Your honor! Please direct your attention towards the manga.
As you can see there are small pieces of paper sticking out of every volume.
But no such paper is sticking out of the Batman comic.
The reason? The Batman book doesn’t belong to the library. The photographer put it there to take a picture.
Once again making hasty assumptions, Wright?
First of all, I’d like to direct the court’s attention to this particular spot, in the top right-hand corner.
Notice how the words are blocking the top of the Batman book.
With this in mind, how can you claim that there is “no such paper sticking out of the Batman comic”?!
Say whaaaat?
Well uhm
Look at the size of the paper pieces, they’re all sticking pretty far out.
If there was paper in the batman comic, it would be big enough to stick up over the text.
And while gravity does exist, it probably won’t make the paper do a 90 degree turn and just lean horisontally left at the middle.
Still grasping for straws, Wright?
Hypothetically, if there were a paper there, this picture would not be able to prove its presence. I’ve taken the liberty of drawing a diagram to illustrate my point. We are faced with three possibilities. It is possible that (1) the paper was simply tucked in deeper than the others.
Paper is a soft material, Wright. It’s not unreasonable for it to do a (2) 90 degree turn.
Or perhaps, (3) a paper does not exist there at all.
Either way, you cannot prove your client innocent without sufficient evidence.
Which, of course, is impossible thanks to the obtrusive words.
I’m sorry Edgeworth.
I concede that I can’t disprove theory 1
But the image you submited for theory 2 is contradictory.
Look at the tilt of the other papers. They clearly prove how much the paper would tilt.
And theory 3 is my point! Why would the library’s book not have this piece of paper when the other library books do?
While you still have thory 1, there is another contradiction.
The books are not in alphabetical order, this proves that the batman comic was placed there specifically for the picture!
Ack.
(Perhaps I should’ve left the artistry to the forensic artist…)
Now hold it right there! It doesn’t matter which direction the paper is going because it’s impossible to prove it even exists!
Those theories are all the same! We do not have enough information to prove them. There could be an infinite amount of papers in there for all we know. I simply presented them only so that the court could better understand your baseless conjecture!
… I suppose the order of the books do seem out of the ordinary. However, therein lies not just one possibility. Clearly, those are Japanese graphic novels, also known as “manga”. And the Batman comic book is a graphic novel, too, no?
Seeing as it currently has only graphic novels in the shelf, it is possible that any other novels have simply not yet been restocked. Asserting whether or not this effect was deliberate is useless– there is no way of knowing if the photographer and the captioner are the same person, let alone their involvement in this picture.
Face it Wright, you can’t prove any of these groundless accusations!
Did everyone just ignore the library sticker?
D E AD
I will reblog this any time i see it on my dash
Absolutely fucking D E S T R O Y E D
This is the strongest Tumblr post I’ve ever witnessed.
This was recommended and as a super logical person I can see why
because here’s the thing here’s the thing the question was not “would you be more surprised to run into a fairy or a walrus” the question was “would you be more surprised to find a fairy or a walrus AT YOUR DOOR” and while no, i do not believe in fairies and would be surprised to know they EXIST i would NOT be surprised to find one at my door. HOWEVER, if a WALRUS shows up at my door i have to contend with the fact that a walrus somehow made it to my apartment specifically and knocked on my door for god knows what reason. i would be more surprised to know that a fairy EXISTS, of course, but NOT that they’re at my door, do you get me?
helpful infographic
what did you say about my phallus
Motherf… listen.
Which of the two is more likely to…
- Exist?
Walrus <-
Fairy
- Thrive in a major metropolitan area?
Walrus
Fairy <-
- Have a motive that can be resolved by seeking out an unfamiliar human?
Walrus
Fairy <-
- Understand that knocking on a door is likely to make a human appear?
Walrus
Fairy <-
- Be able to knock?
Walrus
Fairy <-
- Be able to mislead people to the degree that the “common assumptions” about any of the above are incorrect?
Walrus
Fairy <-
Don’t get me wrong, I expect neither walruses nor fairies to knock on my door. But if surprise comes from unexpected outcomes, then here’s what I’m wrong about if a fairy can knock on my door:
- “I was wrong about fairies being mere folklore”
And here’s what I’m wrong about if a walrus can knock on my door:
- “I was wrong about where walruses tend to live”
- “I was wrong about how smart walruses are”
- “I was wrong about the driving forces that are likely to motivate a walrus”
- “I was wrong about how easy it is for a flipper to imitate the impact of a human knucklebone”
- “I was wrong about a walrus’s ability to wander around in public without causing a stir”
- “I was wrong about the level of danger city streets pose to walruses”
- “I was wrong about a walrus’s ability to navigate a city”
why does this have 32k notes? it’s just a picture of a knife in a ranch bottle, is there some unspoken joke that 32 thousand people share? what is going on here, i dont get it. it’s just a fucking picture of a knife in a ranch bottle. is there some spiritual connection people have to this picture? is there some ominous and mystical reasoning that this has 32 thousand notes? do people reblog this because it makes them look like some indie blogger? or is there just something funny to this? someone please explain
no one tell him
Scheduling this to post on March 15 because it needs to happen.
