July 2024

teaboot:

teaboot:

teaboot:

teaboot:

teaboot:

Yall gotta stop stealing. Not for any specific objective moral reason but because you fucking suck at it

Me (contract security): Hello ma'am

Lady: Oh hello sweetheart how are you :D

Me: I’m doing great, thank you. Hey would you mind kindly taking that waffle iron out of your purse

Lady: How dare you. What the hell are you on about. I’ve never stolen a damn thing in my whole entire life

Me:

Me: Na'am my buddy two towns over called me about you an hour ago and texted me your license plate. We’re in direct view of six live feed CCTV cameras and the box is sticking out under your armpit

Me: I’m not gonna do anything if you walk out but the owner saw you nab it while he was stocking shelves and if he calls the cops I won’t be allowed to go home until I write a three page detailed report about it

Me: I’m fifteen minutes from shift change

Me: Please let me go home

Me: Kid PLEASE

Teenager (like 14-15): I don’t have anything

Me: I know you do. YOU know you do. This is not my first day on the job and you are not the best liar I’ve met. PLEASE put our toilet paper dispenser back

Teenager: Or what? You’ll call the cops?

Me:

Me: Kid your last name is printed on the ass of your volleyball pants and the nearest highschool rang for dismissal 20 minutes ago I’ll fuckin doxx you on fortnite

Me: I’m sorry sir I can’t let you in, the owner says you’re banned for stealing $500 in pork loin

Guy: I needed food!

Me:

Me: I understand, things are tight for me too. But if you’re short on groceries we actually have a lot of great free meal programs around town- my friend actually goes to this one on main street every day before work and she says it’s helped a lot.

Me: Would you like a resource guide? It’ll tell you what time the food pantry is open and how to access other free and reduced things you might need. Have you applied at the food bank?

Guy: Jesus Christ no, I’m not some freeloading bum

Me:

Me: Sir I don’t think I can help you

Me: Sir you have tattoos on your face just put the air fryer back and go


Edit: ITS CAUSE THEYRE MEMORABLE IDENTIFIABLE FEATURES AND IF SOMEONE SEES YOU DOING SKETCHY SHIT YOURE FUCKED TGERE WILL BE POPO AT YOUR RESIDENCE IN MINUTES

ITS NOT PROFILING TO TELL A GUY WHO’S STEALING THAT HES GOT A NAME TAG ON

valtsv:

i <3 waking up dehydrated as fuck and gulping down a glass of water and watching my complexion go from “shrinkwrapped ice mummy” to “living dead girl” in real time

anarchblr:

you don’t hear about people being sent to horny jail anymore this is another victory brought by the anarchists fighting for prison abolition

enriquemzn262:

explorerrowan:

enriquemzn262:

lookingattheedgeoftime:

Keep moving J002E3, this is Earth’s turf.

We really do owe the Moon a lot. I mean, she’s HUGE compared to the sorts of moons a planet like ours usually gets. A planet our size can usually expect a couple of decent asteroid captures, but nothing like her. And because she’s so big, ¼ of our mass, her gravity deflects so much space crap from coming near us. She’s like a big, burly knight with a big shield. I like her.

It’s always so weird finding myself in a post with a ton of notes.

foone:

One of the key reasons I prefer ThinkPads is that the little TrackPoint ClitMouse is one of the only pointing methods I’d still be able to use if I was shrunken down to legoman size. Trackpads, mice, touch screens, styluses? No way, not if you’re tiny. But that little red joystick? I figure I could manage it.

And part of my brain has been asking the question of “how could I use this thing if I got shranked all tiny?” since 1989, when I saw Honey, I Shrunk The Kids.

freshlybakedbaby:

agnoll:

reblog this post ONLY if you’re older than it, people born after july 27 2024 DNI

fuck off dude

guerrillatech:

empress-of-dark2005:

bumblebeebats:

bumblebeebats:

Was at a restaurant recently where they’d converted both their bathrooms to gender neutral (nice) and as i was washing my hands a guy came out a stall and saw me & said, “Oh!!! my god!! Is this the ladies’?? 😨😨😨😨 I’m so sorry!!!!!!” and I was like “No, it’s fine, it’s gender neutral” and he goes “…….Oh. uh. Ok.” And then walks straight out. without washing his hands.

