April 2024

prokopetz:

Trapped in an endless cycle of resolving to write your own fanfic about your excruciatingly specific kink because nobody else fucking is, only to discover each time the work is complete that, in the process of writing it, it’s become so familiar to you that you can’t jerk off to it.

official-boob-posts:

penndragon:

antarctic-octopus:

theslowesthnery:

anyway i looked up the post about seeing your grandma’s boobs and tumblr has deleted the screenshot of the story where the finnish dude says that americans are “like that” because they haven’t seen their grandma’s tits

good job tumblr 👍

@official-boob-posts

official boob post

anton-exe:

affricative–collective:

chussy:

samo za božić

@anton-exe can i have a translation

this is checz or slovak or smth this ain’t polish

Croatian is what they call it.

This is a chart that positions itself as a useful flowchart thats supposed to help you choose which party to vote for the Parliamentary elections, but then it asks deranged questions like “How often do you masturbate”, “Do you fear women”, “Where were you during 1991” and “Which spaghetti sauce is the best"¹ (mixed in with a few more normal questions) and then assigns you a political party.


[ 1 ] All the options are different versions of the word tomato. (There’s a discourse about how only pretentious people use certain versions(see people who live in the capital))

morgueanlefay:

you know how sometimes it just feels so good to move and twist about in your bed? that’s your wormsona coming out

legalizememes:

smallest-feeblest-boggart:

the-hittite:

sexhaver:

sexhaver:

silverlightpony:

gayestgen:

scorch-mechanic:

goat-plushie:

Wait, there’s physical copies of Fallout Equestria? That’d have to be massive.

The first run was five hardbacks of progressively increasing girth. The stack is hefty, but the books are comfortable. Each chapter has chapter art too, which I consider a plus in all fantasy books.

Later runs were single-book softcover monstrosities. I think I saw another five-volume hardback run recently, but I’m not deeply involved in the fandom anymore.

The second print run was two volumes, hardback, with jackets.  Dunno about any subsequent runs.

I still think the 5-volume split was the best option.  It’s a big damn story.

(For anyone who hasn’t read it: yes, that’s a functional replica of the main character’s go-to weapon.  No, I didn’t customize it like that; I bought it from the person who did.)

anon PLEASE tell me your teacher is the author of this

Ok, I Kind of hate that I know this, but I’m pretty sure that anon’s teacher did NOT write the books the others are showing off. He wrote the darker, edgier and somehow even longer fanfic OF that fanfic called Project Horizons.

Original Fallout Equestria was written by someone known as Kkat who I’m 90% sure is a woman and the story only has some PG-13ish scenes at worst (you know, aside from the violence and gore that comes with a Fallout setting.) Project Horizons was written by a guy known as Somber, who I remember him mentioning in the post-chapter notes that he got fired for failing the wrong student once and the fic itself includes multiple explicit sex scenes.

it’s important to me u know what the 3rd printing looks like. please note the gilded pages

one of tumblr’s secret trump cards is its ability to deliver absolutely OBLITERATING gut punches like this post without any context or warning whatsoever

spotify-official:

Friendly reminder, cause I’ve seen a lot of these here lately, but anything that’s like ‘Reblog this or you’re bad’ is triggering for people with OCD and also just shitty to do in general

bibookmerm:

nowoyas:

nowoyas:

Still reeling from the realization that bullet journaling was essentially created to be a disability aid and got legit fuckin gentrified

Like I’m at work and don’t have the time to properly organize my thoughts atm but like.

-bullet journalling was invented by a man with a learning disability (99% sure it was ADHD but his website now just says learning disability so I can’t be 100%) as a system for organizing his life/way to work WITH his learning disability

-the general concept is bullet point the important things you need to do and use a simple system of symbols to mark whether it’s done, rescheduled, cancelled, etc. with very little fanfare, keeping it all in one notebook so you know where to easily find the information at a glance

-people pick it up and it starts getting popular

-bullet journaling becomes an aesthetic movement largely populated by white neurotypicals

-bullet journaling has turned into creating an extremely pretty notebook that has some function, but largely depends on complicated decoration and aesthetic function that takes more time to set up than is tenable for the people it was created for

-new entries to bullet journaling feel pressure to shop at particular stores, use particular brands, purchase lots of stationery purely for its aesthetic value, and prioritize the artistry of the pages rather than the information being stored on them

-people who would massively benefit from the original system can only really find information on it from members of the aesthetic movement. There is now a barrier to entry for ppl with ADHD and other similar conditions, as bullet journaling now requires a focus and motivation to start that these same people often lack or struggle to maintain consistently

-bullet journaling is no longer a disability aid and has become an aesthetic movement largely for middle class white neurotypicals, pushing out the people who the system was created for to begin with

This is the original guide from the person who made bullet journalling. Super simple. Not at all high maintenance.

