thund3randrain:

minihood31770:

bewbin:

bewbin:

we got really close one time. monkey #44543 almost wrote Othello perfectly but decided to take some creative liberties in act 3 that were kinda shit so the other monkeys took his typewriter away

Monkey #44543 just sold his script to netflix and now all the other monkeys are acting like they were supporting him the whole time lol

Interestingly this assumes countably infinite monkeys.

I wonder what would be possible with uncountably infinity monkeys?

It ranges from war crimes to a very funny prank, if done right

bruntalism:

loverboygordon:

is this anything

og post below

Keep reading

elodieunderglass:

wolverinequeen:

dusty-shenanigans:

luftraptor:

barduils:

me continuing to make terrible posts about my extremely niche interests instead of anything people actually followed me for:

Note: this is not ferret abuse, they really do enjoy being carried like sacks of potatos.

As a ferret owner I can confirm that my three ferrets do not give a single fuck about being held like that. A ferret WILL let you know if it doesn’t like how you’re holding it. But they like being turned into potato sacks for some reason.

Yeah ferrets get super limp sometimes when you hold them, plus they have a flexible spine and ribs, it doesn’t bother them a bit. They are just loose sacks of meat and kleptomania. 

Me continuing to make my extremely niche posts while gesturing with a consenting ferret

evilscientist3:

smegmafactory4prez:

evilscientist3:

I always wanted to fuck him tbh

you CANNOT be fucking the white pharaoh bro

crippled-peeper:

crippled-peeper:

dear men who have experienced medical misogyny or reproductive violence or coercion: you’re not alone and you’re not a bad person for talking about what you’ve been through. your traumas are real and nobody has any right to deny you the ability to speak about them.

This is one of those posts I’m glad to lose followers and even mutuals over

If you think all experiences can be easily divided into “Man experiences” and “Woman experiences” and anyone who says otherwise is trying to manipulate or hurt you then get the fuck off my blog and never come back

orcboxer:

Have you seen the new show? It’s on Tubu. It’s literally on Heebee. It’s on Poodee with ads. It’s literally on Dippy. You can probably find it on Weeno. Dude it’s on Gumpy. It’s a Pheebo original. It’s on Poob. You can watch it on Poob. You can go to Poob and watch it. Log onto Poob right now. Go to Poob. Dive into Poob. You can Poob it. It’s on Poob. Poob has it for you. Poob has it for you.

minecraft:

imp:

imp:

wifislim:

woomylord-deactivated20240930:

kermitlesbian:

how did gen z end up with 1950s gender roles: expansion pack

turns out you will always loop back to sexist patriarchal gender roles if you don’t actually do any work to deconstruct your biases for them

imp:

apatheticfluorescence:

I stood in line and ate my twinkies. I stood in line, i had to wait.

grantofalltrades:

imp:

Well that’s from nine years ago I’m sure he’s matured after his tenure as President. Let’s see this year’s message…

“Happy Memorial Day to All, including the Human Scum that is working so hard to destro” nevermind.

aflo:

i mean in all fairness there’s only like 100-125 concepts max so once you’ve got those down everything makes perfect sense

achillesinhighheels:

A whole different ball game

imp:

sorry for being a dark sorcerer. as if its my fault.

nevertrump:

status-quo-hater:

You can tell if someone’s actually pro intersex liberation by seeing their reaction to the phrase “abolish the sex binary” Yes I said sex. Like biological sex. It’s not binary.

derinthescarletpescatarian:

dragongirlglasses:

ryan-sometimes:

ryan-sometimes:

Is it weird that I want the holding cell flat? I wanna put my friends in there and give them puzzles to solve to be let out 🥰🫶

I would lock myself in there occasionally to write poetry or read Dostoevsky

Baffled to see this post go around Tumblr dot com without sixteen reblogs just saying “I want this for sex reasons”

Personally I would use it as a climbing frame for potted plants, it looks like the room gets good light. Imagine just having a cascade of living flowers to greet people coming in.

