March 2024

i-am-a-fish:

YOU ARE GORGEOUS

YOU ARE WORTHY OF PLATONIC AND/OR ROMANTIC LOVE

YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT ELSE YOU’RE WORTHY OF??

*throws a dollar at you*

*throws a dollar at you*

*throws a dollar at you*

*throws a dollar at you*

*throws a dollar at you*

*throws a dollar at you*

*throws a dollar at you*

*throws a dollar at you*

*throws a dollar at you*

*throws a dollar at you*

*throws a dollar at you*

*throws a dollar at you*

*throws a dollar at you*

*throws a dollar at you*

THAT’S RIGHT.

fourteen dollar

sarostheghostcat:

i-am-a-fish:

cute 🫵 stunning 🫵 brilliant 🫵 kind 🫵 gorgeous 🫵 lovely 🫵 incredible 🫵 immaculate 🫵 witty 🫵 dehydrated 🫵 malnourished 🫵 loved 🫵

i read “incredible” as “inedible” and i was so fucking confused

adhdasfuck:

batmanego:

i do desperately need everyone on this website especially people who arent american but want to rag on america to familiarize themselves with the basic romanized spelling conventions of native american languages because every day i come on here and i see people making fun of massachusetts or connecticut or mississippi or passamaquoddy or mashpee or nipissing and its like PLEASE. PLEASE THEY ARENT ENGLISH WORDS. PLEAAAAASEEEEEUUUHHH. USE YOUR MINDS TO IDENTIFY WHEN A WORD LOOKS LIKE IT MAY NOT BE ENGLISH. I DONT CARE IF YOU MAKE FUN OF AMERICA JUST PLEASE STOP BEING RACIST WHILE YOU DO IT

Map I found showing which states got their names from where. Over half of the states come from Indigenous languages.

palindromordnilap:

ms-demeanor:

ms-demeanor:

argumate:

argumate:

th4nkyoub3n:

argumate:

seems that Chrome has around 60-65% market share, so it’s not totally dominating the market yet but it’s worrying that we’re basically reliant on Apple and Microsoft to hold the line.

Does Firefox not count for anything?

about 10% and falling, but perhaps that can change, I just don’t see how.

Chrome edging towards 70% on desktop, Microsoft has thrown in the towel, Safari obviously rules iOS, Firefox exists only as insurance for Chrome.

Please, please I’m begging you, use firefox.

PLEASE install firefox as a mobile browser and then run adblock on your mobile browser it’s so good I promise.

Look.

Look.

I know I’m a total grind about open source stuff but browsers are the PERFECT place to learn to love open source software and for so long FireFox was a major part of the browser market and sometimes if you want to see what kind of fuckery google is up to it helps to see the kinds of things they block in firefox and just

There’s an organization that makes free, excellent, safe software that doesn’t collect and market your data but for some reason two thirds of the world uses a google product and most of the leftover population uses apple and just

I promise, firefox is so good - the extensions are incredible look - I can use lightbeam to see what sites I use and how they connect to other sites (bottom right should give you an idea how much time I spend on tumblr)

or I can look at ublock origin and see that it’s blocked over 2 million requests since I installed it or I can run the facebook container extension and stop facebook from tracking me and you know what I bet you can do a lot of that on chrome too but you’re doing that while chrome itself is tracking you and gobbling up your activity for google and

firefox is so fuckin great and it’s such a great ambassador for other open source projects please be a big old fuckin nerd with me and use firefox and run a bunch of funky extensions and customize the fuck out of your web experience.

Wanna be a hacker? Firefox.

Wanna use instagram on desktop? Firefox.

Wanna be a killer researcher? Firefox.

Wanna properly credit artists? Firefox.

Wanna read a whole shitload of books? Firefox.

Wanna make video responses to shitlord youtubers?

Wanna shoot cat lasers at bugs?

Wanna use youtube as a music streaming service?

FIREFOX.

I just love firefox okay.

#does firefox have a mobile app #bc ive been using firefox religiously my whole life but the lack of an app back when i first got my phone is what led to my using chrome

It does! It does and it’s great! I’ve got Ublock Origin on my FF mobile app but I’d also like to point out that you can create a FF account and basically sync everything across platforms if you want to so if you want all your bookmarks and extensions and stuff in your mobile browser and on three computers you just have to log in and sync.

Mobile Firefox is AMAZING. Seriously, how could anyone go without ad blockers on their phone?

palindromordnilap:

ms-demeanor:

ms-demeanor:

argumate:

argumate:

th4nkyoub3n:

argumate:

seems that Chrome has around 60-65% market share, so it’s not totally dominating the market yet but it’s worrying that we’re basically reliant on Apple and Microsoft to hold the line.

Does Firefox not count for anything?

about 10% and falling, but perhaps that can change, I just don’t see how.

Chrome edging towards 70% on desktop, Microsoft has thrown in the towel, Safari obviously rules iOS, Firefox exists only as insurance for Chrome.

Please, please I’m begging you, use firefox.

PLEASE install firefox as a mobile browser and then run adblock on your mobile browser it’s so good I promise.

Look.

Look.

I know I’m a total grind about open source stuff but browsers are the PERFECT place to learn to love open source software and for so long FireFox was a major part of the browser market and sometimes if you want to see what kind of fuckery google is up to it helps to see the kinds of things they block in firefox and just

There’s an organization that makes free, excellent, safe software that doesn’t collect and market your data but for some reason two thirds of the world uses a google product and most of the leftover population uses apple and just

I promise, firefox is so good - the extensions are incredible look - I can use lightbeam to see what sites I use and how they connect to other sites (bottom right should give you an idea how much time I spend on tumblr)

or I can look at ublock origin and see that it’s blocked over 2 million requests since I installed it or I can run the facebook container extension and stop facebook from tracking me and you know what I bet you can do a lot of that on chrome too but you’re doing that while chrome itself is tracking you and gobbling up your activity for google and

firefox is so fuckin great and it’s such a great ambassador for other open source projects please be a big old fuckin nerd with me and use firefox and run a bunch of funky extensions and customize the fuck out of your web experience.