It was eye-opening to rewatch this after getting used to bullet journal meaning “work of highly decorative art you might journal in if it doesn’t detract from the decoration” everywhere online.

libyan-knight:

GOD I HOPE THE SEMICONDUCTOR FACTORIES ARE FINE… the people too I guess

This is what the west really thinks of Taiwan

benzohoarder:

memorycycle:

before the slice people would just hammer the sandwich ingredients until it was flat

pollday:

Poll Day

Poll Day is an interactive narrative adventure about the nature of choice, the implications of free will, friends fighting against fate, ancient gods, and queerness.

Each part of the story is determined by a poll of what actions the main character takes. In that sense, the main character is controlled by the audience.

However, in order for that idea to work, there needs to be an audience. Anyone who would be interested is encouraged to follow the blog and choose to vote on the polls that appear with each story beat. Without a larger audience, the polls won’t make as much sense. There needs to be a larger sample size, so to speak. Also, consider reblogging this post if your followers or mutuals may be interested.

Poll Day will begin when this blog reaches 50 followers.

mclennonyaoi:

mclennonyaoi:

steal-this-album:

mclennonyaoi:

this is fucking ghoulish

ID: Tiktok captions reading “Taking my daughter to my laser hair removal appt [appointment] so she learns about self care and doesn’t feel guilty about it whe she gets older.” End ID

the way enforcing harmful and patriarchal beauty standards has gotten rebranded as “self care” and something that is no longer done to please men but now something that is “liberating” and something you do “for you” now is fucking insidious . taking your four year old daughter to watch you get laser hair removal is not “teaching her about self care” it’s teaching her that there is something wrong with her from a very young age, and that she’ll need to spend the rest of her life getting it fixed . you cannot reframe indoctrinating your own fucking daughter into this as a girlboss self care queen move . this is insane.

self care is when you shave your legs… for yourself! self care is when you get a nose job…. for yourself! self care is when you when you spend 200$ on wellness products and diet tips and buy buy buy so much makeup that you need to put on everytime you leave the house or else you are an ugly pig … for yourself! self care girl slayyy you are so hashtag crushing the patriarchy. i want to kill myself.

import–math–geek–math-rand:

catboybiologist:

i-say-ok:

optimysticals:

faunwood:

novacaineandabelle:

dazed-unfazed:

crilbyte:

Oh shit. No.
Shit.
Thank you

Just gonna reblog this out of gratitude because I actually did forget…

Fffffffff let me get right on that. 

and then reblog for the next forgetful son of a bitch

I’m so great full for everyone that is reblogging this. I totally forgot to take mine

I think that there is some sort of unspoken fairy godparent thing where you see this, realize that you forgot your meds, and rebagel it because if you forgot someone else must have. And in our turn we all take care of each other, even if we don’t know it.

ok!

RIGHT I have to take an extra E dose now lol

[Image ID: a drawing of a pill bottle with the text, “did you remember to take your meds today?” /End ID]

sumi-sprite:

matriarchyuzi:

mini-golf-champion:

regionalatbest:

i think that the “i do not control the ____” memes are generally tame and do not lend enough credence to the genuine absurdity of the original line that is

I saw this and remembered that I had this thread saved in a folder and figured this would be a good time to bring it out

READ THE WHOLE THING. I cannot garuntee that you will be pleased, but I can guarantee that it is one HELL of a rollercoaster.

Not gonna lie, I thought this was going to be the famous chain summarizing the greek gods with this one image with words added or crossed out.

I wasn’t disappointed regardless.

tomcruisingthroughlife:

thecosmicapple:

this is still like my favourite fact ever

salamispots:

didn’t get to boopin everyone but it was fun haha

alinkletothepast:

brosequartz:

peachesnturnips:

A developer just explained why Link cries out whenever he puts on a transformation mask.

what the fuck?

It’s very simple!

meret118:

aw-dag:

aw-dag:

You know every show that the premise is like “people find out ghosts/monsters/demons are real and are charged with stopping them” appeal to me way more now as a post-graduate not because I believe in ghosts more or whatever but because can you IMAGINE just being handed a job that you don’t even need to apply for? Like just being told “basically there’s this bad thing and all you do is make sure it doesn’t do what it wants” that’s just customer service baby and I worked that for 6 goddamn years! Just TRY getting past “I have a job to offer you” before I can jump down your throat agreeing.

some idiot with a dumb ghost-hunting name who joined the Cause because they love the paranormal: oh fuck oh shit this is really scary guys I’m having second thoughts

me, who knows that if we run away I have to apply to like, a real actual Jobbe again: wakey wakey demons it’s this or retail so guess who’s got nothing to lose

:

ihavechangedthisname:

official-time-loop-posts:

catgirltoes:

timeflow:

ospreyonthemoon:

ospreyonthemoon:

sadoeuphemist:

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”

“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Climb aboard, then!” But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown. “Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.” 

“I can’t help it,” said the scorpion. “It’s my nature.”

___

…But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the frog felt a subtle motion on its back, and in a panic dived deep beneath the rushing waters, leaving the scorpion to drown.

