June 2024

amethystsoda:

bishonen:

youre not yaoiful at all

kardds-arts:

depsidase:

i love this picture so much i drew it too

biracy:

bibyebae:

[ID: A set of five infographics. The first is titled “Include Sudan, Congo, Tigray, and Haiti in your activism. Include Black lives” and has an illustration of three Black people, all with red hearts on both cheeks.

The second is titled “Democratic Republic of the Congo” and says, in bullet points: “People impacted: Over 27 million people need humanitarian assistance. Displacement: More than 7.1 million people are internally displaced due to ongoing conflict. Loss of life: Thousands of lives have been lost due to violence, with specific numbers often unreported. Famine update: Approximately 5.7 million people are experiencing acute food insecurity, with severe malnutrition affecting large populations, particularly children. Health crisis: Ongoing outbreaks of measles, cholera, and Ebola compound the humanitarian needs, with limited access to healthcare worsening the situation (UNICEF, 2024; Crisis Group, 2024).”

The third is titled “Sudan” and says, in bullet points: “People impacted: Approximately 25 million people need humanitarian aid. Displacement: Over 9.2 million people have been displaced, including 6 million internally and 1.4 million who fled to neighboring countries. Loss of life; Thousands have died in the conflict between the Sudanese Armed Forces and the Rapid Support Forces. Famine update: Acute hunger affects one-third of the population, with warnings of potential famine conditions. Health crisis: 65% of the population lacks access to healthcare, and 70-80% of hospitals in conflict areas are non-functional. There have been 9,600 suspected cholera cases, with outbreaks of measles, malaria, and dengue fever reported (VOA 2024, UN News, 2024; OCHA, 2024).”

The fourth is titled “Tigray, Ethiopia” and says, in bullet points: “People impacted: Approximately 5.4 million people need humanitarian assistance. Displacement: OVer 2.6 million people are internally displaced due to the ongoing conflict and drought. Loss of life: Nearly 400 starvation-related deaths have been reported in recent months, with overall casualties from the conflict remaining high. Famine update: Severe food insecurity affects around 3.2 million people, with ongoing aid distribution challenges. Malnutrition rates are critically high, and the risk of famine remains significant if aid is not scaled up. Health crisis: Access to healthcare is severely limited, with many relying on bartering for medicine. There is also a dire shortage of medical supplies and facilities (The New Humanitarian, 2024; Crisis Group, 2024).”

The fifth is titled “Haiti” and says, in bullet points: “People impacted: About 5.5 million people require humanitarian assistance, including 1.6 million with protection needs due to escalating gang violence. Displacement: The number of internally displaced people is significant, though exact figures fluctuate due to ongoing violence. Loss of life: Violence and instability have led to numerous deaths, with specific counts often underreported. Famine update: Acute food insecurity affects a large portion of the population, with access to food disrupted by gang control of key areas. Health Crisis: The health system is overwhelmed, with shortages of medical supplies and personnel. The resurgence of cholera and other diseases poses a major health threat (UN News, 2024; OCHA, 2024).”

End ID]

mostnormalthing-deactivated2024:

i sit in a room blindfolded. scientists hold up cards with various characters without telling me what the character is or indicating that the card exists, and i respond with “smash” or “pass”. my answers are used to write a program in pure binary which ends up compiling into a perfect copy of team fortress 2

valtsv:

showing my blood places it’s never seen before!