Wanna be a hacker? Firefox.

Wanna use instagram on desktop? Firefox.

Wanna be a killer researcher? Firefox.

Wanna properly credit artists? Firefox.

Wanna read a whole shitload of books? Firefox.

Wanna make video responses to shitlord youtubers?

Wanna shoot cat lasers at bugs?

Wanna use youtube as a music streaming service?

FIREFOX.

I just love firefox okay.

#does firefox have a mobile app #bc ive been using firefox religiously my whole life but the lack of an app back when i first got my phone is what led to my using chrome

It does! It does and it’s great! I’ve got Ublock Origin on my FF mobile app but I’d also like to point out that you can create a FF account and basically sync everything across platforms if you want to so if you want all your bookmarks and extensions and stuff in your mobile browser and on three computers you just have to log in and sync.

Mobile Firefox is AMAZING. Seriously, how could anyone go without ad blockers on their phone?

tobisonfire:

Our maple prince etho has delivered.

star-cities-finest-deactivated2:

ruffboijuliaburnsides:

infinite-bag-of-boys:

infinite-bag-of-boys:

me, a british person, listening to the mcelroys talk about how ‘twenty’ doesn’t rhyme with ‘venti’

BUT ‘HONEY’ DOES?????

Like, ok, american english we often blur the t in “ty” endings so it ends up sounding more like “Twenny”, but it should IN NO WAY RHYME WITH HONEY?????

HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY FUCKING PRONOUNCING “TWENTY”?????????

like Twunny

circus-to-air-missile:

ROMAN SOLDIER: halt, strange person! where are you from?

TIME TRAVELER: i come from the future. what are your names?

ROMAN SOLDIER: my name is QUINTUS, as i am the fifth child in my family. my comrade is SEXTUS, for he was the sixth child in his family. what is your name?

TIME TRAVELER: my name’s LIV

ROMAN SOLDIER: [starts counting on his fingers as his eyes open in fear]

morgueanlefay:

you know how sometimes it just feels so good to move and twist about in your bed? that’s your wormsona coming out

morgueanlefay:

you know how sometimes it just feels so good to move and twist about in your bed? that’s your wormsona coming out

elidyce:

writing-prompt-s:

Some time ago, you sold your soul to the Devil. He just gave it back and asked you for a favor.

There’s really no good time to open your front door and find a demon standing on your doormat, but five minutes before you’re supposed to leave for work is an especially bad time. 

Of course, no-one else would know that the Devil - or a demon who claimed to be the Biblical Satan, I had no way of knowing for sure - was on my doorstep. He’s wearing a discreet grey suit, which is honestly much more suitable than the flashy black number with the cape he was wearing last time we met. Still wearing the same face, thought. 

“I was under the impression,” I say slowly, “that my deal was concluded.” 

I suppose everyone has what they feel like pressing reasons for selling their souls. The life of a loved one is a common one. I was careful with my bargain - health, wealth and happiness for all of my children for the period of their natural lives. I wasn’t going to blow my entire immortal soul on just one of them, and then see another one get sick.

“It is,” the demon calling himself Lucifer says slowly. “But I have come to offer you a new bargain.” 

I raise my eyebrows. “For what? You already have full post-expiry rights to my immortal soul, subject to fulfilment of all conditions of our contract.” 

“And I’m willing to return those… post-expiry rights to you, in exchange for… a favour.” He actually looks embarrassed. I didn’t think demons could get flustered. 

“A favour.” I look at my watch. “I have to get to work. Will this favour take long?” 

“Yes, it will.” He looks around, looking more flustered than ever. “When would be a… good time, then?” 

I check my watch again. “If you can get through it in half an hour, I can fit you in at eleven. If it’s going to take longer, you’ll have to wait until after work.” 

“I remember you as being more accommodating,” he says dryly. 

“I remember that last time we met, I was the one who wanted something.” 

“You don’t want your soul back?” 

“I don’t know yet. I don’t know what the price is going to be.” I step out, closing the door behind me. “I’ll tell you what. Meet me outside my office at six. I suppose that under the circumstances, I could give you the courtesy of a free consultation.” 

Keep reading

rockn-roll-cat:

can-oh-worm:

good finally a version of this i can reblog

treepyro:

empress-of-dark2005:

bottomfull hole

Humans are adorable.

shakespork:

teaboot:

Supporting evidence:

1. Humans say ‘ow’, even if they haven’t actually been hurt. It’s just a thing they say when they think they might have been hurt, but aren’t sure yet.

2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies and nests with them. The shinier the better, although each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring

3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play in it. They can’t even hold their breath all that long; they just love to splash!

4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft, fluffy bedding.

5. Some humans spend time in each other’s nests! Just for fun! It’s not their nest; they’re just visiting each other.

6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes!

7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt creatures from other species into their family units. They don’t seem to notice the obvious differences, and often raise them alongside their own young!

8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own risk, most humans are deeply compassionate creatures!

9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying themselves!

10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely adorable. Especially when the human in question becomes frustrated

11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many humans will save these treats specifically for a later date when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE, pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc

12. They’re learning to travel in space!!! They can’t get very far, but they’re trying!!! So far, they’ve made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks

this sounds like it was written by a really enthusiastic alien humanologist

epilepticsaints:

https://www.tumblr.com/achivement-unlocked/743086027324932096/kosa


Not the anon, but Kosa is a bill that's soon going to pass where minors on the internet get their parents to see what they search up and restrict things that are deemed "inappropriate." When in reality it prevents kids who are trying to learn about the lbgtq community and kids trying to identify abuse. The bill will change the internet forever and NOT in a good way.


Im pretty sure the anon is trying to ask you to spread awareness about this.


