Found this because of @sanddoc06 . No clue where it originally came from, but I had to share it.
…Wow. :)
this is very funny and im glad it worked but also fun fact time: the US literally did this in the Philippines to try and make Chinese vaccine products less popular there
i got banished from the moon organ colonies for “improper conduct with the lab-grown corpses” which is frankly bullshit because they hadnt even implanted a consciousness in them yet so it’s not like they cared. but whatever. anyways as punishment I got transferred to go mine for sludge on Venus which I’m sure they thought was real funny since everyone knows there’s no sludge on Venus. So imagine my surprise when three weeks in my shitty secondhand laser drill broke through the bedrock and sludge started gushing out like a texan oil well. boy did I feel vindicated. there’s no way im telling the folks back on the moon colony cause I’m still upset at them, and the sludge creatures are way better improv partners than the corpses were anyways
seeing shockingly few people understand this very basic idea so i made this flowchart to help you determine when and if it’s okay to shapeshift into another person.
VERY SIMPLY STUFF PEOPLE!!!! I DONT KNOW HOW SOME OF YOU KEEP FORGETTING!!!
okay but what if im doing a bit. just so i can be like “oooo look at me i’m so-and-soooo” and make fun of them. if it’s really funny. it wouldnt work without the shapeshifting i swear
people use this as an excuse way too often!!!!!!
for people with static bodies, you have to understand how personal their facade is to their identity, and how traumatizing it can be for them to be stolen from them, even as a “joke”.
genuinely cannot believe the attitude some shapeshifters here have towards static beings… like. you’re mad at us for saying you shouldn’t shift into someone without asking first?? be fucking for real right now. if you shift into a real person you literally take a piece of their consciousness in your own to be able to channel their visage. it’s incredibly fucking disorienting to have a literal piece of you ripped away from your consciousness for g-d knows how long for someone else to play a silly prank (not to mention how fucking awful it is to have your visage used for something you would never do) and if too many people shift into you at once it can have incredibly damaging repercussions!! like literally ripping your soul from your body and killing your physical form. thats literally what happened to elvis. so many people started impersonating him and it fucking killed him. if any of the shifters on this site ever actually did any research on static people they would know this but they don’t care because static pain is only a big funny joke to them 🙄
THANK YOU. i try not to speak for statties too often (im not sure if i can say that word but “static beings” is kind of a mouthful, plz lemme know if thats not ok), but so many people literally act like you didn’t see the heartbreaking footage of Elvis pushing through his final show while his soul escaped his body!! as if it isn’t compulsive in the American school system to watch that footage in grade 8!!!
and most people just FORGAVE john lennon for straight up SOLICITING SHIFTERS IN HIS AUDIENCE TO TAKE ON THE FORM OF ELVIS WHILE HE WAS ALSO PERFORMING A CONCERT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AT THE SAME TIME AS HIM. i mean, he was shot about it eventually but nowadays people talk about him like he didnt basically kill a man live on stage.
it’s fucking gross honestly and not enough people take this shit seriously.
Hey, quick question. What do you mean “or place”???
Are you like, shapeshifting into the titanic or something? The leaning tower of piza?
it’s not my job to educate you.
This is misinformation! All shifting requires a piece of some soul! Just (in some cases) from a parallel universe! There is no ethical- *turns into a corn on the cob*
If you want commission info, also DM me I’m very desperate and flexible. SFW and otherwise.
Even if you can’t donate, reblog!! Anything helps!
Hey I haven’t gotten anything and I haven’t gotten the money I was supposed to from my other roommate so I’m really fucked over right now. Please help me.
PLEASE go help our friend glitches! They’ve been absolutely going through it and need support right now.