“It was going to sting me anyway,” muttered the frog, emerging on the other side of the river. “It was inevitable. You all knew it. Everyone knows what those scorpions are like. It was self-defense.”

___

…But no sooner had they cast off from the bank, the frog felt the tip of a stinger pressed lightly against the back of its neck. “What do you think you’re doing?” said the frog.

“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”

They swam in silence to the other end of the river, where the scorpion climbed off, leaving the frog fuming.

“After the kindness I showed you!” said the frog. “And you threatened to kill me in return?”

“Kindness?” said the scorpion. “To only invite me on your back after you knew I was defenseless, unable to use my tail without killing myself? My dear frog, I only treated you as I was treated. Your kindness was as poisoned as a scorpion’s sting.”

___

…“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”

“You have a point,” the frog acknowledged. “But once we get to dry land, couldn’t you sting me then without repercussion?”

“All I want is to cross the river safely,” said the scorpion. “Once I’m on the other side I would gladly let you be.”

“But I would have to trust you on that,” said the frog. “While you’re pressing a stinger to my neck. By ferrying you to land I’d be be giving up the one deterrent I hold over you.”

“But by the same logic, I can’t possibly withdraw my stinger while we’re still over water,” the scorpion protested.

The frog paused in the middle of the river, treading water. “So, I suppose we’re at an impasse.”

The river rushed around them. The scorpion’s stinger twitched against the frog’s unbroken skin. “I suppose so,” the scorpion said.

___


A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Absolutely not!” said the frog, and dived beneath the waters, and so none of them learned anything.

___

A scorpion, being unable to swim, asked a turtle (as in the original Persian version of the fable) to carry it across the river. The turtle readily agreed, and allowed the scorpion aboard its shell. Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell. The turtle, swimming placidly, failed to notice.

They reached the other side of the river, and parted ways as friends.

___


…Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell.

The turtle, hearing the tap of the scorpion’s sting, was offended at the scorpion’s ungratefulness. Thankfully, having been granted the powers to both defend itself and to punish evil, the turtle sank beneath the waters and drowned the scorpion out of principle.

___


A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” sneered the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back.”

The scorpion pleaded earnestly. “Do you think so little of me? Please, I must cross the river. What would I gain from stinging you? I would only end up drowning myself!”

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Even a scorpion knows to look out for its own skin. Climb aboard, then!”

But as they forged through the rushing waters, the scorpion grew worried. This frog thinks me a ruthless killer, it thought. Would it not be justified in throwing me off now and ridding the world of me? Why else would it agree to this? Every jostle made the scorpion more and more anxious, until the frog surged forward with a particularly large splash, and in panic the scorpion lashed out with its stinger.

“I knew it,” snarled the frog, as they both thrashed and drowned. “A scorpion cannot change its nature.”

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. The frog agreed, but no sooner than they were halfway across the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown.

“I’ve only myself to blame,” sighed the frog, as they both sank beneath the waters. “You, you’re a scorpion, I couldn’t have expected anything better. But I knew better, and yet I went against my judgement! And now I’ve doomed us both!”

“You couldn’t help it,” said the scorpion mildly. “It’s your nature.” 

___

…“Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.”

“Alas, I was of two natures,” said the scorpion. “One said to gratefully ride your back across the river, and the other said to sting you where you stood. And so both fought, and neither won.” It smiled wistfully. “Ah, it would be nice to be just one thing, wouldn’t it? Unadulterated in nature. Without the capacity for conflict or regret.”

___

“By the way,” said the frog, as they swam, “I’ve been meaning to ask: What’s on the other side of the river?”

“It’s the journey,” said the scorpion. “Not the destination.”

___

…“What’s on the other side of anything?” said the scorpion. “A new beginning.”

___

…”Another scorpion to mate with,” said the scorpion. “And more prey to kill, and more living bodies to poison, and a forthcoming lineage of cruelties that you will be culpable in.”

___

…”Nothing we will live to see, I fear,” said the scorpion. “Already the currents are growing stronger, and the river seems like it shall swallow us both. We surge forward, and the shoreline recedes. But does that mean our striving was in vain?”

___

“I love you,” said the scorpion.

The frog glanced upward. “Do you?”

“Absolutely. Can you imagine the fear of drowning? Of course not. You’re a frog. Might as well be scared of breathing air. And yet here I am, clinging to your back, as the waters rage around us. Isn’t that love? Isn’t that trust? Isn’t that necessity? I could not kill you without killing myself. Are we not inseparable in this?”

The frog swam on, the both of them silent.

___

“I’m so tired,” murmured the frog eventually. “How much further to the other side? I don’t know how long we’ve been swimming. I’ve been treading water. And it’s getting so very dark.”

“Shh,” the scorpion said. “Don’t be afraid.”

The frog’s legs kicked out weakly. “How long has it been? We’re lost. We’re lost! We’re doomed to be cast about the waters forever. There is no land. There’s nothing on the other side, don’t you see!”

