I saw a deer rotting away on the side of the road, ribcage gaping open, sternum shattered, sagging leathery skin shedding coarse hair as decomposition sets in. Eyes and entrails long since pecked out by crows and vultures, the doe lay blind and empty, her cranium chewed open and cleaned out by reverent coyotes. Crawling with maggots and worms, she writhes.
Wildflowers bloomed tall around her, cushioning her corpse in a bed of milkweed and aster, wild lily and strawberry bursting through her drying skin and out through the cavernous hole in her body. Wasps and horseflies drink the nectar flavoured by her body, dripping sweet onto her ribcage.
A violent death unto peaceful sleep, bones crushed like brittle eggshell by steel alloy, whiplash and internal hemorrhaging as she stumbles forward and collapses into the cold ditch by the asphalt, gasping and twitching as her lungs filled with blood, shards of her ribcage puncturing her lungs, struggling to take a full breath as spots grew larger in her vision. Twin headlights barreled on, uninterrupted and uncaring as she lay dying in the ditch, the taillights of the departing vehicle bathing her in red light as it leaves. There are no other cars in the road.
Scavengers bowed their heads to her memory as they filled their stomachs with her body, gorging themselves on cold offal, worshipful as they licked congealed blood off the ground. A necessary sacrifice to the good of the many; her agony sustains them. They don’t know anything else. She sleeps, quiet and alone, in the ditch by the road, as she decomposes. Her eyes, plucked from their sockets by hungry birds to be fed to their hungry chicks, no longer saw; she slept in peaceful darkness.
I wondered what she dreamed about. I wondered if she could still see, in her mind’s eye, the life she dreamed of. I wondered if all she could see anymore was the wriggling of maggots in her skull.
I wondered if the deer on the side of the road left behind a herd, maybe a fawn, waiting patiently, nestled in tall grasses, for its mother to return. I wondered if it, too, had fallen prey to the great metal maw of a passing vehicle as it, hungry and cold, searched for its mother. I hoped not, but I know better; deer don’t often practice crèches.
I felt kinship with her, in a way, a deer left for dead next to the country highway, carved out empty and left gaping. I saw myself in her in the way she died alone, ignored, rotting from the inside out as cars passed by, the way she was vulnerable, defenseless; she had no way to defend herself against her fate. The scales were tipped against her, the battle lost as soon as she took her first step onto cracked asphalt, doomed beyond her own comprehension and her killer’s capacity to care. She had no antlers to defend herself. She didn’t stand a chance.
A faceless figure in a nondescript truck, anonymous in the atrocity of death, with no witnesses and no guilt for what they had done. Perhaps I’d already passed them on the street. Perhaps I’d already wished them a good morning. Perhaps I’d done the same with others.
It was almost comforting, in a way, to see such a visceral and grotesque representation of myself, flayed open snd hollowed out and left to rot. It reminded me there were others like me, even if they were roadkilled deer. In the aftermath of catastrophe, I, too, lay broken and gasping, immobile as I watched the world pass me by, no one stopping to notice my agony. I supposed it wasn’t quite as obvious as that of a deer, trembling and bleeding from the mouth, branded hot in the shape of a car’s front grill. It was confusing, still. It certainly felt more than obvious.
I dreamed of coyote teeth tearing me apart, pulling out my organs as I watched, passive, of vultures picking at my skin, grunting in veneration as they ate me to the bone. I dreamed of crows eating the scraps left behind, pecking at my face and mouth, pulling out my eyes and tongue, rendering me blind and mute. I didn’t mind; I hardly had use for them anyways. I dreamed of dandelion blooms crowding my airways, airborne seeds filling my lungs until I choked, and growing from my body again.
