✨ Please reblog the polls to make them reach out to as many people as possible, but KEEP IT SPOILER-FREE to make people listen to the music with an open mind 💖 Artists and titles will be revealed after the poll’s conclusion, check the original post for an update! ✨
hey boss i can’t come in today it’s a sunny day and there’s a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it’s rustling the branches of the tree outside that’s finally bloomed so it’s pretty serious
“Why do my mashed potatoes never taste like restaurant mashed potatoes” because restaurant mashed potatoes are, according to most published recipes, roughly 15% milk fat by volume. They’re basically potato-flavoured whipped cream.
wow players having to stand in lines for a quest because a relevant npc can only talk to one player at a time. is the funniest image on the planet
i need to correct this: wow classic doesn’t have any npcs that can only talk to one player at a time. these lines actually formed for a quest npc that players had to kill to complete the objective. knowing that i think this image is even funnier.
Literally this
My favourite is the guy saying, “This is like being at the dmv”
little thingy from the other week, stuff on my mind
I agree with the point of the comic but the idea a wildlife camera is part of this is sending me. Wildlife cameras are fucking awesome and are very often helping people do science to check on wildlife populations and more. No one’s putting a camera on a mountain to spy on you.
this one needs a little more context than i gave it: it wasn’t a wildlife cam, it was pointed specifically at an abandoned camp structure that people like to graffiti
My favorite pirate joke is “why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at c” not because it’s THAT funny but because it’s a relatively simple joke that nobody ive told it to has ever correctly guessed the punchline for because they all think it’s gonna be a joke about arrrr
Another classic is
“Why couldn’t the pirates play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck!”
For more hilarious pirate jokes like these go to google and type pirate jokes into the search bar and click search
When I had open heart surgery, they gave me ‘happy shots’ to calm me for the prep. I don’t remember anything past them prepping the second happy shot.
I come out, spend hospital recovery time as usual, but the nurse who prepped me came out to say hi. It came up that while they finished prep, I just kept telling pirate jokes. He repeated some back to me. They were my favorite ones.
whenever i’m trying to talk myself out of buying something i don’t need i always hear my old russian professor’s voice echoing in my head: “WHAT??? WILL YOU DIE THE RICHEST MAN IN THE GRAVEYARD?” and then i make an unwise financial decision
When I see people sharing so much of their kids’ lives, I think about that one time my child told a joke, I shared that joke with ONE FRIEND in a private conversation, and my child said “can you please ask me next time, before you tell people something about me?”
And, yes, I absolutely should. So I apologized, and now I ask.
“I love that video of you, can I show it to a friend?”
“Can I tell a friend about how clever you were just now?”
“Can I share this in the family group chat?”
“Can I show your art to grandma and grandpa?”
And it’s not like my kids don’t like when I share their jokes and puns and fun moments. They love it! But they want to have control over what I share with people. Even without their faces or their names. Even people we know and trust.
And they deserve to have that control.
My children are small so the examples are small. They wanted me to ask, so I ask. Just like being told to kiss my grandma’s cheek when I was a kid was far from traumatizing, but I don’t do that with my kids because it’s a way to practice consent and become aware of bodily autonomy.
It gets both me and them in the habit of asking for consent and drawing boundaries and seeing the lines between their life and my life, their stories and my stories.
I am now very sad because of what gofundme did to me. I cannot get the money after you all helped me and my family and we were close to getting out of here and going to a safe place.
I need to buy more medicine and the money to get into an appointment about my disability once we have the insurance actually sorted (really wish it wasnt so hard to pay for insurance). Please help out a disabled trans woman scientist.
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[Begin ID: “Red and white tabby looking up in a silly way” End ID]
Unlocking this post because we havent had a working dishwasher the whole time we’ve been here (5+ months) and its becoming a serious issue (especially since theres been some sort of upset with management we are not privy to meaning we likely will wont be able to see someone about it in the next year). I want to get a cheap run of the mill portable dishwasher, the one that looks like it would work for us is ~$230 shipping included. Ty for reading
just when you think it couldn’t be worse, you have to battle a creature
I’m choosing to believe him because I think there should still be mystery and adventure in the world
Okay I looked this one up. He said he talked to God, made up some songs, and lost nine kilos during his 20ish hours in the water. He was also completely nude when he was rescued.
I don’t have time to draw it right now but while driving home from the winco I saw a happy mustached man pedaling a bike, towing a cart built to look like a chariot, inside of which stood what I can only imagine was his completely expressionless 13 year old in a makeshift corinthian helmet
Dug out the DSLR for this and had to use a handheld filter so these were the images that didn’t come out shaky.
Unfortunately that also meant I couldn’t take my time to meter and catch the really cool red coronal ejections I could see during totality. But this was still very cool.
I know it’s not the worst thing about capitalism. But I do think there’s something really *bad* about the fact that between lack of leisure time, lack of disposable income, and “hustle culture” mindset that for many, many, many people the primary/only way they are able to express their creativity and artistic aesthetics is through consumer culture. Buying stuff and displaying that stuff.
When like…making stuff. Drawing, painting, weaving, crafting, sketching is like, baked deep deep into our bones as humans.
But I know so many adults who haven’t like…drawn a picture since they were children.
“Ugh my drawings look like a 10 year old did them.”
“When did you stop drawing for fun?”
“…when I was like 10.”
Never mind that art doesn’t have to be good to be fun.
Observation: Taylor Swift. Production and hooks feel a lot like Midnights, kinda disappointed about that. Lyrics are definitely interesting, could see Swifties analyzing the shit out of this one. Song titles range from slightly abnormal to pretty wild, that’s fun. Not a bad listen at all, most of the songs kinda blended together but it’s well-made vibey pop. Bit on the long side.
Best Production: I Can Do it With a Broken Heart
Worst Lyrics: I Can Do it With a Broken Heart
Ideal Listening Environment: Passenger seat, 3 hours into a 6 hour road trip
Overall: “You don’t get to tell me about sad” out of 10
Observation: Just finished listening to THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT, only to discover there’s another one??? That’s twice as long??? And not with like, (slowed) or (remixed by Skrillex) versions of the songs, but with just straight up twice as many songs??
i don’t think people realize that like, 70% of the ‘solar punk’ aesthetic is just investing in better public transportation. like literally. no air pollution? invest in better public transportation. no cars? better public transportation. more walkable cities? better public transportation. greener urban areas? better public transportation. more bike lanes? better fucking public transportation. come on guys.
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