“Shh, shh,” said the scorpion. “My venom is a hallucinogenic. Beneath its surface, the river is endlessly deep, its currents carrying many things.” 

“You - You’ve killed us both,” said the frog, and began to laugh deliriously. “Is this - is this what it’s like to drown?” 

“We’ve killed each other,” said the scorpion soothingly. “My venom in my glands now pulsing through your veins, the waters of your birthing pool suffusing my lungs. We are engulfing each other now, drowning in each other. I am breathless. Do you feel it? Do you feel my sting pierced through your heart?”

“What a foolish thing to do,” murmured the frog. “No logic. No logic to it at all.”

“We couldn’t help it,” whispered the scorpion. “It’s our natures. Why else does anything in the world happen? Because we were made for this from birth, darling, every moment inexplicable and inevitable. What a crazy thing it is to fall in love, and yet - It’s all our fault! We are both blameless. We’re together now, darling. It couldn’t have happened any other way.”

___


“It’s funny,” said the frog. “I can’t say that I trust you, really. Or that I even think very much of you and that nasty little stinger of yours to begin with. But I’m doing this for you regardless. It’s strange, isn’t it? It’s strange. Why would I do this? I want to help you, want to go out of my way to help you. I let you climb right onto my back! Now, whyever would I go and do a foolish thing like that?”

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”

“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”  

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Come aboard, then!” But no sooner had the scorpion mounted the frog’s back than it began to sting, repeatedly, while still safely on the river’s bank.

The frog groaned, thrashing weakly as the venom coursed through its veins, beginning to liquefy its flesh. “Ah,” it muttered. “For some reason I never considered this possibility.”

“Because you were never scared of me,” the scorpion whispered in its ear. “You were never scared of dying. In a past life you wore a shell and sat in judgement. And then you were reborn: soft-skinned, swift, unburdened, as new and vulnerable as a child, moving anew through a world of children. How could anyone ever be cruel, you thought, seeing the precariousness of it all?” The scorpion bowed its head and drank. “How could anyone kill you without killing themselves?”

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river.

“To be honest,” said the desert rain frog. “I’m the wrong kind of frog for that.”

“Oh,” said the scorpion.

“I was hoping to find someone to carry me across, myself.” It admitted.

“Oh,” The scorpion said. “Well, we can wait together.”

And they sat, and spoke, and when a turtle happened to pass along, they both ventured together, and the scorpion was too busy sharing words to ever think of stinging.

“Actually,” said the scorpion, as it climbed onto the frog’s back, “My sting is harmless.”

“Oh really?” Said the frog, as it began to swim.

“Yes,” the scorpion waved the small stinger about. “The poison is useless to anything larger than a beetle. I can’t threaten you with it at all, you see, so you don’t really need to worry about it at all.”

The frog, now freed from the fear of death, began preparing to dive.

“Although,” the scorpion continued as it felt the frog slow down, “do not think me entirely defenceless.”

“Why not?” Said the frog. “All you have is your claws. And they aren’t sharp enough to pierce my skin.”

“No, they are not,” agreed the scorpion, getting a good hold of the frog’s shoulders. “But they are strong. They need to be, to hold my prey so my weak venom has time to work.”

“But they will not kill me.”

“No. But there are other ways to hurt.” The scorpion tightened its grip, letting the teeth of its claws sink into the skin.

“You will drown me, of course, but my claws will remain locked. My drowned corpse will hang over your shoulders, right here, claws buried in you. And everyone who sees you will see it. And they will see my frail little body, and my weak little stinger. And you will drown me, yes, but for the rest of your life everyone will know that you took the life of a creature that was no danger to you for no greater sin than that you did not want to grant them passage. You will never escape the weight of me on your back, waiting to be carried to the afterlife you delivered me to.”

The frog was silent, for a while, before it continued to swim. “I think I would have preferred you with a stinger that worked.”

The scorpion relaxed its grip. “And I would have preferred to not have to use it.”

“Do you know how many times we’ve done this?” Asked the frog, eyes flicking back to its passenger. “I can’t remember how long it’s been.”

“A million lives.” Purred the scorpion, claws nestled up to the frog’s neck. “A million lives now, with this one. And it never matters until we’re here.”

“I’m glad it’s us.” Said the frog, letting the tide sweep it away. “I’m glad even after a million lives, we always find each other.”

The scorpion clung tight, even as the water seeped into its carapace. “I’d never die with anyone else, my love.”

Hopelessly entangled, they faded into oblivion.

A chicken stood at the edge of a road, watching the cars go by.

“Is this all there is?” It asked.

“I don’t know.” Said the fox across from it, brushing some grass from it’s foot.

“But it might be nice to find out.”

-but no sooner had the frog gotten halfway across the river did a great catfish rise up, mouth so wide they could not escape.

