“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
my mom hung up some clothes of mine on the doorframe and it seriously could not convey more “this guy dresses like a cartoon bully” if it got up and stole a kids lunch money
For the 1000th time, Adult CocoMelon FanCon is for ADULTS and we are NOT going to cancel the fully nude “Wheels On The Bus” performance in the mall food court because a bunch of TikTok-brained Puriteens can’t be bothered to leave after getting a full THREE MINUTES notice
For the 1000th time, Adult CocoMelon FanCon is for ADULTS and we are NOT going to cancel the fully nude “Wheels On The Bus” performance in the mall food court because a bunch of TikTok-brained Puriteens can’t be bothered to leave after getting a full THREE MINUTES notice
For the 1000th time, Adult CocoMelon FanCon is for ADULTS and we are NOT going to cancel the fully nude “Wheels On The Bus” performance in the mall food court because a bunch of TikTok-brained Puriteens can’t be bothered to leave after getting a full THREE MINUTES notice
Might just be the depression talking but i feel the feedback and length of time of a challenge changes how rewarding it feels. Most games are designed to peak in difficulty and reward the player around the same time. Life doesn’t work like that. Retail doesn’t get harder throughout the day and then rewards you with cash at the end. You struggle daily for 1-2 weeks then get sent a check.
Sometimes it is an easy pay period other times its incredibly difficult, but regardless you get rewarded the same. Thus why people may feel better about overcoming video game challenges while not feeling even a fraction of that reward by doing real life tasks.
If confetti rained down and victory music played when I fucking cleaned my room you bet I’d be way more consistent with it.
If confetti rained down when I cleaned my room, I feel like that might negatively impact my desire to clean my room. Could we substitute the confetti with something else?
no and every time you clean the confetti another confetti charge goes off
They don’t even attempt to assassinate US politicians anymore. You notice that? Not since the anthrax scare back for… who was it, Barack? And even that… pathetic. This new generation has no respect for an honest hitman. I’m not sure this new generation has any honest hitman - you see that shit with Boeing? Sloppy, fucking disgraceful - you kill the whistleblowers before they get halfway to a lawsuit. What kind of fucking amateur is doing faked suicides the night before testimony? Goddamn greenhorns. Back in my day someone tried to shoot Ronald Reagan in broad daylight. There used to be bomb threats to Congress. I took out a few union leaders in the utilities sector myself. Today’s generation? Won’t even threaten to throw a punch - not even over on that - what’s it now, ‘X’? They got no guts. None! And they don’t even have poor impulse control to boot! Too much of that - that panopticon anxiety bullshit. “Oh what if I get a called out post???” People used to send the president letters full of bioweapons. In the mail! Today’s generation? Not a chance. All because of woke.
They don’t even attempt to assassinate US politicians anymore. You notice that? Not since the anthrax scare back for… who was it, Barack? And even that… pathetic. This new generation has no respect for an honest hitman. I’m not sure this new generation has any honest hitman - you see that shit with Boeing? Sloppy, fucking disgraceful - you kill the whistleblowers before they get halfway to a lawsuit. What kind of fucking amateur is doing faked suicides the night before testimony? Goddamn greenhorns. Back in my day someone tried to shoot Ronald Reagan in broad daylight. There used to be bomb threats to Congress. I took out a few union leaders in the utilities sector myself. Today’s generation? Won’t even threaten to throw a punch - not even over on that - what’s it now, ‘X’? They got no guts. None! And they don’t even have poor impulse control to boot! Too much of that - that panopticon anxiety bullshit. “Oh what if I get a called out post???” People used to send the president letters full of bioweapons. In the mail! Today’s generation? Not a chance. All because of woke.
They don’t even attempt to assassinate US politicians anymore. You notice that? Not since the anthrax scare back for… who was it, Barack? And even that… pathetic. This new generation has no respect for an honest hitman. I’m not sure this new generation has any honest hitman - you see that shit with Boeing? Sloppy, fucking disgraceful - you kill the whistleblowers before they get halfway to a lawsuit. What kind of fucking amateur is doing faked suicides the night before testimony? Goddamn greenhorns. Back in my day someone tried to shoot Ronald Reagan in broad daylight. There used to be bomb threats to Congress. I took out a few union leaders in the utilities sector myself. Today’s generation? Won’t even threaten to throw a punch - not even over on that - what’s it now, ‘X’? They got no guts. None! And they don’t even have poor impulse control to boot! Too much of that - that panopticon anxiety bullshit. “Oh what if I get a called out post???” People used to send the president letters full of bioweapons. In the mail! Today’s generation? Not a chance. All because of woke.
A trans woman invents a new way to describe her own personal experience.
GO TO PAGE 52 IF: her new term is gendered
GO TO PAGE 53 IF: her new term is ambiguous
52: Woah there, partner! Seems like you’re trying to stir up some discourse, there. Why don’t we just shut that down so we can get back to fucking you?
