May 2024

gayboygaming:

This is the funniest thing ive seen today. Yes thank you, that truly was one of my finest posts

paper-mario-wiki:

paper-mario-wiki:

paper-mario-wiki:

hey guys, what do you think of my dinner?

(choose your words carefully)

EXCUSE ME?

THAT’S IT


describe-things:

krishfv:

[ID: A three panel comic from Berkeleymews.com.

Panel 1 shows a light blue figure in a suit standing at a podium, saying, “Vote for me because I’m not my opponent.”.

Panel 2 shows someone in the crowd raising a hand and asking, “What do you stand for?”

The candidate replies, “Not being my
opponent”.
Panel 3 shows another speech bubble from the crowd offscreen, asking, “What’s your name?”

The candidate replies, “Not my opponent’s name”.

End ID.]

the-haiku-bot:

brennacedria:

beggars-opera:

I just want to formally acknowledge to the person driving in front of me with bumper stickers reading “I’d Rather Be Slowly Consumed By Moss,” “Slime Mold Is My Co-Pilot,” and “Honk If You’d Rather Be Watching The Cinematic Masterpiece ‘The Mummy’ Starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz” that I know you have an account here and I approve of you

OP where are you from, bc I’m 90% sure I’ve seen that car

Edit: I only took a pic of the mummy sticker

OP where are you from,

bc I’m 90%

sure I’ve seen that car

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

orteil42:

if i keep sprinkling words like “normalstyle” in my speech people won’t notice i’m 34. i’m still youthcore i’m still relevantpilled

unmarketableplushy:

i-am-aprl:

ID: A photo of a billboard. It says in bold, white text, “Israel Kills 3 School Buses of Kids Daily. Our taxes fund it.”

Beside the text it says “TaxPayersForPeace.org”, and has three identical schoolbuses./End ID

official-linguistics-post:

erylon:

A loanword is a word taken from another language, such as ‘angst’ or ‘tsunami’ or ‘calque’.
A calque is a literal translation of a word from another language, such as rhinestone (from French caillou du Rhine) or blueblood (from Spanish sangre azul) or loanword (from German lehnwort).

official linguistics post

chasetriesagain:

inactiveaccount082024:

lezbianz:

this is for a part-time job as a barista

on an application to work the front desk of a hotel

If minimum wage you’d like to make,
This ancient quiz you’ll have to take.

Step right up, but be prepared.
Those who fail are poverty-snared.

Question One!

If your labor proves most fruitful,
Raking quarters by the bootful,
Who should excess profits reap,
Me the wolf or you the sheep?

Question Two!

If, by merit, you’re made pope,
What will be your fervent hope?
Law and order justly paired?
Or mercy and the guilty spared?

Question Three!

If a train should leave Topeka
Driven by a solar squeaker,
How then should the cat behave?
Give it milk or give it grave?

Question Four!

Do you have a criminal record?

slyandthefamilybook:

why do you guys talk like you think not voting means no one gets elected

theconcealedweapon:

esgiel:

wholesome-supervillain:

bringing this back

@teionleeirl

terri-theslime13:

cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024:

chose something to worship

RA, God of the Sun

The Ocean Depths

Mysterious forces lying in ponds encouraging you to take a nap on a floatie.

a collection of pretty cool skull masks

BUGS

Thighs, Penis, Hole, and other various constructions of Flesh.

The Immortal Machine

Rains and Winds

ANTI-RA, God of Geothermal Energy and the Moon

hatsune miku

HAROLD THE UNSUNKEN

Earth and dirt and such. I guess it’s, like, a maternal thing? If you ask me, it

See Results

as offered by the incredibly normal people of the tumblr community

Hatsune Miku vs The Ocean Depths is an insane battle

fuzipenguin:

aphony-cree:

penfairy:

Smash that mf reblog button if you stoically ignore all labelled washing instructions and everything your mama ever told you about laundry and just send those bastards hurgling around in an overfilled tub to meet either death or glory

Something I learned from a costume designer: if an item can be washed multiple ways the designer is only legally obligated to put one of the ways on the tag, but if there’s only one way to wash that item they have to put Only on the instructions

If the tag says “Dry Clean” it’s safe to machine wash but the designer thinks it looks better if you get it dry cleaned 

But if it says “Dry Clean Only” you will destroy it if you wash it any other way

Reblogging for that last bit which this 37 yr old adult did not lnowy

lilcowzia:

lilcowzia:

lilcowzia:

it literally HAS to be okay to choose to be fat in order for fat liberation to mean anything at all tbh

i literally wrote this as simple and straightforward as possible and still most of the notifications i get on this post are “yeah, some people have the Fat Curse, cursed by fat, and theres nothing they can do abt it. its not your fault uwu” which is wild, bc why did you write all that nonsense when you clearly refused to read?