1. the world outside my body

2. hhopital

official-linguistics-post:

rotzaprachim:

rotzaprachim:

rotzaprachim:

not only are there no bad languages there are also no bad or annoying dialects

Every dialect you don’t like is a friend you haven’t yet made

everyone who wants to suggest a language that’s actually a bad language. No ❤️

official linguistics post

sangowo-deactivated20210714:

superaquafishy:

ichisbutt:

ally-of-villains:

if you dont ship it then you’re lying

image
image
image
image
image
image
image

the entire staff of the simpsons ships it so you might as well too thats all im sayin man

s3znl-gr3znl:

Tch, you’re pretty good. But once I’ve memorized your attack pattern, we’re making out sloppy style

correllian:

kitkatpancakestack:

Can we start writing out the full titles of things again pls like some of the shows y'all talk about sound so interesting fr but then you start abbreviating and shit like “man I love hgtysbks” and “you gotta go watch abcdefgh” like girl. First of all gesundheit second of all What am I supposed to do with that What does that mean!!!!

aptronyms:

virtualgirladvance:

useless-englandfacts:

J K Rowling dares police to arrest her as new hate crime laws come into force in ScotlandALT

obvs acab but the scottish police force have the chance to do the funniest thing right now

mortalityplays:

looks like I need to be explicit again: terfs and transphobes are not welcome here. this is a truly madly deeply enthusiastically pro-trans and especially pro-transfem blog. my femininity has 1000x more in common with trans women than it will ever have with any vision of womanhood that depends on medicalisation, body fascism and despair, and my masculinity is informed by the warmth, kindness and vulnerability of all the best cis men I’ve had the fortune to know. there is nothing interesting about your martyrdom or your misery. get over it and, until you do, get off my posts.

bleeding-seraphic:

prev // Part Four // next

Please we need more leshy and cat for the soulmate string au.

bleeding-seraphic:

Ask and ye shall receive

bleeding-seraphic:

here have this

no-place-for-strange-birds:

pieceofcandycorn:

acitybythelightunited:

…you have too much time on your …HANDS.

what compelled you to do this

Humans have been compelled to do this for thousands of years

correctopinionhaver:

shinolavolume1-deactivated20240:

Everyones like oh i wish i had horns or wings or a tail but nobodys wishing for a long creepy finger. except me

A snail please?

liongrl321:

katlyntheartist:

S N E L

valtsv:

valtsv:

it does kind of slaughter me a little bit every time i’m reminded of how near-universally associated slenderman is with the phrase “collect my pages” when the fundamental conceit of the game being referenced is that slenderman will hunt you down with murderous intent if you so much as go near his pages

“collect my pages” from the hit indie game “Motherfucker I Will End Your Miserable Life If You Touch My God Damn Pages”

spaghetti-o-fficial:

starlightomatic:

wellthatsjustgreat:

The next time they tell you Americans are “happy” with their employer provided health insurance remember that that “happiness” is fueled by willful ignorance of what the alternatives are really like and fear of losing what little crappy health care they currently have.

Honestly, nevermind the low price, if seeing doctors was this logistically easy I’d have way better health. With adhd/anxiety/depression, seeing doctors is usually just too complicated and takes too much energy to deal with.

^^^ this this this

spaghetti-o-fficial:

starlightomatic:

wellthatsjustgreat:

The next time they tell you Americans are “happy” with their employer provided health insurance remember that that “happiness” is fueled by willful ignorance of what the alternatives are really like and fear of losing what little crappy health care they currently have.

Honestly, nevermind the low price, if seeing doctors was this logistically easy I’d have way better health. With adhd/anxiety/depression, seeing doctors is usually just too complicated and takes too much energy to deal with.

^^^ this this this

pokemonheritageposts:

alittlefallofgay:

comet-sans:

tyridot:

team rocket?? ultimate symbol of solidarity between a gay man and a lesbian

What in God’s name is meowth wearing

He’s their straight friend

Pokemon Heritage Post

triviallytrue:

truth be told i am perfectly fine having a decrepit president, given an administration that seems to work fine and aides to steer him, but “election against a fascist with high school mean girl energy” is the wrong time to have a decrepit candidate

rottenfleshnbones-deactivated20:

i care btw. i care abt the song ur listening to or the bug u saw or how u just got outta the shower or how you’re happily hanging out w ur friends or how ur kinda sad or how good was the meal u just had or ur fav character from an indie game nobody knows or if u chugged down some water. i always will

juliaanoia:

stairset:

I’m sorry but I will never ever use goon as slang for a guy who jacks off a lot or whatever it apparently means now. A goon is a guy in a clown mask and purple tank top who sees a caped crusader swooping down to beat up him and his buddies and yells “IT’S DA FREAKIN’ BAT!” and I will accept nothing else.