On a less fun note who wants to see a definitely not horrifying video about these British house conversions

itsapmseymour:

I can’t believe Trump’s guilty verdict is how I find out that convicted felons can’t vote

BUT STILL CAN RUN FOR PRESIDENT

paperjoshi:

blazehedgehog:

noir-renard:

flwr-venus:

sailing-ever-west-deactivated20:

bloodied-dagger-deactivated2024:

muppethole-deactivated20240312:

google docs babygirl you are so fucking stupid

may I add:

plaaastic

Some atrocities from the notes

here’s one I got that really confuses me

My personal favorite suggestion gdocs has given me:

This literally just happened to me while writing a script for a potential upcoming video

It wants to change “but it’s still got plenty of alternate pathways” to “but it still plenty of alternate pathways”

When this happens I have taken to yelling at Google through their feedback form that I should be able to turn this off (which you used to be able to do) and have it permanently stay turned off (which is currently impossible)

This is largely because a while back they switched to a learning model, and I guess that model assumes that if lots of people use something often, it must be correct, and not.. y'know, a common error. It learned from everyone, no matter how old they are, not matter how good a writer they are, and it probably fucks up language detection often enough to poison the dataset, too. Taken together, this change is actively making google’s spellcheck worse and worse and worse.

Changing ass o'clock in the morning to noon is pretty funny, though.

shencomix:

My dumbest comic maybe ever.

thefaultinourchickennuggets:

thefaultinourchickennuggets:

made myself cry at work thinking about how much people throughout the world and throughout history have loved their pets 😔

our michael!!!

nohoperadio:

A spoon’s only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That’s why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there’s suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

koriororo:

thottybrucewayne:

2010s Black Tumblr didn’t die organically. It was killed. Not just by staff, not just by the porn ban, but by the white userbase as well. Black bloggers were (and still are) being mass-reported and harassed off the platform constantly. White Tumblr users would post gore in problack tags, racefake left and right in Black people’s askbox, pick random AAVE to call racist/misogynistic/transphobic, etc then get the Black people who were nice enough to explain what it means to them mass reported for harassment, the list goes on.

#yeah people forget the black community on tumblr was once so visible and massive we had Events#the blackout has p much been forgotten#the popular aesthetic blogs that created things like the art hoe movement are GONE#black tumblr is still here its just suppressed by unbearable whiteness#thats why we all get genuinely annoyed by your silly little polls and posts proclaiming loudly that you dont know donna summer.#or james baldwin#black people had a very active and connected community here once with its own subcultures and we were sundown towned out

hammercarexplosion:

tittyinfinity:

This is from 2020, but it definitely still applies.

Still applies in 2024

theadhdgoblin:

daily-spooky:

Let the impulsive thoughts win.

ur-daily-inspiration:

mimikyuno:

cast fat people in normal roles that do not revolve around being fat/ridiculed, I dare you

gitchysnake:

Happy gay gay homosexual gay+ month

legolokiismighty:

triona-tribblescore:

itsnotillegalyet07:

adv3nturelust:

the-tired-tenor:

So uh….some dude apparently recreated Adobe Photoshop feature-for-feature, for FREE, and it runs in your browser.

Anyway, fuck Adobe, and enjoy!

Give credit to the 30-year-old who worked on this for free and offers this service for free!

WHAT?!

I study graphic design and my tutor recommended and used this in his classes at art college last year, it’s so good it has SO many features for free, I really recommend it, even if you’re just trying to learn the basics of PS, such a wonderful thing <3

this site is amazing.

kyriea:

kari69a-deactivated20220420:

what-even-is-thiss:

tiktoksthataregood-ish:

Amputees continue to be the funniest people on the planet why are the rest of us even trying

#a friend of mine was at dragoncon this weekend#they have a rocket raccoon fursuit they wear#and this guy comes up to them and is like…#do you want to take the funniest picture you will ever get in that costume?#and offers them his prosthetic leg

235.6K notes

Yo ucannot leave this in the tags!!

box-is-real:

catchymemes:

@same-pic-of-rickroll-everyday

purefake:

queer-catboy:

acybersw0rld-moved-deactivated2:

joeyclaire:

chris is literally nonbinary

ppl really do just say “cisgender” for anyone who isnt “trans enough” huh

this is literally just how ppl treat nonbinary amabs

the-delta-quadrant-deactivated2:

the-delta-quadrant-deactivated2:

the-delta-quadrant-deactivated2:

the-delta-quadrant-deactivated2:

the-delta-quadrant-deactivated2:

the-delta-quadrant-deactivated2:

the-delta-quadrant-deactivated2:

a genderqueer musician can literally say “i’ve been gendering myself as masculine for a year” in french and english-speaking news outlets turn it into “he’s been a man for a year” and then the nonbinary wiki uses that article as a source to list this person as a genderqueer man without looking at the actual source material or getting someone who speaks french to look at it. it’s really obvious what he said, especially if you know that masculinity does not equal manhood. he never said “man”.

this may be hard for english speakers to understand, but in very binary languages, it’s not uncommon for nonbinary people to use binary terms and pronouns because everything else is considered socially unacceptable or doesn’t even exist. not everyone wants to go through the hassle of explaining neopronouns all the time, so they may just opt for the binary option that hurts the least.

like, my native language is german and while i don’t like to, i sometimes refer to myself with masculine terms too because using gender-neutral language is so highly controversial that it might literally be unsafe or at least uncomfortable.

“using masculine terms” and “calling yourself a man” aren’t necessarily the same thing either, btw. in german, i’m talking about nouns that describe a person: student. citizen. player. eater. literally everything. in french, adjectives are gendered too. so you basically can’t talk about yourself without either gendering yourself as binary or using gender neutral language and risking a very negative reaction. i sometimes talk about myself with masculine terms, but i never call myself a man, a boy or similar.

and the people from the nonbinary people should really understand that if pronouns don’t equal gender either.

like you all who only speak english really don’t understand how fucking pervasive the gender binary is in grammar in other languages

bavaria literally tried making using gender inclusive language ILLEGAL

yet another thing binary people don’t have to deal with. like nonbinary people have the choice between misgendering ourselves as binary or using gender inclusive language and risk getting hate crimed by the local village nazi

and as i said, it’s almost impossible to avoid gendered terms. sure there are ways to avoid it but even THEY get fucking shit on

there’s Student (male student), Studentin (female student), Student_in (student who could be any gender, this is what nonbinary people tend to use, and this is the one that gets A LOT of shit if you even say it or write it anywhere). there’s also Studierende (basically “people who are studying”, this only works for multiple students though because the singular would again be gendered, this one also gets shit)

there’s only so many times you can circumvent this by saying something like “ich studiere” (i’m studying) and are forced to use some kind of gendered word.

i used to be in a whatsapp group for my home village and a woman who was organising an event dared to put “_innen” on a word to make it inclusive of all genders, just for the local village nazi to go on a whole ass rant about it just to make everyone uncomfortable and me feel unsafe. and this was in northern germany and not bavaria. i’ve seen similar rants from people about french and spanish too. this is the world we live in.

i need you all to understand that while english can be annoying, it’s pretty fucking easy to avoid binary language (although even some transgender people aren’t even trying lol) compared to highly gendered languages, and because it can literally be cause problems, a lot of nonbinary people will just opt for binary language

jocoder2:

Staff have done their best to hide this post, OP’s blog has been deleted to hide it. Spread this post as much as you can (ideally through screenshots to avoid it being nuked)

fatdoggirl-deactivated20250130:

fatdoggirl-deactivated20250130:

i cant believe this shit the HECU assholes got to my kitchen. i just wanna make a sandwich how am i supposed to deal with this

podcastwizard:

dnd jokes that will always be funny no matter what your dm tells you

• “jesus christ” “who’s that”
• “this is just like (tv show/movie)” “that’s my favorite play”
• referring to famous musicians or actors from the real world as “bards”
• adding the word “fantasy” in front of modern things (i pull out my Fantasy iPhone and open Fantasy Tinder)
• “how hurt are you” “on a scale of one to twenty-eight i’d say i’m at about a nine.”

feel free to add more

dndspellgifs:

look, I know I’ve talked about this essay (?) before but like,

If you ever needed a good demonstration of the quote “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic”, have I got an exercise for you.