Some links to prevent this are:

https://www.badinternetbills.com/

https://www.stopkosa.com/

https://www.change.org/p/save-our-free-and-open-internet-stop-the-kids-online-safety-act

https://actionnetwork.org/petitions/censorship-wont-make-kids-safe?nowrapper=true#:~:text=Privacy%2C%20free%20expression%2C%20and%20LGBTQ%2B,tell%20them%20to%20reject%20KOSA

agentleem:

h0ly-tea:

fireflychaosdemon:

a-being-of-chaossss:

alter-ego-cole:

thatonesalmonlingnamedspike:

thatonesalmonlingnamedspike:

thatonesalmonlingnamedspike:

pebiejeebies:

achivement-unlocked:

achivement-unlocked:

Breaking the gimmick for this one, here’s some resources for yall <33

Recently got word of a petition to stop this, here!!

SORRY FOR THE TAG GUYS BUT WE ALL NEED YOUR VOTES!!

WE NEED YOUR FURY AND FEAR TO CONVINCE THEM!! VOTE AGAINST KOSA! WE HAVE DAYS LEFT BEFORE IT HAPPENS!

THE SUICIDE RATES WILL RISE, INFORMATION ABOUT PALESTINE WILL BE ERASED AND WIPED OFF OF THE INTERNET

WEBSITES LIKE AO3 WILL BE COMPLETELY WIPED AND DESTROYED FOR THE FREEDOM THEY HAVE

PEOPLE WHO ARE POC AND LGBT WILL STRUGGLE WITH EVERYTHING BEING TAKEN AWAY FROM THEM, THE SUPPORT AND REPRESENTATION!

THIS ISNT SAFETY!! THIS ISNT RIGHT!

THEY’LL TAKE ALL YOUR INFORMATION AND SEND IT TO YOUR PARENTS! YOULL BE FORCED TO EXPOSE MORE OF YOUR PERSONAL PRIVACY TO EVEN JOIN A WEBSITE

TAG EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND EVERYONE YOU DONT! DONT LET THIS GET THROUGH! PLEASE! <- genuinely horrified

@infinite-ticking-clock37 @ineedtherapyofc  @bigt1e @lemonpie45 @galaxy-brushs-asks-blogs @devycolamy @sphxremint @lorebookk @n0b0dieistired @theactualsalty @knightobreath @solgavee @talkingteardrop @aoscf77 @koduflower2000 @dollybeagle @woodrocko @tdutb @detective-ws @fernett @ch0cocrave @wowwzaaxei-aster @thatonesalmonlingnamedspike @martinkatzz @yourfriendlyshapeshiftermonsters @homobrainjuice @sillyosclover @akalikestodraw @blairdrawzstuff @applesaucify @chocolatespyro @trashbins-stuff @fizzycereal @mochablogger @maxphilippa @ii-yinyang @facelessthefreak @justsomebadartistguy @juuh9s @clownpalette (ID LOVE UR REBLOG!! /GEN!! YOULL HELP A LOT!) @fellawmicrowave @rubixisanidi0t @b3daze @scrollinonhere @anobjectshowguy @lemonshorky

VOTE VOTE VOTE! DONT HESITATE! IF YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO, VOTE ON ANY AND EVERY KOSA PETITION YOU FIND! DONT LET THEM WIN.

USE THE KOSA TAGS, MAKE THEM TRENDING! DONT STAY SILENT!!

@survivalist731 @waffledrop @sleepypillowynight @devycolamy @apandainoveralls @demondevilevil @moon-flower09 @leaffenzts @banduandexpunged @marshplebowz @sunandsunsh1ne @immasassystrawberrt @jessica199616 @blindsightted @zoomigummi @edible-erasers @gooisunderrated @tdutbb @void1z1braiinz @cyygnet @scrollinonhere @redactedonyt @thelittleprinceconfirmed @yellowangiru @pankiepoo @darkleafblack @catinc @periidoti @handsanitzer-3451 @gr4pedd @vas-vasya @moththejeebweezer @wowwzaaxei-aster @the-object-magical @i-likeobjectshowzz2763 @n0b0dieistired @strawberry-scented-shooting-star @biblicallyaccuratefour @flowerbunny-rip @mambarii @anobjectshowguy @static-code-error-13

I’M GONNA REBLOG THIS WITH MORE PPL

@lemonshorky @slushiecookie @cyberl1n3vada @mariadragenia24 @sk3tchyy42 @wlwgolfball @solgavee @lemonboxie @gelatinzz @ch0cocrave @alastor-radiostart @koduflower2000 @pbjfox371478 @salachy-part-two @talkingteardrop @yoink-a-doink @hollow8007 @saraali-19 @ineedtherapyofc @peppermintz-25 @sillyosclover @gooseworx @woodrocko @mochablogger @thatgoofypizza @dreamcloud12

YET AGAIN GIMMIE A MOMENT

@akalikestodraw @winterwrxter @stickyynote @c10v3r @grotatoes @5tupidusrnam3 @hatenthusiast17 @blairdrawzstuff @homobrainjuice @shencomix @nailtagyuri @maxphilippa @unni-sloth @alter-ego-cole @surrealsweets @shimadadoctor @gingerkingfisher @galaxy-brush-doin-reblogs @fizzycereal @animalgirl00 @bfdifan26 @finleyforevermore @axolotluv @skeleslime-phantom @k-eke

this.

is.

SO MANY PPL.

@an-inspired-eternity @a-being-of-chaossss @quikyu @umyeahoksure @lovely-lauren-arts @llama-llama-official @lektricfergus @bulle-blackhole @bi-leef @blacephalo @mattibee @matchamabs @wishcloak @elm-off-her-rocker @ebonysquib @ronniesbizzareblog @reuniclus @reikaniichan @tikara @autisticfoxgirl333 @i-eat-your-pancakes-art @im-just-an-arce @offended-dot-png @pukicho @demandezglassjoe @frontline-titties-of-the-fifth @fear-ze-queer @goldmouse @gooompy @hayealo @justanuglydepressedbitch @k-eke @kuroi528 @kazooyah @catcrumb @vanessadoofwasmygayawakening @ndrogyny @nekosouvlaki @mangora

Sorry to tag you all but this is really important!!