This is what I think of when I hear “goons”

juliaanoia:

stairset:

I’m sorry but I will never ever use goon as slang for a guy who jacks off a lot or whatever it apparently means now. A goon is a guy in a clown mask and purple tank top who sees a caped crusader swooping down to beat up him and his buddies and yells “IT’S DA FREAKIN’ BAT!” and I will accept nothing else.

This is what I think of when I hear “goons”

serendipititties:

Ive seen sooo much of “everyone saying kendrick is a better lyricist than taylor is just a misogynist” lately and its so fucking annoying. I have to assume that anyone saying that 1.) Refuses to admit that a black rapper who came from poverty could be in the same league as a rich white pop star and 2.) Hasnt listened to a single song by him. I dont mean ‘hasnt listened to a single song other than the drake disses or humble’ i mean any song period. Taylor cant misogyny mediocre more-album-variants her way out of real world criticism please sit down stop being so unbelievably cracker-centric for 5 fucking minutes

entity56:

artforinfinity:

On my summer grind

Reblogs appreciated <3

[This is a digital painting, not a photo]

THIS IS A FUCKING PAINTING SCROLL BACK

kragehund-est:

kragehund-est:

step one to overcoming social anxiety is to realize that most people kind of suck and their opinion of you is literally worthless

step two is to realize that the people who don’t suck are actually pretty cool with whatever weird stuff you say

dead-dyke:

rotationalsymmetry:

onepunchman:

tami-taylors-hair:

“Mean girls all grow up to be nurses!”

“Mean girls all go into social work!”

“The mean girl to teacher pipeline!”

Y’all, these are just pink collar jobs. The reason you think there’s so many “mean girls” in these fields is because they’re all like 97% women. Of course some of them are gonna be assholes. There’s assholes everywhere.

We get it. Your job isn’t like other girls’ jobs. It’s a cool job.

it’s true that there are some incredibly cruel people in all of these professions.

it’s also true that they all suffer from chronic underpayment, overwork, lack of institutional support, and insane bureaucratic demands that would make them fail the people in their care all the time even if every single one was a saint.

That’s absolutely missing the point.

While those are all “helper” professions and they very much are pink collar (and are underpaid, that’s not an incompatible idea), they’re also ones that involve power over vulnerable people’s lives. (And I’ve only encountered it as a comparison to, say, male bullies becoming cops, it’s not like men aren’t being mentioned here.)

Secretaries/administrative assistants aren’t on that list for a reason. Flight attendants aren’t on that list. Housecleaners aren’t on that list. Receptionists. Customer service representatives. Dental hygienists. The people who style hair or do nails. That’s not a list of pink collar jobs. It’s specifically (pink collar) positions where if you want to abuse people you’re relatively likely to get away with it.

It can both be true that “nurses who care for disabled people need better pay” and “nurses who care for disabled people have a lot of opportunities to abuse their power and that’s something worth talking about.”

Women aren’t immune from treating people badly because they’re women, or because women are underpaid. They’re sure not immune from specifically seeking out jobs that will allow them to be cruel without any consequences to them, if they get personal satisfaction out of being cruel.

You are trying to shut down a conversation about abuse.

Shitty people are attracted to positions of power. That includes working class women!

There have been a lot of studies about hazing and abuse in nursing communities and even murder!

My mother is a nurse, her co-workers sit around laughing about the people who fall out of their wheel chairs, about the nurses who do cry when someone dies, my mother has ignored patients crying out in pain in order to drink her coffee.

My mother has intentionally let elderly patients at her nursing home die. She has abused them and she has laughed about it. She has left people suffering and has caused that suffering.