Sir. You need to be less embarrassed about hypothetically crossing some arbitrary gender barrier and more embarrassed about getting your Peepee DooDoo Shit Hands all over this fucking RESTAURANT

“Separate bathrooms are unnecessary” false. Actually we need every building to have TWO gender neutral restrooms, one for People Who Wash Their Fucking Hands and the other for people who don’t, which is actually just a door leading to a 10ft pit with scorpions at the bottom. And also a mandatory power point presentation on disease vectors

sovietnam:

communistkenobi:

sandetigerrr:

metamatar-deactivated20250401:

communistkenobi:

I know this isn’t a novel observation but I’ve been reading a lot of articles about colonial and imperial policy (specifically demography history papers) & one pattern that keeps coming up is that colonial/imperial governments try to institute what can reasonably be described as “good” social policies in colonised places (like vaccine programs, funding for schools, etc, things that are associated with the smooth functioning of a state), and these are often rejected by local colonised governments and people because like obviously they don’t trust colonial/imperial administrators wanting to become involved with their healthcare or education. And what often ends up happening is this backlash against “progressive” policies because they’re being pushed by colonial governments, so you get shit like the Catholic Church running all the primary schools in Ireland because they refuse to open British-funded state schools, or people refusing to immunize their children because those “public goods” are (rationally & understandably) associated with things like US imperial population management programs. And then these colonial & imperial administrators turn around and say look! These people won’t even accept money for schools and vaccines! Look how backwards they are! And paint colonised populations as Great Rejectors of Democracy which western populations then readily eat up. Just a really horrendous feedback loop of misery that generates a lot of ‘secondary’ death and violence on top direct colonial oppression and plunder

the vaccine thing is insidious even now. the us government using healthcare workers to gather intelligence for directing drone strikes in afghanistan led to a suspension of the polio vaccine campaign in taliban controlled areas. afghanistan was the polio capital of the world in 2018. they’ve resumed polio vaccination campaigns now under the taliban, but the death and misery of those infected was completely avoidable.

Hey OP do you have any papers that you especially like on the subject that you’d be willing to share? I’m interested in this topic and would enjoy some more academic reading on the subject.

Yes! Hopefully all the links work, if not you can search the title online (all of these are technically open access, although you may need to create a JSTOR/academia.edu account to access them, sorry!)

Pro-birth policies, missions and fertility: historical evidence from Congo by Catherine Guirkinger & Paola Villar (2022)

A paper detailing how the Belgian Empire sent missionaries into the Congo in the 1920s to increase fertility by evangelizing Christian gender roles. This is technically a “population management” policy, as many European colonial powers were obsessed with managing the population of their colonies on the logic that more people = greater colonial labour capacity. You can see how the church functions as an organ of the colonial state, operating to achieve ends “unrelated” to the church, such as population control, through evangelizing against birth control and encouraging people to think of themselves as components of the cis-heterosexual christian nuclear family (this is not exactly the process I was talking about above, but is still related to how colonial domination influences social beliefs in colonized populations)

From population control to ‘reproductive rights’: ideological influences in population policy by Seamus Grimes (1998)

A paper talking about the use of “reproductive rights” as a population management tool by imperial powers, most notably the mass subsidizing of birth control, particularly in African countries that have been colonized. It talks about how some of the foundations/organizations used by the US government (such as USAID) act as a front for these imperial population management programs, particularly in Latin America, describing it as “a willing conduit for US government funding through the US Agency for International Development (USAID), thereby shielding the USA from accusations of direct involvement in promoting the control of Third World population.” (375).

There is also discussion of how World Bank loans are used to enforce population control on colonized countries - “There is a strong suspicion that the timing of the Nigerian government’s population policy in 1988 was related to the acceptance of a $78.5 million loan from the World Bank. The imposition of a structural adjustment programme (SAP) has resulted in reduced spending on primary health care, so that treatment for malaria and the provision of clean drinking water is being ignored, while contraceptives have become widely available.” (387)

I particularly like this paper because it also gives historical context to the eugenicist strains within the US reproductive rights movement (most notably from Margaret Sanger); this history is not an unfortunate, misguided 'whoopsie’ on the part of an otherwise progressive movement, but rather, was/is embedded in the deep racial anxieties of Western states around the supposed decline of the white race.