i am slamming my head on the bars of my enclosure. i am screaming into the starless sky and shouting that some people do want to be fat actually, and are fat because they want to be, whether they are “natually” fat, or they eat intentionally to gain weight, or they simply enjoy eating and choose not to limit that joy. there is nothing wrong with choosing to be fat. and there is nothing wrong with being fat and happy. the fact that this is so inconceivable to so many ppl, even those who claim to be body positive/neutral/fat liberationist is literally just fatphobia and nothing else. how are you expecting to make the world a safer place for fat ppl when you can’t even twist your lips to admit that fatness is desirable?

frightstricken:

if you say “as one does” after any phrase nobody’s allowed to think you’re weird anymore. cheat code bypass for all standards of social normalcy

cryptotheism:

stardial:

stardial:

stardial:

it’s insane how quickly your life can just. suddenly improve. i used to be so miserable but now i own 5 swords

@cadaverkeys on it boss.

pictured is two rapiers, a fencing foil, a saber, and a rapier thats been shortened down <3

my arm hurts so much.

The five of swords. Heated competition, boastfulness, victory at any cost.

batmanisagatewaydrug:

there’s that post going around that’s a short twit thread talking about “the obesity epidemic” as a result of economic oppression and everyone’s snapping their little fingers for it but like. you guys know that we achieved socialist utopia tomorrow there would still be fat people right. you guys know that genetics play a bigger role in that than anything else and that some people will just be fat regardless of every other factor in their life right. you guys know that’s fine right.

like idk I don’t think it comes from a purposefully fatphobic place and like yes it sucks a lot that the demands of capitalism deny people a lot of opportunities to cook or learn to cook and be more engaged and intentional about their food. but it has this flavor of “poverty is bad because it makes people fat,” which only holds up as an argument if you agree that being fat is a terrible thing that happens to people rather than being a completely neutral reality about some people’s bodies.

anyone pulling any fatphobia on this post is getting blocked on sight I’m not playing.

starsinfight:

todaysbird:

that’s a whole man.

you can’t leave off the photo the sawmill worker took of the kiwi

valtsv:

valtsv:

fucking incredible how different life feels when you have clear nasal passages

a diagram of the paranasal sinuses with a hand holding up a middle finger pasted over itALT

bodhrancomedy:

syntheros-artemidos:

bodhrancomedy:

One thing I despise about kids being uneducated about internet safety is the amount of times I’ve had to delete not just their identifying details from my page (don’t fucking tell me where you go to school), but also mine.

If you saw me at work or out and about, no you fucking didn’t.

Shut the fuck up, I’ve had death threats.

no yeah seriously. my friends and I almost got fully fucked doxxed a while back. shit can absolutely be dangerous on the Internet.

change names. don’t mention specific places. keep your personal information to YOURSELF.

if you don’t, you will almost certainly live to regret it.

An update to this: I had someone try (because luckily I’d already filtered keywords) to flood my comment section with my place of work down to the postcode with an invitation to “go say hi”.

That wasn’t in fun.

guys

hellsitegenetics:

aru:

if i ever see any of you in public, the code is “i like your shoelaces”

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

String identified:
ga c, t c “ ac”

tat a ’ t tt ag atg

Closest match: Salvelinus alpinus CLK4-associating serine/arginine rich protein (LOC111960582), transcript variant X2, mRNA
Common name: Arctic Char

(image source)

itwashotwestayedinthewater:

i think theres something to be said about a group of people being addressed as “chat”. im not about to think about it too much tho

no-place-for-strange-birds:

pieceofcandycorn:

acitybythelightunited:

…you have too much time on your …HANDS.

what compelled you to do this

Humans have been compelled to do this for thousands of years

satellites-halo:

You should include intersex people in your activism not bc we prove bio essentialists are wrong but bc we are people who deserve rights 👍

communistkenobi:

zoethesportsblog:

listen listen. when you see a deactivated blog and the url says *url*-deactivatedyyyymmdd that person deactivated voluntarily. if it says just the url and the blog is deactivated that means they got terminated by staff.

a tumblr reply by @bagofbonesmp3: Skyrim loading screen. end IDALT

kira-serialfaggot:

ilan:

mammalidentifier:

poorly-identifying-cats-in-posts:

escuerzoresucitado:

Whoa mama! The big yapper some sort of cat! ✓

Serval (Leptailurus serval). You can’t get much more cat than that!

That’s the meowing usef in that

mammalidentifier:

poorly-identifying-cats-in-posts:

escuerzoresucitado:

Whoa mama! The big yapper some sort of cat! ✓

Serval (Leptailurus serval). You can’t get much more cat than that!

circleturk:

:

bricky-b:

iicraft505:

iicraft505:

iicraft505:

Compilation of people holding things that shouldn’t be held, please add more if you have any

@chai-cow-ski

@is-the-snake-video-cute looks like a coral snake (blunt nose) but double checking- is it ?

That’s indeed a coral snake, good ID!!

