So my roommate doesn’t like swears. They make her uncomfortable, so when I send her memes, I do my best to censor out any swears in them so she can enjoy them as much as I do.
I was trying to send her this meme
So I went to censor it into the final form in MS paint
Simple process, just set the secondary color to black
Highlight
And cut
Then copy and paste edited meme.
Which I did.
Except.
I forgot to copy the whole meme
So my roommate, whom I love dearly, just got a notification on her phone that only said
Posts that be like “If I were a monster that had to eat people, i would just eat horrible people~” are so absurd to me. How often do you see Known Criminals on the street? Billionaires out for a nightly stroll around town? Effectively fucking never. If I have to drag myself to the grocery store, you think it’s gonna be any easier for me to hunt Bezos and Co. every time my stomach growls? I can’t bother to plan meals more than a day in advance, how am i gonna perform whole ass detective work to confirm someone’s a serial killer before i eat them? Ya’ll got that much time on your hands? Planning 5 course meals every night of the week? Don’t make me laugh. Eat a pedestrian and tragically wrestle with guilt like the rest of us, idiot.
Experienced people eater weighing in with the most galaxy brain option
Posts that be like “If I were a monster that had to eat people, i would just eat horrible people~” are so absurd to me. How often do you see Known Criminals on the street? Billionaires out for a nightly stroll around town? Effectively fucking never. If I have to drag myself to the grocery store, you think it’s gonna be any easier for me to hunt Bezos and Co. every time my stomach growls? I can’t bother to plan meals more than a day in advance, how am i gonna perform whole ass detective work to confirm someone’s a serial killer before i eat them? Ya’ll got that much time on your hands? Planning 5 course meals every night of the week? Don’t make me laugh. Eat a pedestrian and tragically wrestle with guilt like the rest of us, idiot.
Experienced people eater weighing in with the most galaxy brain option
Posts that be like “If I were a monster that had to eat people, i would just eat horrible people~” are so absurd to me. How often do you see Known Criminals on the street? Billionaires out for a nightly stroll around town? Effectively fucking never. If I have to drag myself to the grocery store, you think it’s gonna be any easier for me to hunt Bezos and Co. every time my stomach growls? I can’t bother to plan meals more than a day in advance, how am i gonna perform whole ass detective work to confirm someone’s a serial killer before i eat them? Ya’ll got that much time on your hands? Planning 5 course meals every night of the week? Don’t make me laugh. Eat a pedestrian and tragically wrestle with guilt like the rest of us, idiot.
Experienced people eater weighing in with the most galaxy brain option
Literally heard a convo at the library where a guy was telling a girl that he’s an omega and the girl telling him that she’s a beta, and my mind just did not automatically connect the context to fraternity pledge classes at all and I just whispered to myself “what the fuck?? What the fuck??”
But low key makes me think about how people with adhd have been raised their whole lives to value a day based on what they accomplished vs what they experienced
I think your point is excellent. But also consider:
That list might say things like “Paint a picture. Go birdwatching. Finish that great novel I started reading. Call my grandma. Learn to bake a cake. Visit my sister. Play piano.”
For me at least, the good/fun things are harder without meds too. I can have the best intentions, but following through is hard.
There’s something hilarious about how so much subsequent media has positioned Vampires and Werewolves as, like, binary opposite entities, and then you read Dracula (1897) and realize that wolves are that guy’s preferred solution to every problem. You’d say something to Dracula about “ah yes, werewolves, vampires’ great eternal enemies,” and he’d just be like “you mean my subcontractors?”