53: What an awesome new term, little lady! So awesome, in fact, that we think we want it to apply to literally everyone! What’s that? It’s personal to you? It means something to “your community”? What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you some kind of pervert? Stop trying to divide the community and let us use your words.
hey sorry we put your players in a time loop. yeah they can only win by learning, and they can only learn by playing. yeah grant o’brien is carboloading next to their podiums. yeah they know that x equals 8 so y must equal 6. no they can’t use the ladder. yeah now they’re doing the wenis. sorry.
the problem with autism is sometimes you want to do something (brave) but you need someone to gently walk you through each step so you know what will happen. and people don’t like doing that
i had to phone a taxi today, scary
every time i see this post i think of that person who posted on reddit that they wanted to go to subway for the first time but they were scared they would say the wrong thing so someone gave them step by step instructions for the entire process and what all the choices would be and when they would ask what question and i just think
someone will
someone out there will see you and say “yes. the world is scary. but let me hold your hand and show you how to do it anyways”
everyone needs that someone, and everyone can be that someone
The subreddit r/explainlikeimscared is a surprisingly good resource for this. People are always very kind and thorough from what I’ve seen, and I spend a decent amount of time there giving walkthroughs and answering questions when I know the process.
Teachers have tried this and are amazed when their classes don’t go feral like in the book. It’s almost as if the book was supposed to be satire and not a treaty on the nature of humanity.
there’s a timeskip
THERE’S A TIMESKIP
THERE’S A TIMESKIP
THERE’S A TIMESKIP
after losing control of the signal fire there’s a FUCKING TIMESKIP and when the next chapter starts everyone’s hair is several inches longer and their clothes have rotted to shreds and they’re still just kind of chilling!!!!
IT TAKES THE TERRIBLE IMPERIALISM MIND-POISONED EXCESSIVELY BRITISH BOYS IN THE ACTUAL BOOK SEVERAL MONTHS TO COMMIT A SINGLE ACT OF INTENTIONAL VIOLENCE, EVEN THE ONE (1) CHILD WRITTEN AS AN ACTUAL SOCIOPATH
AND then when they DO turn on each other it is because
THERE’S AN UNSPECIFIED WORLD WAR HAPPENING
AND A PILOT’S CORPSE CRASH LANDS ON THE ISLAND POST-DOGFIGHT AND THE CHILDREN MISTAKE THE PARACHUTE FOR A MONSTER AND SPIRAL INTO PARANOIA
BECAUSE CHILDREN INHERIT THE LEGACY AND TRAUMA OF VIOLENCE FROM THE ADULTS WAGING WAR AROUND THEM
HURR DURR IN THE REAL WORLD IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN LIKE IN LORD OF THE FLIES -
IT DIDN’T HAPPEN THAT WAY IN LORD OF THE FLIES EITHER YOU JUST HAVEN’T READ IT SINCE HIGH SCHOOL IF EVER AND DON’T REMEMBER WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN THE GODDAMN BOOK
yes. yes he did. i’m also gonna direct you to the real life ‘lord of the flies’ which occured in the 1960s, when six tongan schoolboys got stranded on a desert island for over a year before being rescued by an australian fisherman (who, it should be noted, later took on all six as crewmembers because the reason they were out in the first place was because they wanted to see the world, and named his ship the Ata after the island they were stranded on). nobody died. the only injuries that occurred were accidental, and when one of the boys broke his leg falling down a cliff, the others braced it and looked after him so well that it healed perfectly. if they argued, then they would literally go to opposite sides of the island until they’d cooled off. after leaving the island, they remained friends for the rest of their lives. here’s a photo of them as adults, with their rescuer (who is third from the left) and other members of his crew.
i read about this in rutger bregman’s human kind, a book i cannot recommend highly enough, but if you don’t want to go and read a whole book about the inherent goodness of humanity (which again, you really should) then the relevant excerpt can be found here.
An employee walks up to the pile of these. J.P. pick one up and attach it to Morgan jacket. J.P. start to walk away, but then J.P. stop in Morgan tracks, as though remembering something. J.P. turn back and grab two more for Morgan friends, and one extra to attach to Morgan backpack (J.P. are very excited to find premade pins with Morgan somewhat obscure pronouns). J.P. then continue about Morgan day.
Panel 1: A tall purple person and the green person are sitting on stools by a table. In the background is some kind of bar desk with a plain person, a crimson person with a triangular torso and a sky-blue person with cat ears standing around it.
Purple: “Yeah so I don’t really identify as transchromatic OR cischromatic actually”
Green: “Oh! uh-”
Panel 2: Zoom in on a perspective shot of purple on the left and green on the right. Green has a box above their head saying:
“Dialogue choices: -Semantic argument -Deny their lived experience >Hear them out” with “head them out” being selected.
Panel 3: Zoom back out to the same scene as the first panel. In the background another green person with a slight gradient on them has met up with the sky blue person.
Purple: “Yeah so when I was a kid they put me on pills that make you green, ‘cause they’d diagnosed me with Unwanted Purple Syndrome. Thing is I actually did want to be purple once I thought about it, so I had to take purple pills.”
Green: “Oh I get it now”
Purple: “So I think binary categorisation is a bit reductive about how I got to where I am now”
