symbols mean and where you might see them.

i’m a tattoo artist and use this all the time when i see a symbol i don’t recognize—better safe than sorry. it’s saved me from working with white supremacists a few times.

I’m glad to see the arrow cross (last one( there! It originates from Hungary and was used by the nazi party here, but it was banned after WWII. It barely shows up in guides/warnings like this and idk if they still use it but better safe than sorry.

maxstarfall:

carnelianfoxx:

Fox News had two men kissing for a solid 2 seconds on screen before cutting away

happy new years

legoyuri:

yourpsychicadvisor:

yeahiwasintheshit:

a-book-of-creatures:

beriliaa:

You can only reblog this today! Next time Thursday 20 will follow Wednesday 19 will be in 2439!

yb-cringe:

happy new years! be a faggot!!!! thats an order! !

fredfugues:

cherubg1rl:

raspbian-official:

foone:

villainessbian:

lushifer:

robot girl desperately trying to teach her tech illiterate gf the difference between usb-c and micro usb because she keeps buying incompatible sex toys

Tumblr looks like an algorithm designed to find all the ways to edge and deny robotgirls at this point

I mean, the purpose of a system is what it does, you know?

remember, model 3 rpis and below use micro usb, model 4 and 5 use usb-c. just for reference.

maldemer:

a wikipedia poem on software entropy

hjartasalt:

hjartasalt:

Obsessed with this energy tbh

mister-christmas:

surprisedentistry:

trufflesmushroom:

baroquebachmountain:

you’ve heard of the mortifying ordeal of being known, now get ready for the

one time one of my coworkers told me that she saw a preview of a show on Netflix that really struck her as something i would like and should try watching and i asked her what the title was and it was fucking Big Mouth

I think that counts as character assassination

l3irdl3rain:

l3irdl3rain:

My mom brought over a new toy for her grand kitties. It can keep Uncle Arthur and babies entertained for hours. Pancake eventually learned if she backs up a little she can play with it without getting hit in the face

a white and orange cat is carrying a kitten by the scruffALT

no more fun for babies. it’s time to go home

hydrattan:

I was feeling agitated and artblocked yesterday so I decided to give my brain a rest by watching TV and then the next thing I knew these were in front of me

thebibliosphere:

Do you think “Riddle me this, Batman?” has become a common lexicon among Gothamnites for when they don’t understand something?

I like to think it has. I like to think they’ve heard The Riddler say it one too many times, and now it’s just ingrained into their collective psyches in much the same way as “No shit, Sherlock” is.

I also like to imagine Bruce Wayne making a rare appearance at a corporate meeting, and the latest Gen Z hire, a generation that infamously doesn’t fuck with formal office corporate speak, just leans over the table and says, “Okay, I hear what you’re saying, but riddle me this, Batman,” and Bruce tries not to choke on his coffee.

hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard:

monsterfucker-research-wizard:

cool-jpgs-of-wizards-with-swords:

huskdawgzilla:

superwholockgarfield:

because-donuts:

rokkstar:

Printing this and hanging it up in the laundry room ☺

tumblr has taught me more about real life than real life ever has

did i just learn a second language

I’ve been waiting for this for ages.

unsafe sigil created.

@hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard

honestly just saving this for myself

artificialgirl:

A little piece snaps off somewhere inside of her as her machinery tries and fails to push against the harder metal of your forearm. It’s hard to tell if the little squeaks and whines escaping her are mechanical failure or exclamations of overstimulation, though at this point you suppose it doesn’t matter. A thin half-gear wiggles out of its place as you wedge her torso apart, chiming pleasingly on each component it bounces against on its trip to the bottom of her chassis. You grasp a fistful of wires, watch her movements go desperate and erratic as you give it a forceful twist. Most of it snaps free. Her left arm goes limp. She shakily rests the other on your hip as your straddle her, and though her vocal box has been reduced to a whimpering distorted mess, it’s clear what she’s feeling. Please don’t stop, keep going, go further. Take more. Destroy me if you need to. Whatever you do, just don’t let this feeling end. You’re happy to oblige. You rake fingers along the back wall of her interior, shredding PCB and connections all the way down. She gives a happy sound like a jammed industrial fan as her neck goes limp, head flopping to the side, her few geometric facial motors twitching. She moves that weak, convulsing hand from your hip to your waist, grasping hold of one of your abdominal columns. You pull hard on an interwoven cable cluster and it pops cleanly free from its port. The arm, her last functional limb, goes limp. You delicately uncurl it’s fingers from around the column, placing the hand delicately at her side to mirror the other. In this state, it would be easy to mistake her for scrap. You imagine she likes that. Immobile, body splayed across the floor, sensation centers in overdrive, there’s no doubt in your mind that the girl inside the motionless heap of metal beneath you is exactly where she wants to be. You sigh, press your rigid face tenderly against her own for a few seconds in an act that signals the beginning of a long and fulfilling process of aftercare. A dim LED blinks somewhere in the mess. You reach for your soldering iron.