Nurses are underpaid and they are disrespected as medical professionals who aren’t a doctor. That’s true and we should talk about that, but we can not ignore the fact that violent women seek out these jobs with God Complexes and the intent to do harm.

Sure, that harm might be because they are bitter, over-worked, and disrespected. None the less, it is no different than when a male doctor causes purposeful harm to his patient.

Nurses contribute to eugenics, to patient abuse, elder abuse, and yeah even child abuse (my mother was proficient in all of them!)

Here are some important articles to read:

Nurses Eat Their Young An article about hazing and bullying among nurses. The title comes from a common saying in medical circles, the first time I heard it, it was in reference to my mother’s best friend who had poured coffee over the hands of a new nurse who had reported another nurse to a superior for abusing a patient.

Bullying in Nursing – Why The Hazing is Getting Worse A brief article on forms of hazing.

Nurse hazing: a costly reality

Why do nurses abuse patients? Reflections from South African obstetric services

Patients’ lives being left at mercy of abusive nurses

Every single one of these articles, with exception of the last – which is guardian article – is a professionally published medical article.

cornedbeefhashtags:

5-and-a-half-acres:

This needs a caption

hungryhorsey2:

fibro-memes:

[ID: A screenshot of a tweet by @chronicparent30. It reads:

Chronic illness is weird in that if a healthy person got ill for a week with the symptoms I deal with every single day, they’d likely rest and do the bare minimum for that week. But because my symptoms are forever I’m meant to live life as normal no matter how dreadful I feel.

End ID]

roguebombshell:

psychotic-gerard:

love seeing revisionism in the wild “free the nipple never meant you can walk around topless every where that’s still sexual harassment it just meant for like breastfeeding and stuff”no it literally means you should be able to walk around topless anywhere because get this. breasts aren’t fucking sexual organs.

I remember when I was about 12, I watched a show on TLC that followed people as they got somewhat uncommon medical procedures.

There was one episode with a trans woman getting different gender-affirming operations, including breast implants. It showed the procedure, and (what I found so fascinating that it’s stuck with me for decades), as soon as the doctor put the implant in, a censor blur popped up on the nipple.

And you just know there was a meeting between the TLC lawyers and the editors and producers of the show to discuss what the difference was between a “man nipple” (can be shown) and a “woman nipple” (no no must obscure, ‘tis naughty). And they decided that as soon as the implant goes in and the nipple has more mass behind it, that’s the moment when it becomes a woman’s nipple and must be hidden to comply with TV rules.

But it’s the same nipple. On the same person. I know what it looks like; I just saw it. But TV and obscenity rules are rules, and the rules say woman nipple = sexual and therefore explicit, but man nipple = neutral, just fine.

“Free the Nipple” was calling out arbitrary bullshit like that, because someone just existing with their body parts should not be considered obscene, and the double standard that men can be topless but women can’t is so blatantly ridiculous. All nipples are just nipples. If you get turned on or bothered by them, that’s on you.

cryptotheism:

cryptotheism:

cryptotheism:

the 18th century is fun bc a bunch of guys are trying to make science, but the only material they have to work with was written by the clerical class and straight up wizards.

So you get people like Francis Bacon being like “these Renaissance occultists were charlatans and fabulists. Astrology is real though.”

Newton: “I will simply test every alchemical manual in a laboratory setting one by one. Eventually we will figure out what works. Also I think we can make a human nervous system out of braided gold.”

afloweroutofstone:

afloweroutofstone:

The Supreme Court just ruled that 1) criminalizing homelessness is OK and 2) the Chevron Deference doctrine is over. It’s hard to explain why, but believe it or not the second decision is going to have a far larger, far worse effect. The Chevron deference doctrine has been one of the foundations of the regulatory state for 40 years, and eliminating it gives the courts dramatically more power to interfere with regulations made by the government. Any and all regulations