“Oh, foolish frog and foolish bug.” It said, voice full of pity as it swallowed them both. “Your eyes glued to the most obvious threat, did you never think there were greater things to fear in a river as deep and wide as this?”

And the catfish swam off, to find more frogs to devour.

“Sorry?” The scorpion paused, confused. “Sting you? Why on earth would I do that?

“Well,” said the frog. “It’s in your nature to, isn’t it?”

“No, not at all!” The scorpion said, voice tinged with insult. “We don’t run around stabbing everything we see. That’s a good way to start a fight you can’t win. A stinger is just for catching food and fending off predators, really. It’s no more my nature to sting everything as it is your nature to drown everything. And you don’t do that, do you!”

The frog scowled, petulant at the tone. “Well, the scorpion I usually see here almost always stings me…”

“That seems like you’re projecting problems with one scorpion onto every scorpion you meet.” Said the scorpion. “I’m not really sure I trust you to take me across the river, frankly. Do you know if there’s another frog who could help?”

The frog grumbled, and slipped into the water.

The chicken stood on the banks of the river with it’s children. A fox sat on the other bank, with a bag of corn.

“Hoy, chicken.” Shouted the fox. “Do you ever think you might be stuck in a rut?”

“What’s it to you?” The chicken said, flapping a wing in annoyance. “My life is my own business, fox.”

The fox shrugged, pawing at the corn. “I just feel like I can’t get out of this cycle,” it said with a sigh. “Like my life is stuck on rails.”

“On rails?” The scorpion asked. “What do you mean?”

“My whole life is just this river-”

“This road-”

“This boat-”

“And it feels like it doesn’t change. It feels like I’m always just here. In the river, with you.”

“Is it such a bad place to be?” Asked the fox.

“With me?”

“How long do you think the river has been here?” Asked the scorpion.

The frog thought about that until the poison had seeped into its bones.

“As long as us,” it whispered, as its lungs gave out. “As long as we’ve needed it.”

“You’re not swimming right.” Said the scorpion, pinching the frog’s arm.

“You need to kick round with the back legs, push with the front, like this-” gently, it pushed the frog’s limbs into the correct position.

“Oh, thank you.” Said the frog. “I’m no good at this. I’ve never been a frog before.”

“You’re doing brilliantly, my dear.” The scorpion said, trying to reassure. “I would have taught you earlier if I could have.”

“And I would have taught you to walk.” The frog laughed, kicking much stronger now. “If only I’d known you didn’t know! I saw you stumbling over the sands there.”

“I’ve never had so many legs!” The scorpion wailed. “How do you manage them all? And the eyes!”

They were not making it across the river very fast.

“I don’t mind only having two eyes.” The frog admitted. “I could get used to it.”

Despite the tutoring, the frog was getting exhausted, weak muscles failing in strong currents.

The scorpion tried to kick at the water, but its frail carapace only dredged in the currents, dragging them both down further.

“Oh, we’re no good at it this way around.” The scorpion said with a shake of its tail, claws clinging so strongly to the frog’s gossamer skin that it ripped open, spilling the entrails like ruby ribbons into the depths.

The frog laughed, choking on the water it didn’t know how to breathe. “I can’t swim, and you won’t sting! Oh, how our natures fail us still!”

And the river claimed them both once more.

“Do you remember a time before the riverbank?” Asked the fox.

“Do you remember anything after it?” The Chicken countered, head stuck in the bag of corn as it ate its fill. “Is there anything but the pursuit of what we will never grasp?”

“Maybe we will grasp it,” the fox’s voice was tinged with hope, tail tucked tightly around its legs. “Maybe one day, we will be more than our natures, and we will not have to cross the river again.”

“I like the thrill of it.” Said the chicken. “I’d miss the thrill of it.”

The fox sighed, and lowered its head down to the chicken, already doomed to bite. “But still, wouldn’t it be nice?”

But alas, the rains had been heavy, and the river bank had become swollen and wide.

The frog kicked for what felt like an eternity, the scorpion holding steady on its back.

Eventually it could swim no longer, and its legs seized up, as it gasped for air.

“I’m sorry, my love-” the frog wheezed. “I don’t think I can make it-”

“It’s okay.” The scorpion’s voice was soft with sadness, knowing now that it was doomed to die. “I didn’t know it would be so hard. I’m sorry I did this to you. I’m sorry I couldn’t help.”

“It’s not your fault,” said the frog, as the currents began to sweep them both downstream. “I wanted to help, I- I really thought I could get you there, I, we were so close -”

“We really were, weren’t we?” The scorpion’s hold on the frog was loosening, as its head swam from lack of oxygen. “We almost made it, we really did…”

The frog wailed in grief as the scorpion’s body was torn away, swallowed by the churning rapids.

A scorpion walked across an old riverbed. The smooth pebbles had long laid bare, the river dried up thousands of years ago.

It paused in the middle, overcome with a strange pain in its chest, and decided to turn back.

It felt wrong to cross this river alone.

“Where do you think the cars go?” Asked the fox.