Colonial Population and the Idea of Development by Samantha Iyer (2013)

An intellectual history of the idea of development and population growth. There is a lengthy case study of British colonial rule in India and how that informed the development of sanitation practices as a result of mass death under said rule, both from British troops and colonized Indian populations

Medical experimentation and the roots of COVID-19 vaccine hesitancy among Indigenous Peoples in Canada by Ian Mosby (2021)

I can’t find the other article I was reading about vaccine hesitancy, but this is an open-access article talking about the history of Canadian colonial medical violence towards Indigenous peoples and how that contributes to vaccine hesitancy. A lot of people in the notes have also brought up the US-backed anti-vaccination campaign in the Philippines during the early COVID-19 pandemic

digital-magus:

myterribletwenties:

thebestofmen:

forfawkssake:

myterribletwenties:

myterribletwenties:

dylanolinski:

pale-unic0rn:

larrystylinson-stuff:

larrysbellybutton:

gomezwantsmullerinhisbed:

dylanolinski:

I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

sometimes it just ends up being something like

image

ITS BACK

lord 

Y’ALL NEED JESUS

Please stop reblogging this post

This post made my water break

In honor of my daughter’s first birthday next week, I’m sharing the post that made me laugh so hard that it broke my water.

WHAT

God, I love this accursed website.

Hey internet, the girl that was born from this post is 4 years old today (July 2 2021) also, the gif still makes me laugh. Happy Birthday, Marceline!!

Happy 7th birthday Marceline! Your mom is a tumblrina and probably named you after a cartoon vampire <3

shyeheya:

esthermika:

mch3ll3:

and then every now and then you let her finish, but you open the door immediately so shes only able to let out one whimpering beep

small-witch-big-hat:

bicokun:

small-witch-big-hat:

hexmaniacmareen:

johnlockandthedoctorsblog:

fuckyeahwomenprotesting2:

freedominwickedness:

In medieval culture, an event like a royal christening is not a private party; it’s the public social event of the year. To not invite any person of rank to such an event is a deadly insult.

Maleficent is certainly someone you wouldn’t want at a party, but she’s also someone powerful enough that only a fool would ever dare treat her with such blatant disrespect. The only way the King and Queen could possibly have gotten away with not inviting Maleficent was to not invite any of the fairies at all; inviting the other fairies and excluding her is explicitly taking sides in the conflict between the fairy factions.

Which means they made themselves her sworn enemies, and she responded by treating them as such from then on. If you actually get into analyzing the social dynamics of the scene, it’s very clear that Maleficent was willing to show mercy at first by giving the King and Queen a chance to apologize for their disrespect to her. She doesn’t curse Aurora until after she gives them that chance and they throw it back in her face with further disrespect.

And yeah, if the King and Queen had done the properly respectful thing and invited her, Maleficent would have given Aurora a scary awesome present. Moreover so would the other fairies, because at that point both sides would be using it as an opportunity to show off and one-up each other. What they gave her before Maleficent showed up was basically just trivial party favors by fairy standards.

How do you know so much about the social dynamics of medieval fairies

How don’t you

i mean isnt that just

logic

like powerful witch breaks into your party and is like “why wasnt i invited”

id immediately behead someone for supposedly forgetting to send a messenger then invite her to have my finest wines NOT INSULT HER TO HER FACE

They were worried she would do terrible things (to them, to Aurora, to the other guests…) if she were invited. Her nature kind of put them into an impossible position, where they risked catastrophe either way.


And then insulting her doused gasoline on everything.

Well, I like to think Maleficent was just going to give Aurora dragon powers.

Oh hell how can I get THAT kind of blessing

hometoursandotherstuff:

“Jonathan” is the oldest living terrestrial animal known in the world, born in 1832 and in 2024 he turned 192 years old.