Kagan’s dissent:

cannibalchicken:

evilscientist3:

anyotherstar:

evilscientist3:

Trying to get a glass of water but i cant. The water goes up

What do you mean the water goes up

It goes up.

what-even-is-thiss:

what-even-is-thiss:

what-even-is-thiss:

I play fallout games as a man looking to avoid processing his trauma by wandering the wasteland

New Vegas, 3, and 4 all start with an incredibly traumatic event so I roleplay as a man who thinks that the ptsd can’t catch up to him if he doesn’t stop walking

Shot in the head and buried alive by a casino owner? Rushed out of the only home you’ve ever known as your friends try to kill you? Watch your home get destroyed, your spouse killed, and your son kidnapped? No worries! Try: running! The thoughts can’t run that fast! Just keep moving and they won’t set in!

(Warning: Do not try this at home)

thoodleoo:

this is so fucking funny to me. who wants to join the ancient athenian evil dining club with me

incendavery:

a message from squirrel

roach-works:

lavitts:

the-unseelie-court-official:

the-unseelie-court-official:

You know that post about how angels and telephone towers are biologically compatible? That’s how I feel about overgrown plants and industrial machines.

These two things can and SHOULD make offspring.

Do you WANT kudzu cables?

Do you WANT invasive machinery to bury your city?

Do you WANT to be entombed in wires until you can’t tell where “you” end and “we” begin?

yes. reblog

moniquill:

nope-the-weeb-deactivated202408:

dufferpuffer:

silvergryphonart:

askinfresh:

boreal-sea:

nope-the-weeb-deactivated202408:

boreal-sea:

I really think everyone needs to truly internalize this:

Fictional characters are objects.

They are not people. You cannot “objectify” them, because they have no personhood to be deprived of. They have no humanity to be erased. You cannot “disrespect” them, because they are not real.

I know this has good intentions, so I will just add the “how you treat them, even as objects of fiction, can speak about your own character, be careful out there”

Your addition is actually completely antithetical to my message. It is literally the opposite of what I am conveying.

Stop telling people to encourage the cop inside their head.

How you treat fictional characters, given they are entirely objects of fiction, does NOT necessarily speak to your own character, and you do not need to be “careful”.

It is not dangerous to imagine dark things happening to fictional characters. It does not mean you are secretly a bad person. It does not mean you unconsciously want to hurt people in real life. It is not a “slippery slope” to doing bad things to people in real life. You cannot damage your brain or turn yourself into a bad person by consuming “dark” fanfic.

I can write tentacle noncon of my favorite character all day long and be a fierce anti-sexual assault advocate in real life because what I do in my head is not the same thing as what I do in real life.

These tags were too perfect to not include

One thing that might help clarify it: in any fiction, no matter how dark, every real person involved is consenting.

The author and the audience are both choosing to be there and can revoke their consent at any point by putting the book down. The characters are not real, they are not being asked to make a choice because they have no ability to choose, but you do and you can leave at any time, for any reason. In most cases you as the author or audience also have context that tells you things will turn out alright in the end, or a reason to think they shouldn’t for this character. All the real people involved can expect a satisfying ending, and are not at any point being kept captive in a situation that will harm them.

Your ability to choose what fiction you take part in is a powerful thing, and you’re not doing yourself any favours by believing that doesn’t matter. If you don’t like it, sincerely, you don’t have to be there. Others who do like it are making their own choices, and those choices are separate from what they want to do in real life.

I will never get over the fucking gall of the second person in this chain, coming in and saying something so… utterly tone-deaf.
To like a terrifying extent. Not only in general, but on THAT post.

With the juicy little ‘I know this has good intentions’ too, WOW.
Passive aggressive holier-than-thou… and then their message is 'I will judge you for how you play with your building blocks’ jesus christ

What do they even mean by 'careful’…? Is that a threat?

hi, second person here - I’ll admit, not my best take (in fact, I leave it up because I learned a lot from the responses lol).