DONT WORRY ABOUT IT COLE!! IM HAPPY TO HELP

@fireflychaosdemon @ask-zote-the-mighty @knightofhallownest @jessicatssssalads @thatoneluckybee @quintessential-candles @reahustar @dailyrioranger @beantothemax @hobie-doh @gh0str3c0rd3r @agalnamedlunasea @plushiehamuko @planetarymesss @shslskaterboy @kirexa @kingofballs69000 @microwavingtoniii @feeble13 @the-beautiful-flower-guy @collidew1thesky @th3b0neguy @fruityukeleleplayer @finleyforevermore @yttd-enjoyer @ancestorlegacy @theneonghosts @phoenixthefraud @cthulhu-but-aggresively-cuddly @rabbityfrogs @dressupbastard @frokkie21 @the-phantom-officianados @selfdiagnosedeyemotif @turquoisy-creativity @tiredb1s3xual @sorryitisandy @tomscryingcorner @timetokrill

EVERYONE PLEASE SPREAD THIS

OK PEOPLE LET’S GO

@marvinthecrow @monpetitchattriste @moondust-on-the-hijabi @aelin-and-feyre @bananapudding752 @bubufluture @calypso-daughter-of-atlas @cartoon-fanaticism @damhalfblood @fresasconsal @hauntingyourself @incorrectatlas @imthatweirdratinthecorner @literallyalexfierro @loife1m @qracer25y @reyna-obsessed @someonewhogotanaccount @tybalt-you-saucy-boi @tothemaxie @vinxthemage @waffled-iron @yes-i-exist-shutup @zoesim5

@agentldiddy :.]

To me my x-mutuals:

@ferno-does-random-shit @wizvai @profeshinul-wizurd @apprentice-wizard-mr-mary-mack @jhomikle @mayhem-moth @terrencetheshark14 @hnoc-system @1dreana0 @mayhaps-am-mallard @viscerawizard @phlo0p @supersoupslut69420 @lukadjo @ash-the-tiefling @bacony-cakes @lixorloveslicorice @moonsfavoritedaughter @mersinia @mariheadspace @slimylittlemaggot @localtransmascfrog @detectivewizzard @slymewitch @the-thing-of-worms @fattocatto-wizard @magical-bear-dubin @number-1-haxorus-fan @hommedebanane @qwertacius-boi @godofautism @mayhem-moth-2 @willowplantcat @aroace-wizard @radio-to-trenchcoat-demons @the-frog-wizard-leep @asexualmisconduct @durgalmaple @that-0ne-loser-ky @bobbyzombiegg @yourlocalbreadenthusiast @insertblogaesthetichere @littlepawzbigheart @username-not-registered @redpandalily @skull-ishcloud @cow-stealin-gal @wizard-at-large @kaithe-enby404 @peanutbutter-and-jellie more to follow

disgustinggf:

empress-of-dark2005:

rain-droplet:

nerves-nebula:

my brother asked why my voice was so deep and I said I’d give him 3 guesses, and he said “You doin the little flip-flop? The little switcheroo?” and it took me like 10 seconds to realize that was his Polite Way of asking if i was transitioning

transing your gender has two new names now and your brother is an icon

bungou-bubbler:

typiing-deactivated20240430:

i’m like “i don’t give a fuck” & then have an anxiety attack

0odlesofd00dl3s:

Some drawings I made in 2023, but in light up the update I thought Id post them at last xD

(01 l 17 l 2024)
[Please don’t re-post/use my art anywhere without permission]

justletmeon12:

houseofpurplestars:

If any of you ever feel like what you’re doing for Palestine isn’t helping anything, I’ll tell you right now it’s helping me. I know it is fortifying all of us who have been in this fight for years to see so many people willing to speak up. It has never been like this before.

The tide has already turned. The fact that #free palestine will have new posts everyday, that helps me. It helps my mental health knowing that Palestinians are less alone now than ever.

Yesterday I read some verses from the Quran talking about how “the blame” is not with those who wish to help but cannot, but with those who CAN help and do not.

Truly I do not care if all you do for Palestine is post in that #free palestine everyday, that is still more than many people with the means to do even more would do.

We see you. We see you standing in solidarity with us and with Palestinians. We love you. Thank you.

I have to keep reminding myself that the point of collective action is that it’s collective.

It’s terrifying and demoralizing that nothing thus far has stopped or more than briefly paused the genocide.

But that’s not a reason to stop trying.

If you can protest in person, do that.

If you can donate, do that.

If you can write your officials, do that.

If you can click once a day, do it here: https://arab.org/click-to-help/palestine/

And if all you can do is share, do that.

catinc:

Hey, this is a good post, right? You’d tell me if it’s a flop post?

Oh, btw I burnt down your house in a few days.

Yea, sorry, your boyfriend was annoying, so he isn’t allowed to like any of my posts anymore. Yea, he crawled into the vents again.

What, is something wrong?

Notice anything about when this was posted? You don’t like my post, do you? Maybe I should stop posting then.

But I won’t.

Out of spite.

You’re getting a little uncomfortable? Good. You deserve it.

I’m sorry.


I love you.

catinc:

russianchoir:

Much better

catinc:

Rule 34 of fight club: if it exists, there’s fight club of it.

catinc:

They need to start casting spells in different rhyme schemes. Instead of single phrase spells like “penis blast,” or “cast fireball,” or the classic AB spell chant like “by the power of the sun, I shoot you with this gun,” we need to be coming up with limerick chants, haiku chants, ABCDCBA formatted chants, hell, even find obscure schemes, or tell a story that in and of itself is a spell of ultimate proportion. I shall list examples of each in a reblog.

jadevine:

jadevine:

jadevine:

Medieval Warhorses, Repost + additions!

