May 2024

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mastermatoyas:

scarabesque-returns:

secundus-cinaedus:

konigstigerr:

officialfist:

I feel genuine sympathy for this dude. He killed his whimsy for love.

free him

BALANCE IS RESTORED !!

I checked the guy’s Reddit account. He shaved it off because it was too high-maintenance and he was super busy after the birth of his daughter. Feel like the original Tumblr post is kind of implying that his wife pushed him to do it, which I’m happy to report isn’t the case!

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A Tumblr post with the text: "when a new media comes out and i have to navigate tumblrs shit ui to add the tag to my blacklist" end text, followed by a gif of Peter Griffin (from the show Family Guy) entering an extremely elaborate secret room.ALT

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batsarebetterthanpeople:

Tumblr is so intuitive to me that I’m fascinated by people who use algorithms. I was explaining to a Grindr date why I only use Tumblr and I explained that you can opt out of the algorithm and he was like “then what do you look at?” And that question was so crazy to me. What do you mean what do I look at? I look at the people I follow in reverse chronological order. I’m pretty sure that was the default before meta properties and Twitter got algorithms.

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pawpunkao3:

Dean Pelton when someone asks if he’s gay

I don't know / I'm bald / any other miscellaneous infinitely nuanced answerALT

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continent-of-wild-endeavor:

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cherrieblade:

what do you mean i can’t read every book, study every academic subject, taste every food, live in every city in every country, visit every museum, listen to every single song ever produced, learn every language, meet every interesting person, memorize every particle of knowledge to ever exist ???

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retrogamingblog2:

wise words from a crazed balloon animal

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purple-ladys-stuff:

Allowing “ANY MAN” to do “WHATEVER HE WANTS” with no consequences is 100% a CULT.

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coelii:

slymewitch:

The Pledge of Allegiance is some cult shit and nobody can convince me otherwise. Like, why do we ingrain it into our youths so early that loyalty to our country is so important that it’s the first thing we do everyday? Like I can’t promise that I wanna go to Canada when I’m old enough.

The modern pledge is actually far different than how it used to be. The original was decently tame in 1892:

“I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

The idea was to instill patriotism and unification following tensions that still existed after the civil war. In fact the first revision was to add the word “to” before “the republic” so speakers knew it could not be the rebel flag to which they pleged allegiance:

“I pledge allegiance to my Flag and [to] the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

In the 1920s, with immigration on the rise they wanted to ensure that immigrants were pledging loyalty to the United States and not to their home country so it was revised again:

“I pledge allegiance to my [the] Flag [of the United States of America] and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

And the final and most current revision occurred in 1954 during the Cold War, when Congress formally adopted this version which includes “under God” as it was meant to indicate that we were a nation with God on our side, in stark contrast to those “Godless Commies”:

“I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation [under God], indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

So yes the pledge is and always has been some cult shit.

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alpal-pie:

solarishashernoseinabook:

blanket-buddy:

clubpenguinkiller:

ech0light:

“unalive” should just mean the opposite of undead. if undead means a dead thing thats alive, unalive shuld mean an alive things thats dead. no i dont have any examples. ☝️yet

retail employees

Computers that still work but have become totally obsolete

grad students

Danny Phantom

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eremitical:

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tendie-defender:

rainbowgod666:

tendie-defender:

They will destroy nature and call it saving the planet.

Well yeah thats called capitalism now get on pipebombing them Execs

If it was upto CaPiTaLiSm then they would be using nuclear or natural gas for more profits.

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reagan-slayer69:

catchymemes:

skill issue. constantly horrifying myself and others with brand new sentences every day

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profeshinul-wizurd:

cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024:

what’s a bird you think you could beat up?

eagle

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cannibalchicken:

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phantom-locked:

ontopofgravity:

I asked one of my (male) friends to stop using the phrase “man up” and he has been using “fortify” for the past two weeks instead and it’s just a little thing but honestly it makes a difference

and tbh it’s also pretty funny when I start to deflate in the library and he leans over and goes “FORTIFY”

Dude, fortify is bangin’. That makes things like you’re some kind of RPG character. Fortify is way better than “man up.”