He lived through the First and Second World Wars, the Russian Revolution, lived through seven British monarchs and 39 presidents of the United States.

chongoblog:

found one of those codes at the bottom of my fanta bottle cap so i put it into mycokerewards and they gave me access to a room where i could see the one living dodo bird

derinthescarletpescatarian:

derinthescarletpescatarian:

I love this poster because

I saw

CASH ONLY
mob:

and automatically interpreted it as “we only accept untraceable cash because this event is being run by the mafia”

yeah

btc-official-deactivated2024071:

charl0ttan:

reposting because op was fash

SKOPalso copied from the other post

taviamoth:

Irish MP: ‘I hope benjamin netanyahu burns in hell’

Irish Member of Parliament, Thomas Gould, became emotional over the death of children in Gaza following israel’s attacks on Rafah last weekend. 'I hope [israeli Prime Minister] benjamin netanyahu burns in hell in the same way those children burned’, he told Parliament.

serial-unaliver-deactivated2024:

?

politijohn:

Source

Some good news!

willgrahamscock:

willgrahamscock:

homophobes are so weird why are you thinking about gay people while proposing?

He thinks it’s hilarious that the queer community is fighting back and honestly he’s pathetic.

william-snekspeare:

alternate take on my other steve comic.

help me afford new socks

politijohn:

Source

Source

Source

HOT LABOR SUMMER

memeuplift:

jeannedarcprice:

notalickofsense:

TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE

To any of my mutuals who are ever in doubt 💕

moral-autism:

etirabys:

The missing platonic solids of tumblr – first row preexisting, second row mine.

(Anyone who wants to use these are icons need not ask, although I enjoy being informed that people liked the produce of my labor enough to do so!)

Good post, OP

moral-autism:

etirabys:

The missing platonic solids of tumblr – first row preexisting, second row mine.

(Anyone who wants to use these are icons need not ask, although I enjoy being informed that people liked the produce of my labor enough to do so!)

Good post, OP

kii-tty:

spxceboytoy:

Also there has never been a “good” US president. Each and every one of them has presided over unimaginable suffering. You only think they’re good because you were comfortably removed from that suffering and violence

bun0nthemoon:

Squish the moth!

unalivejournal:

Give me 2 glasses of wine and indeed.com and I’ll have a new career by sunrise. The blue man group of Boston needs me

spellcore:

ah yes they call me “No Queue” Jones because I post everything I reblog at once with no breaks in between and then vanish into the night for extended periods of inactivity

generaljenobi-deactivated202411:

elamimax:

patricia-taxxon:

patricia-taxxon:

ive found that partially treated mental illness can sometimes look to uninvolved onlookers like faked mental illness.

“someone who really has pOCD would be disgusted and horrified at their intrusive thoughts” or maybe i’m in therapy & am going by the books, being radically ambivalent to my intrusive thoughts instead of wasting energy mentally washing my paws of sin. i’m not going to perform my rock bottom for you for the sake of being believed.

“I won’t perform my rock bottom for you for the sake of being believed” is going straight into my permanent storage holy shit

only-cat-memes:

baddywronglegs:

roach-works:

slightlydraconic:

ospreyonthemoon:

official-nature-posts:

grison-in-space:

creekfiend:

kangaroos are like what if a scary muscle man occupied the ecological niche for deer

well I wouldn’t like that very much. is what

technically it’s more like if the scary muscle man occupied the ecological niche for horses, since we’re talking broadly grazing species here rather than browsing ones. isn’t that better. he’s a horse! we combined man and horse, isn’t that something humans like imagining

and he only has the scary punching hands because he needs to be able to climb to get what he needs :) unlike deer :) :) :) and horse

Official nature post

To be fair kangaroos started in trees i think? So it’s more like what if a squirrel decided to become a horse

To be fair, humans also started in trees.

humans are what happens when a squirrel wants to become a bear

A kangaroo is a horse that knows capoeira

theonlybezo:

aeolianblues:

THERE ARE NO TORIES LEFT IN WALES

This is the kind of energy Americans need to take into November

hatesuneenjoyer:

hrtmonitor:

yall gotta remember when cracking eggs that the new chick WILL imprint on you. she might confuse it as a crush but you are her mom now sorry

i forgot what eggs are in trans terms for a minute and was so confused as to why a baby chick would have a crush on me

cadaverousdecay:

