frontline-titties-of-the-fifth:

frontline-titties-of-the-fifth:

frontline-titties-of-the-fifth:

im excited to get top surgery bc oh blah blah disphoria back pain slouching not a girl but mainly because i have been planning for over a year a joke thats about to pay off:

my family does not know i am getting surgery so i made sure to get all the same bathings suits i wore last year in a new size and just straight up gas light my aunt about it

like imagine her. you go to the beach with your family one day. its a beautiful day and you are obsessed with commenting on peoples bodies. everyone begins removing their coverings and you are now seeing someone who, historically, has bazonga’d with the best of them. this person is no longer breasting boobily. child, you say, what has happened to your one redeeming feminine quality? the child responds, auntie wat the hell you tawking bout? ive always looked like this i literally wore this last year??

UPDATE showed up to the family party in a tank top instead to get everyone at once and it went a little like this

me: hi all!

family: 😀😐🤨😲 …where’d your boobs go?

me: ooh buffalo chicken dip!!!

sirlordevil:

cryptidwithaninternetconnection:

cryptidwithaninternetconnection:

Went insane over this scenario I texted Sage

@sagehyperfixates @cats-and-confusion @vaporeon2010317 @hyperfixation-tangentopia @filijester

And I decided to draw the Ex-Hero MC, Oscar!

Oscar uses He/they and is transmasc! Can’t afford top surgery currently so he uses an old binder he made from his old hero costume, it’s essentially a bullet-proof vest that doubles as a binder he wears under everything.

Oscar as previously mentioned is an Ex-Hero, the mentioned accident occurred where he was held hostage in a burning building by a villain who had almost died from a Hero/Villain fight and decided to get back at the heros, this incident gave Oscar a wake-up call at how corrupt the hero system is, so at 16, they left, faking his hero persona’s death and living out the next few years as a self-proclaimed ex con (to him, it’s the same thing) working at a bookstore named “Fables and enchants” over by his shitty apartment building.

But after a Hero and Villain fight above their workplaces roof, Oscar is unwillingly dragged back into the world of heros and villains, but this time as a medic :)

If anyone wants to join this story, DM me and we can work it out!!! I genuinely want to do this bc Peripheral Illusions is postponed due to one of the writers having tumblr taken away from them ^^

Join uuusssss >:]]]]

Lemme in on thissssss (pretty please)

adhd-languages:

In the Spanish Gravity Falls dub, the “My ex-wife still misses me..but her aim is getting better!”

Is translated as “My ex-esposa todavía me quiere…¡me quiere matar!”

Roughly translating to “My ex-wife still wants me… wants me dead!”

anthonyvolpe:

english-history-trip:

tuulikki:

velvet4510:

To anyone who believes fairy tale romances never happen in real life, may I remind you that JRR and Edith Tolkien met and experienced a forbidden love in their youth, and then were separated for five whole years because of his guardian’s rules that he could not date till he was 21, and she got engaged to someone else only because she assumed he’d forgotten her and lost hope that she could ever be with him, but then on his 21st birthday, he wrote her a letter saying he still loved her and wanted to marry her, she responded basically saying ‘if I’d known you hadn’t left me on the shelf, I would never have said yes to anyone else,’ then a week later she greeted him at the train station and then immediately dumped her fiancé, and they got married and she converted to his religion and danced for him in a flowering field far away from the trenches into which he was drafted, which left such an impression that he crafted an entire story about the most beautiful maiden in the world who danced in the woods and made enormous sacrifices to be with the man she loved, and they had four kids and remained faithful to each other and blissfully grew old together and their gravestones are now marked with the names of that same fictional couple that he created, who broke every rule and overcame every possible obstacle to be together and get a happy ending, who only did all that because he based it all on their own real love story.

Knowing all this has always made this bit of Beren’s song instantly reduce me to tears:

Though all to ruin fell the world

and were dissolved and backward hurled

unmade into the old abyss,

yet were its making good, for this—

the dawn, the dusk, the earth, the sea—

that Lúthien on a time should be!

Tolkien straight up wrote a poem that said “the world could end, but it wouldn’t have all been pointless, because she was in this world, however briefly, and that justified all the rest.” Kills me.

Who can outdo Wife Guy Tolkien? Dude was writing elaborate AUs where his wife is an impossibly beautiful magic-wielding immortal elf princess who fights Satan and wins to rescue her human boyfriend from Satan’s doom fortress. Flawless.