The chicken watched a car drive by, seeing the shadowy shapes move within. “I try not to think about it. I want to be happy with my lot in life.”

-and no sooner had the frog gotten halfway across the river when the scorpion tapped its stinger against the frog’s back to get its attention.

“Hey,” said the scorpion. “I’m not really in that much of a rush, and it’s a beautiful day. Why don’t we just go up the river instead? I’ve always wanted to try standing on a lilypad.”

“Sure, if you’d like.” Said the frog. “I don’t have any plans for the day.

And while the river remained uncrossed, neither of them were unhappy about this.

“When did you know you loved me?” Asked the turtle, as the scorpion clung onto its back, hiding from the deep currents of the river.

The scorpion winced as a wave shook them. “Oh, from the start.” it said, shaking water from its tail. “Or near enough. I’d never met a frog before. And even though you didn’t know me, you laid your life on the line for me. For hope that the impossible was possible.”

The turtle considered that, thinking back across its many lives.

“I don’t think I knew I loved you until recently.” The turtle admitted, lifting its head from the water so its voice could be soft. “It took time, I think, to know. But that said, why else would I come back, time and time again to the same spot of the same river?”

“You have a world of rivers you could be in, my love.” The scorpion agreed. “And yet I always wait for you here. And you always come.”

“I’ve never been as vulnerable as I’ve been with you.” Even as the water licked up its shell, the turtle continued to swim. “I’d never trust my life to anyone else.”

“Here’s to us,” said the scorpion, raising its stinger. “And the river.”

“Here’s to us.” Said the turtle, raising a flipper to sting. “I hope we always find each other.”

“Well here we are,” said the frog to the scorpion. “The other side.”

“Here we are.” The scorpion agreed, slowly climbing off its back. “Thank you, for all of this.”

“Thank you for choosing me.” Said the frog. “Thank you for chaining my lives together. For helping me remember the infinity of Us.”

The scorpion didn’t answer, simply looking up, letting the sun warm its carapace.

“I’ve never really left the river.” The frog took another step onto the bank. “It’s… nice.”

The scorpion turned. For a moment, the frog felt the surge of adrenaline as it felt a pinch on its skin, only to find the scorpion had clasped its claw around their hand. “Come with me.” It pleaded, voice soft with urgency. “Come with me, and don’t say no. I won’t leave this river without you. We can see the other side together.”

Those claws could slice, but they were only firm. The river was only the river. But from the banks the frog could see a jungle of lush green, vibrant with life beyond its knowledge. It laughed. “I’ve always wondered what it was like out there.”

And the river was silent, with no moral questions to burden it.

That’s because i only added this bit this morning. I think its pretty good

I think it’s beautiful. thank you for making this

[image: a tag: “this is one of my favorite posts of all time but I’ve never seen this version of it”]

Official Time Loop Post

This is genuinely incredibly beautiful

cat-heritage-posts:

ripempezardexerox:

babel heritage post

lockea:

I’ve been seeing a lot of Discourse around outdoor cats that talks past one of the biggest problems addressing community cats/outdoor working cats so I thought I’d chime in with my two cents.

Many arguments I see just… don’t think about the cats at all? Or don’t consider the logistics of actually addressing the feral cat problem in a humane way. It’s always about how outdoor cats shouldn’t be outdoors, which is neither realistic nor helpful.

I used to volunteer at an municipal animal shelter in the USA that had a TNR program (Trap, Neuter, Return) and also adopted out community cats to local farms and businesses. Here’s my side of the story.

“Your cat doesn’t need to be outside” – Yes, correct. Your domesticated (non-feral) house cat does not need to go outside at all. They can have a fully actualized life safely indoors. When I see this argument, proponents of indoor only cats are correct in most or all their arguments regarding this.

“Outdoor cats are the largest invasive species in the world, and decimate bird populations.” – This is also correct, and part of the reason why you can help by bringing your house cat indoors. Cats are the largest invasive species. Spay and Neuter your cats, bring them inside, and socialize them so they don’t become feral.

“TNR doesn’t work.” – False. Whether we like it or not, feral cats exist. We have two methods by which we can address the feral cat population – decimating them (humanely euthanizing the whole colony) or TNR. For a long time, euthanasia was the preferred way to address the feral cat problem. Afterall, if the cats aren’t there, doesn’t that save the local wildlife population?

Except that we found, studying these colonies, that when a colony is wiped out, the cats of another colony will spread into their territory and continue to have kittens and the population of feral cats is neither controlled nor diminished.

Hence, TNR. What we found performing TNR on cat colonies was that this controlled the population of the colonies, allowing them to stay in their territory, which kept other colonies from spreading (especially colonies we hadn’t performed TNR on yet). We at the shelter felt this was the most humane way to control the feral cat population and safely deflate their existence without dealing with the population blooms that euthanasia caused.

“What about kittens?” – Kittens from these colonies were brought into the shelter, socialized, and fostered out until they could be adopted. Some of these semi-feral kittens needed special homes to be adopted into, but this was the best quality of life for these cats.