If you send me proof of donating at least 5 bucks, I’ll design some jewelry (I make earrings, bracelets and necklaces) based off of anything you want, includinh characters. More money = a bigger/more elaborate piece. Could possibly do a full commission and send it out physically if you send him enough. If you can’t, just share this around!
why is it when you go to a hair salon as a transmasc/nb person and go “i want something very short and simple. masculine. here’s a photo of a man. that’s how i want my hair to look.” without fail your middle aged hairdresser is like “yes. right. i know exactly what you’re looking for. let me just ….. snip snip” and you come out of there like 2007 kate gosselin
Ok so: I’m cis female but had this problem, in that I could never get them to cut my hair short enough. I eventually found ways to get them to cooperate though - and this was with hair I was sporting from 15-23, so you can probably get them to take you seriously. Keep in mind, though, that a lot of these tips will involve recognizing that you’ve already been misgendered and voluntarily running with that.
First of all, just go to a barbershop instead of a hair salon, if you can. It’s cheaper anyway, and you’re far more likely to get what you want from either a place where every employee has ten tattoos minimum, or from someone who’s mis-aging you not misgendering you
Barring that, e.g. If there’s only one shop nearby or your parents control where you go, pick the stylist with the wildest hair or most tattoos
If you can do so, make yourself sound like a huge lesbian the whole time. I could never get a middle aged white woman to actually take clippers my head if I hadn’t already talked about my (usually imaginary) girlfriend
If you like having your hair clipped/shaved, find out what numbers they use on you next time someone does it right, then tell everyone moving forward. Some still won’t believe you, but saying “I want a 2 into a 5” was always a lot more effective than “I want it shaved up”
Don’t tell them it’s fine until it is. I know this is something we’re socialized into accepting but this is true regardless of who you are and what hair cut you’re getting. If you’re not satisfied, say so. So what if they get annoyed? They’re not doing their job right. You’re paying for a service, you deserve it done the way you want.
On a related note, bribery will get you everywhere. If you live in a place where tipping is normal, and you can afford it, then come prepared with extra cash. If they do it right without you complaining, tip them well and say “hey, you’re the only stylist who’s actually listened, thank you.” If they need more convincing - especially if your parents are the ones paying and you know they’re trying not to piss them off - pull out a $10 or so and go “look, seriously, I will tip you extra if you just cut it boy-short”. It motivated a few ladies for me, when it was an option.
If all else fails, make up a reason you need it that short. You’re playing a character in the school play. You want to piss off your parents/ex/sister. Protest. “My friend has cancer and I want to make her feel less alone”. Yeah, lying sucks, but sometimes you gotta.
Hope that helps!!
Don’t tell them it’s fine until it is
As a real life stylist I cannot stress this enough. This is the most important part of the cut because if you’re smiling in the chair and crying at home it means I’m not doing my job.
And I also second the barber shop for the first haircut because once you come in with short hair and tell a stylist you want it shaved back down the majority of them won’t hesitate.
doesn’t it piss you off corporations act like you were born to see ads. why it’s so bad for trying to escape them??? the way it’s okay for websites to make ads sooo annoying you feel like you have no choice but buy premium. and even then you can’t escape ad reads. i don’t want to waste hours of my life skipping ads. finding the x button. or being woken by an ad that pops at the end of 3 hours long white noise video. using spotify without premium is a nightmare. i hate how ads are everywhere and somehow it’s normal to say ‘if you don’t want to see ads on youtube and use adblock then you’re stealing from them!’ what. i’m gonna install adblock on every computer elders in my family use as a preventive measure bc too many websites put ads in between news articles!!!
@ / staff apparently just removed gaza and palestine from trending tags, which have been trending (as they should) for days. fuck your one-sided coverage and your propaganda and fuck you for turning a blind-eye to what is being done to CIVILIANS. un fucking believable
what do you think this is going to accomplish- aside from making people even more aware of how the west and western media treats palestinians???
edit: people who support israel’s attack on gaza, get the fuck out of my post. if you don’t have the dignity to admit that palestinian children dying is JUST as bad as israeli children dying, and if you can’t admit that the whole world letting israel commit WAR CRIMES is absolutely disgusting, then block me because I sure as hell will block you.
wait so staff has generally removed movement focused tags from trending and put it in a separate “things we care abou” section like #coronavirus #ukraine #blacklivesmatter, but palestine and gaza are neither in trending nor in that section which is, certainly a choice.