'passive aggressive holier-than-thou’ hurts but yeah..
I truly thought I was super clever for thinking about the framing of characters while still agreeing that they cannot be objectified.
This was also wrong - you can frame your characters and their interactions however you want and this does not say anything about your character.

putting this not as a response but as clarification and possibly entertainment to prev if they haven’t blocked me

I’m reblogging this version because I feel it’s important to know that @nope-the-weeb grew from this. It’s important to remember that someone’s bad takes are not their entire being. People grow.

moniquill:

nope-the-weeb-deactivated202408:

dufferpuffer:

silvergryphonart:

askinfresh:

boreal-sea:

nope-the-weeb-deactivated202408:

boreal-sea:

I really think everyone needs to truly internalize this:

Fictional characters are objects.

They are not people. You cannot “objectify” them, because they have no personhood to be deprived of. They have no humanity to be erased. You cannot “disrespect” them, because they are not real.

I know this has good intentions, so I will just add the “how you treat them, even as objects of fiction, can speak about your own character, be careful out there”

Your addition is actually completely antithetical to my message. It is literally the opposite of what I am conveying.

Stop telling people to encourage the cop inside their head.

How you treat fictional characters, given they are entirely objects of fiction, does NOT necessarily speak to your own character, and you do not need to be “careful”.

It is not dangerous to imagine dark things happening to fictional characters. It does not mean you are secretly a bad person. It does not mean you unconsciously want to hurt people in real life. It is not a “slippery slope” to doing bad things to people in real life. You cannot damage your brain or turn yourself into a bad person by consuming “dark” fanfic.

I can write tentacle noncon of my favorite character all day long and be a fierce anti-sexual assault advocate in real life because what I do in my head is not the same thing as what I do in real life.

These tags were too perfect to not include

One thing that might help clarify it: in any fiction, no matter how dark, every real person involved is consenting.

The author and the audience are both choosing to be there and can revoke their consent at any point by putting the book down. The characters are not real, they are not being asked to make a choice because they have no ability to choose, but you do and you can leave at any time, for any reason. In most cases you as the author or audience also have context that tells you things will turn out alright in the end, or a reason to think they shouldn’t for this character. All the real people involved can expect a satisfying ending, and are not at any point being kept captive in a situation that will harm them.

Your ability to choose what fiction you take part in is a powerful thing, and you’re not doing yourself any favours by believing that doesn’t matter. If you don’t like it, sincerely, you don’t have to be there. Others who do like it are making their own choices, and those choices are separate from what they want to do in real life.

I will never get over the fucking gall of the second person in this chain, coming in and saying something so… utterly tone-deaf.
To like a terrifying extent. Not only in general, but on THAT post.

With the juicy little ‘I know this has good intentions’ too, WOW.
Passive aggressive holier-than-thou… and then their message is 'I will judge you for how you play with your building blocks’ jesus christ

What do they even mean by 'careful’…? Is that a threat?

hi, second person here - I’ll admit, not my best take (in fact, I leave it up because I learned a lot from the responses lol).

'passive aggressive holier-than-thou’ hurts but yeah..
I truly thought I was super clever for thinking about the framing of characters while still agreeing that they cannot be objectified.
This was also wrong - you can frame your characters and their interactions however you want and this does not say anything about your character.

putting this not as a response but as clarification and possibly entertainment to prev if they haven’t blocked me

I’m reblogging this version because I feel it’s important to know that @nope-the-weeb grew from this. It’s important to remember that someone’s bad takes are not their entire being. People grow.

derinthescarletpescatarian:

glumshoe:

b00k-freak:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

When I studied abroad, I thought my host family just had difficulty pronouncing my name. They didn’t try very hard before deciding that they’d just call me Brahim and be done with it.

This kept happening no matter where I went in Morocco. Even fluent English speakers decided to give me alternative names, and I just shrugged it off as the consequence of one of the syllables being very unusual in Arabic.

