lacefuneral:

foreveriallyzombified:

look at this loser. he looks like he moans when he wipes his asshole [remembers not to be homophobic] But he’s married to a woman [doesn’t want to sound too congratulatory] An ugly woman [doesn’t want to be misogynistic] With a great personality [doesn’t want to sound too congratulatory] Who moans when she wipes her asshole. [satisfied smirk]

bosspigeon:

so bc i am a Gross Dude my friends i and sometimes rate our burps and my coworker (who is a teen girl) burped in front of me once and i instinctively rated it

so now every time she burps she looks to me hopefully for a rating and bc she has delicate little baby burps i now have to create an entirely new Burp Rating System unique to her bc i rate anything below a 5 and she looks at me like this

perenial:

daddy’s got to be honest kitten. i don’t think we’re finding the northwest passage

rincewind87:

ashes2caches:

it’s honestly kinda fucked up and twisted that hrt doesn’t give you fangs. not even little ones.

oarfjsh:

3liza:

3liza:

99% of “mysterious disappearances” esp of people in their 20s who start acting weird for 48 hours and then vanish are not mysterious, thats just when a lot of reality-obliterating mental illness tends to kick in and it’s pretty easy to get a short circuit in your brain that makes you go family guy death pose in joshua tree national park. it’s not any less tragic, it’s just a documented phenomenon and not particularly predictable. its a big reason the medical advice is for people with a family history of schizophrenia to completely avoid weed and psychedelics. “people just go crazy sometimes” is a principle of human health that used to be a lot more accepted prior to the american midcentury and to a certain extent thats a healthier way to conceptualize and prepare for the risk, as opposed to the modern assertion that anyone acting weird is dangerous and broken forever.

you should have a rough outline of a plan for if any of your loved ones experiences psychosis, it really does happen a lot. UTIs can cause psychosis. taking drugs, even safe drugs, or prescription drugs, can cause psychosis. i was once prescribed a heavy regimen of vitamin D because i was deficient, but the doctor never told me to stop taking it, so i moved to california, stopped being deficient, and developed vitamin d toxicity with downstream hyperparathyroidism which triggered significant hypomania that was undetected and uncontrolled for yeeeeeeears. i just slowly got Weird and started making impulsive decisions based on slightly out-of-gamut beliefs. i drove cross country by myself to have a love affair. the love affair was real, the series of decisions leading to burning down my life in pursuit of it were based on not great brain function however. etc. you see what i mean. churchill mentioned depression being the “black dog who stalks us” (one reason for Churchgrim’s multi-referential name) but theres another, stealthier dog called Insanity and it’s closer to some people than others but man it sneaks up on you. every time i see one of those “guy gets weird and drives into the wilderness forever” missing persons stories i think “yeah i could totally pull that off”

“van gogh cut off his ear what a lunatic” you are 3 nights of bad sleep, getting unexpected upsetting news and taking a substance as benign as coffee at the wrong time away from doing the same hope this helps

valtsv:

valtsv:

this isn’t a new or revalatory take but there is something i adore about how immensely loving about the human inclination to personify death is. like, we realised that we won’t be there to help the ones we love when they cross over to where we can’t follow, so we made them (and ourselves) someone who can

which makes the popular culture conception of death as this intimidating skeletal figure clad in scary-looking hooded black robes and holding a scythe so much funnier

angelnumber27:

nervous breakthrough

the-composite-doll:

caroline-vibecheck:

nixcraft:

Literal definition of spyware:

Also From Microsoft’s own FAQ: “Note that Recall does not perform content moderation. It will not hide information such as passwords or financial account numbers. 🤡

KillKillKillKillKillKillKillKillKillKillKill

[ID: a screenshot showing instructions on how to remove the Windows Recall & Snapshots]

"Some good news. 1, it’s being slow rolled out at the moment. 2, it’s reportedly really easy to turn off.

Click the Windows button on your keyboard

Open the Settings app and go to Privacy & Security > Recall & Snapshots

Disable the Save Snapshots option

If you already have snapshots taken, you can delete them by clicking the Delete Snapshots

yournewfriendshouse:

doggirlpaws:

nem23:

Honestly you can say the same of any line cook

ALT

mercuryfountain-deactivated2024:

PSA gays: if you’re wearing a mesh/lace shirt to a pride fest, sunscreen your whole chest/back before putting it on. I can’t live to see another diva fall prey to sunburns with bizarrely specific patterns.

criminalizegolf:

bonusocean:

andrewjacksonjihads:

i want someone who will sit on a rooftop with me at 3 am and shave their head while i shave my head and then hotglue the hair to the roof so the roof will have hair

Stop listening to folk punk

Happy 10 years to Stop listening to folk punk

turnipotentiary:

officialgaryoak:

the fact that walls get dusty is ridiculous. you’re vertical. act like it.

darth-maya:

my-life-is-a-sidequest:

marinaratrench05:

Why is Falin eating the post

she just does that sometimes you gotta keep an eye on her

another-punk-trans-woman:

Judge blocks Florida’s transgender youth care ban for minors

GUYS!