🦇 fagnsfangs Follow

i dont want to start anything but @castlecrypttt has had the same familiar for 20 years and i dont think she ever intends to turn it…

🧛‍♀️ castlecrypttt Follow

“i dont want to start anything” then why did you @ me you braindead fuck?? willie has been with my family for so long because its his choice. he doesnt even want to be a vampire he enjoys being a familiar. and we take care of him, we give him as many flies and spiders and rats as his little heart desires. all you snobbish vampires who look down on having familiars dont seem to realize that its not a one way relationship. he helps us with our vampire needs and in return we protect him and give him lives. he’s going to live far longer than whatever his normal human lifespan wouldve been, 20 years is nothing. and hes part of the family. keep out of our business you clearly dont understand

🩸 bloody-bloody-marie Follow

oh my g*d i cant believe there are still vampires on this site defending keeping familiars.

🧛‍♂️ fresh-blood Follow

genuine question, whats wrong with having a familiar?

🩸 bloody-bloody-marie Follow

are you seriously asking me about the ethics of keeping an enthralled servant that you force into doing your bidding…

🦇 fagnsfangs Follow

op here, i think youre seriously misunderstanding the concept of familiars. a lot of humans would love to have the opportunity to become vampires in exchange for a few years of servitude. the issue lies in when the familiar is promised vampirism and yet never gets it. and no, vampires shouldnt be using thralls to get their familiar to do its job.

🕷 blood-is-the-life Follow

familiar here, and no. i dont really care about becoming a vampire. that was never in the deal i had with my master. but yeah, do agree thralls shouldnt be used unless the familiar is okay with it

🧛‍♂️ vampire-guy-steve Follow

if you dont want to become a vampire then whats the point of being a familiar?

🕷 blood-is-the-life Follow

well for me its a sex thing.

pfaugh:

stevviefox:

seymour-butz-stuff:

kaelio:

Saying “voting doesn’t matter” might reach your younger peers online but it certainly hasn’t reached Clangus Hargbarg who was part of the kkk in 1951 and still sends in his ballot. He hasn’t missed a one.

Please register and vote.

takes 2 minutes.

mosslingg:

stychu-stych:

MYERS FAULT!

Couldn’t help myself with putting Leshy in classic tracksuit as a typical “osiedlowy dresik"🤌 modern au but I stole Leshy for being polish silly bully just because I can

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH 🏳️‍🌈

POLISH LESHY POLISH LESHY POLISH LESHY

k4ychiko:

thebusytypewriter:

…has this been done yet

Get microwaved idiot

shinewerst:

Aaghgtgfhg he’s so silly I love him so much

naasad:

animate-mush:

jdkaplonski:

shoren18:

damnselfly:

quick protip: if someone is crying or freaking out over something minor, eg wifi not connecting, can’t find their hat, people talking too loud, do NOT tell them how small or petty the problem is to make it better. they know. they would probably love to calm down. you are doing the furthest possible thing from helping. people don’t have to earn expressions of feelings.

I’m just gonna put it out there that if someone’s freaking about something small, they’re really freaking out about something big that they’re trying to deal with, or something long term that’s been building up, and that little thing is the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I don’t know, try and give people the benefit of the doubt. Don’t be the next straw on their broken back.

Needed this today.

People don’t actually go from 0 to 60. If you think they did, you have failed to notice how long they’ve been at 59.

People don’t actually go from 0 to 60. If you think they did, you have failed to notice how long they’ve been at 59.

progamreli:

bigandretired-deactivated202501:

The context makes it even better

criptochecca:

cottoncandylesbo:

cikero:

her: you better not be that stupid plus sign when i get there

my additive ass:

bonyassfish:

So many images of transmasc people focus on post-op skinny dudes which isn’t fun when you’re a chubby guy with tiggle biddies tbh

Like you all make jokes about men with big naturals but do you love fat trans men? For bonus points, do you love them even when you don’t wanna fuck them? When you see a guy with big boobs, do you think of him as less of man? Do you expect transmascs who haven’t had top surgery to bind constantly? Are you stuck on the skinny white able bodied dude with a mullet and top surgery scars? Do you recognize that most of us do not look like that, and may not even want to look like that?