Since people loved my “Preindustrial travel times” post so much, I decided to repost my “Realistic warhorses” info separately from the original link, where it was a response to “how to get the feel of realistic combat.”

The original link is here.

The “Warhorse” post on my blog, plus a recent addition, is here.

And here’s the text for people who want to go down my “grown up horse-girl” rabbit hole right away!

Medieval Warhorses:

First of all: DESTRIERS WERE NOT DRAFT HORSES. Horse/military historians are begging people to stop putting their fantasy knights on Shires, Belgians, and other massive, chunky farm-horses! The best known instance of “a knight needs to get lifted onto their 18-hand draft horse” is a SATIRE (A Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, if I remember right), but somehow laymen decided to take it seriously.

Hell, I think the film’s historians knew that this was extremely inaccurate and begged the director not to do it.


Keep reading

My post got cut off, so I added the rest of it today! The rabbit-hole of preindustrial horsemanship deepens!

#op you are an ABSOLUTE GEM #i work in genre fiction (specifically sf/f) and i do NOT know a lot about horses #but i keep needing to be SURPRISE GOOD AT HORSES

Thank you for the hilarious tags!

Also as a “thing that you should avoid in period works:”

The common modern requirement of “X breed of horse must only be X, Y, and Z color” was most likely not a thing in medieval times, as I’ve noted with “modern-type breeds didn’t actually EXIST back then” to start with.

You had: “Farm/work horses,” and “riding horses,” and “warhorses,” or maybe you had “Spanish / Dutch / English horses.”

You didn’t know what modern horse-folks know about GENETICS, and not too much of an idea of how their coat-colors get passed down. You just knew that your mare with high white socks USUALLY has solid-colored foals with high socks (duh), but this one time you bred her to a stallion with only one white sock and a smudge on his chin, and THAT baby had patches like nobody’s ever seen.

People are people; you had individuals who loved horses with spots or patches or really flashy high socks, and those who wouldn’t touch them with a ten-foot pole. Wealthy nobles/royals with their favorite horses may well spark “fads” for horses with certain coats, but horses in general were a lot more colorful in older times.

“Spanish horses” are currently solid-colored or gray today, but they were known to have spotted or patchy coats in medieval times, and the foundation mare for the Knabstrupper breed is a snowflake-patterned horse who is said to be “Spanish.” This means as late at the 1800s, Iberian breeds or “breeds that can believably pass for Spanish” still had leopard-type spotting genes! https://horse-canada.com/breeds/knabstrupper/

Personally I love spotted and patchy horses, so I will have as many spotted or patchy horses in my works as I can.

Also, my sympathies for being in a field that you need More Knowledge Of, lol.

The series I’m working on that has all this horse-knowledge? Is ALSO the series where I went, “Man, I would love to see what happens when your average Asian-American woman Alima Song accidentally wins a Gaelic Irish petty-kingdom, and SHE ACTUALLY HAS TO RULE! How do Folk taxes work? How do the Folk handle illness/injury if they’ve got preindustrial technology but ALSO a different kind of magic than humans? …Great, now I have to learn about medicine AND accounting, like my mom kept telling me to!”

And then I realized that despite my hatred of math in school, I accidentally found out that logistics/statistics is fun for me. So fun that instead of finishing the proper story, I got distracted and wrote notes about Folk society and economy for months. Lmao.

jadevine:

introvertbard:

lilietsblog:

kitstacean:

grison-in-space:

jadevine:

Preindustrial travel, and long explanations on why different distances are like that

I saw a post on my main blog about how hiking groups need to keep pace with their slowest member, but many hikers mistakenly think that the point of hiking is “get from Point A to Point B as fast as possible” instead of “spending time outdoors in nature with friends,” and then they complain that a new/less-experienced/sick/disabled hiker is spoiling their time-frame by constantly needing breaks, or huffing and puffing to catch up.

I run into a related question of “how long does it take to travel from Point A to Point B on horseback?” a lot, as a fantasy writer who wants to be SEMI-realistic; in the Western world at least, our post-industrial minds have largely forgotten what it’s like to travel, both on our own feet and in groups.

People ask the new writer, “well, who in your cast is traveling? Is getting to Point B an emergency or not? What time of year is it?”, and the newbies often get confused as to why they need so much information for “travel times.” Maybe new writers see lists of “preindustrial travel times” like a primitive version of Google Maps, where all you need to do is plug in Point A and Point B.

But see, Google Maps DOES account for traveling delays, like different routes, constructions, accidents, and weather; you as the person will also need to figure in whether you’re driving a car versus taking a bus/train, and so you’ll need to figure out parking time or waiting time for the bus/train to actually GET THERE.

The difference between us and preindustrial travelers is that 1) we can outsource the calculations now, 2) we often travel for FUN instead of necessity.

The general rule of thumb for preindustrial times is that a healthy and prime-aged adult on foot, or a rider/horse pair of fit and prime-aged adults, can usually make 20-30 miles per day, in fair weather and on good terrain.

Why is this so specific? Because not everyone in preindustrial times was fit, not everyone was healthy, not everyone was between the ages of 20-35ish, and not everyone had nice clear skies and good terrain to travel on.

If you are too far below 18 years old or too far past 40, at best you will need either a slower pace or more frequent breaks to cover the same distance, and at worst you’ll cut the travel distance in half to 10 or so miles. Too much walking is VERY BAD on too-young/old knees, and teenagers or very short adults may just have short legs even if they’re fine with 8-10 hours of actual walking. Young children may get sick of walking and pitch a fit because THEY’RE TIREDDDDDDDDDD, and then you might need to stay put while they cry it out, or an adult may sigh and haul them over their shoulder (and therefore be weighed down by about 50lbs of Angry Child).

Heavy forests, wetlands and rocky hills/mountains are also going to be a much shorter “distance.” For forests or wetlands, you have to account for a lot of villagers going “who’s gonna cut down acres of trees for one road? NOT ME,” or “who’s gonna drain acres of swamp for one road? NOT ME.” Mountainous regions have their traveling time eaten by going UP, or finding a safer path that goes AROUND.