Somebody made a small article explaining the basics of atomic theory but it’s written in Anglish. Anglish is basically a made-up version of English where they remove any elements (words, prefixes, etc) that were originally borrowed from romance languages like french and latin, as well as greek and other foreign loanwords, keeping only those of germanic origin.

What happens is an english which is for the most part intelligible, but since a lot everyday english, and especially the scientific vocabulary, has has heavy latin and greek influence, they have to make up new words from the existing germanic-english vocabulary. For me it kind of reads super viking-ey.

Anyway when you read this article on atomic theory, in Anglish called Uncleftish Beholding, you get this text which kind of reads like a fantasy novel. Like in my mind it feels like it recontextualizes advanced scientific concepts to explain it to a viking audience from ancient times.

Even though you’re familiar with the scientific ideas, because it bypasses the normal language we use for these concepts, you get a chance to examine these ideas as if you were a visitor from another civilization - and guess what, it does feel like it’s about magic. It has a mythical quality to it, like it feels like a book about magic written during viking times. For me this has the same vibe as reading deep magic lore from a Robert Jordan book.

Uncleftish beholding

ayeforscotland:

ayeforscotland:

If I was the woman who was arrested for dramatically throwing a milkshake over Nigel Farage, I would be absolutely devastated that the Daily Mail is advertising my OnlyFans.

I wouldn’t know which house to buy first.

Daily Mail readers who are very clearly not mad:

“Oh so you support her doing capitalism, do you?”

im-a-ramblr:

HAPPY FIRST EVER INTERNATIONAL AROMANTIC VISIBILITY DAY

self-loving-vampire:

max1461:

Everybody does the exact same stupid shit. That white nationalist anon I was getting a while ago would send me story after story of some random black guy or immigrant committing a violent crime against a white person. Well, yeah, people are violent, you’re gonna find those if you go looking for them. And there’s a lot of racial animosity in the world, so you’ll even find racially charged ones if you go looking! No shit, Sherlock. We could play this game all day. You find me a news story of a black guy killing a white guy, I find you a news story of white guy killing a black guy. This does no one any good.

TERFs are identical. News story after news story of a trans woman raping somebody. Yeah, the world is an awful place and people rape each other. I can find you a news story of a cis woman raping a teenage boy and getting three months in jail. I can find you a news story of a cis mom killing her disabled kid cause they’re too much work. But I don’t want to. The world sucks shit, why gorge yourself on the tragedy?

Zionists come up with news story after news story of pro-Palestinian/BDS/whatever protestors being antisemitic. Yep. A lot of people out there hate Jews. And there has been a genuine rise in antisemitism since the Oct. 7th attack, and that’s awful. There are no excuses for that. Do you know what else has happened since then? The Israeli military has slaughtered tens of thousands of Palestinians, including huge numbers of innocent civilians—men, women and children.

People are often terrible to each other. Welcome to Earth. If you go looking for bad actors in a big enough group, you are guaranteed to find them. How about this. What about all the black people who didn’t kill a white little girl? What about the black little girls? What about their hopes and dreams? What about their chance at life? What about all the trans women who didn’t rape anybody in a bathroom? What if they just want to go about their lives, without constant public scrutiny of what genitals they have (as a cis woman, can you empathize with that? Constant public scrutiny of what you’re doing with your genitals?). What about the 30,000 Palestinians who have been killed, and the 70,000 who have been displaced from their homes?

Fear has made you a monster. Fear has driven you to demand slaughter and oppression of innocent people because they look like guilty people you read about on the news, and since they look the same to you, you feel fearful—how can you tell whether these are the innocent ones or the guilty ones? Best to oppress and slaughter them preemptively just to be safe. I am here to tell you that this twisted logic of self-defense does not hold. I do not care if you feel safe—I do not care if you are safe—if the cost of your safety is innocent life. The world is a risky place. I am not going to deny that. Horrible things could happen to any of us. If we go around preemptively attacking other over it, we do not make it a bit better. And, needless to say, danger comes from everywhere, from every group of human beings, and oppressing the people who make you nervous will not, in fact, deliver you from danger. It just makes you a monster.