Final note: while they were dating, a favorite activity was to go to a local cafe with a balcony and throw sugar cubes into people’s hats.

definitely-not-a-plant:

miles-tails-prowers-crotch:

gableforks:

tibetanquaaludes:

preyanimal:

birds-in-posts:

beadyeyes:

Can’t get over this becayse why did she do thay

Common ostrich (Struthio camelus)

goodlouse:

redraw of famous isopod image !!

brucebocchi:

the one piece is real and it’s in dallas, texas

arsnof:

oneheadtoanother:

sandmandaddy69:

Tumblr is the most eco-friendly social media site because we will see an old post and be like is anyone else gonna recontextualize this and not wait for an answer

totallytesco:

maryland-officially:

d4rkerthanbl4ck:

This will never not be funny to me.

Zeus that you?

He’s literally the definition of that chad wojack

aveloka-draws:

Game night

postsforposting:

postsforposting:

thesnadger:

blujayonthewing:

simplyfroggy:

petits–oiseaux:

unboy:

you motherfuckers better be lifting with your legs and not your back

Because I never knew what that really meant until my back already hurt:

[X]

Hurting your back isn’t always “ow, I lifted something really heavy and immediately felt a sharp pain,” sometimes it’s caused by the cumulative stress of straining it in tiny ways over a long period of time. Getting in the habit of good body mechanics makes a difference!

“average age of this site” no you should be doing this even when you’re young. Do it right from the beginning and you reduce problems later on.

#Not everything is about adults or aging Tumblr#Just because you’re experiencing it

yeah that too. smacks of the “you’re too young to be ill”. cancer kills infants. pain does not care about your age, but people act like it does.

aveloka-draws:

Forneus steals your bitch what do you do?

Part 1

Part 2

aveloka-draws:

aveloka-draws:

Good bye cat mom (pt 2)

Pt 1

the-perfect-wagnerite-again:

helpimstuckinafandom:

I’M FUCKING CRYING LMAOOO

This post nearly got me ostracized by two of my swiftie friends and I don’t think a third will ever look at me the same again lmaooooo

chainsaw-child:

cock-holliday:

ALT

X

Too good to leave in the tags

ane-doodles:

Outfit swap! @neon-virus

I also wanted to do something fun! ((just imagine they are looking in a mirror))

depsidase:

machine-unlearning:

machine-unlearning:

machine-unlearning:

Just discovered the queue, this thing is amazing

I love how everyone silently agreed to queue this and it’s only now crawling out of the processing vortex. Tumblr posters love being contrary so much

skopostheorie:

skopostheorie:

Tumblr is just a community developing a new dialect in record time

The fact that in mere months “I’m bald” became an actual way of saying “None of the above” is insane. It’s insane.

selkiewizard:

wizardarchetypes:

selkiewizard:

i think i would enjoy grazing. were i a cow …

what about if aliens picked u up in one of them beams

All of our problems seem so small from up here

queer-as-city-folk:

queer-as-city-folk:

Song that has this as the lyrics:

I mean I would hope that it has more than sapphic “vibes” based off these lyrics

demimonde-semigoddess:

dicksnot-deactivated20210512:

shigraki:

*walks into american followers bedrooms* *in gentle voice* hows it going champ

localtrannanarchist:

pawbeanies:

heyy can we do a sexy roleplay where im a prince from a fallen kingdom and youre the powerful warrior who has taken me for their own pleasure. yes? yipeeee ok so before we start first here’s a google doc with the whole history of the fictional land we’re both from and the intricate geopolitical workings of the- oh yeah and here’s a supplementary doc on the agriculture and trade routes of said fictional land and stuff and yes this is important. the dirty talk has to be lore accurate

queer-as-city-folk:

communistdragon:

queer-as-city-folk:

Massachusetts is just California with shittier weather

In what universe does California have better weather than Massachusetts?

According to the average American, LA has perfect weather (they’re wrong of course, but when is the average American ever right)

ane-doodles:

ArtFight Attack for: @jollierot

the-haiku-bot:

bamsara:

the-haiku-bot:

bamsara:

ALT

ALT

twitch chat was making “smash” jokes during cotl and thus these were made

ALTALTtwitch chat was

making “smash” jokes during cotl

and thus these were made

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Haiku bot are you sure this was the post of mine you wanted to do

Haiku bot are you

sure this was the post of mine

you wanted to do

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

the-haiku-bot:

sourcreammachine:

cuttleskulls:

william-snekspeare:

hyposensitivity:

people who are afraid of snakes are fuckin’ WILD, like dude, just carefully step over these fat babies’ sausage bodies and gently move the burmese python chillin’ against the door, then you become unfathomably rich. i would do this for $10. i would do this for FREE. 