I’m really enjoying the growing consensus in the notes that there’s an Eternal Rivalry Between Vampires and Werewolves now, entirely because the werewolves, sick of Dracula’s bullshit, have unionized.
my main requirement in a partner is someone who’s willing to “yes, and” me. if i say something completely insane i need them to just pick that up and run with it and commit to the bit until we wind up with a conversation that’s funny to us but completely incoherent to everyone within earshot. actually now that i’m typing this out i’ve realised my ideal relationship might just be “shitty improv comedy duo”
my other requirement in a partner is if i make a weird noise they have to make the same weird noise back to me and then we keep doing that until something interrupts us
so like. snakes don’t actually have long tails- their tails are infact pretty short- and basically all of their length comes from just having a very long torso.
What does everything mean? Why are you making blanket statements?
Why should I take internet stranger’s advice anyway?
Who even are you?
Why am I spending so much time sending questions?
Is my misguided attempt at humour going to pay off?
Time for some rapidfire answers!
Why: Because nothing is above questioning
What is my agenda: Desire for more people to think for themselves instead of just going along with groupthink
What does everything mean: it means I couldn’t think of an exception
Why am I making blanket statements: Nothing is above questioning
Why should you take an internet stranger’s advice: You shouldn’t, actually. You should do what you want. But I’m not the only one who advocates questioning everything, so it’s not just my advice.
Who even am I: Paleontologist and Anarchocommunist disturbed by the rise of cult behavior on the internet
Why are you spending so much time sending questions: IDK, why are you? For the bit?
Is your humor going to pay off: Yeah I’d say it did
Why can’t I have a pet kulinda?
the universe is cruel and you were not born in the middle jurassic
I cannot believe there’s absolutely no way to watch free shows and movies anymore, there are too many paid streaming platforms and pirating websites have viruses and ads preventing you from watching it uninterrupted((.)) id rather follow the rules and purchase media moving forward because it is too inconvenient. Seriously, free and no ads or viruses with 1080p streaming is DEAD.
Exactly! It’s freaking annoying when I want to watch movies but I would have to subscribe to like 24 different services . Just to watch the shows that I like.
Oh and wouldn’t it be nice for cartoons? Just anything animated. I just wanna stream things without getting conned. Must I be cartoonless forever?
i like using streaming apps but there are waaaay too many and they’re all stealing my data.iwish there was a secure and organized way to have millions of shows and movies available one one app. but alas. we’ve truly gone full circle back to cable + now it spies on you. its a real shame. i dont want to fill my device storage with tons of boring and stupid cash grabs.
I cannot believe there’s absolutely no way to watch free shows and movies anymore, there are too many paid streaming platforms and pirating websites have viruses and ads preventing you from watching it uninterrupted((.)) id rather follow the rules and purchase media moving forward because it is too inconvenient. Seriously, free and no ads or viruses with 1080p streaming is DEAD.
Exactly! It’s freaking annoying when I want to watch movies but I would have to subscribe to like 24 different services . Just to watch the shows that I like.
Oh and wouldn’t it be nice for cartoons? Just anything animated. I just wanna stream things without getting conned. Must I be cartoonless forever?
i like using streaming apps but there are waaaay too many and they’re all stealing my data.iwish there was a secure and organized way to have millions of shows and movies available one one app. but alas. we’ve truly gone full circle back to cable + now it spies on you. its a real shame. i dont want to fill my device storage with tons of boring and stupid cash grabs.
I knew someone once who had a constant tic that was basically just them rolling their head and going nya. You know. The Japanese work for meow. Like a cat.
And people kept asking them about it so to combat this they started wearing t-shirts with giant pictures of anime girls on them and they don’t even watch anime but it worked. People were just like oh yeah of course you’d say nya like a weaboo cat carry on
It’s things like that that make me wonder how our brains decide what’s normal.
Like a person saying a word frequently because they have a neurological condition? They need to stop and it’s unacceptable apparently. But a person saying a word frequently because they like a tv show? Oh that’s to be expected.
Some people just have tics for a while. Idk why I’m not a doctor but it’s just a thing that happens to some people. Not even just people with Tourette’s syndrome. Some people just have a tic for a while especially during adolescence.