wizardarchetypes:

oh gandalf “so do all who live to see such times” the grey, we’re rly in it now

isabelopaque:

i hate having to use fandom words its so embarrassing. yeah i Ship those two. sorry. yeah thats my Blorbo i guess. ill repent for this one day

thecoramaria:

Fanfic readers trying to find another fic exactly like the last one they read:

Second breakfast meme format, in which two hobbits are asking a question that reads as follows: "We've had one cake, yes, but what about second cake?"ALT

i-say-ok:

sheepgirlbulge:

spaghettioverdose:

Reblog to save a duck

it makes me so happy that they list other things you can feed ducks. my go-to is seed but I might start giving my local friends some of these other things

ok. :)

maryland-officially:

dr-mingus:

annotated-catastrophe:

bluerobinwrites:

Not gonna specifically tag anyone…but reblog if you feel like it and put yours in the tags.

L. F. Mangrove - The Black Ribbon

T. S. Larch - The Black Pillow

A. M. Oak - The Grey-Cat-Bat Railing

Đ. L. Maple - The Blue Tic Tac

walmart-the-official:

maryland-officially:

non-tyrannical-usa:

totally-ikea:

walmart-the-official:

Chat. Chat look.

WOAH

YOOOO

CONGRATS

I got in a video once :D

(on main)

but yours is way cooler

Honestly best post I’ll ever make

chipsgowoah:

dog-tranzer:

firstdegreeliberty:

elpatron56:

association-of-free-people:

programmerhumour:

Relatable

🤔

Best part tho?

hotvampireadjacent:

My coasters finally got here

bassguitarinablackt-shirt:

fairyycoffin:

hometoursandotherstuff:

reblogging this again because it remains true.

i reblog this everytime it comes across my dash lmao

formerlybutchpoet:

I’m like if a chivalrous knight kissed a fair maiden’s hand and said “my lady, I fight for you” and then walked off and immediately tripped over his own armor and fell on the ground

galactica-phantom:

galactica-phantom:

shit like this in 2000s era games is so funny because like we all know it’s real but in today’s internet it just feels like a shitpost

how could i have forgotten

papigetbusy-deactivated20221012:

woodmeat:

woodmeat:

Me

Boy I forgot to add da damn post

We not even trying no more here

:

vampsprite:

every time i remember this video exists im not even exaggerating when i say i wheeze until i cant breathe its the fuckijgn funniest thing in thw world to me it gives me a migraine every time i watch it

#decadesofhair

the-shrimp-that-fried-rice:

thelycanwitch:

l1terally-justawizard:

Observe my Dungeons and Dragons Prowess

look at it.

✨Dice Towers ✨

That’s right 30 dice towers, all together, in one place


you can applaud now

Ngl I thought that was 30 dildos

Im glad i wasnt the only person who had to look twice

thee0ne-with-rabies:

maryland-officially:

realsafari:

psychedelicdubidu:

same-pic-of-rickroll-everyday:

ameriscare:

businesshag:

I HATE how tumblr brings up your old tags as you’re typing a new tag because I really don’t!! Want to remember!!! Some of the things I’ve said on this godforsaken site!!!!

tag this post with your first result you get when you type will

i will deny any accusations of being a vampire

tbh I will probably die from falling out of a tree

#i will neither confirm nor deny the cocksucker allegations

’#< no but I will continue say they’re my best friend until you admit you’re wrong’

@thee0ne-with-rabies

#i will be chaotic

Well of course I will-

#steamboat willie

… Not what I was expecting

wearegoingfuckinganywhereman:

reply by anonymous:
would fuck you like a sewing machine
reply: 
What does this mean
reply:
Look up vids about sewing machine
reply:
Oo i seeALT

scifigrl47:

massachusetts-official:

theworldsfairshoudreturn:

So people just cross the road here? Like they don’t wait for the light every time? When I was a kid everyone told me that if I jaywalked I would get run over. I was walking around yesterday and a bunch of people just jaywalked right in front of cop. The cop was doing something else but wtf! If you are from Boston could you please explain this to me.

Official Post of Massachusetts

When I was around 11, my family took a trip to Washington DC, and continued treating traffic laws as suggestions.

We got stopped by a cop who proceeded to cite us for jaywalking.

My father handed over his license, and the cop looked at it, sighed, and declared in a rather weary tone that while he knew that jaywalking was “the Massachusetts state sport,” politicians could and would run us over. So stop it as long as we were in DC.

We did not get a citation and have referred to the Massachusetts State Sport every time we have jaywalked since then.

Well, my dad used to yell “Cmon, they can’t hit all of us!” but that’s honestly just him being a weirdo.

mercurialmilk:

When the corporate customer service quiz has this as a question:

And you have to decide if you want to pass the course or be true to your heart.