If you are traveling in winter or during a rainstorm (and this inherently means you HAVE NO CHOICE, because nobody in preindustrial times would travel in bad weather if they could help it), you run the high risk of losing your way and then dying of exposure or slipping and breaking your neck, just a few miles out of the town/village.

And now for the upper range of “traveling on horseback!”

Fully mounted groups can usually make 30-40 miles per day between Point A and Point B, but I find there are two unspoken requirements: “Point B must have enough food for all those people and horses,” and “the mounted party DOESN’T need to keep pace with foot soldiers, camp followers, or supply wagons.”

This means your mounted party would be traveling to 1) a rendezvous point like an ally’s camp or a noble’s castle, or 2) a town/city with plenty of inns. Maybe they’re not literally going 30-40 miles in one trip, but they’re scouting the area for 15-20 miles and then returning to their main group. Perhaps they’d be going to an allied village, but even a relatively small group of 10-20 warhorses will need 10-20 pounds of grain EACH and 20-30 pounds of hay EACH. 100-400 pounds of grain and 200-600 pounds of hay for the horses alone means that you need to stash supplies at the village beforehand, or the village needs to be a very large/prosperous one to have a guaranteed large surplus of food.

A dead sprint of 50-60 miles per day is possible for a preindustrial mounted pair, IF YOU REALLY, REALLY HAVE TO. Moreover, that is for ONE day. Many articles agree that 40 miles per day is already a hard ride, so 50-60 miles is REALLY pushing the envelope on horse and rider limits.

NOTE: While modern-day endurance rides routinely go for 50-100 miles in one day, remember that a preindustrial rider will not have the medical/logistical support that a modern endurance rider and their horse does.

If you say “they went fifty miles in a day” in most preindustrial times, the horse and rider’s bodies will get wrecked. Either the person, their horse, or both, risk dying of exhaustion or getting disabled from the strain.

Whether you and your horse are fit enough to handle it and “only” have several days of defenselessness from severe pain/fatigue (and thus rely on family/friends to help you out), or you die as a heroic sacrifice, or you aren’t QUITE fit enough and become disabled, or you get flat-out saved by magic or another rider who volunteers to go the other half, going past 40 miles in a day is a “Gondor Calls For Aid” level of emergency.

As a writer, I feel this kind of feat should be placed VERY carefully in a story: Either at the beginning to kick the plot off, at the climax to turn the tide, or at the end.

Preindustrial people were people–some treated their horses as tools/vehicles, and didn’t care if they were killed or disabled by pushing them to their limits, but others very much cared for their horses. They needed to keep them in working condition for about 15-20 years, and they would not dream of doing this without a VERY good reason.

All of this, with one additional nudge : even the people who thought of horses as I think of my car often cared intensely about the possibility of killing or disabling a horse by mishandling it. I would personally be furious if some feckless wastrel took my car and raced it over uneven ground so that it the suspension was shot to hell and the car had to be totaled and sold for parts. And I do not drive a nice car!

Today, we tend to think of horses as cheap to buy and expensive to maintain because those are the real incentive costs in a modern economy. In much of human history, though, horses were EXPENSIVE — that’s a big reason that we associate them to heavily with nobility! Other draft livestock are going to be even slower—good luck making quick time on a donkey or an ox cart—and harder to convince to move quickly for extended periods. And if you’re carrying supplies or any substatial weight? You’ll be lucky to get ten miles, and twenty will be a feat of extraordinary effort akin to a rider doing forty or fifty.

much like cars, draft animals are expensive things that are often vital to either your livelihood, your social life, or both. If there are towns separately by large distances in the setting, then you’d need some way for people to get between them - and if someone’s job relied on travelling between these towns either quickly (messengers, certain service jobs like mercenaries) or carrying a lot of goods between these towns (merchants, traders, etc), their animal being injured or killed would ruin their day, if not their life.

Vague literature based memories (of, like 19th century)? inform me of an infrastructure thing that is a network of, like, stables? courier stations? where a person can CHANGE HORSES (the horses are presumably all government-owned, as is the whole network) and keep going very, very fast in an emergency. I THINK it was specifically for government couriers, but logic dictates that a private individual could probably pay for the service?

Your weekly reminder that this “preindustrial travel” post has been updated A LOT! https://jadevine.tumblr.com/post/738801850678116352/preindustrial-travel-and-long-explanations-on-why

previous poster’s tags: #writing #fascinating info really #that last tidbit seems true though im pretty sure thats how the US postal service started out basically

The Pony Express is very famous… and very short-lived! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pony_Express

There was also a preindustrial version of it: The Persian / Achaemenid Empire’s postal service! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chapar_Khaneh

Notice how this is an EMPIRE and not a “Kingdom,” though?

Read more for why the Pony Express is Not Practical!

Keep reading

@lilietsblog forgot to tag you in my response, but there’s the Pony Express and the Persian Empire’s courier service, who both embody the sheer difficulty of “Hey, if you switch out horses, you could cover a LOT MORE ground! Why hasn’t anyone done it?”

Tealdeer: Switching out horses every ten miles and going full-speed across the country is enormously expensive and enormously dangerous.

HOLY SHIT HEKEY AND KALLAMAR LOOK SO EDIBLE

aveloka-draws:

aveloka-draws:

Thank you!