I dreamed of love, of prostration and black birds bowed in supplication, owing me their lives, surviving at the price of mine. I dreamed of love, of sickly sweet devotion, like the smell of decay. I dreamed of love, of poisonous butterflies drinking down the nectar of my body’s wildflowers, of dangerous beauty. In my dream, I watched the jays snap up those sweet butterflies, bright wings crunching and shredding within the predator’s beak, only for the eaten nymph to reappear as its bitter poison burns the jay’s oesophagus, vomiting up the offensive prey. The butterfly is not saved. The butterfly is still dead, half-digested and broken in a small puddle of the bird’s mucous, but the jay learns; the butterfly’s death prevents others.
I dreamed of love, like the coyote and the badger that found my corpse one night, forty million years of evolution between the two, but perfect teamwork nonetheless. The two arrived together and left together after they’d had their fill of my lungs and heart. I wished them well on their journey and waited for the next scavenger to find me.
I hoped the deer on the side of the road found the same peace in death as I had. I hoped she found her closure in the scavengers who worshipped her. I hoped the faceless figure in that nondescript truck faced their retribution and I hoped the faceless figure in my hazy memories faced the Old Testament judgement I so wished.
As I accepted the deer into myself, let the shape of her rotting body brand itself on my mind (reminiscent, almost, of the brand of a car’s front grill on her flank), I felt her dreams assimilate with my own. I felt, suddenly, the desire to walk along country highways in the dark, the desire to know what waits on the other side of the road, the desperation so strong that I couldn’t stand to wait for the rumbling beast to pass. I felt the awe of staring into blinding light, larger than me and near incomprehensible. I understood why deer stopped in the middle of the road. I’m sure anyone else would, too. The first contact of the car’s front grill to her (my) body felt something like love, like the embrace of the only one who could stand to have me.
I thought about the crows that picked off the smaller pieces of flesh missed by the larger scavengers. I thought about the sweet adoration between two black birds as they passed my eyeball to their mate, the pure devotion between them as they preened one another, beaks coated in congealed blood. Their love is a living thing, a separate entity, powerful and writhing. It occupies the crows entirely, not unlike parasitism. Their chicks will grow from my scavenged flesh, insatiable, fledging for the first time above my drying skeleton. To fly had always been a dream of mine, and now it is actualized by those young black birds, fulfilled as they hop unsteadily from branch to branch, their parents watching over them protectively. How lucky I am to witness this. How lucky I am to learn, firsthand, the depth of that love, the endlessness of life, how it begins again, and again, and again.
Reminds me a bit of “Une charogne” by Baudelaire. Beautifully written :)
being compared to beaudelaire is so incredible tysm 😭
I know this is my own post, but every single time this comes across my dash I am delighted. Every single time, I re-watch the video and laugh, and then scroll down and laugh more. What a truly excellent reblog chain.
learning to ride a bike has me very aware of how weirdly flexible the human motor control system is. like…when you move your body, you dont express a will to move your hand in such and such a position or whatever, you just express a will to catch the ball or whatever the specific task is, and your body does it (or fails to). and sure, this makes sense, it would be overwhelming managing your body all the time. but the thing is, after an honestly pretty small amount of practice, controlling a vehicle works the same way! you dont express “press the pedal down slightly harder” you just express “go faster”, you dont express “turn the handle bar slightly” you just express “turn, at this particular angle”. i guess this happens with computers too to an extent, although you interact with a higher variety of interfaces, so you usually dont get any more elaborate than “click that point” or “type those letters” in terms of innately thought actions. although keyboard commands can enter your direct-thought actions, where you dont think “type ctrl-z” you just think “undo” and it is (un)done. idk, you can imagine an organism with less flexibility to “merge” psychologically with its tools, which always thinks of the tool-actions it performs in terms of the body-actions which cause those tool-actions, rather than the tool-acts directly.
There is a huge media blackout about this. Maybe it’s not that noticeable because people are still talking about Gaza, but it’s there because No one is talking about the Famine. Because right now it’s Israel’s strongest weapon in the shadows.
The famine reached a lethal level that is killing children at a rate racing the bombings
I don’t which is worse, a child torn to pieces but at least dies in a second, or a child starving to death thoughtout weeks.
Tree leaves are being sold as food! And some don’t even have the money to buy them.