I feel like we oughta bring back health class. There’s all kinds of things like this that are apparently pretty common parts of life that people get so confused by. My brother also had tics when he was a teenager. He just had tics for a while. Rolled his limbs around and made clicking noises periodically. Grew out of it. That’s how I learned that sometimes people just have tics for a bit. Nothing to be done about it, nothing to be worried about.
You really get used to it, talking to someone like that. You stop noticing the tic. It’s just part of how they are now. But people keep asking about it. And I feel like if we had health class in school perhaps less people would ask about it and you wouldn’t have to wear anime t-shirts to try and cover it up.
“He was homophobic, but not racist- which was about as good as it got?”
That, but reversed. That’s the full-time guy I’m paired with today.
“You know the Nepali immigrants a few towns over- they have a holiday where they all have one big orgy and that’s why their kids have so many developmental disorders- from all the inbreeding.”
…fucking WHAT??????
I was like…
“…bud, I’m not saying your wife made that up. It’s possible she misinterpreted something one of her Nepali students said once. But uhhhh. I can’t comment on that until I have a source.”
And then he shut the fuck up about it.
Context that I have:
Wife is a bus driver. Nepali child (young) is escorted to bus by aunt instead of mother.
Bus driver: where’s your mama today?
Child: it’s a holiday and it’s mama’s turn to sleep with everyone.
This is all alleged. Wife could have made it up! Kid could have meant something else! Kid could be struggling with language barrier!
But I feel like if there was a Nepali orgy holiday where everyone takes turns on each other, I probably would have heard of it by now. And unfortunately, Google is unhelpful.
I'm all for acab and I'm also generally wary of security guards just for being the way most of them are (stalking my also native younger sister) but the fact is that's not every guard. We've had some very helpful ones help us out too when we were being harassed in places. Like it's not an every guard situation the same way it is an every cop situation solely because of cops' power advantage.
The truth is we *need* people to question people in positions of authority. I don’t want to live in a world where people with power over others are free to throw their weight around with impunity- scrutiny is GOOD. Suspicion is GOOD.
I encourage questioning my motives, my ‘authority’, such as it is, for the same reason I encourage guards wearing body cams and observers filming me- because while *I* know I can be trusted not to abuse my position, nobody else does.
I don’t feel the need to defend myself from accusations that have no basis in truth, because I can be 100% confident that there will be no false convictions- there will be no evidence of wrongdoing because I’m not doing anything wrong.
I treat everyone I deal with with respect. I don’t make threats. I don’t touch anyone, for any reason, except with consent to offer aid. You won’t catch me flipping people off because I don’t do that. You won’t post a video of me using a chokehold on a guy because I don’t do that.
But you don’t know that, so play it safe. Film. Record. I hope you catch my coworkers pulling shit, cause if they’re abusing their position then they shouldn’t be here and I’ll be happy to watch them get canned.
Always scrutinize positions of influence and power. Always. You gotta
So many images of transmasc people focus on post-op skinny dudes which isn’t fun when you’re a chubby guy with tiggle biddies tbh
Like you all make jokes about men with big naturals but do you love fat trans men? For bonus points, do you love them even when you don’t wanna fuck them? When you see a guy with big boobs, do you think of him as less of man? Do you expect transmascs who haven’t had top surgery to bind constantly? Are you stuck on the skinny white able bodied dude with a mullet and top surgery scars? Do you recognize that most of us do not look like that, and may not even want to look like that?
Look. I’m going to be honest with you. Adopting that hard anti-plastic surgery stance while trans people’s lives and right to transition is at stake is absolutely horrendous timing. Knock it off.
Plastic surgery saves and rebuilds lives. While anti-aging culture and lookism are both detrimental to society, it’s important to remember that plastic surgery is healthcare.
People in the tags are nottttt getting it. I’m saying you should address the societal influences that lead young women to seek plastic surgery before you seek to villianize the plastics field and/or limit access to healthcare to anyone. Plastic surgery is healthcare.