A judge has blocked the HRT bans in Florida for minors *and* adults!

There’s still more work to be done, gender affirming surgery is still illegal there, but this is an ENORMOUS win.

Happy pride month, y'all.

fangirling-in-general-idk:

localsadsoul:

alexfierrno:

athenaowl1:

aymygod:

ghdos:

zeauxlouizianalaureate:

ramentic:

voltisubito:

marquesadesantos:

aboonoor:

If you’re a Non-Muslim and you see a Muslim praying in public, could you please not pass in front of them?

Go behind them, but not in front. 👍

Oh, signal boost! I didn’t know this.

Okay, but also: if you see a Muslim praying in public and they have something in front of them, like a purse or a bag or something like that, you can pass in front of them, but pass in front of that object.

it’s called a sutrah, and it’s meant to act as a physical barrier between the person praying and someone who might happen to pass in front.

Also, if you did this and didn’t know, please don’t beat yourself up over it. Now you know! Muslims aren’t supposed to pass in front of Muslims praying, either, because prayer is communication with God and you don’t want to break that connection.

Spread culture, respect customs, be good people. Simple as that.

Didn’t know this.

Reblogging again

THE AMOUNTS OF REBLOGS THIS HAS JUST MAKES ME SO HAPPY

S I G N A L B O O S T

Reblog forever ! 

Similarly, if a Jew is saying the Shemonah Esrei prayer (whispered, moving only the mouth, standing facing east with legs together) don’t go in front unless there’s a barrier.

cryptotheism:

cryptotheism:

He said it again.

Sir a second homophobic slur has hit the Vatican.

brightlotusmoon:

tittyinfinity:

lakevida:

fullmetalwindbreaker:

Wait you’re telling me that those weren’t edited as a joke???

Yeah, we broke broke containment.

decontextifier:

melissa-s23:

nardacci-does-art:

twocubes:

she knocked that smug look off my face but luckily i was wearing a second, smaller smug look underneath

This post is so incredibly dumb and everytime I come across it I just can’t help but laugh. This site is just magical. Where else will you get this nonsense?

“This site is just magical nonsense”

(Hello I take the context out of posts)

pattern-recognition:

They just don’t make games like they used to no more

thememedaddy:

mangosteen:

aspecmemesdaily:

Source | Day 13

thememedaddy:

ice-block:

ice-block:

Man made crystals are so cool it’s so sad everyone who likes rocks is out for blood if you post man made crystals. I love you opalite I love you lab created opal I love you bismuth I love you HTA citrine I love you goldstone

Post “fake” crystals hour

anuphim:

shitpost dump + sneak peak at narilamb designs ive been cookin up for the past like…..month

oatlymilk:

cleolinda:

ann-decart:

sternen–staub:

occasional posts from users

reblog if you make occasional posts

Sometimes I still hear my voice

myjetpack:

ALT

My latest cartoon for New Scientist.

cyle:

jess-total-mess:

I went digging through youtube, old posts, and shitty websites, along with my memories, and here you go! Hopefully these are accurate.

2013 — Unoffical Tumblr event “Mishapocalypse” happened, an online flash mob event wherein which Tumblrinas change their profile pictures to a specific picture of Misha Collins of Supernatural fame.

2014 — Users were given the option to get Tumblr Pro for free, and those who accepted were given top hats on their icons. Prompty after this, @staff announced that “Everyone with a top hat is now marked for account deletion. This is the only way we could destroy this horrible website. Happy April Fools day.”

2015 — The “Executive Suite 2016 Productivity Edition” essentially changed Tumblr into office software, allowing spreadsheets for memes, calculators that gave incorrect answers, and Coppy. Who gave “helpful tips”.

2016 — Tumblr voted to select the “new lizard king”, from Rick, Debrah, Mop and Wretched Tooth. However, more famously, an edited @staff post reads “for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits”.

2017 — The Tumblr Horse Game was a feature that, when clicked, took users to a game wherein you had to collect shit from a pixelated horse. If you failed to do so, the horse died.

2018 — The answer to Bitcoin, is Tumblcoin! A parody of crytocurency.

2019 — Tumblr Memories, in which Tumbeasts were set loose. Remember them? The mascot from 2011, for service interruption announcements.

2020 — There was seemingly no prank this year. This was COVID-19.