Please, Try and intensify the media pressure about Gaza and the famine in Gaza.
I’ve been reading so much about rabies and cats and there are so few cat owners who keep their cats up to date on rabies vaccinations and buds please keep your kitty’s jabs up-to-date and please please please keep your cats inside and please treat any cat with an unknown vaccination history as a wild animal and don’t try to touch it or pet it or catch it.
The most recent survivor of the Milwaukee protocol is an 8 year old girl who contacted rabies through scratches from feral cats that lived in a colony at her school.
Don’t touch strange cats even if they’re friendly, and teach your kids not to touch strange cats either. (For that matter teach your kids not to touch strange dogs either, but decades of stray eradication and mandatory vaccines means that the US is one of the few places in the world where cats are more likely to be rabid than dogs)
Also did you know that there’s one case of transplant-acquired rabies recorded in the US? The recipient got a kidney from a donor who died in an accident and nobody was aware the donor had rabies. The recipient died of rabies, which is a bit of an extreme flavor of graft failure if you ask me. Terrifying!
Anyway. If you, too, want to have nightmares about rabies you can search my website (www.ms-demeanor.com) for “keep your fucking cat indoors” and scroll to the section on rabies and read some nightmare fuel (like the case report on the family that moved across 3 states with their 13 barn cats, unaware that one was incubating rabies).
Did you know that in 1994, 665 people in New Hampshire had to be given post exposure prophylaxis for rabies because of one infected kitten that had contact with a racoon before being brought to a pet store?
The only way animals are tested for rabies is to examine their brain tissue. The animal is killed in order to do this. If your pet is exposed to rabies they stand a much, much, much better chance of being quarantined instead of being euthanized for testing if you have kept their vaccinations current.
Please keep your pets’ vaccinations up to date, and please keep your cat indoors. There’s a risk of exposure even for indoor cats, so make sure they’ve got their shots.
Hi, I’m an Australian living in Ireland. I’ve never lived in a country that has rabies. Keep your cats indoors.
Even in countries that don’t have rabies there’s FIV, FeLV, panleukopaenia, dogs, and fucking cars. Even in countries that don’t have rabies, outdoor cats kill wildlife at a devastating pace without you even knowing about it. Even in countries without rabies, cats displace native small carnivores. Even in countries without rabies, displacement by and/or interbreeding with domestic cats drives native wildcat species to extinction. Even in countries without rabies, other carnivores opportunistically prey on cats. Even in countries without rabies, so-called working cats kill more wildlife than they do mice and rats. Even in countries without rabies cats can get lost or severely injured or kidnapped or go feral. Even in countries without rabies the average lifespan of an outdoor cat is about 3 years vs about 15 indoors.
Hope this helps :)
The person who made these tags lived in Scotland, which is home to a critically endangered wildcat that is susceptible to diseases spread by domestic cats that are allowed to roam, so in this case domestic cats are an even more direct threat to native small predators than usual.
I’ve been reading so much about rabies and cats and there are so few cat owners who keep their cats up to date on rabies vaccinations and buds please keep your kitty’s jabs up-to-date and please please please keep your cats inside and please treat any cat with an unknown vaccination history as a wild animal and don’t try to touch it or pet it or catch it.
The most recent survivor of the Milwaukee protocol is an 8 year old girl who contacted rabies through scratches from feral cats that lived in a colony at her school.
Don’t touch strange cats even if they’re friendly, and teach your kids not to touch strange cats either. (For that matter teach your kids not to touch strange dogs either, but decades of stray eradication and mandatory vaccines means that the US is one of the few places in the world where cats are more likely to be rabid than dogs)
Also did you know that there’s one case of transplant-acquired rabies recorded in the US? The recipient got a kidney from a donor who died in an accident and nobody was aware the donor had rabies. The recipient died of rabies, which is a bit of an extreme flavor of graft failure if you ask me. Terrifying!
Anyway. If you, too, want to have nightmares about rabies you can search my website (www.ms-demeanor.com) for “keep your fucking cat indoors” and scroll to the section on rabies and read some nightmare fuel (like the case report on the family that moved across 3 states with their 13 barn cats, unaware that one was incubating rabies).