I would pay $10 to do this

GG EZ

[Patreon]

i don’t know enough about snakes so genuinely

i would startle, hide, and frantically google. then pet the babies

i would startle, hide,

and frantically google.

then pet the babies

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

that-vexaholic-cryptid:

I just can’t get over the peculiarity of Marcille’s outfit

Everything looks very practical and layered and comfortable. Sensible, tied back hair, warm overcoat with a hood, long dress that seems made of durable, dense fabric and heavy stitching, with a sturdy leather belt and at least what seems to be bloomers or longjohns underneath…

…. and then you’ve got these fucking cheap ass basic bitch sandals. No insulation, no traction, no padding, no arch support, not water proof, no protection from anything whatsoever. You’re going to run in THESE? You’re going to traverse rock and stone and slime and ice and tall grass in THESE?? You’re going to BATTLE FOR YOUR BLOOD SOAKED CHIMERA GIRLFRIEND, IN THESE!?

Girl you are AT LEAST getting hella blisters

beautysnake:

It had to be one hell of a transition

But dont worry, Lamb socializes him by only letting him eat when they’re around like a feral kitten

Keep reading

dystopiansocietystraw:

ALT

when i tell you i had an aneurysm

salvia-plathitudes:

itspurvis:

t3sticles:

ovenroastedtwerkey:

t3sticles:

socialistexan:

ranked-competitive-sexhaver:

argumate:

toastpiercer-deactivated2020080:

could it be…? a good political cartoon?

The artist is Clay Bennett, a Pulitzer Prize winner and a veteran of his craft. Here’s some more of his work: 

The wire hanger one hit me like a ton of bricks.

Can someone explain the last one to me

@t3sticles it’s a reference to coat hanger abortions, because defunding Planned Parenthood doesn’t stop abortions, it just means that people are forced to seek dangerous back-alley solutions

Ohhhh that makes sense, thank you

Clay Bennett is real good, but all these cartoons are before the Trump era.

Trump broke him hard, and I dunno if he ever recovered. His thing is a simple metaphor that is punchy and insightful. The blatant cruelties of Trumpism were behind his ability to really work with in that context, and his work suffered heavily for it.

His latest can be found here

lastoneout:

jesusinstilettos:

I’m about to save you thousands of dollars in therapy by teaching you what I learned paying thousands of dollars for therapy:

It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.

Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.

1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.

2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?

3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?

4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”

5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.

6. Repeat, it takes practice but is a skill you can learn :)

I have been in EMDR therapy recently to help with past trauma and like 90% of the appointments is just this post. Which I thought was silly at first bcs I was like “well I know how I’m feeling, I feel bad” but man you have no idea. Literally JUST talking through whatever stressful thing I have going on at the moment and whenever I feel a Big Emotion stopping and acknowledging, naming, and sitting with it. I’ve made more progress with my trauma and mental illnesses just doing this in a single year than I have in like 10+ years of therapy.

It might feel silly or pointless at first but stick with it, it really helps.

kithpendragon:

nokingsonlyfooles:

I am not Echo.

I do not have a curse on me that says I can only repeat the words of others for eternity.

I have my own voice.

I am not an AI.

I can’t just spit out the input that others puked into me for eternity.

I have a brain.

I am a human being. I have a finite existence. I can’t do anything for eternity.

And I can’t exist humanly in a space where I can only say

“I like this” and

[SOMEONE ELSE’S CONTENT WITH 3-6 DIGITS OF NOTES].

I can’t even hear the person whose words I’m echoing.

It’s just a whisper with no context in a void.

And you sure as shit can’t hear me this way.

So many words to read and images to see.

Each one of them ulraprocessed to be digested in seconds so I can shit out my two possible responses and go eat something else.

I can’t love your art this way.

And you’ll never see mine.

I trip over so many people who came here to be seen

Who wind up invisible

Doing unpaid content curation for a shitty corporation that would do anything to turn a profit and still can’t.

And yet, I still run into others who are offended I interacted with their words in the void and added my own.

No. This is my space. You have two things you can say in it.

They’re the two easiest buttons to use in the app.

Say your lines or don’t say anything at all.

I don’t like my lines.

A lot of people here say nice things, beautiful things, powerful things, things I value.

But I don’t like my lines.

And if having my voice heard just gives other people something else to echo

That’s not really being heard either, is it?

And now, because of the goddamn political situation

I’m watching so many people repudiate the very idea of saying things

The very idea of innovation.

Something changed? No it didn’t.

Sit down shut up fall in line. Saying things is dangerous.

Let’s all make sure we say the same things

Together.

Forever.

Just like before.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

I like it when people think.

I like it when people think and they have something to say.

But {HEART] and [REPEAT] is not a thinking person’s response.

It’s an echo.

I can’t hear your voice.

And you can’t hear mine.

So what the fuck are all these words for?

Did I say something you wanted to say?