This thread is full of the luckiest people on the planet, I think. Also goes to show just how calm even venomous snakes are - coral snakes rarely bite unless you’re actively harassing them - and how important it is to make sure your ID as non-venomous is 1000% certain before picking up any wild snake.

tasty-tiktoks:

beneaththegildedmoon:

bodhrancomedy:

There are a fair few faux feminist statements I hate, but “We are the daughters of the witches you couldn’t burn” is one of them.

Historically inaccurate understanding of both who was persecuted by the witch trials and how those persecuted were typically dealt with? ✅️

Trivialising the torture and live immolation of real actual people by implying they somehow weren’t strong or clever enough to avoid being burned at the stake? ✅️

Invoking a legacy that categorically does not belong to them in an attempt to claim an oppression they and their ancestors never faced? ✅️

frostplays:

CHAT THEY DISCOVERED A NEW COAT TYPE IN CATS

IT’S CALLED “SALMIAK” OR “SALTY LICORICE” AND IT LOOKS LIKE THIS


Reblog if you're not homophobic

100percent-shell-oil:

fabu-darlin:

Every url that reblog’s will be written in a book and shown to my homophobic dad. 

OP it’s been 14 years how did your dad react?

astronomical-bagel:

mitzo:

princessmo:

mitzo:

princessmo:

mitzo:

princessmo:

mitzo:

princessmo:

yo mr white can you sign my permission slip so i can go to the aquarium bitch

jesse. you need money to enter jesse.

yo mr white can i have $5 to go to the aquarium it’s for school bitch

jesse. do you want some money for the gift shop jesse.

yeah mr white. can i have money to get lunch there too please. bitch

of course jesse. bring me back a cuttlefish plush jesse

you got it mr white

thank you jesse

snake-and-mouse:

friendraichu:

tiktoksthataregood-ish:

JEANS

barryogg:

lordascapelion:

We should piss on the poor

How dare you say that reading comprehension on this site is piss poor

hometoursandotherstuff:

Common Name: Flat-headed Salamander

Scientific Name: Desmognathus planiceps

U.S. state distribution: Virginia

dnlrntr:

cryptotheism:

to-fu:

my easily jumpscared gf has her back to the door in our new place and every time i need to announce myself like im an angel of god

bashcrandicoot:

“I don’t know what my goals are, no. Thanks for asking.”

verirothestar:

prokopetz:

Joking aside, the Millennium Falcon is not the space fantasy equivalent of a busted-ass old panel van.

The Millennium Falcon is the space fantasy equivalent of a busted-ass old panel van that’s inexplicably been hot-rodded to have a top speed of 300 miles per hour, which is substantially funnier.

cybergoth66:

nonebinary-leftbeef:

DEVASTATING the lyric you’ve been mishearing is better than the real one

latinotiktok:

soracities:

(1) the ruling class benefits from illiteracy.

(2) short-form video entertains more than it sticks.

(3) reading is a discipline distinct from listening, watching, or other forms of literacy. It’s a skill that needs to be honed separately.

(4) Absolutely no one comes to save us but us.ALT

“Absolutely no one comes to save us but us.”

Ismatu Gwendolyn, “you’ve been traumatized into hating reading (and it makes you easier to oppress)”, from Threadings, on Substack [ID’d]

hdra77:

Aw hell yeah iterator oc drop!!
they don’t exactly have a very deep lore so far since they’re just a fairly recent character so all you have to know about them is that they are indeed a cunning little shit and loves antagonizing other fellow iterators for the fun of it.

also their design is based off of a bearded vulture! i tried to atleast implement the bearded vulture’s color scheme to their design as much as possible
Their local group are all birds of prey inspired iterators! but uh the rest aren’t very important unless im bored enough to actually design them
- Nine burning skies or just nicknamed ‘Skies’ is located at the far up north, between the tall rocky mountains
- their antennae’s pretty expressive! they can bend it at will
- skies and their partner owns a pet cyan lizard named shrike (i would draw the guy but i can’t draw lizards)
- they LOVE fashion,history,jewelry and golden trinkets and another way for them to preserve the old forgotten memories from the past
- don’t separate them from silence. do not separate them.
they have some girlboss,gaslight,gatekeep vibes and honestly??they kinda do LMAO i think they would be leaning more towards gatekeeping
oh and didn’t i mention that they are gay and inlove? YES they are gay AND in love!! the iterator shown at the bottom right side is Languid Silence @strandedaylily ’s oc hi hello stares at you intensely i love xemm,,

oh also some extra additional art for them! the reason why i made this ref sheet is solely for artfight thanks artfight for making me make ref sheets of my ocs more often

they STARE

emma-dennehy-presents:

Get booped by Mr Fresh

sayruq:

The Lemkin Institute for Genocide has released a statement saying that Israel is committing genocide in Gaza and the United States is complicit. The statement was released in the aftermath of the horrific attack on a refugee camp in Rafah

In April, Lemkin also issued a genocide alert for the West Bank

lyonnerileyauthor:

horrors beyond my comprehension, sure, but not beyond my need to get ravaged by them

dangao444:

amaros-system:

reblog to pet prev