“What about cats that get missed during TNR?” – We would return to the colony several times over a period of several years to perform TNR on the same colony. We mark cats that have been neutered by clipping their ear (this is done humanely, but is the most reliable way to tell if a cat has been neutered so the poor thing doesn’t have to have surgery 3-4 times in their life). Also, during the TNR process the cats would be vaccinated to ensure disease did not spread from the colony (i.e. rabies). Still, even getting 60% of the colony TNR’d would dramatically reduce the number of kittens being added to the colony each year. This controlled the population by allowing the territory to naturally deflate in size over time, buying us time to address the larger feral cat problem.

“What if the colony was in an unsafe location?” – There were two ways we addressed unsafe colony locations – remember, we know that when the colony is removed, a new colony will move into its place, so we tried not to move the colony unless we really felt the cats or the public was unsafe – one was to move the whole colony to a new location. Preferably someplace like a warehouse where we have an agreement with the owners of the warehouse. Some of the cats were even relocated to shelter grounds as our community cats. If the colony was small enough we would bring them into our Feral Cats room and adopt them out as community cats.

“What is a community cat?” – The way the program worked, was that anyone who needed a working cat could apply to the program. These were often rural farmers or businesses with warehouses that needed rodent protection. We trained the farmers and businesses on how to acclimatize the cats to their new home, and as part of the agreement, they had to care for the cats (veterinary care, vaccinations, food and water). This gave businesses and farms an alternative to expensive and environmentally unfriendly rodent control, and also gave these feral cats good places to live out their natural lives.

“Can’t you just adopt out feral cats?” – No. Cats that have not been socialized around humans as kittens, or who have several generations of feral cat in them could not interact with humans in a way that did not cause them undue stress. This was not a humane way to handle feral cats. However, when a cat was brought into the feral cat room, they would be monitored for up to a week. If the cat displayed signs of being semi-social or fully social (hanging out outside of their den, allowing staff to pet them, showing interest in staff in the room), then we would either move the cat into the adoption room or place them in foster to be socialized before adoption. Feral cats who displayed signs of being able to live full and healthy lives with human companions were NOT adopted out as community cats. We also observed this behavior during TNRs and would do the same for those cats too.

“But aren’t cats bad hunters?” – Compared to other species, cats are not the most effective form of rodent control. This is true. However, you have to understand that feral cats exist. There is no “undo” button we can push to stop them from existing. We have to deal with the problem we have right now, which is to safely and humanely decrease the number of feral cats in our communities. And yes, we do that by using cats as rodent control in the community.

“What can I do?” – Stop saying community cats shouldn’t exist. That’s not helpful and doesn’t solve the problem we have. Bring your cat indoors. Spay and neuter your cats. Adopt from shelters. Volunteer with a TNR team. Support TNR efforts in your community. Recognize that those of us actively dealing with the community/feral problem are trying to do what is in the best interest of our communities and the animals we love. We aren’t sitting over here saying these cats should exist – a feral cat will not have the same quality of life as one that is indoors with a family – but we have to address the problem in practical terms. We don’t have the moral high ground to just do nothing while pontificating solutions that have no basis in actuality.

And yes, it’s okay to celebrate community cats. If your local farm has a couple of working cats, that means that farm is helping participate in the safe deflation of the feral cat population. Don’t shame a farm or business for using community cats. We’re all doing the best we can to solve the problem that we have.

capacity2:

capacity2:

You can’t let this stupid ass evil world rob you of your vibe don’t let them do that to u

I taught that man everything he knows

anneemay:

This is fucking insane

sacredstem:

posting is a trauma response to thinking

nightpool:

dyke-pollinator:

She’ll fuck me if I cook good enough I know it

#billions of humans have thought this same thing over the course of the species’ history #and they were right

roycohn:

once again thinking about this banger

mclennonyaoi:

elon musk made this racist ass tweet and a bunch of alt right christian bros are mad at him in his comments because he believes in dinosaurs. there is not even a joke to be made here atp

ironmyrmidon:

northshorewave:

“Not beating the ___ allegations” is such a ‘now’ turn of phrase, implying as it does a world where everyone’s behavior is always on literal trial by a guilt-presuming judge and jury that consists of anyone who happens to be paying attention.