Yes. Yes I am. And you can ask literally any marginalized man and they will tell you American Patriarchy hates them, too, specifically because they are being men in the “wrong way”.
Like fuck, this is feminism 101.
Edit: it’s non-radfem feminism 101.
Just look at the way that manosphere wierdos talk in reference to other men: they are competitors to be dominated either socially or with explicit violence. The whole grift is built on selling men the idea that they can climb their way to the top of the pile
^^^ This. It’s like a pyramid scheme of abuse. “If you throw fifteen men under the bus and convince five of your friends to throw fifteen other men under the bus, you can Win at Patriarchy, we promise!”
I can’t agree enough with this, and it’s something more and more men are speaking up about, even if our voices aren’t being heard.
Man box culture, as some call it, starts when we’re young. It’s pervasive - the competition to be a real “man” as defined by violence, dominance, and this absolutely fucked up concept of emotional detachment. It’s a raw struggle to not appear weak, and it starts with how adult men treat male children - the toxic values they instill, sometimes with words and sometimes with fists. And even if you grow up in a less toxic and more loving environment, you’re never really free from it. Your male role models, male adults like teachers and such, but especially male friends who are your age, all get caught up in this toxic system of abuse. And “real men” don’t have emotions, right? So you have to bottle all that up rather than understanding any of it because it’s *weakness.* All of that tends to come out in the one emotional state that men allow each other to display: anger. Shit, by the time most boys reach high school, they’ve been struggling against each other for years. All that hate, that anger, that uncontrollable rage? That’s been taught to them long before teenage testosterone hits. And by that time, it’s gotten worse because the patriarchy has defined how “real men” see and treat women. Underneath everything is this deep, deep fear of failing and becoming the weak punching bag. There’s so much shame to it all.
It isn’t always like this for every boy growing up, but no one is left unaware of its existence. And the only true way to stop it begins when we are young.
This is fucking heartbreaking.
One of my friends in law school once opened up to me and a few other people in our mixed-gender friend group that he didn’t really have friends before he knew us, even though he thought he did. We sort of nodded like, yeah man, we’re glad you’re our friend too, sorry people back in your home town were shitty – and he stopped us like, no, you don’t understand. He told us that he thought he had friends, and that those people thought that they were his friends – but that his all-male small-town social circle constantly hurled abuse at each other, and that they all thought that that was normal. He told us that he used to go out partying with them, and whereas when we’d go out, we’d talk each other up – like, man, nice shirt, love what you did with your hair, I bet chicks are gonna dig it, etc. – back in his old circle of friends? All they’d ever do before going out was talk each other down. You’re dressed worse than your friends? You look like trash. You’re dressed better than your friends? Why do you care so much about you’re appearance, are you gay? You’re dressed exactly the same as your friends? Wow, look at this loser copying other people’s look. You could never win, you could never even break even, and you were expected to not only put up with this, but to participate, because that sort of normalized constant stream of verbal abuse was the main way that you and other men your age socialized. He literally did not realize that men could have actual, real friendships – with women, sure, but also with other men – until he met us, because to him, the act of hanging out with people who you weren’t dating was so deeply intertwined with toxic competitive expectations that he flat out didn’t know that there was a different way to be until he moved halfway across the country for law school in his late 20s.
It’s incredibly fucked up, and men should be able to talk about what a patriarchal culture like that does to them without being silenced.
Tough Guise came out before the turn of the millennium for fuck sakes!