I am not making this a ‘trans people versus feminists against lookism’ issue. You may require plastic surgery in your lifetime as well. Anyone could. The line of where plastic surgery is frivolous and driven by vanity or necessary for maintaining or creating a greater quality of life is far thinner than you think. That nose job may have been motivated by Eurocentric beauty standards or it may have been motivated by the desire to correct a deviated septum. I am saying that at a time when we are all losing our bodily autonomy and access to medical care at an alarming rate, now is not the time to be writing treatises on why access to certain forms of healthcare is bad.
im a trans man having top surgery this year and if a woman wanting a boob job had to go through all the exhausting loops I have with therapists and psychiatric evaluations for nearly 2 years then I wouldn’t feel better, I’d feel sorry for her. we BOTH should have been able to go to the doctor and said “I want my chest to be different” and to have it be done without a hassle, because we’re adults and we get to chose how our bodies look. a lot of times your self image just can’t be cured with body positivity and good self talk. no one else gets to judge someone for what they do with their body regardless of the reason.
Wait anti plastic surgery you don’t actually need people want to make it legally harder??
If your solution to a problem restricts someone’s civil rights then it needs to protect an equal or greater amount of theirs or someone else’s civil rights,
I truly hate the word “unalive.” There are so many other euphemisms that fictional Italian mobsters worked so hard to provide you with and you just ignore them.
A lot of people around me are having kids and every day it becomes more apparent that hitting your children to punish them is insane because literally everything can be a horrible punishment in their eyes if you frame it as such.
Like, one family makes their toddler sit on the stairs for three minutes when he hits his brother or whatever. The stairs are well lit and he can see his family the whole time, he’s just not allowed to get up and leave the stairs or the timer starts over. He fucking hates it just because it’s framed as a punishment.
Another family use a baseball cap. It’s just a plain blue cap with nothing on it. When their toddler needs discipline he gets a timeout on a chair and has to put the cap on. When they’re out and about he just has to wear the cap but it gets the same reaction. Nobody around them can tell he’s being punished because it’s in no way an embarrassing cap, but HE knows and just the threat of having to wear it is enough.
And there isn’t the same contempt afterwards I’ve seen with kids whose parents hit them. One time the kid swung a stick at my dog, his mother immediately made him sit on the stairs, he screamed but stayed put, then he came over to my dog and gently said “Sorry Ellie” and went back to playing like nothing happened, but this time without swinging sticks at the nearby animals.
The psych nerds found out ages ago that punishments that make the child think for a few minutes (about one minute or year of age until they’re tweens) is much more helpful to develope social intelligence and understanding than punishments which prevents thinking, like the ones that involve pain. In fact, corporal punishment encouraged lying, extreme reactions, violent outbursts, go figure, they don’t trust you.
This is all really fucking serious and important and I’m mainly reblogging for that, because this correct mentality needs to be spread around more, but I’m also reblogging because I absolutely lost it at the child who dreads having to wear the normal blue hat of shame.
Lil bro is the most slorpable thing I’ve seen in a while
For the last time we don’t measure Slorpability here. I am uninstalling your buzzer and you don’t get it back until you learn what the categories actually mean.
Getting the exact correct combination doesn’t matter nearly as much as having the confidence to get it open. You don’t need to be exact with the combination, but if you’re unsure of yourself the lock shant open.
The bond between me and my padlock will allow us to win the big race tomorrow.
When I tell people to delete anon hate, to not publish it, it’s not me saying “ignore it and it’ll stop; don’t fight back.” It is 100% petty and spiteful. Honestly, I can’t think of anything better than the person who sent the hate obsessively checking your blog and refreshing and refreshing, waiting for you to reply, and getting increasingly frustrated when the ask they so masterfully crafted never pops up & you just keep posting cute pictures of your pets and talking about how nice your day was.
THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS!!!