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the-lumpfish-king:

kira-serialfaggot:

foone:

Idea: you’re dating a reverse shapeshifter. They can’t change form, but they can change other people.

They’re bisexual with eclectic tastes and a thing for variety. Who knows what you’ll look like tonight?

They open a clinic and offer transitions for 5 bucks

Send them to protests to and have them do this to any cops that show u

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starlightomatic:

animentality:

tags from @floptopus

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hatsunemiku-official:

mikuheritageposts:

hatsunemiku-official:

mikuheritageposts:

miku

miku !

miku ..?

[nodding] miku……

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kaijuno:

kaijuno:

Hey sooooo I could use some help getting food today? My dono links are in my pinned post?

Cshapp | Vnmo | Paypl

could use some help with breakfast

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agentleem:

bacony-cakes:

xeansicemane:

haunted-80s-arcade-game-deactiv:

haunted-80s-arcade-game-deactiv:

Who’s contributed more to society?

furry porn artists

jk rowling

See Results

This is breaking containment into the TERF enclosures which I very much expected, but I will happily shout from the rooftops that furry porn artists are more productive and beneficial to society than JKR’s incessant whining on the elon musk dick riding app about how much she hates trans people

JKR: Wrote an okay children’s book series about how neoliberalism is great and any attempt to rectify the injustices of the world is literally unthinkable.

Furry Porn Artists: Force you to ask questions like “what is humanity”. They stand aside and outside looking in, seeing what we are and what we truly all yearn for: 14 werewolves behind an Arby’s.

@agentldiddy , priority alert! Get every hand on deck and help our comrades in blue, green, red, orange, yellow, black, white, pink, grey, purple, brown, and other colours win this battle!

Hell yeah, I summon the x-mutuals!

@ferno-does-random-shit @profeshinul-wizurd @apprentice-wizard-mr-mary-mack @jhomikle @mayhem-moth @terrencetheshark14 @casual-mitosis-collective @1dreana0 @mayhaps-am-mallard @viscerawizard @phlo0p @supersoupslut69420 @lukadjo @moonsfavoritedaughter @mersinia @mariheadspace @slimylittlemaggot @localtransmascfrog @detectivewizzard @slymewitch @the-thing-of-worms @fattocatto-wizard @magical-bear-dubin @number-1-haxorus-fan @qwertacius-boi @mayhem-moth-2 @willowplantcat @aroace-wizard @radio-to-trenchcoat-demons @the-frog-wizard-leep @asexualmisconduct @earthquakening @durgalmaple @that-0ne-loser-ky @fuitgummygirlthing @yourlocalbreadenthusiast @insertblogaesthetichere @littlepawzbigheart @username-not-registered @redpandalily @skull-ishcloud @cow-stealin-gal @wizard-at-large @kaithe-enby404 @peanutbutter-and-jellie @felixisfruity @funny-short-man @dehlsohl @hellavapid @good-wizard2 more to follow

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agentleem:

bacony-cakes:

xeansicemane:

haunted-80s-arcade-game-deactiv:

haunted-80s-arcade-game-deactiv:

Who’s contributed more to society?

furry porn artists

jk rowling

See Results

This is breaking containment into the TERF enclosures which I very much expected, but I will happily shout from the rooftops that furry porn artists are more productive and beneficial to society than JKR’s incessant whining on the elon musk dick riding app about how much she hates trans people

JKR: Wrote an okay children’s book series about how neoliberalism is great and any attempt to rectify the injustices of the world is literally unthinkable.

Furry Porn Artists: Force you to ask questions like “what is humanity”. They stand aside and outside looking in, seeing what we are and what we truly all yearn for: 14 werewolves behind an Arby’s.

