talking to people while holding a beverage is awesome because you don’t have to know what to do with your hands and when you don’t know what to do with your face you can just take a sip
Religious vampires trying to find ways to balance their ideologies with their needs
Sirens learning sign language so they can communicate without enchanting anyone
Disabled fairies who can’t fly pushing for accessibility
Spirits helping save people from fires and other natural disasters because they can access areas too dangerous for the living
Dragons becoming foster parents and providing super safe homes for “hordes” of children until they grow up
Female werewolves with facial hair and body hair not letting anyone make them feel bad about it
Fae snatching children from abusive homes and raising them in safety while the changeling wreaks havoc
Liberated genies using their power to fight for human rights
Witchy cooking shows where witches try to make specific potions or find creative magical solutions to problems
Psychic psychologists and medical doctors who are able to figure out exactly how to help even if their patient is non-verbal, young, or afraid of being honest because they’re with an abuser
Psychic teachers knowing just what to do to help students with learning disabilities
Yes please.
I just slammed the reblog button so hard my phone broke.
Implementing strict out-of-bounds checking in my 3D platformer, but instead of actually forbidding the player from going out of bounds I just use it to create a demon that chases you around the OOB space, and if it catches you it engages you in a lengthy unskippable dialogue about the tabletop RPG it’s writing, thereby killing your speedrun.
Reminder that there are at least 3 separate cat Zims in the Zimvoid
Like they have slightly different designs, the cat Zim in the elite is more orange and has hind legs, the one in the arena that is green with a purple uniform and no whiskers, and the one when they introduce the Zimvoid has whiskers and is (presumably) in his room
You’re bi and you love cocks? Well do I have some birds for you! Cockatiels, cockatoos, Guianan cock-of-the-rock, Andean cock-of-the-rock, and cockerels also known as roosters!
can i jsut say… isnt it insane that polar bears go underground like imagine just walking along with a shovel and u start digging a hole and a bear is in there
THEYRE JUST? THERE…. IN THE SNOW
I know it‘s supposed to be scary that there is apex predators just potentially sleeping under the surface of the snow like some kind of greek mythology monster but it just makes me laugh bc them living in holes just means polar bears just have little houses and look out of their little windows like:
can i jsut say… isnt it insane that polar bears go underground like imagine just walking along with a shovel and u start digging a hole and a bear is in there
THEYRE JUST? THERE…. IN THE SNOW
I know it‘s supposed to be scary that there is apex predators just potentially sleeping under the surface of the snow like some kind of greek mythology monster but it just makes me laugh bc them living in holes just means polar bears just have little houses and look out of their little windows like:
Once my friend Henry was accused of wearing wireless headphones by a substitute so she said for him to hand them over so he took them off and handed them to her. Then later on she asked him a question and he didn’t respond so she said it louder and he still didn’t respond. She asked why he was not responding and he said “I can’t understand you ma'am, you took my hearing aids.”
HOLY SHIT
one time we had a sub that was handing back papers and called my name. I asked if someone could grab it for me and she started mocking me for not even standing up. taunting me asking why I was not walking up to the front to get the paper myself.
my classmates went dead silent and after the sub’s laughter ended someone informed her that the wheelchair parked nearby belonged to me
I had a sub in English once, on presentation day. And everyone goes up and does their thing, and then its my turn. The whole time im stuttering and mixing up my words, having to stop and re-say my sentences. The rest of the class is used to this and claps. However, by the time its over, the teacher is 100% done.
Starts saying horrible thing about how im going to have to get over my ‘fear of public speaking’ and how she’s heard 8 year olds give better presentations (plus worse things but I don’t really member them). By then im in tears and on the brink of a panic attack, and then she starts telling me off for crying
The rest of the class is horrified. Then this boy stands up. He never been my friend and we never really got along, but he’d never bullied me. He told her in a pissed off, cold voice that in freshmen year I got a concussion and that I never really recovered from it, so all that was medical related and I couldn’t help it. Then he starts telling her off and the rest of the class joins him.