2021 — Tumblr released “non-fungible tumblcryptids”, a parody of NFTs. There was a supposedly limited amount of them.

2022 — A light switch, when activated, would open up a variety of colourful things on the desktop dashboard, including a “Summon Crab!” button, which would summon a crab when activated. Other buttons made different sounds.

2023 — A feature similar to the Discord reaction function was temporarily added, using basic emojis.

2024 — Every user was given the option to opt-in to the boop o meter, and could boop, super boop, and evil boop other users who also opted in, earning up to three badges by doing so.

very good list. some minor corrections/additions:

2016 was simply “the lizard election”, we purposefully didn’t say what position the election was for. you could also make campaign posters in the mobile apps.

2018 also included a prototype version of Tumblrmart, but the currency to spend was Tumblrcoin/Tumblcoin, and it featured Horse Game, Coppy, and some other references to past April Fools.

2019’s memories blog is still available to see what it says about you.

2020’s prank was @storybot – it existed in group chats only, and let people collaboratively write stories.

2023’s emoji reactions also unlocked various effects once certain thresholds were reached. for example, if “cheese” was reacted enough times, the post got covered in cheese.

jkottke:

Guy Who Sucks At Being A Person Sees Huge Potential In AI. “Deep down [he] has absolutely zero understanding of what makes things good, enjoyable, or rewarding.”

sexhaver:

sexhaver:

guys i don’t care what adobe corporate is doing, there is literally nothing they can do that would make recommending Gimp as a Photoshop alternative anything other than a sick joke at the expense of people who don’t know better. Adobe could announce that every picture you draw in Photoshop is now being harvested to power their baby-boiling machine, and the correct response would still be continuing to pirate a cracked version of Photoshop from before they made those changes (or just blocking the relevant port with a firewall rule). friends don’t let friends use Gimp

forgottenflickr:

2004

bamsara:

oh god

bamsara:

Goat Friend has joined the game

yes i know the goat is wearing the crown and also holding the crown’s axe. idc it looked cool

awesomesaucesers:

A simple 9000 question rating quiz

joe-bidens-big-naturals:

kaylasartwork:

starlingsongs:

starlingsongs:

When trans women are mocked and made into jokes in the media, I get very upset, and I am often told “Kay, you can’t go through life getting offended every time someone makes a joke.” And I sputter and object but they don’t hear me. So I want to be clear for once, about why the jokes make me angry.

I learned to hate myself for being transgender before I knew I was transgender. I laughed at the jokes in stand up comedy routines, and prime time sitcoms, and animated comedy shows, and in the movies, and in books, and in games, laughing at trans women for existing, about “men in dresses”, about people who “got their dicks chopped off”, and I learned to think that was worthy of ridicule.

And then a day came when I felt a pang of envy at what my female classmates were wearing and I repressed it, and felt guilty, and a day where I felt incomplete because I had no breasts and I repressed it and I felt disgusting
And a day when I realized the only images of romance that made me feel anything showed two women together and I repressed it and I felt like a monster
And a day when I realized I felt sick when I looked at myself in the mirror after every shower before work and couldn’t bear to look at my own face, and I hated myself.
And then there came a day when I hated myself so much, and I thought I could never understand why, and so I just wanted it all to end. And it was just a miracle that I swerved my car back into my lane in time.

And all of it started with a joke that I heard on TV, and then kept hearing from all the voices from the ether, over and over and over, worming an idea into my mind before I was old enough to realize I was absorbing it, the idea that a man in a dress is funny, and that changing your body parts makes you a freak, and that women who have penises instead of vaginas are liars and hurt men. And they’re still making these jokes. And somewhere out there right now, just like all those years ago, there is a little girl in a t-shirt and cargo shorts with buzzed off hair watching the TV, hearing that joke and absorbing it without knowing it, who will someday have to pry herself apart to tear it out of her head, just like I did.

That is, if she doesn’t kill herself first.

I know this is a really heavy post but if you read it and you appreciated it, I’d appreciate it in return if you reblogged it. This is really important to me and I want people to read it and understand it. Thank you.

Such a poignant and well written statement

and OP is banned, how peculiar

clevercrumbish:

clevercrumbish:

clevercrumbish:

Terfism is targeted at radicalising older-middle-aged women in order to sever the otherwise naturally-forming bond that makes trans women and older-middle-aged cis women the strongest of comrades via our shared interests and experiences.

- Know what a faff taking HRT is.

- Can exchange/recommend sources for the large weird shaped clothes they don’t sell in department stores.

- Love complaining about things and gossiping about their peers.