This used to be settled feminist theory! I studied it in uni! It wasn’t controversial!
the biggest problem with the world is that most people don’t think Correctly. If everyone thought Correctly there’d be no problems. why hasn’t anyone thought of this before
clearly we need to create a philosophers language in which only correct thoughts can be communicated. just gotta iron out formalizing everything that exists real quick
Chemistry: The model with 5 variables works for 99% of situations, and you’ve got another model with 11 variables for that 1% edge case. Unfortunately, you flipped a term in your stoichiometry and your answer was off by 6 orders of magnitude.
Physics: You have a choice of 3 models. The first requires only trig but is only accurate if the objects are both massless and frictionless. The second is perfectly accurate but looks like a Wizard wrote it to be intentionally obfuscating. The third is an effortlessly easy approximation but was empirically disproven in 1993 and will not be accepted on the exam.
Biology: So, um, I know we’ve never actually covered it in any of your mathematical courses, but, just a hypothetical; what if you suddenly needed to describe everything using recursion? You’d be fine, right?
Economics: What that? Accuracy? Predictive Power? Oh, no no no, we don’t need any of that, we just need something complicated enough to impress the Investors! You didn’t actually think we were accurately modeling The Economy, did you?
Game Design: Needs more triangles
Computer Science: We are the people responsible for implementing all the models. That doesn’t mean we’re good at it. Anyway enjoy approximating a differential equation using 10,000 finite steps and performing approximating a probability using 100,000 simulations.
Chemistry: The model with 5 variables works for 99% of situations, and you’ve got another model with 11 variables for that 1% edge case. Unfortunately, you flipped a term in your stoichiometry and your answer was off by 6 orders of magnitude.
Physics: You have a choice of 3 models. The first requires only trig but is only accurate if the objects are both massless and frictionless. The second is perfectly accurate but looks like a Wizard wrote it to be intentionally obfuscating. The third is an effortlessly easy approximation but was empirically disproven in 1993 and will not be accepted on the exam.
Biology: So, um, I know we’ve never actually covered it in any of your mathematical courses, but, just a hypothetical; what if you suddenly needed to describe everything using recursion? You’d be fine, right?
Economics: What that? Accuracy? Predictive Power? Oh, no no no, we don’t need any of that, we just need something complicated enough to impress the Investors! You didn’t actually think we were accurately modeling The Economy, did you?
Game Design: Needs more triangles
Computer Science: We are the people responsible for implementing all the models. That doesn’t mean we’re good at it. Anyway enjoy approximating a differential equation using 10,000 finite steps and performing approximating a probability using 100,000 simulations.
‘for technical reasons’ in a maths proof has the same vibe as 'for personal reasons’ in a tumblr post.
for personal reasons I will be integrating by parts.
Start accepting personal reasons in solutions. For personal reasons, I will be ignoring geometric approaches and instead calculating the surface area of a sphere by integrating along the parameterized boundary.
‘my beloved’ has made such an impact on me. made me much more likely to express my love of things. ah yes i do love this. i will now express it in a way that is comical yet also reflects my adoration. 'my beloved’ my beloved <3
A fucked up anime girl, with blood splattered on her face. But get this. She’s so fucked up that she’s smiling and happy about it. That’s the kind of person I am.
there’s a story in aesop’s fables, i think it is, about a human talking to a satyr or something. The satyr asks why the human is blowing on his hands during a snow storm and he says “to warm up” later inside the satyr asks the human why he’s blowing on the soup and the human says “to cool it down”
and the satyr has had enough and says “well I won’t have a guest that breaths cold air one moment and hot air the next” and tells the human to leave his house
- Haa is hot because your breath is warm from your lungblood
- Hoo is cold because, while the air is still warm, you’re blowing it at a greater pressure by blowing it through a smaller hole, and the effect of the windchill is greater than the effect of the slight warmth in the air
That story always pissed me off, because while people generally interpret it as “don’t be double-tongued” or “avoid those who are inconstant”, my interpretation was “satyrs are FUCKING STUPID”.
Y’all Netflix is trying to kick us off for using A DIFFERENT WIFI NETWORK from the “household”.