March 15 again and here we go…
I know it has nothing to do with Romania, but I have to.
We should be fine as long as we do not reblog bread.
Question.
I’ve rebogged bread.
What?
I have done nothing but reblog bread for the past three days.
Where, where have you been sending it?!
I love how there are more reblogs than likes
This post. This fucking post. I cannot believe after nearly 7 years its still going around. Let alone ON MY OWN DASH! A kid born on the day i posted this would be entering 2nd grade right now.
being obsessed with a character is so fucking embarrassing like I’ll be getting dressed in the morning like “I bet the 12th doctor would wear these socks” bitch shut the fuck up
It really makes me laugh when transphobes are like “no one back in the day cross dressed or played with gender, it’s just a trend” shut up look at this Lesbian couple from my home (when it used to be Kingdom of Hungary, Budapest) in 1920s who dressed in half traditional femme and masc wedding attire
everybody tweets like a social theorist these days, blaming their sad little lives on the commodification of art, decline of third spaces, hyperindividualism, and other such nonsense. I, on the other hand, know what’s causing my misery–the demiurge’s curse
this tweet is a foundational text for terminally-online bi people everywhere because let’s face it, many of us are the grungler, but “whatever happened to beauty” legsweeps me every single time
the problem with fanfiction is that theres too many coffeeshop aus and not enough aus where the characters are trapped in an alivehouse psychological horror situation or perhaps a labyrinth of sorts
This is something I can imagine an elder being showing to a mortal to drive them mad. Something more realistic than reality. More accurate than perfection. Something humans weren’t supposed to comprehend. And when faced with it, their minds melt.
The best part about this is that it’s completely plausible that it’s a totally casual thing. The Justice League has to crash in a hotel room together and share a bed. We already know Diana has no qualms about sharing her bed with men without any sexual connotation to it. And Batman and Superman are bros (usually depending on your preferred continuity), so this is basically just Superfriends cuddling in bed like it’s casual.
They’re also on a fold-out sofa which suggests they are, in fact, in the basement of the Kent family home.
Ma Kent is not going to be pleased when she sees all three of them are still wearing their shoes.
Clark: Would you relax?
Bruce: There’s an actual pillow right there.
Clark: Look, if you’re not comfortable…
Bruce: I’m never comfortable.
Diana: Both
your flanks are guarded by people who can punch out mountains. Clark
has super-hearing. You have literally never been safer in your life.
Bruce: Does Clark have super waking-up-if-there-are-ninjas powers?
Clark: Yes. Go to sleep.
listen this is cannon and anyone willing to disagree can choke
Hes uncomfortable because theres no bat-alarm-clock, obviously.
This is the worst format for this because there’s no way to measure the amount of people who ignore. I get that it’s not serious, but the data analyst in me wants to kill someone.
I genuinely wish I could sentence Ben Shapiro to working non-managerial retail for the rest of his natural life
I’ve had a fair number of people saying “why not sentence him to death” or sentiments along those lines. I know it probably sounds like a cliche, but death would be way too fucking easy.
Ben Shapiro is an influential conservative talking head, to put it politely. There is a nonzero chance he could get what he wants: an end to retirement at 65.
And the thing is, I’ve already known people who couldn’t retire at 65. I worked with a lovely old lady who had already collapsed due to cardiac issues at work multiple times, and she had another medical emergency while I worked there.
Do you know what it’s like when some strangers want you to call 911 and you don’t, because you’re not doing that until she says she wants to go to the hospital or loses consciousness, because you know her, and American healthcare is ridiculously expensive, and this would be her third ambulance trip in a year?
I want him to know how being that old and infirm and unable to retire feels. I want him to contemplate his mortality and will to survive when all he’s got going for him is keeping the coffee brewing and the roller grill cooking and taking out the trash. I want him to know what it’s like to have well-meaning people not care about his feelings and call 911 because that’s what they’ve been taught that’s what good people do in an emergency. I want him to know what it’s like to insist that he should just rest for a moment, sitting on a hard chair among the Tornados and hot dogs and coffee while concerned strangers are terrified he might die and wonder why his friends don’t seem to want to help him.
Do you understand? Death means his problems are over. I want him to experience the cruelty he demands.
A US prisoner doing slave labour for 13 cents an hour donates his $17.74 paycheck to help Gaza while the government that uses him as slave labour sends billions to Israel.