I keep saying this. Hate groups share outrage bait among themselves as a form of self-radicalization that winds up twisting their emotional responses so much towards hostility and fear that they end up feeling as if everyone in their outgroup is some kind of vicious threat.

The process is practically the same every time no matter what kind of demographic they want to fearmonger about.

self-loving-vampire:

max1461:

Everybody does the exact same stupid shit. That white nationalist anon I was getting a while ago would send me story after story of some random black guy or immigrant committing a violent crime against a white person. Well, yeah, people are violent, you’re gonna find those if you go looking for them. And there’s a lot of racial animosity in the world, so you’ll even find racially charged ones if you go looking! No shit, Sherlock. We could play this game all day. You find me a news story of a black guy killing a white guy, I find you a news story of white guy killing a black guy. This does no one any good.

TERFs are identical. News story after news story of a trans woman raping somebody. Yeah, the world is an awful place and people rape each other. I can find you a news story of a cis woman raping a teenage boy and getting three months in jail. I can find you a news story of a cis mom killing her disabled kid cause they’re too much work. But I don’t want to. The world sucks shit, why gorge yourself on the tragedy?

Zionists come up with news story after news story of pro-Palestinian/BDS/whatever protestors being antisemitic. Yep. A lot of people out there hate Jews. And there has been a genuine rise in antisemitism since the Oct. 7th attack, and that’s awful. There are no excuses for that. Do you know what else has happened since then? The Israeli military has slaughtered tens of thousands of Palestinians, including huge numbers of innocent civilians—men, women and children.

People are often terrible to each other. Welcome to Earth. If you go looking for bad actors in a big enough group, you are guaranteed to find them. How about this. What about all the black people who didn’t kill a white little girl? What about the black little girls? What about their hopes and dreams? What about their chance at life? What about all the trans women who didn’t rape anybody in a bathroom? What if they just want to go about their lives, without constant public scrutiny of what genitals they have (as a cis woman, can you empathize with that? Constant public scrutiny of what you’re doing with your genitals?). What about the 30,000 Palestinians who have been killed, and the 70,000 who have been displaced from their homes?

Fear has made you a monster. Fear has driven you to demand slaughter and oppression of innocent people because they look like guilty people you read about on the news, and since they look the same to you, you feel fearful—how can you tell whether these are the innocent ones or the guilty ones? Best to oppress and slaughter them preemptively just to be safe. I am here to tell you that this twisted logic of self-defense does not hold. I do not care if you feel safe—I do not care if you are safe—if the cost of your safety is innocent life. The world is a risky place. I am not going to deny that. Horrible things could happen to any of us. If we go around preemptively attacking other over it, we do not make it a bit better. And, needless to say, danger comes from everywhere, from every group of human beings, and oppressing the people who make you nervous will not, in fact, deliver you from danger. It just makes you a monster.

I keep saying this. Hate groups share outrage bait among themselves as a form of self-radicalization that winds up twisting their emotional responses so much towards hostility and fear that they end up feeling as if everyone in their outgroup is some kind of vicious threat.

The process is practically the same every time no matter what kind of demographic they want to fearmonger about.

penrosesun:

PSA: Don’t use Open Office

I keep seeing people recommending Open Office as an alternative to Word, and uh… look, it is, technically, an open source alternative to Word. And it can do a lot of what Word can, genuinely! But it is also an abandoned project that hasn’t been updated in nine years, and there’s an active fork of it which is still receiving updates, and that fork is called LibreOffice, and it’s fantastic.

Seriously, if you think that your choices are either “grit your teeth and pay Microsoft for a subscription” or “support free software but have a kind of subpar office suite experience”, I guarantee that it’s because you’re working with outdated information, or outdated software. Most people I know who have used the latest version of LibreOffice prefer it to Word. I even know a handful of people who prefer it to Scrivener.

Open Office was the original project, and so it has the most name recognition, and as far as I can tell, that’s really the only reason people are still recommending it. It’s kind of like if people were saying “hey, the iPhone 14 isn’t your only smart phone option!” but then were only ever recommending the Samsung Galaxy S5 as an alternative. LibreOffice is literally a version of the same exact program as Open Office that’s just newer and better – please don’t get locked into using a worse tool just because the updated version of the program has a different name!