@agentldiddy , priority alert! Get every hand on deck and help our comrades in blue, green, red, orange, yellow, black, white, pink, grey, purple, brown, and other colours win this battle!

Hell yeah, I summon the x-mutuals!

@ferno-does-random-shit @profeshinul-wizurd @apprentice-wizard-mr-mary-mack @jhomikle @mayhem-moth @terrencetheshark14 @casual-mitosis-collective @1dreana0 @mayhaps-am-mallard @viscerawizard @phlo0p @supersoupslut69420 @lukadjo @moonsfavoritedaughter @mersinia @mariheadspace @slimylittlemaggot @localtransmascfrog @detectivewizzard @slymewitch @the-thing-of-worms @fattocatto-wizard @magical-bear-dubin @number-1-haxorus-fan @qwertacius-boi @mayhem-moth-2 @willowplantcat @aroace-wizard @radio-to-trenchcoat-demons @the-frog-wizard-leep @asexualmisconduct @earthquakening @durgalmaple @that-0ne-loser-ky @fuitgummygirlthing @yourlocalbreadenthusiast @insertblogaesthetichere @littlepawzbigheart @username-not-registered @redpandalily @skull-ishcloud @cow-stealin-gal @wizard-at-large @kaithe-enby404 @peanutbutter-and-jellie @felixisfruity @funny-short-man @dehlsohl @hellavapid @good-wizard2 more to follow

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el-shab-hussein:

EMERGENCY

I just recieved horrible news from @nael-helles… their family’s refuge has been bombed, many of them are injured including him. Please please please help them.

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nuclearspaceheater:

gamefanatics:

The ends justifies the means

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lewvithur:

kybercrystalgems:

chadhulk:

I have mixed thoughts on sex work. I love sex, but I hate work!

“Yeah, we hate seeing you work too!”

Tumblr tags from user sharlothaven. "two old gays making fun of a young bear... just your regular night at a gay bar i guess"

how does this post keep getting better

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l4byr1nthz1:

eldritchgriffin:

id-f87:

Hm

@ faradaycockcage

Further evidence

In the second Sonic movie, he refers to him self as ‘hedgehog of the house’ in Tom’s absence instead of ‘man of the house’ further implying his gender is hedgehog

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90-ghost:

This is Rafah which the occupation army is preparing to enter and these small square-shaped plots are the tents of the displaced and they contain more than a million displaced people,reality on the ground is much worse than it appears from above,as there is no greater suffering..

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reverse-mermaid:

former gifted kids sound off in the comments lmao

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socialmaya:

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niksfake:

witchwardian:

twofingerswhiskey:

people who don’t wear glasses don’t get the added benefit of taking off your HD eyesight for a while. just. fuck it! i’m done. 240p vision time

I’ve seen enough.

so my tumblr app is doing this fun thing where it just shows me empty posts sometimes, because why not. and this one just really worked for me.

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twoshotsoffandom:

The lamb likes to tell dad jokes. Here is a collection of some of its best worst jokes

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thebreakfastgenie:

lieutenant-sapphic:

holy shit

this was so huge. the alien he’s arguing with uses standard pro-life arguments that you still hear today. he literally talks about all life being sacred (even though his plan to deal with overpopulation is to kill people with meningitis). and this aired only 4 years after contraception was legalized in the united states. in context this is actually even more pro-contraception than it appears in these caps. 

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blackiepi:

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blackiepi:

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blackiepi:

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blackiepi:

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voidheartkisses:

Shamura remembers Narinder a lot differently then their siblings do

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a-stoopid-person:

catchymemes:

@pukicho starting shit on Tumblr dot com

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puppygirldick:

liiiiiiiith:

foone:

cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024:

i found an article on PubMed outlining, like, the actual procedure of vaginoplasty, which is real neat and all, but it’s titled:

like a video game walkthrough

and it just

has not left my head

anyway very good article, would recommend, but SEVERE WARNING, there’s photos of the surgery itself and it’s a bit gory