Did you know that in 1994, 665 people in New Hampshire had to be given post exposure prophylaxis for rabies because of one infected kitten that had contact with a racoon before being brought to a pet store?
The only way animals are tested for rabies is to examine their brain tissue. The animal is killed in order to do this. If your pet is exposed to rabies they stand a much, much, much better chance of being quarantined instead of being euthanized for testing if you have kept their vaccinations current.
Please keep your pets’ vaccinations up to date, and please keep your cat indoors. There’s a risk of exposure even for indoor cats, so make sure they’ve got their shots.
Hi, I’m an Australian living in Ireland. I’ve never lived in a country that has rabies. Keep your cats indoors.
Even in countries that don’t have rabies there’s FIV, FeLV, panleukopaenia, dogs, and fucking cars. Even in countries that don’t have rabies, outdoor cats kill wildlife at a devastating pace without you even knowing about it. Even in countries without rabies, cats displace native small carnivores. Even in countries without rabies, displacement by and/or interbreeding with domestic cats drives native wildcat species to extinction. Even in countries without rabies, other carnivores opportunistically prey on cats. Even in countries without rabies, so-called working cats kill more wildlife than they do mice and rats. Even in countries without rabies cats can get lost or severely injured or kidnapped or go feral. Even in countries without rabies the average lifespan of an outdoor cat is about 3 years vs about 15 indoors.
Hope this helps :)
The person who made these tags lived in Scotland, which is home to a critically endangered wildcat that is susceptible to diseases spread by domestic cats that are allowed to roam, so in this case domestic cats are an even more direct threat to native small predators than usual.
Stop for a while. do not cross . My name is Amna from Gaza. We lost everything, home, dreams, and everything that gives life. My children are living in bad conditions. I ask you to help me for the sake of my children, for the sake of humanity. Those who cannot donate can share the post and link
I needed this drag. Let’s change guys and not look back
working out your brain is a must!!
• hydrate it by drinking lots of water
• eat dark chocolate and blueberries and walnuts and salmon and other foods high in antioxidants!!
• play little brain games on your phone; I like wordconenct! anything that makes you think!
• read books. It’s simple but necessary. Even better - join a book club, or read with a friend, so you can have discussions after. This will improve your reading comprehension.
• do puzzles - it doesnt have to be sudoku, I love playing Beat Saber on the Oculus Rift because it makes my brain have to match colorful patterns to physical movements very quickly!
• learn a new dance - even a tik tok trendy dance. Learning new dance moves are proven to strengthen synapses!!
• go bird watching, or foraging, or anything outdoors that requires you to explore pattern recognition and visual searching
• watch a movie with the intent of analysis - this is best done with a cinephile friend!! talk about tropes and symbolism and character growth
• cross stitch, or sew, or do anything that requires matching nimble hand movements to patterns
• play or learn an instrument!
• develop a consistent sleep schedule (or as close to consistent as you can get!)
• when eating, try to identify the ingredients and flavors you’re perceiving!
I hope this helps :)
I like how this went from me feeling like “hm why is this attacking me 🤨” at first, but feeling grateful seeing an added guide on a genuine expansion on a “ how to” work out the brain. This genuinely helps a bunch. People find solace in doing activities that get them through life by doing said activities of phone/tv or if that’s all they’ve ever known in their life to get them through things + etc tho. However, this was very impt to point out. Slowly beginning incorporating things to work the brain in ones own time.
how do we feel about a cis girl using he/him pronouns
n. noted,,
Pronouns are a part of your gender presentation just like clothes or what name you like to use. Some people prefer to use a gender neutral variant of their name, some people like to crossdress, some people like to use pronouns unconventional for their gender. Do what you want forever.
Wait what’s a buildings fire evacuation plan if you aren’t supposed to use the elevator to get down
You go down the stairwell/fire escape. Is that weird?