That is, until one day I was talking to a shopkeeper in the souk and he asked me my name. I gave him my English one, and explained that I also answer to Brahim (and Daud, and… more than I can remember). He laughed hysterically and looked shocked, calling his friend over from the back of the shop.

“Tell him your name,” he said excitedly. I did so.

The other man’s face cycled through several expressions very quickly—surprise, anger, suspicion, and then exasperation when he realized his friend had set me up.

They very kindly explained to me that my name spoken with a Moroccan accent sounds very much like an Arabic profanity, and that I should definitely introduce myself as Brahim or give an alternative English name when meeting new people, because shaking hands with strangers and saying “Hello, I’m Fuck Your Mother’s Religion” is not a greeting that will win me many friends.

So. Brahim it was.

Another fun story: when I forgot the word for “egg” during dinner and attempted to compliment my host mother’s soft-boiled “Ibn Al-Dajaj”.

Son of the chicken.

When I was working at a Thai restaurant one summer I heard the guys in the kitchen talk/yelling (it’s a kitchen, so… loud) and I thought I heard my name so I stuck my head through the door and asked if they’d called me, and they all stopped and stared for a really long moment and then started laughing like crazy. Turns out my name sounds exactly like the Thai word for garbage.

Language barriers: a source of unlimited hilarity since the evolution of vocal cords.

I had an American friend who worked as a doctor in Saudi Arabia for awhile and apparently one of his coworkers (also American) kept getting referred to as “Dr [surname]” by their coworkers. Everyone else was called by their first name. Turned out his first name essentially meant “fuck you” in Arabic and nobody was comfortable yelling it across a hospital.

arrowheadedbitch:

arrowheadedbitch:

draconym:

cyborgrabbit:

draconym:

draconym:

draconym:

draconym:

As a nonbinary person it feels uncomfortable when strangers perceive my partner and I as a straight couple,

But it’s hilarious to me when they perceive us as father and son.

“Does he have his own luggage?” the agent behind the check-in desk asks brightly, making eye contact with my partner.

“Just carry-on,” I say as I slide my driver’s license across the counter toward her. Confusion dawns on her face. She glances up at me briefly before printing my boarding pass in silence.

“A soap making booth!” I exclaim. I’ve been to the renaissance faire a dozen times but I’ve never visited this shop. “Let’s make soap!”

“First you have to ask your Responsible Adult for five dollars,” says the vendor in a measured, singsong voice, and wags her index finger at me.

I look around, confused. Who is she talking about? Does she mean the young man trailing behind me? I turn back to her.

“I have five dollars …”

“Well you still have to ask him,” she smiles sweetly.

As I open my mouth to ask why, I suddenly realize she has misjudged my age by at least two decades.

“I’m older than he is,” is all I can think of to say.

“Would you like a children’s menu?”

“Sure, and if you’re taking drink orders, I could also go for a Corona.”

Hey op?

HOW???

I’m short

This is like that tiktok about the grown woman accidentally being kidnapped by a middle school bus driver lol

So glad I have tits so this can’t happen to me 🙏 because I KNOW if I was flat chested, this would be me, but THANK GOD, I get to at least look 16

theshitpostcalligrapher:

official-torfmoor:

theaudientvoid:

Concept: in a setting where vampires exist and can only be harmed by symbols of faith (crucifixes, etc.), a James Randi-style skeptic/supernatural debunker witnesses his family murdered by vampires, and dedicated his life to hunting down what he believes are a cabal of ordinary serial killers with a blood fetish and some cheap plastic fangs. They die when he shoots them with an ordinary gun, granted holy status by the sheer force of his belief that they are actually just ordinary humans who will die when shot.

The reason the sun burns vampires is that all the plants worship it.

love this

runs up to you and eats your stupod flower possibly also eating your hand in the process…

skeletoninthemelonland:

ow- YOU

SPIT IT OUT !!!!!