Talking to my doc tomorrow so I’ll ask if they plan to do mine by following the appropriate gamefaqs

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demilypyro:

demilypyro:

Lots of cute trans women are coming over to my house to watch purple with me

Ugh

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were–ralph:

How much money do you have in your savings account as of right now? (USD$)

0

less than $100

$101 - $500

$501 - $1000

$1001 - $5000

$5000 - $10k

More than $10k

more than $50k

I do not use USD and would like to press a button

See Results

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apolladay:

Do you feel like you are a “continuation” of yourself from 10 years ago? Or do you feel like you-10-years-ago was a different person?

Yes, my 10-years-ago self was me

No, my 10-years-ago self was not me

Other/I don’t know/It’s complicated/Huh?

See Results

Another way of asking this is: are you diachronic or episodic? (Using those terms as Galen Strawson does.)

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cungadero:

cungadero:

theres literally no wrong way to play singleplayer games btw. savescum, play on easy mode, mod, look up guides and walkthroughs, whatever the hell you want. always remember if it sucks hit da bricks

since this is still being passed around theres actually a second gamer guilt thing we all must rise above and its that its completely fine to just do the evil route. or quicksaving and killing everyone just for the hell of it. never feel bad for doing that shit either you are spiritually giving jack thompson the finger every time you do it

Saves cum? Why would my saves cum

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ashes-in-a-jar:

Love the speculation and theorizing and anxiousness tmagp is bringing each week

Like can you imagine if this fandom would have been active since day 1 of tma? Do you know what happened in the first 14 episodes of tma?? Martin was talking to every Angela in Bexley. They knew absolutely nothing. Episode 13 was the first time we actually heard someone who wasn’t jon. The first episode any of the characters actually encounters a monster is only on episode 22 and we don’t even hear them live until episode 39. The tapes were only turning on when someone turned them on. And they kept doing so until 80 episodes later! Michael Distortion talked to us only on episode 47!!

Tmagp is speeding. It’s flying. Bonzo is holding our hand and zooming us towards a finale that will destroy us even before the actual finale will happen. Celia woke up on the side of the highway. Beth Eyre was released from the locked vault beneath the burned down Magnus institute. Fuckin Celia and Sam already went on a date while Alice canonically admits a crush on Sam. And we’re on episode 14. 14!! This is faster than most ‘slow burn’ tagged fics. Celia is Alice backwards.

Tmagp is so fast y'all I’m barely breathing from the whiplash

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l0verseyes:

gabriel’s new attack in brutal is pretty cool

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aflockofravens:

neometalpussy:

i don’t know man, i just wish that we could [suddenly realising i’m coming dangerously close to expressing a real and earnest thought instead of filtering everything through several layers of intangible running bits] blow up the entire world. or something.

(Tags by @reikurusu)

#We don’t do emotions around here #It’s finger guns and sarcasm ok

Too real, prev

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neometalpussy:

i don’t know man, i just wish that we could [suddenly realising i’m coming dangerously close to expressing a real and earnest thought instead of filtering everything through several layers of intangible running bits] blow up the entire world. or something.

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its-gita-time:

Okay, first of all: it is not at all surprising that tumblr is into this beef. at least half of being in fandom is beefing constantly, and the levels of haterdom that Kendrick Lamar has achieved are…… truly impressive and a little bit scary.

this is gonna be messy and not comprehensive but i’ve been thinking about this for like a week and there’s just so much……. context. there’s layers to this shit.

so let’s start at the beginning.

Keep reading

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nina-rosa:

what is he accused of 🌀🌀🌀

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i-am-aprl:

Leaflets have been dropped on Rafah by the IOF for evacuation orders to “temporary safe zones” in the middle of Gaza and other southern parts of Gaza. There are no safe zones in Gaza, these are blatant psychological games. There are 1.3+ million humans in Gaza, where are they supposed to go?


Leaflet photos: X: Mai_Gazan