But what if you have a walker or a wheelchair??
in america at least, in this situation, there isnt one. either your loved ones or the firemen can get you out using the emergency fire escapes or stairs, or you die
That’s fucking horrific, thank you
“fun” little story:
last summer my friend who is an amazingly talented artist and i were in this super tall building, and she’s in a wheelchair and i’m pushing her around the room. it’s an art exhibit and some of her art was chosen to be showcased there and so it’s all fine and dandy until suddenly an alarm starts going off
a FIRE ALARM
everyone starts running for the stairs and my friend just looks at me with this forlorn look on her face
“i can’t go down the stairs”
but i’m a stubborn bitch “i’ll carry you”
“what about my chair? it’s too expensive for me to be able to get another one if i can’t get this one back”
“i’ll carry that too”
and i did. we went to the stairs (by then most people from our floor were gone) and i lifted her up in a fireman’s carry over my shoulder and then lifted her chair up and used the ridiculous amount of adrenaline that was coursing through my veins to make it down approximately 20 half-flights of stairs until we met some people exiting lower floors, one of which who kindly took the chair. I changed positions so i was holding my friend bridal-style which was, somehow, easier and the person who took her wheelchair (with her permission to handle it of course) accompanied me to the ground floor and then out the doors
basically there is no real protocol for people who can’t use the stairs in an emergency. it’s up to the people with them, if anyone, to help them or the person to somehow make it down the stairs alone, unassisted
thank fuck that it was just a faulty alarm system, because if i was unable to carry her down those stairs and the building was on fucking fire???? then i don’t know what would have happened to her, but i don’t think it would have been very good.
it’s fucking ridiculous and ableist to the absolute max.
I use a cane. When I did a day-long fire safety training at my northeast American university (UMass Amherst), I asked that exact same question: “what am I supposed to do if the fire alarm goes off and I’m in my lab on the twelfth floor?”
the fire marshal hemmed and hawed for a while and then said to take the elevator- you’re supposed to leave it free for the fire department to use and they want able-bodied people out fast not waiting for elevators. if the fire alarm has just gone off the building probably hasn’t suffered enough structural damage to make using the elevator dangerous, and modern elevator wells are heavily reinforced. many large and high-trafficked buildings on my campus have fire rated elevators that link in with the fire alarm system so they won’t let you off on a floor with a possible fire.
if the elevator isn’t working, wait in the stairwell and call the fire department to let them know where you are. modern stairwells are also heavily reinforced- it might not be pleasant but modern building code usually requires fire-resistant stairwell doors in office and big residential buildings, also to help firefighters get in and out safely. older buildings’ stairwells may or may not be retrofitted with fire-resistant doors but a stairwell is generally the safest place to wait if you can’t get out.
what happened to your friend was horrible, and i’m very glad you were there to help her out, but you can absolutely use the elevator to evacuate if it’s not shut down. those don’t-use-the-elevator rules are for abled people.
This is GOOD TO KNOW. why do they not tell people this??
Okay, firefighter here. If you are not physically able to use the stairs, and the elevator is NOT compromised, use the elevator. But you MUST be ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that the elevator is NOT compromised before you get into it, because there is always the chance that once you get into it, you may not exit it. Power could go out. The elevator may actually BE compromised and you just couldn’t tell from where you were until you were in there, and it suddenly shuts down on you. Something else could happen.
Understand that once you enter the elevator, you could POTENTIALLY be taking your life into your hands there.
It is NOT LIKELY, to be perfectly honest. It’s only in a pretty catastrophic scenario - think the Twin Towers, USA, on September 11th - that the elevators will be compromised and out of service. But there is a NOT ZERO PERCENT CHANCE and you need to understand that and accept it.