The teacher is mortified and tries to cover her ass, but the whole class walked out and that boy took me by the shoulders and we all walked to the principles office and told him what had happened. Lets just say she isn’t teaching anymore.
Also, turns out that boy had a sister like me, who couldn’t really speak. We’ve been best friends for 8 years and i’ll be his best woman at his wedding next year.
The moral is that Teachers, even subs, and adults shouldn’t scold kids before knowing the whole story, because shit like that can fuck up kids self-esteem for the rest of their life.
When I was thirteen, I had to have spinal surgery. When my doctor said I was allowed to attend school again, he said I had to use a wheelchair when on school grounds. My first day back at school, my special-ed teacher had put up a banner in her classroom that read, “There is no elevator to success. You must take the stairs.” I asked what that meant regarding my wheelchair, and she gave me detention for “disrespecting her authority”. The next week she gave us a homework assignment to design a poster that could potentially be used as a Public Service Advertisement. On the due-date, I handed this in.
My special-ed teacher was fucking OUTRAGED. She wanted me expelled for ridiculing her authority in front of the other students. The principal proclaimed my work to be “a masterpiece of satirical genius” and vetoed the special-ed teacher’s attempt to expel me.
Reblogging this post yet again, this time for the masterpiece of satirical genius. Hope the teacher got in trouble.
Alchemist OC performs human transmutation just so Truth gives them top surgery
they go through the portal again and there’s Truth sitting around, completely featureless apart from a pair o fleshy tiddies
“̌͗̓ͦI̾ͫ̅ ̈̓͑̑ͮd́͊̿̀̈́̍͐o̎̉̎̍͛n̓̌̅̅͊́'̊t̆̓̽ ͪ̓̇̊̿unͪ̂ͥ̆dͣ̍͐̓̽ͭeͦͤ̏ͥ̉rͩͨ̍̅͊̄͌s̑̓t̂̃̆̊ͣ̑a̔̚n̓ͧd̑̇̐̍ͨͯ ͥͯ̇̿̎ͦ̇h̏͒͐o͐̐ͦ̂̒ͩ̏w̋̂̿ t̓ͫͤ̔͋̎a͒k̈́̊ͭ̅̆ͧiͦ̐̑̌̔ͭͥn͋ͫ͒̋̿̎̐ḡͬͬͯ̉ ỹ̈́ͮ͗̐͌̓o̓u͐͗̒ͩ̐͑r̿͑ͨ ͥ̃ͦḃ̀́̔̌̋r͋e̊̊̐̎̌̌ͥa̓̔̐ͣ̌ͭͧs̽t̃ͬs͋͆͊ ̔ͯ͐̓ͮͨw͌̓o͌ul͒͊ͥ͐̓̉d̆̿͒̐ ͌̈́b͒̿̃̂̉̎ͩeͥ̈ͣ̑ ͬ͛ỉ̓r̿͒́ͨoͬ͋n̄͗ͦͬͫͨi̇ͥ͋̎c̃̊͋̿͐̚.ͧ̆̓̽̚"ͮ̐̆̊̍͋
“Don’t even worry about it… I promise it’s super ironic.”
There’s a house on my way home that has one of those Home Depot 12 ft. skeletons and they haven’t taken it down since Halloween, just dressed it up in holiday-appropriate wear and of course for June it’s all about Pride so please allow your dash to be blessed by 12 ft. Pride Skeleton
EDIT: Oct. 2023 Apparently this house is now for sale. Godspeed Pride Skeleton.
imagine a website where anytime you wanted to post a thought longer than a paragraph you had to end the first paragraph with the 🧵 emoji so people knew to keep reading
[Image Description: a top-down photograph of a cake with white frosting, rainbow sprinkles around the edge, and green frosting in the center that reads “No one should be in prison for weed.” End Description.]
I’m glad Tumblr is mostly lesbians nowadays cause I wouldn’t be able to stand another year of people trying to convince me this miles edgeworth looking mfer is attractive
ALT
ALT