Then go say it for yourself. You have a voice and a brain.

If you want to hear me, I have a story.

Good luck finding it.

So far, it doesn’t echo.

Heh. Now I wonder how many goddamn “likes” this’ll get?

OK. After some consideration I think I’ve got a metaphor to try on here.

Culture is a liquid where each particle is a single voice.

Now, we don’t measure each particle in a sample of any substance; that would be prohibitively difficult, and we don’t need that level of detail anyway. Instead, we measure aggregate behaviors like temperature and pressure to tell us how to expect the sample to behave. An individual particle might be zooming right along at a given instant, but if it’s got much more energy than the particles around it, the sample just isn’t all that hot. Anyway, that one hot particle is likely to encounter a cooler particle any time now and transfer some of its energy.

So it is with the gigantic conversation that is culture. If your personal “heat” is much different from what’s around you, you’ll find yourself crashing around and changing your energy level frequently. But make no mistake: you’re still contributing to the overall temperature of the sample.

Evaporative cooling occurs when one particle in a liquid happens to gain a lot of energy from its neighbors and happens to be situated near a free surface. With enough energy, it can leave the liquid. But - and this is critical - the aggregate has lost all of the energy it took to eject that particle, and that means the temperature of the sample is lower.

That’s why it’s important for all of our voices to continue. Enough people give up, and the nature of the sample changes in exactly the opposite of the way that voice was acting against.

Now, none of this changes the fact that we all need to take care of ourselves and each other. We need to find a sustainable level for our voice, pass that energy around so none of us get ejected or burn out. That’s what the echo is for.

peteytheparrot:

Do you pay attention to the lyrics in songs?

Yes

No

Other? (Say in tags) / I’m bald / I don’t listen to music (what)

See Results

Reblog for a bigger sample size I’m genuinely curious by this

kiwisandpearls:

I understand people who get angry at how easily statements and posts can get misinterpreted and twisted here on tumblr, piss poor website and what not.

but then I saw a reblog on this and it had me thinking…

when your making bite-sized posts about things it’s going to inevitably happen. Your post is going to be taken in the wrong light. That’s not totally your fault in particular and some people can and will just take anything you say in bad faith (‘I like x’ ‘so you hate y?’) and while I won’t deny that tumblr is indeed the ‘piss poor’ website, I think it’s just important to understand that stuff is just gonna happen when your post are like a few sentences long.

…

although tumblr being the ‘piss on the poor’ website probably does not help lmao.

So you’re saying we piss on the poor?

you-need-not-apply:

How much does AO3 cost the planet?

According to the website co2 calculator here

Hey it’s not all bad :)

parasprite:

im addicted to this video btw i quote it daily

catchymemes:

genericpuff:

cinoclexity:

charlignon:

penguicorns-are-cool:

DO NOT DO THIS!!!

If a website has a paywall, like New York Times, DO NOT use the ctrl+A shortcut then the ctrl+c shortcut as fast as you can because then you may accidentally copy the entire article before the paywall comes up. And definitely don’t do ctrl+v into the next google doc or whatever you open because then you will accidentally paste the entire article into a google doc or something!!!! I repeat DO NOT do this because it is piracy which is absolutely totally wrong!!!

Also do NOT append “12ft.io/” before a URL ! Typing an URL like this https://12ft.io/<URL> will redirect to a site that would break the display of the page by removing the paywall !

Honestly it’s kind of prohibited to mash CTRL+P before some paywall windows can load in to get a PDF of the article. Really shouldn’t be done tbh very dangerous🤷🏿‍♂️ ❌️

elliegoose:

image of a beautiful world in my medical terminology quiz.

abbiistabbii:

:

anyone else miss the old konqi design. the crusty retro one

Now don’t get me wrong the current design is absolutely adorable but something about this makes me feel a special way

Everything about 00’s KDE should be forgotten. It is currently the best desktop environment for Linux. Back then it was…well…

omniscient-sims:

*rising up from loosely packed grave soil* who the fuck buried me. This is atrocious. Do a better job next time

a-meh:

batbusiness-schooldropout:

My favorite thing about J. Jonah Jameson is that he just hates Spider-Man. He supports mutants and doesn’t hate enhanced people. He’s not racist, sexist, homophobic, or transphobic. He just hates Spider-Man. And I’m half convinced that he’s faking for the publicity.

He’d probably get pissed if he hears someone hating on Spider-Man for being enhanced.

“Spiderman isn’t a menace because he can climb walls! He’s a menace because he’s climbing walls without a license or safety equipment! He’s setting a bad example!”

“I just want you to know that you that your identity as an enhanced person is valid. Your identity as Spiderman is trash.”