We are not more than thirty feet from the other tv.
We have FOUR wifi networks because out in the goddamn woods, all of them SUCK.
This is fucking ridiculous.
GUESS WHAT IT GOT WORSE!!
The verification process to prove we’re in the same goddamn house is a fucking SEIZURE TRIGGER
As in partner is ACTIVELY NOW HAVING AN EPISODE
It amped the tv’s brightness and flashed series of QR codes across the screen like a goddamn strobe light! Which you had to stand in front of and record for 15 seconds!
Website contact refused to provide a channel to make a complaint, insisted that we could only possibly be a household if we were all on the same wifi, and that if they couldn’t email or call the account owner all they could do was help us set up a new fucking account.
Partner isn’t in serious danger but jesus fuck if you’re a seizure risk do not go anywhere near it
Squidward only ever makes artwork based off his visage, it’s all very surface level and lacks any emotional depth
Squidward should start making artwork based on how Squidward feels and not how Squidward looks yknow? I feel like he’s experimented plenty with self portraits, but none of them really say much about Squidward as a person yknow
got drunk last night and got really emotional over Squidward’s potential and how much he holds himself back
Squidward only ever makes artwork based off his visage, it’s all very surface level and lacks any emotional depth
Squidward should start making artwork based on how Squidward feels and not how Squidward looks yknow? I feel like he’s experimented plenty with self portraits, but none of them really say much about Squidward as a person yknow
got drunk last night and got really emotional over Squidward’s potential and how much he holds himself back
i have a brain problem that prevents me from understanding people who need so much specifically newly-released TV shows that they’re upset by the prospect of going a few months without new ones being produced
like they could stop making video games and books today and I wouldn’t notice until sometime in 2026. honestly if they’d stop making new video games for a while that’d be kinda convenient. everyone take a break and let me catch up. I still haven’t even played Persona 5.
find me in 2029 going “you guys heard about this red plumber dude? little bastard just loves to jump lol. anyway it sounds weird, I know, but I’m kinda getting into it”
maybe just put “eww” near the bottom of the scale and it’ll be perfecto
you understand nothing.
Hi im a calvin and hobbes enthusiast and the context for this comic was calvin was trying on different glasses at the mall of different colors just wanted to share
why didn’t gandalf just carry the ring to mordor himself with these tongs
like i’m picturing him being really careful and looking at it and carrying it exactly like this while walking or riding through the woods and across rivers and up mountains and through valleys and he doesn’t drop it even once except at the very end where he tidily drops it into the volcano. frodo sam and the crew and even gollum wholly undisturbed. sauron can’t find him bc of the meditative aura surrounding him which is generated by his immense focus on not dropping it
“hold out your hand, Frodo – don’t worry, it’s quite cool”
if the piece of metal you just yoinked out of a blazing fire is so fuckin’ cool why are you holding it with tongs ya eejit
He means cool in the 😎 sense.
Gandalf knows all the hip slang in all the tongues of elves, dwarves, and men
it really isn’t acknowledged enough how mentally draining it is to consistently fuck up the same thing over and over again. The kind of thing that make people ask “how could you possibly fuck that up again, you’ve been doing that consistently for the past 10 years” and all you can give for an answer is “if I knew how I manage to keep doing this wrong, I would simply stop doing it wrong.” And they don’t like that answer, either.
Your brain isn’t designed to do that. The hunter-gatherer survival instincts that are pretty good at determining what’s sensible and what isn’t will just go “don’t do that, then.” There’s nothing in the natural environment that human beings developed in in which consistently doing something that you find unpleasant that consistently yields no reward would be worth doing. If you keep failing at the same thing again and again, then clearly the thing cannot be done, and wasting your energy doing something impossible to achieve that isn’t enjoyable to do is detrimental to your survival. Your brain punishes you for trying to do that.
And there is no way to explain to my caveman brain that I cannot simply stop doing laundry.