Pray for Heket

winedarkgod:

posttexasstressdisorder:

0ryza13:

teaboot:

scarhaver:

scarhaver:

i think it is good to warn people in advance about the circumstances that will cause you to bite them and i think that having given that warning it is good to follow through when the time comes

the rattlesnake is an admirable creature whose virtues we should emulate

One time at dance some rando grabbed me by the waist and told me to dance with him and I told him “if you don’t let go I’m going to bite you” and he didn’t let go so I bit him and that really should be the end of the story but he thought that was funny so I turned around and gave him a donkey kick to the shins and took about a 4 inch strip of skin with me so what I learned that day is when one is without debilitating venom, one must be as a horse do

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

nihilistic-nipple:

56853:

demilypyro:

Thinking about how Disco Elysium frames communists as idealists who want a good thing that never gets accomplished because of infighting and frames fascists and centrists as literally the worst kinds of people to exist and people say it makes fun of everyone equally

And even among the latter two the game puts in a lot of writing to articulate the problems with centrism, how it is is used as a form of political control, and how it perpetuates a harmful status quo. Fascism doesn’t even get the dignity of ideological critique, the resolution of the fascism thought is just ranting about women and wanting a beer, it is beneath contempt for Disco.

The criticism for communism/socialism goes a little deeper; the alienation of the working people by intelligentsia, the necessities of corruption/crime, the avoidance of critique by calling it bourgeois (jealousy/physics is a bourgeois concept).

Fascism/nationalism/racism is put forth as pure delusion by people that need something to blame their misfortune - and to manipulate said people by demagogues. It is presented as what it is; nonsense, a myth to make someone feel better about themselves.

But at the end, despite its criticism, Disco Elysium puts communism as the only constructive ideology - the only future or humanistic alternative. The 3 others; liberalism/capitalism, moralism/centrism, conservatism/fascism are destructive to humanity either slowly eroding society or quickly killing it.

It’s only communism that allows you to hug someone. “A hug a day, keeps the bourgeoisie away”

whereserpentswalk:

Being thin is morally neutral.

Being fat is morally neutral.

Being muscular is morally neutral.

Wanting to be thin is morally neutral.

Wanting to be fat is morally neutral.

Wanting to be muscular is morally neutral.

Taking steps to become thin is morally neutral

Taking steps to become fat is morally neutral

Taking steps to become muscular is morally neutral

Literally do whatever you want forever. Reblog is you agree.

ur-daily-inspiration:

girlnephew:

jarmes:

themythicalcodfish:

southernsolarpunk-deactivated20:

I don’t even care who fucking wins the presidency this year look at this

This makes an INCREDIBLE difference!!!! For fuck sake go vote!!!!

A few years back a Republican won my house district by six vote. Now she’s talking about making it illegal to protest the Gazan genocide. Pay attention to Congress

jarmes:

themythicalcodfish:

southernsolarpunk-deactivated20:

I don’t even care who fucking wins the presidency this year look at this

This makes an INCREDIBLE difference!!!! For fuck sake go vote!!!!

A few years back a Republican won my house district by six vote. Now she’s talking about making it illegal to protest the Gazan genocide. Pay attention to Congress

tricitymonsters:

modernoracleofdelphi:

last-knight-who-was:

maria-sklodowskas-twix-bar-deac:

radiofreederry:

The liberals want open borders so that we’re forced to let Vegeta into our country

I didn’t even realize this was meant to be mocking at first

I'mma be real with you, I still hadn’t realized until you said that. Fascists try so hard to make leftwing ideas sound bad that they usually just end up making them look metal as fuck.

fixed it 👍

reblog to let Vegeta into the country.

writing-with-olive:

they-who-wander:

belgiumthroughbelgianeyes:

morgaine2005:

the-angry-walnut-fairy:

meimagino:

did-you-kno:

Source

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© VALERIO VINCENZO
Website | Facebook | Twitter

I am American and I have never seen photos like this. I had no idea there are borders like this. Even though I LOVE the idea of open borders, I am staring at these pictures like “wait…people can just…walk across some stones or grass and BE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY??? and nobody stops them?? how does that WORK?!” So you can tell that my country’s propaganda has gotten to me by convincing me that this CAN’T work even though…it…obviously can.

These pics just seem unreal to me. I’ve been taught my whole life that this can’t exist. In 27 years no one has ever sat me down and gone, look, here’s how it is elsewhere. It isn’t impossible at all.

I want to add something, but I’d just be restating what they said. I.. didn’t know peace and kindness like this was possible.

All of the above, and …

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to Belgium, apparently.

🐓

This also leads to some funny images like: GuEsS wHeRe ThE bOrDeR Is XD

this is real, but it also gets at why hopeful stories are so important - its real hard to make a better world if you cant even imagine it existing

teaboot:

minimal-effort-name:

teaboot:

marleysfinest:

hello please can I sleep in a studio ghibli bed it’s urgent

Okay there all look great with the EXCEPTION of Howl’s bed, are you kidding me

Look at that thang. The duvet, the pillowcases- that shit is embroidered and beaded to FUCK. That’s your victorian great-great-grandmother’s fanciest display sheets for the decorative guest room nobody ever uses. You roll over the wrong way on one of those appliqué czech glass flowers and lose a goddamn eye. Abrasive as hell. Too delicate to machine-wash, too, so the fabric itself gotta be tough like sandpaper. That, or frayed all to shit, like you shift a little in the night and get sequins falling all over like a drunk queen in a bouncy castle. You know I’m right. Look at him. Look at how he’s sleeping and tell me that man’s so much as SAT on those sheets in his life. My girl Sophie did her best but we all know that’s his fancy interior design hashtag #aesthetic Instagram influencer background room. He doesn’t SLEEP there, he sleeps on the couch or on the floor or in the reclined seat of his busted-out Subaru in the garage that hasn’t worked right in five years cause he doesn’t know what an oil change is. That’s the room he uses for makeup tutorials and Shien Hauls (derogatory). Look at that man. Look at him for five seconds and tell me he isn’t gonna wake up in an hour crying over snagged hair and floral imprints on his face. What the HELL Sophie baby that blowdried bitch has a twelve step twice daily skin care routine and you’re RUINING it. Walked right past his twin size flannel futon in the corner down the hall and dumped him in the biggest bed she could find like a bedazzled roadkill possum. Didn’t even put his bonnet on. Sophie I love you so much but first thing he does after he chips his nails clawing his way out of that thing is get your Amelia Bedilia ass. I’m so sorry

This almost compares to that guy who wrote The Rant about hating Olaf

you mean this guy

Post by Teaboot on May 13th, 2020: "God I hate Olaf the snowman so fucking much holy...". The rest of the post is cut off.  ALT

cryptotheism:

livesouls:

livesouls:

Reading about Habsburg emperors makes me laugh like nothing else


This is Ferdinand I The Benevolent. I am dying

Immediately after. You can’t write this

FIVE??

netherworldpost:

orangetubor:

Polycule except one of them isn’t dating anyone they’re just there

coolcurrybooks:

A sequel to my “adult fantasy books by authors that aren’t straight white men,” this time for sci-fi!