Not beating the panopticon allegations

segretecose:

friendly reminder that YOU 🫵 can make even the most relaxing innocuous activities into high stress situations if you’re mentally ill enough. always believe in yourself and your incapacity to conquer catastrophic thinking!

zoethesportsblog:

it’s cool how these cost almost as much as my house

chaumas-deactivated20240115:

thanks to this workplace harassment training video my coworkers and I now say this to each other on a near-daily basis

kleefkruid:

I was typing an entire post about food issues and why I don’t like wet food, until I remembered that unlike in Dutch, ‘wet food’ has a specific meaning in English. Just straight up deleted everything bc all I could see myself as was

no-passaran:

triviallytrue:

what was wrong with this guy’s parents

The same as this guys’

Hitler v Lennin: Peru mayoral election is a historical showdown. Hitler Alba is seeking a new term as mayor of the town of Yungar, but faces competition from Lennin Vladimir Rodríguez Valverde. Reuters in Lima. 21 September 2018.ALT

wasteland-heresy:

ladymirdan:

machinespirited:

Blah blah geneseed and all that but I think it would improve the game environment if there were space marines of color, yknow? No reason beyond big E being a white guy (and the fascism the game fails to properly criticize) for the elite genetically engineered fighting force to be all white dudes

You dont read a lot of Ultramarine books do you?

Ferren Areios, Decimus Felix, Petronus Nero, Kaetan, Barkha.

I just woke up and could mention at least a handful without looking them up, and im probably missing some really important ones because im groggy and stupid.

Im not even taking into account the ones we never got a description of what they look like, they could have any skincolour outside of the readers bias.

And also, just look at the new primaris bareheaded sculpts. They are so beautiful and full of personality, and absolutely lends themselves into trying out to paint different skintones.

Even the Emperor Children, a legion whose gene-seed is known to radically change the appearance of the marines to look just like Fulgrim have darker skinned marines.

Are there people on like Reddit claming space marines can’t be black? Yeah, but they are idiots who don’t care about the source material and just want to fight some stupid culture war. And I feel like leaning into and entertaining that anything they say is even remotely legitimate is harmful to the hobby as a whole.


(no im not gonna touch the subject that the emperor is middle-eastern because his art doesn’t really reflect that and that is really on GW)


Sorry but “One in four people on this cover is obviously black! Racism is dead!” Is not actually the scorching take you’re presenting it as.

I am going to be the last person to expect perfection from any profit driven corporation and I’m not trying to argue that GW is uniquely evil or something, but this is an extremely fair criticism of WH media at large.

Literally everyone in this thread pointing to the handful of obviously black characters from official art and minis as proof that GW has met its diversity quota and has nothing left to improve on are actually the ones who sound like chugs arguing that any more than one black dude and a lady per cast is ‘woke.’

OP is not personally attacking your blorbos, why tf are we going after them harder than the actual fascists who ar in this fandom and on this website?

Here are the people you’re empowering to comment btw:

worldheritageposts-official:

robot-hands-mccoolguy:

sparkafterdark:

tyrannosarcophagous:

nerdgul:

sparkafterdark:

witchchad:

totallyfubar:

sparkafterdark:

momunofu:

dadurl:

momunofu:

chillin on a Saturday night

Calm down jojo

you’re right, I am looking a little stiff here, I should try to relax

image

You call that “chillin”?

Everyone knows the best way to relax is with a good book and a warm drink

I dunno, man,

image

 sometimes I like just relaxing on my laptop

image

get on my level boys

Unfortunately to “get on your level” I’d need a boat trip to the Mariana Trench and a pair of cinderblock shoes.

Thats gotta be the sickest burn ive ever read holy fuck

this post appears once every million years

I kept hoping someone else would one up me and I’d have to escalate even further but nobody has.

I don’t think it’s possible to one up you

World Heritage Post

floofy1224:

laikabu:

hamptercatapult:

herpsandbirds:

Chuckwalla (Sauromalus ater) hatchling, family Iguanidae, found in the southwestern U.S. and NW Mexico

photograph by Innovative Ectotherms

scheming…. plotting… conniving….. decieving… while i let it all hang out…… i shall bite your hand and skitter away to wedge myself into a crevice after this… all part of my dastardly existence………. and i just hatched today. tomorrow? well. thats for you to find out. 😈 🦎

red-heart-sunglasses:

kittydeathcult:

sourcreammachine:

apparently it’s early-stage cancer

day officially ruined :(

one-time-i-dreamt:

There was a new LGBT+ acronym, and it was twig etc. (it had to be in lowercase for some reason). It stood for trans, Welsh, intersex, and gay. Everyone else was etc. It was very controversial.

pitbolshevik:

when i block people it’s their fault for being annoying. when people block me it’s their fault for misinterpreting the brilliant things i say on my tumblr blog

jecook:

powpowhammer:

faded blue house portrait hanging on the wall at the local urgentcare

santumerino:

A Tweet by user @SparrowAdorer: "Password must contain at least one special character" all characters are special. Language is a beautiful miracle.ALT

Source

lokidokeyartichoki:

“phones are disrupting natural sleep cycles” I mean true but also bold of you to assume I had one before the tech boom lol catch me out here reading chapter books by the light of my light up pens in the third grade

dykecostanza-deactivated2024112:

hotvampireadjacent:

This kitty looks so mad

reallybadblackoutpoems:

animal farm (1945) - george orwell

“womp womp”

pearlpoet:

post-post clarity when you’re looking at your post on the dash like who gives a fuck. delete

r-si: