“They’re not smarter or faster they’re buying up others’ lifetimes to do their chores”
“They’re not smarter or faster they’re buying up others’ lifetimes to do their chores”
“They’re not smarter or faster they’re buying up others’ lifetimes to do their chores”
[images: series of tweets from @realavocadofact. tweets read, “they’re not elite they’re rich”, “they’re not better they’re better supplied”, “they’re not smarter or faster they’re buying up others’ lifetimes to do their chores”, “there is nothing wrong with you; you’re doing your best in a game rigged against you, probably not enough people and fruit tell you that”]
me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit
mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters
me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU
That’s it. That’s the dream. I’m almost mad that that’s the dream.
That’s half the dream. The other half is being fairie fucking godmother to everyone on the planet.
See, I had 100k for a hot minute. Doesn’t matter why. But for nearly a calendar year, I picked up the tab every chance I got, i lavished people with gifts, I took a friend to Greece, I paid for healthcare for myself and a few other people, for lawyers to help someone get out of an abusive marriage, Christmas presents for a single mom of 3.
It felt incredible. Just to take away the worry and say, “I’ve got you.” Instacart groceries to a grieving friend of a friend across town. Pay the unexpected car repairs. Gift a young artist a yearlong subscription to Procreate.
That’s why I’ll never understand billionaires. If you could fix it, if money could actually make even one life better, why would you not do it? Even just for the kick? Hell, i don’t care if it feeds your ego. Be Tony Stark, be Superman, idgaf. When you’ll never be able to spend all that you have, even if you some up every damn day like it was your job, if you could end world hunger six times over for the price of a social media company, why wouldn’t you just DO IT?
I don’t have a coherent conclusion to this, except that if I ever meet Jeff Bezos, I’ll beat him to death with my bare fists.
I’m getting way too comfortable at work. My boss asked me to do something and I replied ‘pay me’ and he looked like the saddest wettest little bug and said ‘we… we do?’
There are 1 occurences of C in this post that consists of 168 characters in total. That’s 0.5952380952380952% C, which is below the 2.8% C average.
isekai about a nyc apartment block getting teleported into a fantasy realm, and how this group of people who previously have only had incidental contact with one another come together to build a vibrant community in their new circumstances. there’s a season-long arc about introducing bagels and pizza to the fantasy world that gets into the details of sourcing ingredients, developing new technologies, and learning how to work with supernatural substitutions.
Clarifying question: just the people or the buildings and animal life too?
And does it include random people on the street at the time of the transfer?
oh the whole thing for sure, im picturing the whole city block with a crust of sidewalk just dropped onto the outskirts of a small medieval village. im thinking theres probably a corner store and a couple other things included too, so youve got the people who work there or were shopping at the time of the transfer too.
i hadnt thought of animals but having a whole thing w pigeons would be awesome too; have new york feral pigeons meeting with tamed messenger pigeons of the era, a raccoon that was sleeping in a trash can eats a magical necklace and starts talking. love it.
ALT
fucking love this. an army of monster rats descend upon the kingdom, led by a single subway rat under the banner of a half-eaten pizza crust
But they do not anticipate the rise of the Hero, their one, true, and most worthy foe—
I lived and worked in a lighthouse at a previous job. There was a thick line painted in a circle around the shack where the fog signal was kept. The line represented how close you could get to the fog signal without experiencing physical harm in the form of eardrums shattering or worse.
Even in the house it was LOUD. Probably the loudest thing I have ever experienced but at a normal, predictable interval. You would begin to time your sentences with little pauses with the rest of the lighthouse crew so you would talk like this while making your………..HORN…………. tea and then carry on talking because you knew when it would go off. It rattled the walls and the dishes in our cabinet.
At least one girl had died there. They kept photos of her everywhere “in honor of her sacrifice” because she had decided to take the winter watch alone and died in a storm where bounders the size of mini vans had been lifted out of the ocean and left scattered across the island, to say nothing of the ice chunks. People weren’t allowed to be alone on the watch after that.
One day a dead moose washed up on shore and it took my entire crew all day but we managed to rig up a line to hang it up to dry because we thought having a moose skeleton in the house would really spice the living room up a bit. It did. Weird shit happens when six of you are left alone, like ALONE ALONE, no cell reception, no wifi, just a radio to contact the real world and not a lot of reason to do that. People don’t go on lighthouse jobs if they want to stay connected, I’ve found.
That said Id do it all again, I really do treasure those days
you know you could’ve just said “no they don’t have wifi” and that would’ve answered the question
Had to unfollow this one person on here cause they just would not stop making posts about how transfems on e getting periods is just made up symptoms and like, I don’t have definitive proof I only have my and others experience but like how do you, as someone who is not on e, who has access to the same amount of studies looking into this with decent sample sizes as I do (none), feel so confident to say it’s all just placebo and made up ? What makes you so confident ? Cause I gotta say after almost two years of nearly right on the dot once a month suddenly feeling nausea all week, taking the most unbelievable shits, feeling all my organs cramp, and having mood swings out the ass which always just so happens to line up with when the two people with uteruses in my house also get their periods, I feel like I have more data to work off of than you do
Had to unfollow this one person on here cause they just would not stop making posts about how transfems on e getting periods is just made up symptoms and like, I don’t have definitive proof I only have my and others experience but like how do you, as someone who is not on e, who has access to the same amount of studies looking into this with decent sample sizes as I do (none), feel so confident to say it’s all just placebo and made up ? What makes you so confident ? Cause I gotta say after almost two years of nearly right on the dot once a month suddenly feeling nausea all week, taking the most unbelievable shits, feeling all my organs cramp, and having mood swings out the ass which always just so happens to line up with when the two people with uteruses in my house also get their periods, I feel like I have more data to work off of than you do
when lifting a pleated skirt to show off your sweet kicks, make sure you hold it from the front and not the back or else everyone will say you look like a trashcan with feet.
i want to be upset about it but like i really cannot blame you, this one’s on me.
My friend Miley (~368F) was not my friend at the time I robbed her. For context, I was kidnapped by aliens a couple of weeks ago. I escaped, but crashlanded in the wilderness with nothing but the clothes on my back. Since then, my fellow survivors and I have formed a party to hunt down, rob, and kill our way to the alien boss. That was how I met Miley.
After my friends and I knocked her unconscious, we redistributed everything she owned among ourselves. The others liked their casual clothes but I hated mine, so I got hers. I wore them at night exclusively until I found some PJs that I liked. I still wear Miley's clothes for parties and date nights since they are still quite nice. I don't expect to find any pretty clothes soon since the towns near us are either full of refugees, fungal-shaped beings, alien cultists, or zombies.
Flash forward a few days later. I found Miley in a cell at another stronghold and set her free. She's staying with us while we murder our way through the stronghold. I noticed that at night she always wears the same set of casual clothes, which is identical to the one I stole. The party is drinking around the campfire tonight and I have an choice to make.
Would it be weird to wear Miley's stolen clothing to dinner while she's wearing the exact same thing?
when lifting a pleated skirt to show off your sweet kicks, make sure you hold it from the front and not the back or else everyone will say you look like a trashcan with feet.
i want to be upset about it but like i really cannot blame you, this one’s on me.
You died with a remarkable fortune and no heirs. You grant your wealth to two rivalling schools in the same city, under one condition: One of them must always keep your preserved skull. They may keep it on display (therefore attracting interest and potentially fame to the school) but that always raises the risk of students of the other school stealing it. The students and staff of the other school have not only the right, but the duty to do so at any opportunity. Nobody can be arrested for this unless they’re caught breaking some other law.
Ideally, the students of the two schools keep stealing your skull, back and forth, forever. The culture of both of the schools is enriched by this activity, the students are too busy engaged in these harmless shenanigans to drift into worse habits and behaviours, and you get to be included in countless nonsensically frivolous heist operations whose sole purpose is to bring more fun into the world.
Several people have independenly told me that they thought I was gay in the opposite direction to them. Like I’ve had women tell me “I had a crush on you but I thought you were a gayboy” and men tell me “I had a crush on you but thought you were a lesbian.”