These are probably skewed more towards modern authors and books, but that’s because I tend to read newer stuff, not because only men or only white people wrote sci-fi in the past. 

Authors and books below the cut, including links to Goodreads. I’m not providing trigger warnings (if I make the post too long Tumblr starts freaking out about it), but you can use the search function on Goodreads reviews to find more specifics.

6/26/20: I no longer recommend Ancestral Night by Elizabeth Bear.

Keep reading

scientia-rex:

When I was in ninth grade I wanted to challenge what I saw as a very stupid dress code policy (not being allowed to wear spikes regardless of the size or sharpness of the spikes). My dad said to me, “What is your objective?”

He said it over and over. I contemplated that. I wanted to change an unfair dress code. What did I stand to gain? What did I stand to lose? If what I really wanted was to change the dress code, what would be my most effective potential approach? (He also gave me Discourses on the Fall of Rome by Titus Livius, Machiavelli’s magnum opus. Of course he’d already given me The Prince, Five Rings, and The Art of War.)

I ultimately printed out that phrase, coated it in Mod Podge, and clipped it to my bathroom mirror so I would look at it and think about it every day.

What is your objective?

Forget about how you feel. Ask yourself, what do you want to see happen? And then ask, how can you make it happen? Who needs to agree with you? Who has the power to implement this change? What are the points where you have leverage over them? If you use that leverage now, will you impair your ability to use it in the future? Getting what you want is about effectiveness. It is not about being an alpha or a sigma or whatever other bullshit the men’s right whiners are on about now. You won’t find any MRA talking points in Musashi, because they are not relevant.

I had no clear leverage on the dress code issue. My parents were not on the PTA; neither were any of my friend’s parents who liked me. The teachers did not care about this. Ultimately I just wore what I wanted, my patent leather collar from Hot Topic with large but flattened spikes, and I had guessed correctly—the teachers also did not care enough to discipline me.

I often see people on tumblr, mostly the very young, flail around in discourse. They don’t have an objective. They don’t know what they want to achieve, and they have never thought about strategizing and interpersonal effectiveness. No one can get everything they want by being an asshole. You must be able to work with other people, and that includes smiling when you hate them.

Read Machiavelli. Start with The Prince, but then move on to Discourses. Read Musashi’s Five Rings. Read The Art of War. They’re classics for a reason. They can’t cover all situations, but they can do more for how you think about strategizing than anything you’re getting in middle school and high school curricula.

Don’t vote third party unless you can tell me not only what your objective is but also why this action stands a meaningful chance of accomplishing it. Otherwise, back up and approach your strategy from a new angle. I don’t care how angry you are with Biden right now. He knows about it, and he is both trying to do something and not doing enough. I care about what will happen to millions of people if we have another Trump presidency. Look up Ross Perot, and learn from our past. Find your objective. If it is to stop the genocide in Palestine now, call your elected representatives now. They don’t care about emails; they care about phone calls, because they live in the past. I know this because I shadowed a lobbyist, because knowing how power works is critical to using it.

How do you think I have gotten two clinics to start including gender care in their planning?

Start small. Chip away. Keep working. Find your leverage; figure out how and when to effectively use it. Choose your battles, so that you can concentrate on the battle at hand instead of wasting your resources in many directions. Learn from the accumulated wisdom of people who spent their lives learning by doing, by making mistakes, by watching the mistakes of their enemies.

Don’t be a dickhead. Be smarter than I was at 14. Ask yourself: what is your objective?

fairuzfan:

i-say-ok:

free-post-store:

captain-price-official:

youdehponskunt:

ametislady:

nerevar-shid-and-fard:

of-claws-and-dragonscales:

nerevar-shid-and-fard:

how do you guys feel about my lock screen

OP do you take constructive criticism?

there is nothing to criticize here

Who the hell organize apps by color

Mind your business

$0

ok.

pinene:

capacity2:

howlingatthemoon3:

capacity2:

dullahandyke:

People who fuck around on their laptops during lectures are so important I’m watching someone in front of me play tetris online enraptured

I’ll never forget the girl who was shopping for dildos mid lecture. She picked the one I wanted too

You can’t just leave this in the tags 🤣 @capacity2

I didn’t though….. it’s on the post u can see it right there I typed it onto the post

Does anyone want me

rebel-girl-queen-of-my-world:

fairuzfan:

Dr. Norman Finkelstein, whose parents were both Holocaust survivors, has a book about this very thing. “The Holocaust Industry: Reflections on the Exploitation of Jewish Suffering” posits that the memory of the Nazi Holocaust is exploited by elements of the American Jewish community for political and financial gain, and to further Israeli interests. According to Finkelstein, this “Holocaust industry” has corrupted Jewish culture and the authentic memory of the Holocaust.

witchesversuspatriarchy:

featuresofinterest:

god i hope the cpsc takes the shot. i think this would dramatically change their entire business model. amazon makes so much money by selling defective or mislabeled or just plain dangerous products and then faces little liability because this stuff is actually being sold by random third-party sellers that don’t get vetted at all and can be hard to prosecute because they’re in china or wherever. this is a big part of what makes amazon so powerful and it would be good for everyone if they were forced to bear more responsibility for the damages caused by the crap available on their website