Let’s not forget to acknowledge Alexandre Dumas this Black History Month
The writer of two of the most well known stories worldwide, The Three Musketeers and The Count of Monte Cristo was a black man.
That’s excellence.
Let’s not forget that he was played on screen by a white man. And the fact that he was black is barely ever mentioned or the book he wrote inspired by his experiences.
Other things not to forget about Alexandre Dumas:
chose to take on his slave grandmother’s last name, Dumas, like his father did before him.
grew up too poor for formal education, so was largely self-taught, including becoming a prolific reader, multilingual, well-travelled, and a foodie, resulting in his writing both a combination encyclopedia/cookbook (which just— is fucking outrageous to me) AND the adaptation of The Nutcracker on which Tchaikovsky based his ballet
he also wrote a LOOOOT of nonfiction and fiction about history, politics, and revolution, bc he was pro-monarchy, but a radical cuss, and that got him in a lot of hot water at home and abroad.
even beyond that, he generally put up with a lot of racist bullshit in France, so he went and wrote a novel about colonialism and a BLATANTLY self-insert anti-slavery vigilante hero (which he then cribbed from to write the Count of Monte Cristo, the main character of which, Edmond Dantés, Dumas also based on himself).
(…a novel which also features a LOAD of PoC beyond the Count, and at LEAST one queer character, btw, bc EVERY MOVIE ADAPTATION OF ANYTHING BY DUMAS IS A LIE; seriously, at LEAST one of the four Musketeers is Black, y'all.)
famously, when some fuckshit or other wanted to come at Dumas with some anti-Black foolishness, Dumas replied, “My father was a mulatto, my grandfather was a Negro, and my great-grandfather a monkey. You see, Sir, my family starts where yours ends.”
for the bicentennial of his birthday, Pres. Jacques Cirac was like, “…sorry about the hella racism,” and had Dumas’s ashes reinterred at the Panthéon of Paris, bc if you’re gonna keep the corpses of the cream of the crop all together, Dumas’s more widely read and translated than literally everybody else.
and they are still finding stuff old dude wrote, seriously; like discovering “lost” works as recently as 2002, publishing stuff for the first time as recently as 2005.
ALSO IMPORTANT:
SWAG
I am absolutely ashamed to admit I had NO idea Dumas was black.
daddy general dumas was an immense fierce french warrior who was a 6 foot plus, stunningly gorgeous and charismatic Black gentleman
he invaded egypt
the native egyptians said “is this napoleon? this must be napoleon. we for one welcome our majestic new overlord”
then napoleon showed up
napoleon has all the presence of yesterday’s plain Tesco hummus
the native egyptians were like “… no… no, we’ve thought very hard and we’ll have General Dumas actually”
this did not make napoleon happy
in fact it made him jealous
napoleon felt so emasculated that he launched a campaign of revenge against General Dumas, including taking away his pension, that probably inspired a lot of Alexandre’s rather satisfying scenes in which fathers are nobly avenged and the money-grubbing villains are rubbed in the mud
I think the obsession with having been “born this way” largely stems from the idea that you need to be “innocent” to be guiltless.
If something is weird then you need to have no control over it, otherwise it would be mandatory to fix it. If I said that I had control over my stimming and could stop it at any time, people would request I do so. Not for my comfort but for theirs. If I said that I had control over my gender and could be something binary or maybe even cis, people would request I do so. If I said that I have control over my sexuality and could make myself heterosexual, people would request I do so. If I said I could control my attraction and could make myself monogamous, people would request I do so. If I said that I could control my disability and could choose to stop a flair up in its tracks, people would request I do so. They would never ask out of the goodness of their hearts, they would always be asking because I was annoying, concerning, distracting, or inconveniencing them.
Diversity is sometimes only tolerated if you have no control. If you have control, rules will be made to stop it. Hair will be straightened, clothes will be standardized, languages will be shushed, interests will be squashed, weight will be lost, and so on and so on and so on. Proving that we were born this way replaces the more obvious, that we’re okay this way. I don’t need to be a helpless victim of my differences to be forgiven for them. My differences aren’t crimes.
A cartoon from 1914 that could have been written today
A reminder that if you’re struggling to pay rent, buy food, working multiple jobs or more than 40 hours a week, capitalism is working just at is intended to.
Israel is aiming to either push everyone out of Gaza or completely wipe them out. Either way, we’re witnessing a LIVE ethnic cleansing with the US as its main and biggest supporter.
24 Feb 2024
—
Don’t let anyone tell you it’s a “conflict”. Call it what it is: an ethnic cleansing. Imperialism. An occupation. Terrorism.
I hope the number is not that high. Desperately so. But also a reminder that it is definitely higher than official number reported by the Ministry of Health. The official number only accounts for deaths reported by hospitals (of which over 30/36 are no longer functioning).
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