It’s extremely easy to me to break the ice with a woman in their late 50s or older I just soul read her for what aspect of modern life she desperately wants to complain about for two hours straight and then just complain about it first so she can excitedly join in.

cannibalchicken:

ur-daily-inspiration:

Just a little something to brighten up your day 🖤🐑 By @truskvalaisblacknose

transmutationisms:

transmutationisms:

transmutationisms:

lol people know that ‘blind peer review’ is often not actually 'blind’ (anonymous), right?

once you’ve reached a point where you’re publishing in niche academic journals on niche subfields of knowledge, there are only so many people in the world who devote their careers to the same thing as you, and even fewer once you take into account language barriers and the exclusion of many global south academics from global north academic journals and discourse. a journal you’ve submitted a paper to might, realistically, be choosing from a pool of like 5-10 people, if that many, who can read and comment on your work at a specialist level. you probably know who all of these people are, both from reading their work, and from like, rubbing shoulders with them at conferences. you have probably, by this point, presented earlier versions of your work to them at those conferences, so they likely know who you are as well. on top of that, if you’ve done your job well, you probably cited every single one of these people in the paper that needs reviewing, in your literature section if nowhere else. 'blind’ review is a fiction lol

& yes this means that, no matter how scrupulous any individual might perceive themself as being, there is p much always an incentive 1) for junior scholars to cite established scholars in positive / flattering ways, and 2) for those established scholars to then reward those papers with the positive peer review that gets them published in high-ranked journals. this is one of the phenomena being alluded to when people say that modern academic discourse, like its medieval counterparts, runs on patronage relationships

daughter-of-sapph0:

I hope people know that whenever I make a spelling mistake, it’s always 100% intentional and jist me being funny. I totally know how to type properly. it’s called commitment to the bit

fujillamaparadise-deactivated20:

catchymemes:

@beelzeebud

virtualgirladvance:

kaijuno:

For 2 days in a row I have seen this little guy removing leaves from my plant and eating them until he passes out. He’s missing an ear, so he may be self-medicating his PTSD, but still, I think it’s time for an intervention.

I’ll let him sleep this time, but when he wakes up, we’ll have a serious talk.

Found my fursona

faggypuppywhore-deactivated2024:

People: Yeah being outed can be really dangerous and no one should ever be outed against their will

Also people: If youre a trans dude who passes you should always out yourself so that other people know you arent a big scary man but also out yourself so if you dont pass we know you are a scary man

spicymochi:

choose your fav puppy

transmutationisms:

transmutationisms:

transmutationisms:

lol people know that ‘blind peer review’ is often not actually 'blind’ (anonymous), right?

once you’ve reached a point where you’re publishing in niche academic journals on niche subfields of knowledge, there are only so many people in the world who devote their careers to the same thing as you, and even fewer once you take into account language barriers and the exclusion of many global south academics from global north academic journals and discourse. a journal you’ve submitted a paper to might, realistically, be choosing from a pool of like 5-10 people, if that many, who can read and comment on your work at a specialist level. you probably know who all of these people are, both from reading their work, and from like, rubbing shoulders with them at conferences. you have probably, by this point, presented earlier versions of your work to them at those conferences, so they likely know who you are as well. on top of that, if you’ve done your job well, you probably cited every single one of these people in the paper that needs reviewing, in your literature section if nowhere else. 'blind’ review is a fiction lol

& yes this means that, no matter how scrupulous any individual might perceive themself as being, there is p much always an incentive 1) for junior scholars to cite established scholars in positive / flattering ways, and 2) for those established scholars to then reward those papers with the positive peer review that gets them published in high-ranked journals. this is one of the phenomena being alluded to when people say that modern academic discourse, like its medieval counterparts, runs on patronage relationships

benpaddon:

raymusterio:

thememedaddy:

Last year, I was talking with my mom about parenting and she said “well at least I never made you feel like I didn’t love you”

I proceeded to tell her about a time when I was a kid and she was yelling, screaming, and throwing things, and I said “I love you” in that small timid kid voice and she said

“well I don’t love you right now”

Our relationship was never the same after that and she didn’t even remember that it happened.

The axe never remembers, but the tree never forgets.

etrianodysseyobsession-hd-deact:

spainy-spoon:

inkary:

creepymutelilbugger:

i can’t imagine a world in which i haven’t put this video on my page

“it’s time to surface, (unintelligible, possibly "back to people), the vacation is over. oh blyat, a grenade. what sort of moron keeps the…-boom-”

Can’t help but appreciate how well the body language translates through VR.

The frantic head turning while looking for a place to stash the grenade, the double take as they realize the drawer they chose was FULL of grenades, and the “WTF” hand gesture as they point in disbelief at the drawer full of grenades? Chef’s kiss.

POV you’re Wile E Coyote