As for leaving the elevators free for the firefighters, okay, here’s the deal. Unless your nearest fire station is literally right next door? Your first on scene fire truck is NOT likely to be there on scene and needing that elevator before you get to the ground. It takes us TIME to find the address, gear up, and drive to the building. Then we need to hoof it into where the elevators even ARE, so YOU HAVE TIME to use the elevator to get down to the ground floor… BUT ONLY IF THERE’S NOT A RUSH ON THE ELEVATOR! And THAT is WHY we don’t tell people this shit. That’s WHY we tell people to NEVER USE THE ELEVATOR… because every self-entitled asshole will use it because they don’t feel like walking, and then put YOU in danger by delaying the elevator’s arrival to you.
IF, however, the elevator IS compromised, or you just can’t get it to come for you, or whatever, and you either don’t have anyone with you who has the adrenaline fueled BALLS to be able to toss you over their shoulder and hoof it down the stairs with you - because, let’s face it, that is RARE AS FUCK, then HERE IS WHAT YOU DO:
You call 911 and tell the call taker that you are in the building that has a fire alarm going off, and you are not able to evacuate because of a physical disability, and you tell them what floor you are on, and EXACTLY what stairwell you are waiting at. And the very FIRST thing that the firefighters are going to do once they arrive, if it is, indeed, a REAL emergency, and not a false alarm, is come get your ass and bring you down. Whether that means carrying you down the stairs, or whether that means locking out the elevators so that no one else can override them and coming to get you themselves, they WILL come get you FIRST THING if it is a real event. And if it is a false alarm? You will probably be the first person who is not involved with the building to know, because the call-taker is going to stay on the line with you until you are under someone’s care and out of danger, or until the scene has been sorted out as real or false, and you are out of danger that way.
These are pretty standard operations in the fire service throughout the United States. There may be some minor variations based on specific municipalities, but, for the most part, this is pretty typical: LIFE BEFORE PROPERTY. So, as long as SOMEONE knows where you are - hence why you call 911 - Firefighters will come get you. You are NOT alone, and you have NOT been abandoned. I PROMISE. It’s like, our whole reason for doing the shit we do: to save lives and to break shit. Sometimes, we get lucky enough to do both at the same time.
High rise fires suck ass, and I always hated them. But the very FIRST thing I asked anytime we got one was if we had “any entrapments” - which is what we call anyone who could not self-evacuate for ANY reason. We ain’t leaving you behind. And yes, your friend who doesn’t have the stamina to carry you down can stay with you, too. Because I would never ask that of someone, honestly.
Also, just a little FYI… MOST fire alarms are false alarms. Not to make anyone complacent or anything, but, yeah. Most of them are either system malfunctions, someone accidentally hit a pull station, or someone burned popcorn in a break room. So don’t let a fire alarm freak you out until you need it to - by smelling or seeing smoke or flames.
i have had multiple nightmares about this very thing because NOBODY BOTHERS TO ACTUALLY TELL WHEELCHAIR USERS THIS STUFF
some “doctor” peoples who went to “medical school” and “understand the functionings of the human body”: Diet Coke isn’t good for you bc the chemicals destroy ur body
me: 🙄 okie dokie … quack…
user truewarrirorslight on page 48 of a forum I’m reading at 2:45 am: Diet Coke can interfere with how you develop ur psychic powers bc of the chemicals in it
I know this is my own post, but every single time this comes across my dash I am delighted. Every single time, I re-watch the video and laugh, and then scroll down and laugh more. What a truly excellent reblog chain.
listen to me. listen. your actual job in life, and it sucks that your 5th grader teacher didnt explain this adequately enough, is to ask for help when you need it and to accept charity when it would take a weight from your shoulders. Otherwise you end up like Sisyphus- or even worse, Walter White
i mean this in the best way possible, i believe if you were a salad you'd just be a kilogram of lettuce leaves and 1 paper thin cucumber slice hidden somewhere in the middle
I’m sorry but I will never ever use goon as slang for a guy who jacks off a lot or whatever it apparently means now. A goon is a guy in a clown mask and purple tank top who sees a caped crusader swooping down to beat up him and his buddies and yells “IT’S DA FREAKIN’ BAT!” and I will accept nothing else.
I know these jokes are really funny but the thing is I was able to come up with them really quickly. Idk but writing a post like this just comes natural to me
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